Kid Cosmic (2021) s01e05 Episode Script

[Kid] Woo-hoo!
[record player whirring]
[static crackles]
Oh, yeah, all right ♪
Come on everybody, listen up ♪
Ol' Man River, he's a-rolling along ♪
Happy all by himself ♪
But you and me, baby ♪
We like a good time ♪
With my friends, your friends
And everyone else ♪
So I'm picking up my telephone ♪
Calling everybody I know ♪
I said, "Hey, that's right
What y'all doing tonight?" ♪
Ready, steady… ♪
Yes! Finally!
Kid, I'm in too good a mood to tell you
that's rude and deprive you of food.
So, you're welcome.
You're right, Flo.
A true hero should know better.
Thanks!
Mom, the place is looking awesome!
Grandma Mo would be proud.
Aw, thanks, honey.
I think she'd be even prouder
if span style="style2"someone would finish fixing 
the neon sign like he promised.
Workin' on it, but I only got two hands.
[Kid laughs] Papa G!
You've got a million hands.
You could have that sign done in no time.
He means a million plans. He's right.
I take on too much.
If I focused on one,
I'd get done in no time.
That's what I said.
Thank you.
It'll be good for business.
Be nice to have some new visitors.
Oh, we've had some visitors.
And let me tell you, it wasn't so nice.
Kid, what are you doing?
I thought we didn't want anyone
knowing about our P-O-W-E-R-S.
[Rosa] Powers!
Yeah, about that.
I was thinking that maybe we do!
No, we don't!
Well, why, Kid?
So the town knows
they're safe from the evil aliens.
We agreed they're safer
span style="style2"not knowing about us.
They can't know about the aliens.
But I bet they'd feel even safer
if they knew I defeated
an entire robot army by myself!
[meowing]
What is it, boy?
Someone in danger? Is it evil aliens?
Not now. Shut that freaky eye.
You know how my mom would react
if she found out?
[screams] What the heck is that?!
-[snarls]
-[all yell]
-What do we do?!
-Have no fear! Kid Cos--
It's a gorilla!
-[snarls]
-[all yell]
Wolf! Coyote! Bear! Weather balloon!
Teenagers wearing a costume,
on each other's shoulders!
Why, you kids!
No, no, no!
[Kid] Sorry, Jo.
-[Jo] No!
-Have no fear! Kid Cosmic is here!
-[all scream]
-No, it's cool. I'm the good guy. Whoa!
A crashed spaceship has bestowed me
with five Cosmic Rings of Power…
which we shall use to save everybody
from evil alien invaders.
What is happening to my world?!
Everyone, calm down
and don't do anything crazy.
-[screaming]
-[Jo] Carla, no!
[tires screech]
[clattering]
Ah!
-[all] Ah!
-Don't worry, this… uh…
-orangutan is deader than-- Ah!
-[snarls]
[screaming]
Papa G…
He's gone?
It's okay, Flo.
Besides, we all gotta go sometime.
And he don't mean to the bathroom!
-Ba-dum-ching!
-Ah!
What is going on?
Sorry, Mom. Turns out the rings are real
and we all have powers.
[Rosa] Powers!
-[Rosa groans]
-You gave my daughter a magic ring?!
Uh, cosmic ring. And she stole it.
Not that anyone is blaming her.
She's amazing!
We could use her help right now.
Ugh, I knew there was
something weird going on here.
And it wasn't the bump on my head
or a fake space movie!
It was the kid's freaky magic rings!
Cosmic! What?
There's a difference.
You said five, Kid. Who's got the other?
Carl? You climb walls?
Hamburg? What do you got, super strength?
Yes, but it's from working out
and eating healthy.
Fry, what can you do? Turn to goo?
Me? I don't think so.
That would be crazy, though.
-[energy humming]
-[Tuna Sandwich yowling]
You gave it to the cat?!
Jo, why didn't you tell us?
-To keep you safe?
-What is it, boy?
Is there more danger?
[snarls]
You call this safe?!
-Yes!
-No!
[patrons screaming]
[Jo] I can get us to safety!
I'm not goin' through that!
-What?
-They cut you in half!
That only happened one time!
No! I'm staying here.
I worked too hard fixing my mother's diner
to have it destroyed by alien bears.
Demon Death Dogs.
Of doom.
-[overlapping chatter]
-Ugh!
If you won't leave,
there's only one thing to do.
Kid Cosmic
and the demise of the Death Dogs!
We lock the door,
stay in here, and wait them out.
We are perfectly safe inside.
I don't feel safe anymore!
-No!
-None of us do!
[overlapping chatter]
People! It's okay. I got this.
-Go fix the power.
-[Rosa] Power!
-[door opens]
-[chimes jingle]
What? I'm not going out!
[growling]
[all gasp]
People, it's okay. I got this.
Go board up the place.
-[door opens]
-[chimes jingle]
[hammering and clanging]
[Papa G clones scream]
-[dogs growling]
-[fighting noises]
Just a sec.
-[door opens]
-[chimes jingle]
[hammering]
-[dog snarling]
-[clones screaming]
Ah, sorry.
-[dog snarling]
-[clones screaming]
Almost finished.
Eh, got a lot of windows.
It'll be over soon.
Kind of get numb to it after a while.
[snarling stops]
-[Papa G] There! Safe and sound.
-[Jo] In the dark!
[overlapping chatter]
[Kid] Calm down, citizens.
Kid Cosmic shall be a beacon to…
[Kid grunting]
…a beacon to you all!
No way we're listening to you!
-You're the reason we're in this mess!
-[overlapping chatter]
Okay, listen.
[silence]
Well?
What?
Well, what do we do?
No, listen, like shh,
not like I have a plan.
Shh! Listen.
I don't hear anything.
Exactly. The Death Dogs went away.
-[energy humming]
-[all scream]
[yowling]
Tuna Sandwich senses danger!
Whoa! Whoa!
[snarling]
[all screaming]
-Everybody--
-Fight!
-Out the front door!
-[all scream]
-Papa G boarded it up!
-Seemed like a good idea.
[snarls]
-We can take 'em!
-Everybody in the kitchen!
-[all scream]
-[snarling]
-Not so fa--
-[Jo] The bathroom!
-[all scream]
-[snarling]
[door opens and closes]
-Oh, sorry.
-[all grunting]
Excuse me. Pardon me.
[all scream]
[groans]
Ninety-five! You're alive!
[pounding at door]
[clone] Hello! Fixed the pow--
-[screams]
-[dog snarling]
Power!
[clone] Ah!
One-oh-seven's gone to heaven.
One, that was insane!
Two, everybody okay?
-Three, what do we do?
-[Papa G] This!
[barking]
[all scream]
The dogs aren't real.
They're manifested
energy construct thing-a-mawhoozits
that zoop out of the collar.
-Knew it.
-So, we can stop them?
Yes, but how?
With this.
Just take this thingamajig
and stick it in this teeny doohickey
on the back of this who-za-whats-it.
-[energy humming]
-Hold it for three seconds and…
Easy peasy!
Awesome!
You hand these out.
I'll get the sonic courage.
-Kid, no!
-Sonic what?
[snarls]
This may be a silly way to stop you,
but span style="style2"this will make it so much cooler.
[doo-wop song playing]
No! This is the wrong song!
This isn't cool! This is-- Ah!
[singer vocalizing]
[Jo] This is crazy!
Hey! Wait up, guys!
Powers!
[singer vocalizing indistinctly]
Ha!
[growling]
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
[snarls]
[Jo] Three, two, one!
-Yes! One down-- Ah!
-[snarling]
-[all yelp]
-Jo!
[all] Three, two, one…
-[crowd] Yeah!
-Yeah.
Two to go.
Ah!
[snarls]
Kid, lemme help!
No, I took out a whole army by myself!
I can take out one dumb dog.
-[snarls]
-Ah!
-[growling]
-[yelling]
I'm goin' for a record!
Papa G!
Aw, all right, all right.
[gasps]
[crowd] One more!
[Kid] I got it!
[growls]
[roars]
Okay, you asked for it.
Twister Fist!
Ow! But it worked before…
[roars]
You're welcome.
-That was awesome, Mom!
-[Jo's mom] Thanks, honey.
It's okay, everyone. Death Dogs are dead.
Flo-- Um…
and the Kid saved the day!
[cheering]
-[energy hums]
-[Tuna meowing]
[weeps] What is it now?!
[growling]
-[meowing]
-[Death Dogs snarling]
A second chance!
I don't care how many
space bears there are…
-Death Dogs!
-…we will span style="style2"not let them eat our brains!
That's why I love you.
Also, they're not trying to.
They're after the rings.
Wait, that's what they want?
Yeah, and our powers.
Powers!
Those things will go away--
If we hand over the rings?
Yep, imagine so.
Then give them the rings!
-Give them the rings!
-What's the holdup?
No! We need them to protect
the future of the universe!
I don't care about the universe!
I care about this place
and the people inside it.
Jo, hand it over.
-No, Mom! Please!
-[groans]
-Stop that.
-You stop that!
-Mom!
-Stop!
-Gotta save the world!
-I hate these powers!
Jo, there's only one way
they'll let us keep our rings.
By proving how awesome we are with them!
Kid Cosmic!
[energetic rock music playing]
Ah!
Mom, please. I have to help.
We've all been getting better except Kid.
We dressed up like aliens
and pretended to lose to give him a win,
but he's not there yet.
No, Jo, I did that all on my own.
-You break it…
-You fix it.
-[Papa G] We're here to help, Kid!
-[clones cheer]
[cheers]
[Jo] Mom, Kid may be a good guy,
but he's really bad at it.
No! I will not let you get hurt.
And I will not let you
stop me from helping my team!
[sighs] Should've seen that coming.
[chuckles]
-[gasps]
-Huh?
-Powers!
-[Carlos] Stop her!
-[snarls]
-[all scream]
[Papa G screaming]
-Ah!
-[Rosa] Yay!
Power, power, power!
[chuckles] Yes.
[grunts]
[both] Rosa!
[Rosa] No Rosa!
Niña Gigantica!
Well, explains why we've been having
so many earthquakes.
Why?
[laughs]
-[growling]
-[yelps]
[screaming]
No!
Ah!
Whoa!
[grunts]
[screams]
[laughs]
[barking]
Ah! Ha!
[Tuna meowing]
-[barking]
-[Kid screaming]
Whoa!
[Jo] Yes!
[cheering]
Chalk up another win for Kid Cosmic.
First those robots,
and now the Demon Death Dogs.
Kid…
[sighs]
-Well, there's something I gotta tell you.
-What?
Well…
I'm proud of you.
[upbeat rock music plays]
I got my spaceman suit
And my spaceman hat ♪
And my spaceman underpants on… ♪
[meows]
I always knew they had powers.
-I just didn't want to spoil the surprise.
-Liar.
-Upsie-daisy! Upsie-daisy!
-Okay. All right.
-[Carlos] Enough.
-[Rosa] Upsie-daisy!
Oh, whoops. Forgot spoons.
-I got it.
-This could be good for business.
To food, fun, family,
and no more evil alien space dogs.
[cheering]
And to my daughter, the fearless leader.
I don't know about that.
I was thinking about your little team,
and it all breaks down so perfectly.
Jo is the leader.
Papa G is the heart.
Rosa is the muscle.
Tuna Sandwich is the brains.
And Kid… uh… Kid is… um…
-[Carl] The Kid is comic relief.
-[Jo] I don't know--
[Carla] He was hilarious out there! 
-[imitates Kid flailing]
-[all laugh]
[Carlos] It's true.
[door chime jingles]
[indistinct chatter]
Hey, hey, hey. We don't have to be mean.
Yeah, Kid-- Kid is the spirit of the team.
No Kid… no powers.
Rosa's right. If it wasn't for the kid,
the team wouldn't have rings.
There wouldn't even be a team.
He brought us all together.
-To Kid.
-To Kid!
[all] To Kid!
Hey, where is he?
Whoa, whoa.
You're not portaling anywhere.
Now that I know what you can do,
let's talk about getting this place
back on the map.
I'm thinking a new roof,
billboards on the highway.
Well, Flo, now that you mention it--
[metal creaking]
[gasps] I love these rings!
Kid was right. We do got a million hands.
Where'd he go?
[Kid] Comic relief?
This isn't a joke!
I'm not funny-- Whoa!
[sighs]
Oh. [groans]
Another alien fight, huh?
How terrible were you this time?
Well, we won, as a team.
I thought I was the leader,
but everybody else thought
Jo was the leader, and I--
I'm the comic relief.
[Chuck laughing]
It's not funny!
No, I'm only laughing
because… [scoffs]
Could the comic relief beat up
a robot army all by themselves?
No.
How about we watch your big moment again?
[Kid] I'm just gonna go to bed.
I'm really tired.
[Chuck] Come on, Kid, real quick.
I can't get enough of this.
Here's my favorite part.
-What's that move called?
-Twister Fist.
Classic.
What's this?
[gasps] The robots aren't dead?
The robots aren't even robots?
They're Papa G?
It was fake?
But… But why?
Why would they lie to you?
And what are you going to do about it?
[closing theme song plays]
[doo-wop song playing]
I got into my rocket ship
To see the Martian hop ♪
I saw the planet shining red
There I made my stop ♪
But as I opened up the door
And climbed the ladder down ♪
I saw the Martians on the floor
Dancing to this sound ♪
[vocalizing]
The Martian hop ♪
It seemed I was the first one there
So I was surprised ♪
To see the Martians sing this song
Before my very eyes ♪
They did the locomotion
And the holly jolly too ♪
I couldn't find a single dance
The Martians couldn't do ♪
The Martian hop ♪
The Martian hop ♪