Mighty Med (2013) s01e05 Episode Script

Gentlemen, I've come up with an incredible idea to create a viral video that'll make me the most famous person in the world! Cool, what's the idea? To create a viral video that'll make me the most famous person in the world! It involves a pack of tigers and suit of beef.
I've got the tigers, but I can't decide between rib eye and flank.
Hey, Stephanie.
I gotta figure out a way to get back on her good side.
I wish I could tell her about mighty med, so she'd know I'm actually the coolest guy in school.
You're the coolest guy? Aren't you forgetting someone? I'm sorry, you're right.
Billy faler can make his eyebrows dance like this ( Dog whimpers ) I got it! The way to Stephanie is through her little mutt.
Hey, what a cute little doggie.
( Laughs ) Dogs love me.
Hi, little guy.
( Dog growls ) She's, like, a girl.
As we can all tell by her negative reaction to you.
No, she's just hungry.
See.
All right, one for me.
And one for you.
( Coughing ) Oh, no! She's, like, choking.
Somebody do something! ( Kaz gags ) ( Kaz coughing ) ( Gasping ) ( Grunts ) You are amazing! You saved my puppy's, like life.
( Coughing ) What's your name? Uh Oliver.
I live next door to you.
Since we were three.
I don't think so.
Some weird little brown-haired kid lives next door.
That's me! Are you sure? Yeah, I'm pretty sure.
( Baby voice ) Wave bye-bye to your hero.
( Coughs, spits ) Okay, yo! Every day's an adventure you never know by the looks on our face at the school when we enter leave class early, work at 3:30 hit the comic store, read up before the journey all these new issues and super powers if we didn't have to work we'd be here for hours everybody say that we shouldn't worry but have you ever seen superheroes on a gurney? will we save the world today? you never know will we all be safe today? You never know will we fly away or stay? You never know but you know we mighty med team up and let's go! Saving people that save people after classes we flip the page and jump to action they call us normo, normally fantastic seeing superheroes that we only imagined this type of life you got to have fight put up your fist and fight for what's right never can tell what we see is out of sight do the same thing tomorrow that we did tonight will we save the world today? you never know will we all be safe today? You never know will we fly away or stay? You never know but you know we mighty med team up and let's go! Man, I can't believe Oliver.
I was making my move on Stephanie and he totally showed me up.
Yeah, he gives a choking dog the heimlich, and he's a hero.
I give a healthy dog mouth-to-mouth, and I'm a weirdo.
Hey hey, nice to meet you.
You must be our new transfer student from new dork city.
Actually, I think he's from New Jersey dork.
Yours was better.
I think I look good.
Stephanie bought me new clothes to thank me.
Her dog has the same exact outfit.
You know, I don't know why Stephanie's that dog would not have been choking to death if it wasn't for me.
Where's my ugly dog outfit? I'm sorry, but when I see danger, I snap into action.
No hesitation, no fear.
Boo.
Aah! Don't do that! You know I hate that.
Oliver and Kaz are the key to us finding mighty med.
And when we do we will take our revenge on Dr.
Horace Diaz.
You wanna dial it down? Your glow is showing.
Sorry.
I just can't wait to make him kneel before us and beg for his pathetic life.
Plus, it'd be really nice to get out of the store for a change.
I have been feeling cooped up lately.
Right? I'll slip this tracking device into Kaz's backpack, you distract him.
Clyde: Hey, you guys! Wanna hear a little something I've been working on for a while? ( Wallace clears throat ) ( Screaming ) Wait, wait, wait.
( Tuning ) ( Resumes screaming ) There, that sounds better.
Excuse me, under ailment there's no box for viral video shoot with tigers goes terribly wrong.
Oh, wait, here it is.
Okay, according to this tracking device, Kaz is close by.
We're almost in mighty med.
I can feel it! Ah ah Okay.
Ha.
Sorry, but we need to go in there.
Wow.
Okay, look at her.
All tiny and brave.
What are you gonna do? Hit us with a butterscotch candy? Yeah.
Ow! Ow! Oh! She is hitting us with butterscotch candy! How can something so delicious be so painful? ( Both scream, Gus thuds ) Can you also check the box for concussion? ( Scoffs ) You look like you're from the planet dork.
What? That's a real planet.
Oh.
Where people dress like dorks.
What? The people from dork are called "dorks.
" Oh.
And they dress terribly.
Kaz, help push this over there.
You too, fancy boy.
Awesome machines.
What are they? That is a state of the art shrinking ray.
That is a juicer.
So, it turns people into juice? No, it just makes juice.
What's the matter with you? The people juicer's like this big! ( Door opens ) Look! It's citadel.
Oh, man.
Check out his impenetrable skin.
Absolutely nothing can get through it.
It's kind of like the plastic on my grandma's couch.
So what's wrong with him? We don't know yet.
Before he was sedated, he complained of severe stomach pain.
He ate at the hospital cafeteria? I hope not.
We've lost a lot of good men down there.
( Beeping ) Oh, it's a text from Stephanie.
We have rehearsal tonight.
I'm in her band.
What? You don't play any instruments.
Oh, I'm the backup-backup singer.
I stand behind the backup singer and do this First you save Stephanie's dog, and now you're in her band? Man, I can't believe you.
You know I was trying to get close to Stephanie.
I should be the one doing this No, you're doing it wrong.
Less enthusiasm, more apathy.
Oh, like this like Dude, that's so much better.
Oh, cool.
Thanks.
Wait, I'm mad at you! Why? It's not my fault I'm naturally heroic and charismatic.
I wish I could turn it off, but I can't.
Oh, oh, you may have a serious medical problem.
Oh, yeah.
Just as I suspected.
You're suffering from an incredibly enlarged ego.
Oh, quick! Let me use the shrinking ray to shrink it down to size.
Hey, hey! Don't point that at me! Would you relax? I'm not actually gonna turn the thing on.
( Squeaky voice ) What is wrong with you? You shrunk me! This is because of Stephanie, isn't it? No, no, no.
It was an accident.
Accident? You pushed the "on" button! No, I didn't.
I pushed the "no" button.
Oh If you thought it was the "no" button, why would you push it?! Oliver, how long have you known me? You know I have a problem with authority.
Everyone just relax.
Maybe there's a reverse switch.
Oh, there is! Okay, all we have to do is pull it.
( Whirring ) Or push it, I'm guessing.
Okay, no one's in here.
Doing all right in there, Oliver? Oliver: I can't believe you put me in a specimen cup.
Don't worry.
It's unused.
I think.
( Grunts ) We need to figure out how to get Oliver back to normal before Horace finds out.
Before Horace finds out what? Uh What we're getting you for your birthday.
Oh, don't tell me! I love surprises! And Bridges.
Did I mention I love Bridges.
Yes, like ten times.
Today.
Well, make it 11.
I love Bridges! ( Sighs ) What are you doing? Uh, it's the latest thing.
( Laughs ) All of the kids are doing it.
Horace, the truth is Someone accidentally hit Oliver with the shrinking ray.
Yeah, he's right here.
Shrunk down to the size of a Very tiny bridge? I love Bridges! But I'm very upset that you used the shrinking ray without permission.
On the other hand Look at him! He's adorable! Let's call him "smoliver.
" No! Let's not.
( Vibrating ) Oh, no.
Citadel's crashing.
We still can't figure out what's wrong with him.
Well, can't you run some tests? but his armored skin deflects the electromagnetic field.
And we can't do surgery because his exterior is impenetrable.
And why his girlfriend couldn't break through to him emotionally in the love life of citadel.
There is one way to know what's going on inside of him.
Be a good listener? I meant go inside his body to check out his internal organs.
Send me in! I'm our only hope.
That's really brave of you, Oliver.
You know, I'm in a disco cover band, would you be interested in being a backup-backup singer.
You just have to stand behind us and do this No, no.
I have had it.
So, first you're the hero in front of Stephanie.
And now you're the hero in front of Horace? Come on.
Shrink me down.
I can be the hero.
And I can do this We can't shrink you.
You broke the shrinking ray.
And more importantly, you do this wrong! Less apathy, more enthusiasm.
According to this tracking device, Kaz is still near the hospital.
and find a secret entrance into mighty med and put a gruesome end to Horace Diaz.
But not before the scary butterscotch nurse's shift is over.
Totally.
At least she wasn't throwing rock candy.
We would be dead.
Yeah.
Here's the plan Before we destroy Diaz, I say we put the old helmet of truth on him.
Then he'll reveal the weakness of every superhero he's ever treated.
but are we sure that's the actual helmet of truth? Because someone foolishly suggested that we hide all of our real weapons with our fake ones.
Okay, it was foolish.
Everyone makes mistakes.
Don't be so hard on yourself.
I'm so stupid sometimes.
Well, I guess there's only one way for us to find out if this is the real helmet of truth.
Ask me something I wouldn't want to tell you.
Okay, when was your last haircut.
On Monday.
I knew it looked fresh! You were supposed to wait for me.
Eduardo had an opening.
Oliver, I designed the protective suit you're wearing to keep you safe while you're inside citadel.
at least we don't have to look at his dorky dog outfit anymore.
Just for that, pass me my scarf please.
Good luck, Oliver.
I know you can do it.
I can do it, too.
I'm just saying.
Look, it can be dangerous in there.
Don't worry.
I'll be careful.
I'd be carefuler.
( Beeping ) Citadel's blood pressure's dropping.
We're running out of time.
We need to lower you in.
Oh, what is this? Some sort of high-tech space-age polyethylene cable? No, it's dental floss.
Don't worry, it's unused.
I think.
( Gurgling ) ( Screaming ) ( Grunts ) Did the floss have to be waxed? ( Ringing ) Citadel's stomach, how may I direct your call? It's me.
Can you see anything? Oh! There are huge deep scratches, almost like someone carved into his stomach lining.
Ooh! But before I do anything else Ultimate selfie! ( Shutter clicks ) Dude, you totally just got photo-bombed.
What are you doing here? What are you doing here? It's micros.
The villain that can make himself microscopic.
Kaz: That's citadel's arch Nemesis.
It's true, I can't stand the guy.
He's the only thing between me and world domination.
He also stole your girlfriend in college.
I broke up with her! So, you're what's been making citadel sick.
Oh, I'm not making him sick.
I'm destroying him from within.
And after him, one by one, I will destroy every member of the league of heroes.
But there's something I need to do first.
( Gun powering up ) Get a haircut? No, I'm going to ripe out your intestines and use them as a jump rope.
( Stomach rumbling ) ( Laughing ) Aha! Finally! We found Gus? Clyde, Wallace, you guys are doctors? Uh, no.
Because someone couldn't get into medical school.
Hey! That is a very difficult test.
Don't be so hard on yourself.
I'm so stupid sometimes.
Never mind that.
Where's Kaz? Which Kaz? How many kazs do you know? Only one.
Well, then why did you ask "which Kaz?" I'm just making conversation.
I'm lonely.
No one's come to visit me! This tracking device is flashing like crazy.
There has to be button that activates a secret entrance into mighty med.
Ow.
Ow.
Gus: Ow! Nothing is happening! Now, we'll never find mighty med.
You are being really negative today.
Okay, can we not have this discussion Okay, it's never a good time to have this discussion.
It's shh shh shh.
( Beeping ) ( Beeping stops ) Gus, why do you have Kaz's backpack? I do? They must have gotten switched.
That means he has my lunch.
And his lunch.
I stole his lunch.
Of course mighty med's not here.
I mean, who would put a superhero hospital inside of an actual hospital? Yeah, it's just stupid.
( Rumbling ) Oliver! Oliver, can you hear me? Yeah, this micros guy has serious territory issues.
He's going to kill Oliver! And citadel.
And then micros will be unstoppable.
You have to fix the shrinking ray and send me in there so I can help him.
There's no time to fix the ray! Hang in there, buddy.
I'm trying.
I wish all this had never happened.
I wish I had never saved Stephanie's incredibly well-dressed dog.
Wait, that's it.
The dog.
I know what do to.
Oliver, get to his windpipe.
Ahh! He hit my tank! ( Beeping ) ( Coughing ) Oliver's oxygen levels are dropping.
( Moans ) You've interrupted my work.
Now, I will interrupt your life! Ha ha ha! Oh, come on! Oliver's heading inside the windpipe.
( Panting ) And so is micros.
Kaz, help.
He's gaining on me.
( Coughing ) And I'm running out of air.
Guys, we gotta get citadel to his feet.
Why? Just trust me.
Get him up on the count of three.
You have three seconds to live.
One! One! Two! Two! Aah! Three! It worked! Wait! Micros is trying to get away! Excellent! Take him away! Oliver, are you okay? Yeah, I think so.
Kaz, you saved my life.
Any time.
And, uh Man, I'm sorry I was such a jerk about Stephanie.
It's just, it stinks.
I wish I could tell her about mighty med so she'd know awesome I am.
Even if she doesn't know, you know and I know You're an incredible hero.
Kind of what I've been saying all along.
You can also be insanely over-competitive sometimes.
Also not new information.
That was really brave of you.
And as far as I'm concerned, you're both heroes.
But I'm heroier.
Now let's fix that shrinking ray and enlarge you.
But first That is fun.
So, how does it feel to be only slightly smaller than me again? Oh, my gosh.
How competitive are you? The most competitive.
The most! Oliver: Hey, Stephanie.
Should have seen what happened yesterday, this guy saved my life.
Sorry, do I, like, know you? It's me.
Oliver.
You took me shopping.
I don't think so.
I took some weird little brown-haired kid shopping.
That was me.
Nope.
There he is.
You're friends with Gus now? He's in a viral video.
He's like the most famous guy in the world.
I don't get it, what's so great? ( Crashing ) Can we hang with you? Dressed like that?