Lip Sync Battle (2015) s01e05 Episode Script
Mike Tyson vs. Terry Crews
Friends say it's fine, friends say it's good everybody says it's just like rock 'n' roll ohhhhhhh well, it's plain to see you were meant for me, yeah and I'm your boy, your 20th century toy Your host is something like a phenomenon the one, the only LL Cool J.
Yeah! What up?! Welcome to the hottest show on TV "Lip Sync Battle"! Now, the Internet is on fire with celebrity lip-syncing videos, and tonight, we've got the most anticipated heavyweight lip-sync fight of all time.
And ringside with me, as always please give it up for our colorful commentator, Chrissy Teigen.
Stare stare stare all they do is stare She'll be throwing down her totally uncut reactions tonight.
Go, Chrissy.
Go, Chrissy.
You guys ready for this? Holy smokes.
I got to say I have already booked my face tattoo down the street.
That's how excited I am tonight.
I'm so excited.
Well, you know how it works.
Two stars, two rounds.
Neither star knows their opponent's song choices ahead of time.
Round one is about pure lip-sync skills.
Round two, they take it up a notch dancers, tricks, surprises anything to dominate.
Our audience picks the winner, all right? You decide who gets to take home the Lip Sync championship belt.
Let's get ready to battle! He's the man, the myth, the legend, the baddest man on the planet "Iron" Mike Tyson! And his opponent, a heavy hitter from "Brooklyn Nine-Nine," "Nridesmaids," and the National Football League.
He claims to be the best dancer in the world Terry Crews! Yeah! What's up in here? What?! I ain't scared of you! Aaah!! You guys ready to get this started? All right, so, look, I'm a huge boxing fan.
Everybody knows that.
"Mama said knock you out," all that stuff.
So, Terry, just have a seat.
Relax one second just for a second, now.
Don't don't hit him, Terry.
Don't hit him.
Have a seat.
Iron Mike, come on over.
So, Big Mike, it's on and popping, baby.
What song are you rocking for us? "Satisfaction," baby.
I need that "satisfaction.
" Tricky Micky Jagger.
Ladies and gentlemen, channeling Jagger with "(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction" by The Rolling Stones, here's Iron Mick I mean, Mike Tyson! - Oh! - I can't get no satisfaction I can't get no satisfaction 'cause I try and I try and I try and I try I can't get no I can't get no when I'm drivin' in my car and the man comes on the radio he's tellin' me more and more about some useless information supposed to fire my imagination I can't get no a-no, no, no hey, hey, hey that's what I say I can't get no satisfaction Come on, he's killing it! I can't get no satisfaction 'cause I try and I try and I try and I try I can't get no a-no, no, no hey, hey, hey Yo! Yo! Wait a minute.
You're gonna have to give me a second to catch my breath.
Terry, what'd you think? I mean, what? Did you like his moves? You know what? You know what? First of all, no, I got to give it up.
Mike did his thing.
I ain't gonna lie! Yo! It's gonna be hard to top that.
It's gonna be hard.
But you know what? I'm a man that's up to the challenge, you know what I'm saying? Well, in that case, Mike, head on over to the V.
I.
P I thought my pants was tight.
You thought your pants was tight! You head to the V.
I.
P Terry, come on over here.
Mike thinks you got tight pants on.
I'mma leave that a long pause.
All right, so, Terry Terry, what song did you choose? Yo, I went old-school.
I went back to the days when I was 12 years old, sitting in my room, with no girlfriends, lonely Dejected.
That was a long time ago? And I was angry 'cause I couldn't get no dates! This song made me a man! This song made me a man! And what song are you talking which song made you a man? I'm going "Sucker M.
C.
's" with Run-D.
M.
C.
! Ladies and gentlemen, here is Terry Crews! two years ago, a friend of mine asked me to say some M.
C.
rhymes so I said this rhyme I'm about to say the rhyme was def, a-then it went this way took a test to become an M.
C.
And Orange Krush became amazed at me so Larry put me inside his Cadillac the chauffeur drove off, and we never came back Dave cut the record down to the bone and now they got me rockin' on the microphone and then we talkin' autograph and cheers and laugh champagne, caviar, and bubble bath but, see-a, a-that's the life a-that I lead and you sucker M.
C.
's is who I please so take that and move back, catch a heart attack because there's nothin' in the world that run'll ever lack I cold chill at a party in a b-boy stance and rock on the mike and make the girls wanna dance fly like a dove that come from up above I'm rockin' on the mike, and you can call me run-love I'm D.
M.
C.
in the place to be I go to St.
John's University and since kindergarten, I acquired the knowledge and after 12th grade, I went straight to college I'm light-skinned, I live in Queens and I love eatin' chicken and collard greens I dress to kill, I love the style I'm an M.
C.
you know who's versatile see, I got good credit in your regards got my name, not numbers, on my credit cards I go uptown, I come back home with who? Me, myself, and my microphone you gotta let 'em know you'll never stop the rhymes have to make a lot of sense you got to know where to start when the beats commence Oh, my god.
Let me tell you something.
I just felt the power, the energy the love! I mean, what can you say? That is one of the best beats ever made in hip-hop, straight up! It really is.
It made my nipples my nipples just got happy! Same.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I want to not be involved with that, though.
- Okay, okay.
I'm sorry.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So, go and have a seat over at the V.
I.
P.
, you and your nipples and all that.
What?! You and your nipples have a seat.
Chill out.
Oh, man, not the nipples.
We have them! - Easy, easy.
- We have nipples! - Nipples.
- Men have nipples! He's got nipples! No, I don't.
No, I don't.
No I don't.
I do not possess nipples.
Mike has no nipples! I do not possess nipples.
- Hey, yo, Terry.
- Mike has no nipples.
He don't have nipples, B.
Let's leave it at that, all right? He said he don't have nipples, Terry.
I'll leave that alone.
All right! Round one is over.
When we come back, it gets bigger Round two! and badder in round two! The lip sync championship belt is up for grabs! Keep in sync! Sucker M.
C.
's is who I please so take that and move back, catch a heart attack I can't get no satisfaction We back on the Tyson versus Crews lip-sync battle.
It's time for round two, where our stars pull out all the stops costumes, dancers anything to get the K.
O.
So let's see how Terry Crews prepared for his round-two attack.
I never ever compete.
I just create.
Are you here to win? - Yes! - Thank you.
Let's go.
First thing I want you to know I am the world's best dancer.
That's what I am.
It's my superpower.
Any softness on the pop - Okay.
- It's the easiest way to get gone.
Aww, look at you! You're just ready to learn.
We gonna wear a jacket onstage? Thank you.
You can't get angry, you can't get upset.
No! I learn how to roll with everything.
To the side.
This way.
You're not doing it.
Next! This is not a game.
People haven't survived against Mike Tyson.
Now we go into octopus.
Our job is to blow this thing up.
- I think the tutu is overkill.
- Okay.
Make sure it hits at the waist.
- How's that feel? - Good.
All right, you guys are hanging.
We're gonna win.
Performance.
Watch this.
Makin' my way downtown, walking fast faces pass, and I'm homebound starin' blankly ahead, just making my way making a way through the cro-o-wd and I need you and I miss you and now I wonder if I could fall into the sky do you think time would pass us by 'cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles if I could just see you oh, oh if I could fall into the sky do you think time would pass me by 'cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles if I could just see you if I could just hold you Toni-i-i-ght - Yo, Terry.
- Yes, sir.
Oh, yeah.
I love you! Oh, my god! I love you! So, Terry, you're You're a gentle giant, right? Yes.
Now, how did you channel your softer side? Uh my wife and four daughters.
Because you learn, at home, you just got to shut up and listen, and you got to be sensitive, and sometimes, you got to get in touch with your feminine side! It's a wonderful thing! On that note, Terry, go on and have a seat next to Mike.
Have a seat.
Have a seat.
Awesome, bud.
Relax.
This is my kind of show tonight.
Oh, Chrissy.
LL was just ribbon-dancing.
- Chrissy - This is awesome.
what just happened? I thought, when the lights came down, he was giving me John Legend with the piano thing.
I got a little excited.
Oh, he was giving you John Legend, but he wasn't It was a different John Legend.
He was giving me John, and then he took his shirt off, and I was like, "aww.
" Kind of it's still kind of the same, but you got a few more muscles.
You got to I love him, but he's not Terry.
Look at Terry! Terry Crews just made his way downtown, but Mike Tyson has one last chance to prove why he's the champ.
It's fight night on "Lip Sync Battle.
" And I still need you Everybody says it's just like rock 'n' roll Welcome back to "Lip Sync Battle.
" We're in the heat of round two, Crews versus Tyson.
Our stars are tricking out their songs to create showstoppers.
It's like a milli vanilli "Thrilla in Manila.
" Let's see how Tyson geared up for his last shot at the title.
You a champ.
Born champ, baby.
Born to win.
Born to do it.
Born to get it on.
One, two, three, four.
Details have a lot to do with it, but spirit is everything.
You make an entrance like, you know, "coming out to war" kind of thing.
When a great warrior dies, they put gold and silver on his eyes and send him on his way to the other land.
It's not about competition.
Terry's really gonna get humiliated.
What makes you successful is other people's success.
I'm looking forward to it.
I can't get no It pretty much grasps the whole idio-syntheses of who I am.
Terry, this is where it's at, right here, brother.
This is what you have to deal with intergalactic Eddie Munster.
I'm beautiful, baby.
The gold and glitter guy.
Ahh, push it Get up, y'all! Oww, baby! S-s-s-s-s-salt and Pepa's here and we're in effect want you to push it, babe coolin' by day, then at night working up a sweat come on, girls, let's go show the guys that we know how to become number-one in a hot, party show now push it ahh, push it push it good ahh, push it push it real good ahh, push it push it good ahh, push it p-push it real good yo, baby-pop, yeah, you, come here, gimme a kiss better make it fast, or else I'm gonna get pissed can't you hear the music's pumpin' hard like I wish you would? Now, push it push it good push it real good push it good p-push it real good Yo! Yo, Mike, come on over here.
Mike, first of all, let me just hit you with "wow.
" You feel like you made Salt-N-Pepa proud just then? I don't know.
I feel sexy.
Look at his pants.
These are awesome.
Please don't feel too sexy right now.
Whoo! So, Terry, how do you feel right now? You feel You know, I feel like Mike was getting ready in the back room with them pants, talking about, "push it push it real good.
" It was very difficult, very difficult.
Push it real good! It was almost Oh, my gosh.
Hey, those are extra-medium, Mike! That was small.
That was small.
Hey, hey, hey, yo, baby-pop! I'm scared to pass flatulence, okay? If I pass gas, man, there'll be an explosion.
I didn't say that.
I'm only trippin', baby, okay? - Mike - I got the same pants.
What you say, Chrissy? I got the same pants.
They unbelievable.
You feeling them joints pop, I'll tell you that much.
Oh! Yeah.
Yeah, okay.
Push it real good.
Mike, head on over there, and join Terry in the V.
I.
P.
All right, round two is in the books.
Thank god.
Both of these titans brought the heat.
When we come back, a new champion will be crowned.
The moment of truth is next on "Lip Sync Battle.
" S-s-s-s-s-salt and Pepa's here and we're in effect want you to push it, babe Everybody says it's just like rock 'n' roll Welcome back to "Lip Sync Battle.
" You're never gonna see a show like this anywhere.
Iron Mike Tyson versus Terry Crews "Missile.
" Now it is time to decide Which heavyweight takes the belt.
Chrissy, let's do this.
Ready? Is the champ Mike Tyson? Or is it Terry Crews? The undisputed "Lip Sync Battle" champion is Terry Crews.
Oh, thank you! Props to Mike Tyson, props to Terry Crews for a legendary battle.
And thank you to the millions of fans at home cheering them on.
From LL Cool J and young, beautiful Chrissy Teigen, good night! And remember knock 'em out the box, L.
Knock 'em out, L.
Makin' my way downtown, walking fast faces pass, and I'm homebound starin' blankly ahead, just making my way making a way through the cro-o-wd and I need you and I miss you and now I wonder
Yeah! What up?! Welcome to the hottest show on TV "Lip Sync Battle"! Now, the Internet is on fire with celebrity lip-syncing videos, and tonight, we've got the most anticipated heavyweight lip-sync fight of all time.
And ringside with me, as always please give it up for our colorful commentator, Chrissy Teigen.
Stare stare stare all they do is stare She'll be throwing down her totally uncut reactions tonight.
Go, Chrissy.
Go, Chrissy.
You guys ready for this? Holy smokes.
I got to say I have already booked my face tattoo down the street.
That's how excited I am tonight.
I'm so excited.
Well, you know how it works.
Two stars, two rounds.
Neither star knows their opponent's song choices ahead of time.
Round one is about pure lip-sync skills.
Round two, they take it up a notch dancers, tricks, surprises anything to dominate.
Our audience picks the winner, all right? You decide who gets to take home the Lip Sync championship belt.
Let's get ready to battle! He's the man, the myth, the legend, the baddest man on the planet "Iron" Mike Tyson! And his opponent, a heavy hitter from "Brooklyn Nine-Nine," "Nridesmaids," and the National Football League.
He claims to be the best dancer in the world Terry Crews! Yeah! What's up in here? What?! I ain't scared of you! Aaah!! You guys ready to get this started? All right, so, look, I'm a huge boxing fan.
Everybody knows that.
"Mama said knock you out," all that stuff.
So, Terry, just have a seat.
Relax one second just for a second, now.
Don't don't hit him, Terry.
Don't hit him.
Have a seat.
Iron Mike, come on over.
So, Big Mike, it's on and popping, baby.
What song are you rocking for us? "Satisfaction," baby.
I need that "satisfaction.
" Tricky Micky Jagger.
Ladies and gentlemen, channeling Jagger with "(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction" by The Rolling Stones, here's Iron Mick I mean, Mike Tyson! - Oh! - I can't get no satisfaction I can't get no satisfaction 'cause I try and I try and I try and I try I can't get no I can't get no when I'm drivin' in my car and the man comes on the radio he's tellin' me more and more about some useless information supposed to fire my imagination I can't get no a-no, no, no hey, hey, hey that's what I say I can't get no satisfaction Come on, he's killing it! I can't get no satisfaction 'cause I try and I try and I try and I try I can't get no a-no, no, no hey, hey, hey Yo! Yo! Wait a minute.
You're gonna have to give me a second to catch my breath.
Terry, what'd you think? I mean, what? Did you like his moves? You know what? You know what? First of all, no, I got to give it up.
Mike did his thing.
I ain't gonna lie! Yo! It's gonna be hard to top that.
It's gonna be hard.
But you know what? I'm a man that's up to the challenge, you know what I'm saying? Well, in that case, Mike, head on over to the V.
I.
P I thought my pants was tight.
You thought your pants was tight! You head to the V.
I.
P Terry, come on over here.
Mike thinks you got tight pants on.
I'mma leave that a long pause.
All right, so, Terry Terry, what song did you choose? Yo, I went old-school.
I went back to the days when I was 12 years old, sitting in my room, with no girlfriends, lonely Dejected.
That was a long time ago? And I was angry 'cause I couldn't get no dates! This song made me a man! This song made me a man! And what song are you talking which song made you a man? I'm going "Sucker M.
C.
's" with Run-D.
M.
C.
! Ladies and gentlemen, here is Terry Crews! two years ago, a friend of mine asked me to say some M.
C.
rhymes so I said this rhyme I'm about to say the rhyme was def, a-then it went this way took a test to become an M.
C.
And Orange Krush became amazed at me so Larry put me inside his Cadillac the chauffeur drove off, and we never came back Dave cut the record down to the bone and now they got me rockin' on the microphone and then we talkin' autograph and cheers and laugh champagne, caviar, and bubble bath but, see-a, a-that's the life a-that I lead and you sucker M.
C.
's is who I please so take that and move back, catch a heart attack because there's nothin' in the world that run'll ever lack I cold chill at a party in a b-boy stance and rock on the mike and make the girls wanna dance fly like a dove that come from up above I'm rockin' on the mike, and you can call me run-love I'm D.
M.
C.
in the place to be I go to St.
John's University and since kindergarten, I acquired the knowledge and after 12th grade, I went straight to college I'm light-skinned, I live in Queens and I love eatin' chicken and collard greens I dress to kill, I love the style I'm an M.
C.
you know who's versatile see, I got good credit in your regards got my name, not numbers, on my credit cards I go uptown, I come back home with who? Me, myself, and my microphone you gotta let 'em know you'll never stop the rhymes have to make a lot of sense you got to know where to start when the beats commence Oh, my god.
Let me tell you something.
I just felt the power, the energy the love! I mean, what can you say? That is one of the best beats ever made in hip-hop, straight up! It really is.
It made my nipples my nipples just got happy! Same.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I want to not be involved with that, though.
- Okay, okay.
I'm sorry.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So, go and have a seat over at the V.
I.
P.
, you and your nipples and all that.
What?! You and your nipples have a seat.
Chill out.
Oh, man, not the nipples.
We have them! - Easy, easy.
- We have nipples! - Nipples.
- Men have nipples! He's got nipples! No, I don't.
No, I don't.
No I don't.
I do not possess nipples.
Mike has no nipples! I do not possess nipples.
- Hey, yo, Terry.
- Mike has no nipples.
He don't have nipples, B.
Let's leave it at that, all right? He said he don't have nipples, Terry.
I'll leave that alone.
All right! Round one is over.
When we come back, it gets bigger Round two! and badder in round two! The lip sync championship belt is up for grabs! Keep in sync! Sucker M.
C.
's is who I please so take that and move back, catch a heart attack I can't get no satisfaction We back on the Tyson versus Crews lip-sync battle.
It's time for round two, where our stars pull out all the stops costumes, dancers anything to get the K.
O.
So let's see how Terry Crews prepared for his round-two attack.
I never ever compete.
I just create.
Are you here to win? - Yes! - Thank you.
Let's go.
First thing I want you to know I am the world's best dancer.
That's what I am.
It's my superpower.
Any softness on the pop - Okay.
- It's the easiest way to get gone.
Aww, look at you! You're just ready to learn.
We gonna wear a jacket onstage? Thank you.
You can't get angry, you can't get upset.
No! I learn how to roll with everything.
To the side.
This way.
You're not doing it.
Next! This is not a game.
People haven't survived against Mike Tyson.
Now we go into octopus.
Our job is to blow this thing up.
- I think the tutu is overkill.
- Okay.
Make sure it hits at the waist.
- How's that feel? - Good.
All right, you guys are hanging.
We're gonna win.
Performance.
Watch this.
Makin' my way downtown, walking fast faces pass, and I'm homebound starin' blankly ahead, just making my way making a way through the cro-o-wd and I need you and I miss you and now I wonder if I could fall into the sky do you think time would pass us by 'cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles if I could just see you oh, oh if I could fall into the sky do you think time would pass me by 'cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles if I could just see you if I could just hold you Toni-i-i-ght - Yo, Terry.
- Yes, sir.
Oh, yeah.
I love you! Oh, my god! I love you! So, Terry, you're You're a gentle giant, right? Yes.
Now, how did you channel your softer side? Uh my wife and four daughters.
Because you learn, at home, you just got to shut up and listen, and you got to be sensitive, and sometimes, you got to get in touch with your feminine side! It's a wonderful thing! On that note, Terry, go on and have a seat next to Mike.
Have a seat.
Have a seat.
Awesome, bud.
Relax.
This is my kind of show tonight.
Oh, Chrissy.
LL was just ribbon-dancing.
- Chrissy - This is awesome.
what just happened? I thought, when the lights came down, he was giving me John Legend with the piano thing.
I got a little excited.
Oh, he was giving you John Legend, but he wasn't It was a different John Legend.
He was giving me John, and then he took his shirt off, and I was like, "aww.
" Kind of it's still kind of the same, but you got a few more muscles.
You got to I love him, but he's not Terry.
Look at Terry! Terry Crews just made his way downtown, but Mike Tyson has one last chance to prove why he's the champ.
It's fight night on "Lip Sync Battle.
" And I still need you Everybody says it's just like rock 'n' roll Welcome back to "Lip Sync Battle.
" We're in the heat of round two, Crews versus Tyson.
Our stars are tricking out their songs to create showstoppers.
It's like a milli vanilli "Thrilla in Manila.
" Let's see how Tyson geared up for his last shot at the title.
You a champ.
Born champ, baby.
Born to win.
Born to do it.
Born to get it on.
One, two, three, four.
Details have a lot to do with it, but spirit is everything.
You make an entrance like, you know, "coming out to war" kind of thing.
When a great warrior dies, they put gold and silver on his eyes and send him on his way to the other land.
It's not about competition.
Terry's really gonna get humiliated.
What makes you successful is other people's success.
I'm looking forward to it.
I can't get no It pretty much grasps the whole idio-syntheses of who I am.
Terry, this is where it's at, right here, brother.
This is what you have to deal with intergalactic Eddie Munster.
I'm beautiful, baby.
The gold and glitter guy.
Ahh, push it Get up, y'all! Oww, baby! S-s-s-s-s-salt and Pepa's here and we're in effect want you to push it, babe coolin' by day, then at night working up a sweat come on, girls, let's go show the guys that we know how to become number-one in a hot, party show now push it ahh, push it push it good ahh, push it push it real good ahh, push it push it good ahh, push it p-push it real good yo, baby-pop, yeah, you, come here, gimme a kiss better make it fast, or else I'm gonna get pissed can't you hear the music's pumpin' hard like I wish you would? Now, push it push it good push it real good push it good p-push it real good Yo! Yo, Mike, come on over here.
Mike, first of all, let me just hit you with "wow.
" You feel like you made Salt-N-Pepa proud just then? I don't know.
I feel sexy.
Look at his pants.
These are awesome.
Please don't feel too sexy right now.
Whoo! So, Terry, how do you feel right now? You feel You know, I feel like Mike was getting ready in the back room with them pants, talking about, "push it push it real good.
" It was very difficult, very difficult.
Push it real good! It was almost Oh, my gosh.
Hey, those are extra-medium, Mike! That was small.
That was small.
Hey, hey, hey, yo, baby-pop! I'm scared to pass flatulence, okay? If I pass gas, man, there'll be an explosion.
I didn't say that.
I'm only trippin', baby, okay? - Mike - I got the same pants.
What you say, Chrissy? I got the same pants.
They unbelievable.
You feeling them joints pop, I'll tell you that much.
Oh! Yeah.
Yeah, okay.
Push it real good.
Mike, head on over there, and join Terry in the V.
I.
P.
All right, round two is in the books.
Thank god.
Both of these titans brought the heat.
When we come back, a new champion will be crowned.
The moment of truth is next on "Lip Sync Battle.
" S-s-s-s-s-salt and Pepa's here and we're in effect want you to push it, babe Everybody says it's just like rock 'n' roll Welcome back to "Lip Sync Battle.
" You're never gonna see a show like this anywhere.
Iron Mike Tyson versus Terry Crews "Missile.
" Now it is time to decide Which heavyweight takes the belt.
Chrissy, let's do this.
Ready? Is the champ Mike Tyson? Or is it Terry Crews? The undisputed "Lip Sync Battle" champion is Terry Crews.
Oh, thank you! Props to Mike Tyson, props to Terry Crews for a legendary battle.
And thank you to the millions of fans at home cheering them on.
From LL Cool J and young, beautiful Chrissy Teigen, good night! And remember knock 'em out the box, L.
Knock 'em out, L.
Makin' my way downtown, walking fast faces pass, and I'm homebound starin' blankly ahead, just making my way making a way through the cro-o-wd and I need you and I miss you and now I wonder