Little Dog (2018) s01e05 Episode Script

1 Previously on Little Dog.
Alright, Tucker's running the show and doing the training around these parts.
Tucker sends Tommy out for a little delivery - before the big press conference.
- On your way.
But then he doesn't show up and everyone's waiting for him while Rico Havoc is showing off, - ogling some young lady's cupcakes.
- (RICO): Damn, those look good.
Tommy finally shows up and says a few words.
- Thank you.
- Then the boys in blue arrest him for apparently pounding the shit out of his girlfriend's Vaani's ex-husband.
Jesus! Last going off, Tommy was sulking in the backseat of a cop car.
Poor mother.
Did anyone post my bail yet? The whole town's passing the plate around to get you back out on the streets, so you can keep beating women.
(CLANKING) Your roommate's asleep.
(CLANKING) Try not to wake him, he's a beast.
(RHYTHMIC METALLIC SQUEAKING) (KICK) Seriously? Jesus, everywhere I goes! Tommy? Da Dad?! (CHUCKLING) What are you doing? - Give me a hug! - Uh, no, I'm good, man.
Tom-Tom, come hug your old man! No! No, no, no! It's good.
My God! Well welcome to the big house, son.
- Guard! - Come on.
- Give us a hug, Tommy.
- (THEME MUSIC) I don't want a hug.
Get off me! I'm hungry.
Wanna got get a pizza? - Rico can't eat that shit.
- Do you mind if I go? I could meet you back later.
- No, man.
I need you to have my back if I get swarmed by fans.
Didn't notice too many fans around the hotel this morning.
Are you Rico Havoc? One and only.
- Don't touch me, pig.
- Whoa! Whoa! Rico ain't no pig, he's a gentleman! Rico "Havoc" St.
George? - What do you have to say about the allegations? - What allegations? That you fondled an underage girl.
No, no, no.
This - Pervert! - (CAR HONKING) No, look.
You got Rico all wrong here, OK? When did you first notice the signs of paedophilia? Is it connected to concussions in the ring maybe? No, no.
See what happens was she asked Rico to This 13 year old asked you to fondle her breasts? Uh You were quoted as saying, "Damn, I'd like a taste.
- Just one little lick.
" - Yeah! Go, go, go, go! We're going! We're going! We're going! Regatta Day.
It's the little things that you miss, eh? The cold cans of beer, a shot with the boys down at Water Street, a feed at Devereaux's Fish and Chips women tits.
Your family? Your children? Little things like that? Fresh air and privacy.
- (TOILET FLUSHING) - What the hell! How is it that I'm sharing a jail cell with my father? Huh? That's gotta be against some kind of policy! Hey.
Maybe Tucker pulled some strings.
I told you I'd never work with Tucker again.
And yay, you got me tangled up in it all, didn't you? - Tucker's good people.
- Dad, stop! All right.
Come on, come on! Let's go to it! Come on! Told you I'm not training in some piss-ridden jail.
- Oh! - Defend yourself at all times.
Ah! My goodness.
Look at all that.
- Right one seems bigger than the left.
- I can't even.
Know what it is? It's Little Dog's nephew.
I should sue their asses 'til they bleed.
Yeah, molesting a teenage girl isn't unlikable enough Pam, I was admiring her cupcakes, OK? Her actual cupcakes! It was to be nice! - I don't even like kids, OK? - OK, just stop - And they weren't even that - talking, Rico.
Stop.
OK, OK, OK.
Hmm? We'll issue an apology.
God, you're just lucky if you don't have to pay that girl's way through college.
And stay off the internet, OK? And keep your hands to yourself until I get back.
Does that mean I can put my hands on you when you get back? - (DOOR CLOSING) - (SIGHING) Nobody forced you to walk out of that ring, you know, Tommy? - Oh yeah? - That's on you.
Well, my trainer did bail on me - two weeks before my fight.
- They arrested me.
For attempted manslaughter.
He shit-talked you was the reason.
Is that what it was? You're something sweet.
Too bad you weren't around when I needed you.
Look, always fight as if nobody's in your corner.
'Cause nobody ever is, really! Now, come on! Stop your moaning and let's you and me unshit the bed.
Come on, Tommy.
Get up! Come on, get up, Tommy! Come on! Come on, come on! OK.
OK.
(WOMAN): You're gonna have to take out a loan.
What? To get Tommy out of jail? What for? The whole town's watching him now, Lowly.
What would people think if I didn't go down and bail him out? - Will you ever pay me back? - No.
But I'll put your name on the house, so you don't have to worry when I die.
You old battle axe, you're never gonna die.
Thank you so much for coming, everybody.
See you next week.
Bring friends! Bring enemies! Just bring people, all right? Oh, hey.
Oh, your mom's a joke.
- Just a big, broke joke.
- Aha! You.
Yeah, you, shithead! - Can I help you? - No.
You, you set me up.
Yeah.
With the girl with the cupcakes.
And you were in on it because you were trying to make Rico look like a creep! - You don't need help with that.
- Ohhh I see what this is.
It's a smear campaign.
- And Rico wants a retraction! - Alright.
Why don't you just slow your roll there, big guy.
What is this?! What? You can't contain your self-loathing, so you smear it around and see if it sticks to someone else? God! I mean, groping an innocent girl is one thing, but you threaten my kid?! It's just not supposed to be like this, you know? The crowd belongs to Rico.
The crowd is mine! - - (RICO CRYING) Mom, come on.
Go on.
Ches, honey, why don't you go? I got this.
- Come home.
- I got this.
- Mom Fuck! - Well, why don't you Won't you have a seat.
Yeah, have a seat there.
- Yeah.
- OK, listen, listen.
Hey.
Look you want to beat my brother to a pulp, right? OK.
Well, in order to beat him in the ring you need to beat him in here first.
You don't need the crowd to love you.
You need to Luv Yourself Mean.
Like like rubbing one out? I mean, the world is against you, right? I can show you how to use that, - make you strong.
- Yeah, but you're his sister.
Please! Yeah, Tommy ran out on all of us.
What? I'm supposed to root for him just so he can do it again? No! No.
I I need a winner.
You're a winner, right, Rico? Here's a taste of the old spunk! Oh yeah! OK, you want to reach up there now.
Get it up there! Get it up there, yeah! I'm tasting your spunk now! Yeah! I'm tasting your spunk.
Is there some other word you could use maybe? What? Other than spunk? - Yeah.
- I guess.
How about hutzpah? Tasting your hutzpah? Yeah? That works.
OK, come on.
Come on! OK, I'm tasting your hutzpah now! Yeah, I'm tasting it! Yeah, good! (CLANKING) Adorable.
Someone's here to bail you out.
(CELL DOOR UNLOCKING) Tommy, we we need more time.
(SIGHING) Listen, who, uh who posted my bail? - (BUZZING) - Who brought this stuff in? Sign here.
I'll take that.
Every bit helps after what I forked over for your bail.
- Not you.
- Yes, me.
Who else? I'm your mother.
Not to brag about these things.
- I'll take the bus.
- You can't read? You just agreed to make your mother your surety.
- Wherever you go, she goes, until court.
- Lowly Jr.
is on there as well.
- Can't be tied to him like a dog.
- Yeah, that's right, you're the dog.
You don't walk Mom; we walk you.
Call if he gives you any trouble.
I'll be happy to shove him in the hole.
(LOWLY CHUCKLING) Now, just listen.
- I'm just going to the clinic.
- Off! Off to see that Vaani woman.
Well, I haven't had a lunch; we're going home.
No.
Listen, I got crabs in jail, Mother, all right? So it needs treatment.
Haha! You don't need to see a doctor for that.
You need some bit of gasoline and cayenne pepper.
- Works perfect.
- I'm going to the clinic.
Fine! Lowly Jr.
can go with you.
But don't be late for regatta dinner.
- Empty.
- Fuck off.
Fuck off! Yeah, it's terminal.
Yeah, you're not growing out of that.
Hi.
Hi.
Why are you guys here? It's, um, medical.
Yeah.
Doc, he's got this swelling around his groin, and it's about yea big.
Dick jokes aren't funny.
I mean, I suppose if a woman makes it, it can sometimes work, but when dudes come in here drawing attention to their penises to be charming? No.
I I didn't even say anything.
I - Ah! Jesus! - I wasn't - Ah! Ah! - (VELCRO-REMOVING NOISE) Aaah! Look I think Milo getting a beating actually helped him move on, but I still don't condone violence.
- No.
Me either.
- Tommy, we're chalk and cheese.
You and Milo? - You and me.
- I'm the chalk, and you're the cheese, right? Because cheese is like exotic and tasty and expensive.
It doesn't matter who the cheese is.
We just don't go together.
I'd rather be chalk.
Cheese, I mean, - isn't it just moldy milk? - Bacteria.
Look, they came and said that someone was here to bail me out, and for some reason, I just thought it was gonna be you.
Why would I do that? - I just thought we had - (LOWLY): Regatta.
Mm-hmm.
- (WHISPERING): Regatta.
- You, shut up.
Look, we're having a family dinner.
It's, uh We do it every year, it's Regatta day, and I just thought maybe you'd want to come along with me.
And that's all.
- No.
No, I don't think so.
- OK.
OK, thank you.
(VAANI): Tommy (DOOR SLAMMING) You don't think he's chalk; you think he's a loser! (DOOR CLOSING) Days were warmer then When we laughed with the old fishermen (KNOCKING ON GLASS) Time for us all to say grace.
- What's "grace"? - (LOWLY LAUGHING) We say grace on Regatta Day.
Do you celebrate Regatta Day, Vaani? I love the regatta.
I rode on the hospital team for years.
Isn't she grand? She rows and she heals.
Hmm - Ahem! - And we waited for the sun to shine - On a grey, foggy day - But do you sing, Vaani? No.
I can't really carry a tune.
Ah Well, we all have things we're good at.
See? Dear, merciful Mary, mother of Jesus, thank you for giving me the strength to hold this family together despite their keenness to display their weakness.
I know you must hold a special place in heaven for me if I am to endure such suffering here on Earth.
Amen.
- Beautiful.
- Rico took my seminar.
Mom, you can't work with Rico Havoc.
Oh, please.
Knotting that man's soul will pay for your college.
- To wake in the early morn - Tommy.
Sylvia.
Let me look at you.
You've not aged a bit.
I aged the day you fired Chesley.
And wait for the men to return With their boats in the bay All these things I know - You're Tommy Ross, aren't you? - Yeah, maybe.
I'm rooting for you Thanksgiving weekend.
Hey, Little Dog.
You kick that pervert Rico's ass, yeah? Please.
Tommy is just here having a quiet dinner with his mother.
I'm so proud of my Little Dog.
- Here's to Tommy's mother! - (PEOPLE): Cheers! Man, this is messed up.
Tommy goes to jail, we throw him a party.
It's your party too, love.
- It's everybody's party.
- He's a special guest.
All right, Mom? I'm all special now? Nobody's special.
It's Regatta Day! Lowly just waiting for you to throw him a pickle party.
Remember pickle parties, Lowly? I used to throw parties for the boys with pickles.
- How sweet.
- Yeah.
No, not the boys.
- Lowly, not me.
- Both of you.
- How come not for me? - You didn't eat pickles, you were still on the tit.
I breastfed my children.
Lowly, do you remember one pickle party that was for me? Lowly didn't eat green things.
He was frail.
Tommy ate everything in sight.
Yeah, Tommy was a bottomless pit, wasn't he? He was all gobble-gobble, all pig.
- (GRUNTING LIKE A PIG) - Awww, poor neglected Tommy.
- No one ever had it so bad.
- Don't.
- You were always jealous of Lowly.
- Was I? WOOOHOOOO! - PICKLE PARTY FOR LOWLY! - (CHESLEY LAUGHING) WOOHOOHOOHOO! Pickle party for Lowly! Is that what I was jealous of, Mother? Jesus Christ.
Oh, you remember roundy pickles, Mom? - Don't, Tommy! - Huh? The roundy pickle was Lowly's favourite.
- Only Lowly was allowed to eat the roundy pickle.
- What's the roundy pickle? Oh, uh, well, I don't know.
- By my estimation, I think, it's a fucking onion! - Mom! - I don't even like onions! - There's no such thing as a roundy pickle, - is there, Sylvia? - That's bullshit! I'll ask the doctor.
Here look.
Take a look at that, look.
Now you tell me, Doctor, "do" that look like a roundy pickle to you or "do" that look like an onion? When we laughed with the old fishermen - I'm pretty sure it's an onion.
- Damn! Of course you take his side! - Mom? - Mom? - Mom? - Mom? - Did you lie to me? - (SYLVIA SOBBING) - Oh, you're such a bitch! - Oooh (WHISPERING): This is a family establishment.
A FAMILY! And we waited for the sun - To shine on a grey foggy day - Sylvia, I remembered you had an affinity for wild blueberry crumble.
Now, these are Southern Shore blueberries.
- I picked them meself.
- Mother would never with the likes of you! Stop it, Lowly! Stop that right now! He's just trying to get down your pants! - Oh! - Aaah! No, Chesley! Do not get involved! Why don't you go help Rico! I'm out of here! Chesley! Chesley! Don't be a shithead! Chesley! - Lowly, calm down.
- (VAANI): This is what all the trouble's about? All right.
This is kind of a family dinner, you know? And I'm not family? Now, that really stings, Tommy boy.
And here's me trying to protect you down in the clink, making sure you got quality time - to spend with the old man.
- Well, thanks.
- Got a training exercise for you.
- No, I - (TUCKER LAUGHING) - (INDISTINCT SONG PLAYING) You are funny.
Ha ha! You think I'm asking, but I'm not asking.
Tommy's under my surety, Tucker.
- Hmm? - He is to be in the presence of a family member at all times.
Or he goes back to jail.
Huh? And if he goes back to jail, I'm gonna have to tell them things to get him out.
Things I know.
Things you and my husband got up to all those years.
Pay the bill, Tommy.
Let's go.
Well, my heart is full of joy being here with all ye today.
And you, you enjoy the rest of your evening now.
I can hardly believe Someone that I love that much Has forgotten about me - (DOOR CLOSING) - Uh, thanks for inviting me.
That was something.
Watching reruns of Who's The Boss While a good dog is lost And a tired clerk at the counter says Every day in tiny ways, we disappear On a night like this It's better him than me out there But a good dog is lost What if I was helping Uncle Tommy by twisting Rico's mind inside out? - Think about that.
- Don't lie, Mom.
I gotta do something.
It's just us, Ches.
It's just you and me, and I have to take care of you so Mom will stop calling Child Services.
- She wouldn't do that.
- She does that for every little thing.
I mean, they know she's crazy, but still.
I guess I'll just go out - And drive around - Crazy's better than homeless.
Which we will be if my business tanks.
- You want Uncle Tommy to win? - A good dog is lost Well, if he wins, yay! If he doesn't win, I still have to make that a "yay" for me somehow.
Because the only thing that matters is that everything is a "yay" for you.
(WHISTLING A TUNE) What is it you want? What, hmm? Raised you, bailed you out of jail; what more do you want from me? Pickle? Is that it? (DISTANT DOG BARKING) Pickle party for Tommy.
Woo! Woo! Pickle party for Tommy! - Is that what you want? - (PERCUSSION MUSIC) - Is it? - Argh! Dance! Got your very own pickle party now! Come on, be happy! Come on, Lowly, let's go for a walk.
Lowly, don't you dare! Come on, Low.
Don't you dare! I'll call the cops! Lowly! Call 'em.
(DOOR OPENING) - (DOOR CLOSING) - (PERCUSSIVE MUSIC)