My Unorthodox Life (2021) s01e05 Episode Script

1
[upbeat music playing]
[boat horn blows]
- [Ben] Whoa!
- [Miriam] Wow, this is cool
Holy cow!
Beautiful!
- I could live here
- [Ben] Oh, my God!
[Miriam laughing]
- [Batsheva] I love it
- [Miriam] Okay
- [Batsheva] Ima went all out for this
- [Shlomo] Yeah
- [Miriam] When is Robert getting here?
- [Shlomo] I'm assuming soon
- He's coming with Ima, right?
- I have no idea
Do you think this is going to strike
a genuine change inside of him?
There's a lot of good things
going on in his life
- He might as well say yes to something
- [Shlomo] Right?
- You look great
- Thank you!
[Robert] Mm-hmm
- So we're on a a boat?
- [light-hearted music playing]
Ask me no questions
and I'll tell you no lies
[Miriam] I heard Robert
I'm excited to see his reaction
when he comes up here and sees all this
He's going to be so confused!
[Robert] What are you getting me into?
This is not a black tie event
- [Ben] Oh
- [Batsheva] Oh, my God!
[Julia] Guys, the star of the day is here!
- What is this?
- [Batsheva] Look at you!
Hello!
Robert! Can we see a full a full twirl?
- [Ben] Oh, beautiful!
- Incredible!
[Robert] Why are we on a boat?
I've made you a funeral
for your insecurities
[Robert] Oh, God
Julia calls me and says,
"Hey, come meet me at this pier."
"It's a black tie event."
I want you to have the fullest, best life
that you can possibly have
I'm trying to get over the matchmaker,
I'm trying to be friendly,
but I still, like, am not totally over it
I care about you, you can't even imagine
- You're my greatest friend in the world
- I know. I appreciate it
I want to do it,
but I want to do it on my time
- I know, so
- This is so crazy!
[ship horn blaring]
This is so
- This is
- [ship horn continues blaring]
This is
- [laughing]
- [Ben] What?
- Fuck it, let's do it!
- Let's do it!
[all cheering]
[upbeat music playing]
[Julia] Everyone, rise and shine
We are about to begin the ceremony
in honor of this extraordinary young man
I'm going to pass everybody a rose
You're going to say
something about Robert,
put it in the wreath,
and we're going to, then,
throw the wreath out to sea
In the Jewish religion,
before Yom Kippur,
which is the Day of Atonement,
everyone takes bread crumbs
and throws it into the water
It's called tashlikh
That symbolic gesture can help your mind
acknowledge that you can make changes
["Amazing Grace" playing]
Okay, I'd like to begin
So Robert, this rose is to throw away
how you see yourself in the mirror,
and replace it with how I see you
[Ben] L'Chaim
This rose represents
the light that you are
I don't want to throw it away,
I'm gonna give it to you
- I'll take it!
- Everyone else, please follow directions
Of course, Miriam doesn't
follow directions
[Ben laughing]
This red rose symbolizes a web,
a spider web
All the spider webs
that you need to get rid of
[all laughing]
It's time for you to start dating again,
so here we go
- To you!
- [Robert] Toss it overboard, baby
Next, please!
Okay, so Robert, now it is your turn
to stand up and think
of what your insecurities are
and what you want to throw out
Uh, this was indeed very strange
and very weird,
and not at all what I expected
of my Friday afternoon
I would like to throw away
this idea of being afraid, of being
You know? Or feeling shame,
or, like, feeling vulnerable
That's my issue
I'll throw away my wall,
and I hear what you're saying. I know
You know, I need to put myself out there
a bit more, I need to try more
Let's throw all this shit overboard
and drown it in the Hudson River
[Julia] Let's do it
- Okay, here we go!
- [Robert] It's heavy! [grunts]
[all cheering]
[Miriam] And down
- [Michele] Bravo! Well done!
- [Miriam] It happened!
As crazy as this insecurities funeral was,
it made me realize that I need
to stop letting feelings hold me back,
and maybe look into some of the things
that I've been too afraid
to explore about my past
Hi
I'm Robert
- Hi, Robert
- How are you?
- Good
- It's nice to meet you
Um, I'm wanting to potentially explore
the possibility of finding this person,
but I don't have anywhere to start
The only things I know are
that she was living in my hometown
of Wichita Falls, Texas,
she had red hair, um, and
that's about it
It's not a lot to go on
The information is is skimpy
from what you presented,
but it doesn't mean that it can't be done
I don't want to make any contact
That's the most important. Don't want to
make any contact. I just want
No, I would never. I would never
And, uh, I've had cases like this before
and it's not always the
the Hollywood ending
- It can be very emotional
- Yeah
Sometimes they can be receptive
and sometimes not
- [Julia] It's beautiful outside!
- [Shlomo] Very nice
- [Silvio] Amazing!
- I got my first part of my advance today
- Queen! Making bucks! Congratulations
- [Shlomo] Nice!
For the book, yeah. It's very exciting
- That's really exciting. Cha-ching!
- It's happening!
I got a really interesting
Instagram message
I got to show you
She says, "Good afternoon, Julia."
"I've been trying to leave the community."
"Maybe you'd be able to talk to me
to give me some insight."
"I'd love to hear more of your story
and how you became who you are today."
- Very nice
- [Miriam] Wow, that's so nice
What worries me is that you read
all those books about people who left
Half of them go on drugs,
the other half try to commit suicide,
- have psychological issues
- Mm-hmm
And it's not their fault, it's not that
they're doing anything wrong
It's just that they're just not equipped
to live in the outside world
Are you nervous she's gonna harm you?
No, no!
I'm not nervous about her harming me
I'm nervous about me harming her!
I'm feeling very torn as to what to do
You know, I'm not a doctor
I don't want to, on one hand, get involved
with someone
who's probably going through
a tremendously traumatic experience
On the other hand, I want to help
You know,
this is someone who I understand,
that I can connect and relate to,
and I know that I had to do it alone
So if I had had someone helping me,
how much easier
my journey would have been
Why don't you just call?
See where it leads to
- [Silvio] Start listening to her
- [Julia] Let me see
I have her number here
Okay, you guys ready?
- [Shlomo and Miriam] Yeah!
- Here we go!
[line ringing]
[Sara] Hello?
Hi, Sara, it's Julia Haart. How are you?
Oh, hi. Uh, I'm good
Well, I have to tell you,
I was really touched by your message
Can you tell me
a little bit about your journey?
frum?
Because honestly the best way to help you
is to understand you first,
and then I can figure out
how it is that I can help you
I think that my major turn-off really
was going to a high school in Monsey
Like, I would be sitting
chumash class,
and they would be
teaching us all this stuff,
but if I tried to question
anything related to God,
they would just tell me,
"You do it because God says."
And I said,
"It's cool that God said that
- But why? Right
- but why did God say that?"
And I'm kind of stuck where I'm, like,
halfway out, but I'm not out
- 'Cause you're still living there. Yeah
- Don't know where to go from here
And your parents obviously know
that you're not frum anymore
What's How are they reacting to it?
My parents just seem like a lot
They actually sent me to a psychiatrist
They felt like I was crazy
They're like, "People don't just leave
their religion. It's not normal."
Um
So, yeah, that was that was
the beginning of my journey,
and, um, I did not take that very well
So you sound, honestly,
like an extraordinarily impressive person
Like, kudos to you
It took me until I was in my mid-forties
to make the realizations
you did when you were a teenager
Look, I have a kind of crazy idea
Why don't you come and meet me?
I can kind of show you my world,
and just sit down and talk to you,
and see if I can help you
take that next step
- Really?
- Yeah
Um, I mean, that would be amazing
Um, I actually don't drive,
you already know about that
Perfect! I will send
Yes, I do
You're not allowed to drive in your world
I Believe me, it was a world
I'm very familiar with
Um
So I'm gonna send my driver
Are you gonna get in trouble
if I send my car?
Nobody is supposed to be home tomorrow
All right, have a good night, my dear
- Okay, take care. Bye
- Take care, bye-bye
Wow
I mean, she's got massive guts!
She is being really open
about her journey
- That shows That's a big deal!
- That's a big thing. Yeah
[Julia] So that kinda gives me hope
that she has the capability
and the backbone to make a change
Because truthfully, if you think about it,
when I left, I was still religious
- I left 'cause I couldn't take it anymore!
- You couldn't
When I left,
I was in such a level of despair
I was really, you know,
contemplating suicide daily
So it's not easy to help
someone make that move
You really have to be
at the bottom, rock bottom
I think where I can help her
is just give her some direction
You don't know where to go,
you don't know what to do,
and you don't know anyone
in the outside world
So you feel stuck there,
because they're the only people you know
Yeah, again, I I would never want to
push someone, like, to not be religious
She's already not religious
But if she already made that
her own choice,
and she's asking for help to get out
of that space, it's only right to help
Let's do it
Let's take her over the fence
[upbeat music playing]
[line ringing through cell phone]
[automated voice] Your call has
- Hi, baby, I'm so sorry
- Hello!
- How are you?
- I'm sorry
I was rushing
as fast as I could to get here
- To change?
- No!
- [humorous music playing]
- Not to change! To get here
I had a really busy day,
but I had this outfit,
- and summer's almost over
- So you changed?
Babe, you know that putting on an outfit
takes me two seconds
But you but you changed
As long as it's all picked out,
it doesn't make a difference
[waiter] Something to drink?
Yes, can I get the, uh, strawberry frosé,
please? And some ice water
- Ice water
- [Batsheva] Or sparkling?
[Ben] Sparkling water
Thank you so much
At least you got some tequila going on
- This is my second one
- Second tequila?
- Yeah
- How late am I?
I didn't feel like I was that late!
I was rushing the whole time
- Yeah
- Oh, my, my!
[Ben] Wow
Very cool, thank you
So my mom got a DM from this girl
She, like, isn't doesn't keep
any, like, religion at all,
but is still living in Monsey
and still, like, does all the motions
- to kind of go with the flow
- [Ben] Okay
My mom was like,
"I really want to help her."
- "Help her"?
- Like, help her start a new life
I don't know. That, to me,
that seems like a lot of responsibility
I think anything
that she does with her is is risky
just because, like, this girl, yes,
maybe she says she's not
religious anymore,
but you don't really know
Like, is she convincing her to
leave a life
that she is maybe comfortable with?
I'm not trying to dissuade her
from helping someone
'cause if she really wants to do it,
then that's very nice
But, like, at the same time, it's a huge
responsibility to interject yourself
in something that we all know
is extremely personal
We had our own journey, and, like, yes,
I don't think we would be
where we are today without my mom
- Right
- But in the religious aspect,
we came to wherever we are right now
on our own slow journey
We weren't like Miriam,
who, like, left off the bat
- Shlomo, who's undecided. He's still
- Still in the middle
figuring out
Is my mom gonna, like,
try convincing her to
Not believe anything
I'm apprehensive
about my mom really engaging
and getting involved with this girl,
because it's a really big deal
to leave a religion
that you were brought up in,
and you don't know her,
so how can you be really helping her
if you don't know the full situation?
- Do you think there's ulterior motives?
- I don't know. I've never met the girl!
None of us have, that's the whole
situation that's going on
That's what I'm nervous about
Who knows what her motives are?
[Shlomo] Every Friday night,
Shabbos, that starts at sunset
and it goes all the way until an hour
after sunset on Saturday
Under the laws of Shabbos,
Orthodox Jews can't use electricity
So because of this,
I have to pre-cook my food,
set timers for lights I would need,
and if I don't want to take the staircase,
I'd have to get to my home
before sundown so I can take the elevator
The purpose of Shabbos is
really to be focused on family, prayer,
and everything else
is supposed to be forgotten
"Eat, sleep, pray" is basically
the, uh, the premise of the day
- [Miriam] Hey, Mama
- [Julia] Hi, babe
[Miriam] What's up?
Can't decide what I want to wear today
I'm very in a leathery mood
Wear something matchy-matchy!
Well, no. I'm gonna go
either red or blue today
- That could be cute
- That's very cute!
What's going on in your world?
There's this girl who
I posted a photo with Shlomo on Instagram
- Mm-hmm
- and she's my friend from New York,
and she commented,
"Oh, who is that guy? He looks cute."
- I'm like, "It's my brother."
- Oh, okay!
So I should set them up, like, for sure
[Julia] He needs a girl
If he was dating somebody
who was not religious,
who, like,
wanted to do things on Saturday,
I think he just wouldn't want
to disappoint her, and so he'd go out
He always says to me that he knows
that certain things he does is illogical
- He knows it's not logical
- So what do you think?
Do you think he'll, like, ever
actually use his phone on Shabbos?
For me, it was easy to, like,
let go, I guess. A little bit more
Okay, but don't forget, you
You know what?
The speed is the speed is equivalent
to your misery level
- Hm
- For you, it was very easy to be like,
"Okay, I hate all of this
This is making me miserable. I'm done."
For Shlomo, it's much more frightening
because he wasn't as miserable
He still believes that he's going to get
punished if he does something wrong
But he knows it don't make sense
We've had that conversation
Fear is not rational
Fear is irrational. Babe, think about it
I was literally having relationships,
sheitel
- Is there anything logical in that?
- Right, yeah
It's just fear. It doesn't make sense
It's illogical
The only way to explain it
is like it's deprogramming
[Miriam] Mm-hmm
[Julia] My poor son, Shlomo
He's straddling two diametrically
different points of view and ways of life
If he ends up being like Batsheva
where, you know, he's religious,
he keeps Shabbos, he keeps kosher,
I'm fine with that
I have nothing against religion
He's trying to do
what he was taught was right
Like for example, right now, we went
shopping together on Shabbos, right?
But he wouldn't carry the credit card,
and he wouldn't hold the wallet,
but he let me do shopping for him
Is that logical? No
Is it reasonable?
Makes absolutely no sense
Like, if you're shopping on Shabbos,
just shop on Shabbos!
But again, it isn't logic
- What are you wearing? These are cute
- Thanks, Mama
- [Julia] Love them
- [Miriam] Got them on the Int-o
- [Shlomo] Hey
- [Robert] Hello
- [Batsheva] Hey, Rob
- Hey, guys
I might need a little drink, personally
- [Miriam] We know what that means!
- Yeah. Apparently
This is news to me,
but, apparently, Shlomo thinks this
I asked a girl
if she wanted to get drinks,
and supposedly
like, I told my friends, they were like,
"Shlomo, that means
you're asking her to just have sex."
- [Batsheva] Did you know this?
- I don't think that's accurate
Maybe it's a Gen-Z thing
It's not a Gen-Z thing!
My Gen-Z doesn't do that
You're supposed to ask for coffee
or food first, before you get a drink
But dinner's a second date
[Shlomo] She was doubling down
- [Batsheva] She was doubling down
- "I don't want just a drink."
[Shlomo] Oh, yum
[Miriam] This is like
the best granola ever
Everything all right, Rob?
[tense music playing]
Okay
Do you need to get back to the office?
We could sit here and chat
if you need to take a call
Yeah, I just got a
An interesting email,
that I was expecting but not expecting
What? What did it say?
Uh, you guys don't know this, but, um
I am adopted
- So
- Are you for real?
- [Robert] Yeah
- [Miriam] Oh wow
My parents took me on the second day
The day after I was born
[Miriam and Batsheva] Wow
Did you always know you were adopted?
- [Miriam] When did you know?
- [Robert] I always knew
- [Miriam] Your brother's born from Mitizi?
- Mm-hmm
- [Shlomo] And he's younger?
- [Robert] Yeah, 15 months younger
[Batsheva] Wow
She was in her mid-thirties, it wasn't
likely that she was gonna have a child
and she'd been looking for a long time
And that's basically all I know
I have had
the most loving and compassionate
and endearing family you could ever want
I never think of myself as adopted,
it doesn't even cross my mind
It was always something
that was very normalized in my house
I was always my parents' son
I'd gone to the doctor
to just do, like, a routine test thing
[clears throat] There was all this medical
stuff I didn't know anything about
Like, what is my heart gonna do?
Is it gonna explode?
Right
Am I gonna, like, have cancer everywhere?
Is my brain gonna, like, fall apart?
I don't know
I wanted to figure out a little bit more,
so that was an e-mail with
- I guess information on the person
- [Batsheva] Her information?
- Do you know anything about her?
- Nothing
- [Miriam] You don't know where she lives?
- Other than that she must have been
- gorgeous
- [Miriam] Oh. [laughing]
- Have an amazing personality! Brilliant!
- [Robert] Obviously
You know, I've never really started
this search for my birth person before
because it's never something
that was important, but now's the time
I'm 33, I need to figure out
what the next step in my life is
Finding the husband,
having the child, creating a family
So knowing and understanding
my biological history is important
[thoughtful music playing]
- [Julia] Hey!
- [Robert] Hi!
[Batsheva] Hi!
[Robert] Look at this hair!
- [Robert] I love!
- [Julia] What is happening here?
- What is this outfit?
- [Batsheva] I like the outfit
- [Robert] I love it!
- Right?
Let it be known that the people
of the church said, "Amen!"
[Batsheva] Thank you, Rob. He understands
I also like the hair,
it's very au courant. It's nice
- What are you talking about?
- I'm trendy right now
- [Julia] Robert, you're not helping
- You're like a pop princess
I'm like Ina Garten
about to bake a roast chicken
Oh, my God. Yeah
Is there a reason
the collar is up à la, AKA 70s?
It doesn't go down. It doesn't go down
[Julia] Come over here
and I will bring it down
- Come here, baby. I'll help you
- [Robert chuckling] No, no
It's a bit disturbing
- [Julia] What's on your schedule?
- I'm working with Cory
We're developing the, uh, social media
- The curriculum? How's that going?
- [Batsheva] The curriculum
It's going well
Um, you missed a very interesting dinner
- [Batsheva] I did?
- Yes
Do you remember that girl
I read you about the other day?
I called her over dinner
when Shlomo and Miriam
- On speaker?
- [Robert] You called her at dinner?
I called her at dinner
I wanted some moral support
because I wasn't sure
what I was getting myself into
So she's still at that place
where she's still in that world,
yontif,
even though she's not keeping it,
but she doesn't know anyone
who's not a religious Jew
And on that note,
she's coming this afternoon
- [Robert] Surprise!
- What? She's coming to the office?
She's coming to the office
in like 45 minutes
[Robert] Good luck!
- [Sara] Hi, thank you
- Come on, Sara. And there's Julia
- Hi!
- [Sara] Hi! Do you do hugs?
Yes, I do hugs!
- It's so nice to meet you!
- So nice to meet you!
So, how was the ride?
Um, I don't know, it felt like forever
I was really nervous to meet you!
[Julia] Well, hey, you had
the the guts and the courage
to reach out to me on Instagram
That took a lot of, you know, cojones
And I did not come out
and say that I was not religious
until literally two or three years
after I left the community
But I had kids,
so I had to be very careful
[Sara] Right. It goes both ways
'cause my parents
I've been told that I'm now responsible
if my siblings can't get married
or get into camp or get into school
- Yeah, it's scary
- It's a heavy weight to live with
- They've told you that?
- Yeah, and I feel awful
And I have eight siblings,
I don't want that responsibility!
I had that my entire life
I felt a certain kinship to you
because you want to be in this world,
you're still back there
So it was kind of seeing, like,
a younger version of me
You reaching out to me kinda gave me hope
that somebody actually cared,
somebody wanted to see me me be happy
And me actually, like,
I don't know, just be successful!
- That's what I want for you
- A chance at life
You remember learning in class,
"Kol hatchalot kashot," right?
"All beginnings are difficult."
Well, this is no different
It is extremely difficult
also because you don't even know
where to begin or how to begin
So I figured today, I'm going
to kind of show you what it is that I do
We're going to go in
and you're gonna meet the team
- Okay
- You'll meet my kids,
I had them come as well, and
[Sara] I'm super excited for!
[Julia] You know, usually,
people go one in at a time
[Sara] I know! I'm a little scared
I've never done this many times before
- [Julia] Oh, boy
- [Sara] Sorry
Okay, if this is new,
we've got a long ways to go, honey
So this is Elite World Group. Come on in
[indistinct conversations]
Hey, guys!
[all greeting]
- This is Sara, everybody!
- [all] Hello
- [Sara] Nice to meet you guys
- [Julia] This is my office
- My daughter, Miriam. Miriam, Sara
- [Miriam and Sara] Hi!
- It's really great to meet you. Welcome
- I love your outfit
[Julia] Now, I want to see these shoes
So
- We have toys
- [Julia] Okay, I want to play
- Hi!
- [Miriam] Hi
- Hey!
- [Robert] How's it going in here?
Ooh, look at this setup!
- Count Chocula is here!
- [sinister laughter]
[Robert] I don't know someone. Hello
[Julia] Robert, this is Sara!
Hi! Sara. Very nice to meet you
How are you?
[Julia] Sara, Robert is my best friend
in all the world,
and he is basically
my partner in all crimes
Cool
Sara, there's this concept
which I'm completely obsessed with,
which is basically that we can
have shoes that have seeds inside
People could literally
go in their backyard
and bury their shoes,
and flowers will grow
So it's not only biodegradable,
it's, like, a shoe garden, right?
Yeah! What if it was, like, veggies?
You could have, like, a tomato shoe
- You got zucchini and cucumber
- [Julia] Carrots!
- "Have your shoe and eat it too."
- Have your shoe and How dare you?
How dare you with that?
So we built you a virtual showroom
Excellent
Do you wanna show Julia
what that's all about?
[Julia] This is so exciting!
- Are we up and running?
- [Julia] We are
Where do I go?
Hold on, I got this, I got this
- [Miriam chuckles]
- [Julia] It's getting bigger with
I just thought that this
was perfect for Sara to see,
because I think one of the worst things
that, uh, my community
our community did to us
is make us believe
that nothing is possible
And the minute you realize, "Wait!"
"No, these are fake limits. These are
limits that have been put on me!"
"I refuse these limits!"
anything is possible
Honestly, I think one of the
biggest strengths I've had in my career
is because
I don't take anything as a given,
because I heard those words
so many times in our world
"Well, this is how it's done
This is the, you know, accepted wisdom."
Those words
I don't even hear them anymore
So when I, you know, design products
or create new things,
I generally think, "I don't care
about what is. What should be?'"
Right
- [Julia] Oh, hey! Hey, guys
- Hey!
Do you guys want to introduce yourselves
for a minute?
- I'm Troy, I'm a hair stylist
- [Sara] Hi
- D'Andrea, makeup artist
- Hi, I'm Sara
[Julia] So Troy and D'Andrea
are here for you
I thought it would be
really fun for them to come
and give you like a full-on glam makeover
Hair, makeup, clothing,
the whole nine yards
Obviously, of course,
this isn't how you change your life,
because that's more internal
and making really frightening steps
This is just like a fun little treat,
just so you feel like the star of the day
- Whoa. [laughing]
- [Miriam laughing]
- You mean like now?
- [Julia] Who doesn't love a makeover?
Well, yeah!
What do you think? Is that crazy?
- Super, super cool. [giggles]
- [Julia] Let's do it
[upbeat music playing]
This is gonna be so much fun
I'm so excited for you
So I like it! Color, bold,
and we also have some clothes,
just so you get an idea
of different styles,
different textures, different colors, so
'Cause your whole life, you've been told
what to wear, what not to
- Right
- Now, you make the decisions
- [Miriam] Fuck that, you know?
- It's very exciting
That was my first,
like, foray out, was clothing
Mm-hmm. Me too!
Jeans were the first thing I wore
- I did black leather leggings
- I did basketball shorts
[Julia] Yes! Work!
[Sara] I can't figure out jeans,
they're so hard!
I don't understand the numbers and I
Well, now you have people to help you
with jeans that will fit you
When you feel confident about how
you look on the outside,
it helps you feel confident on the inside
And in our community, thinking
about your external appearance is bad
So I kinda want to tell her,
"Hey, honey, wear what you want."
"Dress how you want
It's your body, you get to choose."
Um, so of course, this is more
just, like, fun and adventure for you,
but obviously, you came here
for more than just a makeover
I know you want to make over your life,
and that's a lot more complicated
than blush and foundation
So if you have
any particular questions, or
you know,
things that you're curious about,
or, I mean seriously, anything,
like go for it. Here's your opportunity
Um, I guess, more before, like, specifics,
my first question would probably be,
how do you
kind of transition your feelings
from, um, what we were taught,
that sex has one goal,
and that is to have babies?
'Cause I had sex for the first time
when I was 16
I feel so guilty
[Julia] You have to come
to the place where you say,
"The things I've been taught
are just not true."
They're just not true
If it was supposed to be bad,
it wouldn't feel good
Right
And by the way,
you can have a lot of children,
and never once have an orgasm
The first time I had an orgasm,
I was 36 years old,
and it wasn't with a guy at all,
and certainly not my husband
It was with a vibrator
Have you ever tried a vibrator?
Um, not really. They're too loud,
too many people in my house
Um, and I wouldn't even know
what I was doing
Okay
Um, so I know this may look like a thumb,
but it's actually a vibrator
- [Sara] Mm-hmm
- [Julia] And you just press it right here
- Hey! Guess what I'm doing!
- I don't know, what?
Pushing vibrators. Are you surprised?
- [Batsheva] What?
- [Julia] Ask my daughter
I can't, I have
I have a thing with Cory
No, but this is vibrators!
This is more important!
Have fun!
[Julia] Thank you! So rude
So basically, it's very small
It's not very loud
You allowed to have a TV in your house?
Yeah. Well, I didn't ask permission,
I bought myself one
Okay, so put on the TV, put this under
the covers, no one's gonna hear shit
And speaking about your house
and being too loud,
maybe it's time to get out of your house
Yeah, you have a point
- [Batsheva] Hi, baby
- How are you?
- Here to pick me up? But
- Yup. How was your day?
- [Batsheva] That girl I told you about?
- That messaged? Yeah
So she was getting a complete makeover
- That's cool
- And my Right?
But my mom was handing her a vibrator
[mouthing] What?
Are you serious?
- [Batsheva] Yes
- [Ben] This is the first day she met?
She's like, "Look, Batsheva!
Look what I'm giving her!"
- Wait, she showed it to you?
- [Ben] You saw it also?
- I thought you were just walking by
- [Batsheva] No
- [Ben] It was advertised?
- [Batsheva] I walked in, Ima had it
And she's like
- [Miriam laughing]
- Are you serious?
I mean, listen, it's classic Ima,
but it's still fucking weird
It is weird,
but I think what Ima's plan is,
from what I understood,
she's trying to get her to push herself,
and be like, "There are things out there."
"If you work hard"
You can have a vibrator
You are never gonna change
if you're still stuck in Monsey,
because you're always
gonna be the odd man out
You're always gonna be the person
everyone's looking down on
And, hey, I see you tearing up,
it's okay to cry. Like
I know what that feels like,
it's horrible
And I'm telling you,
the longer you're there,
the longer you're going to internalize it,
because it's like any other lie,
if it's told frequently enough,
you start believing it's true
You're 19 years old. There's no way
you can know what you want to do
I think what you really need to do
is just discover the world
You've just got to jump in
and figure it out as you go along
You know I'm right
- [sighs] I do! I know
- It's scary!
And I'm not saying
it's not gonna be difficult,
and I'm not saying
that you aren't gonna be lonely or scared,
or you won't make stupid mistakes
You will!
But then, you'll learn from them
and you'll become part of this world
If you were coming from Monsey,
and you'd never been
in a big, beautiful office and met a CEO,
what would your next step be,
the next day?
Mine would just be,
"Wow, that's really amazing."
"I really want to be in the workforce
and out in the world."
But I would still feel lost
as to, "How do I get there?"
You look for a job
How does she look for a job
if she's still living in Monsey?
If she has a kosher phone,
how does she look for a job?
She could go to the library,
they have computers there with Internet
She doesn't need consistent help
She can do things herself
She could be an independent woman
Batsheva's saying it would have been
more practical if your mother sat down,
showed her a game plan, as opposed to
the hair and makeup and vibrator
Miriam and Shlomo never had to experience
a big transition in their adult years
When my mom left, Miriam was really young,
and Shlomo was in his early teenage years,
so it was a much easier transition,
as opposed to someone who's leaving
when they're adult
So I think they're a little bit naive
in how they're thinking
- Hey, guys!
- [Batsheva] Just talking about you
[Miriam] Yes
As you should
So what's happening? Like
- [Julia] She got a makeover
- No, I understand the makeover
But, like, what you give her
a makeover and a vibrator?
- Yes, as one should
- And then
- A Rabbit?
- All you need to take over the world
- One of the little travel, pinky ones
- Okay
A finger, not a dick
[laughing]
- Thank God
- [Julia] Why, "Thank God"?
I'm trying to promote self-knowledge,
and knowing how to pleasure yourself
as a woman is part of self-knowledge
That's day-one lesson?
[Julia] I feel like
it's day-yesterday lesson
Um, her makeover's almost over
You want to come
and, like, give her some support?
[Batsheva] Definitely
- Yes
- She looks amazing!
And be supportive, please
- Always!
- Obviously
[Julia] Where is the queen?
I can't wait to see Sara, we're excited!
Drum roll!
[Robert rolling tongue]
[Miriam imitating trumpet fanfare]
[Shlomo] Introducing
[all exclaiming]
[Julia] Oh, my God!
- [Miriam] You look so cute!
- [Batsheva] Strike a pose!
- Yas, queen! Oh, my God!
- [cheering and exclaiming]
[Miriam] Wow!
[Julia] How does it feel?
You know, I came here
in a dress and jacket, no makeup
You came here khsidish,
and you're walking out a sex bomb
- [Robert] You look so good
- [all cheering]
- I look awesome!
- [Julia] You do look awesome
You really do. And getting to choose
what to put on your body,
I know for myself, it was so critical
Like, that first pair of pants,
I felt like a bad-ass bitch
Yeah
And I felt strong,
and I felt like, for the first time
in my life, I had taken control
And that really, really was, like,
a big step in my kind of evolution
Sara, you have a family now here
We can't make the journey with you,
but we can certainly
make the journey less lonely
If you need help finding an apartment,
- Miriam is like the queen of
- I got you
She can help you find a place
and roommates
Help you write a CV
if you want to get a job
Whenever you're ready, no pressure
Just so you know we're here
[sighs] Thank you. Like, really
It it means a lot to me
You were here for me, and
- Thank you
- Thank you
- [all] Aww!
- Thank you, babe. Thank you
But I gotta get home
before anyone gets suspicious
Gotcha
Do you want my driver to take you back?
- Please?
- [Julia] Absolutely
- We can make that happen
- Awesome!
Can I get a drop-off
on the Upper West Side?
- [Julia] If you leave your shirt here
- Ohh!
- [Sara laughing] Ouch!
- Burn!
- Bye!
- [all] Bye!
Bye
[upbeat music playing]
- [Robert] You came at the best time
- [Mitizi] I know
Did you get any shopping done today?
- I did! I got black jeans
- We love black here in New York
Yeah, you like black
- I love black
- Yeah
[Robert] So my mom was gonna come
to my birthday but wasn't able to,
so she's gonna stay
with me for like a week and a half
I think it's the perfect opportunity
to really talk to her about
how I'm feeling, and kind of
the things I want to explore, and
I just hope that she's open to it
and I hope that, uh,
you know, together we can hold hands
through the entire process and
find the information I'm looking for
What else has been going on?
[Robert] Um, I feel like I want
to find my birth person
And I actually reached out
to a private investigator guy
So what did you find out?
He found, um
- He found the person
- Okay
And a bit more information
He found out where she is now
and where she works
And I wanted you to know
that I'm going to reach out
Well, I knew someday
you would ask or find out
- But I figured I'd be dead by then
- Oh, my God
And it wouldn't matter
I guess I'm a little hurt, 'cause I feel
like maybe I failed somewhere
Oh, my God! No,
this is what I was trying to avoid
Like, that that's the opposite
of what I'm trying to do
What's really difficult is that even
though I know this is difficult for her,
it's something that I just can't shake
I feel like I have to keep
looking for these answers
Couldn't you write the questions down,
and get the investigator
to go ask her? [chuckles]
I feel like I owe it to myself to
to just know about myself
And it's it has nothing to do with,
like, thinking about finding a family or
You're my family
- You're my everything
- Mm-hmm
And
I mean, what if you're not happy
when you find out what you're looking for?
I mean
I just want you to stay
as happy as you are,
and be happy
for the life that you had, and
I mean, why do you want to
dig up something
you may not wished you had have done?
I just want you to think about it,
and the consequences,
the good and the bad
Part of me just doesn't want
to regret not doing something
And all I can say to you
is that I love you more than anything
Nothing on Earth can
replace you as my mother
And this is just something
I have to do for myself,
it will impact only me,
and it's not going to be
something that interferes in our life
- I love you
- Love you
Don't change your name!
- Oh, my God. Never!
- Okay
- [Robert] My name is too chic
- [Mitizi laughs]
[upbeat music playing]
Hey, Mir! How's it going?
What's up? Where you at?
Walking home
So, you know, it's almost Shabbos
Wait! Are you coming?
Ima's made kugi
Nah, just gonna call it a night
- Okay
- Love you!
- Love you. Have a good Shab
- Good Shabbos, bye!
I think Miriam wants me to break Shabbos
because she looks at religion
as it's outdated
She doesn't like anything
that holds you back
For me, I love the idea
of, you know, taking a day off the week
to really just focus
on what's important in life
[clears throat]
[singing in Yiddish]
[in English] It's a good feeling
you get sometimes
when you just pray and sing the words
Just lose myself
in the moment with some prayer
Even if I feel like
I decide to not be religious,
I don't think
I'll ever fully give Shabbos up
I still would want
to, you know, celebrate our tradition
[continues singing in Yiddish]
Okay
[Ross] What's up?
- How's it going?
- Living the dream!
Yeah? How's school? Is it cold there yet?
Pretty chilly
- Good old Texas boy in the snow!
- Nope, don't like it at all
Do the dogs like it?
I'm sure they're good company
- Well
- Oh, yeah
I wanted to call you. Just so you know,
I've hired a private investigator
and really thinking about, you know,
reaching out to that birth person
- [tense music playing]
- What?
I don't see these cans of worms
that you and Mom see
[sighs] I can't believe that's what
you're doing, but that's, you know
I think you're an idiot, but I mean,
I just don't think that's the best idea
You're at a place in your life,
in your career,
everything's going very well
The way it got started is
I just don't know any medical history,
and that's not fair for me
I think you could find out medical history
without having to actually meet her
And not to sound rude,
but she might not want you to find her
Over the years, if she wanted to
reach out, she might have said something
At this point, you're running around
poking a hornet's nest
just to do it
My end purpose is to appease
this part of me that wants information
And no, I don't want to go through, like,
an Excel file and learn about it
I mean, what could happen?
She could murder me upon seeing me
That's really the worst-case scenario
I don't think that's likely
So, like, what else could go wrong?
You have to be careful with people
I mean, you don't want to string her out,
things like that
I think it's really sweet
that you're worried about her
- [laughing]
- Thank you thank you for that
I mean, I'm worried about you, too!
I-I've known you for 33 years,
whatever it is
- You know
- 28 years
Twenty? Oh, yeah
You and I were both lucky
in the parent pool
Mom and Dad have done a very good job
raising both of us and providing for us,
and there hasn't been anything
you and I haven't been able to do
if we wanted to do,
something they haven't supported
Does some part of you
think, like, I'm betraying the family?
I don't
I I just, I don't know
We've got the best parents in the world
I-I think sometimes Mom thinks,
"What are you looking for her for
because here I am."
Well, that's my biggest fear
is that, ultimately, Mom takes it
as if I was unhappy for some reason,
and that's not the case!
I don't know how to explain it
because it's just
this weird unknown thing
I say I want to do it,
you guys say it's a bad idea
It's just a conversation!
To you, it might just be a conversation
To Mom, it might be
You have to look
at, to me, the whole spectrum of it
We're looking at every worst scenario
Can't we look at how
it could be nice for both people?
You're right. If things go good,
that's all great and peachy
But there's, you know, five, six, seven,
eight, ten scenarios that can go bad
Those are gonna weigh heavier
into the future
than if everything goes good
So what's gonna happen?
If I decide to go through with it,
y'all are just gonna be mad at me?
I just I I don't agree with that
If this ends up being a problem,
you're the one who started it
- I don't think that's very fair
- You're the one reaching out to her
You have to think about Mom too
I got to go, I got shit to do
- Ross, come on
- I'll talk to you later. Bye
It's extremely important
that I'm not hurting
my mom's feelings,
or my brother's feelings,
or my dad's feelings,
because at the end of the day,
they are everything
that's important to me
[sighs]
And
I realize I can't do it
[closing theme playing]