I Hate Christmas (2022) s01e05 Episode Script

1
A NETFLIX SERIES
[funky Christmas music playing]
[Gianna] Life is full of surprises.
6 DAYS TILL CHRISTMAS
There are nice surprises,
like friends who come to your aid
when you need them
Jesus was born in the desert, wasn't he?
So we're here
putting a mountain together because?
Well, I don't think
there are any caves in the desert.
I think Bethlehem is mostly mountainous.
Sorry, weren't you the expert on Jesus?
But I'm no expert on geography.
But if we want to have a waterfall here,
we need to start it from above,
otherwise we'll have a, um, river.
No, no, no, no. God forbid! Waterfall.
We're having a waterfall with real water
Ugh!
- What if we had an oasis?
- No.
No. I promised my father
a Nativity scene worthy of a competition,
without Francesco's help,
because he's not setting foot
in here again. I promised him.
- All right. Let's carry on.
- Okay. I was thinking if we
[Gianna] A nd there are strange surprises
[Gianna] It already has a sort of
[Gianna] like friends who get with people
you really didn't expect them to.
[Didi] I brought reinforcements.
This is
Mario.
Gianna, you've already met him.
Yes, Mario is a troglodyte,
but he's very good with his hands.
- [Didi chuckles]
- [bell jangles]
Hi, Gianna
[Mario] Hi, Gianna.
I'm sorry
for calling you an arsehole last night.
Uh okay. [laughs nervously]
The biscuits.
I brought you some fresh biscuits.
The ones my mum makes.
Oh, the ones your mum makes.
The biscotti. Thank you.
Oh, how lovely! All sorted then, right?
- Talk later, hmm?
- Yes.
[Caterina and Didi] Bye.
- Bye, Mario.
- [Mario] Bye.
- [Gianna] One second!
- [Didi] You're hurting me!
So that's the guy you disappeared with
the past few days?
Mario?
- But
- Yep. Yeah.
I did try telling you, but you didn't
want to hear anything about it, so
- Why? Do you mind?
- No, of course not!
I don't. No, I'm happy for you, but
And it looks like
you like him quite a bit.
And "quite a bit" is rare for you.
[clattering in background]
[Didi] Hmm?
One needs space when working.
- I told you he's a troglodyte.
- As if you don't like the troglo
This This
This is the mountain in Bethlehem.
Just picture it.
A waterfall with real water
that starts from here,
flows down here to the bottom,
onto a majestic triumph of rocks.
A triumph of rocks.
He's now decided
he's only going to use difficult words.
Isn't he adorable?
- Harpy?
- Testosterone-driven imbecile.
Okay! Can we get back to Bethlehem?
Anyway, I have lots
of other difficult words.
Save them for tonight.
[whirring]
This really is good.
[Gianna] The worst surprise is realising
you're the only one left behind.
[funky Christmas music playing]
Fine by me. Yes.
Didi's right. Love is overrated.
Better to value independence,
looking after yourself.
[music rewinds]
And then Didi gets a boyfriend!
Are you kidding me?
It's a plot to make me go nuts!
I will stand ♪
I will stand ♪
I will stand ♪
[Matilde chuckles]
[Matilde] Come on!
No one's here. Run, run, run, run!
Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go!
[Matilde gasps]
Giannina! Gosh, it's you.
You made me jump! [chuckles]
Where
Are you going where I think you are?
Have you led him astray too?
Come on.
You know I feel terrible if I don't smoke!
Anyway, he really does know
how to keep a secret, right?
Right, Dieghino?
[Matilde chuckles]
All right. All right.
Come on!
Run, run, run! Go, go, go, go, go!
I will stand, I'm standing alone ♪
[music stops]
[Patrizio exhales]
[sighs and laughs]
Are you trying to show me
you're well enough to be discharged early?
No, no.
I don't want to be discharged early.
The opposite. [sniffs]
I'm trying to get my strength back
because when I get out of here,
I'm going to need it. All of it.
I've decided to check myself into rehab.
Ah.
Because you were right.
I'm lucky
to have someone who worries about me.
I just don't want
to make her worry any more.
- Your girlfriend, Irene.
- Who's coming to see me today. [laughs]
I want to make her a promise.
And I have to be able to keep it.
[ethereal music playing]
We deserve a bissiola biscuit.
They're homemade.
[Patrizio] Ah.
- They're good.
- Good, hmm?
Much better
than the ones you get from stores.
Thank you.
How is the patient?
Have you checked his vitals?
Yes. He's quite stable. He's improving.
Okay. So could even
think about discharging him?
No, no, no. What do you mean, discharge
him? No, he's still having therapy.
Yes, I know, but I was thinking
we could have him come in
once a week as an outpatient.
We're running out of beds.
I'm being asked to deal with it.
No, please, don't do it. Don't.
It's not just about the therapy.
It's that
Patrizio wants to get clean.
If we throw him out of hospital now,
he could relapse.
Yes, but there are protocols
I know. It's true, there are protocols.
You're right. It's just that
He's promised to get help,
but he's still really fragile,
so the longer he stays in hospital,
the better chance he has of getting there.
Doesn't happen often.
All right.
Why are you laughing?
Because I can't make medical decisions
any more without asking your opinion.
No, I'm sorry, really.
I don't want to go over your head.
- Gianna
- It's just that with him
I'm serious. I purposely came to ask you.
You don't just think about
a patient's illness.
You think about them too.
And that's something
That's precious.
Thank you.
Thank you. Um [sighs]
- Well, I have to do my rounds.
- Yes, of course. I also have to
[clears throat] But sometimes I'd like
Check the dailies before I kill
the new guy. He's messed up.
[Gianna] Yes.
Oh, what were you saying?
About a Never mind.
- [machine beeps]
- [man grunts]
Watch
- You need to give it a tap here
- [man] Uh-huh.
- And then hard
- [man] Ah!
- [machine whirring]
- There you are.
- Excellent. [chuckles] Thank you.
- [Gianna] It's nothing.
Shall I
There you are.
Thank you.
[funky Christmas music playing]
No, I'm not checking if Davide has called.
[laughs]
It doesn't bother me at all. [chuckles]
The fact that it's been seven days
and four hours, I think [laughs]
since he last called me.
It doesn't bother me at all.
Not even the fact
that everyone's happy except me.
Everything's fine.
[funky music playing]
I got, I got my style ♪
I got, I got my style ♪
And it's all right ♪
- Papa.
- Gianna.
What are you doing here?
Something happened?
No, nothing. Why?
No, it's just that you never come here,
and I'll be at your house in an hour.
No, I was just passing.
I wanted to talk to you
for a moment, okay?
Find out how you're doing.
Everything's good.
Everything's really good, yeah.
I promised you a Nativity scene
worthy of a competition,
and you'll have that.
- Don't worry.
- I don't like seeing you unhappy.
I'm not worried.
No, Papa,
you're just better at pretending.
[dad] So
The guy you were supposed
to be going out with the other day,
does he not exist either?
Was that the usual act for Mum?
No, no. He does exist.
It's just that he's not really
the kind of guy Mama would like.
- No? Why?
- [Gianna] No.
Because [sighs]
She wouldn't like him.
And I haven't heard from him in a while
anyway, because he hasn't called me, so
Gianna,
you have to do what you want to do,
not what other people want.
And if you like him, call him.
Don't be afraid to make the first move.
Suggest something crazy to him.
I don't know.
You have to grasp happiness
with both hands, Gianna,
because you never know when it's there
and when it's not.
[sombre music playing]
Right, I'm off now. Bye.
- I'm the one doing the Nativity scene.
- All right. You can do it. See you later.
Bye.
[phone beeps]
HOSPITAL SHIF
DAVIDE'S BIRTHDAY
[pop music playing]
[woman vocalizing]
[Gianna] Um
Um, do we have
Are you depressed? In need of sugar?
I'm happy.
I want to bake a cake for Davide.
I can think of lots of other things
you could do for Davide before a cake.
It's his birthday. Plus, he baked bread
for me with his own hands.
I can think of
a lot of things he did for you,
with his own hands, before bread.
I just want to hold onto
this moment of happiness,
and please don't try and stop me.
Don't try telling me that this is soppy
and that I shouldn't do it,
that the way to a man's heart
isn't through his stomach
but through his pants. Please! Really.
What if I tell you
I wanted to help you bake the cake?
What did you say?
- Do you already have a recipe?
- No, wait. [laughs]
Wait a second
- Are you kidding me? Because
- No.
Is Mario hiding somewhere here
because you want to show him
a new, softer version of yourself?
- He can hear you
- No, it has nothing to do with Mario.
No?
I think it's right
that you want to see that young guy.
I mean, even if it's only to fu to dance!
Yes.
[whimpers]
Yes, five. I know. Well done.
- Mario's very good at dancing too.
- Yeah, sure.
I mean, not at that level, but
But my happiness is still guaranteed.
- That's what we're talking about here?
- Yeah. Of course we're talking about that.
Actually, I don't have a recipe.
But, let's call
An ambulance
because you're having a stroke? [laughs]
[electronic music playing]
Excuse me.
[Davide] Gianna.
- Gianna.
- Hey.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Um
I I didn't know you were coming.
No, actually, I was
Nice nice party.
You're not upset, are you?
No.
Sofia's a friend. We're friends.
We dance. Sometimes we have fun.
We get together when we want to,
but we're not
- I'm not with anyone
- No, no.
- I'd have told you.
- You're not with anyone.
There's nothing wrong with
That's right.
with not being with I mean,
kissing someone if you're not with anyone.
Definitely.
Did you bake this?
Yeah, sure.
I mean, I bake lots of cakes every night.
Not all of them are heart-shaped, but
Just because it was for your birthday,
to say happy birthday. Here.
- Thank you.
- Okay, well, I'm going.
- [Davide] Do you want to stay?
- No, no. I was just passing, really.
No, actually
Actually, I would like to stay.
Not tonight though. I'd like
to spend time with you.
A lot.
I don't care about how old you are,
that you're younger than me,
and what other people might say.
I like you a lot. That's all.
There's nothing wrong
with being with someone, is there?
Gianna, I don't
I don't think
that's a good idea at the moment.
I'm leaving for Bali after A levels.
One of my friends works there,
so I'm going to meet him,
and I don't know what's going to happen.
It's not a good idea, that's all.
Well, who hasn't been travelling
after their exams?
Lovely. I I went to Apulia.
A week, camping.
I like you. A lot.
But we're at two different stages
in our lives, you know?
You have a house, a job, and
You use words like
"love" and "falling in love" with me.
I shouldn't have made that joke.
Yeah, you should. You should.
Because that's how you are.
You're genuine and fun
and very, very sexy.
But I can't do it.
I want to see the world.
I've been wanting to leave here
all my life.
Just think,
I don't even know where Bali is! [laughs]
Well, uh
Happy birthday.
5 DAYS TILL CHRISTMAS
[sobbing] Eleven years younger than me,
and he dumped me!
And I'm even crying about it!
But look, if he dumped you, then it means
he's not the right one, right?
So maybe it's better this way, no?
Better for who? For who?
Definitely not for me!
[door closes]
[Margherita] This is just what I needed.
You even baked him a heart-shaped cake!
[Gianna] Yes!
Well, if you want to get drunk with me,
that's fine,
but not one word about how difficult
this is for you to be consoling me, okay?
Can I get a vodka?
- Yeah.
- [Margherita] Thank you.
- It's good too!
- I know!
- Well done!
- Thank you.
[Caterina] Are you sure
you want to be eating all this sugar
because you always say
that you'll get tooth decay,
then you need to take out a loan,
then you'll die.
No.
I say that this will give you cavities,
and if I have to go to the dentist,
then I'll have to remortgage,
and then, yes, I'll die!
You know what?
Death is fine for today.
[both laughing]
[sobbing]
Come on. Drink on it.
He's not worth it.
- Sometimes you get dumped.
- [Gianna] That's easy for you to say.
You don't have a biological clock ticking,
with everyone asking,
"When will you have children
or get married?"
I love children.
Me too.
To all the times
that passion has played bad jokes on us.
[all] Up, down, Christmas with a frown!
- [Gianna groans] Are you drinking that?
- No, I'll drink it.
- Up for another round?
- I even bought a heart-shaped baking tray!
A silicon one!
[sobbing] Because it's non-stick.
It was just a romantic gesture,
nothing else! I didn't want anything else!
[soft romantic music playing]
[slurring] Gianna, Gianna had
A crocodile and a doctor ♪
Pa-pa, pa-pa-pa-pa, pa-pa-pa-pa ♪
And Gianna didn't waste even a minute ♪
[laughing]
To make love ♪
She took it well though,
in the end, didn't she?
Do you know what her secret is?
It's her name.
Because Gianna is carefree, like her song,
even if she's alone and unlucky.
Whereas I have a family,
but I'm always anxious and worried
about everything.
- Now the night, the night is over ♪
- Is over ♪
We'll celebrate life ♪
[all laugh]
But don't you have a love song too?
No. No, that's different.
That's different
because the protagonist is a man.
He takes Margherita,
puts her at the centre of his world,
treats her like a goddess
and says he'll do everything for her,
but it's a con
because men like that
don't exist in the real world.
[laughs]
Apart from you.
Always taking my dog for walks.
[Thomas] Mm-hmm.
- You must feel really sorry for me.
- No, I don't feel sorry for you.
- No?
- No.
Anyway, what
What did you mean earlier, when you said
that passion plays bad jokes?
I mean, did your husband cheat on you
No!
or did you cheat on him?
[laughs] No!
Gianna! My goodness,
you're completely drunk.
No! Margherita, she doesn't ever let
passion, lust, take hold of her.
I think she was referring to my mum
and her mad moments.
She was the one who played a bad joke!
[laughs]
Who? Your mother?
Yes, it was such a horrible mess.
I remember.
But it happened years ago,
when her and I were really, really little.
- Did she fall in love with someone else?
- No, no. She left home. [chuckles]
Yes. And she was crying all of the time.
Dad was a complete zombie,
and the house was such a mess!
And you?
Uh
I learned how the washing machine works.
And I slept next to Gianna,
who was always scared.
You were a child too.
I mean, weren't weren't you scared?
Listen, anyway, I
I take your dog for walks because
you're beautiful.
I mean, people who
People who worry about others
are beautiful.
No?
- Let's go see if they've found baby Jesus!
- Hey?
Baby Jesus is lost! We have to find him!
- [Margherita] Hold on!
- [Gianna] This way!
[Gianna singing]
Gianna, Gianna, Gianna! ♪
[Gianna] I knew it.
It's gonna be a shitty Christmas.
For everyone.
Sorry, but, uh, shouldn't the baby be put
in the manger on the night of the 24th?
Maybe that's why it's not there.
Then, when it gets here,
it'll bring the magic of Christmas
into everyone's hearts.
[all laugh]
Excuse me!
I know what you just said
was really poetic,
but the magic of Christmas won't stop
my mother from having a heart attack
when she finds out
Gianna doesn't have a boyfriend yet.
So we need a new plan.
Any ideas?
Gianna?
Gianna!
[sombre music playing]
- [Thomas] Where's she going?
- Gianna, I was joking!
Mum won't have a heart attack!
[sobbing]
[music rewinds]
Yep.
You saw it right. That's my dad.
He grabbed happiness with two hands,
but without my mother.
[sobbing]
Can you please tell us what's going on?
[sniffles, exhales]
Take me home, please.
Oh, darling
[keys jangle]
- [Thomas] Okay.
- [Gianna] Are you Thomas?
- Yes, that's me.
- Leave her on the sofa.
Didi, it's only us!
Leave me here.
[Gianna] It's over.
What exactly got into you earlier?
First, you were laughing and joking
Then I didn't feel like joking any more.
- I noticed.
- Love is dead.
[laughs]
- Christmas is dead.
- [laughs]
You can go if you want.
- Didi's here if I need anything.
- I don't think Didi's here.
- I'm not leaving you on your own.
- [Gianna] No, Didi will come home now.
She never sleeps away from home.
Call her if you don't believe me.
[line ringing]
[phone vibrating]
[Mario sighs] What is it?
[exhales] Uh, my phone was ringing,
but I didn't pick it up in time.
'Cause we were sleeping.
We were asleep?
In each other's arms?
[relaxing music playing]
Um, well, sometimes these things happen.
I mean
- We were tired
- No, no, no, no, no.
It's just that these things
don't happen to me. I mean
I never actually sleep with a man.
Oh, me neither. I don't
[laughs] No, sorry.
Yeah.
Um, it was It was Gianna.
Maybe I should call her back.
Something might have happened maybe.
Hold on. Calm down. She'd have called back
right away if it was urgent.
No, sorry,
I think I'm going to go because I don't
No, no, no. Hold on.
It's nearly 2:00 in the morning.
The damage, it's already been done.
[relaxing music playing]
It's weird being together, isn't it?
["Edamame"
by BBNO$ (ft. Rich Brian) playing]
- Balls hanging low ♪
- [phone ringing]
Chain swinging, clang, clang
And it cost a lot ♪
Bitch, I'm always after guala, yeah
And you're not ♪
4 DAYS TILL CHRISTMAS
Whoa!
I'm a big bag hunter with the bow ♪
She a got a big bad dumper ♪
Go! Never ever fall for daddy
That's a no ♪
[groans]
- [keys jangling]
- Didi?
[Caterina] I'll put these here.
Didi's not here.
Um, I told her about Davide.
Oh, good. Hmm.
So she's already left,
and I didn't even hear her come in?
No, but you didn't even
hear the phone ringing.
Your father called you twice.
My dad?
Uh
Oh my goodness. There it is.
- Here.
- [Gianna laughs softly]
[Caterina] I got you something to eat too.
You need something
to soak up all that alcohol!
Beautiful.
And you need to forget
you saw Davide with another girl.
- [sighs]
- [Gianna] Um
Did my father say anything to you?
He wanted to know if you were awake.
He said he needs to talk to you.
Why? Did something happen?
He's probably worried
about the Nativity scene.
Oh! Well, if that's the reason,
tell him not to worry about it.
Mario and Didi have carried on
without you.
Oh, yeah, well,
everything carries on without me!
Even Christmas goes on without me.
They'll celebrate, like always,
without me because I'm single
and I'll be working.
- Gianna
- Like always. But it's better this way.
[heartfelt music playing]
Thank you. I'm going to get changed.
Okay. I'm off.
If Santa would heal all the ♪
What's that?
[gasps]
And to make me feel better ♪
He'll sing ♪
[man vocalising]
BASED ON HOME FOR CHRISTMAS
Does it break all the snow? ♪
It makes everything weak ♪
But I will ♪
Just like the snow ♪
[funky music playing]
I got, I got my style ♪
I got, I got my style ♪
And it's all right ♪
I got my style ♪
I got my style ♪
I got my style ♪
I got my style ♪
And it's all right ♪
And it's all right ♪
I got my style ♪
I got my style, my style ♪