In the Long Run (2018) s01e05 Episode Script

1 (MUSIC STARTS) "Dear Walter, In his last letter Valentine wrote about his recent courtship.
I trust she is a suitable choice and she's able to look after my little boy.
" He's 34 years old.
"Keep an eye on him.
Ensure he does not get too carried away.
" (SINGING) There's something about your love That makes me weaken Knocks me off my Feet I don't wanna bore you with it Oh, baby, I love you, I love you, I love you - I don't wanna bore you with it - (HE JOINS IN) Hey! Sing it boy! Baby, I love you, I love you, I love you More and more (THEME MUSIC) I'm in love! - Sh! - Dance with me.
Get off me, you fool.
Whoa! You OK? I cannot keep it in.
I have to tell her how I feel.
Get your greasy hair off my pillow.
Kirsty and Bagpipe are away this weekend.
- So we are looking after the children.
- Mm-hm.
I can't wait to give them a home-cooked meal.
Agnes! Grab a letter.
Tonight is the night I intend to tell Adelaide how I feel.
I was eating that, you bloody fool.
Don't you think it's a bit soon? How many dates have you been on? Six including the engagement party, so Ah-ah! tonight is lucky number seven.
Hm! Agh! Bloody idiot! Hey! Hey-hey! At last! My provisional licence is here.
Oh! Now you can take me on my driving test.
I didn't agree to that.
Yes, you did! You promised.
- Not in my car.
- Yes, in your car.
No, listen.
Why do you need to drive? You tell me where you want to go, I'll take you around like a queen.
Maybe this queen wants to drive you around.
Women don't drive men around, OK? Imagine if somebody from the factory was to see me driven by my queen.
You might as well cut off my bollocks! Hey, don't tempt me.
(HE SIGHS) This is the life, eh, Kirst? I feel sorry for those losers sleeping on the floor.
They haven't got our pull-out banquette.
No, you were right.
Life on the open road is much better in one of these beauties than being stuck in one place.
Well, it's not quite Paris, but it's better than that caravan you had in mind.
Static van, static! So what do you fancy doing? Well, we could go for a pint in the clubhouse.
Yeah, or get inside, shut the curtains.
What? And waste a lovely afternoon? It's supposed to be a romantic weekend.
Well, it it will be.
It will be romantic.
All right.
Let's go and get another bottle of wine, yeah, see what happens, have some fun, be open-minded, go with the flow.
Just like we said, yeah? - Er - Mm-hm? Yeah.
OK, now, put your foot on the clutch, put it into first.
- Into first.
- Ah-huh.
Check your mirrors.
Check 'em.
One, two, three.
OK, now, find your biting point.
Find my what? Ease off the clutch, foot on the gas until you start moving.
No, no, no.
You see, you did it too quickly.
OK.
Woman, what are you doing? You cannot start a car when it is in gear.
You did not say that.
OK, OK, I will try again.
Neutral Mm-hm.
OK.
Hey, hey! Hey! I'm driving! No, no, no.
Wait! Wait! - Turn that way.
- Stop shouting! - Let go! - Oh, you're going to hit something.
Why are you holding the wheel? This is why a woman should not drive a car.
Hey! You have no patience.
You don't even want me to learn to drive.
I don't wanna make you learn because I don't want you bang my motor car.
I'm not going to bang your motor car, you teach me properly.
Huh? - Nonsense! - You nonsense! - You nonsense! - Mum? - Heh? - Can we get out now? - Walking, get out of the car.
- Let me drive.
- Get out of the car - Let me get out (THEY LAUGH) So, um Do you have places like this in Sierra Leone? Like Harvester? No, we don't have mock Tudor mansions where Shakespeare once ate gammon.
Maybe jollof rice, but I think you've got the wrong idea about Harvester.
Really? That's what it says in the menu.
So, come on.
Tell me your plans.
Mm, you are starting to sound like Walter and Agnes.
Ouch! OK, OK.
I would like to have a house a car and a wife.
And a job? I have a job.
I'm a DJ.
Yeah, in a pub.
But I meant a career.
Mm, you are really starting to sound like Agnes.
I hope you're not related to her or me.
Can you imagine? That would not be good.
Come on, Valentine.
You're like nearly ten years older than me.
You must know what you want to do with your life.
I could do one of many things.
There are a lot of possibilities here in London.
And, as we say in Sierra Leone, if you don't know where you are going, any road will take you there.
- Hm? - Very wise.
- Shall we get the bill? - OK.
Can we get the bill, please? (KNOCK ON DOOR) Come in! Hello.
I am a handy man.
I understand you have a problem with your heater? That's right.
Oh, thanks so much for coming so quickly.
It's Ooh! Oh, I'm so cold.
Could really do with some warming up.
All right, I'll take a look.
- Yeah? - In here.
Oh.
It's quite an old model.
Have you thought about getting this replaced? When was the last time you had it serviced? I don't know.
But my husband might.
He's at work.
Oh, yeah? What does he do? Well he he works in a factory.
Can't get the pilot to light.
Have you had problems with this before? I don't know.
(HE SNIFFS) Can you smell that? Smell what? Yeah, it's definitely some sort of gassy pong.
My guess is the regulator.
I've got some tools in the cab.
Give you a hand if you like.
Come into my life, I've got so much love to show you Come into my life You really didn't have to escort me home.
It's miles out of your way.
Hey! What kind of man would let a beautiful woman travel home alone? An English man.
(HE LAUGHS) Ooh! Beautiful, clever and funny.
You are too good to be true.
I'm not so sure about that.
Um Adelaide there's something I need to tell you.
Oh, boy! I love you.
I love you, Adelaide.
- I'm flattered, but - But you need time to think about it.
I can wait.
I'm very patient.
I can I know.
You're a really nice guy, Valentine, but we want different things.
I need to be with someone as ambitious as I am.
I'm sorry, Valentine, I just I don't think we're right for each other.
Bye, Valentine.
I only want to love you Let me in your life ( TEARS FOR FEARS: Everybody Wants To Rule The World) (MUSIC ON RADIO) I say look We speak Valentine are you OK? - I'm fine.
- Good.
Welcome to your life Valentine, you know I've been thinking.
I would like you to take me for my driving lesson today.
I don't think that is a good idea.
Oh! Are you busy? - No, but - Then it is settled.
Eh! You will take me for my driving lesson and Walter you will watch the children.
Huh? Hang on a while.
Hey, Aggie Aggie! Aggie! Aggie! This is nice, innit? Bagpipes what are we doing? It's supposed to be a romantic trip.
Ooh! Bagpipes! Is that a chiffchaff? Don't give a shit.
I'm worried about us.
I'm worried you don't find me attractive any more.
You know after everything.
Course I do.
OK.
Let's go and have sex right now behind that tree.
Fine.
Yeah? It's a bit Lady Chatterley, this, innit? Ooh, Mellors! Take me in the wood shed! All right, my lady.
I mean wood shed is a euphemism.
It's already quite unhygienic.
Oh! OK.
Oh, Kirst, stop.
- Stop! - What? There's quite a lot of men over there.
Oh, for fuck's sake! We'd better go and explain.
Bloody belt's still undone.
They didn't see anything anyway.
Er hello.
Me and my wife, we were just out for a walk and And what it was was It's a funny story.
Oh, were you looking for the show home? Yes, yes.
That's exactly what we were doing.
It's just up the road.
I can take you if you like.
Oh, we'd love that, wouldn't we? Come on then.
It's this way.
So I just want to turn here.
Just take it slow.
Push and pull.
- Push and pull.
- Push.
Hm, so How did it go last night? - How did you tell Adelaide? - It's over, it's done, finished.
It's probably for the best.
I did not think she was right for you.
Huh? I wish you had told me that before.
Change the gear.
She also said that I did not have enough ambition, that I need a proper job.
Maybe she is right.
I've been here three months and what do I have to show for it? Apart from my Jheri curl and a moustache.
Hey! What are you doing? You trying to kill me? Listen.
Never underestimate what you are doing.
Ah! This spoilt girl.
How can she tell you what ambition is? She was born here.
She has no idea how hard it is to leave your country, move to England and start a new life.
How many Africans do you know who have big, big, big degrees and are cleaning toilets? Huh? What you are doing feels hard because it is hard.
My first week here, I had to run home because some white boys were throwing stones at me.
- Huh! - Idiots! It was so tough.
Agh! We suffered.
But we stayed.
Why? Because you are both too stubborn to admit you made a mistake? No! Because there are opportunities here that you can't get back in Sierra Leone that Kobna won't get.
We have a nice life here.
And you will too.
Mark it.
And Adelaide, hey! She can go and please herself somewhere.
Agh! You should stick her to the wall.
Three, two, one Dad, the cars won't work.
Let me see.
I can fix cars.
Oh, you got this thing Dad, how come you can drive but Mum can't? Well, I had further to travel for university and demonstrations, you know? - Like Nelson Mandela? - No, I was no Nelson Mandela, but I had to stand up for what I believed in.
Can you teach me? (HE LAUGHS) Son, you cannot be taught to fight for what you believe in.
It's something you are born with, boy.
It's in your heart.
I meant can you teach me how to drive? Oh, yeah, of course.
I can teach you how to drive.
- Just not in my car.
- Oh! I need a screwdriver.
Hey! - Ma! - Coo-coo-coo-coo! So is this a real fire? Yeah, yeah.
Well, real gas flame-effect.
Could you give us a minute? Yeah.
Yeah, no problem.
I'll just be outside.
What are we doin' here, Bagpipes? Bloody hell! Look at this beauty.
Is this really for us? It's got an attached garage, Kirst.
I mean this is the dream, isn't it? Oh, yeah, I suppose.
Think about it.
Kids playing in the garden, me tinkering in the garage, you cooking up a storm on the country-style kitchen.
It's what we deserve.
No, it's it's what you deserve.
God! We'll be like one of them families where people take off their shoes before they come in.
Too bloody right.
I don't want people treading their shit from outside on my cream carpets.
I love you, you know.
Well, good.
I I Er Well, hurry up before that bloke comes back in.
I I love you and this house.
I love you in this house.
Oh, hello! Maybe we should buy a house every day then.
Just excited about the real flame-effect gas fire.
Let's go and tell him, then, that we'll have it.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
All right.
Actually, give me a minute.
(THEY LAUGH) Oh! I hope my car survived.
Your car is fine, which is more than I can say for the children.
- Where is Melissa? - Oh, she's in the bath.
Hey? On her own? Alright, get lost! This way we can save the hot water for the dishes later.
Hey! What are you laughing at? - Did you enjoy your camping trip? - A-one, mate.
A-one.
There you go.
We also stumbled over this.
Oh, what's this? It's our new house.
You're moving? Since when? Well, since today.
It's a fresh start for me and Kirsty.
And the kids.
You wouldn't believe how much further your money goes out of London.
- To Essex? - Yeah.
Well, I mean you could too.
Imagine it! A little bit of Paradise just off the Chelmsford bypass.
Congratulations.
I think you and Kirsty will be very happy.
Yeah, well.
I mean the kids will miss each other, won't they? Yeah.
And Agnes and Kirsty will miss each other, you know.
Yeah.
They'll never be off the phone to each other.
It'll probably cost more than a mortgage.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, and I'll miss this This.
You'll miss this place.
This place, yeah, exactly.
I'll miss this place.
Yeah.
Since you've been gone I've never been the same Telling you, best weekend ever.
- So you talked? - We didn't go that far but We're in a better place, better than we've been in ages.
Oh, Agnes! She looks so cute! You've got to show me how to do this.
Cane rows will take a while to master, but this I did in two minutes.
What do you think? (HE LAUGHS) Um I think you should stick to afro hair.
Yeah.
It's nice! "Dear Mama, I'm sorry to report that Valentine is no longer with Adelaide.
But I think it has made him reflect on what he wants to achieve in life.
I'm enclosing £7.
56 for the new pair of sneakers that" Hey! See you later, brother.
See you later.
You know what time it is.
- Where are you going? - Out.
I miss Adelaide.
Ah, come on, man.
Tell me you are not going to see this woman.
No, no, no.
It's ladies' night at the Four Diamonds.
- I want to fall in love again.
- OK, man, don't do that.
- I got to go.
- I'm coming with you! Hey, where do you think you're going? - Oh.
- Oh! - Mm.
- Mm-hm.
I promise you, you go out there I will lock the door, I will chain the door No need.
- I will change the locks myself.
- I'm staying here.
- Come to bed.
- Mm-hm.
- Now.
- Mm-hm.
Yes, now? - Now? - Now! I'm ready.
- I'm just finishing my letter.
- I'm going to sleep then.
- OK.
- I'm not waiting.
I'm going out.
- Hah? - Hah! Oh, yes, it's ladies' night And the feeling's right Oh, yes, it's ladies' night Oh, what a night Oh, yes, it's ladies' night And the feeling's right Oh, yes, it's ladies' night Oh, what a night Romantic lady, single baby