Moonshine (2021) s01e05 Episode Script

1
LIDIA: Previously on "Moonshine."
We're shittin' on borrowed time.
COLIN: As of now, your
full-time job is informant.
Shipment's coming in next weekend.
That's early.
Have the balls to commit for once.
NORA: No promises.
- This is my home.
- You can't be serious.
You guys are getting
a divorce, aren't you?
I don't know.
(SLURPS COFFEE) (MICROPHONE SQUEAKS)
- Ugh!
- (BUTTONS CLICK)
("SPOOKY" BY DUSTY SPRINGFIELD PLAYS)
It's cold, it's early.
Too early for me to even
remember my own name.
Good morning, from Cove FM, I guess.
If you're awake at this ugly hour,
you might ask yourself,
"I'm cursed, right?"
Well, according to Harnish's
"A Brief History of Foxton,"
the whole town is cursed.
Thanks to our rascally founder,
Pirate Captain Fox.
'Ol Foxy sailed the ocean blue
and had a merry old time.
Until he shacked up with a hot,
powerful sea witch,
and did the unthinkable
he got hitched.
But married life gave Foxy
a wandering eye and a fat ass,
and the sea witch,
well, she wasn't into cheaters
with love handles,
so she packed her broom and beat it.
But, not before cursing Foxy's land.
Anyone married here would be doomed
to pain and sorrow.
And that nagging feeling
she should've just kept on driving.
♪
So if any of you wanna see
the curse in action,
there's a pirate wedding
down at the Shore Club this weekend.
Dust off your best wench
- and work up a thirst.
- (GASPS)
Open bar, Bitches!
Morning, Mom.
Is this life sentence
everything you wanted?
I could use a little
New York right now.
Funny you should say that.
♪
I brought bagels.
NORA: So, to the happy couple,
from all of us here at Cove FM,
get out while you still can.
It's my life, it's my life ♪
It's my life, my life ♪
It's my life, it's my life
It's my life, my life ♪
LIDIA: Seriously,
what are you doing here?
No call, no time to put my
I-still-hate-you-face on.
Is it cheesy if missed you?
Oh, cheesy bullshit.
Okay. (SIGHS)
Wow, I kinda pictured
coming back to be
a Lancelot riding in on a grand
gesture sort of moment.
Oh, this is an adolescent white knight
saving a damsel fantasy.
Be still my heart.
I feel like this is going sideways.
What else do your powers
of perception tell us?
I know, our marriage is roadkill.
And this recent casualty is mostly
- Entirely.
- entirely my fault.
But that doesn't mean we
can't be unified parents.
I I really need to see the kids.
(SEAGULLS SQUAWK IN DISTANCE)
They need you, too.
Especially El. She's been
A perfect brew of your stubbornness,
with my blatant lack of empathy?
(SCOFFS)
- ELEANOR: Dad!
- Elly! Oh, Honey!
- Hey, Buddy!
- Hey.
Uh, your Dad's gonna stay
for the weekend.
In Cabin 8.
I know it's not Saturday,
but I'm hoping we can move the
family tradish up by a day?
- Zabar's?
- Bagels. Lox.
Everyone knows the best
Nova Scotia salmon
comes from the Upper West Side.
♪
RHIAN: The Germans were
promised an authentic
Nova Scotian pirate wedding
that honours their Jewish heritage,
and that is what we
are going to give them.
- We should divvy up the jobs.
- I am the captain!
Okay, Ryan has arranged
to have the Germans
- picked up at the airport.
- Mm-hmm.
Dad is on the officiant speech.
Church of the good vibes.
Sammy, I need you to learn a
pirate's jig on the fiddle,
by the end of tomorrow.
Or I encourage Finn to spread
his musical wings.
Nice!
We need someone to work the bar.
I'll do it.
Hmm, is that gonna be a problem?
Booze is not my crutch,
little brother.
- That'd be helpfulness.
- KEN: (GIGGLES)
And since Lidia's the queen
of the architects,
she can build the pirate chuppah.
What the hell is a pirate chuppah?
It's a traditional Jewish
wedding canopy.
The four posts represent
Just make it look like a pirate ship.
On it! Not a problem.
I wish someone had to avoid
their ex all of the time.
What kinda idiot wants to get
married wearing an eye patch?
Doesn't matter how you get married,
as long as your souls intertwine.
Oh, that's a good opener.
Intertwined souls.
That is new-age shit,
coming from someone
who enjoys new-age shit.
Marriages may not always work,
but weddings almost always do.
BEA: Patriarchal rituals
bolstered by the event
planning industry.
Yeah, great way to burn
a bunch of cash
and force your friends and
family to watch you dress up
like a doily.
Maybe you two should take
over the officiant speech.
Doesn't mean I don't believe in love.
Weddings might be old fashioned but
finding your soulmate
can change your life.
That is the most un-Rhian
thing I've ever heard you say.
And soulmate? You and Oscar
don't even hold hands in public.
I have a tender-loving heart,
and if you say one more word,
I will tear your arm off
and beat you with it.
BEA: There she is.
(PATRONS LAUGH)
- (PEN TAPS)
- Relying on the old chestnuts?
I never reuse jokes.
I've presided over dozens of weddings,
and each one is like a snowflake.
- They eventually melt.
- (CHUCKLES)
What? How many of those
snowflakes have survived
in this town?
Have you forgotten the curse?
Look, don't blame infidelity
and substance abuse
on a fictional pirate.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, the curse is real.
Maybe that's why our
relationship is solid;
- we never had a wedding.
- No, we didn't need one.
You, me, couple of rings.
Eternal promises made
in front of the sea.
This place is our bond.
As long as our roots remain
in the soil.
You've gotta stop.
And my wild rose gets thorny with age.
I'm not thorny, or that old.
I just hope our bond means
more than a pile of old wood,
and bum septic.
♪
Dad, you can't just push it in.
I built Adelson Tower in SoHo,
I think I can get a sunbrella
to stand.
(LAUGHS)
(WAVES LAP)
Ah.
You guys have sunblock on, right?
Nope. I need vitamin D.
Vitamin B, too.
Oh. (SNAPS FINGERS)
- Come on, it's legal in Europe.
- We're not in Europe.
Looks like you could use a cold one.
Oh, what the hell?
Brewski might hit the spot.
(LAUGHS) What?
- A brewski?
- (LAUGHS)
Nora: And we're back with our
topic of the day: creepy shit.
Witches, curses,
the male gaze, in general.
♪
And of course, ghosts.
More specifically, ghost-ing,
the art of disappearing to
avoid having hard conversations.
Should be called 'chicken shitting'.
♪
(PHONE BUZZES)
- (DOOR CLICKS OPEN)
- Morning, Babe!
Oh, hey, you're up early!
Well, you can't just sit
around in bed all day
and wish for something,
you gotta get up.
Break some rules.
Make fate your bitch.
Oh, my God, you know what,
I told Rhian,
if a campground wants
more than one star,
you've gotta get more
than one-ply, right.
- Babe, listen.
- Oh, no,
it's just I don't have time
to chit chat
because I've gotta clean the
cabins for this dumbass wedding.
No, seriously, this is gonna
blow your freaking mind!
I have to go so
I love you. Okay, bye!
(DOOR SLAMS SHUT)
Hey Babe, you forgot your
(DOOR CREAKS OPEN)
(DOOR SHUTS)
♪
(ENGINE RUMBLES)
♪
(LAWN MOWER ENGINE RUMBLES)
(ENGINE STOPS)
(GROUND CRUNCHES, FOOTSTEPS STOMP)
We don't hold hands in public.
I thought that was our dynamic,
like hide and seek, but with sex.
Or I figured out your
dirty little secret.
You're scared
of taking this torrid romance public.
- Totally.
- Oh, I knew it!
Screw the no dating guest by-laws.
I realize I've never felt
this way about anybody -
not my husband, not Dewey
Stevens in the ninth grade.
No one.
My heart is a Venus flytrap,
but I want everybody to know.
(LONG INHALE)
(MOANS)
Tomorrow night is the wedding.
Nobody loved the Germans enough
to make the transcontinental
trek, so we all gotta show.
Open bar. You're my date.
Everyone in your family's
gonna be there?
They better be they're on the clock.
Black tie? Black tie optional?
More like gold tooth mandatory.
To match my wench outfit.
Oscar, um
I know our sexual chemistry
it's explosive,
frightening, even, but
the other stuff's there too, right?
Of course.
I've never felt this way
about a woman before.
Have you felt this way about a man?
- No, I was
- (RADIO CRACKLES)
SAMMY: Uh, Ryan's VIP pickup
from the airport didn't happen.
The not-so-happy couple had
to take a taxi
- and they're pissed!
- Ryan!
I'm gonna rip his organs from his body
and feed them to him, one by one.
(RADIO CRACKLES)
♪
(WAVES LAP)
ELEANOR: Gita Kumaria texted me,
and said
she's doing a summer internship
at the New Museum.
The Shack blows. So does my future.
And boom! That'll make
for one heart-wrenching
college essay.
And what about the prodigy?
- Dad, just don't.
- Okay, fine. I won't.
Total normal son of mine,
who is not a musical genius.
Finn's gonna jam with the
house band on Saturday night.
Oh, from the conservatory
to the roadhouse.
That is so tight!
- (SCOFFS)
- Did you just say tight?
- (MOCKING) So mad tight.
- (LAUGHING)
MICHAEL: Hey!
FINN: What do you want?
- Thought we could hang.
- After the shit you pulled?
Stealing the mushrooms was a mistake.
I was just trying to impress you guys.
Probably think I'm a hick.
Well, we don't think you're a hick.
More like, idiot. Dick.
- Asshole.
- BOTH: (LAUGH)
I'm sorry.
♪
Hey guys, is it cool if we
chill with Michael for a bit?
Is that code for smoking pot?
- Dad!
- Kidding! Sort of.
Have fun.
- Better have weed.
- (CHUCKLES)
What about you? How you holdin' up?
You look like you've got
a Cinderella vibe going.
Pre-fairy Godmother.
I'd kill for some magical
helper mice right now.
Hey, you know anything
about German-Jewish nautical chuppahs?
♪
You're late!
Uh, yeah, 'cause some kid
tossed his cookies in the lobby.
Actually, I think it was rocky
road, it was, blech!
(CURTAINS RUSTLE)
I have a job for you.
You are gonna be my fish and snitch.
I don't even know what that means,
but I think that you're
barking up the wrong
minimum wage employee.
I'm going to wire you up, Crystal,
and you are gonna nuzzle up
to every Finley-Cullen,
and find out who the lead turd is
of this smuggling shit show,
starting with your boyfriend.
Ugh! Okay, listen,
Ryan is a lot of things,
but he is not a smuggler.
Surely you must have noticed
something.
- Off-brand behaviour.
- (SIGHS)
Waking up early; coming home late.
Sneaking out of the house
when he thinks
you're not paying atten
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
- you know something.
- Hmm, no.
- Talk. - Uh, uh.
- Talk,
or you're gonna be making maxi
pads out of shower flip-flops.
Or shower flip-flops out
of whatever it is you find
in a women's prison, by week's end.
Okay, fine! I'll do it!
(CLEARS THROAT) Good.
- Good to know that we're uh
- Don't.
on the same team. Okay, all right.
(DOOR CREAKS)
Oh, and um, you're gonna wanna
wear something other than uh,
a bikini top, because that's,
that's not, gonna hide a wire.
(SIGHS)
(DOOR CRASHES)
Does your family ever
throw anything out?
(LAUGHS) One family's garbage
is another family's wedding altar.
Yes!
- Wow!
- It needs some TLC,
but I think we've just found
the star of our pirate chuppah.
Lidz?
Yeah. Cherry B and I were inseparable.
Damn! I wish I knew you back then.
I wouldn't have dated you.
I would've made fun of you.
I liked bad boys.
- Ah!
- (DOOR CLUNKS SHUT)
So, whatever happened to Lidz?
I mean, that, that whole part
of your life is like a,
a black hole. You never
talk about your past.
Can we get back to the pirate
chuppah, please?
Oh. You see that?
Do you think all these secrets
could've had a negative effect
on our marriage?
The therapy bills point to yes.
(SIGHS) It's a long
and un-interesting story.
My real Dad came back
one fall, I was 16.
He said he wanted to take me
and Nora to New York.
Then my Mom sent him packing
and I never saw him again.
I swear I'd never forgive her.
I wanted to get as far away
from this place as I could.
So, I applied to architecture
school in New York.
Met a cute TA, and you know the rest.
Funny how it takes a separation
to find out who your
partner really is.
- (CHUCKLES LIGHTLY)
- I wish we had more of that.
♪
(GLOVE COMPARTMENT CLICKS OPEN)
- (PLASTIC RUSTLES)
- Yes!
Ancestral weed? Huh.
(SNIFFS) Hmm.
- No. Thank you, though.
- A bad boy would.
- Gimme that. Mm-hmm.
- I do.
(LIGHTER SNICKS)
There you go.
(CHOKES, COUGHS)
(PAPER HISSES)
Oh.
Lidz!
Wanna show you something.
DANIEL: Well, it's, it's rigorous,
but it has a, a naturalism.
A nod to Kengo Kuma, yeah?
Yeah, I wanted to acknowledge
the local vernacular,
but with a modern spin.
It reminds me of the stuff
that we used to mess
around with in the early days,
but it's more, it's more refined.
This is excellent work, Lidia!
(SIGHS HESITANTLY)
(MOANING)
♪
Mmm. Ah!
(WAKING EXHALE)
(GIGGLES) Oy.
Hi.
We should've separated a long time ago
- because last night was hot.
- (CHUCKLING)
Think about the sex we'd
have if we were divorced.
Maybe we could figure out
a way to have our pancakes
and eat them, too.
Are you saying what
I think you're saying?
- Oh, my queen will be fed.
- Hmm.
- Too much?
- Yeah.
But I want starch,
with extra syrup. (GIGGLES)
- (MOANS)
- (LIGHT THUMP)
Let's not confuse the kids. Beat it.
All right. (SIGHS)
(CLOTHES RUSTLE)
(DOOR OPENS AND SHUT QUIETLY)
(READYING EXHALE)
♪
Good morning, darling.
(KNOCK, DOOR CREAKS OPEN)
DANIEL: Hey. Hi!
I was just passing by
on a morning stroll and
- Oh!
- Looking to cook breakfast
to make up for the fact
that Mom's imprisoned us
in a barren culinary wasteland?
- (SCOFFS) Come on in.
- You sure?
- Mm-hmm!
- All right, thanks.
- How are you?
- Good! Nice day out there.
- Who would like some pancakes?
- I do.
♪
(SIREN WAILS)
(TIRES SCREECH)
(DOOR CLUNKS OPEN AND SHUT)
There's no decapitation, is there?
Um, there will be if you don't explain
the ghosting bullshit.
What? A ticket. Seriously?
Public mischief is a criminal offence.
I'm done with the games, Nora.
Right, you hate games.
That's why you haven't answered
any of my texts or calls,
and you pull a no-show
at The Shore Club.
Oh, I showed up, but you didn't notice
because you were too busy with Duffy.
- I saw you two at the bar.
- Gotcha.
And instead of talking to me about it,
- your master plan was to sulk.
- It was pretty clear
what was going on. Why would
I wanna talk about it?
Because you trust me?
Because I'm always honest with you?
Because you, of all people,
are too smart to jump to conclusions?
Nora Finley-Cullen, a raging slut,
who deserves to be assaulted
outside a bar.
No, it's fine, judge away.
Public mischief. Write the ticket!
Nora.
I
You wanna press charges?
- You want me to arrest this guy?
- Stop!
I don't need some guy pulling
macho ego bullshit
to save me from some other
guy's macho ego bullshit.
Lids and Rhian and I already
handled the asshole.
It's fine.
- I'm an idiot.
- Yeah!
But whatever!
If all it takes for you to bail
is one miscommunication.
- I can fix this.
- No, no.
- Let me fix this.
- No, it's too late!
You disappeared. (EXHALES)
I have to go do the news.
(FOOTSTEPS STOMP AWAY)
(LIGHT FOOTSTEPS APPROACH)
Need help?
Either you've done something illegal
or you want my credit card.
I'm not that shady.
Shady is the trauma of hearing
what you guys did last night.
Ohhhhh. Busted.
Relax. It's gross.
I'm happy, I guess.
Means we get to go home, right?
El, this is a
complicated situation. But
you know what?
We'll all be home soon.
- (UPLIFTING ROCK MUSIC)
- (SMALL LAUGH)
♪
BEA: 121.
1 06.
You owe me $275.
I'll take it off your tab.
Not as much fun when we
can't both trounce Felicia.
Oh, I miss her, too.
Bet you do.
The one family member that
makes you all seem normal.
(LAUGHS)
All set for tonight.
Shipment will be dropped off
at the wharf.
Bit public?
Oh, with everybody liquored
up at the wedding.
I've heard talk.
RCMP's been poking around
the shipyard in Halifax.
Just a matter of time
before they're on to us.
- One mistake
- I know the deal.
What does Ken say about all this?
He wants what I want.
Money to keep this place afloat.
(RADIO PLAYS SOFTLY)
You haven't told him about
leveraging The Moonshine,
have you?
My marriage, my business.
One and done.
Nothing will go wrong, Jill.
(SETS CARDS ON TABLE)
(WATER RIPPLES)
(TIRES CRUNCH)
(BRAKES SQUEAL)
Need a lift, miss?
Uh, no, I haven't gotten
my steps in yet.
Since when do you count steps?
Come on, Babe, I got that thing
I wanna show you.
- You're gonna flip!
- Not now, Ryan!
Whoa with the sketch macro
aggressions.
Okay, you know what?
Maybe I'm just upset
because your cheap ass family
doesn't pay me overtime,
which is probably a violation
of some sort of cleaning
girl union order thingy.
Anyway, the faster I finish
my cleaning,
the less resentful I feel
about how I'm not getting paid
what I'm worth, so please, just
let me finish my cleaning now.
Okay, Ryan? Thank you.
(BOTTLES CLANK, FOOTSTEPS RUSH AWAY)
(DOOR CLOSES)
(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC)
♪
(ENGINE RUMBLES)
- (DOOR OPENS)
- Hey, it's gorgeous today.
You're seriously working?
You inspired me.
Oh. Ha.
- Well?
- (PAPER CRINKLES)
Yes! Classic Daniel.
Modern, splashy, expensive.
It's gorgeous. Really.
It feels right. Right?
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
This calls for espresso.
- The Moonshine has espresso?
- Yeah, Zabar's finest!
(CLEARS THROAT)
You two seem chummy.
- We're collaborating.
- Oh yeah?
With your private parts?
So, I slept with my husband, okay.
It's the most action
I've had in years.
I, too, am getting the most
action I've had in years.
Not with my husband, though.
Two shitty marriages and
we're both getting laid.
Could be worse.
What happened to the roof thingys?
That's tacky.
Daniel likes embellishments.
Yours is better.
- Is that a compliment?
- No, I hate them both,
I just hate yours a little less.
(FOOTSTEPS THUD AWAY)
Me too.
♪
RHIAN: Hey, Scallywag, open up!
I want you to shiver my timbers!
(CLANGING AND BANGING)
COLIN: Ow!
You okay?
Yeah! Amazing.
(FOOTSTEPS SHUFFLE)
You're scared my family
won't approve of you.
It's like you could read
my body and my mind.
They don't like anyone,
but I don't need their approval
and neither do you.
There's only one thing
that matters: their envy.
But first, I need
to plunder your riches.
Permission to come aboard?
Wh-why don't you go on ahead? Um
I need to get changed.
I wanna leave the best
impression for your family.
- Argh!
- Argh!
(FOOTSTEPS THUD AWAY,
DOOR CREAKS OPEN)
(DOOR SLAMS SHUT)
♪
(WAVES LAP)
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYS)
♪
(LOW HUM OF CHATTER)
♪
(PRETEND FIGHTING GRUNTS, STICK CLACK)
Grr! No! Yar! Oh!
AGH!
♪
RHIAN: Hey, Dad.
Um
there's someone I want you
to meet tonight. Okay?
Someone special.
What's another word for engaged?
Betrothed?
Um, okay,
I know my marriage only fell
apart like, a month ago, but
Hey, have you seen the Germans?
Still getting dressed, probably.
I hope they shake a leg.
It's time to get this party started.
Oh I can't wait to meet
your friend.
I'm happy you're happy, Honey.
Thanks, Dad.
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYS)
♪
(KEYS CLACK)
We are live!
Can you hear me?
Yeah.
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYS)
(DOOR CLICKS OPEN)
Hey there, pretty lady!
(DOOR SWISHES)
RYAN: Hey!
Brucey.
- Hey.
- The ush?
DC and bar lime. Hit me.
(TAP HISSES)
Everything all right, man?
Yeah, I'm good.
Tough being sober, working the bar.
- Said I'm good.
- Right.
♪
(GIGGLING)
SAMMY: Decent play list.
Nice uh, warm-up for the band.
It doesn't change the fact
that I look like an idiot.
Okay, everyone looks like an
idiot, all right. Own it!
It'll be fun! Right?
Plus, chicks dig it.
Guys too.
♪
♪
♪
What's with the turtleneck?
CRYSTAL: Uh, I'm just cold.
You know I could help you out
with that, though.
- Oh no, not now, Ryan.
- Jesus, Crystal,
I've been trying to tell you
something all day
and you won't even look
at me. Talk to me, please!
Yes! Talk to him!
It's just not a good time, Ryan, and,
and I don't wanna hear anymore
about your schemes right now.
No, this is not about
the shrooms, okay,
this is totally different.
It's bigger, it's better!
Okay, no! These are gonna
get cold, so I gotta
I know you're losing faith in me,
but I promise,
after tonight, all our problems
are solved. Baby
No! Babe! Ryan! Ryan!
- Let him say it!
- Ahhh! You dumb shit!
Okay, you have no idea
what is going on.
It's that Oscar guy, isn't it?
- I saw you two at his cabin.
- What?
Yes, that is, that's
it's that Oscar guy.
Do you love him?
All's I know is
that I want to break up.
You're just too clean
and honest for me,
and I just, I need more action.
I need, I need a bad boy.
So, for those reasons,
we are done, Ryan.
So, goodbye forever.
♪
- (HEADPHONES CRASH)
- Agh!
- Oh stupid.
- (KNOBS CLICK)
- Ah!
- (CHAIR SCRAPES FLOOR)
KEN: Has anyone seen the happy couple?
Not since last night. Everything okay?
I'll go by the cabin
and see if Old Man Romance
can calm some nerves. Halt!
(SIGHS, CLEARS THROAT)
♪
♪
COLIN: Okay. I'm okay.
I'll get some air; I'll clear my head.
I'm gonna figure this out.
(MUTTERING)
Think!
(PHONE RINGS)
(BEEPS TO END CALL)
(BOAT ENGINE RUMBLES)
♪
Oh great.
I knew it!
WOMAN: Ryan! Tequila!
You got it!
(BUZZ OF PATRON CHATTER)
(TEQUILA BURBLES)
(CHOKES)
Perfect! I feel nothing!
♪
(TEQUILA BURBLES)
Up your kilt!
(CROWD CHEERS)
BRUCE: Hey, everybody, we're back!
Get on the dance floor!
("LISTEN TO THE MUSIC"
BY THE DOOBIE BROTHERS)
♪
Wooo!
♪
Don't you feel it growin' ♪
Day by day ♪
DANIEL: Ah, still no sign
of the Germans, huh.
It'd be a shame to let our,
our buxom chuppah go to waste.
Let the music play ♪
- Let's dance.
- (RELUCTANT EXHALE)
- Come on.
- Ah, Daniel.
- Come on, Lidz.
- Uh
Like old times.
No, Daniel
Woo!
Oh now mama, don't you ask me why ♪
Whoa oh whoa, listen to the music ♪
Whoa oh whoa, listen to the music ♪
Whoa oh what, listen to the music ♪
DANIEL: (LAUGHS) That's our kid!
All the time ♪
(ENGINE QUIETS)
(INTOXICATED SLURRING)
- How is it going?
- (LIGHTER SNICKS)
♪
Look who it is.
Hey, asshole!
- Shh!
- Bangin' my sister.
- Makin' moves on Crystal.
- Shut up!
Standing on my wharf,
which is clearly marked
"Moonshine Guests Only"
- which you are not.
- Shh! Stop!
Because guests are people you
invite and I'm uninviting you!
I can't dance with you, Daniel,
because this isn't me anymore.
I want you to come home with me. I
I want us to work this out.
- Stop.
- Stop what?
Stop!
Whoa oh whoa, listen to the music ♪
I want a divorce.
Whoa oh whoa, listen to the music ♪
COLIN: I knew you were
involved in this.
In love, man.
Crystal is my everything.
You can't take that away from me.
- Whoa, Ryan.
- Don't you get that?
(THUDDING BLOW)
Shit!
Oscar!
Buddy?
(FOOTSTEPS CRUNCH)
(HELICOPTER ROTORS BEAT OVERHEAD)
(FOOTSTEPS THUD)
- (KNOCKING ON DOOR)
- Heinrich?
- (KNOCKING)
- Lina?
(FOOTSTEPS SHUFFLE)
(GRAVEL CRUNCHES UNDER TIRES)
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
Hey, have you seen Oscar?
Not tonight.
Okay, well you should know
that he's my wedding date.
There's not gonna be a wedding.
Flip frickin' right there will be.
Nope! Two German tourists
were stranded overnight
in the Ovens Sea Caves
and almost drowned.
Search and rescue chopper
is on its way to pick them up.
You know anything about that?
I might have sent them off to dig
for Captain Fox' treasure.
You're lucky they lived
to tell the tale.
Oh, goddammit!
(SIGHS)
LIDIA: You don't have
to leave tonight.
We can talk this through.
There's nothing left to say.
Daniel, you've taught me
more than anyone,
and the company and family
we've built together,
- I'm endlessly proud of
- Then why?
We could do so much more together.
Because together doesn't mean equal.
I just need to be in the
driver's seat of my own life!
Look around, Lidz!
You're in the driver's seat
of a junker!
I, I knew it was a mistake
to try and bring you back.
Bring me back?
Yeah, I told your Mother
it was a bad idea.
What does this have
to do with my Mother?
She's the one who called me.
She said you needed me.
My Mother called you?
She doesn't even like you.
I don't like her either, but
she wanted us back together.
She wanted you to leave this place.
I can't believe I agreed to it.
I guess we're both suckers
for punishment.
- (BAG ZIPS)
- No, just wait. Wait.
(SIGHS)
Take Eleanor back to New York
with you, okay.
She doesn't like it here.
I want her to be happy.
No.
I need time to process this.
I tell, tell the kids uh,
I had a work emergency.
Tell tell the kids whatever.
You wanna be the driver. Drive!
(FOOTSTEPS THUD)
♪
- (GIGGLING)
- Gimme a toke of that!
(GIGGLING)
- LIDIA: Are you kidding me?
- Shit.
The rebellious thing is wearing thin.
Oh, my God, it's just pot!
What's the worst that can happen,
I'll have an extra burrito?
Dad wouldn't care. I'm gonna ask him.
- Your father's leaving.
- What?
When? He said I could come with him.
(SIGHS) El, New York's
not gonna happen yet.
Did Dad say no?
I said no.
I want you here with me.
Why is everything always
about you, and what you want?
Because I suck. Get used to it.
You did this.
You sent him away?
I will never forgive you for this.
(CRYING) Shit!
♪
(FLAMES CRACKLE)
BEA: Any word on the Germans?
Yeah, they're recovering.
At the Four Seasons, on our tab.
(SIGHS)
(FIRE CRACKLES)
I need to tell you something.
A preamble?
Usually, you just spit it out.
Or say nothing.
(FIRE CRACKLES)
I made a deal with Jill LeBlanc.
One shipment.
In, out.
Enough to carry us through the season.
Pay the staff. Fix the septic.
I thought our pirate days
were behind us.
So did I.
And you're fronting this deal, how?
(FIRE CRACKLES)
Oh, no.
(LEATHER CRINKLES)
(LIGHT FOOTSTEPS)
Jill will never get her hands
on this place.
- I won't allow it.
- This is our home.
It's everything we have.
♪
No.
It's our curse.
- Always was.
- (REALIZING EXHALE)
♪
(SHAKY EXHALES)
(DOOR CREAKS OPEN)
(DOOR SHUTS)
Ryan, you're drunk.
(SOFTLY) Hey.
What is that?
(SNIFFLES)
♪
It's what I've been
trying to show you.
I dropped off the money
for the first and last
on the apartment.
(VODKA SLOSHES)
- This was your big deal?
- Yeah.
- (BOX SNAPS)
- Oh.
Ry, I never wanted to break up.
No, I just, I needed Oscar
to think that I didn't care
and I didn't want you to say
anything to incriminalize you.
So, I faked it, to protect you.
You weren't fooling around with Oscar?
No! What? No! God, no! Ew!
That hair and those shorts?
No! I only love you.
No one else.
You're my soulmate.
My Pirate.
I screwed up.
I screwed up, big time.
Babe, it's okay.
You think I don't wanna be
nibble-deep in a hot tub
full of Skinny Girl
margarita mix right now?
It's not that.
You're right, I want vodka.
So much vodka.
- I killed my buddy!
- Wh
What?
Oh.
No, Ryan.
You killed a cop.
♪
- (WAKING GASPS)
- (SCREAMS)
(ALL SCREAMING)
(KEN READS) "Dearly beloved,
we've gathered here today,
on land that was founded
by a drunken pirate
and an evil sea witch,
to marry Heinrich and Lina.
Why would anyone choose
to wed in a town
famous for cursed marriages?"
(SHAKY INHALE AND EXHALE)
"Because real pirates
know that love is a dream.
That only turns into
a curse if you let it."
(CRYING)
KEN: "What the legend of
Captain Fox doesn't tell you
is that the sea witch and the pirate
started with hope."
- (BANDING ON WINDOW)
- COLIN: Let me out!
KEN: "Hope that they could
weather the storm together.
So, if love is a curse
so be it.
Let's all choose to die
a thousand deaths."
(FOOTSTEPS APPROACH QUICKLY)
Not now, Lidia.
Then when, Mom? When?
Were you ever gonna tell me
why you asked Daniel here?
(SIGHS) I did what I thought was best.
Do you really not want me here?
I mean, do you hate me that much?
Tell me the truth.
The truth.
Fine.
I don't want you here.
(WAVES LAP)
♪
(WAVES CRASH)