Ouran High School Host Club (2006) s01e05 Episode Script

Now that I notice it, you're always there next to me, but do I actually hate you? Love you? Or am I delusional? When I take a look at my feelings clearly, whether I'm a lady or a host, it doesn't matter to me.
People fall in love for all sorts of different reasons, but I want to see you now, to give your tender self cherry-blossom kisses, and if your heart beats faster, let's let our love bloom.
Right now is more vital than the future.
The springtime of love's beauty is the aesthetic of a damsel in bloom.
Do you remember when we first started playing this game? Let's go make a snowman together.
Which one are you talking to? Both of you, of course.
There's nobody named "Both of you" here.
I'm talking to you, Hikaru-chan and Kaoru-chan.
Okay then, which one of us is Hikaru, and which one is Kaoru? Can you tell? Let's play the "Which one is Hikaru-kun?" game! "The Host Club is now open for business" Now then, can you tell which one of us is Hikaru? Oh, this is hard.
They look too much alike.
There's never been a girl who could really tell us apart before.
What a ridiculous game.
Huh? Something you don't like about it? It's not just that.
I can't quite figure out why you two are so popular.
That's telling us.
Apparently, Haruhi doesn't understand the merits of having twins in the Host Club.
Listen here.
Just having a couple of good-looking homosexuals earns plenty of high points.
And making a show of teetering between that and friendship is also desirable.
But in our case, being twins, we get to use this most forbidden of taboos as a weapon.
On top of that, there's the scenario of having two people, who have such deep ties to each other, loving you at the same time.
It's the ultimate young woman's romance, right? Er I I can't bear any more! Hikaru! Kaoru! I let you have control of the club's homepage on the condition that you would take it seriously! And we are taking it seriously.
We were up until dawn last night working on it.
And this is the screen that you made?! Haru-chan, you look great! When?! When did you take nude photos of Haruhi?! "Yes, that's the pose.
That's a nice expression.
Once we're done here, we'll let you have all the fancy tuna you want "that you wantthat you want" Is that what you did?! Is that what you did?! You're intensely delusional.
It's a composite photo, of course.
Composite? We did a good job, didn't we? Magnificent skill, if I do say so myself.
You idiots! What a wasted use of your skills! Have some shame! But if you are going to do it, composite her with this idol photo collection.
That would be silly, sir.
It would be quicker to ask her directly to wear that stuff.
Y-Yeah, I could ask her.
What do you think about this? Why do you have that? Haruhi-kun looks fantastic! Still, like Tamaki-sama says, I'd sure like to see Haruhi-kun dressed in women's clothes.
Haruhi-kun is so cute, I'm sure they would look good on him.
Would you stop compositing pictures of me without my permission? Just what do you take other people to be? Isn't that obvious? Toys.
"The Twins Fight!" to be open for business" So you see, in order to enjoy an otherwise boring life you need to have some stimulating toys.
I am not a toy! Toys Toys toys If you like toys, then by all means, come to my club, the Black Magic Club.
We've opened a marketplace of the world's black magic curios.
We're also always holding mass.
If you come now, I'll make sure you get this handsome curse doll, Belzenef, as my present.
Why is he talking through a crack in the door? For that matter, has there always been a door there? Nekozawa-senpai doesn't like brightly-lit places.
You must not have anything to do with that man.
If you do, you will definitely become cursed.
Do you have any basis for that claim? Yes.
It was during the tests at the end of last year Ah, it's terrifying just talking about it.
Tamaki-kun, good morning.
Good morning.
That was the day that I accidentally stepped on that cursed doll, Belzenef The test I took immediately afterward had been enumerated in incomprehensible letters, as though it had been cursed! Warily, I looked at those around me, but I knew none of them! I had shifted into an alternate dimension! How scary! Did that really happen? That's just because you were so shaken up, you went and took the test for the Greek class.
No! It was a curse! What's more, three days later, in the morning, for some reason, my legs had become as heavy as lead! That's because the day before, you had that marathon, right? The power of the curse doll, Belzenef, is real.
If you engrave the name of a person that you hate into this doll's back, they are certain to meet with misfortune.
This guy really is dark, in more ways than one.
He says he hates bright lights.
I wonder how he'll like this.
You murderers! Hikaru, Kaoru, how could you?! You don't know the true terror of black magic! Ah, I'm bored.
Isn't there anything fun we can do? My dignity as president is being ignored Say, Haruhi, we have a favor to ask.
What is it? The next day off we get can we come over to your place? Why would you? Because we're awfully interested in it.
No way.
None at all? No way.
You'll just make fun of me.
--No matter how much we ask? --No way.
I've also long been thinking that I should pay my respects to Haruhi's family.
No way in hell.
Then, let's do it this way.
If you miss in the "Which one is Hikaru-kun game," then as a penalty, we get to come over to your house.
Okay, which one of us is Hikaru-kun? You're Kaoru, and you're Hikaru.
Bzzzt! You got it wrong! No I didn't.
You do look very similar, but you are different.
Say, Haruhi-kun, once they cover whether they part their hair on the left or the right, the difference between Hikaru-kun and Kaoru-kun becomes completely indistinguishable.
How can you tell them apart? Uh, well, let's see If I had to say Hikaru's speech and actions are ten percent more ornery than Kaoru's.
I'm sorry, Hikaru! Well, I just don't mask anything, and always express myself honestly, so Kaoru is the one who is more spiteful.
Don't go spinning this.
Hikaru, I'm the one who's always going along, playing your selfish games, right? I may be the one to suggest them, but you're the one who gets into them, Kaoru.
If you don't like them, then just stop.
What are you, stupid? You're too stupid to see it for yourself, Hikaru.
Like how, even as you were calling her a toy, you were so quick to make some sort of pass at her.
Hikaru, you really are in love with Haruhi, aren't you? Huh?! What?! H-Hey, you've got it all wrong! You really are an idiot, Kaoru! Yeah! There are some things you can and can't say in this world! For one thing, how is it that I would fall for that little tanuki?[Tanuki: a shape-shifting raccoon dog.]
What do you mean by calling Haruhi a little tanuki?! Fantastic.
This is fantastic.
A beautiful, yet poignant four-sided relationship around Haruhi-kun.
What's more, two of the figures are twins, bogged down by this development! Renge could eat three bowls of rice over this! You stay out of this, otaku.
How mean! What a mean thing to say to your manager! Renge-kun, I thought you liked Haruhi, too.
That's another matter.
Everyone knows that there's always more room for homosexual relationships these days.
For that matter, I thought you'd gone home to France.
Well, it's too soon to start host clubs in France, and it wouldn't go over.
Enough already! You're always getting into my bed! You're such a pest! That's because you seem so lonely, Hikaru.
I had no choice but to sleep next to you, you idiot! Who are you calling an idiot?! You're doing worse in a number of classes! Look who's talking! Hikaru, maybe you should study linguistics more! You grind your teeth too loud! Who is it that tosses in their sleep and falls out of bed?! --Sex pixie! --Sicko! Your mama wears too much makeup! We're through! Haruhi! Good morning.
Hikaru? What's up with your hair? Why is it pink? It looks good on me.
Isn't it cute? Starting today, the pink one is me.
I couldn't bear being mistaken for Kaoru forever.
Good morning, Haruhi.
Kaoru, you went with blue.
Last night, I had the rare chance to gracefully sleep by myself, but I had a bad dream.
You see, my hair was dyed pink of the most garish shade, in this dream I was having.
The A lunch.
On second thought, the B pasta and the D salad! I mean, the F cappellini with the barbarie duck--no, set that aside, and make it a foie gras poele, in perigueux sauce! Stop copying me! I just told you not to copy me, didn't I?! Amazing.
They're fighting in harmony.
I thought it was getting noisy in here.
Are you two still fighting? You're embarrassing the Host Club.
It's the Host Club.
Oh my, the Host Club.
The boys from the Host Club are all together.
Okay, break! You're both to blame for this fight.
Hika-chan and Kao-chan, go halfsies on this cake, and make up! Okay? Oh, but I want to eat some, too, so I guess we have to go thirdsies.
We can't split the strawberry, so what do we do? Maybe I should just take it.
After all, I love strawberries, so that's okay, right? Oh, but then, Hika-chan and Kao-chan, do you like strawberries, too? You're just making the situation worse, so stop.
Oh, Haruhi! Fancy running into you in the refectory! I was concerned about those two, and followed them here without thinking.
I just have my box lunch, so I wanted to eat it in the classroom.
A box lunch? Dear, here's your box lunch.
Oh, but the heart-shaped sprinkles might be a bit embarrassing.
Even if your box lunch did have an embarrassing heart in it, I would not hesitate to eat it! I don't know what you're talking about, but I do know that your delusions are always incoherent.
Haruhi, here's a spot.
Oh, okay.
What do you have in your box lunch? Yesterday's simmered leftovers, some rolled omelet, and such.
Switch with me.
I ordered something different from Kaoru, and ended up with all stuff that I hate.
Sure, okay This is awfully lavish.
I haven't ever really eaten this sort of thing Delicious, isn't it? Delicious, isn't it, Haruhi? Good.
I'd like to let you eat that every day.
Well done, Hikaru.
As a reward, you can have my A lunch, --so let me have the box lunch.
--No.
Oh, don't say that.
I'm not about to.
Haruhi, is that any good? You want some of mine, too? Here.
"Aah" Butt out.
Go away.
I think I'll eat in the classroom after all.
If this situation continues, we're going to have to stop offering the brotherly love package.
Our designee rate is definitely down.
Oh, Haruhi, this isn't something that you should feel responsible for.
Even though your thoughtless comment was the cause of this fight.
"Don't worry about cleaningup the dining hall, either.
" He's clearly blaming me.
Hika-chan and Kao-chan fighting with each other It's never happened before, huh? Is that right? I've known them since pre-school.
We weren't in the same year, so I never talked to them, but it seemed like they always played together.
You're right.
I've only known them since middle school, but they really stood aloof.
It seemed like except for themselves, they kept everyone at a distance.
Their personalities were several times more warped than they are now.
Thinking about it that way, maybe this fighting is a turn for the better.
It means that their world is starting to get a little larger, doesn't it? Maybe it's best to leave them alone, under the circumstances.
Maybe it is a turn for the better.
But then, if this is their first fight, then maybe they need someone to tell them when to call it quits that much more.
They probably don't know how to make up with each other, either.
"No business today" After going this long, haven't you gotten over it yet? You brothers are putting us out.
We're putting you out?! We're putting you out, you say?! You've got to be kidding! I'm the one who's put out! I'm the one who's got the same face as Kaoru.
I'm sick and tired of being mistaken for you! The truth is, I hate your guts! You took the words right out of my mouth.
Look at this! I bought this from Nekozawa-senpai-- Belzenef, the curse doll! "Yikes" I'm writing your name on this thing's back, Hikaru.
From here on, you're going to meet with lots of misfortune and sorrow! Enough already! You don't go bringing something like this into a simple quarrel! You both are to blame for this fight, but you're even more to blame for bothering everyone around you with it! Now say you're sorry! If you don't make up right now, then I'll never let you come over, as long as I live! Then, if we do make up, Haruhi, we can come over to your house, right? I'm sorry, Kaoru.
Even though I was just following our script, I'm not fit to be your brother, to say such awful things to you.
Not at all.
I'm the one who was terribly worried about what I would do if I hurt you, Hikaru.
Kaoru, I'll never let you go! Hikaru! Oh, you were faking the fight?! Well, we were bored.
T-They got me Twins with too much free time are the devil.
"The Host Club is now open for business" Thank goodness.
Okay, let's play the "Which one is Hikaru-kun?" game! Um, the one with the pink hair is Hikaru-kun.
We have a winner! You may have made up, but your hair will still stay that way for a while, huh? Still, I'm glad it's easier to tell now.
No it isn't.
Today, the pink one is Kaoru, and the blue one is Hikaru.
You've switched your colors, huh? Have you noticed, Hikaru? Up until now, there were only two worlds: "us" and "everyone else.
" But for the first time, a genuine gatecrasher has appeared.
I can run for 5000 miles, until I'm out of breath.
the body working at full strength.
Having come this far, is it enough? How far until it's okay? The trees that imbue the streets of this town keep repeatedly changing their appearance.
In completely washed-out pallor, and unchanging frailty, I want to believe in myself, as I am here and now.
With my right hand, and my left hand, held over my head, I tear through the darkness and go! There is no deceit! I've made my resolve! From the moment I make my start, the world expands.
Rejoice, Haruhi! You're going to have seniority over someone now.
Someone new wants to join the club.
But he's still in elementary school.
I'm afraid to imagine what that kid will be like when he grows up.
Next time, "The Grade School Host is the Naughty Type! " Ouran High School Host Club will be waiting for you, next week!