Keep Your Hands Off Eizouken! (2020) s01e05 Episode Script
An Iron Giant Appears!
1
Wh-What the heck is this?!
Tsubame, I'm a huge fan!
Hey! Thanks for your support.
I'm rooting for you!
Whoa Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Asakusa?!
I found a robot!
A robot?!
It was under a sheet, but the
shape was a giant robot.
I could tell where the head and shoulders were!
Something is definitely going on in this school!
Let's go! I wanna see it, too!
Mizusaki, it's a bad idea to just waltz in.
I don't see anything.
Huh It's gone.
Iron Giant Left Side
"Iron Giant—"
There's a bunch of robot books over here!
Science
Shibahama Industrial
Introduction to Robotics
Constructing Heavy Machinery
Wait.
Look at the floor. These are robot footprints!
Who are you two?!
Out the window we go!
Mizusaki's down
Mysterious pursuers, a missing robot
And Mizusaki, who has been captured!
I had thought this was going
to be giant robot sci-fi,
but now it's got the scent
of robot crime instead.
The left side of the iron giant
It's bigger than I thought!
It really is giant robot sci-fi!
Lost Shibahama Civilization
A unique brand of shamanism that developed into a peculiar scientific culture (maybe)
A robot
The exterior doesn't
lock the joints in
a particular position
Drive system pipes
"archaco technology" details the advanced ancient civilization that existed in Anadoro (present day Shibahama) which had a tradition of worshiping humanoid robots
Though not designed for combat,
its size and strength would
make it quite formidable.
It's defenses were
extremely weak.
The metal is the color
of brass.
A lost civilization existed
in ancient Shibahama! Maybe.
Ancient Anadoro writing
Joints
This is a kind of
pronunciation key
Shaky joints
are the fate
of all robots
with
exoskeletons!
Six fingers
Doesn't open
in the front
Inuit snow goggles
These are heels
Joints with exposed open
spaces on both sides make
it seem vaguely biological.
Do those mysterious footprints point
to the existence of a giant robot?!
Hydraulics
Hold the drawstring
What kind of robot would
make sense at a school?
Mysterious Footprints!!
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h Does the Giant Robot Really Exist?
From the "Exploring Shibahama" Series
Slacks type
Human body type
Gaiter type
Mechanical type
Not the most practical
Beauty of form!
Kneecap armor
Imagining the rest
of the body based
on the footprint
isn't impossible,
but
Gaiter
Indicative
of a
particular
designer
Speculating on the torso
based on the legs.
The Asakusa Expedition Series:
When the form resembles a
living creature, it comes across
as kind of monstrous and scary
The mechanical-type's strengths are clear
from it's speed and horsepower. Uses weapons primarily
in battle, but also has a force field.
A bad fit for school!
"Speculating on the Whole Body
Based on the Footprint."
Trapezoid
aperture.
Sword
The slacks-type is a robot with a natural outline, and it's hard
to predict its capabilities.
It's kind of scary so I
wouldn't want it showing up
at school!
There's also cases where it will purge it's armor to reveal a more biological-looking core body.
Has lots of
jetpacks
Joints snap shut like a jaw.
The robot!
Something about how plain it looks
makes it more realistic, and scary.
Like, it'd barely be able to walk. It's so blocky!
And it's got an action camera for an eye!
Weapons development is behind schedule.
Kanamori?!
Would this really be able to kill them?
We're not bloodthirsty.
Suppression is good enough.
So
No weapons, then?
Mizusaki!
She's been brainwashed
I can't believe they got her!
It's now clear that 66%
of the Eizouken's members
are involved with this giant robot!
But wait the way things are going,
the two of them being bad
guys could be a red herring,
when in reality, I'm the real
bad guy! And I have amnesia!
It can shoot a rocket from its arm.
Nice. Can you fire it?
No, not here. It'd be too dangerous.
Hey, it hit somebody!
Wait, Asakusa?
Aw, shoot! Someone get a towel!
As usual, she has incredible timing.
What the heck is that thing?
This is Talos.
A giant model robot that's been passed
down through the robot club's history,
and although it's undergone modifications,
it dates back over 100 years!
The robot club's roots can be
traced back to the late 1800s,
before anyone knew what a "robot" was,
with a collection of individuals
who studied French culture,
and were fascinated with "The Future Eve."
With the dawn of the 1900s, Japan created
Asia's first robot, Gakutensoku,
which led to a shift in the
group's focus to giant robots.
And after basing their first model
on the robot from 1952's
The King and the Mockingbird,
it's continued to be modified
To this very day!
They've just been changing the head—
Don't!
What are you two doing here, anyway?
They're hiring us to make an
anime based on this robot.
Robot! Anime! Fun
Wait, what's the catch?
If nothing else, we'll be getting paid.
You're such a money-grubber!
Bam!
You accept money in order to
accept responsibility for a job!
Pay exists to ensure a
quality standard for labor.
If we're accepting money for this job,
it means we have an obligation
to deliver to a certain standard.
Which sounds more wholesome:
accepting money for something
and being responsible for it,
or not getting paid and not
caring how it turns out?
Yeah, but wouldn't not
having to worry about money
and just making anime be the best?
I was thinking that!
Absolutely not!
It's 3.5 meters in height,
weighs 4.7 tons, and can
move at up to 70 km/h
That's fast Wait, this thing can run?!
Nah, that ain't happening.
It's got no power source.
It says they want it to fight a giant monster.
I don't see how it can be all that giant.
I mean three meters is pretty big!
Building-sized giant monsters are unrealistic!
I dunno about buildings, but a
giraffe is taller than this thing.
If the monster is only three meters tall,
wouldn't a heavy machine gun do the job?
Shooting in the middle of
the city is too dangerous,
so they need the robot to take it down!
Wouldn't ramming it with a truck be easier?
It says that the monster has a heat attack.
Okay, now that is unrealistic!
Maybe a fire-breathing giraffe
I'd like to get a broad estimate on the budget,
No, it could be a rhino that threatens
to burn the whole city down.
so I can break down the time frame
and the work hours involved.
Like how the Asian bombardier beetle can
emit a gas that's over 100 degrees Celsius.
Seriously?
You'd need a machine gun for sure.
Y'know, "massive frontal profile"
It'll also help with my analysis,
which is already under way,
is basically giant humanoid
robots in a nutshell.
and knowing exactly how much
more I need to figure out.
Having an opening in the front
would be like an exposed weakness,
so wouldn't it make more sense
for the hatch to be on the back?
These
girls
are
annoying!
Episode 5 An Iron Giant Appears!
Keep
Your
Hands
Off
Keep Your Hands Off Eizouken!
Keep Your Hands Off Eizouken!
Is this it?
Seems like it.
Man, it goes so far down!
This underground pit is supposed
to predate the school's construction.
Why, exactly?
They built it beforehand to make it easier
to maintain pipes and the like.
This is absolutely the kind of
place a creature would pop up!
Are you scared, Asakusa?
All right, let's start scouting the location
for our robot-versus-monster battle!
But I don't like being scared!
You're the one who wanted to
stage the battle down here.
And we're already stuck.
It's rusted shut.
I think I've got some oil
Scared
Well, it didn't open! Let's leave!
There's no such thing as
a door that doesn't open.
A door's whole job is opening.
So do your damn job!
Classic Kanamori! She can even get
inanimate objects to fall in line.
Considering this isn't live action,
is location scouting really necessary?
Experience makes a difference.
For the record, I'm not here
to play explorer with you two.
It helps stoke
the imagination.
Seems pretty haunted down here, huh?
Asakusa's Anti-Poltergeist Loadout
Hey, it's those shoes for kids
that light up when you walk!
We're looking for monsters,
not ghosts! Get serious!
Oh, I'm sorry! What else do
you have in that bag, Asakusa?
I'm not saying!
Would you two please focus on this?
We're going to have the spotlight
at the culture festival.
You didn't mention that!
The theme this year is robots, so the
robot club will be the big stars.
We're doing a promotional video for them,
which will be good for us, too.
That's a pretty big spotlight!
I'd settle for a desk lamp.
I've always preferred quiet places,
away from the lights.
I thought you were afraid of the dark.
If you want people to appreciate your work,
it needs to see the light of day.
Isn't that the exact opposite
of what we're doing right now?!
And for the record, dark places
don't bother me. Creepy ones do!
Those boards are gonna break!
Walk along the walls!
It'll be fine.
But they sound so dull. And soft.
They're rotten!
If there's a big hole underneath, we'll be dead!
It looks like there's more space up ahead.
Fantastic! This place is perfect!
You're taking pictures too, Mizusaki?
Of course I am!
There's background animation to consider,
and the setting influences the movement!
Like that beam that looks
like it could collapse!
What exactly are you doing?
Picturing the in-frame imagery, I bet.
That looks an awful lot like screwing around.
Well, it kind of is.
We're making something fun.
It's better to get out in the world
than stare at a blank sheet of paper.
Locations like this feed your imagination.
The things you experience
personally lead to originality.
Do you follow?
Over your fear of the dark now?
I forgot until you reminded me.
Asakusa!
Come here for a sec!
Whatcha want?
I want the monster to blast out of here!
From water?
Yeah.
From out of the mist it appears
A giant pistol crabtle!
Is that the right size?
It's a giant monster with
an arm like a pistol shrimp,
A Turtle x Crab
Monster That Has
the Claw of a
Pistol Shrimp!
Weight:
Height:
Length:
Has no tail
Pistol Crabtle:
Combines Crab and
"tle" from turtle"
The shell's thickness can change
over time. Used defensively,
but also helps with thermoregulation.
Crab liver
Crab intestines
Crab stomach
The crabtle has two arms and four legs.
These legs are supporting a body
that weighs over six tons.
Crab vision:
Not particularly
good or bad
Legs are covered in scales
that resembles both a crab and a turtle.
By locking its open claw, flexing,
and then releasing the lock,
Bam!
This part is flexible
Locks it's open claw, builds up it's strength,
and releases the lock to slam it shut,
causing a shockwave.
Can defeat an African elephant in an instant.
Is more dangerous in the water.
the claws snap shut with a ton of force,
causing a powerful shock wave!
It likes to eat Japanese alders
that grow in wetlands.
Likes to eat Japanese alders that grow in wetlands
What it looks like when eating
Closes with over one ton of force,
but its opening strength isn't remarkable. Like a crocodile's jaws.
Omnivorous; will eat wood,
aquatic plants, and algae.
Here it's eating water
chestnuts. Will not eat
them when they are
still covered in spines.
They're generally pretty docile,
and in the old days,
Their relatively docile nature meant
that, in the old days, people who
lived in the wetlands used them
for trade and land development.
they helped the people of the wetlands
with trade and land development!
That sounds more like livestock.
It's endearing, though.
Couldn't you turn it into roast crab
with a flamethrower, even without a robot?
You're going to set the robot club off again.
Asakusa, sometimes your focus on
realism can be pretty harsh on fiction.
Facing it will be our robot!
What should its weapon be?
How about fighting with a chainsaw?
Do you know how much work
those teeth are to draw?!
You can't tell them apart when
it's spinning, so it's fine.
The handle!
A recoil starter!
The pistol crab's special attack
is the massive shock wave
generated when it unlocks
its claw after flexing!
That's kind of like a forehead flick.
So the robot digs into the
ground with the chainsaw
And uses it to move faster!
That's really intense! It seems super strong!
Let's head back!
You're just scared, aren't you?!
Asakusa—
Hang on, don't push!
We fell!
I noticed.
This is why I said to walk along the walls!
We're lucky these leaves were here.
And it's nice and warm.
Let's calm down and call for―
No reception.
This place was used to dump leaves.
And it's warm because the
leaves are fermenting!
Which means there's gas everywhere
If we stay here for too long, we'll die!
Dead
At times like this
You take out your rope,
take a sock off,
put your Swiss army knife in the sock,
tie it to the rope, and throw it!
Take out your collapsible shovel,
pile up the leaves and dirt in one spot,
to get some height
And escape!
Holy cow.
That's just who she is.
Now that we've got our
suggestions for the setting,
it's time for a meeting with the robot club.
Did you get a haircut, Kanamori?
I did.
Girls, this is our first paid job!
We'll need game faces on in there!
I didn't know you could be so motivational.
She's awkward in conversations,
so she tries to sound quirky
as an emotional defense.
Are you trying to make me more defensive?!
The deal is basically done already,
so the presentation should
be a piece of cake.
We won't try to sell them
on our own suggestions,
but instead, choose one of
their suggestions to work on,
all while nudging things in
the direction we want to take.
Do you think they'll get mad again?
It's not an actual disagreement,
so as long as they think they're in charge,
it'll be a pretty smooth process.
But for the worst case scenario
It wouldn't hurt to have an advantage.
I'll put my feelers out for blackmail bait.
The eizouken is bad news!
They're nothing but trouble!
I heard them mention that nonsense
about frontal profiles myself!
There goes Ono, again.
Those girls don't even enjoy fictional robots!
The entire reason we wanted this anime made
was to secure funding for our new giant robot!
Yeah, but—
And who are we partnered with?!
The kind of plebs that would make an
anime about a robot losing to a tank!
Even though the entire point of giant
robots is that they're a fantasy!
Here! This is the plan I've put together
to keep the eizouken under control!
When did you have time to make this?
Take Down the Eizouken
We need to think seriously
about one thing!
Our love for robots, which the
eizouken could never understand!
And the beauty of that love, and our ideology!
At this rate, we're going to be
responsible for a reprehensible anime,
with the eizouken cooking up
something full of homing lasers
Excuse us
Excuse us!
No response.
and sudden power ups, instead of realism!
He is being loud.
Ono
Wait, Ono!
Before you said the whole appeal
of giant robots is the fantasy!
Excuse us.
We're here.
Take Down the Eizouken
Before that unrealistic nonsense gets made,
Take Down the Eizouken
we need to find some advantage
over the eizouken!
Well, our client certainly
doesn't seem to trust us.
Forgive me
Such a lack of faith.
There have been times when this sort of
thing could get you executed, you know?
Take Down the Eizouken
I think I'll make a record
of this, for future use.
Take Down the Eizouken
Take Down the Eizouken
Kanamori is really good at negotiating.
I don't know if that's what I'd call it.
Your tea.
We've got our documents right here.
Right
Asakusa, you can show them the actual proposal.
Oh, right.
The idea is for it to take place on
the Shibahama High School campus.
All right
Next are the details on the giant monster.
A Turtle x Crab
Monster That Has
the Claw of a
Pistol Shrimp!
Weight:
Height:
Length:
Has no tail
Pistol Crabtle:
Combines Crab and
"tle" from turtle"
The shell's thickness can change over time. Is used defensively, but also helps with thermoregulation.
Crab liver
Crab intestines
Crab stomach
The crabtle has two arms
and four legs. These legs
are supporting a body
that weighs over six tons.
Crab vision:
Not particularly
good or bad
Legs are covered in scales
View from above
Is that a turtle?
I-It's a crabtle.
From combining crab and turtle crabtle.
It can generate shock waves with
its claws, and has a heat attack.
Underwater, it can create
cavitation by closing its claws,
which results in sonoluminescence,
the plasma from which reaches
a temperature of 5000 degrees Kelvin
And a pressure of 1000 millibars.
W-Whoa, isn't that a little extreme?
It's an ability taken from pistol shrimps,
which live in the Atlantic Ocean.
Since it's 507.3 times the size,
its abilities increase proportionately.
The robot sticks the chainsaw on its right arm
into the ground in order to move at high speeds.
This is great, Ono.
Doesn't sound like there are
any last minute power-ups,
but it's just fantastical enough that—
This is all wrong!
It can't have a flashy weapon like a chainsaw!
And it sounds like there's too much action!
I thought the robot club's goal was
preaching the merits of down-to-earth,
real robot aesthetics!
But real robots are more like
Not what I meant!
The big ones! That people pilot!
Then
Not that, either!
It has to be humanoid and piloted by someone!
And it fights!
Seeing someone stump for such a
typical contradiction is disheartening.
It needs to be realistic! Like in
real life! A real-life giant robot!
Realistically speaking, I thought it
was generally accepted that humanoid robots
exceeding a certain size
have really limited uses.
It's true that human-scale
ones could do more jobs.
They'd be more versatile, I guess.
It's frustrating, really.
Even when tanks stop being useful,
it won't mean bipedal robots being deployed.
They'll probably just make stronger tanks.
Yeah, realistically speaking,
they'd probably evacuate the town
Glass
Bottles
Fragile
and then bring out the tanks.
People who want to make robots
because of anime run into that fact
sooner or later
But what we're after has always been
the machines we've admired in movies,
manga, light novels, and anime.
Take Down the Eizouken
So it's reality that doesn't
care about humanoid robots.
Come to think of it, there are
fewer giant robot anime lately
Should I have not brought that up?
Yep.
I get it.
I know it's actually impossible!
I realize that it's probably impossible.
But I still want to pilot a robot, okay?!
So much I could die! Damn it!
"Anything one man can imagine,
another man can make real"?!
Screw whoever said that!
Even if it's possible, if it
doesn't happen during my lifetime,
then that Wells guy sold me a bill of goods!
What a huge
pain in the neck.
I can see it right now when I close my eyes
I wish I had blackmail material to speed this negotiation along.
And when I try to think about it
realistically, it becomes contradictory!
Take Down the Eizouken
I hate how it puts me in this place
where all I can do is dream!
I hate it so damn much!
I see now.
He's not making sense because he
can't visualize the finished product.
That makes him so anxious,
all he can manage is a passionate
plea full of incoherent ranting.
If we present a calm response,
it should calm him down
and make controlling them—
I wanna travel to the fringes of space!
I cry in the bath every night
about how big the universe is!
I try to do a Hadoken every night before bed!
You two are crying now?
I like to imagine I'm in a cockpit
when I'm on the toilet
Comrade!
Sudden harmony
I have huge problems with people who
solve problems with emotional appeals.
All right, let's modify this robot together!
You mentioned having the hatch
in the front would be a weakness,
and moving it to the back would help, right?
In the name of high adventure,
we're going to keep it in the front,
like your actual model Talos.
Plus
You can do a shot reverse shot
with the pilot and robot.
Like this
Which makes for a really cool
depiction of two pilots talking!
I'm not so sure.
I think having it open up
in front seems weaker, too.
But the back of a robot
has to look cool, too!
Okay, then.
In that case, we'll ditch the
rule of cool on the hatch,
and go for a safer choice.
She's got a tendency to only enjoy working
when there's some odd line
of reasoning into it.
Right here.
Let's make the entrance on the top.
That works.
Next up is the cockpit.
It's not a cockpit unless
it looks like this!
Analog-style instruments.
CRT monitors have good response time.
The main monitor seems to have
a pretty wide range of vision.
Is the camera in the mono-eye
really going to cut it?
Should we add more?
Cameras?
Let's change it.
Let's change the model and add some.
We'll add more, and different, cameras!
Copy that.
The kind of cameras and sensors that
robots use are usually along these lines.
So if we combine them
Cool!
Lame!
Okay, how about something like this?
Ta-dah!
It's got kind of a classic vibe.
Time to activate!
Are all these switches
actually helpful as controls?
It shows that the people making robot anime
ultimately put their faith in people!
I'm disengaging the break!
Starboard clear!
Port side clear!
All clear below!
We're rising up! Please brace yourselves!
Wasn't it standing already?
Time to go for it!
All at once?!
Oh man, I forgot seat belts!
Those are important!
We'll partially engage the clutch,
and then make our way up!
That's a lot of Gs!
Time to straighten up!
It It stood!
I want a pile bunker!
Okay!
It'd be a good idea to change
the body to match the face!
A hydraulic cutter! Snip!
We've come this far, let's go harder!
How about a drill?
A boom-mounted cutting head!
Is it a hole-digging robot now?!
This one, then!
Those bits are for wood!
Ah, you noticed.
You realize the robot club is a
technical club, right? Of course I did!
At least use one for metal!
It's already got a chainsaw!
We're gonna need more arms.
Can you even animate something
with all these add-ons?
Why not just remove the legs and make it fly?
That'd take the fun out of making it move!
But is it okay if we cover up the joints?
It's done!
Holy cow!
It looks totally different.
Isn't it kinda elaborate?
Are you sure you can animate this thing?
We ended up with a blue-collar robot!
But what'll happen next?!
Fluffy~
Gahaha!
Illustration by Eito Aika
Eito Aika
Wh-What the heck is this?!
Tsubame, I'm a huge fan!
Hey! Thanks for your support.
I'm rooting for you!
Whoa Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Asakusa?!
I found a robot!
A robot?!
It was under a sheet, but the
shape was a giant robot.
I could tell where the head and shoulders were!
Something is definitely going on in this school!
Let's go! I wanna see it, too!
Mizusaki, it's a bad idea to just waltz in.
I don't see anything.
Huh It's gone.
Iron Giant Left Side
"Iron Giant—"
There's a bunch of robot books over here!
Science
Shibahama Industrial
Introduction to Robotics
Constructing Heavy Machinery
Wait.
Look at the floor. These are robot footprints!
Who are you two?!
Out the window we go!
Mizusaki's down
Mysterious pursuers, a missing robot
And Mizusaki, who has been captured!
I had thought this was going
to be giant robot sci-fi,
but now it's got the scent
of robot crime instead.
The left side of the iron giant
It's bigger than I thought!
It really is giant robot sci-fi!
Lost Shibahama Civilization
A unique brand of shamanism that developed into a peculiar scientific culture (maybe)
A robot
The exterior doesn't
lock the joints in
a particular position
Drive system pipes
"archaco technology" details the advanced ancient civilization that existed in Anadoro (present day Shibahama) which had a tradition of worshiping humanoid robots
Though not designed for combat,
its size and strength would
make it quite formidable.
It's defenses were
extremely weak.
The metal is the color
of brass.
A lost civilization existed
in ancient Shibahama! Maybe.
Ancient Anadoro writing
Joints
This is a kind of
pronunciation key
Shaky joints
are the fate
of all robots
with
exoskeletons!
Six fingers
Doesn't open
in the front
Inuit snow goggles
These are heels
Joints with exposed open
spaces on both sides make
it seem vaguely biological.
Do those mysterious footprints point
to the existence of a giant robot?!
Hydraulics
Hold the drawstring
What kind of robot would
make sense at a school?
Mysterious Footprints!!
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h Does the Giant Robot Really Exist?
From the "Exploring Shibahama" Series
Slacks type
Human body type
Gaiter type
Mechanical type
Not the most practical
Beauty of form!
Kneecap armor
Imagining the rest
of the body based
on the footprint
isn't impossible,
but
Gaiter
Indicative
of a
particular
designer
Speculating on the torso
based on the legs.
The Asakusa Expedition Series:
When the form resembles a
living creature, it comes across
as kind of monstrous and scary
The mechanical-type's strengths are clear
from it's speed and horsepower. Uses weapons primarily
in battle, but also has a force field.
A bad fit for school!
"Speculating on the Whole Body
Based on the Footprint."
Trapezoid
aperture.
Sword
The slacks-type is a robot with a natural outline, and it's hard
to predict its capabilities.
It's kind of scary so I
wouldn't want it showing up
at school!
There's also cases where it will purge it's armor to reveal a more biological-looking core body.
Has lots of
jetpacks
Joints snap shut like a jaw.
The robot!
Something about how plain it looks
makes it more realistic, and scary.
Like, it'd barely be able to walk. It's so blocky!
And it's got an action camera for an eye!
Weapons development is behind schedule.
Kanamori?!
Would this really be able to kill them?
We're not bloodthirsty.
Suppression is good enough.
So
No weapons, then?
Mizusaki!
She's been brainwashed
I can't believe they got her!
It's now clear that 66%
of the Eizouken's members
are involved with this giant robot!
But wait the way things are going,
the two of them being bad
guys could be a red herring,
when in reality, I'm the real
bad guy! And I have amnesia!
It can shoot a rocket from its arm.
Nice. Can you fire it?
No, not here. It'd be too dangerous.
Hey, it hit somebody!
Wait, Asakusa?
Aw, shoot! Someone get a towel!
As usual, she has incredible timing.
What the heck is that thing?
This is Talos.
A giant model robot that's been passed
down through the robot club's history,
and although it's undergone modifications,
it dates back over 100 years!
The robot club's roots can be
traced back to the late 1800s,
before anyone knew what a "robot" was,
with a collection of individuals
who studied French culture,
and were fascinated with "The Future Eve."
With the dawn of the 1900s, Japan created
Asia's first robot, Gakutensoku,
which led to a shift in the
group's focus to giant robots.
And after basing their first model
on the robot from 1952's
The King and the Mockingbird,
it's continued to be modified
To this very day!
They've just been changing the head—
Don't!
What are you two doing here, anyway?
They're hiring us to make an
anime based on this robot.
Robot! Anime! Fun
Wait, what's the catch?
If nothing else, we'll be getting paid.
You're such a money-grubber!
Bam!
You accept money in order to
accept responsibility for a job!
Pay exists to ensure a
quality standard for labor.
If we're accepting money for this job,
it means we have an obligation
to deliver to a certain standard.
Which sounds more wholesome:
accepting money for something
and being responsible for it,
or not getting paid and not
caring how it turns out?
Yeah, but wouldn't not
having to worry about money
and just making anime be the best?
I was thinking that!
Absolutely not!
It's 3.5 meters in height,
weighs 4.7 tons, and can
move at up to 70 km/h
That's fast Wait, this thing can run?!
Nah, that ain't happening.
It's got no power source.
It says they want it to fight a giant monster.
I don't see how it can be all that giant.
I mean three meters is pretty big!
Building-sized giant monsters are unrealistic!
I dunno about buildings, but a
giraffe is taller than this thing.
If the monster is only three meters tall,
wouldn't a heavy machine gun do the job?
Shooting in the middle of
the city is too dangerous,
so they need the robot to take it down!
Wouldn't ramming it with a truck be easier?
It says that the monster has a heat attack.
Okay, now that is unrealistic!
Maybe a fire-breathing giraffe
I'd like to get a broad estimate on the budget,
No, it could be a rhino that threatens
to burn the whole city down.
so I can break down the time frame
and the work hours involved.
Like how the Asian bombardier beetle can
emit a gas that's over 100 degrees Celsius.
Seriously?
You'd need a machine gun for sure.
Y'know, "massive frontal profile"
It'll also help with my analysis,
which is already under way,
is basically giant humanoid
robots in a nutshell.
and knowing exactly how much
more I need to figure out.
Having an opening in the front
would be like an exposed weakness,
so wouldn't it make more sense
for the hatch to be on the back?
These
girls
are
annoying!
Episode 5 An Iron Giant Appears!
Keep
Your
Hands
Off
Keep Your Hands Off Eizouken!
Keep Your Hands Off Eizouken!
Is this it?
Seems like it.
Man, it goes so far down!
This underground pit is supposed
to predate the school's construction.
Why, exactly?
They built it beforehand to make it easier
to maintain pipes and the like.
This is absolutely the kind of
place a creature would pop up!
Are you scared, Asakusa?
All right, let's start scouting the location
for our robot-versus-monster battle!
But I don't like being scared!
You're the one who wanted to
stage the battle down here.
And we're already stuck.
It's rusted shut.
I think I've got some oil
Scared
Well, it didn't open! Let's leave!
There's no such thing as
a door that doesn't open.
A door's whole job is opening.
So do your damn job!
Classic Kanamori! She can even get
inanimate objects to fall in line.
Considering this isn't live action,
is location scouting really necessary?
Experience makes a difference.
For the record, I'm not here
to play explorer with you two.
It helps stoke
the imagination.
Seems pretty haunted down here, huh?
Asakusa's Anti-Poltergeist Loadout
Hey, it's those shoes for kids
that light up when you walk!
We're looking for monsters,
not ghosts! Get serious!
Oh, I'm sorry! What else do
you have in that bag, Asakusa?
I'm not saying!
Would you two please focus on this?
We're going to have the spotlight
at the culture festival.
You didn't mention that!
The theme this year is robots, so the
robot club will be the big stars.
We're doing a promotional video for them,
which will be good for us, too.
That's a pretty big spotlight!
I'd settle for a desk lamp.
I've always preferred quiet places,
away from the lights.
I thought you were afraid of the dark.
If you want people to appreciate your work,
it needs to see the light of day.
Isn't that the exact opposite
of what we're doing right now?!
And for the record, dark places
don't bother me. Creepy ones do!
Those boards are gonna break!
Walk along the walls!
It'll be fine.
But they sound so dull. And soft.
They're rotten!
If there's a big hole underneath, we'll be dead!
It looks like there's more space up ahead.
Fantastic! This place is perfect!
You're taking pictures too, Mizusaki?
Of course I am!
There's background animation to consider,
and the setting influences the movement!
Like that beam that looks
like it could collapse!
What exactly are you doing?
Picturing the in-frame imagery, I bet.
That looks an awful lot like screwing around.
Well, it kind of is.
We're making something fun.
It's better to get out in the world
than stare at a blank sheet of paper.
Locations like this feed your imagination.
The things you experience
personally lead to originality.
Do you follow?
Over your fear of the dark now?
I forgot until you reminded me.
Asakusa!
Come here for a sec!
Whatcha want?
I want the monster to blast out of here!
From water?
Yeah.
From out of the mist it appears
A giant pistol crabtle!
Is that the right size?
It's a giant monster with
an arm like a pistol shrimp,
A Turtle x Crab
Monster That Has
the Claw of a
Pistol Shrimp!
Weight:
Height:
Length:
Has no tail
Pistol Crabtle:
Combines Crab and
"tle" from turtle"
The shell's thickness can change
over time. Used defensively,
but also helps with thermoregulation.
Crab liver
Crab intestines
Crab stomach
The crabtle has two arms and four legs.
These legs are supporting a body
that weighs over six tons.
Crab vision:
Not particularly
good or bad
Legs are covered in scales
that resembles both a crab and a turtle.
By locking its open claw, flexing,
and then releasing the lock,
Bam!
This part is flexible
Locks it's open claw, builds up it's strength,
and releases the lock to slam it shut,
causing a shockwave.
Can defeat an African elephant in an instant.
Is more dangerous in the water.
the claws snap shut with a ton of force,
causing a powerful shock wave!
It likes to eat Japanese alders
that grow in wetlands.
Likes to eat Japanese alders that grow in wetlands
What it looks like when eating
Closes with over one ton of force,
but its opening strength isn't remarkable. Like a crocodile's jaws.
Omnivorous; will eat wood,
aquatic plants, and algae.
Here it's eating water
chestnuts. Will not eat
them when they are
still covered in spines.
They're generally pretty docile,
and in the old days,
Their relatively docile nature meant
that, in the old days, people who
lived in the wetlands used them
for trade and land development.
they helped the people of the wetlands
with trade and land development!
That sounds more like livestock.
It's endearing, though.
Couldn't you turn it into roast crab
with a flamethrower, even without a robot?
You're going to set the robot club off again.
Asakusa, sometimes your focus on
realism can be pretty harsh on fiction.
Facing it will be our robot!
What should its weapon be?
How about fighting with a chainsaw?
Do you know how much work
those teeth are to draw?!
You can't tell them apart when
it's spinning, so it's fine.
The handle!
A recoil starter!
The pistol crab's special attack
is the massive shock wave
generated when it unlocks
its claw after flexing!
That's kind of like a forehead flick.
So the robot digs into the
ground with the chainsaw
And uses it to move faster!
That's really intense! It seems super strong!
Let's head back!
You're just scared, aren't you?!
Asakusa—
Hang on, don't push!
We fell!
I noticed.
This is why I said to walk along the walls!
We're lucky these leaves were here.
And it's nice and warm.
Let's calm down and call for―
No reception.
This place was used to dump leaves.
And it's warm because the
leaves are fermenting!
Which means there's gas everywhere
If we stay here for too long, we'll die!
Dead
At times like this
You take out your rope,
take a sock off,
put your Swiss army knife in the sock,
tie it to the rope, and throw it!
Take out your collapsible shovel,
pile up the leaves and dirt in one spot,
to get some height
And escape!
Holy cow.
That's just who she is.
Now that we've got our
suggestions for the setting,
it's time for a meeting with the robot club.
Did you get a haircut, Kanamori?
I did.
Girls, this is our first paid job!
We'll need game faces on in there!
I didn't know you could be so motivational.
She's awkward in conversations,
so she tries to sound quirky
as an emotional defense.
Are you trying to make me more defensive?!
The deal is basically done already,
so the presentation should
be a piece of cake.
We won't try to sell them
on our own suggestions,
but instead, choose one of
their suggestions to work on,
all while nudging things in
the direction we want to take.
Do you think they'll get mad again?
It's not an actual disagreement,
so as long as they think they're in charge,
it'll be a pretty smooth process.
But for the worst case scenario
It wouldn't hurt to have an advantage.
I'll put my feelers out for blackmail bait.
The eizouken is bad news!
They're nothing but trouble!
I heard them mention that nonsense
about frontal profiles myself!
There goes Ono, again.
Those girls don't even enjoy fictional robots!
The entire reason we wanted this anime made
was to secure funding for our new giant robot!
Yeah, but—
And who are we partnered with?!
The kind of plebs that would make an
anime about a robot losing to a tank!
Even though the entire point of giant
robots is that they're a fantasy!
Here! This is the plan I've put together
to keep the eizouken under control!
When did you have time to make this?
Take Down the Eizouken
We need to think seriously
about one thing!
Our love for robots, which the
eizouken could never understand!
And the beauty of that love, and our ideology!
At this rate, we're going to be
responsible for a reprehensible anime,
with the eizouken cooking up
something full of homing lasers
Excuse us
Excuse us!
No response.
and sudden power ups, instead of realism!
He is being loud.
Ono
Wait, Ono!
Before you said the whole appeal
of giant robots is the fantasy!
Excuse us.
We're here.
Take Down the Eizouken
Before that unrealistic nonsense gets made,
Take Down the Eizouken
we need to find some advantage
over the eizouken!
Well, our client certainly
doesn't seem to trust us.
Forgive me
Such a lack of faith.
There have been times when this sort of
thing could get you executed, you know?
Take Down the Eizouken
I think I'll make a record
of this, for future use.
Take Down the Eizouken
Take Down the Eizouken
Kanamori is really good at negotiating.
I don't know if that's what I'd call it.
Your tea.
We've got our documents right here.
Right
Asakusa, you can show them the actual proposal.
Oh, right.
The idea is for it to take place on
the Shibahama High School campus.
All right
Next are the details on the giant monster.
A Turtle x Crab
Monster That Has
the Claw of a
Pistol Shrimp!
Weight:
Height:
Length:
Has no tail
Pistol Crabtle:
Combines Crab and
"tle" from turtle"
The shell's thickness can change over time. Is used defensively, but also helps with thermoregulation.
Crab liver
Crab intestines
Crab stomach
The crabtle has two arms
and four legs. These legs
are supporting a body
that weighs over six tons.
Crab vision:
Not particularly
good or bad
Legs are covered in scales
View from above
Is that a turtle?
I-It's a crabtle.
From combining crab and turtle crabtle.
It can generate shock waves with
its claws, and has a heat attack.
Underwater, it can create
cavitation by closing its claws,
which results in sonoluminescence,
the plasma from which reaches
a temperature of 5000 degrees Kelvin
And a pressure of 1000 millibars.
W-Whoa, isn't that a little extreme?
It's an ability taken from pistol shrimps,
which live in the Atlantic Ocean.
Since it's 507.3 times the size,
its abilities increase proportionately.
The robot sticks the chainsaw on its right arm
into the ground in order to move at high speeds.
This is great, Ono.
Doesn't sound like there are
any last minute power-ups,
but it's just fantastical enough that—
This is all wrong!
It can't have a flashy weapon like a chainsaw!
And it sounds like there's too much action!
I thought the robot club's goal was
preaching the merits of down-to-earth,
real robot aesthetics!
But real robots are more like
Not what I meant!
The big ones! That people pilot!
Then
Not that, either!
It has to be humanoid and piloted by someone!
And it fights!
Seeing someone stump for such a
typical contradiction is disheartening.
It needs to be realistic! Like in
real life! A real-life giant robot!
Realistically speaking, I thought it
was generally accepted that humanoid robots
exceeding a certain size
have really limited uses.
It's true that human-scale
ones could do more jobs.
They'd be more versatile, I guess.
It's frustrating, really.
Even when tanks stop being useful,
it won't mean bipedal robots being deployed.
They'll probably just make stronger tanks.
Yeah, realistically speaking,
they'd probably evacuate the town
Glass
Bottles
Fragile
and then bring out the tanks.
People who want to make robots
because of anime run into that fact
sooner or later
But what we're after has always been
the machines we've admired in movies,
manga, light novels, and anime.
Take Down the Eizouken
So it's reality that doesn't
care about humanoid robots.
Come to think of it, there are
fewer giant robot anime lately
Should I have not brought that up?
Yep.
I get it.
I know it's actually impossible!
I realize that it's probably impossible.
But I still want to pilot a robot, okay?!
So much I could die! Damn it!
"Anything one man can imagine,
another man can make real"?!
Screw whoever said that!
Even if it's possible, if it
doesn't happen during my lifetime,
then that Wells guy sold me a bill of goods!
What a huge
pain in the neck.
I can see it right now when I close my eyes
I wish I had blackmail material to speed this negotiation along.
And when I try to think about it
realistically, it becomes contradictory!
Take Down the Eizouken
I hate how it puts me in this place
where all I can do is dream!
I hate it so damn much!
I see now.
He's not making sense because he
can't visualize the finished product.
That makes him so anxious,
all he can manage is a passionate
plea full of incoherent ranting.
If we present a calm response,
it should calm him down
and make controlling them—
I wanna travel to the fringes of space!
I cry in the bath every night
about how big the universe is!
I try to do a Hadoken every night before bed!
You two are crying now?
I like to imagine I'm in a cockpit
when I'm on the toilet
Comrade!
Sudden harmony
I have huge problems with people who
solve problems with emotional appeals.
All right, let's modify this robot together!
You mentioned having the hatch
in the front would be a weakness,
and moving it to the back would help, right?
In the name of high adventure,
we're going to keep it in the front,
like your actual model Talos.
Plus
You can do a shot reverse shot
with the pilot and robot.
Like this
Which makes for a really cool
depiction of two pilots talking!
I'm not so sure.
I think having it open up
in front seems weaker, too.
But the back of a robot
has to look cool, too!
Okay, then.
In that case, we'll ditch the
rule of cool on the hatch,
and go for a safer choice.
She's got a tendency to only enjoy working
when there's some odd line
of reasoning into it.
Right here.
Let's make the entrance on the top.
That works.
Next up is the cockpit.
It's not a cockpit unless
it looks like this!
Analog-style instruments.
CRT monitors have good response time.
The main monitor seems to have
a pretty wide range of vision.
Is the camera in the mono-eye
really going to cut it?
Should we add more?
Cameras?
Let's change it.
Let's change the model and add some.
We'll add more, and different, cameras!
Copy that.
The kind of cameras and sensors that
robots use are usually along these lines.
So if we combine them
Cool!
Lame!
Okay, how about something like this?
Ta-dah!
It's got kind of a classic vibe.
Time to activate!
Are all these switches
actually helpful as controls?
It shows that the people making robot anime
ultimately put their faith in people!
I'm disengaging the break!
Starboard clear!
Port side clear!
All clear below!
We're rising up! Please brace yourselves!
Wasn't it standing already?
Time to go for it!
All at once?!
Oh man, I forgot seat belts!
Those are important!
We'll partially engage the clutch,
and then make our way up!
That's a lot of Gs!
Time to straighten up!
It It stood!
I want a pile bunker!
Okay!
It'd be a good idea to change
the body to match the face!
A hydraulic cutter! Snip!
We've come this far, let's go harder!
How about a drill?
A boom-mounted cutting head!
Is it a hole-digging robot now?!
This one, then!
Those bits are for wood!
Ah, you noticed.
You realize the robot club is a
technical club, right? Of course I did!
At least use one for metal!
It's already got a chainsaw!
We're gonna need more arms.
Can you even animate something
with all these add-ons?
Why not just remove the legs and make it fly?
That'd take the fun out of making it move!
But is it okay if we cover up the joints?
It's done!
Holy cow!
It looks totally different.
Isn't it kinda elaborate?
Are you sure you can animate this thing?
We ended up with a blue-collar robot!
But what'll happen next?!
Fluffy~
Gahaha!
Illustration by Eito Aika
Eito Aika