Love Life (2020) s01e05 Episode Script

[female narrator] For far too long,
Darby had ignored the details of her past,
not appreciating
that they might be puzzle pieces
in her quest for connection.
But now, suddenly, she found herself
feeling the impulse to look inward.
[door opens]
- Darby?
- Yeah.
Wanna come on in?
- Yeah.
- Okay.
Real-life therapy couch.
[chuckles nervously]
I'm not supposed to lay down, right?
Whatever makes you feel comfortable.
So do I just start talking, or
Why don't you talk
about what brought you here?
On the phone, you mentioned
that you were having
trouble with a relationship?
Uh, yeah.
Well, yeah, broadly speaking,
but I think it's just me.
I'm really not good at expressing myself,
and that's hurting my relationship,
so I would love to just,
um, fix that, you know?
Could you maybe give me an example?
Yeah, so, um, recently,
he wanted to buy this $2,000 couch,
and we just don't need it,
and I started out saying
I didn't think we should spend
that much money on a couch,
and we couldn't even afford it,
and he was so disappointed by that,
um, so I ended up saying
we should get the matching ottoman
and everything, and
- So you're a real pleaser.
- Um
But now I'm angry, so
It sounds to me like
he didn't really respect your desires.
He kind of steamrolled you.
But what would happen
if you said, "Hey, look,
that really made me angry
that you steamrolled me
into buying that $2,000 couch"?
He would be mad
and
we would get in a fight and
he would break up with me.
So you're really afraid of rejection?
- Isn't everyone?
- Of course.
Because it's painful
and it's shame-inducing.
But it's really not about you, Darby.
Rejection is not personal.
It's obviously personal.
Rejection couldn't be more personal.
I can see this is a really sensitive area.
Let's dig a little deeper.
I want you to tell me about the first time
you ever experienced a major rejection.
I want you to describe to me
what that felt like.
I want you to close your eyes
and just describe away.
Do I have to close my eyes?
Yeah.
Okay.
So
I guess it was
Luke.
Um, I was 15
and I was getting shuttled
back and forth between my parents
and I didn't belong anywhere,
so I did this kind of crazy thing.
I applied to boarding school.
At first, I just wanted to see
if my parents would stop me.
Like, maybe I was too integral
a part of the family
for them to let me go, but, uh, no.
They were totally cool with their child
moving across the country.
So I went, and honestly,
I thought it would look like Hogwarts.
[truck beeping]
But no. [sighs]
Uh, the pictures on the website
were misleading.
This honestly sucks.
[Claudia] I didn't know
you wanted to come.
I don't want to go on a Disney cruise.
Why would I want to go?
Walt Disney was a Nazi.
Mom, I want to be home.
If you wanna be home,
maybe you should've stayed
instead of running away
to boarding school.
Okay, fine.
I'll have Thanksgiving by myself.
What about your father's?
They'd love to have you.
Nancy's mom lives there now,
so I'd have to be on an Aerobed again.
Larry's really caving over there.
Is that even comfortable?
It's not supposed to be.
Oh, is that Grace?
Can't you go home with her
for Thanksgiving?
No, she's going to her boyfriend's.
But I'll be fine.
There's a Hardee's in town.
Don't be dramatic, sweetheart.
I'll call you from the ship.
Do you think I could
go to Colby's with you?
Or would that be weird?
Only if you wanna watch us fuck.
["We Are Your Friends"
by Justice vs Simian playing]
Because we are your friends ♪
You'll never be alone again ♪
Ooh, come on ♪
Ooh, come on ♪
Ooh, come on ♪
Ooh, come on ♪
Because we are your friends ♪
Hey, Ashton. Hey, Kaelin.
I didn't know you were, um,
staying in town for the break.
Either that or go to
our dumbass stupid grandma's house.
- I'm Sophie.
- Hey. I'm Darby.
I've pretty much spent the whole break
so far playing San Andreas.
I heard the tank is tight.
Ooh. Have you gotten
to the level with the tank?
No, but I got the cheat code for it.
[both] Tight.
["Laffy Taffy" by D4L playing]
Hey ♪
That laffy taffy ♪
That laffy taffy ♪
Candy girl ♪
Girl, shake dat laffy taffy ♪
That laffy taffy ♪
Shake dat laffy taffy ♪
That laffy taffy ♪
Yo!
Sorry. [clears throat]
What up, pimps?
[both] 'Sup?
Aren't you cold?
No. Why? We're inside.
But
Well, I mean,
you're dressed like the Big Lebowski.
- I guess I just run warm. Yeah.
- Hmm.
And what's up? I'm Luke.
I sit next to you in Chem.
Oh.
Shit. Yes, no.
Okay. No, I know you. I'm sorry.
You want some water?
It's not water. It's Popov.
- Oh.
- But keep it low-key.
How's Cats going? [chuckles]
Yeah, sounding pretty good over there,
frickin' musical guy.
[chuckles] I'm playing Rum Tum Tugger, so
- [boy] Ooh.
- [Luke] Yeah.
Yo.
[Sophie speaking indistinctly]
Hi.
What's up?
- I hate Thanksgiving.
- Yeah, I know. Same.
It's ridiculous,
'cause The O.C. isn't even on tonight,
which makes no sense.
I feel if there were a night for The O.C.
to be on, it would be tonight.
I know. I know.
That's what I was thinking.
I went to the AV room,
um, to try to watch it, and
I'm actually from California.
- Wait, no way. Sick.
- It reminds me of home.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
Cool.
- Wait, did you inhale it?
- Yeah.
I think I did.
- Are you sure?
- I don't know.
- [coughs]
- There you go. Nice.
Um, so why didn't you go home?
Just civil disobedience.
- [sniffs]
- What do you mean?
My parents are just fuckin' Repubs,
and my dad's a drunk and a hypocrite.
- Where are you from again?
- Corpus Christi, Texas.
- That's wild.
- Yeah.
What are you, like, an oil baron?
- [laughing] No, no. My dad's a lobbyist.
- Hmm.
Yeah. He knows the dude
that Cheney shot in the face.
- Yeah, I know. He's boys with my grandpa.
- Hmm.
- Yeah, my dad's a recovering alcoholic.
- Hmm.
Is that why you stayed here?
No. I mean, kind of.
I don't know.
Um
No, my parents are just in Jackson Hole,
and I didn't feel like going this year.
[adult Darby] That was my first real kiss.
In the moment, it was it was magic.
I mean, now I realize
he was using his tongue
like a prison shank.
- You don't use your door?
- No.
Even the Domino's guy
knows to use the window at Casa Ducharme.
[giggles]
- Here. Here.
- Yeah. Thanks.
[Luke] Mmm-hmm.
[video playing indistinctly over laptop]
[both laughing]
- [gasps, squeals]
- [Luke laughs] Go, go!
[Luke whispers]
[both laughing]
All right, ready?
- [camera shutter clicks]
- Wow.
- [Luke] That's cute.
- That's good.
- We got this.
- Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
[camera shutter clicking]
[both chuckling]
- What kind of music do you like?
- I like mellow shit.
Like this.
Know this one?
["I Don't Trust Myself"
by John Mayer playing]
You like John Mayer?
- I love John Mayer. John Mayer shreds.
- [chuckles]
[Luke laughs]
Hey, I lied before.
Yeah? About what?
My family isn't in Jackson Hole. I
Like, I really don't know why I said that.
[laughing] Okay.
- [groans softly]
- It's all good.
No, I'm not the man
I used to be lately ♪
See, you met me at an interesting time ♪
And if my past is any sign
Of your future ♪
You're amazing.
You're amazing.
Hold on to whatever you find, baby ♪
Hold on to whatever
Will get you through ♪
Hold on to whatever you find, baby ♪
I don't trust myself with lovin' you ♪
[therapist] So clearly,
you really liked this guy.
But the question is, Darby,
what did you do with those feelings?
Nothing, really. Um
Yeah, I mean, it was high school,
so we barely knew each other
and it just wasn't
wasn't that big a deal.
Darby, therapy really only works
if you're willing to open up to me.
I'm here, aren't I?
Yes, and that's the first step.
I'm sorry, it's just
You're basically a stranger.
Maybe that makes it easier.
Okay.
["I Don't Trust Myself" playing
over headphones]
Hey.
How was Colby's?
His cousin walked in on us,
but otherwise, it was fine.
Okay, you won't believe
what happened over break.
I hooked up with Luke.
Luke Ducharme?
Yeah. [chuckles]
Yeah, it was kind of magical.
[scoffs]
Wow, I didn't know you had it in you.
Yeah, I mean, the first night,
we met up at the dining hall,
and it just kind of happened, you know.
But what do you mean you hooked up?
Like, we just kissed.
But we spent literally
the whole time together.
It was like we were in love. [chuckles]
So what's your guys' deal now?
Are you dating or something?
No, I mean, I'm
Yeah, I'm not really sure.
I mean, not officially, anyway.
We haven't had the talk yet, you know.
I have Pre-Calc with him.
You know he's a total player.
[laughing] Yeah.
Yeah.
We're just keeping it casual, you know.
It's no big deal, really.
[song continues over headphones]
[indistinct shouting]
Hey.
- Oh, hey.
- Nice game.
Yeah, thanks.
What's up? [laughs]
Not much.
- Okay.
- Well, um, hey.
I was actually thinking
about staging a walkout
against the Iraq War,
if you felt like joining.
Oh. Um
Maybe. Yeah, maybe.
Or we could just smoke weed
and watch the new O.C.
I can't.
I'm I'm really screwed in Chem
'cause I fucked off, like, all break.
Mmm. Yeah. No, I remember.
It was worth it, though, right?
Yeah, for sure. Yeah. Yes. [laughs]
[hesitates] But I need to
get back to the game.
- Oh. Yeah. Yeah. Go ahead.
- Okay.
- Bye.
- [boy] All right, let's do it.
[adult Darby] Honestly,
things got worse from there.
Um, I would see him around campus,
but it was just like nothing
ever happened between us.
Just classic kid shit.
And I did the opposite
of what I should have done.
I literally auditioned for Cats
just to be close to him.
[imperceptible]
[young Darby] Oh, my God.
Luke, that was amazing.
Like, I seriously had tears in my eyes
when you were singing.
Thank you. [chuckles]
Look, uh
I think we need to talk.
- You've just been acting really weird.
- [laughs]
No. I haven't been ignoring you,
I promise.
Seriously, things have been
so crazy with classes,
and then, I've got this, and I just
[Luke chuckles softly]
[young Darby clears throat]
- You like that, Rum Tum?
- [shudders]
[cell phone ringing]
- Hey, Dad.
- [Larry] Hey.
How's it going over there, East-Coaster?
It's fine. I'm just studying. What's up?
We missed you at Thanksgiving, kiddo.
Yeah. I missed you too.
- Hey, so, um, some news, actually.
- Hmm?
Nancy's pregnant again.
Darby?
Darby, are you there? Hello?
Look, I don't know what to say. I'm sorry.
No, it's great. Congratulations.
[Luke] Oh, hey.
Um
What are those? Gummy bears?
Worms.
What?
They're gummy worms.
Oh. Nice.
[door opens]
[door closes]
[Grace sighs]
I'm sorry.
It just happened.
He rolled us a joint, and then
It didn't mean anything. I promise.
Colby and I broke up,
and I figured since you and Luke
were just hanging out
Don't cry.
You're gonna find somebody else.
Stop, I've
I don't even care about this, okay?
I have way bigger shit going on!
- Oh, so you're not mad?
- No! No!
I
I just found out that I have cancer!
Fuck.
[therapist] Wow. Okay. Let's unpack that.
Why do you think you did it?
God, I know. I don't know. Just, um
Like, being a dumb high-schooler, I guess?
I know, but the thing is, Darby,
that a lot of kids get broken up with,
but they don't tell people
they had cancer.
[people speaking indistinctly]
I heard the news.
I'm so sorry.
Yeah, I have to get
a couple more tests done,
but it's not looking good.
If you need any help,
my uncle is an oncologist
at Sloan Kettering.
Thanks.
Hey.
Thank you.
How you doing? You okay?
Get well soon.
His name is Courage.
- Not that you need it.
- So sweet.
You're obviously already brave.
- Oh, my God. That's so sweet.
- Thank you.
[adult Darby] I don't know why
I told the lie in the first place,
but once I did,
I just got scared that all this love,
and everyone fawning over me
would just go away if I came clean.
[headmistress] Darby,
I'm so sorry to hear.
Any accommodations
the school can make now or during finals,
please let me know.
My office door is always open.
[knocking at door]
Hey.
Do you have a minute?
So did you hear that they hung Saddam?
Why didn't you tell me
you had cancer over break?
Look, I just I didn't [sighs]
I didn't want to worry you. I
You had so much going on with the play.
Don't Don't worry about me.
I love you.
What?
- You actually love me?
- Yes.
Well, what about the whole Grace thing?
That Listen, Grace was a mistake.
I'm just I'm sorry I hurt you.
It's okay.
[cell phone buzzing]
[girls laughing, speaking indistinctly]
[headmistress] I know what you did.
[over headphones]
Hold on to whatever you find, baby ♪
- [door opens, closes]
- Hold on to whatever gets you through ♪
Hold on to whatever you find, baby ♪
I don't trust myself with lovin' you ♪
Who do you love? ♪
Um, after that,
I withdrew from school, so
Yep. Fuckin' embarrassing.
It sounds more than fuckin' embarrassing.
It sounds fuckin' traumatizing.
Yeah.
Well, it was a pretty stupid thing to do.
How'd your parents react?
Uh, well, they
They came to get me.
They came together, actually,
which was crazy,
'cause they'd been divorced
for over a decade at that point.
[Larry grunts]
- Come on.
- Okay. Let's go.
Well, at least you still have your hair.
Seriously, Larry?
Does this seem like
a good time for a joke?
Wocka wocka!
I'm wondering how this is
gonna look on your transcript.
Claud, we need to be sensitive.
Clearly, this is about something else
we have to deal with.
How are we gonna get those things
we bought at the Container Store?
Mom, can we please not do this here?
Can we please go?
Like, I can't
I can't be here right now. Please.
It was a lot of stuff we bought.
["I Was a Lover"
by TV On The Radio playing]
I was a lover before this war ♪
Held up in a luxury suite ♪
Behind a real barricaded door ♪
You know, Darby, sometimes
we think we're chasing one thing,
and we're actually chasing another.
Oh, God.
Time's up.
- Um, right. How much did you say it was?
- Uh, it's $175.
I have this new thing here.
I'll see you next Tuesday, right?
Um, I'll let you know, yeah.
I don't know how in the hell.
- It's this side and Yep.
- Down. Down, down, down.
Oh, my God. Look at that. There we go.
You know, Darby, um,
between now and next week,
I want you to reflect on what it is
that makes you feel like
you don't deserve to be loved.
I didn't say that.
[young Darby sniffling]
So why'd you do it, sweetheart?
[sniffles]
Clearly, this is about something else.
Oh, it's nothing. It was just a
It was just a funny joke, really.
It was stupid,
but it was just a stupid joke.
Darby,
you know we love you very much,
but that is unacceptable.
Claudia, that's not gonna help.
Please don't undermine me.
Is it our fault? Is it my fault?
I'm just so sad.
But I'm glad we're going home,
'cause I just
I just want to be home with you guys,
even if you don't want me there.
- [gasps]
- Oh.
Of course we want you there.
We love you.
You haven't been here that long.
I bet no one will even remember you.
[engine starting]
[sniffles]
[narrator] Darby did not return
to therapy after that,
for she sensed that digging deeper
would require her
to upend her entire life,
which was built on
the carefully constructed fantasy
that getting married
was some sort of proof,
once and for all, that she was lovable.
Babes, what are you doing?
- Let's go.
- Okay.