Long Way Down (2007) s01e05 Episode Script

1
Back in 2004,
my friend Charley Boorman and I
rode from London round to New York, east.
And we called the trip the Long Way Round.
We did it! New York!
It's Ewan and I living out a dream
on motorbikes.
Shortly after we got back,
we decided it was definitely something
that we wanted to do again.
We started talking about Africa.
And we're calling this trip Long Way Down.
We're gonna ride 15,000 miles
through 18 countries.
From John O'Groats,
through Europe and into Africa.
Across Libya to Egypt,
following the Nile south into the Sudan.
Crossing the equator
and over to the Skeleton Coast.
Arriving in Cape Town
85 days later.
We're gonna give these guys video cameras,
and they'll also have cameras
with microphones on their crash helmets,
so they can film as they're riding along.
There's a bit of tarmac.
Look at that!
A third motorcycle will travel with them,
and on that motorcycle will be Claudio,
a cameraman.
In addition, Russ and I will travel in
two 4x4s with Jimmy, another cameraman,
Dai, our medic, and Jim,
a cameraman who will help with security.
We'll be filming the guys
from the vehicles,
linking up with them at borders.
But otherwise,
the motorcycles will be on their own.
Got sun on my face ♪
Sleeping rough on the road ♪
I'll tell you all about it ♪
When I get home ♪
Comin' round to meet you ♪
The long way down ♪
- Morning, Ewan.
- Morning, Charley.
How'd you sleep?
Not one of my best sleeps,
I think it's safe to say.
All right, though.
Well, Charley, we're on a bit of tarmac.
That's mainly all I care about.
And we're heading to Khartoum.
Meet this junction and cut across
all the way to Khartoum here.
This is the road to Khartoum.
Look at this! It's a nice road.
Thank you.
They rode their bikes to Khartoum,
and then they got knocked over
crossing the road.
We're gonna try and get up to
the roof here to have a look at the Nile.
We've been told that it's a great place to
be able to see the meetings of the water.
Welcome to you. Welcome to the Hilton.
- I have to explain something.
- Yes?
That now, of course, we are having
the Vice President of Iraq.
- And the hotel is full of security.
- Yes.
- He's just going to come up first.
- Okay.
Tell him that three people come.
- What's your name, sir?
- Peter.
The Vice President of Iraq is here
with his guys.
And he was very funny. He said, "I want
you to go up on the roof and see the Nile,
but at the same time,
I don't want you to get shot."
This is the rooftop where we'll see
the meeting of the Niles.
So which side is it?
- Oh, my God.
- Wow, it's huge.
Blisteringly hot.
There? There, right?
- Well, that's the same. It's here.
- Oh, no. Here.
It's here, so it meets there, I suppose.
Cool. Done it. All right, let's say we go.
Actually, the story was much more
interesting of getting up here, wasn't it?
- Thank you very much.
- Thank you.
Claudio's bike's been fixed
and we're gonna start heading
for the Ethiopian border.
It's baking hot.
I think it's nearly 40 degrees.
I'm hot. I just feel soaking wet
in my trousers.
It's just a horrible feeling.
Oh, bloody hell.
France, you know,
it was pissing with rain,
and dreaming of the Sudan.
And certainly at one stage,
I did think about the rain,
and thinking how nice that would be.
- How is it to have your baby back?
- Really good.
So you're the only one left
with these shocks.
Are you gonna leave it on there?
Yeah, there's no point.
I don't think there's any point
in changing it.
Yesterday, Charley and I came down,
coming down here,
and there's a town called Al Dabbah.
And at Al Dabbah,
there's the only petrol station for miles,
so we were asking people as we went along.
And we knew that you had to go into town
to find the petrol,
so we were going along and we stopped
every five or so person we saw,
we're going, "Where's the petrol station?"
And they all make it quite clear
with their gestures
that it's that way and then that way,
but you don't know when that way is,
so you keep stopping, keep asking people.
We stopped next to this one cat,
who had a big turban
and the white flowing robes,
and he was just standing
at the side of the road.
He was very nice. He shook Charley's hand.
And I pulled up beside,
and he shook my hand.
And then Charley said,
"We're looking for Al Dabbah?
Al Dabbah for petrol? Benzene?"
And he went
And I think what he was trying to do
was speak in our language.
That's maybe what it sounded like to him.
He was fantastic.
And we knew exactly what he meant.
We thanked him very much, and on we went.
We're leaving Khartoum.
Yeah, feel quite ready
for a couple of hundred miles.
Bloody hot now, though.
Nice to get out of town.
Hello, welcome.
How are you? Ewan. Charley.
Crazy.
What are the airplanes? Why are they here?
Airport.
There's a little community
of people, I think, that live here.
We came across
some old airplanes, which was wonderful.
They just reminded me of Casablanca,
you know, from that era.
Just make sure there's no one in there.
- Hello?
- Everything is still here.
You can see everything
Yeah, all the clocks
are still there.
We had a good look round the planes,
and it was really nice.
It was just a kind of random, weird thing
to find in the middle of nowhere.
Slow down then, you tit.
These roads
are really dangerous, actually.
It's the first time
I've been sort of scared on a road.
We've just come across this crash.
Apparently, it happened very early
in the morning.
- Yeah.
- And the guy apparently fell asleep.
And then crashed.
This is the driver of that truck.
And he's saying that he fell asleep.
And he's thanking He's very lucky.
When we arrived, all these
people came out and they were cheering,
and they were having a right laugh.
They'd obviously just been standing round
the crash site all day long,
you know, and really had
something to talk about today.
My new friend.
- My friend. You are friend.
- Yes, another friend.
We need to find a place to sleep.
- Sorry.
- A tent.
After, after
- And that's 20 kilometers?
- Look, he's on my bike.
What are you gonna do when the head
of police is sitting on your bike?
You can't tell him to get off. Can you?
Fuck, I bet he drops it.
I bet you he drops it, right?
I bet you a fiver he drops it.
Careful. Very heavy.
It starts here.
Oh, careful, careful, careful, careful
Pressed start
and he just rode off on Ewan's bike.
And I thought, "Oh, no, no, no, no!"
Careful, careful.
Thanks, Charley,
for letting him do that.
I didn't know he was gonna do it.
Careful of that sand.
He's coming off.
No. No, he's not.
He's doing all right, actually.
He seemed to know
exactly what he was doing,
and he rode it very competently.
And I thought, "Well, what can you do?
It's the head of police.
If he wants to ride my bike,
there's nothing I can do about it."
Bye-bye.
We were looking for
a place to camp, as it was getting dark.
And I feel properly in Africa now,
you know,
that the trip has really, seriously begun.
There is a change in people's faces
already, isn't there?
You know, getting more of middle Africa,
getting darker and slightly changing.
That's the impression I get, anyway.
What we know about Sudan
is Darfur, and Chad and that trouble.
That's what we
That's all we've heard about Sudan.
My experience is nothing to do
with that, really.
My experience has been of friendly people,
and even the fact that we're from Britain
and a couple of guys are from America,
you know, you might think that would,
in a Muslim area,
maybe make us unpopular.
But even that's been
I've never not said that I'm from Britain,
and I've never had a negative response
about it, have you?
Yeah, I never once
felt threatened by anybody, you know?
It was a good day, though.
Turned out to be a great day.
And when we woke up in the morning,
it turned out it was a brick-making place,
and this was just
where the brick-makers camped.
It was fascinating to see how they do
make bricks from the clay earth.
So, look, they dig this rough earth there,
then they soften it up with water.
This is what they must form
the brick shapes in.
God, it looks like real archaic,
chain gang stuff.
You know these guys aren't getting paid
very much money at all, I bet.
They lay them out flat till they dry a bit
and they stack them up like that.
Wood underneath and around,
and tie at the sides,
then make a big fire.
It makes them hard.
We're going to the Ethiopian border,
and just a bit of a slog today
to get there.
We left early, but
we've still got, I don't know, 250 miles.
I think we should be there
by midday maybe.
There's monkeys. There's monkeys!
There's monkeys, there's monkeys,
there's monkeys
There are monkeys.
Well, here we are in baboon land.
And it's just a sign of the change
of Africa that we're going through now.
We've seen lots of camels and everything,
but these are our first baboons
that we've ever seen.
We're out of Sudan,
and we're in no-man's-land,
and just up ahead is Ethiopia.
I have to speak to my agent about
billing, of course, but there we are.
But they just did it on the alphabetical.
Yes, sure, sure. That old chestnut.
Yes, yes.
Ta-da! Let's see our Ethiopian stamp.
Ethiopia.
You actually have two phases.
One is border control for passports,
then it's actually customs.
And we're carrying so much stuff
that depending upon who you bump into
they could either sit there and look
at the paperwork and say, "Okay,"
or they could actually ask you to
take it all apart and look at everything.
What he's saying is
customs is closed now. It's 6:00.
And they want to do a three-hour-long
inspection of all the goods.
I think they'll need us
to camp here tonight.
- Well, that's all right.
- That's all right.
We've gotta go back
into that fenced area over there.
- Cool.
- Can we get the bikes in?
- Yeah. So let's drive in there.
- All right, good.
As long as we get the bikes in,
I can sleep anywhere.
She laughs
like a little squirrel or something.
We could be here for six or seven days.
You never know.
I'm sure they'll get it sorted
in the morning and we'll push on.
It's nice, though. It feels different,
doesn't it? Very different.
It's so weird, these borders.
Lines in the ground, on the map.
And they actually do change.
Everything changes over them.
There's lots of clouds, actually.
I wonder if it will rain.
End of this month is when
the rainy season is supposed to start,
which means it could start from now on,
really, it could do.
Here we are in the middle of a rainstorm.
Lightning, thunder and all sorts.
It's very dramatic.
It sounded fantastic.
I was lying in my tent
listening to the rain, going, "Oh, yeah!"
After having crossed the Sahara
and being in the desert,
and here we are, lying in a tent
and it's pouring with rain.
Good morning.
You could easily take two days
at some of these border crossings
if you're getting the paperwork wrong.
You get the wrong stamp in the wrong place
and then you have to keep going
backwards and forwards.
And if you can't speak the local language,
which you can't in Africa.
It's impossible to know
every single language.
It would just be almost impossible.
But the customs guy's looked at,
I think, the things he wanted to look at.
We've repacked everything away,
and I think we're just waiting for stamps
and papers and passports,
that kind of thing.
So we're in pretty good shape.
We're actually running up
right now to Gonder,
and then up to the north western most town
in Ethiopia, right up against the border.
We're obliged to have
two armed guards with us.
So we've got clearance now to ride
out of the customs compound, so we're off.
We're gonna ride into Ethiopia.
Here we go.
Ewan and Charley decided
that they'd ride on
ahead of us today, which is a good idea.
But all the guns for hire are with us,
so hopefully that was the right decision.
We climbed up and we just
met with thousands of cattle, and sheep,
and animals and people
coming down the road towards us.
Anyway, it turned out that
this time in the year,
all the animals from the highlands
get brought down to the lowlands
because of the rainy season.
It's incredible how it changes.
Over the border, just bosh.
Completely different world.
Desert, border.
Ethiopia, green, village land.
Amazing. So much more wildlife,
and a difference in religion as well,
of course.
It's mainly Muslim in Sudan,
mainly Christian here.
We're in Gonder,
and it's kind of mad.
I suppose it's the sort of first day
in a new country.
You just don't quite know
how it all figures out.
There's not one person
around the bikes. Look.
- No, none.
- They're not interested in our stuff.
- They're just interested in us, I think.
- Yeah, absolutely.
One guy recognized me. This kid out here
in the yellow T-shirt recognized me.
He went, "You make movies?"
And I went, "Yeah."
He said, "Why did you not arrive
in a big car?"
I said, "Well, because I'm doing a trip
on a motorbike," blah, blah, blah.
He said, "Do you have a bodyguard?"
And I said, "I have ten of them.
They're all around so be very careful."
Good, let's hit the road, Jack.
The whole landscape, people,
it's just changed.
Everyone's wearing colors. Everyone seemed
really smiley, and waved and nice.
The whole thing has just been amazing.
From the minute we left the border,
we were riding through little villages
with children in rags and dirty feet
and runny eyes,
and kids coming up and begging and saying,
"Give me money, give me pen."
Give me money! Money!
These little, poor creatures
who are cheeky and funny.
Over the days, they just break your heart.
And they're everywhere.
They come out of the woodwork.
You stop anywhere, and suddenly,
you're surrounded by these kids.
It would be nice to be able
to get the bikes up in here.
But I don't think there's any way through.
Good day, though.
Good first day in Ethiopia.
- You.
- You, you.
We come from London.
That's Charley there, look.
Charley!
- Hello.
- Hello.
- Hello. Hello.
- Hello.
Now listen here, you children,
I want you all to go away
and come back with some roasted goat.
I want a big leg of goat for me,
one for Charley. Big goats.
We'll eat
Okay? We'll have a fire.
We'll have a bloody good time.
Now hurry up.
Be back before sunset.
Oh, jeez!
I think we could be in for it.
People coming out
of the woodwork now. Look.
All these little wet people.
Bye-bye. Bye-bye!
Bye-bye, bye-bye.
Amazing kids.
- Aren't they amazing?
- They keep you busy, huh?
- They were great, weren't they?
- They kept you busy.
All right, I suppose
that's it then, guys, is it?
No point in hanging outside.
I'll see you tomorrow. Sleep well.
Rainy night in Ethiopia.
It'll be early in the morning, guys.
Good night.
Smiley.
Come in, Claudio. They've asked for us
for a nice cup of tea.
So, it looks amazing.
For all to see.
Oh! Time to get up.
It's a beautiful place, this,
the more you look into bits and pieces.
There's lovely little hand prints
of children.
I don't know if they do it
for every child that's born
or something like that that. They must do.
And there's beautiful shelves here
cut out of the mud,
and all the wood at the top
is all blackened with smoke.
It's an amazing place.
Incredible tea.
Just ginger
and they've boiled it up so beautifully.
He, I think, is our host, the chief.
It's good.
Smells good. Thank you.
Again, we are meeting
people who have absolutely nothing,
who are willing to share what they have
with us, you know?
Who sit in their homes
and make us tea and give us food,
and are proud of their land,
and it's been phenomenal.
Breathtaking, isn't it?
Literally breathtaking.
It's so high up we sometimes
just go into the clouds, you know?
Drive right into them.
- Wow! My God!
- Look at that!
Now that was worth the ride up, wasn't it?
Just that view alone.
Bloody hell.
Wow
Wow, look at that.
It just goes straight down.
- On top of the world!
- Look at that.
It looks like you're looking right down
at it, doesn't it?
It does.
Could be in a little helicopter.
God, that is incredible.
Just beautiful.
And there's stuff hanging off the trees.
It's like a moss or something
hanging off the trees.
- Very Tim Burton that, isn't it?
- Yeah, very Tim Burton.
We're heading up
towards the Eritrean border.
And the road just became
incredible for riding
that you could possibly imagine ever.
I just pinch myself sometimes,
that we've ridden these motorcycles
from John O'Groats.
There were monkeys everywhere.
I'm talking hundreds of monkeys
all flipping rocks over, and eating bugs,
and scratching themselves
and all that kind of funny stuff,
with big baboon bottoms.
There's so many of them.
It's quite incredible how many there are.
It was a real difficult trek
to get up to the Eritrean border.
It was a real challenge
over these switchback mountains,
going up to 3,900 meters,
back down again to 2,000,
back up, back down.
But real hairpin, gravel roads.
It was crazy.
We're on our way
to the Simien National Park.
These are the Ethiopian highlands,
which is funny
because Ewan was just talking about
how much it was beginning
to remind him of Scotland.
But it's now beginning
to feel like that too.
This is some
of the heaviest rain I've ever ridden in.
And I've ridden in some heavy rain,
let me tell you.
This is unbelievable.
I'll never forget this.
Look at it. I'm in a mud bath.
You've got to take
the rough with the smooth, haven't you?
This is gonna put my little tent
to the test,
because it's over there covered in rocks.
It's just the rain is just a bore,
because it stops you doing
anything, really.
We are actually, remarkably still
on some sort of schedule.
And all the UNICEF people
are waiting to meet us,
so we've been trying to make sure
that we don't hold all those people up.
This whole area
has been just covered in land mines.
And some date back
from the Second World War.
And it's a huge process,
and so UNICEF are here trying to help
and get that sorted out.
This part of the country,
the demining teams have gone through it,
but we're told to still be very careful.
Perhaps 80% of the mines
have been cleared from these minefields,
but that means that
there is potential for accidents.
That's awful.
We'll be meeting, at the first stop,
will be this young guy, Tesfu,
who is now 20 years old.
And it was about six years ago,
when he and his family moved
back to their home,
they got back home,
and as he stepped out of his front door,
he stepped on a land mine,
and lost one of his legs.
Literally one step and it changes
your whole life, doesn't it?
Right, just below the knee.
And there's still shrapnel in his leg?
And is that what's causing his
I can see there.
This kid who's lost his leg to a mine,
and you imagine this whole field
was covered in land mines.
And look at how many kids there are
running around, you know?
To see firsthand
the aftereffects of land mines,
the devastation they cause,
that was a real eye-opener.
Sorry
There's a million land mines
across the Eritrean border,
laid by the Eritreans
and by the Ethiopians.
And it's going to take
something like 50 years
to be able to clean them up properly.
UNICEF are helping make
the children here mine-aware
and using drama and workshops
to teach the children
in all the schools in the area
to be aware of mines.
And what to do if you find one,
and if somebody gets hurt, not to rush in.
All the essential things
that kids need to know.
They're also helping kids
in their lives after the accident,
and they're just bringing
in these mobility cycles,
which are extraordinary-looking things.
It's quite complicated, isn't it?
It's got gears.
There's three gears.
It just seems
so strange that you have these wars,
and the people who have to mop up
all their mines
are independent charities.
And you have countries
that are still making them.
I just don't understand. The only people
who really get hurt are children.
And people are still making them.
I mean, how thick is that?
People killing each other.
How thick is that?
And it's always the children who suffer.
All the time, always, forever. Always.
And then we went up
to this town, Zalambessa,
because it was a town right on the border
between Eritrea and Ethiopia.
It was absolutely devastated
at the end of the war there.
When the Eritreans retreated from it,
they blew everything up,
and they land-mined the whole town.
We got there and the whole village
came out to meet us.
Everyone was in their Sunday best.
All the ladies were going
With eucalyptus branches,
and it was a huge celebration.
Yeah!
That's what I'm talking about!
And then there we are,
standing at the border.
Yeah, the border
of Ethiopia in front of us
is no-man's-land and trenches.
And we're not allowed
to shoot the other way.
Looking up at Eritrea here,
we're in Ethiopia here.
There's soldiers everywhere.
And there we are, standing there.
And you think, "Well, I'll forever
be able to remember it."
Our plan for today is to move
on down south towards Addis Ababa.
We're gonna visit a sunken church.
And this is one
of the oldest churches in Ethiopia.
To me, from here,
it actually looks a little bit Roman.
Did the Romans ever come here?
- I don't know. You tell me.
- I don't know.
In Ethiopia, we accepted Christianity
since the 4th century.
And the first king who accepted
Christianity was King Ezana.
It was during his time that
this church was built.
And this is the first rock-hewn church
in Ethiopia.
Wow. A chained-up green monster.
I love the people's faces and their hair.
Oh, it's incredible, look at all this.
It's carved just out of solid stone,
out of the mountain.
Do you know how long it would have taken
to complete the church?
How would you go about it?
You just go in,
you'd start, you'd chisel in and in,
and then out a bit.
And you'd just keep going
until you had a kind of basic shape,
- and then you'd be fine-tuning the edges.
- One year.
One year? No.
How do they know? One year?
But we believe that, as a Christian,
that they were supported by the angels.
Yeah, right, right.
When we visited that church,
Habtamu, he was so beautiful and touching
about his religion, about Christianity.
And I saw a really soft side to him
that I really liked.
- I'm available for parties, bar mitzvahs.
- Yeah, bar mitzvahs, weddings.
This is the men's entrance.
And you can see. It's where you'd be
standing out there smoking your cigarette
when you're waiting for your fiancée
to arrive for your wedding.
You'd be out the back there
A bit of that.
Yeah, I'll be all right. All right
Obviously, I'd be in a kilt,
which would
You can imagine the rest then.
She'd arrive, you'd get married,
and live happily ever after.
We're going to the huge market in Bati.
I think I might buy a little donkey.
Because I really like
the little baby donkeys on the road.
They make me laugh.
The donkeys are always plodding along.
They don't really give a damn.
I really like them.
I'm going to have the first donkey
and cart in North London.
I'm gonna go totally green.
Never mind your Toyota Prius,
I'm going donkey power.
Well, we're in Bati.
And this is supposed to be
one of the biggest
camel and sheep and cow markets,
where the lowland people
meet the highland people.
Wow, look at this.
This is a proper market.
It's just like
the Star Wars animal noise, isn't it?
You can see where George
got the old animal idea from.
Come on, give me a kiss.
They've got sort of puppy-dog eyes,
you know?
So, you go for the camel.
Ewan goes for the donkey.
This is your furry, furry donkey.
He's a sweetheart, though. Isn't he?
You're a bit warm, I would imagine.
I'm boiling.
He's got a kind of zebra look
going there on his leg.
And a huge cock.
I mean, it kind of is my donkey.
Apparently, it's very difficult
to ship them back to London
without paying an enormous amount
of vet fees, and you have to ship them
So what I'm going to do
is try and get one in London.
The amazing thing about this market
is that it's the meeting place for people
from all over this area,
so you see the most extraordinary looks,
you know?
This is khad, khaz?
- Khat.
- Khat.
And it's basically like hashish
or something like that.
And you chew the leaves,
and you get stoned.
This is khat.
Let me smell.
Is it more like hashish?
- Yes, exactly. Yes.
- It's like hashish.
Like in a film I made, Black Hawk Down,
we learned that all the Somalian soldiers
were chewing khat,
which made them just completely crazy
and wired and unstoppable.
- No crazy.
- Yes, crazy. Khat.
No!
Crazy? No.
We're all just shattered,
and we've been on the road.
We haven't had a proper break for ages.
And I think we're just suffering now,
and hopefully we'll get into Addis Ababa
and have a few days off.
It's much more difficult to ride
when you're tired.
Shit, no!
My bike's got this funny weave.
When you're coming out, it weaves a bit.
I said, "I hope it's just the knobblies."
They said, "Well, your tire pressures are
set low for dirt, you know."
And I said,
"It's hardly sports bike action."
Next minute, I'm sliding along the ground
with my bike. Jesus.
This is the mark here.
It looks like you did
a bit of a pirouette just here.
Slidey, slidey, slidey, and then
roundy, roundy there.
I'm starting to get a bit bored of being
the guy who falls over all the time.
Because I can hear all the off-road guys
coming up to me in restaurants and stuff,
going, "Oh, you fall off a lot,
don't you?"
But at the same time, it's true.
I do fall off a lot.
And that's upsetting me.
At the same time, we've been riding a lot.
I'm just trying to explain
why it looks like I fall off a lot.
Because I do, that's why.
If you want to come up and tell me in
a restaurant that I fall off a lot, don't.
Think twice about it.
Because I might just tell you to fuck off
if you do. Okay?
I'm getting a bit bored
of falling off now, really.
So is my bike, my fucking bike.
- Okay, got it?
- Yep.
You know,
I keep mashing my bike up.
Hang on, hang on.
I think it's just that that's fallen down.
Oh, dear. This crash bar
doesn't look very good.
Oh, yeah. It's had a dent here.
But it's just pushed back a little bit.
That's all right.
In the background,
there's been a bit of tension going on.
You know, you get eight people together
and put them in a small area,
I think there are some tensions
that can happen.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah!
- Hello!
The days off we had,
one was on a boat.
But we rode in the morning, and we rode
after that to get off the boat.
And then the only two other days
we had off, we flew to Kenya.
So, we're now in week five
without a break, really.
We're scheduled to stop and have
a rest for a few days in Addis Ababa.
We've just gotta get there safely.
The thought of getting to the hotel
tonight just sounds great.
I mean, we've not got
too far to go, really.
It doesn't help the enjoyment factor
because you're fatigued all the time.
The group dynamic
can go up and down as well
as a result of people
just being tired, I think.
We'll be traveling very fast
and do some very long days,
and I think, you know, tiredness
and tensions have got to some of us.
We always promised each other
that we wouldn't ride at night in Africa
because it's dangerous.
And of course it affects you.
It makes it very difficult
to make any decisions,
always worried
about upsetting somebody else.
And so you're very mindful of that,
what you say and how you say it.
And then if you do say it,
it seems to come out wrong.
And someone takes it in the wrong way.
Yes.
My hands.
Everything came to a head here today
in Addis Ababa.
It was a really difficult, emotional,
quite largely unpleasant morning.
I just got through it quickly.
I mean, I think Charley and I
have been slightly out of sorts
with each other for a little while.
Some people have a filter
between their brain and mouth,
and I don't think I have a filter
between my brain and mouth.
Maybe I could blame my dyslexia for that,
but things just seem to come out.
It started over little things like
you know, planning and route planning.
We've got to spend a night on the lake.
Because I'll have
my wife there then. Get a nice
Oh, forget that. We're not going there.
Definitely. No, no, definitely.
It looks nice
Differences of opinion
about this, that, and the other.
Probably just slightly different styles
of traveling,
different needs and desires
from the trip itself.
I think one of the problems has been that
we've just had this massive amount
of mileage to do.
So we have to get through Libya
and all of Egypt in six days.
Five days. Because it takes at least a day
to get through the Egyptian border.
It makes me uncomfortable. I don't like
arriving day in, day out, late in places.
Fucking hell. I'm just shagged.
It's just too much.
I'm just a bit shattered, yeah.
I'm just a bit fed up, really.
Ultimately, all I want is to feel
I've soaked up as much of Africa as I can,
that I feel that I know it a bit better.
And I'm not talking about
learning about historical facts
or Roman ruins this,
or the date of this war.
I'm not talking about that.
I just want to feel Africa's spirit.
I want to feel like,
as I've moved through it,
I've soaked it up.
I think I'm a natural worrier anyway.
And I worry about everybody.
And I worry about being places on time.
I mean, at home, if someone says,
"Let's meet in the pub at 8:00,"
I'm there at 7:55.
And everyone else walks up at 8:30.
But, seriously,
I'd rather not get to Cape Town,
and feel that I've really experienced
the countries I've gone through,
than get to Cape Town
and feel like I haven't.
And that's the truth.
We had that moment yesterday,
where we touched bottom, I guess.
There's no other way to say it.
We went through the paint
and got to the metal.
We got to the bare metal yesterday.
And it was, you know it was
We didn't film it,
because it wasn't pretty, you know?
So, what it's done
has really cleared the air.
Russ and Dave have been extremely helpful.
We talked about how we felt,
and we talked about what needed to change
and what we each wanted to happen,
and it was brilliant. It was brilliant.
Because we each got
everything off our chests
that we needed to get off our chests.
The first thing,
I suppose, is for you guys
to openly and honestly say
what you want to see.
- Yeah.
- Africa's out there, isn't it?
Rwanda. The other thing for me, obviously,
is when Eve comes out in Malawi.
And for me,
Botswana is massively important.
You know,
it's just like a marriage, really.
And so there's no reason, if you're living
together with a very close friend
for a long period of time
- It's done.
- Is that ready?
You're going to have
an argument every so often.
I think Charley and I forgot
one of the most important things.
Which is to talk to one another
and be honest with one another.
And it had to get to a point
where it exploded.
And through that, we go,
"Look, all I want is to be having
a good time with you."
And I don't want us to feel
like we're struggling through this,
and getting by and getting to Cape Town.
What a terrible shame that would be,
and it would result in us not being
friends anymore, you know?
There's a completely
different spirit in the camp, I would say.
Now I'm good.
Everybody is so ready to really tackle
the second half of the trip.
I think we've all agreed to try
and enjoy the trip a bit more,
and actually just immerse ourselves
in Africa.
It's gonna be good,
and the morale's great.
I'm ready to go.
We're about to leave Addis Ababa.
We've had a very up and down three days
off here. We had a good rest.
We all feel really good today.
We all feel much better for it.
So we're gonna head down
towards Shashemene
where the Rastafarian, Rasta
Crazy trucks, crazy places.
But it is nice to be back on the road.
It's been a very emotional
three or four days.
Look at this here.
"Charley and Ewan Coffee Break."
You see this?
What's that?
I think we should stop.
It's a flower plantation.
Hello. Salaam.
How bizarre.
How did this signpost come up?
Well, it's a long story,
but my colleague from the other side
told me about your program.
We said, "Let's make a sign,
because this is the only route
they can take to go to Kenya
if you're coming from Sudan."
We just finished our sign,
- let's say, two or three days ago.
- Oh, did you?
So it's been out there
for two or three days.
And now we've been watching your Internet
site, but it's always two days behind.
They were
an absolutely fantastic bunch of guys.
And they were really excited
that we'd actually stopped.
It's an extraordinary thing to do.
It's a lovely thing to do.
Seeing as I've never been
at a flower plantation before ever,
- could you show us around?
- Yeah!
Could we get
a little coffee first?
Be a good idea.
- Do you know what Addis Ababa means?
- No.
No? Ababa means "flower"
and Addis means "new."
"New flower."
But since two years ago
when we started here,
it's amazing what is happening
in this country.
Goodness me!
- Wow.
- Look at that.
It's been there for about
two or three weeks,
- then the first roots start to grow.
- Crazy.
So these are all the mother plants
that they take
all the cuttings from to seed.
Pretending I know
what I'm talking about now.
What they have done though is,
between the three farms,
there's about 3,000 people
who are employed a year,
and it's steady work.
Which is amazing, whereas before,
the locals only get seasonal work
when harvest time comes along,
or whatever.
And then they suggested that we come
to this little lodge
which is on the lake here.
Lake Logo. Logan? Logon? Logey?
Logey, Fogey, Bogey. Something like that.
And it is one
of the most beautiful little places.
So we're going to Bishangari Lodge.
Damada is going to show us
how to get there.
He said,
"Well, I'll show you the way,"
jumped on the back of my bike.
We rode him all the way down here.
It must have taken us 40 minutes.
And I said to him when we got here,
"How are you gonna get home?"
And he went, "No, I'm gonna stay here
and I'll go back with you tomorrow."
Have they got three rooms, Charley?
And then I said
to the guys, when we checked in,
"What about this wee boy's mum?"
- Will his mother be worried?
- No.
- It's okay? You sure?
- Yeah, it's okay.
So we'll see you tomorrow,
and you'll lead us back.
- Okay.
- I'll give you some money tomorrow.
"He's come from quite far away
to show us the place.
Won't his mum be worried?"
They were like, "No."
So, there we are.
My British sensibilities.
You see
all these little individual lodges.
I just wish my wife, Olly, was here.
Wow! Oh, it's beautiful.
As so often,
I've been to these bizarre places
and just wished Olly was here.
Wow, beautiful.
We'll maybe come back one day.
Oh, it's amazing.
There's a bird with a big head.
There's a bird
with a white side panel here.
A duck thing.
Welcome to Ewan's Wildlife here in Africa.
It's not David Attenborough, I know that.
But it's the best I can do.
There's a couple of birds. There's
another bird. There's a duck.
Yes, definitely.
This is the feces of the giant hippo.
I've just
- Don't look, Charley. Right behind you.
- What?
- Behind me. Where?
- Hippo.
- Where? Where?
- Slowly, turn around. Turn around.
There. There's a hippo right there.
Look at that.
It's not a hippo! It's a cow!
Well, from the back,
I suppose it kind of looks
I love it here.
I love it. I love being in Africa.