Justice League Action (2016) s01e05 Episode Script
Follow that Space Cab
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING) CABBIE: Well, this day was a wash.
Ten hour shift, all for one fare between Tamaran and Korugar.
I think I'll drop by Elle's Diner, flirt with Darlene, and call it a Huh? Woah! Woah, woah, woah, woah, woah! (ALARM BEEPING) - What's Su Superman? - (GROANING) Hey you're, you're Superman, I Wow! Superman in my space cab! - Drive.
- Yes sir! Where to? Away from them.
Can't believe you took Superman out with one zap, Lobo.
Yeah, Jonas, I always pack a red sun power blaster just for old Blue Boy.
- (METER DINGS) - (ENGINE REVVING) In addition to everything else, you got Lobo after you? I kind of took out a loan from Boss Kack, the gangster, to finance my last conquest.
You welched on the loan.
If by "welched" you mean trying to blow up Kack when he came looking for his money, yes Yes, I did.
Radio.
Kind of an awkward time to listen to music, don't you think? Oh, that radio.
Superman to Justice League, looks like I'll need backup after all.
That's okay, Mr.
Superman, you rest easy.
I've never lost a passenger yet.
(LOUD RATTLING) Watch out, you clumsy hack! Another jolt and I'll have your license! So, why do you have him again? This intergalactic terrorist was found guilty by the galactic court.
It's my job to escort him to Justice League headquarters where he belongs.
Space Cabbie! Sup, my brother! What's say you hand over Supes and the worm and we'll cut you in for a sweet taste of our reward.
I'm sorry, Mr.
Lobo, I can't do that.
I, as a loyal employee of the Nine Planet Taxi Company, I'm in charge of the comfort and safety of my Oh! Skates! No one makes a chump out of the main man! (YELLING) No one! Incoming! (ELECTRICITY CRACKLING) - MR.
MIND: What happened? - Lobo's negative ion grenade, it shorted out my cab's power core! Excellent shot, Bo, now all we gotta do is turn the worm over to Boss Kack and share that fat reward.
Woah, Jonas.
That blast must have fried your brains, bro! Huh? Yeah, you're using a lot of alien words I've never heard before, like "we" and "share.
" Why, you dirty little (GRUNTING) Yeah, you better "unlax" a while.
And don't worry! I'll take care of the reward.
That's a word I understand.
(ENGINE REVVING) You double crossing weasel, you beat me to the punch! (CHUCKLES) Hey, taxi! (SCREAMS) (GRUNTS) (GRUNTS) What hit me? A chicken nugget? I'm actually fighting a king sized, walking chicken nugget! You've interfered with Justice League business.
Leave this area now.
Listen, foghorn, you're going to have to (GRUNTS) Okay.
All right.
Big bird's got some game! But the main man plays dirty.
(GRUNTS) (WHISTLES) (GRUNTS) Figures you're from Thanagar.
Biggest stiffs in the galaxy! - Never met one who could fight - (ENGINE REVVING) or fly! Lobo's taking off! Well that's a break for us.
Lobo never leaves without his bounty.
He's leading Hawkman into a trap.
Maybe if I focus hard enough, I He's heading for that abandoned anthracite mine.
Cabbie, we've got to stop that ambush.
I'll break out the jack.
LOBO: Yeah! Looking for me? (LAUGHING, YELLS) (GRUNTS) I like my chicken extra crispy.
I thought you were down for the count! Your red sun energy blaster may drain me, Lobo, but yellow sun recharges me.
Oh.
(LOBO SCREAMING) (LOBO GRUNTING) Give it to him, Superman.
Smash him, Hawkman.
Oh, skates, nobody fights better than Huh? Where'd he go? (GRUNTING) Hmm, transwarp drive with a triple fusion power core.
Very nice.
I'll just rewire this heap to blow up and take those witless heroes with it.
(ELECTRICITY CRACKLING) (GRUNTING) (ELECTRICITY CRACKLING) Ah! CABBIE: Come out of there! (CABBIE GRUNTING) (GRUNTS) - (BLADES WHIRRING) - (CABBIE SCREAMING) MR.
MIND: You pathetic hack! You're no match for the magnificent Mr.
Mind! Mr.
Mind? The Mr.
Mind? MR.
MIND: Is there another? The Mr.
Mind who fought the Justice League to a standstill? - The same.
- Mr.
Mind, the ruthless evil intergalactic villain? MR.
MIND: I prefer visionary iconoclast, but all right.
Mr.
Mind, sir, I've had a lot of celebrities in my cab but never anyone of your stature.
I'd think not.
It would mean the galaxy to me if I could just get a picture of us together.
It's for my collection here.
No.
Please? Oh, very well! But don't touch me.
Ah! My eyes! CABBIE: Gotcha! MR.
MIND: Treachery! (BOTH SCREAMING) (GROANS) Huh? Oh.
(GRUNTS) Ow.
Guys, lay off and I'll split the reward with you.
LOBO: I kind of mean it this time.
(SCREAMING) (SCREAMING) (SCREAMING) Ew! I got some Mind on me! Oh, I may throw up.
(SQUELCHING) Just enough proof to collect the reward.
Ha! Here Supes, I said I'd split it with you! Well! It's been a party! (WHISTLES) See ya, Supes! Cab man! Captain Cluck Cluck! (IMITATING CHICKEN) Oh man, I never thought you guys would come in second to that creep.
(SLURPING) So, Kack, old boy.
You happy? I have the readout on the squashed cells.
It's Mind's DNA all right, but where's the rest of him? I left his butt back with Super Dupe.
What's the diff? You got the best half.
Now pay up.
(SNAPPING FINGER) Mr.
Lobo, didn't anyone ever tell you about worms? Ha! Those blockhead heroes.
Don't they know we worms are built for regeneration? SUPERMAN: Yes, we did know that.
Darn.
I hate everybody.
We owe you big time, Cabbie.
Yeah.
Speaking of owing, my meter was running the whole time and my cab was totaled and this is my job, so I don't seem to have any cash on me, uh I plucked this piece of anthracite out of my wings earlier.
- Perhaps - SUPERMAN: Coal.
Perfect.
(CRUMBLING) I think this will cover everything.
(WHISTLES AND LAUGHS) That'll do.
Actually, there's one more thing (CAMERA CLICKS) (THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
Ten hour shift, all for one fare between Tamaran and Korugar.
I think I'll drop by Elle's Diner, flirt with Darlene, and call it a Huh? Woah! Woah, woah, woah, woah, woah! (ALARM BEEPING) - What's Su Superman? - (GROANING) Hey you're, you're Superman, I Wow! Superman in my space cab! - Drive.
- Yes sir! Where to? Away from them.
Can't believe you took Superman out with one zap, Lobo.
Yeah, Jonas, I always pack a red sun power blaster just for old Blue Boy.
- (METER DINGS) - (ENGINE REVVING) In addition to everything else, you got Lobo after you? I kind of took out a loan from Boss Kack, the gangster, to finance my last conquest.
You welched on the loan.
If by "welched" you mean trying to blow up Kack when he came looking for his money, yes Yes, I did.
Radio.
Kind of an awkward time to listen to music, don't you think? Oh, that radio.
Superman to Justice League, looks like I'll need backup after all.
That's okay, Mr.
Superman, you rest easy.
I've never lost a passenger yet.
(LOUD RATTLING) Watch out, you clumsy hack! Another jolt and I'll have your license! So, why do you have him again? This intergalactic terrorist was found guilty by the galactic court.
It's my job to escort him to Justice League headquarters where he belongs.
Space Cabbie! Sup, my brother! What's say you hand over Supes and the worm and we'll cut you in for a sweet taste of our reward.
I'm sorry, Mr.
Lobo, I can't do that.
I, as a loyal employee of the Nine Planet Taxi Company, I'm in charge of the comfort and safety of my Oh! Skates! No one makes a chump out of the main man! (YELLING) No one! Incoming! (ELECTRICITY CRACKLING) - MR.
MIND: What happened? - Lobo's negative ion grenade, it shorted out my cab's power core! Excellent shot, Bo, now all we gotta do is turn the worm over to Boss Kack and share that fat reward.
Woah, Jonas.
That blast must have fried your brains, bro! Huh? Yeah, you're using a lot of alien words I've never heard before, like "we" and "share.
" Why, you dirty little (GRUNTING) Yeah, you better "unlax" a while.
And don't worry! I'll take care of the reward.
That's a word I understand.
(ENGINE REVVING) You double crossing weasel, you beat me to the punch! (CHUCKLES) Hey, taxi! (SCREAMS) (GRUNTS) (GRUNTS) What hit me? A chicken nugget? I'm actually fighting a king sized, walking chicken nugget! You've interfered with Justice League business.
Leave this area now.
Listen, foghorn, you're going to have to (GRUNTS) Okay.
All right.
Big bird's got some game! But the main man plays dirty.
(GRUNTS) (WHISTLES) (GRUNTS) Figures you're from Thanagar.
Biggest stiffs in the galaxy! - Never met one who could fight - (ENGINE REVVING) or fly! Lobo's taking off! Well that's a break for us.
Lobo never leaves without his bounty.
He's leading Hawkman into a trap.
Maybe if I focus hard enough, I He's heading for that abandoned anthracite mine.
Cabbie, we've got to stop that ambush.
I'll break out the jack.
LOBO: Yeah! Looking for me? (LAUGHING, YELLS) (GRUNTS) I like my chicken extra crispy.
I thought you were down for the count! Your red sun energy blaster may drain me, Lobo, but yellow sun recharges me.
Oh.
(LOBO SCREAMING) (LOBO GRUNTING) Give it to him, Superman.
Smash him, Hawkman.
Oh, skates, nobody fights better than Huh? Where'd he go? (GRUNTING) Hmm, transwarp drive with a triple fusion power core.
Very nice.
I'll just rewire this heap to blow up and take those witless heroes with it.
(ELECTRICITY CRACKLING) (GRUNTING) (ELECTRICITY CRACKLING) Ah! CABBIE: Come out of there! (CABBIE GRUNTING) (GRUNTS) - (BLADES WHIRRING) - (CABBIE SCREAMING) MR.
MIND: You pathetic hack! You're no match for the magnificent Mr.
Mind! Mr.
Mind? The Mr.
Mind? MR.
MIND: Is there another? The Mr.
Mind who fought the Justice League to a standstill? - The same.
- Mr.
Mind, the ruthless evil intergalactic villain? MR.
MIND: I prefer visionary iconoclast, but all right.
Mr.
Mind, sir, I've had a lot of celebrities in my cab but never anyone of your stature.
I'd think not.
It would mean the galaxy to me if I could just get a picture of us together.
It's for my collection here.
No.
Please? Oh, very well! But don't touch me.
Ah! My eyes! CABBIE: Gotcha! MR.
MIND: Treachery! (BOTH SCREAMING) (GROANS) Huh? Oh.
(GRUNTS) Ow.
Guys, lay off and I'll split the reward with you.
LOBO: I kind of mean it this time.
(SCREAMING) (SCREAMING) (SCREAMING) Ew! I got some Mind on me! Oh, I may throw up.
(SQUELCHING) Just enough proof to collect the reward.
Ha! Here Supes, I said I'd split it with you! Well! It's been a party! (WHISTLES) See ya, Supes! Cab man! Captain Cluck Cluck! (IMITATING CHICKEN) Oh man, I never thought you guys would come in second to that creep.
(SLURPING) So, Kack, old boy.
You happy? I have the readout on the squashed cells.
It's Mind's DNA all right, but where's the rest of him? I left his butt back with Super Dupe.
What's the diff? You got the best half.
Now pay up.
(SNAPPING FINGER) Mr.
Lobo, didn't anyone ever tell you about worms? Ha! Those blockhead heroes.
Don't they know we worms are built for regeneration? SUPERMAN: Yes, we did know that.
Darn.
I hate everybody.
We owe you big time, Cabbie.
Yeah.
Speaking of owing, my meter was running the whole time and my cab was totaled and this is my job, so I don't seem to have any cash on me, uh I plucked this piece of anthracite out of my wings earlier.
- Perhaps - SUPERMAN: Coal.
Perfect.
(CRUMBLING) I think this will cover everything.
(WHISTLES AND LAUGHS) That'll do.
Actually, there's one more thing (CAMERA CLICKS) (THEME MUSIC PLAYING)