LOL: Last One Laughing Germany (2021) s01e05 Episode Script

1
Oh, God, stop it!
Shit!
It's humor when it hurts.
You stupid swine!
-I think I got it.
-Shut up!
I have to buzz.
Who was it?
-Are you coming?
-Yes, nothing I can do about it.
I think I'm permanently damaged by it.
Have you got an act?
Yes, I could do something.
-Go ahead. They need pressure.
-Okay, good.
Let's send in Barbara.
I like to laugh.
And I really like
making other people laugh,
but I'm afraid that this is
an awful audience, to be honest.
Watch out.
Teddy, watch out.
You can laugh.
I'm allowed to laugh. I'm out.
Did you never ask yourself
why they call me Honk-Babsi?
Um, no.
Yes, I asked myself that once or twice.
Now, listen,
I brought you some musical pieces
and you have to guess
which song it is. Okay?
-Okay.
-Okay?
-Chicken dance!
-Yes.
-Yes, what is it?
-No idea.
I Will Survive.
Bohemian Rhapsody.
It's the Flea Waltz.
But that was already pretty good.
-One point for you.
-Thanks.
Not being allowed to laugh
and at the same time figuring out songs?
That was all
My brain has only limited capacity.
Now, next one.
Can we gain a life back?
No, you cannot gain any lives,
only lose them.
-Next song.
-Are we still friends?
When you look into Barbara's eyes,
you just have to laugh.
Wait. The knee is always a bit stuck.
What is she doing there?
Personally, that was very bad for me,
because that one horn
didn't work quite right.
-Could you stay in rhythm?
-That's a waltz.
What is Anke doing?
Yes, Anke's fighting.
Yes, yes, yes.
She nearly laughed, but only nearly.
-Bye. It was really nice coming back here.
-Bye!
Bye.
-Barbara, we love you.
-I'll be watching.
I see it all.
It's hard not to laugh,
when she's on, right?
-And she's allowed to laugh. That's mean.
-Impossible.
My nickname Honk-Babsi
finally makes sense.
Can we talk in English?
A Fred.
Feels like it.
Oh, look!
-Nice. That's good.
-A clown, huh?
That's awesome.
You can't talk, right? Yes.
-Great.
-I wanted to show you the costume.
It is awesome.
That's really awesome.
You'd wear that with nothing underneath?
Was that always his plan?
To shave himself semi-bald
and then come out as this dumb clown?
That was really hard.
Anything in there?
Is there anything in there? One thing.
Okay.
I'll sit with you.
-I'll look away, okay?
-Yes, all right.
That was a really tough situation
that we've survived there.
I'm going to change real quick, if I may.
Would you
-Excuse me for a second.
-Get your stuff.
Yes.
Don't start,
because I think that's really funny.
Antoine's strength is
that he's completely free.
And it's great that he can do all that.
You're Anke Engelke, yes?
You're on TV, right?
Also nice.
It suits him.
Anja.
Anja, I swear on my mother,
back when I saw you on TV,
I was always like,
"What's going on, yo?" You know?
I'm new. It's just been a year
But weren't you on TV before?
Yes, but
with Heino.
Weren't you dating him?
Oh, God.
No way around it.
No.
I don't blame myself, honestly.
Hey, if someone asks you,
"Hey, were you dating Heino?"
Who wouldn't laugh?
Okay. Let's have a look
at the video evidence. And watch!
And
Hey, Teddy, you're the killer here.
Hey! But we'll never know
if I was dating Heino.
-Right.
-You can tell us in the back,
-after you buzz out.
-No!
-Oh, God.
-Oh, God. Oh, God.
Hey, you have to stay.
-Stay. Hang in there.
-Okay.
Anke was one of my favorites.
I thought she would make it.
I thought Anke would just suppress
her laughter through acting discipline.
Anke's laughter
almost dragged me down with her.
-Anke Engelke!
-Anke.
Now I'm going to watch it with Bully.
I still don't know if she was dating him.
Heino.
Okay, only four left.
Run, boy, run!
Run!
Run, now!
Final spurt!
Final spurt, buddy, final spurt!
You can do it!
-Teddy's really cranking it up.
-He's the most active.
Run, come on!
I told you, this thing is working.
That's my new invention.
Final spurt!
You can do it!
What did I tell you?
You can use it for everything.
If your chest is tensed up.
For a massage.
-Sure, also good.
-Watch
Ah, it's good.
Also good.
He shaved his head. I forgot about that.
Yes, we should finish the job.
Don't you agree?
My pleasure. Shall I get the device?
Yes, please.
Kurt, are you up for it?
Go finish them off.
-Yes?
-Yes. Go on.
A barber chair now?
Sit down.
Did you prepare something?
I'm just standing here.
Okay. Cool.
Just standing here enjoying myself.
What did I get myself into?
Hello!
That's a fucking nightmare.
All right. Now I'm back again.
I think it's a shame
that I was kicked out.
So do we.
I thought in this type of format
I would win, because I've
never actually laughed,
if you know me, right?
That was such a nasty situation
because it was my task
to get someone kicked out,
or everyone, if possible.
I went to the hospital.
Because something can't be right with me.
I'm going to be 46 years old and now
I start laughing.
I was certain of victory.
I wanted the money
in advance, put it in my pocket.
Because I thought
I'd win it anyway.
Look at me, everybody now.
Everybody look at me now.
It's a very sad story.
Happened two days ago.
Bam!
My dog dies.
Yo!
He was 45 years old.
Forty-five.
Have you ever seen a dog
that lives to be 45?
I didn't even know 45 existed.
Of course.
We were born in the same hospital.
Born at the same time.
I'm just shaving Max Giermann's head
hearing, "That dog is the same age as me."
And I thought,
"Leave me, Krömer."
Times were different back then.
Back then dogs and everything
were born in one room. Whatever.
And now he's dead.
Look!
Alfredo Zalambo.
It's naked.
Anna Maria Jürgen
Manfred. Dead.
Is that a wire-haired Dachshund?
Don't make fun of it, Teddy.
Don't make fun of it.
Sleazy tricks.
Yes, laugh! Laugh already!
Kurt was really getting to me.
Look at him! That is suffering.
-I don't want to.
-In the end he only had three legs.
Three legs, two of which he could use.
Is that from the lineage
Don't make fun of it.
That's not appropriate.
Don't laugh.
Dead dogs are not funny.
Did you just kiss the dog?
Yes, it was my favorite dog.
Have fun, guys.
May the best one win.
I'm out.
-Glad you were here.
-My picture.
-Can I borrow it?
-No! It's funeral time.
Take care.
Look, no. Guys, you can't.
You can't do that.
It's possible that I lost control.
Yes, I Same for me.
Same for me.
This whole thing
is a complete freak show, right?
One gets his head shaved bald
by a policeman, while Kurt Krömer
is talking about a dead dog.
And I totally get
that you can't stick it out.
Okay, the video evidence, please.
Look. Look. That
How are you supposed to keep this up?
He shows up with his bald-shaved dog.
-And he shaves him. I
-Yes, I know.
I'm not a machine.
I think something died inside of me.
But it's also kind of nice.
It's nice to be allowed to laugh now.
-Big respect, right?
-Hey!
I made it this far.
It was a shame when anyone left.
But I always thought,
"Luckily, it wasn't me."
Good, we have a police officer
with one life,
-we have
-My goodness.
-Antoine.
-What? Antoine? With one life.
And Max, the man without hair,
two lives.
Well, I'm curious.
-Will you last?
-Well
I'm curious. Good luck.
He'll make it hard, right?
It just became more and more crazy
and a strange ambition emerges.
It's a strange mixture.
It's like an experiment.
-Oh, God, gosh.
-Awesome, isn't it?
The head shape is perfect.
What do you think?
Sublime.
Even if it looked dumb, it's short now.
I thought to myself,
we all had our heads shaved,
either 10 minutes or 2 weeks ago,
and I thought, "It's the three of us now.
"How will it end?"
Like the Village People,
even with a policeman. Here we go.
Where's my gin?
When we were the last three, it was like
at the Olympics
with a gold, silver, bronze.
I realized,
"This is going to be really hard."
I'm also scared,
but I'm motivated.
Shall we sing?
Singing is bad.
I have Coincidentally I have
thought of a song.
-Coincidentally.
-Okay.
Do you want to hear it?
-Actually, no.
-Yes.
-No?
-Yes.
Yes, absolutely.
It became really exhausting.
Mentally exhausting, knowing,
"Okay, we're the only ones here
and we have to perform."
Let's vote. Who wants to hear it?
Who doesn't?
Oh, it's a tie, right?
Again. Who wants to hear it?
Who wants to hear it?
Got it.
Teddy is extremely disciplined.
You expect anything with him. I'm curious.
I just can't laugh.
Are you there?
Yes!
Yes.
Ladies and gentlemen,
my gracious lordship,
my dear ladies and gentlemen,
my whole staff
For your attention
and constant affection,
we thank you
on behalf of the whole company.
I still have the text from my old company.
And I always perform it before the song.
The song is called
Mona Lisa, I'm Mona Lisa,
Where Am I, Where Are My Butts?
Oh, shit.
I'm such a culture-conscious guy,
so I brought Mona Lisa from behind
and gave people a taste of culture.
Close your eyes.
Max, can you please stop?
Teddy tortured me a lot,
because he didn't stop.
He always
He goes on, he's like a machine,
nonsense just keeps pouring out of him.
It was tough.
It'll kill them.
That's it. Wait till they open their eyes.
Open your eyes!
I am Mona Lisa
Can we open our eyes?
-Where are my butts?
-Open them.
Oh, look at Max. Look
Where are my butts?
I want to take a lunch break
I am Mona Lisa
I'll pack my
Pack my things soon
Shit, how am I going to do this?
I am just a painting
That's just too hilarious.
I am just a painting, huh?
I have no things
I'm just a painting
With that line there,
I'm not yet finished with the word.
Like a shoe.
Torture.
This is a highlight among
the titanic battles of humankind.
Seriously.
Torsten is tough as nails. Look.
Does anybody have butts?
Not on me.
Shit, I can't smoke anyways, you know?
Anyone else in the museum?
-Yes. The two of us out here.
-The supervisor
Has it been busy today?
Not too bad. People came, people left.
Can I ask you a question?
Seriously? Yes.
Do I look better from the side?
-Or?
-Or like this?
-Much more attractive in semi-profile.
-Definitely.
More feminine.
But without denying your male core.
It had to be said.
I'm not done yet. Hold on.
Yes, I thought so.
Wow, that Teddy's a killer.
He'll finish them off.
And now the chorus.
Mona Lisa
You are my best friend
You are my flower in the forest
In the forest you are almost alone
Your life I would
You are like a tender flower for me
Let your heart fall in my direction
And show me your endless before
Love before
I reach
I'm not done yet.
The performance is still going.
Yes.
What's happening here? Stress? Stress!
-Max.
-Stress.
Please.
Over the course,
Teddy actually became my
My torturer.
I'm a little hopping rabbit
I fell into a fairy tale
Oh, I'm awake
Where are the princes?
Where is the world of the pearl marbles?
Where are the marbles?
Everything Teddy did
sanded off another layer.
It was wearing thin.
My nerves were like tissue.
You could peek through with a candle.
Where is the treasure chest?
I found a treasure chest.
Real gold.
That's it.
Max sat there crying.
And I thought he was moved, right?
So I thought,
I'll give him another story.
I've got another song.
No, I think not
Should we eat, hungry?
-Max, are you okay?
-Yes, not bad.
Everything is fine.
No, I'm not really hungry.
Teddy put me through the wringer
until tears came out.
War was on.
The song is
from the '80s when I wrote this.
-Boy.
-It's a little rap song.
I run across the street
Are you the one who
Are you
Are you the one that's doing the
It's been a while. One minute.
At the end, when everybody's tired,
that's when it gets awful.
Once you're tired, you laugh at anything.
That's the most dangerous part.
I'm the one who
I feel your tenderness in my heart
Your willingness
Kidnap me
On a white horse
On a unicorn
I'm really a nice guy,
but everyone is only ever after my body.
That's it. That's
This is really crappy now.
I wonder what this is for.
If you find out, I'm gone.
Dangerous.
Torsten is just a tough dog.
Get out! Get out!
-Hey, how are you?
-Good, and you?
This sucks now.
Better. Much better.
I think we have a winner.