Lego Jurassic World: Legend of Isla Nublar (2019) s01e05 Episode Script

ANNOUNCER: Welcome to Isla Nublar, and welcome to Jurassic World.
Have you ever seen a more lovely sight, Claire? I predict we will break Jurassic World's all-time attendance record today! We're ready, Mr.
Masrani.
We've got extra staff at the dock, extra ice in the snack stands and extra toilet paper in the bathrooms.
Excellent.
I knew this special event was going to be huge! One thing I'm just worried this many guests will put a real strain on the park's power systems? Heh! Not to worry.
I personally modified our automated power plant - to handle the extra load.
- Personally, sir? Everything will be perfect for our very special guest.
[CROWD GASPING.]
[GASPS.]
And there he is! The man all those people came to see.
Uh, hello.
SIMON: The legendary Ian Malcolm - has returned to Isla Nublar! - Ah, yes, it's me.
I've finally arrived.
[DINOSAUR ROARING.]
[TITLE MUSIC.]
MALCOLM: Aha, hello there! MALCOLM: Aha, hello there! Ah, yes, it's me! Hello! - Sign here! - Certainly.
- Can I have a strand of your chest hair? - Ah, no.
Oh, and look who's here! Ah, my official fan club.
Uh, nice to see the "Afic-Ian-ados.
" [CHUCKLES.]
Huh.
That's odd.
No one to greet the distinguished - master of ceremonies? - Hey! Hello! Over here! There's my superstar! Excuse me, Mr.
Mitchell.
Dr.
Malcolm! Welcome.
We're thrilled you're here to promote your biography.
I just read Life Has A Way: Chaotic Reflections of a Rock Star Mathematician.
So inspiring! Oh.
And who might you be? Assistant Manager of Park Operations Claire Dearing, may I introduce Dr.
Ian Malcolm? [LAUGHS.]
Hello.
Dr.
Ian Malcolm.
He literally just said that.
[LAUGHS.]
Ah, yes, but he didn't properly emphasize the "doctor" part, okay? We should get you two to the amphitheater to set up.
Ooh, but as Einstein first posited, time is relative, hm? So perhaps we have a few moments first, Ms.
Dearing? But the presentation starts soon.
- I really think that - That I can take Mr.
Mitchell to the amphitheater while you take our guest, who is driving our most profitable day ever, anywhere he wants to go.
- Right, Claire? - Sure.
I'm surprised you wanted to come back here at all, Dr.
Malcolm, given your last experience.
Oh, I am a bit nervous, returning to a situation that could go horribly wrong again.
But I'm a mathematician, Claire, and the probability exists that this could be a much better experience.
Without question, it is off to an excellent start.
Oh, heh.
Did you have something in particular - you wanted to see? - Mm-hm.
Uh, is it true one of your behaviorists is actually tempting nature and trying to train dinosaurs? Owen Grady, yes.
Uh, well, is he insane or foolhardy? Uh, or both? [LAUGHS.]
First stop, the raptor pens.
OWEN: Delta, Blue, Charlie, good.
Echo Echo, pay attention! Okay [CLICKS CLICKER.]
Find Red! [WHIMPERS.]
[MUSIC.]
[SCREECHES.]
[BARKS.]
And round him up! Good.
Now close the gate! Great job, girls! Best one yet! - They could do better.
- What? Hudson, they nailed it.
Yeah, but Charlie should grab Red, since she has the longest arms.
- And I'd move Blue to the far corner so - Uh-huh.
Don't you have somewhere - or, like, anywhere else to be? - I just wanna help.
As your assistant and best friend, it's the least I can do.
For the last time, you are not my assistant.
But I'm your best friend? [SIGHS.]
Look, you really wanna help? Here.
Free pass to the Ian Malcolm lecture.
Let me know everything he says.
Thanks, Owen! You're the best! Okay, ladies, let's go again.
[WHISPERS.]
Charlie, this time you grab Red.
CLAIRE: Hey Owen, I brought someone to meet you.
Owen Grady, Dr.
Ian Malcolm.
Uh, hi! [SCREECHES.]
Ooh, ah, should the raptors really be out of their pen and running around, uh, near us? These girls? They're pretty harmless.
As long as you don't provoke them.
Delta! [CLICKS.]
Down! See? They know I'm their alpha.
- They follow my commands.
- For now.
But any human interaction with dinosaurs is a folly that begins in hubris and could end with someone getting eaten uh, oh, I don't know, let's say on a toilet.
[CHUCKLES.]
Trust me, I've seen it.
It isn't like it was when you were here.
It's all good now.
WU [ON RADIO.]
: Dinosaurs loose! Code Red! Code very Red! [LAUGHS.]
Oh, what were the odds? Go for Claire.
What is it, Dr.
Wu? WU: The lock on the compsognathus hutch short-circuited and [STATIC CRACKLES.]
Dr.
Wu! I'm starting to think that coming back here was a mistake.
We'd better get over there.
I'm sure the situation isn't dangerous, but wouldn't you rather stay here? Eh, I'd much rather be with you.
I-I'll bring the raptors.
We've been practicing herding.
- This could be perfect for them.
- Ah, no, no, no.
Ah, you want to bring loose dinosaurs to a location where more dinosaurs are already loose? Surely you can do the math on that one.
I'm telling you, they'll be useful.
But they won't be riding with me.
Meet us there.
[SLURPS.]
So it turns out the video tape with the image of the treasure map is impossible to get.
And we can't find the treasure without it.
You're not asking for more money for your little dinosaur zoo, are you, Danny? Money doesn't grow on trees, you know.
Actually, it's gonna be called Dino Village Amusement Park.
[LAUGHS.]
Maybe you should spend less time coming up with not-so-clever names, and more time finding the treasure, hm? I do hope you have it the next time we talk.
I don't want to have to punish you for not finding it.
You know what that would mean - Wait! - SINJIN: Oof.
Seems your brisket is gonna be boiled, chap.
Guess I better take me kippers - and get back to Old Blighty.
- Wait! I don't wanna be punished! You gotta help me! You saw the entire map fragment on that video! How do I remember something I saw for three seconds? Um Uh You are getting very sleepy [MUSIC.]
Are you trying to hypnotize me? Be serious, mate.
I've faced the Iron Tomb Guards of Wakka Ding-Hoy! [ELEPHANT TRUMPETS.]
You can't believe I'll [SNORING.]
It worked? It worked! Ha, ha! Listen to me, Sinjin.
You will remember the map you saw on that videotape You will remember the location of Captain No-Beard's gold doubloons I will - remember - Yes! [DINOSAURS SCREECHING.]
Stay back! Don't hurt us! [SCREECHING.]
[DOOR DINGS.]
[MUSIC.]
Oh, hey uh, remember how you told me things are different on the island - than it was when I was here? Huh? - Yeah.
This is almost exactly like it was.
[SCREECHING.]
[SCREECHING.]
What is going on in here? Nearly all of our systems overloaded.
Including the one that locks the compsognathus hutch! [WHIMPERING.]
There've been power surges all day.
All right, girls! On me! Focus and let's round up those compys! [CLICKS.]
[CHITTERING.]
[WAILING.]
[ALL CHITTERING.]
OWEN: And problem solved! Uh, except that they're still loose.
And still hungry.
What about this fish? Uh, that's the mosasaurus' lunch.
It wouldn't feed even one compy.
MAN: Mm, Rib Day at the cafeteria! Aha! Mmm! Ho, ho, I could eat this every day! Excuse me, gentlemen! Aw.
Dinner is served.
[GRUNTS.]
[ALL CHITTERING.]
Sorry, ladies, that's not on your meal plan.
Hmm.
Aha! [MUSIC.]
CLAIRE: Yes! Great job.
Thank you, I CLAIRE: Ian, you saved the day! Ah, ha, uh, yes, well, anything to keep dinosaurs from eating me.
Hey! I rounded up the compys and got the doctors to safety.
- And I - CLAIRE: [GASPS.]
The lecture! Come on! [GROANS.]
CLAIRE: Hurry! If we disappoint the crowd for your lecture It's a crowd for a book lecture.
How mad could they get? CROWD [CHANTING.]
: Give us Ian! Give us Ian! Give us Ian! - Give us Ian! - Can't they chant and buy sodas? What do we do? Ian's late, and the crowd's out for blood, hm! This might rate you some Minus Mitchell Merits if you can't find a way to entertain the fans.
- CROWD: Give us Ian! - [SPUTTERS.]
What are you doing? Giving the fans something to entertain them.
CROWD: Give us Ian! Give us Ian! Oh, uh, hi, everyone.
I'm Larson Mitchell.
[CROWD BOOING.]
Hey! Booing is surprisingly entertaining! [MUSIC.]
Must remember - Must remember - The treasure! - Where is the treasure? - I remember - the treasure - Yes! Yes! - Where is it? - In a bowl with - paprika - Great! - onions - Ha, ha! - chives - Wait, what? - tomatoes - I'm doomed.
SINJIN: Mother's Omelet á la Prescott a family treasure.
We're late.
And the power surges in the lab What's up with those? MALCOLM: Uh, hey, uh, listen, a wise old abacus carver once taught me a pressure point technique to reduce anxiety.
Ah, here, I'll show you.
Uh, oh, may I? - Eh, now, close your eyes.
Oh, this could not - get any worse.
- Hey, Owen! - Gah! Hudson! You're supposed to be at the lecture.
I was, but then I thought of some questions for my hero, so So you came to me? Well, at least someone around here thinks I'm cool.
What makes Ian Malcom so awesome? Where does he get those rad sunglasses? Does he like Claire as much as she definitely likes him? Rad sunglasses? SIMON [ON RADIO.]
: Claire! Come in, Claire! - CLAIRE: Go for Claire! - Where are you? CLAIRE: On the monorail.
Two minutes out! Claire, we need Ian! The crowd is starting to chant refund! Not to mention they bodily assaulted me and called me names like "Stinky Face.
" CLAIRE: Have you used the cannon on them? - Ah! Splendid notion, Claire! - Did she say a cannon? [MUSIC.]
You can't fire a cannon at them.
That's too extreme, Mr.
Masrani.
CROWD [CHANTING.]
: Refund! Refund! [CHANTING CONTINUES.]
[CANNON BEEPING.]
No! Oh! Oh, it's so soft! [CROWD CHEERING.]
Are you not entertained? Are you not entertained? Meh.
I don't recall a light show being part of today's presentation.
[STAMMERING.]
Hey, there.
Couldn't the raptors take their own monorail? Oh, no, they get very nervous when they're alone.
They much prefer to have tasty Oh, I mean, friendly company.
[CHITTERS.]
[MUSIC.]
Cool! Fireworks! We didn't schedule any fireworks.
I've been on old Navy ships when the electrical systems overloaded.
You get sparks exactly like those.
More power surges [ALL GRUNT.]
[PANTS.]
I'm sorry, Uncle Dennis.
My hopes my dreams my revenge against Jurassic World and Jurassic Park for what they did to you smashed! [SLURPS.]
[GASPS.]
And I'm out of soda.
- All is lost! - SINJIN: Lost I remember the treasure that was lost [GASPS.]
You remember? Really? [CHEERING.]
This is the last of the shirts! - What do we do? - Give me your socks! Oh, wait! Here they come! MITCHELL: And there they go.
Mr.
Masrani said he modified Jurassic World's power plant to handle our extra guests.
Maybe that's causing the overloads! We have to deal with this first! How do we stop the monorail? Ah, Newton's First Law: An object in motion stays in motion until acted upon by an outside force.
[SCREECHES.]
[ALARM BEEPING.]
An outside force like the dock we're gonna crash into when we run out of track? Mm-hm.
Exactly like that.
Oh, wait, what? [BUTTONS BEEPING.]
[GROWLING.]
So for the second time today, I ask, can things get any worse? [ROARS.]
[MUSIC.]
It looked like the power surges are happening faster and faster! Command center, this is Claire Dearing! Evacuate the docks! Stat! The controls are shorted out! There has to be some access panel where we can cut the power! There! OWEN: I'm on it.
Girls, gather 'round, now.
Uh, just making sure they know to rip the Ah, oh, the panel and not the other passengers, correct? We've got this, Dr.
Malcolm.
All right girls, dig! MALCOLM: Pull the right wire, the train stops.
Wrong, maybe it explodes.
Whoa, rad! [GROWLS, THEN BARKS.]
OWEN & CLAIRE [GASP.]
: Hudson! Compy must've followed us! Hudson! Look out! [GRUNTS.]
[SCREECHES.]
Ian, Owen is wrestling a dinosaur! We need to do something now! Well, I'm a mathematician, not an electrical engineer, but, uh [GRUNTING.]
[BARKS.]
[DINOSAURS SCREECHING.]
Nine different wires n-factorial [BARKS.]
[GRUNTS.]
Uh, 362,880 possible combinations [BARKS.]
Ah, ooh, carry the one Ian! Just do something! As noted engineer Charles Kettering once said: "Believe and act as if it were impossible to fail.
" Or to put it succinctly: "Let her rip!" [ELECTRICITY CRACKLING.]
[BOTH GRUNT.]
Whoa! [GRUNTS.]
[BIRDS CHIRPING.]
[SCREECHES.]
[WAILS.]
[GRUNTING.]
[MUSIC.]
Gotcha! Whoa! [GRUNTING.]
[SCREECHING.]
[SQUEAKS.]
[GRUNTS.]
[BARKING.]
[MUFFLED SCREECHING.]
Phew.
I love Jurassic World! - Okay, Hudson's safe! - We're all safe! - Thanks to you - Aw, it was - Dr.
Malcolm! - nothing.
We better get to the power plant before anything else surges, explodes or goes kerflooey! Oh, no, no, guess what, eh, riding in the backs of Jeeps in theme parks with "Jurassic" in their names isn't high on my list of favorite things to do.
What about me? Hey! Can you give my pal Hudson here a lift to the amphitheater? Come on, girls.
You too, Red! MALCOLM: Oh, look.
[LAUGHS.]
Oh, I'm in the rear of a speeding jeep being chased by carnivores.
Eh, déjá  vu.
DANNY: Sinjin! I found something! I think it's the lost treasure! [LAUGHS.]
A set of keys? To my treasured condo.
Once, the keys were lost - now they are found - Seriously?! [GASPS.]
Quicksand? Oh, perfect.
Sinjin, give me a hand here.
Sinjin? Sinjin! Ah, I command you to not be hypnotized.
Alakazam, you're unhypnotized! Sinjin! [MUSIC.]
Whoa! [CHITTERING.]
CLAIRE: These are the modifications? Duct tape, PVC pipe and car batteries? OWEN: Doesn't matter! The dynamos need to be powered down now! [YELLING.]
Well, uh, maybe not right this second but soon! Is there another control panel? Just the emergency bypass switch, but it's in that control station.
Then we'll have to do it ourselves! Who has the kind of reflexes you'd need to get through those? [CLICKS.]
Good.
Okay, who wants a treat? [ELECTRICITY CRACKLING.]
Remarkable.
Nice job, girl.
Now stay there.
What's the code to reduce power? Three, four, three, four.
Blue! Pay attention! Do what I do! [SCREECHES.]
Three, four, three, four! [BEEPING.]
[POWERING DOWN.]
Ha, ha! Good work all of you.
Whoa! Hey! Uh shouldn't you be hugging Dr.
Malcolm? [LAUGHS.]
Oh, oops! Uh, I just mean you did it! Uh, and the raptors too.
Eh, perhaps training dinosaurs isn't complete folly after all.
[PURRING.]
[GASPS.]
The book! The lecture! CROWD [CHANTING.]
: Refund, plus the interest! Refund, plus the interest! Refund, plus the interest! Uh, we've given them t-shirts, my socks and now hot dogs! We have to hurry and give them something else.
Go to a concession stand and get some tubs of pickle relish! What are hot dogs without pickle relish? [CROWD CHEERING.]
[MUSIC.]
Those sparks! Another power surge? Nope, contractually-mandated stunt.
Apparently Ian always has to take the stage in a shower of sparks.
[SIGHS.]
Okay, I gotta admit, he is kinda cool.
I see why you're so into him.
Ian? No! Not even a little.
Owen, it's my job to meet our guests' needs, and what Ian needs is constant ego-boosting.
Oh, speaking of ego-boosts Claire told me you saved the whole park, Owen! I knew you'd do it! Thanks, Hudson.
And I talked my parents into extending our stay again! Indefinitely! I'm gonna be by your side all the time.
[SARCASTICALLY.]
Hooray.
[MUSIC.]
All I'm saying is a thank you for coming out of that trance and saving you would be in order, mate.
Maybe after you apologize for leading me into danger in the first place, mate.
The danger we were in because you hypnotized me? - That danger? - WOMAN: Oh, Danny? I don't see any treasure.
- Um, aha! - Don't even think about it! [BOTH GRUNTING.]
Give it to me! - You will take the blame! - It's all your fault! - It's all my fault.
- I'll take the blame.
- It's all my fault.
- I'll take the blame.
[BOTH SNORING.]
[SIGHS.]