Mr. Mercedes (2017) s01e05 Episode Script
The Suicide Hour
1 Previously on "Mr.
Mercedes" You said it was fixed, but it's worse, twat.
Yeah, I don't get paid enough To do your job, but you do, and you're going to.
Stop eyeballing me, you dickless wonder.
[TV CHATTER.]
[DISTORTED LAUGHTER.]
[PEOPLE SCREAMING.]
Look, once you point your fob at your car and you press that button, anyone within 100 yards who has the powerful equipment can just, like, snatch up the codes.
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS.]
Is it really wise pissing off a lunatic? People make mistakes when they're angry.
People make corpses when they're angry, too.
WOMAN: That's good.
I brought you something.
Now, you look like a real gumshoe.
Merry Christmas, Ry.
[DEVICE BEEPS.]
[HORN BLARES.]
[INSECTS CHIRPING.]
[SIREN WAILS IN DISTANCE.]
[T-BONE BURNETT'S "IT'S NOT TOO LATE" PLAYS.]
The wind turns like a dagger The rain falls like a hammer The sky has grown dark But it's not too late The weather crashes down What's lost cannot be found The night is closing But it's not too late It's not too late It's not too late The atmosphere is lethal But I will fear no evil [THE FLAMING LIPS' "IT'S SUMMERTIME" PLAYS.]
[BIRDS CHIRPING.]
It's summertime And I can understand If you still feel Sad It's summertime And though it's hard to see Its true possibilities [BELT BUCKLE CLACKS.]
When you look inside All you'll see [BREATHING HEAVILY.]
[TIRES SCREECH.]
When you look inside [MAN GRUNTS.]
All you'll see Is a self-reflected - [PEOPLE SCREAM.]
- Inner sadness Look outside [MUSIC CONTINUES ON CAR STEREO.]
I know that you'll recognize It's summertime [MUSIC STOPS, ENGINE SHUTS OFF.]
[CAR DOOR OPENS.]
[HORN HONKS.]
Morning, Ida.
Bill.
Something wrong? Nothing wrong with me.
Why do I got the feeling I've stepped in shit? I wouldn't know.
Have you stepped in shit, Bill? I like your hair.
[RECORD SCRATCHING.]
[LOCK CLICKS.]
[SCRATCHING CONTINUES.]
[SCRATCHING CONTINUES.]
[TURNTABLE CLICKS.]
[SCRATCHING STOPS.]
[DOOR CREAKS.]
[DOG BARKING IN DISTANCE.]
[FLOORBOARDS CREAKING.]
[LAWNMOWER WHIRRING IN DISTANCE.]
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYS.]
[BIRDS CHIRPING.]
[CHAIR SCRAPES.]
[SIGHS.]
[MOUSE CLICKS.]
[HARD DRIVE CLICKING.]
[KEYBOARD CLACKS.]
[KEYBOARD CLACKS.]
[MOUSE CLICKS.]
[KEYBOARD CLACKING.]
In my fucking house.
[SIGHS.]
[BRAKES SCREECH.]
[PARKING BRAKE CLICKS.]
[SEATBELT CLICKS.]
[ENGINE SHUTS OFF.]
[SIGHS.]
[SHOPPING CART RATTLING.]
Don't expect a tip.
It's part of your job.
[CAR ALARM CHIRPS.]
[DEVICE BEEPS FAINTLY.]
Oh, I won't.
[SIGHS.]
Why are gratuities expected for everything these days? Okay.
Be careful, will you? Expensive.
Sorry.
Tch, tch, tch, tch.
[BEEP.]
Great car.
Have a nice day.
[VEHICLES PASSING.]
[KEYS CLACK.]
[LOCK CLICKS.]
[SIGHS.]
Oh.
Did you hear? What? Come here.
Check this out.
Come here.
Do you know who that is? The dick abusing us the other day.
- This is him? - Yes.
It's fucking Ryan Springhill.
After he picked up his laptop last night, he was literally hit by a truck and killed.
That's insane.
Want to know what the really crazy thing is? Hmm? Last night, I kept having all these, like, fantasies that he was dead, and then it came true.
Hmm.
Like, I willed it to happen with my mind.
[VENDING MACHINE CLACKS.]
Do you think that that's possible? That you could will something to happen with your mind? [CHUCKLES.]
Anything's possible.
Fuck.
Don't make fun of me.
You know I get OCD about karma.
I mean, I am I am, like, wishing that really, really bad shit would happen to this guy, and then bad shit happens.
Well, I'm sure a lot of people wish bad shit on this guy.
I mean, I did.
I'll admit it.
Maybe this wasn't even an accident, you know? Maybe this This was murder.
Murder? I don't know.
I'm just saying, maybe he crossed the truck driver or something.
Yeah, I don't know.
It's pretty fucking weird, though.
I mean, last week, I'm, like, kind of hating on Robi and then his computer blows up, and this week, I'm really putting the hate on Ryan Springhill, and then he gets fucking crushed by a truck.
Hmm.
Well, I, uh I hope you don't hate on me.
[CHUCKLES.]
[DOOR OPENS.]
Brady, my man.
Just who I'm looking for.
- [DOOR CLOSES.]
- I'm your man? Take a ride with me, will you? Mm.
That sounds fun.
A ride into the future, Brady your future.
[DOOR OPENS.]
Wow.
Did you know you had one? I'm serious, here.
I have something big to show you.
[MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS ON STEREO.]
Here you go, Jerome.
- Thanks, Dolly.
- You're welcome.
So, he was in your house? Somebody was.
Who else would it be? Uh, what about Ida? Why would Ida go in my house and put on a record? Well she's a little fucked up.
Let's be honest.
Watch your mouth.
She's a fine person.
Yeah, but she's been totally jonesing to get in your pants.
And look, I read this shit about old ladies.
They get to this point where there's this weird combination between, uh, brain shrinkage and loneliness.
They just want to hump all day, like, all day, like zoo monkeys.
She's got that look, I swear.
It wasn't Ida in my house.
It was him.
[SIGHS.]
All right.
So, how can I help? Am I back on the job? You were never on the job.
The erased security footage, can it be retrieved? Uh, no can do.
Well, I thought nothing could be deleted.
IPhones are like treasure troves to the cops.
You can pull up all sorts of buried shit.
Well, computer shit is one thing.
Video footage, that's a whole nother thing.
Videos can be erased.
But pretty soon, everything will be digital and stored up on some cloud, and once that happens, you'll be able to retrieve anything.
What are you talking about? Stored up in a cloud? Yeah, it's true.
Amazon Web has a bunch of digital stuff up in the satellites, and Google, too.
It's called cloud computer storage.
And once you get that, all of your crotch shots are going to be out on public domain, so might want to watch yourself before people start watching yourself.
You're making this shit up.
[CHUCKLING.]
I'm not.
So you really think he was in your house? Because, look, no offense, but you don't always see straight, especially when you're drinking.
The man was in my house.
[SIGHS.]
ROBI: So, on the night of the gala, there's gonna be hundreds of people, and then they're gonna walk in, and the first thing they're gonna see when they walk in is the Supreme Electronix booth right there.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
You know what this is, Brady? This This is the land of opportunity.
Okay.
Why? Because when this art center opens, this whole town is finally gonna turn a corner.
And? [SIGHS.]
And there will be more Supreme Electronix stores, and those stores will need managers.
But I can't move up to D.
M.
unless I find somebody to take my place as store manager.
Corporate's coming in next week, and they want to meet a candidate.
It's you, Brady.
Me? It's true, you know, we've had our issues.
I think you're a A little strange, but you also have skills.
You want corporate to meet with me? [SCOFFS.]
I can't take Lou for obvious reasons.
And crazy, we can hide for a minute, but, uh, what she is? Hey.
Customers love you.
You're our best technician.
My question, are you up for this? Let me understand.
You want me to take over the store.
It's very possible.
There's an expression.
At some point, a person's number comes up.
Do you know what that means? That they die.
No.
I'm not talking about that number.
I'm talking about the opportunity number.
It's different.
Not everybody gets one, and not everybody who does is ready for it when it happens.
The key is to be prepared.
So, your opportunity number is about to come up, Brady.
Are you ready? Doesn't opportunity, like, knock first? You know? Give you a little warning? I am offering you the key to your future, and you wisecrack? It tells me you're not ready.
Oh, I am.
I just wasn't expecting you to be nice to me.
Nice? I'm more than nice.
I am the best thing that's ever happened to you precisely because I'm not nice.
"Nice.
" Bobby Knight, Woody Hayes, they didn't win championships by being nice.
They did it by building toughness, character.
I'm gonna repeat my question.
Are you ready for this opportunity, Brady? You know what? [INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
[CHATTER FADES.]
I think I am.
Let's go back to the store.
[BOAT HORN HONKS IN DISTANCE.]
Where exactly did these break-ins take place? All over.
Lowtown to Sugar Heights.
And the months leading up to City Center? Really strange, too.
Weren't really robberies.
What is it Manson called it when he broke into houses, moved shit around just to prove he could get to you? Creepy crawling.
That's it.
Creepy crawling.
What this guy was doing was cars Run up the odometers, changing parking spots, radio stations, taking little personal items.
People are strange.
They make any arrests? No, just questioning the usual collection of weirdos, street people, and drug addicts.
It's all in there.
So you think your creepy crawler is the Mercedes Killer? I didn't say that.
You didn't need to.
Somebody's trying to fuck with me.
Let's leave it at that.
Let me dig around, see if I can come up with anything else.
I appreciate it more than you know.
What's your best take here? Mr.
Mercedes gearing up for another run? Maybe just with me.
[DOG BARKS IN DISTANCE.]
[CHILDREN SHOUTING PLAYFULLY IN DISTANCE.]
Honey boy.
You're home.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Uh, yeah, we got a barbecue thing at work.
I forgot, so I'm making a few hamburger patties.
Want me to do it for you? Oh, I'm good.
Thanks.
Almost done.
Oh, yeah.
The rats are back.
I was going to lay some traps again.
Always so busy.
Work, projects, barbecues, pest control, selling ice cream.
Feels like we never get to spend much time together anymore.
Yeah.
You know why I think that is? Why you're running around so busy all the time? Why? [LAUGHING.]
Because it's a rat race.
A rat race.
Get it? [LAUGHS.]
Funny.
Oh.
[LAUGHS.]
So I, um, I may be getting a promotion.
Promotion? Yeah.
I have an interview with corporate tomorrow.
Might be nothing, but it could be big.
It could lead to me becoming manager of the store.
Brady, that's fantastic.
Yeah.
You work so hard, my honey boy.
You need a vacation.
Mom is gonna take you on a vacation Sounds great.
to get away from this rat race! [LAUGHING.]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
Hey, Bill.
You want another? Just iced water, please.
Thanks.
Thanks, Danielle.
Yeah.
Thanks.
Welcome.
Apples? What's with the fucking apples? [CELLPHONE RINGS.]
Janey? JANEY: Hey, I'm at Sunny Acres, and my mom's having one of her good days, so if you wanted to talk to her about Olivia, now would be a good time.
Okay.
I'll meet you there.
Great.
[BREATHES DEEPLY.]
[BRAKES SCREECH.]
[ENGINE SHUTS OFF.]
[KEYS CLACK.]
[SOFT MUSIC PLAYS ON STEREO.]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
Ms.
Patterson.
Detective.
Mm-hmm.
They're just bringing her to the lounge, but we can walk over.
Okay.
Life goes by just like that.
Whatever it is that happened with your daughter, you reach out to her.
Don't be stupid.
If I wanted a lecture, I'd have gone to college.
Suit yourself.
Hi, Mom.
Sometimes, I'm not sure she recognizes me.
Why wouldn't I? I'm not retarded.
I can see you're feeling better.
Mom? - Boo! - [GASPS.]
Oh! [LAUGHING.]
Jesus.
Hello, Janey.
Oh.
Hi, gorgeous.
I'm not gorgeous.
I'm a fright.
Who the hell is that? Not Craig, I hope.
Mom.
I told you, Craig and I divorced.
I was going to say, sure gone to shit.
Mom! This is my friend.
This is Bill Hodges.
Hello, Mrs.
Wharton.
I'll get you some more.
Sit down.
Thanks.
How you feeling? And, uh, who might you be, other than not Craig? Well, I'm an investigator.
Um, Janey has hired me to look into Olivia's death.
I don't want to talk about Olivia.
I understand.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
I'm very sorry for your loss.
Was it unexpected? What happened? She started to change a few months ago.
How so? She was OCD, very depressed, didn't want to go out anymore, not even to visit me.
Anything precipitate the change? The incident with her car.
She was never the same after.
More recently, her new pen pal, Gerald.
Can you tell me about this Gerald? He spoke to her under the umbrella, the blue umbrella.
What did they talk about? Do you know? He told her they had the same demons, and that only he could understand her.
What demons are those? None of your fucking business.
[LAUGHING.]
Okay.
I can see now where Janey gets her mouth.
[LAUGHS.]
He was the one who killed those people, but he told her that they did it together, that it was their doing and that life wasn't worth living anymore.
I told Livvy to stop talking to him.
But by then, she was delusional, and she was seeing things.
And she said She said she had to go with him.
Go where? Did they have some kind of death pact? I don't know if Gerald kept up his end, but my daughter did.
She's gone.
[VOICE BREAKING.]
I-I tried my best for her.
Tried to get help.
Thank you, sir.
I'm sorry.
I know you.
Mom.
I told you, this is Mr.
Hodges.
He's one of the detectives that worked on the Mercedes case.
He's more than that.
You're one of those horrible bullies who hounded Livvy.
I'd know those mean, little pig eyes anywhere.
Mom.
You questioned her over and over, never believed her.
Told her she was partly to blame.
We never said that.
Yes, you did.
Kept telling her she left the keys in the car, which she didn't.
She said you set her up, too.
What is she talking about? At the precinct, "When can I get my car back?" All that.
She said you called the press.
The whole town hated her after that.
Do you know what they wrote on her building? How do you think that felt? It was so awful! I thought Gerald was actually you - Calm down.
Calm down.
Mother.
.
- .
.
trying to finish the job! MAN: She's not supposed to get excited.
- Just take her.
- Get him out of here! - Please.
Please.
Go.
- Get him out! You helped him kill her, too! - Shh, shh, shh, shh.
- [SOBS.]
- Thank you.
- Oh, you're welcome.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
You know, the killer could've taken somebody else's car, committed the exact same crime.
Why did you have to treat her like that? [SIGHS.]
Wasn't as bad as your mother makes it sound.
I don't believe you.
That's exactly the way Olivia made it sound hostile.
You were hostile to her.
Yeah, well, you know, truth be told, she was hostile to us, too.
She cared more about the fucking car than she did about our victims.
She treated us like assholes.
Oh.
You know what I think? I'm getting a sense.
I think you were frustrated.
I think you needed someone to blame, and when When you couldn't find the killer, Olivia would do.
That's not fair.
Did you call the press? Hmm? Did you call the press? Did you set her up? It's very simple.
Yes or no? Not personally.
Fuck.
It was a mistake, Janey.
I wish I could take it back.
Well, it was good for a laugh, though, huh? Ah, that's not fair, either.
What did they write on her walls? - What did they write on her wall? - It doesn't matter now.
Yeah, it does.
Say it.
Say it.
"Killer cunt.
" They wrote "killer cunt.
" [SIGHS.]
[BIRDS CHIRPING.]
[ENGINE SHUTS OFF.]
Such a good boy.
You look like you deserve a treat.
[SIGHS.]
[SEATBELT CLICKS.]
[IMITATES WICKED WITCH OF THE WEST.]
Oh, get in, my pretty, and your little dog, too! [LAUGHS.]
[DOG WHINES.]
Oh, we still have to go over the video submission for the poetry slam.
Some of them are pretty wild.
You see Missy X from Lowtown? Phew! NC-17.
[NORMAL VOICE.]
Dinner time.
[GLOVE SNAPS.]
Oh, and then we also have to go over the speaker for the youth council.
We have to submit a list of candidates by the end of the week.
Well, that one's obvious.
Who? You, dummy.
Me? You're the first student from Bridgton High to get into Harvard.
Add to that, you're freaking gorgeous.
- Tina, gross! That's my brother.
- [LAUGHS.]
Sorry.
Aw, yeah.
I got you a treat.
Some nice [SNIFFS.]
organic meat.
Mm-mmm.
Dinner time.
[CAR CONSOLE BEEPS.]
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATION.]
- Yeah.
- [LAUGHS.]
[ENGINE STARTS.]
[TIRES SQUEAL.]
Fuck.
Fuck.
What was that about? I don't know.
Come on.
[SIGHS.]
I won't deny any of the accusations.
I was harsh to Olivia back then.
I did, in part, blame her for the tragedy, more for the obstruction and the attitude, but I was completely wrong to do so.
I think we can agree on that.
I think we can also agree that we both want this killer caught.
So maybe we can share our passion for that, if not for anything else.
Can we agree to that? I guess fucking not.
[SIREN WAILS.]
[TIRES SQUEAL.]
[FIREMEN SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY.]
MAN: Yeah, let's grab and send the hoses around back.
I want to check for hot spots.
- Hey.
You live here? - We can isolate.
- Yeah.
- Here.
Come on.
Open the door.
Come on.
We don't want to break it down.
MAN: Get the ladder up! [ALARM SCREECHING.]
[COUGHS.]
Ugh.
Shit.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
[STEAM HISSES.]
Oh.
Damn alarm! Sorry.
[SMOKE DETECTOR CLATTERS.]
Um, why don't you step outside with us, Mr.
Hartsfield? We have some other problems.
[BRADY COUGHING.]
Listen.
This is the third false report from this residence in the last two months.
It's a violation of the Nuisance Code.
As I said, I'm very sorry.
MAN: Sorry doesn't cover the cost of a ladder truck, a full crew and a battalion chief.
11 of our 17 firefighters responded.
You have 14 days to pay this fine, or you have to see a judge and there will be additional penalties applied.
- All right? - I understand.
Honey boy? What's going on? Oh, uh, you left a pan on, - and we got a ticket this time.
- Oh.
You didn't hear the knocks? It's it's my fault.
Everything is my fault.
- Don't blame my son.
- It's okay.
You go.
Go back upstairs now.
Well, did you offer either of these gentlemen a drink or some coffee? I can I can brew some coffee.
- No.
No thank you, ma'am.
- No, we should be going.
- Hey, 14 days.
- 14 days.
[SIGHS.]
Oh, my baby.
Go! Oh, shit.
[INSECTS CHIRPING.]
[DOG BARKS IN DISTANCE.]
Fucking asshole.
[SIGHS.]
[RINGING.]
[SIGHS.]
Hey, it's Allie.
I'm not here right now.
- [SIGHS.]
- [BEEP.]
Hello, Allie.
Yeah, this is your dad.
I know it's late and it's been awhile, but, um, yeah, I'm just missing you today.
And, um, I don't know.
Just Just give me a call sometime if if you feel like it.
You know, we should We should, uh, we should really talk about everything.
Love you.
[SIGHS.]
Fuck.
[HODGES SLURPS.]
[EXHALES SHARPLY.]
JEROME: Mr.
Hodges? Jesus.
Fuck you! Uh, I brought you something.
It's a digital camera.
It's wide angle, and it can be mounted.
And, best of all, it backs up into an encrypted SD card inside the camera so it can't get erased remotely.
Okay.
Okay.
Thanks.
Now, beat it.
I told you it's not safe around here.
Yeah, look, about that.
Uh, I don't think it's entirely safe around my house either.
What do you mean? [SIGHS.]
Well, it could be nothing, but I saw a strange car parked in front of my house this morning.
And when I walked up to it, whoever was driving it just drove off in a hurry, so Did you get a look at him? Uh, no.
Look, I knew it was a him, though.
Okay.
How old? I don't know.
I saw, like, the back of his head for a split second.
Long hair? Short hair? Like, what build? I don't know.
I barely got a glance at his All right.
Well, come up The make of the car.
- What make? - Yeah, what make of the fucking car? - I don't know.
It's a - License plate? - Did you got a license plate? - No license plate.
Oh, fuck it! What are you doing out here? What do you mean what am I doing? What's it look like I'm doing? I'm drinking a whiskey, pacing up and down.
Reflecting on being a total fuck-up because that's what fuck-ups do.
Okay, like, what happened? Nothing happened.
It's a status reflection.
Fuck-up is a status, as well as a verb.
I would've thought you going to Harvard, you'd have known that.
Okay, I can see you're in one of your moods right now.
Fuck right, I'm in a mood.
Now, do what I told you, and fuck the way off, will you? Beat it! I told you! Fuck off.
[SIGHS.]
Jerome.
Thank you for this, but stay the fuck away from my house.
I mean it.
Yeah, I heard you.
Well, if you heard me, do what you're fucking told! Stay the fuck away from me! All right.
That's it.
[COMPUTER BEEPING.]
[COMPUTER CHIMING.]
[BEEPING CONTINUES.]
[CHIMING CONTINUES.]
[MOUSE CLICKING.]
[KEYBOARD CLACKING.]
[COMPUTER CHIMES.]
Ah.
There you are sort of.
You're looking a bit pale.
I didn't know if you'd be awake.
[DISTORTED.]
I didn't know you were still interested.
I'm always awake.
Guilty conscience.
Occupational hazard.
Getting sloppy, I see.
How am I sloppy, flabby? [CHUCKLES.]
You broke into my house this morning and left your little breadcrumb trail there in the form of apples.
I mean, for fuck's sake.
I think you're trying to get caught.
Well, it won't be by you.
No? Truth be told, I'd hoped you'd be better at this.
Well, I try not to disappoint.
They call this the suicide hour, don't they? I've heard that.
Having bad thoughts, Detective? That's the plan, isn't it? I'm supposed to kill myself like Olivia Trelawney.
Come on.
It's the middle of the night.
Let's just tell the truth for once.
We'll go back to haunting each other after.
You seem on edge.
Let's talk about it.
So you can drive me over the edge.
Ooh.
Well, people need to talk.
Did, um did you daughter not pick up? Little Allie Hodges.
Oh, wait.
My bad.
She doesn't use Hodges anymore.
Allie Shannon.
Back to mom's maiden name.
That must be hurtful.
I love the Internet.
Current address Hope Town Rehab Clinic, Oak Falls, room 11, I believe.
Is that online? Imagine your daughter, a drunk just like you.
What's the saying? The acorn doesn't fall far from the asshole.
That all you got? [SMACKS LIPS.]
Pick up the gun, Detective.
[SCOFFS.]
Do you really think you're that good? That you could make me eat my gun? [CHUCKLES.]
I'm just giving it the ol' college try, man.
[LAUGHS.]
You never went to fucking college.
Wow.
Sounds like you know me really well.
Oh, yeah.
I know enough.
Probably didn't have any friends at school growing up, did you not? No? Missed your high school prom.
Probably never kissed a girl.
I bet you never even had a date.
Are we consulting the clichÃÂ handbook now? Probably a victim of sexual abuse.
Who was your first fuck, Mommy, Daddy, or the clergy? You all like to think that you're different, something special.
It turns out, you're all the fucking same Disappointing.
You don't know shit.
Oh-ho! Zing! Nice comeback.
Was it Mommy? Is it still Mommy? [LAUGHS.]
Maybe the ol' clichÃÂ handbook was a good call.
Pick up your gun, Detective.
I know you have it handy just in case the urge strikes.
You mean this gun? Police issue.
Fitting.
You know if your goal is to make me suicidal, I have to tell you, I've never felt more alive.
Perhaps a tribute to our special relationship.
Perhaps.
It's okay.
This is my favorite part.
Supposed, then, I did shoot myself.
What then becomes of you? [SCOFFS.]
I'm touched.
I appreciate the concern.
Oh, I am concerned.
After all, a man needs a quest in life.
Like, after I'm gone, I mean, what would you do, besides Mommy? Shut your fucking mouth! [LAUGHING.]
Oh, Jesus balls! Aah! [LAUGHS.]
I think I think you actually are fucking your mother.
Well, I'll be damned.
Oh.
I Fuck me Ma when I go home The boys won't leave the girls alone I suppose it beats driving around a banged-up old Civic, though.
[SCOFFS.]
You actually think you're getting close.
It's kind of funny.
Oh, yeah.
What's life without a good laugh? You recording all this for the police? Police? No.
No, no, no, no.
The cops, too hung up on due process and trials, all that shit.
Waste of fucking time if you ask me.
No, I'd prefer just to shoot your little balls off, one at a time.
Oh, yeah.
Mano y mano.
Isn't that what you'd want, now, if you weren't such a sniveling, little, fucking coward? [SARCASTICALLY.]
Oh, wow.
That really hurt.
My heart has a big boo-boo now.
Right.
Well, I'll tell you what.
Let's meet face-to-face, then.
I have a good buddy working in the used-car business.
Get you a good deal.
You could trade in that shitty, little Civic, upgrade to one of those fancy Porsche sports cars.
Imagine driving around one of those hot rods, huh? I mean, if nothing else, it would cut the urge to fuck your mother.
Mama! I'm officially bored now.
I'm just gonna kill you.
[SIGHS.]
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYS.]
[BREATHING SHALLOWLY.]
[FOOTSTEPS APPROACH.]
Is it the big witch? Go away.
[SIGHS.]
I just want you to know, I'm gonna get better.
Please go away.
It's a bad one.
I can tell.
The big witch.
Let Mommy help.
It's okay.
Shh.
It's okay.
I'm here.
I'm here, my sweet boy.
Stop.
Make me stop.
What's wrong? Why won't you let me help you? I have to get up early.
My interview.
All the more reason to let me help you.
Brady needs his sleep.
Shh.
[SOBS.]
- Mom, please! - [GASPS.]
Oh.
[EXHALES FORCEFULLY.]
[SPEAKERS CRACKLE.]
["I SHALL NOT BE MOVED" PLAYS.]
Oh, I shall not, I shall not be moved - I shall not - [VOMITS.]
I shall not be moved - Like a tree - [TOILET FLUSHES.]
Standing by the water I shall not be moved Let me sing it Oh, backslider, I shall not be moved Oh, backslider, I shall not be moved Like a tree standing by the water I shall not be moved Oh, I shall not - I shall not - [SNIFFS DEEPLY.]
I shall not be moved Like a tree standing by the water - I shall not be moved - [SPITS.]
[SOBBING.]
On my way to Heaven, I shall not be moved Like a tree standing by the water I shall not be moved Oh, backslider, I shall not be moved
Mercedes" You said it was fixed, but it's worse, twat.
Yeah, I don't get paid enough To do your job, but you do, and you're going to.
Stop eyeballing me, you dickless wonder.
[TV CHATTER.]
[DISTORTED LAUGHTER.]
[PEOPLE SCREAMING.]
Look, once you point your fob at your car and you press that button, anyone within 100 yards who has the powerful equipment can just, like, snatch up the codes.
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS.]
Is it really wise pissing off a lunatic? People make mistakes when they're angry.
People make corpses when they're angry, too.
WOMAN: That's good.
I brought you something.
Now, you look like a real gumshoe.
Merry Christmas, Ry.
[DEVICE BEEPS.]
[HORN BLARES.]
[INSECTS CHIRPING.]
[SIREN WAILS IN DISTANCE.]
[T-BONE BURNETT'S "IT'S NOT TOO LATE" PLAYS.]
The wind turns like a dagger The rain falls like a hammer The sky has grown dark But it's not too late The weather crashes down What's lost cannot be found The night is closing But it's not too late It's not too late It's not too late The atmosphere is lethal But I will fear no evil [THE FLAMING LIPS' "IT'S SUMMERTIME" PLAYS.]
[BIRDS CHIRPING.]
It's summertime And I can understand If you still feel Sad It's summertime And though it's hard to see Its true possibilities [BELT BUCKLE CLACKS.]
When you look inside All you'll see [BREATHING HEAVILY.]
[TIRES SCREECH.]
When you look inside [MAN GRUNTS.]
All you'll see Is a self-reflected - [PEOPLE SCREAM.]
- Inner sadness Look outside [MUSIC CONTINUES ON CAR STEREO.]
I know that you'll recognize It's summertime [MUSIC STOPS, ENGINE SHUTS OFF.]
[CAR DOOR OPENS.]
[HORN HONKS.]
Morning, Ida.
Bill.
Something wrong? Nothing wrong with me.
Why do I got the feeling I've stepped in shit? I wouldn't know.
Have you stepped in shit, Bill? I like your hair.
[RECORD SCRATCHING.]
[LOCK CLICKS.]
[SCRATCHING CONTINUES.]
[SCRATCHING CONTINUES.]
[TURNTABLE CLICKS.]
[SCRATCHING STOPS.]
[DOOR CREAKS.]
[DOG BARKING IN DISTANCE.]
[FLOORBOARDS CREAKING.]
[LAWNMOWER WHIRRING IN DISTANCE.]
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYS.]
[BIRDS CHIRPING.]
[CHAIR SCRAPES.]
[SIGHS.]
[MOUSE CLICKS.]
[HARD DRIVE CLICKING.]
[KEYBOARD CLACKS.]
[KEYBOARD CLACKS.]
[MOUSE CLICKS.]
[KEYBOARD CLACKING.]
In my fucking house.
[SIGHS.]
[BRAKES SCREECH.]
[PARKING BRAKE CLICKS.]
[SEATBELT CLICKS.]
[ENGINE SHUTS OFF.]
[SIGHS.]
[SHOPPING CART RATTLING.]
Don't expect a tip.
It's part of your job.
[CAR ALARM CHIRPS.]
[DEVICE BEEPS FAINTLY.]
Oh, I won't.
[SIGHS.]
Why are gratuities expected for everything these days? Okay.
Be careful, will you? Expensive.
Sorry.
Tch, tch, tch, tch.
[BEEP.]
Great car.
Have a nice day.
[VEHICLES PASSING.]
[KEYS CLACK.]
[LOCK CLICKS.]
[SIGHS.]
Oh.
Did you hear? What? Come here.
Check this out.
Come here.
Do you know who that is? The dick abusing us the other day.
- This is him? - Yes.
It's fucking Ryan Springhill.
After he picked up his laptop last night, he was literally hit by a truck and killed.
That's insane.
Want to know what the really crazy thing is? Hmm? Last night, I kept having all these, like, fantasies that he was dead, and then it came true.
Hmm.
Like, I willed it to happen with my mind.
[VENDING MACHINE CLACKS.]
Do you think that that's possible? That you could will something to happen with your mind? [CHUCKLES.]
Anything's possible.
Fuck.
Don't make fun of me.
You know I get OCD about karma.
I mean, I am I am, like, wishing that really, really bad shit would happen to this guy, and then bad shit happens.
Well, I'm sure a lot of people wish bad shit on this guy.
I mean, I did.
I'll admit it.
Maybe this wasn't even an accident, you know? Maybe this This was murder.
Murder? I don't know.
I'm just saying, maybe he crossed the truck driver or something.
Yeah, I don't know.
It's pretty fucking weird, though.
I mean, last week, I'm, like, kind of hating on Robi and then his computer blows up, and this week, I'm really putting the hate on Ryan Springhill, and then he gets fucking crushed by a truck.
Hmm.
Well, I, uh I hope you don't hate on me.
[CHUCKLES.]
[DOOR OPENS.]
Brady, my man.
Just who I'm looking for.
- [DOOR CLOSES.]
- I'm your man? Take a ride with me, will you? Mm.
That sounds fun.
A ride into the future, Brady your future.
[DOOR OPENS.]
Wow.
Did you know you had one? I'm serious, here.
I have something big to show you.
[MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS ON STEREO.]
Here you go, Jerome.
- Thanks, Dolly.
- You're welcome.
So, he was in your house? Somebody was.
Who else would it be? Uh, what about Ida? Why would Ida go in my house and put on a record? Well she's a little fucked up.
Let's be honest.
Watch your mouth.
She's a fine person.
Yeah, but she's been totally jonesing to get in your pants.
And look, I read this shit about old ladies.
They get to this point where there's this weird combination between, uh, brain shrinkage and loneliness.
They just want to hump all day, like, all day, like zoo monkeys.
She's got that look, I swear.
It wasn't Ida in my house.
It was him.
[SIGHS.]
All right.
So, how can I help? Am I back on the job? You were never on the job.
The erased security footage, can it be retrieved? Uh, no can do.
Well, I thought nothing could be deleted.
IPhones are like treasure troves to the cops.
You can pull up all sorts of buried shit.
Well, computer shit is one thing.
Video footage, that's a whole nother thing.
Videos can be erased.
But pretty soon, everything will be digital and stored up on some cloud, and once that happens, you'll be able to retrieve anything.
What are you talking about? Stored up in a cloud? Yeah, it's true.
Amazon Web has a bunch of digital stuff up in the satellites, and Google, too.
It's called cloud computer storage.
And once you get that, all of your crotch shots are going to be out on public domain, so might want to watch yourself before people start watching yourself.
You're making this shit up.
[CHUCKLING.]
I'm not.
So you really think he was in your house? Because, look, no offense, but you don't always see straight, especially when you're drinking.
The man was in my house.
[SIGHS.]
ROBI: So, on the night of the gala, there's gonna be hundreds of people, and then they're gonna walk in, and the first thing they're gonna see when they walk in is the Supreme Electronix booth right there.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
You know what this is, Brady? This This is the land of opportunity.
Okay.
Why? Because when this art center opens, this whole town is finally gonna turn a corner.
And? [SIGHS.]
And there will be more Supreme Electronix stores, and those stores will need managers.
But I can't move up to D.
M.
unless I find somebody to take my place as store manager.
Corporate's coming in next week, and they want to meet a candidate.
It's you, Brady.
Me? It's true, you know, we've had our issues.
I think you're a A little strange, but you also have skills.
You want corporate to meet with me? [SCOFFS.]
I can't take Lou for obvious reasons.
And crazy, we can hide for a minute, but, uh, what she is? Hey.
Customers love you.
You're our best technician.
My question, are you up for this? Let me understand.
You want me to take over the store.
It's very possible.
There's an expression.
At some point, a person's number comes up.
Do you know what that means? That they die.
No.
I'm not talking about that number.
I'm talking about the opportunity number.
It's different.
Not everybody gets one, and not everybody who does is ready for it when it happens.
The key is to be prepared.
So, your opportunity number is about to come up, Brady.
Are you ready? Doesn't opportunity, like, knock first? You know? Give you a little warning? I am offering you the key to your future, and you wisecrack? It tells me you're not ready.
Oh, I am.
I just wasn't expecting you to be nice to me.
Nice? I'm more than nice.
I am the best thing that's ever happened to you precisely because I'm not nice.
"Nice.
" Bobby Knight, Woody Hayes, they didn't win championships by being nice.
They did it by building toughness, character.
I'm gonna repeat my question.
Are you ready for this opportunity, Brady? You know what? [INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
[CHATTER FADES.]
I think I am.
Let's go back to the store.
[BOAT HORN HONKS IN DISTANCE.]
Where exactly did these break-ins take place? All over.
Lowtown to Sugar Heights.
And the months leading up to City Center? Really strange, too.
Weren't really robberies.
What is it Manson called it when he broke into houses, moved shit around just to prove he could get to you? Creepy crawling.
That's it.
Creepy crawling.
What this guy was doing was cars Run up the odometers, changing parking spots, radio stations, taking little personal items.
People are strange.
They make any arrests? No, just questioning the usual collection of weirdos, street people, and drug addicts.
It's all in there.
So you think your creepy crawler is the Mercedes Killer? I didn't say that.
You didn't need to.
Somebody's trying to fuck with me.
Let's leave it at that.
Let me dig around, see if I can come up with anything else.
I appreciate it more than you know.
What's your best take here? Mr.
Mercedes gearing up for another run? Maybe just with me.
[DOG BARKS IN DISTANCE.]
[CHILDREN SHOUTING PLAYFULLY IN DISTANCE.]
Honey boy.
You're home.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Uh, yeah, we got a barbecue thing at work.
I forgot, so I'm making a few hamburger patties.
Want me to do it for you? Oh, I'm good.
Thanks.
Almost done.
Oh, yeah.
The rats are back.
I was going to lay some traps again.
Always so busy.
Work, projects, barbecues, pest control, selling ice cream.
Feels like we never get to spend much time together anymore.
Yeah.
You know why I think that is? Why you're running around so busy all the time? Why? [LAUGHING.]
Because it's a rat race.
A rat race.
Get it? [LAUGHS.]
Funny.
Oh.
[LAUGHS.]
So I, um, I may be getting a promotion.
Promotion? Yeah.
I have an interview with corporate tomorrow.
Might be nothing, but it could be big.
It could lead to me becoming manager of the store.
Brady, that's fantastic.
Yeah.
You work so hard, my honey boy.
You need a vacation.
Mom is gonna take you on a vacation Sounds great.
to get away from this rat race! [LAUGHING.]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
Hey, Bill.
You want another? Just iced water, please.
Thanks.
Thanks, Danielle.
Yeah.
Thanks.
Welcome.
Apples? What's with the fucking apples? [CELLPHONE RINGS.]
Janey? JANEY: Hey, I'm at Sunny Acres, and my mom's having one of her good days, so if you wanted to talk to her about Olivia, now would be a good time.
Okay.
I'll meet you there.
Great.
[BREATHES DEEPLY.]
[BRAKES SCREECH.]
[ENGINE SHUTS OFF.]
[KEYS CLACK.]
[SOFT MUSIC PLAYS ON STEREO.]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
Ms.
Patterson.
Detective.
Mm-hmm.
They're just bringing her to the lounge, but we can walk over.
Okay.
Life goes by just like that.
Whatever it is that happened with your daughter, you reach out to her.
Don't be stupid.
If I wanted a lecture, I'd have gone to college.
Suit yourself.
Hi, Mom.
Sometimes, I'm not sure she recognizes me.
Why wouldn't I? I'm not retarded.
I can see you're feeling better.
Mom? - Boo! - [GASPS.]
Oh! [LAUGHING.]
Jesus.
Hello, Janey.
Oh.
Hi, gorgeous.
I'm not gorgeous.
I'm a fright.
Who the hell is that? Not Craig, I hope.
Mom.
I told you, Craig and I divorced.
I was going to say, sure gone to shit.
Mom! This is my friend.
This is Bill Hodges.
Hello, Mrs.
Wharton.
I'll get you some more.
Sit down.
Thanks.
How you feeling? And, uh, who might you be, other than not Craig? Well, I'm an investigator.
Um, Janey has hired me to look into Olivia's death.
I don't want to talk about Olivia.
I understand.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
I'm very sorry for your loss.
Was it unexpected? What happened? She started to change a few months ago.
How so? She was OCD, very depressed, didn't want to go out anymore, not even to visit me.
Anything precipitate the change? The incident with her car.
She was never the same after.
More recently, her new pen pal, Gerald.
Can you tell me about this Gerald? He spoke to her under the umbrella, the blue umbrella.
What did they talk about? Do you know? He told her they had the same demons, and that only he could understand her.
What demons are those? None of your fucking business.
[LAUGHING.]
Okay.
I can see now where Janey gets her mouth.
[LAUGHS.]
He was the one who killed those people, but he told her that they did it together, that it was their doing and that life wasn't worth living anymore.
I told Livvy to stop talking to him.
But by then, she was delusional, and she was seeing things.
And she said She said she had to go with him.
Go where? Did they have some kind of death pact? I don't know if Gerald kept up his end, but my daughter did.
She's gone.
[VOICE BREAKING.]
I-I tried my best for her.
Tried to get help.
Thank you, sir.
I'm sorry.
I know you.
Mom.
I told you, this is Mr.
Hodges.
He's one of the detectives that worked on the Mercedes case.
He's more than that.
You're one of those horrible bullies who hounded Livvy.
I'd know those mean, little pig eyes anywhere.
Mom.
You questioned her over and over, never believed her.
Told her she was partly to blame.
We never said that.
Yes, you did.
Kept telling her she left the keys in the car, which she didn't.
She said you set her up, too.
What is she talking about? At the precinct, "When can I get my car back?" All that.
She said you called the press.
The whole town hated her after that.
Do you know what they wrote on her building? How do you think that felt? It was so awful! I thought Gerald was actually you - Calm down.
Calm down.
Mother.
.
- .
.
trying to finish the job! MAN: She's not supposed to get excited.
- Just take her.
- Get him out of here! - Please.
Please.
Go.
- Get him out! You helped him kill her, too! - Shh, shh, shh, shh.
- [SOBS.]
- Thank you.
- Oh, you're welcome.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
You know, the killer could've taken somebody else's car, committed the exact same crime.
Why did you have to treat her like that? [SIGHS.]
Wasn't as bad as your mother makes it sound.
I don't believe you.
That's exactly the way Olivia made it sound hostile.
You were hostile to her.
Yeah, well, you know, truth be told, she was hostile to us, too.
She cared more about the fucking car than she did about our victims.
She treated us like assholes.
Oh.
You know what I think? I'm getting a sense.
I think you were frustrated.
I think you needed someone to blame, and when When you couldn't find the killer, Olivia would do.
That's not fair.
Did you call the press? Hmm? Did you call the press? Did you set her up? It's very simple.
Yes or no? Not personally.
Fuck.
It was a mistake, Janey.
I wish I could take it back.
Well, it was good for a laugh, though, huh? Ah, that's not fair, either.
What did they write on her walls? - What did they write on her wall? - It doesn't matter now.
Yeah, it does.
Say it.
Say it.
"Killer cunt.
" They wrote "killer cunt.
" [SIGHS.]
[BIRDS CHIRPING.]
[ENGINE SHUTS OFF.]
Such a good boy.
You look like you deserve a treat.
[SIGHS.]
[SEATBELT CLICKS.]
[IMITATES WICKED WITCH OF THE WEST.]
Oh, get in, my pretty, and your little dog, too! [LAUGHS.]
[DOG WHINES.]
Oh, we still have to go over the video submission for the poetry slam.
Some of them are pretty wild.
You see Missy X from Lowtown? Phew! NC-17.
[NORMAL VOICE.]
Dinner time.
[GLOVE SNAPS.]
Oh, and then we also have to go over the speaker for the youth council.
We have to submit a list of candidates by the end of the week.
Well, that one's obvious.
Who? You, dummy.
Me? You're the first student from Bridgton High to get into Harvard.
Add to that, you're freaking gorgeous.
- Tina, gross! That's my brother.
- [LAUGHS.]
Sorry.
Aw, yeah.
I got you a treat.
Some nice [SNIFFS.]
organic meat.
Mm-mmm.
Dinner time.
[CAR CONSOLE BEEPS.]
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATION.]
- Yeah.
- [LAUGHS.]
[ENGINE STARTS.]
[TIRES SQUEAL.]
Fuck.
Fuck.
What was that about? I don't know.
Come on.
[SIGHS.]
I won't deny any of the accusations.
I was harsh to Olivia back then.
I did, in part, blame her for the tragedy, more for the obstruction and the attitude, but I was completely wrong to do so.
I think we can agree on that.
I think we can also agree that we both want this killer caught.
So maybe we can share our passion for that, if not for anything else.
Can we agree to that? I guess fucking not.
[SIREN WAILS.]
[TIRES SQUEAL.]
[FIREMEN SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY.]
MAN: Yeah, let's grab and send the hoses around back.
I want to check for hot spots.
- Hey.
You live here? - We can isolate.
- Yeah.
- Here.
Come on.
Open the door.
Come on.
We don't want to break it down.
MAN: Get the ladder up! [ALARM SCREECHING.]
[COUGHS.]
Ugh.
Shit.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
[STEAM HISSES.]
Oh.
Damn alarm! Sorry.
[SMOKE DETECTOR CLATTERS.]
Um, why don't you step outside with us, Mr.
Hartsfield? We have some other problems.
[BRADY COUGHING.]
Listen.
This is the third false report from this residence in the last two months.
It's a violation of the Nuisance Code.
As I said, I'm very sorry.
MAN: Sorry doesn't cover the cost of a ladder truck, a full crew and a battalion chief.
11 of our 17 firefighters responded.
You have 14 days to pay this fine, or you have to see a judge and there will be additional penalties applied.
- All right? - I understand.
Honey boy? What's going on? Oh, uh, you left a pan on, - and we got a ticket this time.
- Oh.
You didn't hear the knocks? It's it's my fault.
Everything is my fault.
- Don't blame my son.
- It's okay.
You go.
Go back upstairs now.
Well, did you offer either of these gentlemen a drink or some coffee? I can I can brew some coffee.
- No.
No thank you, ma'am.
- No, we should be going.
- Hey, 14 days.
- 14 days.
[SIGHS.]
Oh, my baby.
Go! Oh, shit.
[INSECTS CHIRPING.]
[DOG BARKS IN DISTANCE.]
Fucking asshole.
[SIGHS.]
[RINGING.]
[SIGHS.]
Hey, it's Allie.
I'm not here right now.
- [SIGHS.]
- [BEEP.]
Hello, Allie.
Yeah, this is your dad.
I know it's late and it's been awhile, but, um, yeah, I'm just missing you today.
And, um, I don't know.
Just Just give me a call sometime if if you feel like it.
You know, we should We should, uh, we should really talk about everything.
Love you.
[SIGHS.]
Fuck.
[HODGES SLURPS.]
[EXHALES SHARPLY.]
JEROME: Mr.
Hodges? Jesus.
Fuck you! Uh, I brought you something.
It's a digital camera.
It's wide angle, and it can be mounted.
And, best of all, it backs up into an encrypted SD card inside the camera so it can't get erased remotely.
Okay.
Okay.
Thanks.
Now, beat it.
I told you it's not safe around here.
Yeah, look, about that.
Uh, I don't think it's entirely safe around my house either.
What do you mean? [SIGHS.]
Well, it could be nothing, but I saw a strange car parked in front of my house this morning.
And when I walked up to it, whoever was driving it just drove off in a hurry, so Did you get a look at him? Uh, no.
Look, I knew it was a him, though.
Okay.
How old? I don't know.
I saw, like, the back of his head for a split second.
Long hair? Short hair? Like, what build? I don't know.
I barely got a glance at his All right.
Well, come up The make of the car.
- What make? - Yeah, what make of the fucking car? - I don't know.
It's a - License plate? - Did you got a license plate? - No license plate.
Oh, fuck it! What are you doing out here? What do you mean what am I doing? What's it look like I'm doing? I'm drinking a whiskey, pacing up and down.
Reflecting on being a total fuck-up because that's what fuck-ups do.
Okay, like, what happened? Nothing happened.
It's a status reflection.
Fuck-up is a status, as well as a verb.
I would've thought you going to Harvard, you'd have known that.
Okay, I can see you're in one of your moods right now.
Fuck right, I'm in a mood.
Now, do what I told you, and fuck the way off, will you? Beat it! I told you! Fuck off.
[SIGHS.]
Jerome.
Thank you for this, but stay the fuck away from my house.
I mean it.
Yeah, I heard you.
Well, if you heard me, do what you're fucking told! Stay the fuck away from me! All right.
That's it.
[COMPUTER BEEPING.]
[COMPUTER CHIMING.]
[BEEPING CONTINUES.]
[CHIMING CONTINUES.]
[MOUSE CLICKING.]
[KEYBOARD CLACKING.]
[COMPUTER CHIMES.]
Ah.
There you are sort of.
You're looking a bit pale.
I didn't know if you'd be awake.
[DISTORTED.]
I didn't know you were still interested.
I'm always awake.
Guilty conscience.
Occupational hazard.
Getting sloppy, I see.
How am I sloppy, flabby? [CHUCKLES.]
You broke into my house this morning and left your little breadcrumb trail there in the form of apples.
I mean, for fuck's sake.
I think you're trying to get caught.
Well, it won't be by you.
No? Truth be told, I'd hoped you'd be better at this.
Well, I try not to disappoint.
They call this the suicide hour, don't they? I've heard that.
Having bad thoughts, Detective? That's the plan, isn't it? I'm supposed to kill myself like Olivia Trelawney.
Come on.
It's the middle of the night.
Let's just tell the truth for once.
We'll go back to haunting each other after.
You seem on edge.
Let's talk about it.
So you can drive me over the edge.
Ooh.
Well, people need to talk.
Did, um did you daughter not pick up? Little Allie Hodges.
Oh, wait.
My bad.
She doesn't use Hodges anymore.
Allie Shannon.
Back to mom's maiden name.
That must be hurtful.
I love the Internet.
Current address Hope Town Rehab Clinic, Oak Falls, room 11, I believe.
Is that online? Imagine your daughter, a drunk just like you.
What's the saying? The acorn doesn't fall far from the asshole.
That all you got? [SMACKS LIPS.]
Pick up the gun, Detective.
[SCOFFS.]
Do you really think you're that good? That you could make me eat my gun? [CHUCKLES.]
I'm just giving it the ol' college try, man.
[LAUGHS.]
You never went to fucking college.
Wow.
Sounds like you know me really well.
Oh, yeah.
I know enough.
Probably didn't have any friends at school growing up, did you not? No? Missed your high school prom.
Probably never kissed a girl.
I bet you never even had a date.
Are we consulting the clichÃÂ handbook now? Probably a victim of sexual abuse.
Who was your first fuck, Mommy, Daddy, or the clergy? You all like to think that you're different, something special.
It turns out, you're all the fucking same Disappointing.
You don't know shit.
Oh-ho! Zing! Nice comeback.
Was it Mommy? Is it still Mommy? [LAUGHS.]
Maybe the ol' clichÃÂ handbook was a good call.
Pick up your gun, Detective.
I know you have it handy just in case the urge strikes.
You mean this gun? Police issue.
Fitting.
You know if your goal is to make me suicidal, I have to tell you, I've never felt more alive.
Perhaps a tribute to our special relationship.
Perhaps.
It's okay.
This is my favorite part.
Supposed, then, I did shoot myself.
What then becomes of you? [SCOFFS.]
I'm touched.
I appreciate the concern.
Oh, I am concerned.
After all, a man needs a quest in life.
Like, after I'm gone, I mean, what would you do, besides Mommy? Shut your fucking mouth! [LAUGHING.]
Oh, Jesus balls! Aah! [LAUGHS.]
I think I think you actually are fucking your mother.
Well, I'll be damned.
Oh.
I Fuck me Ma when I go home The boys won't leave the girls alone I suppose it beats driving around a banged-up old Civic, though.
[SCOFFS.]
You actually think you're getting close.
It's kind of funny.
Oh, yeah.
What's life without a good laugh? You recording all this for the police? Police? No.
No, no, no, no.
The cops, too hung up on due process and trials, all that shit.
Waste of fucking time if you ask me.
No, I'd prefer just to shoot your little balls off, one at a time.
Oh, yeah.
Mano y mano.
Isn't that what you'd want, now, if you weren't such a sniveling, little, fucking coward? [SARCASTICALLY.]
Oh, wow.
That really hurt.
My heart has a big boo-boo now.
Right.
Well, I'll tell you what.
Let's meet face-to-face, then.
I have a good buddy working in the used-car business.
Get you a good deal.
You could trade in that shitty, little Civic, upgrade to one of those fancy Porsche sports cars.
Imagine driving around one of those hot rods, huh? I mean, if nothing else, it would cut the urge to fuck your mother.
Mama! I'm officially bored now.
I'm just gonna kill you.
[SIGHS.]
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYS.]
[BREATHING SHALLOWLY.]
[FOOTSTEPS APPROACH.]
Is it the big witch? Go away.
[SIGHS.]
I just want you to know, I'm gonna get better.
Please go away.
It's a bad one.
I can tell.
The big witch.
Let Mommy help.
It's okay.
Shh.
It's okay.
I'm here.
I'm here, my sweet boy.
Stop.
Make me stop.
What's wrong? Why won't you let me help you? I have to get up early.
My interview.
All the more reason to let me help you.
Brady needs his sleep.
Shh.
[SOBS.]
- Mom, please! - [GASPS.]
Oh.
[EXHALES FORCEFULLY.]
[SPEAKERS CRACKLE.]
["I SHALL NOT BE MOVED" PLAYS.]
Oh, I shall not, I shall not be moved - I shall not - [VOMITS.]
I shall not be moved - Like a tree - [TOILET FLUSHES.]
Standing by the water I shall not be moved Let me sing it Oh, backslider, I shall not be moved Oh, backslider, I shall not be moved Like a tree standing by the water I shall not be moved Oh, I shall not - I shall not - [SNIFFS DEEPLY.]
I shall not be moved Like a tree standing by the water - I shall not be moved - [SPITS.]
[SOBBING.]
On my way to Heaven, I shall not be moved Like a tree standing by the water I shall not be moved Oh, backslider, I shall not be moved