King of Stonks (2022) s01e05 Episode Script

1
A NETFLIX SERIES
[ominous music playing]
[water splashing]
[Sheila] Clay, what do you
have for me?
[Clay] I researched Tikksystems,
and then I had to go back
to CableCash's quarterly report,
and something's not right.
The numbers from Asia are very suspicious.
- We have to be sure about this.
- [Clay] I am.
Sheila, this is our lifeline.
If we can prove this,
the whole company comes crashing down.
This is our chance
to get back in the game.
[sings] These guys are going to prison ♪
and we'll be the ones
who are gonna take them down ♪
[Felix] I'm gonna order us breakfast.
Okay.
What are you still doing there?
Having breakfast, are you?
Clay, you don't understand this.
[Clay] You have to get out, Sheila.
Immediately.
No, I have to tell the truth,
and then I'll get out of here.
- [Clay] No, no. Wait.
- I'll call you back.
[Clay] No, don't do this.
[cell phone clicking, thudding]
[cell phone ringing, vibrating]
[sighs]
- [ominous music concludes]
- [cell phone keys clacking]
[door opening]
[clears throat]
[Felix] Are you ready to make
the hardest decision of your life?
- Sure.
- [Felix] Uh, croissant or cinnamon bun?
- One or the other?
- [Felix] You can have both.
You've got a tough decision to make, too,
or have you forgotten?
That's
- Yeah, that's true.
- [Sheila] Mm-hmm.
[smooches]
[Felix] But the next board meeting
is still a week away, so I've got time.
[Sheila] If I were you,
I'd leave before it gets out
that the place is a scam.
So do you really think I should quit?
Yeah, I've actually always wanted
to live on a deserted island.
[soft music playing]
- [Sheila] Can I keep the T-shirt?
- No.
- [chuckles]
- [Felix] You can borrow it.
- You just want to see me again.
- No, you want to see me again.
[chuckles softly] I'll call you.
Hey, what did you want
to tell me yesterday?
[Sheila] Yesterday?
What was yesterday?
[video game sounds]
Hi.
- Wow. Who's that?
- [door closing]
Shut up. Just go to your room, okay?
[Sammy] If this gets serious,
you should really invest in some doors.
- Yes.
- [fingers snap]
[car horn blaring]
Clay? I know what we're gonna do.
You gotta book two tickets to Bangkok.
- [Clay] You sure?
- [Sheila] Yes.
We need to get proof,
then we get rich.
- [soft music concludes]
- [theme music playing]
[theme music concludes]
The house was full of art, gold, stocks.
But the only thing
my wife saved
from the flames was
- the Rilke and the cats.
- [soft music playing]
- [chuckles]
- [chuckles]
Leonard, this is fantastic. [chuckles]
- I hope it's not the cats.
- [indistinct chatter]
- [all laugh]
- [crockery clattering]
Take a look at this. [chuckles softly]
- [Magnus] Okay.
- [glass clanking]
One minute. [clears throat]
So, yes. You see, up until now,
I've always been more of a companion here.
However, I can't hide behind
my enchanting wife
and my success any longer.
[chuckles]
So that's why I'm uh this year,
I actually brought a little gift too.
For our dearest Christian.
[chuckles softly]
The story behind it is
It's so well known,
it's almost awkward for me to tell it.
I'll say this much, my dear Christian,
this
wine
was on the
- Titanic. [chuckles]
- [crowd gasps]
[Magnus] Yes, look. A rare collectible.
Crazy, right?
A bottle like this costs 12 grand.
- Super crazy, right? [chuckles]
- [Christian] Crazy. [scoffs]
[Magnus] Right?
Yeah, should we have a glass right now?
Yeah, sure. Hey, come here. Just a sec.
Would you open this? For the two of us.
- [wine bottle cork squeaking]
- [cork pops opening]
[Magnus chuckling]
Yes, it wasn't easy to get.
Ariane, look at that color. [chuckles]
Here, me too.
Not just him. [chuckling, snorting]
To you, my dear Christian.
[chuckles softly]
[glasses clink]
[smooches]
Mm. Whoa!
Whoa! [laughs]
- Talk about a flavor bouquet.
- [Christian] He's at it again.
A good story is nice to tell,
but it's worthless
if there's no substance behind it.
[all laugh]
[Magnus] A sip?
It's a unique opportunity.
You won't get it again.
[chuckles]
A sip of Titanic wine?
- Honey, would you like some Titanic wine?
- No.
- I have my white wine.
- It'll make rosé. [chuckles, snorts]
Are we in a fight now or what?
You can fight with your Titanic wine
about which of you has sunk lower.
I would really love to try it.
- Really?
- Sure.
[Leonard] I'm always up for something new.
Look. He's the expert. You see that?
Yes, it is a powerful story
with the Titanic and all that, huh?
And, if we can believe the market,
you're leading Germany into the future.
Thirty percent growth.
I tripled my investment. Yes.
- It keeps going and going.
- [Leonard] Of course.
- Like a broken record, right?
- Yes.
Yes, and if it goes on like this,
we'll probably see each other
in the Decision Makers Club.
I'm fine with that.
But I need a sponsor.
Well, I would be willing to do that.
Leonard, an exclusive position
like that has to be earned, right?
- Our members are the economic elite.
- [Leonard] Yes.
They represent our country's
most tradition-rich companies.
They aren't just some startup clowns.
They're DAX
- DAX board members.
- [tense music playing]
Magnus, DAX board members.
Leonard, tell me, the Auxerrois,
will it be
I'll be a DAX board member, too.
[Ariane] Magnus.
[Christian] Yeah. We'll see about that.
- [chuckles] Well, Max.
- [glasses clink]
[Leonard] Congrats!
[chuckles softly]
It really is a great wine.
[laughs, snorts]
Hi, Jutta. Do you have a minute?
[Jutta] I wasn't expecting
a call from you. What do you want?
- Hey, listen.
- [tense music concludes]
[rock music playing]
AMIRA WALLACE
IS THE BOARD MEETING TODAY?
FELIX ARMAND
YESS
AMIRA WALLACE
GOOD LUCK! THINKING OF YOU
FELIX ARMAND
GET YOUR SUITCASE PACKED.
[Felix] You know what, Magnus?
You should thank me.
Without me you'd be a bald, third-rate,
business consultant by now.
What have you ever accomplished
alone? You're a leech.
No, you're one of those
one of those little birds that picks
leftover food out of crocodiles' teeth
instead of hunting for itself.
Oh, you think you're better than me?
You're a shithead.
Yeah, I said it.
I know who you are, you prick.
Fuck your teeth.
You think people don't know they're fake?
You really think anyone falls for that?
[grunts]
I'm out.
[rock music continues]
- [elevator bell chimes]
- [rock music concludes]
- [indistinct chatter]
- [whimsical music playing]
- Morning, Felix. Something sweet?
- No. No thanks.
- You know where to find them.
- Yup.
- [woman] Felix, hey there!
- [Felix] Hey.
[woman] Felix, what's up? Bubbly?
- Maybe later, okay?
- [woman] Okay.
- [whispers]
- [all chuckle]
- [Magnus] Come in, sit down.
- [whimsical music concludes]
- What the hell?
- [all laugh]
[Alex] Yeah. What the hell?
Carnival is a millennia-old heathen ritual
- celebrated all over the world.
- [upbeat music playing]
[Alex] Of course, it's less sexy
in Germany.
But once a year we dress up
and act like we're all equals.
As a symbol against the patriarchy,
men's ties are cut off.
- You didn't get the memo.
- [all laugh]
[Alex] But don't worry.
It's just one week.
The rest of the year,
rich, white, heterosexual men
- are in control.
- [Magnus] Let's get started, okay?
We don't want to waste any time.
We still have to celebrate today.
- Right, supervisory board gents?
- [all] Yeah.
Okay, let's get started
with the decisions. Alex.
Right. First item on the agenda
is cafeteria staff contract extension.
[Magnus] Great. All in favor?
[Felix] Okay, everyone's here.
It's almost time.
- Felix Armand, signing off.
- [tense music playing]
[Felix] Go on and drop the bombshell.
Let's see how long
the company survives without me.
- [Magnus] Next item.
- [bangs on table]
Sole discretionary power for Magnus.
Allow me to be frank.
This affects me too.
[chuckles] So, who's for it?
[Felix] Magnus is gonna
lose his mind.
"Resigning? You wouldn't dare.
You don't have the balls."
Yep, I do. I'm Felix Armand.
I mean [laughs]
Good. Onwards and upwards
but no holds barred.
- Anything general to address?
- [tense music concludes]
[Magnus] Anything?
Oh, well.
Then I would say ladies first.
Equality is very important to us,
isn't that right? [laughs]
Magnus, I quit.
What?
- You can't do that.
- Yeah.
- But I have to.
- [Magnus] You can't do this. Come on.
- I have to.
- No, no, no. Come on, Alex.
Alex, honestly. You can't do that.
You know all of our quirks and flaws.
You're the heart of the company.
[man] Magnus,
I thought you were the heart.
Yes. Yes, right. I am probably the heart
of the company,
but you're no idea you're the kidney!
[Alex] Thanks. [chuckling]
Thank you, Magnus,
that's very sweet of you.
- [Magnus] May I ask why?
- I'm in love with Janine. We're a couple.
And that's against
company compliance rules.
- [Magnus] Okay, congratulations.
- [Alex] Thanks.
Janine could go instead. Right, Felix?
We don't necessarily need her.
I mean, Alex, you know way too much.
We can't just let you go.
Well, what can I say, you know? [chuckles]
I mean I signed a whole NDA package.
So the company's secrets are safe.
[Magnus] Well, we'll miss you very much.
You'll leave a void,
but when love's involved
nothing can be done, hmm?
Then we'll say goodbye
and good luck here and now.
You're free to go, Alex. Goodbye.
- Right now?
- [Magnus] Of course, now.
- Or did you want another donut?
- Okay.
Then
Good luck.
[Magnus] Anyone else want to quit?
Or maybe found their own company?
- [door slams]
- Hmm? Fucking cunt.
"Janine and I are a couple," my ass.
There's another reason.
No shit, Sherlock.
Of course, there's another reason.
And that is?
Magnus is selling to Deutsche Bank, Felix.
[tense music playing]
- No, no, no. Magnus would never. No.
- [tense music concludes]
Magnus promised me he would never sell
to Deutsche Bank. No way.
What else did he promise you?
A PlayStation 6?
- Fuck you, okay?
- [Alex] Fuck you.
He can't decide that alone.
[Alex] Did you not
listen in there just now?
Now Magnus can decide almost
everything alone. Everything.
Okay, but even then they'll check
our accounts and see they're all fake.
They won't check them.
They're not interested in CableCash.
They just want to eliminate
the competition. Buy and destroy.
[tense music playing]
You know what? This deal is shit
for everyone, except Magnus.
He'll be on the DAX board.
But, hey,
maybe I'm wrong about everything
and he'll tell you
what his great plan's really about.
- [Felix] Fuck.
- [Alex] Take care, Felix.
AMIRA - HEY, WHY NO WORD FROM YOU?
EVERYTHING OKAY?
[Felix] Felix, keep it together.
That can't possibly be true.
- [chuckles, snorts]
- [door knocking]
- [Magnus] What is it?
- [tense music concludes]
Oh, Felix! [chuckles]
I thought you were the gender police
coming to cancel me for this morning.
Nobody here has a sense of humor,
not even during Carnival.
Is everything okay with you?
I just wanted to say
you can always tell me anything.
[orchestral music playing]
- No matter what.
- I really appreciate that, Felix.
- Anytime.
- [Magnus] Anytime, yes.
- Really.
- [sighs] Yes, really.
Felix, if anything comes up
that I want to discuss with you,
I'll come to you in confidence.
And now Hasta luego, Felice. Go on.
[chuckling]
See you soon.
- [Felix] That dirty
- [elevator door thudding]
[Felix] fucking fake teethed,
back stabbing
[thuds]
Fuck!
[Felix] You're an idiot, Felix.
Magnus doesn't give a shit
about anyone but himself.
Did you really think
that didn't apply to you?
He probably would have been glad
if you'd quit.
[Magnus laughing]
[Felix] But he won't get off
that easy.
He started this fire.
He shouldn't be surprised
when he burns in it alone.
- Sascha?
- [Sascha] Yeah, boss.
I need your help. [pants]
- [orchestral music concludes]
- [upbeat music playing]
[bell chiming]
- [Felix] Can I get a double espresso?
- Sure.
- Hi.
- [Sascha] Okay. What's the plan?
First it's important
that you gain Tom's trust.
- [Sascha] Easy-peasy.
- [waiter] Here you go.
Can I get extra cream
and some more candy?
And some Advocaat on top, if possible.
- [waiter] You got it.
- Sorry, I'm with you.
[Felix] You have to do it.
I can't show my face there anymore.
Hey, Clark Kent.
- What?
- Time to change into Superman.
You don't recognize me?
CableCash Sascha.
The crazy chick from the Forum.
- [imitate gunshots]
- [gunshot fires]
- [Sascha] But don't panic.
- I'm not panicking.
Those bastards booted me out.
- So, I thought I'd do some whistleblowing.
- [indistinct chatter]
I can do that. No problem.
Then we give him everything.
We tell it all. The complete story.
Every journalist's wet dream.
- [Sascha] Are you sure?
- Oh, I'm sure.
Wow. This is just
Thanks so much, Sascha.
Is it what you wanted?
It's even better.
- And informant protection?
- [Tom] You don't have to worry.
I can guarantee absolute confidentiality.
No one will know
where I got the information.
[Felix] And then it goes like this.
When he gets the green light
from his boss,
he'll confront me via email.
I'll have a 24 hour deadline, enough time
to leave the country.
[Sascha] You sure about that?
Press laws. He has to do it
or he can be taken to court.
Crazy. So we decide
when they publish the article.
That's totally awesome.
- You should start tailing him now.
- [Sascha] I'm on it.
[Felix] I want to know what he does
and who he talks to.
Once the editors okay the article,
let me know right away.
[keys clicking]
- [laughs]
- [indistinct chatter on TV]
[Felix] Now, to make my exit.
TO: KUNKELMANN TIRE SERVICE
I URGENTLY NEED A TIRE CHANGE
[news reporter] His press officer says
he is preparing for the legendary
CableCash Carnival Party.
Can't wait to see that.
But then he'll continue
to attend to his investors' interests.
NO PROBLEM. YOU KNOW THE PRICE
- [cell phone beeping]
- [crockery clatter]
- [computer beeps]
- [keyboard keys clacking]
TOM, IT'S LEGIT. YOU CAN PUBLISH.
I HOPE YOU KNOW
WHO YOU'RE DEALING WITH.
[Sascha] All right, boss,
the chief editor okayed it.
Tom's gonna drop that email
confronting you and send it over.
Okay.
It's crazy how easy it is for the media
to be manipulated.
[Felix] Nothing can go wrong now,
unless he forgets how to write.
- [door opening]
- [bell chiming]
- My man.
- [tense music playing]
[Sascha] Hello?
- Boss, you still there?
- [Till] Why the face?
It's just us, dude. The "Hermanos."
- [Till] Sweet office. [finger snaps]
- [Fabian] Word. Sick art.
You didn't scrimp on anything, did you?
But you couldn't afford a good haircut?
- Okay, what do you want?
- "What do you want?"
You're not gonna offer us something, man?
Like a cappuccino?
Okay, listen.
I have 100 more things to do.
Sorry, but you've got to go.
[Fabian] All that other stuff can wait.
We have an important date.
We don't have a date. There was no date.
We know that, Felix,
but we have a date now.
With our new friends. [chuckles]
- Our friends.
- What new friends?
- That's the surprise.
- Surprise.
[clicks tongue]
Quick trip to the bathroom.
- [Till] Okay.
- Okay.
[upbeat music playing]
- [thuds]
- [Felix groaning]
[Felix] Wow. These porno pricks
seriously ruin everything.
[Fabian] My man. We told the cops
about you and the mob.
- Fuck.
- [Ariane] Did you forget?
The Hermanns ratted out old man Visconti
to the cops.
There's a classic Italian saying
that translates to,
"Never rat on the mafia to the cops."
[Ariane] This is for Umberto.
- No, no, wait! Wait!
- [Ariane] Silence.
[Fabian] I know how we can get
a lot more money out of CableCash.
- I'm listening.
- But you have to go there with us.
- [upbeat music concludes]
- [high pitched buzzing]
[Fabian] It's like the investor
Peter Thiel.
Without him there would be no Facebook.
[Till] What about the Winklevoss twins?
[Fabian] They don't matter, bro.
Peter Thiel is mega-rich now.
Because he was the first one
to believe in Mark Zuckerberg.
Get to the point.
Felix, you want to tell her
who were the first ones to believe in you?
- [chuckles]
- [mumbles]
[Fabian] Oh, yeah, you can't.
You're gagged.
It was us. The Hermanns and the Viscontis.
- We earned you your first money.
- What's that called?
- Early Investors.
- [Fabian] Early Investors.
[Till] We're basically
the Peter Thiels of CableCash.
Ah, we'll be getting
shares in the company then.
- [Fabian] Ex
- Exactly.
We want a say and we'll make sure
you don't get any more stupid ideas.
[Fabian] Felix, like not doing business
with the porn or gambling industries
just because you want to be "respectable."
[imitates a crying baby]
And to keep it under wraps,
it'll run through
a holding company in Luxembourg.
- Five percent for you, five for us.
- Okay. Good deal.
[chuckles]
But we'll do it like this.
Ten percent for us and none for you.
- Huh? Wait, what?
- Wait, hold on.
- That wasn't the plan.
- [Felix] Oh, fuck.
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!
These idiots! Read the fucking room!
- [Fabian] Huh? What the f
- No, no, no, sorry.
Is this some wack mafia bullshit? Huh?
- [gun cocks]
- [gunshot fires]
[groans]
[glass shattering]
- [growls]
- [groans]
- [gunshots firing]
- [glass shattering]
[growls]
- Stop!
- [tense music concludes]
[pants]
If you kill everyone,
then all of us lose.
You'll each get ten percent.
You'll have 20% of CableCash,
and a voice on the board.
You won't even have to pay taxes
on the funds in Luxembourg.
We'll sign the contracts on Monday,
at Magnus's place, okay?
Yeah, man.
You're not getting rid of us now.
- [instrumental music playing]
- Broski, you're alive!
- [groans]
- I thought you were already an angel!
- Bulletproof vest, dude.
- [Till] What kind of pussy are you?
- [overlapping chatter]
- [Till] We're going to be on the board.
[Felix] Yep, at a company
that'll be blown to pieces in five days.
- [bell chimes]
- [explosion]
[Felix] Who gives a shit about any of it.
Time to go.
Off to Costa Rica.
I can already taste the mojitos
or maybe that's just
the blood in my mouth.
FELIX - I NEED THAT TIRE CHANGE
SOONER THAN I THOUGHT.
KUNKELMANN TIRE SERVICE
MEETING POIN
- [instrumental music concludes]
- [car engine revving]
[sighs]
Complete personal data records.
Absolutely everything
we've collected this past decade.
Finally. What's with the change of heart?
Magnus is selling to Deutsche Bank.
- Shit.
- I'm using a journalist going after him
as revenge, and he's this close
to putting him behind bars.
[sighs]
Oh, yeah, and yesterday I promised
the mafia shares that I don't have.
So when they find out, I'm dead.
That's why the change of heart.
- [chuckles]
- Are you insane?
You can't say that stuff
to me. I can arrest you for that, man.
Do I look like a fucking therapist, Felix?
- I just thought I could tell you.
- No you can't tell me that. You can't.
[paper rustles]
[Felix] Thanks. Was that so hard?
What the fuck is this?
I can't even read it.
Yuri Ivanovich Krull? Kazakhstan?
What is this?
This'll be a nice fucking life.
Wait, what about Costa Rica?
Do you have any fucking idea how
last-minute your plan is?
- You owe me!
- [Marco] No, I don't owe you.
- I don't owe you a thing!
- Yes you do! You owe me! Are you joking?
- I don't owe you anything! Man!
- [Felix] Oh yes, you do!
[Marco] Are you kidding?
- Fuck! That's a damn war zone!
- So what?
Learn this by heart.
I'm in used car sales?
Frank, it's always the same
with people who want to
go into hiding. See?
They actually think they can just go
live la vida loca in the Caribbean.
- That's not real, Felix.
- You're a complete moron.
[Marco] Do you have enough cash?
- Yeah.
- [Marco] Yeah?
At least you got that.
- Fuck me.
- Shit, where's the key?
[keys jangling]
Can I bring someone?
A second person.
I met someone.
Dude, this is not you
and some girl's vacation.
She's not some girl. She's the girl.
- [indistinct chatter]
- [instrumental music playing]
Man, Felix.
- Have you checked her out?
- Of course.
[Marco] You have to be sure she's okay.
For my sake.
[instrumental music playing]
FELIX - HEY, AMIRA.
READY FOR A NEW START?
AMIRA - I'M ON A BUSINESS TRIP
WITH MY FATHER.
I HAVEN'T TOLD HIM I'M GETTING OUT.
AND YOU? FREE?
FELIX - SOON.
AMIRA - START LOOKING FOR AN ISLAND.
FELIX - OR DO YOU PREFER
SOMETHING LIKE THIS?
FELIX - NICE, HUH? IT'S KAZAKHSTAN!
I'm telling you, Sheila.
According to Google Maps,
this is at most
a storage unit or something.
- [Sheila] Yeah, let's see.
- [cell phone chimes]
I mean, did you see
those numbers I sent you?
AMIRA - I WAS THINKING THE MALDIVES.
FELIX - BUT I CAN AFFORD KAZAKHSTAN.
[Clay] Well, we found our missing
300 million dollars. What a shithole.
[Sheila] It's a fucking front company.
That's the oldest trick in the book.
- How come no one has seen this?
- [camera shutter clicks]
[Clay] Your Armand guy is going
to be in a lot of trouble.
[Sheila] I guess we'll see.
- [indistinct chatter]
- [cell phone chimes]
FELIX - JUST IN CASE
YOU WANT TO COME BY.
AMIRA - SWEET, BUT I'M STILL TRAVELING.
FELIX - THEN I'LL FREEZE THE CINNAMON BUN.
AMIRA - ARE YOU CELEBRATING QUITTING?
FELIX - NOT YET.
I WILL AT THE CC CARNIVAL PARTY
He's an idiot.
- [siren wailing in distance]
- [soft music playing over radio]
[Clay] There you go, Sheila.
Here's your celebratory tea.
I can't fucking believe what we just saw.
I'm in the middle of the biggest fucking
adventure in short selling history.
FELIX - BUT IN MY MIND
I'M ALREADY GONE
[Sheila] Clay,
you can be in the middle
of the biggest fucking adventure
in short selling history, quietly.
We have fucking proof.
We can take it to the investors,
get them back
and short CableCash bigger than ever.
This is the deal of a lifetime, right?
- [Clay] Yeah.
- Yeah.
Come on, Sheila.
We hit the jackpot
We hit the jackpot ♪
What are you doing?
- [Clay] Come on. Do the conga with me.
- Shut the fuck up! Sit down!
Clay, sit the fuck down.
There you go. Sorry.
We're going to make a lot of money.
[Sheila] You're so embarrassing.
[scoffs]
What's your problem, Sheila?
I'm fine. I'm absolutely fine.
I'm just focused.
- [Clay] Focused?
- Yeah. I'm focused I'm focused,
and I'm I just have a lot on my mind.
Okay?
What do you have on your mind?
Tell me then.
[Sheila] This is
If we get this out in the open,
there's a lot of people
who are gonna be in a lot of trouble.
But since when do you care
about fucking people over?
Everybody wants to fuck, so eventually
someone has to be fucked. Right?
That's what you always told me.
- [upbeat music playing]
- [cell phone chimes]
FELIX - ARE YOU FREE TONIGHT?
AMIRA - YES, I'M BACK
AMIRA - CARNIVAL PARTY TONIGHT?
FELIX - YESS
FELIX - WANT TO COME WATCH ME QUIT?
FELIX - IF YOU CAN'T MAKE IT,
YOU CAN SEE IT HERE
Now I'll show you the way
Carnival really happens around here.
Hey you guys. So get ready
for the classic CableCash party.
- [screams]
- [glasses clink]
Felix Armand. I love him.
Without him, we'd be nothing.
He said he's going to give
one hell of a speech tonight.
Well, these criminals
have no idea we have them by the balls.
- This was the best trip ever.
- Yes, it was.
[upbeat music concludes]
[Magnus] Ariane?
How is this supposed to work?
Ariane!
Ariane!
What are you doing?
- I'm not coming.
- What? No, of course, you're coming.
It'll look shitty
if no one's sitting next to me.
You've come all these years.
They shouldn't think anything's different.
But it is different.
I refuse to sit next to you
the whole evening
and watch as you betray
every one of your employees.
Oh, come on.
Will you please relax?
They've all earned good money for years.
They'll definitely land somewhere.
That's just how capitalism works.
Takeovers are totally normal.
It's not like I'm
some kind of crazy Sun King
whose grasp on reality
has totally been lost.
Ridiculous. This is bullshit! I hate this.
Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit!
[instrumental music playing]
- OR SOMETHING LIKE THIS?
- I LOVE IT.
- NICE, RIGHT? THAT'S KAZAKHSTAN.
- I'D PREFER THE MALDIVES.
I'D HAVE THIS, IF YOU WANT TO COME.
AMIRA, READY FOR THE RESTART?
BUT MY HEART'S ALREADY GONE.
I'LL PUT THE CINNAMON ROLLS
IN THE FREEZER THEN.
[cellphone key clicking]
[exhales deeply]
[instrumental music concludes]
[Sascha] Hey, boss, I'm sure your speech
will be great.
And when the email comes from Tom,
you're gonna be relaxing on your island.
Take care of yourself.
I guess I'll go back to working
for Telekom, then.
Oh, I have a parting gift.
Thanks.
I always wanted a bag like this.
[Felix chuckling]
I guess I don't have to go back
to Telekom.
[both chuckle]
- [Sascha] Thanks.
- You've earned it.
One last thing.
I'd like to take someone with me.
Felix. That's really sweet of you, but
I'm just kidding. [laughs]
[chuckles]
- Ah, okay.
- [Sascha] What can I do?
Amira Wallace, can you maybe check if
Like, I've googled her
and she seems all right, but
Sure. Trust is good,
but certainty is better.
Yeah.
- So should we hug?
- Yes.
- Is Sammy gonna be okay?
- Oh, he's taken care of.
[car door opening]
I gave his mom a bag like that one.
[Felix] What? What don't you get?
It's a mix of Count Dracula and a sailor.
René's coming as Sherlock Holmes
and Ali as Chaplin,
or Hitler or something,
and Steffi actually might not make it.
- Oh, yeah?
- [Sammy] She already got too drunk.
[rap music playing]
So what are you?
A cleaning lady or something?
I'm Tupac, dude.
[rapping] I bet you got it twisted
You don't know who to trust ♪
Don't try to tell me
about Tupac, okay?
Tupac was my youth.
[metal clacking]
- Sammy, you can't come.
- Why not?
Because your mom is coming for you.
- You want to get rid of me.
- No.
- You want to get rid of me.
- No, Sammy, it's not that.
It's obvious you want to get rid of me.
Your mom got a job, okay,
and a new apartment
You can't sleep in a bed with her forever.
It's not good.
Huh? Come on, you want that too.
You just gave her money,
so you could be done with me.
It's how you solve all your problems.
You really are an asshole.
- No.
- [Sammy] You should've asked me.
You didn't even bother. Enjoy your party.
Come on. Sammy,
it's not about that at all.
- Then what is it about?
- [rap music concludes]
Magnus is selling the company, okay?
And you're just gonna let him do it?
[Felix] What am I supposed to do?
I don't know. Fight? Haven't you even
considered what's going to happen
- to Steffi or Mark?
- Sammy, they'll be okay.
I mean, they're adults.
What kind of shitty captain are you?
The first to jump ship.
You're a real asshole.
- [Felix] Fuck you.
- A real fucking asshole.
[upbeat music playing]
[indistinct chatter]
WHERE'S OUR ALTBIER?
[crowd cheering]
Hey! Come here. Come over here!
You'll never guess who I am.
A chaplain! [chuckles] A chaplain!
- [music concludes]
- [crowd cheers, applauds]
Hello, hello, hello. Hello, my dearies.
Today is a very special day.
Because once a year,
the boss has to tolerate
the nastiest jokes about himself.
Let's move on
to the highlight of the evening.
The unparalleled CableBash!
- [dramatic music playing]
- [crowd cheers, applauds]
[crowd chanting]
To kick off the evening,
ladies and gents, we have
- Alexis!
- [crowd cheers, applauds]
[Alexis] Thank you!
[Alexis] Okay, that's good.
That'll do. Thanks, thanks.
I know I'm the real reason
you're all here today.
[crowd laughs]
Yes, uh, and of course, to witness
the lovely Ariane Cramer.
[crowd cheers, applauds]
Uh-oh, uh-oh!
It looks like someone had
something better to do tonight.
Probably a trophy wife vacation
with Asma al-Assad and Melania Trump.
[horn blaring]
Mark, your turn!
[crowd chants] Cable Cash! Cable Cash!
Cable Cash, Cash, Cash, Cash, Cash!
Yes! Thank you! Thank you!
Guys, I know, this is an awesome company,
but we're much more than that!
- We're a family! Yes! Yes! Yes!
- [crowd cheers]
[soft music playing]
- Hey.
- [Sheila] Hey.
- So?
- [Sheila] So?
- [Sheila clearing throat, chuckles]
- [chuckles]
- Ms. Wallace.
- [Sheila] Yes, Mr. Armand.
- I'm glad that you came.
- Yeah.
I couldn't miss this.
- [Felix chuckling] It's good, right?
- This performance.
Are you okay? You look tired.
Oh
stuff's a little hectic right now.
How was your trip?
Also pretty hectic.
But eye-opening.
But despite all his shortcomings,
we know every boss has a good side.
Some have charm, some have brains,
and Magnus Cramer has Felix Armand!
[crowd cheers, applauds]
Before you go,
I have something to tell you.
You know, before, on our date,
it really wasn't right, and then
It was just really a dumb coincidence.
Maybe I waited too long,
but since we first met
- I wanted to tell you
- That's me.
My farewell speech.
Don't run off, okay? I
- Farewell speech?
- That's right.
- Do that.
- [Felix] Then we take off together?
- Okay. Don't run away.
- No. I've got my costume.
Cool.
- Dickhead.
- That's me.
Felix Armand!
[crowd cheers, applauds]
[chuckles]
[applauds]
Wow.
[indistinct chatter]
I'm holding a mic
and I'm not even getting booed.
[crowd laughs]
[Felix] That's new.
That was so hard for Magnus just now.
I have to say it's not true.
Not everyone hates him.
- His mom thinks he's really great.
- [crowd laughs]
Do you know what Magnus says when you ask
what his favorite animal is?
- A cock.
- [piano instrumental playing]
- [horn blaring]
- [crowd laughs]
He doesn't care about accomplishing
or creating anything. Yeah.
You think he's trying
to achieve something, but it's bullshit.
He doesn't care about you.
He only cares about himself.
None of us matter to him.
[indistinct chatter]
No, no. Wait, wait.
Some of us are sick of it.
Others are smart enough to know
it's time to abandon the sinking ship.
[crowd murmuring]
But guys, CableCash
This sounds melodramatic, but
CableCash is more than a company.
We are a family.
[crowd] Yes!
- I mean, Schulz.
- Yes, definitely.
- Stefanie. Ali. Even Lücki.
- [crowd cheers, applauds]
I love you, guys.
You're the reason I did all this.
- I'll miss you.
- What does he mean?
Did you just quit?
Have you lost your mind? Fucking asshole.
- [piano instrumental concludes]
- [tense music playing]
What the fuck.
- What is wrong with you?
- Sorry, sorry.
Listen. The woman you asked me about
isn't Amira Wallace.
She's Sheila Williams.
- She's a short seller working undercover.
- [Felix] Is this a joke?
[Sascha] She's been betting against us
for weeks.
Or more accurately, against you.
[Felix] No, Felix. No.
- This can't be real, Felix.
- Boss?
[Felix] No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
- [Alexis] Felix is coming back.
- [crowd cheers]
[man] But he's lost his hair! [chuckling]
[Alexis] Quiet, people!
Felix wants to say something else.
- Hey, shut up!
- [Felix] That was just a joke.
You can't quit family.
- [horns blaring]
- [crowd cheers, applauds]
[Felix] And besides, I forgot
the most important thing.
Magnus, the best CEO. Come here.
He's the best!
- No. Come on.
- Stand up and come here.
[applauds]
- [Felix] Come on!
- [groans]
[crowd] Magnus! Magnus!
Magnus! Magnus!
[clears throat]
[shushes]
Just so you understand
how great this guy here is,
I'll let you in on a secret.
This week, our company
was almost taken over.
- [crowd] What?
- [indistinct chatter]
- Felix
- [dramatic music playing]
Deutsche Bank
couldn't help itself again
and came in with an offer this time,
including a seat on the board for Magnus.
- [crowd booing]
- [chuckles softly]
No, no, no. Stop, stop,.top, stop.
And this badass motherfucker
told those guys
that we'll never, ever sell our baby!
[crowd cheers, applauds]
And definitely not
to those Deutsche Bank shits!
I know just what you're planning,
and it's not gonna happen.
Steffi, film this.
And now from the boss himself.
Magnus, tell them.
We'll never sell to Deutsche Bank.
Say it.
Come on, say it, Magnus.
[chuckles]
- Uh, we'll never sell to
- I can't hear you. Louder!
[Magnus chuckling]
[comments dinging]
We will
We will never sell
to that shit Deutsche Bank!
[crowd cheers, applauds]
Deutsche Bank can kiss our asses!
They can kiss all of our asses!
Fuck all those haters from the press!
- And fuck the kind of people who act
- [tense music concludes]
like they're totally interested in us,
in our lives, in us as people
[resolute music playing]
when really,
money is all they think about.
- [man 1] Fuck money!
- [crowd cheering]
They will not make us buckle.
We are better than they are!
We are CableCash!
[crowd cheers]
[resolute music concludes]