Lost Girl (2010) s01e05 Episode Script

so, dyson, you're not worried About your coworkers walking in on us? Gotta love statutory holidays.
Right on your desk, huh? That's hardly police protocol.
Ohh.
That s Lo.
.
Auaugh I hope the neighbors don't call the cops.
- I am the cops.
- Ah, well Thank you for respond to my emergency, officer 'cause when I neededo heal, I need it now.
Yeah, funny thing, though- I didn't notice so much as a scratch on you.
What can I say? I was hungry.
Huh.
Speaking of which, what's a girl gotta do around here To get some breakfast, huh? Breakfast, huh? that might make things confusing.
Fine.
No breakfast.
Is that a rule? I never much liked rules, but maybe we should have some.
Seriously? Feels kinda high school.
I wouldn't know.
Never went.
Okay.
Well In the spirit of clarifying this, What else? Rule number two- No discussing our arrangement with other people.
Hmm.
Exception-kenzi.
She already knows, and she pouts when I fib.
Okay.
Rule three- We come, we go.
No questions asked.
No sad good-byes.
Oh, good one.
And how about, as long as we're doing this, You don't get to give me That "I don't get to take this case" speech? As long as you always tell me what cases you do take.
deal.
And as far as seeing other people? Well, we're not exclusive, Right? Right.
Right.
Okay.
what are you doing? Walking you to your car.
No sad good-byes, remember? I'm not crying.
I'm just seeing you out.
don't you get it, dyson? I can take care of myself.
Hey, princess.
Oh, great.
sorry, about your, uh get in the van.
Nuts.
life is hard when you don't know who you are.
It's harder when you don't know what you are.
My love carries a death sentence.
I was lost for years, Searching while hiding Only to find that I belonged to a world hidden from humans.
I won't hide anymore.
I will live the life I choose.
LOST GIRL Ms.
Sizemore, bo investigates is The premiere p.
I.
Service in the city.
I'm so relieved to hear you say that.
I- I honestly don't know where else to turn.
Well, tell me what we're dealing with here.
she's trying to kill me.
I- I know that may not seem like a big deal.
Oh, that sounds like a massive dealio.
Yes.
Uh, does this "she" have a name? Ms.
Snickerpants.
Your, uh, your Boss? My cat.
Mm-hmm.
I went to the police.
They looked at me like I was crazy.
Crazy? Gosh.
Hardly.
Um You know we get paid in real-life money, right? Oh.
Would you like some more cream soda? Can we please get some more cream soda? Bo will be here any minute.
She's just, uh, detained.
Probably wrangling another sociopathic kitty.
Oh, ms.
Snickerpants isn't a sociopath.
Uh She's, uh, possessed.
See? Yes.
It's becoming quite clear.
I'm just gonna check my messages again, okay? this really puts the "suck" in "succubus.
" Yanking girls off the street, huh? That's a hell of a way to drum up business for the dim sum.
You guys go wait in the van.
I got little miss thang here.
Thing this.
what's wrong with you?! You know, you really should invest in a cup.
Thanks, but I'll take my egg foo yong to go.
You're outta luck, kid.
I should know.
I feed off the stuff.
So I'm mayer.
The boob that you nailed in the kishkes Is my nephew seymour.
Told you she was no good.
Oh, I'd say she's very good.
Now get us some water.
Water! Now we can talk.
I'd like to hire you.
Investigate a little problem I'm having.
You kidnap me, Clearly need family therapy.
That's not a great first impression, mayer.
Let me explain.
Maybe we can help each other.
Like I mentioned, I'm a luck fae.
I feed off the luck of humans who come here to bet.
In the human world, I work as a bookie, Run numbers On everything from sports to natural disasters.
Sounds super, but I'm not much of a gambler.
No, but you're something better.
You're not a dark fae.
You can go where my guys can't.
What, places that require good hygiene? I'm serious.
I've been duped by a human.
My security tapes from yesterday.
I was having a business matter With seymour When in came one of my favorite customers-roger.
he got a last name? No last name required.
He always paid cash.
I've been feeding off roger for years.
The schmuck virtually had no luck left.
So why did you take his bet? Well, I gotta make cash for the guys upstairs.
I take it you're acquainted with the morrigan? Yeah, what a peach.
don't get me started.
Still, it's a perfect fit.
I eat and provide funds for our side.
This time, things didn't go as planned.
Now I had drained roger of all his luck.
There was no way he could've won on his own.
again, I'm here I need an outsider to investigate roger- Someone who won't advertise my little problem.
Even if I could forget that you van-napped me- Which I won't- why would I help you? Because I can give you ten minutes with my niece.
Oh, tempting.
Is she cute? Word on the street is you want to know where you came from.
She sees things.
I'll let you have a taste for free, And you'll see.
Cassie's the real deal, A bona fide oracle.
What up, homeys? You've gotta be kidding me.
Bo, pick up.
This is me, leaving a fifth message.
I really hope you're on your way.
Paranoid puss in boots is getting shifty.
Where are you going? To find a private investigator who will take me seriously.
Ma'am, we are serious as shit! Okay? Bo is just a little late.
How are you gonna find a way to cure my cat If you can't even find your boss? Oh, bo's not my boss.
She's the muscle.
Well, the Love muscle of sorts.
Um Amateurs.
Okay, fine.
Bo's obviously not coming, But I am willing to take your case For half the price.
please.
I'm not gonna hire the assistant.
And I can't cover the check.
Thanks, bo.
You? You're gonna read my future? What was, what will be- the whole shit sandwich.
I need to know who my parents were.
Mmm.
but how do I know if- I'm telling the truth? why don't we visit your past, See if we can't stir up something significant? Come here.
You were 18.
He was your first love.
Kurt? No.
Kyle.
He wanted what all boys want.
Your parents taught you it was wrong, very wrong.
But he persisted, And you adored him.
Then you got hungry.
You fed on him, Drained him, then passed out.
When you awoke, you came face-to-face With your true self, with your birthright with death.
You had no idea what that meant, What you were- A sinner, a killer, a beast.
So you ran.
Haven't been back since.
Told you I was legit.
Channeling totally gives me cotton mouth.
You got a mint? So We got a deal? We can't trust her.
Another groin shot for the road? I find out how roger beat the house, Cassie reads me again- This time, about my parents.
Good luck.
Like you got any to spare.
Hello.
You're a tardy 'tang.
what, did kenzi wake up on the wrong side of the bed? Mm, we can't afford beds.
Remember, we had a meeting? oh, shit.
Client.
Yeah, I upload the calendar to your phone, I tape post-it reminders over the sink.
Kenzi- Dude, I even learned how to spreadsheet.
Me! 'cause it's my way of contributing.
Somebody's gotta keep you on schedule.
I'm not a train.
No, you're the talent with the great caboose.
Do you think I like acting like the adult? Probably no more than I enjoyed Being abducted off the street two hours ago.
And I'm a dink.
No, I should have called, once I earned my freedom.
What happened? Van Dark fae, potential information about my parents.
I'm sorry.
Fortune cookie? Now where are you going? Just bank the outrage for a while, okay? Mama's too tired to chat.
Oh, but could you call dyson and tell him I'd love to talk? Thanks.
Will do! Partner.
let me get back to you, okay? I'll call you back.
So we'll take this image from the security tape And we'll run it through the facial recognition.
And she wets herself over your geek skills.
My bad.
I don't like you working for mayer.
Too bad you don't get to tell me what cases I can take anymore, As per our agreement.
Uh-huh.
Just think of it as getting free intel on the dark.
Why doesn't mayer have his own guys looking into this? He probably doesn't want his fae bosses to know he got conned.
interesting.
Here it is.
Thanks.
See you around? Could be.
Right behind you.
Just gotta hit the ladies' room 'cause I just barfed in my mouth.
Dude, I can't believe I backed you with bo.
You made me look like a total tool.
And the worst part is, you treated her like shit, But somehow, you're forgiven.
That is why I'm no longer on team dyson.
Peace.
So what was that back there with dyson, huh? Pretty nice house for a compulsive gambler.
Pretty nice change of topic.
Hi.
Uh, sorry to bother you, but we're here to see- Roger? Of course.
Welcome.
Thank you.
Just in time to party.
Though we're a tad bit underdressed.
Ooh.
Whiskey.
Thank you.
Classy.
Ahh.
Unlike, say, boinking peeps to death? Touché.
so where's mayer's big winner? Uh, kenzi? This isn't a party party.
Here he is- The guest of honor, My roger.
He looks, um, Peaceful.
And really, really dead.
Uh When did he Bite it? Two days ago.
excuse me.
that was 24 hours Before he walked into mayer's and placed a bet.
Yeah, no kidding.
Mayer was wrong.
Roger wasn't unlucky.
no, he was a bloody miracle.
You didn't eat one of those toadstools, did ya? No.
But riddle me this- How does a dead guy walk around town, placing bets? I mean, I've heard gambling's an addiction, but come on.
A dead human walking? Mnh-mnh.
What, fae zombies? The chinese call them hsien.
We call them body jumpers.
They can inhabit a recently dead human just by touching them.
What, like a ghost? No, except they have bodies, but they don't like them.
Nasty bastards.
- Well, what's so bad about that? - It's distasteful.
Humans are for feeding off of, not wearing.
Ha.
That's funny.
That's what I do.
That's your third energy drink, and you still look like shit.
Hale, she is relentless.
This is the first break I've had all week.
I'm gonna do you a favor and give bo my digits, And I'll cover your shift.
Huh? I can manage, brother.
Thanks, though.
Clearly.
So listen, what's it like with a succubus? Tell me.
You remember daphne? The nymph? Uh-huh.
Hourly.
Yes! Well, I lost her number, and I don't even care.
Damn.
Hey.
We were just talking about you.
Really? Yes.
I was saying that if anyone in town knows a hsien A hsien? God, for a bunch of far-out fairy folk, You guys are pretty judgmental.
I know a hsien, our side.
Works as a morgue attendant.
There.
Was that so hard, huh? You want my help or not? Of course.
You never know when I might get injured On an investigation, need a little healing.
What about rule number two? Come on, dyson.
Rules are meant to be broken.
Later, kenzi.
Yeah! How'd that taste, baby? Looks like you owe me Consider yourself schooled.
Don't play pool with une petite hustler.
Here's my free lesson- Don't play pool with a siren.
was it something I sang? Okay, okay, okay.
Hey, look.
If you're bringing your human act here into fae world, You'll need to nut up.
Y'all don't play fair.
Right.
But in your world, people always do the right thing, The good side always wins, and the nice guy gets the girl.
And what's your point? My point is that you have to show people That you can handle your shit, That you're more than just the Sidekick.
I don't give a rat's ass what any of you think, Only bo.
Hmm? Ooh.
Better.
mississippi in the middle of a dry spell jimmy rogers on the victrola up high mama's dancin' with baby on her shoulder the sun is settin' - eddie.
What is it with the blondes, man? Oh, don't even start playing.
I'm not looking.
Get back in there.
I'm not playing.
Get back in.
Ohh! Dyson! Hey, who's the dame? Dame? What, did someone from 1932 follow us in? Bo, meet eddie- Light fae, Likes to wear corpses around And gets himself in all kinds of trouble.
Ha.
Remember those elvis sightings in the '70s? Yeah That was all eddie.
Congrats.
Cured now, Learning to appreciate my own body.
You know what the 12 steps taught me? "thou shalt not wear thy neighbor.
" I gotta call my sponsor.
You really crossed the wrong guy this time.
Mayer is apoplectic.
Seriously pissed.
mayer mayer? You know I'd never deal with the dark.
Come on.
Scout's honor.
Honor's never been your strong suit, eddie.
I swear on my mama's sacred skin.
Come on.
You know how our people keep tabs on everyone, Like, across party lines? Rumor has it lucas is in town.
Who's lucas? Dark fae hsien.
Very nasty fellow.
Makes eddie's transgressions look positively p.
G.
That's sweet.
Where is he- the real lucas? You know the deal.
You want to find a real hsien You find his real body.
Time to break the bad news to mayer.
You're on your own.
I can't enter dark fae territory.
Oh, come on.
Feh! A padskunik body jumper in my house? If somebody hired a hsien to bring me down, I wanna know who, a.
S.
A.
P.
He didn't bring you down.
You just got stiffed, literally.
Stop.
Hock mir nisht en chinik.
I don't talk business with humans.
No, you just gobble up their cash and luck.
I got played out of serious bank- for my fae bosses.
If I don't nip this in the bud, I'm chopped liver, Plowed under.
What, they'd kill you? No, no, no.
I hate to think of what they'll do to my family.
Are you picking? Were you born in a barn? I have allergies.
Get outta here! Bo? Could you ask mayer Who would want to ruin his reputation? I mean, he's such an enchanting guy.
I can't imagine.
I've been losing a lot of business To a backroom gamer named jesper salming.
Professional rival- always a worthy suspect.
I can't get you an invitation I generally don't need one.
But here's his address.
Well, thank damn I'm here.
You can't just walk into an underground gambling den And get the kingpin to talk.
A little giggle, a little tongue down his throat, And I can probably make him ice-skate.
Magic hoo-ha aside, backroom poker is complicated, Almost ceremonial.
I should know.
My dad would spend hours playing.
Taught me everything I know.
If we do this- Go in-how do I know I can trust you? Bo, are you serious? See? that was a bluff.
Huh? How do you like my poker face? Oh, it's on, bitch.
Ooh.
Ante up.
I am just over your shoulder, baby backroom poker is like golf on meth, And, baby, I'm gettin' a contact high.
turning away, would you stop Dude, I could rule this game.
Check out the cougar.
She plays with her straw every time she bluffs.
So? What the players subconsciously do each time they bluff Or when they know they got the goods-that's their tell.
Learn someone's tell, Then you can always learn their next move.
Thank you, rain man.
But keep your eyes open.
Take note of the exits.
I'll talk to the players, See if they've seen anything weird, Like an empty body lying around.
And I'll find jesper.
your pretty life Unless he finds me first.
Okay, I'm out.
Remember the signal? Back in 15 or I fake a seizure.
That's my girl.
hear my voice drowning you feel my skin on your back hey, I see you falling and on your knees you're crawling back back to me You're a collector.
Wow.
These paintings are incredible.
I took it from a 12th century french château.
You always take what you want? I'm not above using force Oh.
When necessary.
You are easily The most beautiful piece in here.
Well, wait until you see the rest of me.
Hey.
oh.
I'm mighty mario.
Oh, is that so? Well, hello.
Yeah.
um, cowboy hat- He yawns when he's bluffing.
Gawking for two minutes, You already figured out his tell, huh? Pretty good.
Mm.
I call.
Hey, hot box.
looks like I got my lucky charm for the night, huh? You should check out pit stains.
He bites his nails when he knows he's toast.
No kidding, huh? Yeah.
Mmm.
It's cold in here.
I'll keep you warm.
Ah.
Mmm.
Mmm.
So where's the body, jesper, huh? Hmm? Where's the hsien? What hsien? The one you're using to take down mayer.
Ah.
Mayer took me for everything I had at the track.
So if you're taking him down Mm.
I want in.
All I know is that you are one powerful succubus.
What? When you've really learned to channel your power, I would not beblble to resist you Even knowing that you're spying on me.
Who told you I was coming? It doesn't matter.
You're not leaving.
then you won't mind telling me who robbed mayer.
Why would I bother to eliminate that low-level bookie? 'cause you're clearly such a reasonable guy.
You have no idea What I am.
I didn't peg you for frigid.
And you'll be one beautiful Cold Corpse.
Someone needs a manicure.
Yeah! Hey! Hey! Yay! That's my backdoor flush! Yeah! Oh, my gosh, it's beautiful.
All right! read 'em and weep, huh? Bo, is that a signal? Here we go.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Look at this.
Uh, pit stains- He just shoved an ace up his sleeve.
Is-is that bad? Son of a bitch! He's a cheat! okay.
All right.
Uh Eat crowbar! oh! okay.
Come on.
dude, you're like an icicle.
Do you know the way out? Yeah, turn left at mario and then book it.
Bye-bye, retirement fund.
bo! Bo! ah, eat my ball.
Yo, 9-1-1 booty call, like, now.
Better down another espresso.
Get in here, hale.
I got you, I got you.
Come on.
Hold on, bo.
You got her? I got her.
God, what the hell did you do to yourself? Oh.
You're freezing.
Rule three-no questions.
Remember? Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
Stay with me.
What did he look like? Big, european, terrible kisser.
His Oh, his hands frosted over.
He was cold as hell.
It's a hrimthurs- It's a frost giant.
Their touch can stop a man's heart.
You could have been killed.
You really, really need to work on your foreplay.
Is that a new rule? It's just good manners.
Ah.
Bo, don't hold back.
Take what you need.
So, uh Seen any movies late- Lately? Or no.
Did my troll get out? Uh, bo and dyson Just talking.
You know, a lot of meeting Just Lots Of talking.
Red cross ain't got nothing on you.
Hey.
Hey.
You okay? Mm.
It's not as bad as it looks.
Shit.
So much for keeping our secret.
Yeah, sorry about that.
bo.
Oh, my god.
Not a scratch.
Dude, your junk could cure cancer.
Though, you look kinda green.
I'm a quarter leprechaun.
Really? Uh, listen.
What are we gonna do next? Now that we know That jesper was tipped off by someone who worked for mayer? Dyson.
Eddie, calm down, man.
Who's there? Eddie? Went dead.
Morgue? Not really dressed for it.
Hello? Mayer snitch? Anyone.
Yeah, you guys go.
Yeah, I got this.
Left behind again? You want to shoot some stick? Sorry, hale.
I got my own shit to solve.
Gettin' better.
Goon-mobile-check.
bumbling idiot-check.
Ha ha.
Holy honeypot.
Hey.
Hey, I took too much, didn't I? No, you took what you had to.
Where is he? Eddie? Eddie? Yeah.
Dyson.
What up, brother? Hello.
Are you okay? Never better.
So, uh What up? You called me, Sounded like you were gonna soil yourself.
You said, "he's here.
" Yeah, he was.
Lucas? Yeah, my fellow hsien.
Wanted to know if I'd been Talking to that succubus.
He really doesn't like you sniffing in his business.
That's okay.
I scared him off, though.
You did? Yeah.
You know, I've learned some interesting things In the past few days- That fae can be bookies, That body jumpers exist.
That people often have a tell when they're bluffing.
Oh, you think I'm bluffing? Eddie's not here anymore, is he? No.
Thank god! aah! Aah! Aah! Bo! Locked.
Go! I got this! I know you can only jump bodies By touching them, lucas, So come easy or make this hard, But either way, this is the end of the line.
Aah! is that the best you got, huh? Oh, I'm just warming up.
Let's dance.
Bring it, juice monkey.
When you're dead, I'm gonna wear your corpse like a coat.
I'm calling p.
E.
T.
A.
I'm gonna rip dyson to itty-bitty pieces, Using your hands.
Speaking of itty-bitty mm.
No more bodies within reach.
I pull this trigr,r, you are as dead as the one you are in.
what the hell took you so long? Who paid you to take down mayer? Where's his money? Somewhere you'll never find it.
Whatever.
We got all the time in the world, Unlike you.
I can already smell that corpse starting to rot.
A few more hours, it'll be so decomposed, You won't be able to stay in it.
If you don't get back to your own body soon, lucas You'll be worm food, Like all of your little human puppets.
Or hey, how about I lock you in one of those body drawers, huh? It's a hell of a way to spend your final hours.
He forced me into roger's corpse, Fixed the bet at mayer's, Said if I didn't trick that old bookie, I wouldn't get my body back.
"he" who, lucas? There's gonna be an expensive card game going here tonight.
I want you there.
This is lucas, your body jumper.
He's here to tell us who ripped you off.
He better.
So you gonna let us in? You, yes.
Him, no.
I can't enter without his permission.
We work for different sides.
I don't want him knowing my business.
And I don't want the ash knowing that I was involved in it.
So you both stay quiet.
Everybody wins.
On your blood honor.
Bad peace Is better than good war.
What's with the meat delivery? Don't you recognize your good buddy lucas, huh, seymour? The jig is up.
You? I don't know what you're talking about.
Can't be.
believe it, pal.
Seymour and his buddy hired me.
My real body's in his car.
Stupid corpse jockey.
Ththis wouldn't have happed if you weren't so stupid.
Uh, pot, meet kettle.
Drek fresser! You never let me do anything.
My sister's only son.
I taught you everything but common sense.
Yofifinally grow a backbone, and you can only use it To usurp your own uncle?! All I wanted was some respect.
Respect? You're dead to me.
I guess I'll go collect the body of evidence.
In there? kenzi.
Aah! Really gotta pee.
Please don't tell bo I'm here.
Back in your body, lucas.
Well, that's new.
You're welcome.
And as for you What is this, a blind date gone bad, huh? Yeah, that's right.
Mock the human, 'cause that's not getting old.
None of you take me seriously, okay, except bo, And I want to keep it that way.
Then I won't mention this little debacle.
All right.
Then I won't tell her how much it hurts you Every time you two are together.
Yeah, I noticed.
But we both know it's worth it.
What, are you back on team dyson? You wish.
Come on.
We're getting t-shirts.
kenzi? Hey.
What are you doing here? He texted.
We, uh, we text.
Yeah, you know Yeah.
Backup.
Weirdo.
Ah, he's not so bad.
I was talking about you, freak.
So Seymour, huh? He's a traitor- My own flesh and blood.
What are you gonna do with him? Put him somewhere safe.
What else? You're more familiar with the light.
My side- We don't believe in mercy.
He's family.
So you promise not to tell, I'll let you see the oracle.
"l"let," my balls, buddy.
That was the first deal.
She made good on it.
You want bo to keep your little secret, That's a whole new shebang.
What do you want? I'll take the debt.
You never know when I might need to collect on your blood honor.
Ahah, you're not too bad for a succubus.
You're not so bad yourself, considering you're dark fae.
So join us.
I'm not picking sides At least, not until I find out about my parents.
Cassie's in the back.
Ooh.
Mmm.
I'd like to feed off you.
yeah, I'd make a bad snack.
I never had much luck.
You taste like a survivor.
Well, if I can't eat you, Uh, maybe I can use you, if you need a job.
I got a job, but thanks.
Let's do it.
A girl.
Your mother.
Betrayed by the one she loved the most.
But she escaped, after all those years, Searching, yearning for her child, For you.
She will be coming.
there will be a battle.
Death.
You will have to choose.
She's coming.
She's coming! Shs s coming! She's coming! I'm gonna ralph.
What was that? Because that was not my memory.
No duh.
Do not tell anyone that just happened What does it mean? You're a major player.
Fate has some serious plans for you.
Oh.
Later.
So? Ahem.
It was a long shot.
Maybe it's bettenonot knowing.
Family- it's-it's complicated.
Kenzi She's alive.
My mother's alive.