Nothing to See Here (2023) s01e05 Episode Script

1
Again.
Okay, Alexis.
That's all for today.
He's showing a lot of progress, right?
In my 40 years as a teacher,
I've never seen a kid
hate the piano so much.
You can't force him.
If he doesn't like it, he doesn't like it.
See you next week.
Don't listen to her, Alexis.
You were born to be a pianist.
I don't want to be a pianist.
Why not?
Many blind people
are pianists and do really well.
That's what I mean.
Why can't I be what I wanna be?
-What would you like to be, Alexis?
-An actor or a photographer.
A photographer.
Or a motorcyclist.
Can I be a motorcyclist, Mom?
You can be whatever you want to be.
You don't understand anything.
He could be the next Beethoven!
Beethoven was deaf, not blind.
Exactly my point!
NOTHING TO SEE HERE
LA RIVIERA MOTEL
Don't you think we can be more than this?
More than what?
More than
worrying about Alexis all the time.
Yuyo,
whatever happens, happens.
You can't wait around for it to happen.
I'm waiting around for it not to happen.
You can't tie yourself down like this
is what I'm trying to say.
It's not him who needs to learn
to live without us.
It's us who need to learn
to live without him.
When was the last time
we did something together
without the world revolving around Alexis?
Let's seize the day.
Let's do some silly tourist thing.
Then, we'll go visit Alexis,
say goodbye,
and go back to Querétaro.
We got you now, asshole!
-Let's go!
-Get in.
Thought I wouldn't find you, fucking Lalo?
-Go.
-Damn it, Charly!
You gotta watch your crutches.
They've been stolen twice.
Dude, don't you need one of those
special plates to park here?
Look at us.
Do you think we need
to prove we're disabled?
Obviously not.
Don't worry, nothing's gonna happen.
Hand me one.
-Take it.
-There you go.
-Your mop.
-Thanks.
Carrying all this cash
is making me nervous.
I don't know why you withdrew
all your savings from the bank.
Whose card was emptied last night?
Some guy who stuffed a candyflip up--
Okay.
I get it.
That's enough.
Here.
-Do you see your crutches?
-No, bro.
I see every crutch that's ever been made
since the first cripple set foot on earth.
If you had eyes, you'd lose a leg
just to get on one of these beauties.
Hey, guys!
How can I help you?
I'm looking for some crutches.
Mine were stolen last night.
That's the only kind we sell here, man.
Stolen?
They're the best.
For every pair you get,
someone comes to replace the stolen ones.
You get it.
Those, the ones that aren't crooked.
How much?
I guess you'll have to prove
you're disabled after all.
Sorry.
Beat it, asshole!
Take your shit!
You have one day, Lalo. One day!
Let's go.
Are you telling me we're not disabled?
That's what I said.
A blind man and a cripple?
Bureaucratically.
You're not disabled bureaucratically.
And what happens
if we apply for disabled plates?
Right now?
It's easier to get diplomatic plates
than disabled plates.
Applying for them is a huge ordeal.
Pay your ticket.
Take your cavemobile,
and then apply for plates
so you don't get screwed next time.
Dude, we can't afford the ticket.
We need the money for the contest.
He might not even let you participate.
He'll let me participate!
And what about my car?
It'll have to stay here, sorry.
Seriously?
Who was the idiot
who parked in a handicapped spot?
The disabled idiot,
who, by the way, had another
disabled idiot in the passenger seat.
You don't understand that
if you're not bureaucratically disabled,
you can't use handicapped parking.
Sorry for spending my savings
on a car without disability plates
to come chasing your majesty's dreams.
Right, all you want is to get
that hunk of junk out of the impound.
-Pay the ticket!
-Alexis!
-Too late! I don't want your money!
-Calm down!
But I d-do want
your money!
What the fuck are you doing, Lalo?
-N-no, no--
-"N-no, no."
It's not you?
You thought we wouldn't recognize you
with a mask? Besides, your gun is broken.
Oh shit, the gun works!
-Shut up!
-I think he's serious, dude.
I-I d-don't wanna do this,
b-but… I need the m-money.
Okay, Alexis.
Give him the money.
I-I'm sorry, friends.
D-don't look at me.
-A serenade or something.
-Ex-excuse me!
What's with him?
-Yuyo, are you okay?
-Yes.
Th-this is yours.
What's with him?
Oh, no! Is that Alexis?
What's going on?
Lalo just mugged us.
He stole the contest fee.
What?
Where's that motherfucker?
You guys hooked up?
-What?
-Who?
No, look.
Who was that beefy guy
who kicked Alexis's ass?
My ex-boyfriend.
Shit, bro, just look what he did to you.
Can we discuss what just happened?
We're taking him back now.
No, he can't know we're following him.
We gotta think things through, Yuyo.
-I'm going to my room.
-Go to hell.
Yeah, chill.
Are you okay?
-Yes.
-Are you sure?
You convinced me to neglect him for a day,
and look what happened.
What happened is he started
being an adult.
Being an adult?!
Did you see who he's with?!
Charly looks decent next to them!
We're staying to watch him,
and that's final!
If you're not gonna do
anything for my son, I am.
Couldn't he mug someone else
to pay his mother's gambling debt?
Without my help, he's only mugging crip…
-People like you.
-Us, right.
And we made a promise.
What an effective program, Maya.
Don't tell me.
My heart is in pain. It's torn to pieces.
Fucking Lalo, if he'd only told us,
we would've found a way to help him.
-The good news is his debt is paid.
-Not to us.
I still don't understand
how you two hooked up.
You're so fucking nosy, Charly!
If you miss the gossip, you explode!
One thing led to another, okay?
It was the adrenaline.
It was the moment. It was
a mistake that will never
happen again, got it?
Okay.
Fine.
Yes.
-Cut it out.
-Hey!
Don't you drive a bug?
Why are we on the subway?
It's not mine.
It's Killer's. I had to return it.
Not only do we have to convince that guy
to let you into the contest,
but without cash,
we'll have to convince him
to let you participate for free.
Yeah, that's why
we can't see him at The Pearl.
We need to find him
in a place where he feels vulnerable.
I know where this guy will be vulnerable.
-Really?
-Yeah.
-You stole our idea.
-What idea?
For the contest.
No idea what you're talking about.
We want you to let Alexis participate.
I'm sorry, you can't. No blind people.
Dude, isn't that discrimination?
It's not discrimination.
It's safety. He could fall off the stage.
Unless, of course,
his blindness was temporary.
Like, if he got pepper sprayed.
You're still pissed?
-Can you give us a minute, baby?
-Yeah, sure.
Maybe two.
I thought we were friends.
Okay, Chocho.
Fine, I lied to you.
But I admit I was wrong.
Can you admit you stole our idea?
I was inspired by it.
Good, and maybe,
just maybe
to thank him for inspiring you
with his idea,
you'll consider letting him participate.
-I could consider it.
-Good.
There is
a small detail.
We're short on cash.
We wanted to know if maybe--
I'd let you in for free?
-That's it.
-Exactly, good!
You read my mind.
Now read mine.
Do you know the answer?
You want equal treatment?
Pay the 2,000-peso entry fee
and 2,000 for the broken bottles.
Hey, let's not be so hasty.
We can negotiate and come to an agreement.
I'll work as a barman.
No.
Not as a barman.
But I have an idea.
What is this?
Find out for yourself.
No fucking way!
I haven't proposed anything yet.
I'm not playing a fucking piano.
You'd only play
for the comedians' entry and exit.
-No.
-The contest is Fridays and Saturdays.
Three weekends, it'll be six days of work.
That will pay for what you broke,
plus your entry fee.
You can keep the tips.
When I think about it,
it's not a bad deal.
He's not asking you to play the fool.
I am. The deal requires both of you.
And what will I do?
Security guard?
It's a great joke for the customers.
Is that your involuntary laugh?
No, it's a good joke.
And he'll let you perform the last night?
Come to think of it, Alexis,
you'd have a great advantage.
You listen to the other comedians,
analyze their jokes, study the audience.
We're not doing it.
Maya has a good point.
If you win the contest,
you'll recover the Datsun.
Jimmy has a point.
Let's see, that leaves one last thing.
You'll keep the tips as a bonus.
And you?
Welcome to The Pearl. Buy some candy?
No, thanks.
Just a routine check.
-Turn around, man.
-This guy's a joke.
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
Welcome to the first stand-up contest
at The Pearl!
Remember, you will be the ones to decide
who'll win the 25,000-peso prize!
All right!
Without further ado, let's introduce
the first contestant.
Give a big round of applause for
Tomás "The Walrus" Rodríguez.
Let's hear that piano. Hit it, Stevie!
THE PEARL
I can't let you in, sir.
I can't. I said no.
Where do they think they're going?
You can't go in. No, sir.
STAND-UP COMEDY CONTES
$25,000-PESO PRIZE!
Lalo!
Lalo!
Wait, asshole!
What's up, asshole?
Sorry.
And he tells me, "Your grandma."
What's up?
Tomorrow's your last day. How do you feel?
Fantastic.
Hang on.
It's almost your turn on stage.
Are you really that good?
I don't know.
You must believe you stand a chance.
Otherwise, you wouldn't be doing all this.
-That's not what it's about.
-What's it about?
You wouldn't understand, Chocho.
By the way,
they say the next comedian…
How should I put it?
He improvises with his surroundings.
That makes you an easy target.
But don't worry, I told him
not to tell jokes about blind people.
I couldn't care less.
All right!
We're kicking off the night with an old
friend of the house.
A round of applause
for Sandro "The Swift."
Hit it, Stevie!
Thanks. Good evening.
It's kinda hot, no?
Okay, first of all,
my friend Mr. Chocho asked me
not to tell jokes about the blind tonight.
I'll be respectful and not make it awkward
for our friend the pianist.
Because he's already let us know
he doesn't see why it's funny.
Okay, for starters. Let's see.
A couple of blind guys walk into a bar.
What does one say to the other?
Why was the blind guy in the desert?
That does it!
-Wait!
-Go fuck yourself.
Oh, come on, don't go.
Hey man, let me ask you a question.
Why do your eyes look like balls?
I was assembled the other way round.
-The other way round?
-Yes.
You wanna see
where they put my eyes, asshole?
Okay, we get it.
-We get the joke.
-Let me go!
We get the joke.
Assholes!
Keep your spirits up, okay?
A free round on Sandro's tab. All right!
That's right, yeah!
All right, laugh it up.
What?
Where are you going?
-What happened?
-We had a deal!
If you go now, you can't perform tomorrow.
You and your contest
can go to hell, asshole!
You're finished!
Wait, Chocho.
Don't say anything.
I don't have time for sermons.
I don't wanna hear it.
You don't wanna hear that
they're letting you perform tomorrow?
-What?
-Yeah, I fixed your mess.
And you won't have to play the piano.
-For real?
-Yeah.
Who's the fucking best friend
you ever had?
Hell yeah!
How did you do it?
Well, I had to make a small exchange.
Exchange?
They're all paid,
all the parking tickets.
Are you having a stroke?
I had to pretend I was disabled
for them to release the car.
All right, let's see.
I paid 8,000 pesos in tickets.
Plus 2,000 pesos for the entry fee.
Plus 2,000 pesos for the broken bottles.
What about our work?
Breach of contract, bro.
You said you'd work six nights,
you worked five.
Should I go on?
-Okay.
-Let's see.
That adds up to?
-Twelve.
-Twelve-thousand pesos.
If I value the car at 20,000,
I owe you 8,000 pesos.
Twenty? We agreed on 25,000.
It's got a lot of dents.
I hadn't seen it.
Okay, now.
Seven thousand, eight thousand.
There you go. It's been a pleasure
doing business with you.
MEXICO CITY
PRIVATE TRANSPOR
Hold on.
I can't give you a ride.
I'm picking up friends.
See you
at The Pearl.
THE PEARL
EXCLUSIVE - THE PEARL
Okay now, what's your stage name?
Alexis "Little Egg Eyes."
-Okay.
-Cool, dawg.
-What's your dad doing here?
-My dad?
Hi, guys.
Why's Civil Protection with him?
Carmen, take Alexis off the list.
-No!
-What? Why?!
-No!
-Hold on!
No. Why?
I've been investigating this place.
And it breaks all kinds of codes, right?
You're in danger, son. I came to save you.
Why don't you understand
I don't need saving?
Well, after what I've seen,
I don't agree with you.
You've been spying on me?
No.
I wanted to do this
with as little help as possible!
Alexis.
Where's he going?
I want nothing to do with this.
-Catch!
-Hey.
Your car's parked outside.
It's your car.
I'm borrowing it. We're gonna fix this.
Jimmy, write Alexis's name
back on the board.
I can't write too good.
I'll write it.
Alexis, wait.
Wait up!
I failed.
You didn't even let me try.
I just wanted you
to have a little fucking faith in me.
For what, son?
To be a comedian?
-Why do you want to tell jokes?
-Because I'm sick of this!
Since I was a kid,
you've been telling me what I can't do.
Someone's always telling me
what I can and can't do.
I'm not the problem. You're the problem.
You can go straight to hell!
Watch out!
Are you all right?
-Mom?
-Are you all right?
You're spying on me too?
Are you all right, son?!
What's wrong with you?!
Let me go!
What are you doing? I said no!
Yuyo, what are you doing?
You can't take him.
-We're going to Querétaro!
-Yuyo, stop the car! You can't do this!
-I don't care! We're leaving now!
-You're crazy!
-Let me out now!
-No!
-Let me out! I said let me out!
-No!
No, Alexis!
Subtitle translation by: Avalos Fernanda.