Out There (2013) s01e05 Episode Script
Frosty King
"Frosty King" sync & corrections by Vegemite [ firecracker pops .]
Chad: Never understood my dad's gardening thing.
When you get older, you must not know what fun is anymore.
Why else would you pick a hobby that's so much work? Okay, Chad, wrap it up and then we'll go to the dump.
[ sighs .]
[ both screaming .]
Whoa, whoa, whoa! I almost hit you, man.
What were you doing in there? Don't rake leaves, Chad.
Because eventually, a new pile will accumulate.
You know what I always say: Let the wind do the work for you.
I wish I could.
My dad said I have to rake [ girls giggling .]
Whoo.
Can you believe that? Wayne: Chad, let's get a move on.
Later, man.
Hey, Wayne, did I tell you about my boy Monty? Another promotion.
He's in charge of the whole operation down there now.
Wow, that's great.
[ quietly .]
: Braggart son of a bitch.
Tell him we said hi.
Hey, Dad, do you think I could try driving? [ groans .]
I don't know, Chad.
Seems unwise.
But I've watched you, and I I know how.
Come on, I'm 15.
Please? All right, I suppose you can pull out of the driveway.
I'll guide you.
[ engine starts .]
Now, the first thing to remember is [ Wayne yells, tires squeal .]
Aah! My fence! And my tomatoes! [ door slams .]
Mm-mm-mm.
What kind of boy are you raising there, Stevens? [ sighs .]
Chad: Nobody ever talked about the taste of shame.
It was metallic.
[ door opens .]
[ sighs .]
You really did a number on Misko's fence, Chad.
And did you have to hit the man's tomato plants? He loves those damn things.
- I'm so sorry, Dad.
- Me too, Chad.
'Cause you're going to have to pay for everything.
- What?! No way! - You're not a kid anymore.
You're 15, right? You hit a fence, you got to pay for it.
It's time to get a job immediately.
[ sighs .]
Car dealership? Calamitous.
Dentist office? Dreary.
Grocery store? What do you want to be, a bag boy, Chad? Checkout boy? Produce boy? Don't accept any fate with "boy" in the title.
Oh, you are not helping.
- Oh, yes, I am.
- H-hey! [ bright, hopeful melody plays .]
[ man in car whoops, chuckles .]
[ distant giggling .]
Ah, it's that guy.
Am I right? Oh, that's the truth.
Chad: Man, that guy's got it figured out.
"Help wanted.
" Serving ice cream could be cool, right? Cool to be a working stiff? Pfft! Come on, that guy works here.
Free ice cream.
It's a dream job.
It's a nightmare.
Punching clocks.
Smoke breaks.
Human resources.
If you know what's good for you, Chad, turn around and walk away.
Mmm, that's mmm.
So, Chad, why do you want to work at the Frosty King? Well, I think ice cream is wonderful.
I eat a little after dinner every night.
It's soothing.
And besides, I owe someone a sum of money.
Mm Chad, you remind me of myself as a young man.
Mm-hmm.
Little rough around the edges, but underneath, creamy through and through.
You're hired.
Thank you, sir.
I'll do you proud.
Shoo, derelict! [ grunts .]
Damn teenaged bums.
Mmm, that's mmm.
[ slurps .]
More sprinkles, sir? Absolutely.
Extra scoop, ma'am? Coming right up.
[ bell dings .]
[ alarm sounds .]
Sir, we have a full-on Nazi chocolate malt ball approaching at 12:00.
- Seems to be covered in nuts.
- Fire the torpedoes.
Bull's-eye! A direct hit.
Whoo! [ whooping and cheering .]
Chris: Holy Mary, Mother of God.
In some ways, this hurts me more than it does you.
Seeing you like this.
A tool.
A slave.
A plodder! Chris, I'm 15, and it's time to buckle down and grow up.
Oh, the oldest man in the world speaks.
What are you? Dad junior? Look, sure I'm entering the work force to fix the fence.
But beyond that, I want to buy a car and drive around.
Hopefully, with girls.
I got to go, man.
Can't be late on my first day.
Come on, Chad.
Must I save you from yourself? Must I? My liege.
Chad.
Welcome, son.
Benjamin.
[ girls giggle .]
You have lost weight.
Benjamin.
Don't make me walk all the way over there.
Yes, sir, Mr.
Shooty.
Coming right up.
Chad Stevens, this is Benjamin Brent.
My right arm.
My golden boy.
- Listen to him.
- I sure will, Mr.
Shooty.
Very good, my boy.
[ chuckles .]
So, another rooster in the hen house, huh? Excuse me? [ Benjamin chuckles .]
I'm the only one who can do that.
Okay, this here is ice cream command central.
Scoops, dipping station, toppings.
Everything at arm's reach.
So, tell me about Chad.
Oh.
Well, I'm, you know, I'm really excited to get I've worked here two years.
I drive a 280Z.
I make almost 10,000 a year.
No big deal.
- Whoa.
- You bet wow.
I run the show around here, okay? I've got these girls eating from the back of my hand, [ girls chat and giggle .]
and it didn't happen overnight.
It took work.
I see a guy like you come in here, I [ laughing .]
I know what you're thinking.
What am I thinking? [ Benjamin chuckles .]
This here's the centerpiece of the whole operation the Creamamatic.
Now, pay attention.
Mmm.
[ giggles .]
Hey, babe.
You got to weigh every cone.
Nothing over eight ounces.
You won't see me using that scale, though.
[ whispers .]
: 'Cause I'm that good.
Here, weigh it.
Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom! [ blowing air .]
Whoo! [ girls giggle .]
Benjamin! - Benjamin! - Girls: Benjamin! [ girls continue chanting.]
Benjamin join in, Chad.
- It's what we do.
- Uh, Benjamin.
Both: Benjamin, Benjamin.
I'm the king around here, Chad.
Never forget that.
Both: Benjamin! Benjamin! I will rescue you, my friend.
Oh, you look so handsome.
- Just like a man.
- Just like a little soldier.
[ Benjamin and girls giggle .]
Mom, please.
Classic.
[ chuckles .]
Come on, Wayne.
Let's let our Mr.
Worker Pants get back to work.
Jesus Christ! Ladies, let's let Mr.
Worker Pants get back to work.
[ Benjamin and girls laugh .]
Wow.
They really got you running the maze, don't they? So, how about treating this king with a chocolate sundae? - Put it on my tab, Chaddy boy.
- Hey, I have to pay for it, then.
To a lazy day! To us daydreamers! Chris, stop bugging the customers.
Uh, is there a problem here, boys? Yeah, there's a problem, all right: Me.
This is for your own good, Chad.
Chris: This young man is not letting me relax.
I'm just a peaceful Beatnik eating ice cream, and this dippy guy starts calling me names like "pissant" and "crackerwilly.
" Fire him immediately! [ laughs .]
Don't listen to him.
He's just a friend; he's just joking around.
Friend of yours?! Huh.
There's no friends allowed.
I thought the customer was always right.
Get out.
And never come back.
I'll break you out, Chad! I swear it.
Come hell or high water, you will be free! [ mouse squeaking quietly .]
[ audience laughing on TV .]
What's that, Cuddle K? No, we've lost Chad.
He's been sucked into that working man's machine.
[ sighs .]
Are you sick of meaningless work? I'm sick of my friend's meaningless work.
Now is the time to harness your potential, and maximize your earning flow with my Seven Step Up undeniable system.
My name is Max Gold and I'm rich beyond your wildest dreams.
You can be, too! [ ship's horn sounds .]
[ mouse squeaks .]
As you can see, Chad's working hard to pay every cent of the damage he's done.
[ sighs .]
Or, you can see it in person.
We could go down for a cone, maybe, uh, banana split, something, uh Uh, look, Tom, I'm raising Chad right.
It's just all the stress with the, um, winning of all the awards.
Awards? Well, now, that can't be true.
My window faces his and there isn't a single laurel in sight.
Well, he's got them.
Just, uh Anyway, you ever want a malted or something, you just, uh, you know Bye.
The Freezy B.
The Ben-ana Split.
Beez Nuts.
Yep, these are some of the many creamy creations I've invented.
Wow.
It's no big deal.
Just great products.
[ girl giggles .]
Now, if you'll excuse me, it seems that another lucky lady wants a tour of the freezer.
I got the 32nd flavor in there.
[ chuckles .]
Isn't it cold in there? That's why they need a hotshot like me.
I'm their number one cuddle buddy, Stevens.
Don't you forget it.
Hello, welcome to the Frosty King, where we treat you like a king.
- I would like a Clown Sundae, please.
- Uh, okay.
Oh wouldn't you like a Beez Nuts or something? - I'm-I'm not sure how to make - No.
Clown Sundae.
Okay, sure.
Uh, hang on.
Hmm - Woman: Clown Sundae.
- I got it, okay? Okay.
Let's see here.
Some of this.
Couple of these.
Top it off with this.
Okay.
and here's your Clown Sundae.
Oh, my.
I love it.
Ah! Look what Chad did.
Oh, my God.
Make another one.
- Check it out, Mr.
Shooty.
- Here you go.
Mmm, mmm! My God! Mmm! That's a hell of a treat, son.
Mmm! Oh, that's oh, mmm We totally have to add it to the menu.
[ growls .]
Hey, Stevens.
A customer lost a Rolex in the trash.
Go out to the Dumpster and go through every bag of trash till you find it.
Every bag.
Excuse me, ice cream man? Can I get two of those Clown Sundaes? And can you make them face each other like they're kissing? Get out.
[ sighs .]
Aw, man! Chad: Maybe this was a rite of passage, an initiation, something meant to bring men closer together.
Oh, say, Stevens! Hey, sorry, never mind, the customer just called.
They found their watch.
Now clean all that shit up.
[ laughs .]
I did it, Chad, old buddy! I know how to get you the money for the fence.
- I know the secret.
- What secret? - Max Gold's secret.
- [ scoffing .]
That guy on TV? I was inspired just by his charisma! I'm going to harness my will and manage my earning flow! [ watch beeps .]
Okay, break's over.
I have to get back inside.
I don't know why Benjamin's pissed at me, but I don't want to push it.
How am I going to get on Benjamin's good side? I know, I'll do it the old-fashioned way - humor! - Just you wait, Chad.
I'm gushing with ideas! You'll see! Hey, Benjamin, check it out.
I'm a uni-cone.
[ laughs .]
Ugh.
Unicorn jokes are so played out, Stevens.
Plus, you know how unsanitary it is to hold food against your forehead? That's coming out of your paycheck.
Cha-ching.
Oh, hey, Chad! I didn't know you worked here.
Oh, hi, Sharla.
- Nice uniform.
- Yeah.
[ laughs awkwardly .]
Chad, please.
Full uniform is required by all Trainees.
- Sorry, I - Apologies, ladies.
He's not qualified enough to speak to you.
Watch how it's done, son.
[ laughs .]
Welcome to the Frosty King, where we treat you like a queen.
[ giggling .]
So, your name is Sharla, right? Question: Were you born out of a clam shell? Because your mother must be Venus.
[ giggles .]
Oh, come on.
Hey girls, look.
I'm a uni-cone! [ laughing .]
Uni-cone! That's hilarious! - Girl 1: So clever! - Girl 2: I know, right? Hey, Mom, can I borrow some cash? I need a little seed money for some big ideas.
- Sure, honey.
- Whoa, whoa, hold on.
You can't jus give him the money when he asks.
Chris has to learn to earn.
- I wasn't talking to you.
- But I was listening.
You know, in my country we have a saying: "If it was easy, it would be easy.
" You an American, Chris.
You have to act like it.
Pull on your bootstraps.
Be a Rockefeller.
Don't ask mommy for money.
It's weak.
Go now.
[ groans .]
Terry.
Uh, h-hey, lover, uh, can I have five bucks? Hey, if you want to watch me, you got to pay.
You can still hear me.
Cough up.
Damn it.
Grump: Guys, help me, oh, oh, God, help me! [ shudders .]
Oh, help me, guys! Help me! Oh, oh, oh, guys! [ sighs .]
I'm in hell, man.
He made me look like an idiot in front of Sharla.
The guy's such a dick.
Why do girls like dicks? [ sighs .]
Working sucks.
You were right, Chris.
You have to get me out of here.
- Relax, dude, I got it all figured out.
- Grump vs.
Cat? It's genius.
Don't give up hope.
[ girls giggling .]
[ sighs .]
All right, bring it in, bring it in.
Places, ladies.
It's paycheck time.
[ girls giggle, squeal happily .]
Here, pal, take a picture of me handing each check to each employee, would you? - Really? - The girls love it.
It's totally awesome.
All right, Mindy, come on down.
- Ah, thanks, Ben.
- You got it, lady-lips.
Next up: Staceycakes, get up here.
[ girls giggling .]
[ giggling .]
Oh, hey, pal, I just remembered, we need a cone restock.
Hop-scoot up the back stairs, through the second door, and grab 'em pronto.
Thanks, guy.
[ gasps .]
[ screams .]
What are you doing in here? Get out! Get out of my house! Get out! [ shuddering .]
: Uh Oh, you know what? I was wrong.
[ girls giggling .]
We do have enough cones.
Sorry, bud.
[ chuckles .]
[ forced laugh .]
Go ahead, laugh it up.
As soon as I make the money I need, I am out of here.
Speaking of which, I've got your check.
Got to get your picture now.
[ chuckles .]
You should have the money you need in just about never.
[ chuckles .]
It was official.
I had succumbed to the workforce and the endless legion of dead-eyed adults zombified by responsibility, continuing on with their asshole lives, inspired by little more than momentum.
[ sighs .]
[ humming .]
Huh? Wha? Aw, man, what the hell am I going to do? Come one, come all, the battle of the ages.
See Grump as he takes on what the Egyptians claimed was a god.
Behold, Grump vs.
Cat! [ snarls .]
[ screaming .]
[ cat hissing .]
[ cawing .]
[ crowd cheering .]
[ bell dings .]
[ snake hissing .]
[ bell dings .]
[ crowd cheers and applauds .]
[ bell dings .]
[ buzzing .]
Here ye, here ye go, ma'am.
You've been treated by a king.
I like this new attitude, Stevens.
Seems like you and I finally understand each other.
Woman: Excuse me, this Sundae made my son cry.
I'm terribly sorry, ma'am.
Here, a Beez Nutz on the house.
Out of your paycheck cha-ching.
In this next bout, Grump faces his greatest opponent yet.
So big, so fierce, the price has gone up five dollars a head.
[ grumbling .]
Come on, you must! ou have to! If you miss this, it'll be the single greatest regret of your young lives.
[ murmuring, assenting .]
Yes, thank you, thank you very much.
You will not be disappointed.
You are in for quite a treat.
Now, behold! Grump versus Girl! [ cheering, whooping .]
We love you, Grump.
[ chuckles nervously .]
[ grunting .]
Boy: You got this.
[ crowd groans .]
Ooh! Oh! [ chuckles .]
[ grunts .]
Crowd: Oh! [ crowd groaning .]
Yikes.
[ groans .]
Come on, Grump, get up.
[ indistinct chatter .]
All right, fight's over.
Thanks for coming, everybody.
Have a great rest of your day.
Boo! I want my money back! That was no fight! Yes, technically, that was a fight.
That was a bout.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Easy, - What are you trying to do, pull a fast one on us? - we can work this out.
- Are you kidding me?! Ice cream! Ice cream for everyone! On the house! Follow me.
Grump: Oh my balls.
When I got my 280Z, I wasn't ready for that kick.
- Whoa, must be cool to drive.
- It is, but it's no big deal.
I'd love to show you around backstage sometime, - give you ladies a tour of the freezer.
- We'd love to.
Sure.
[ both laughing .]
Two backstage passes coming right up, ladies.
Excuse me, Stevens, I'm gonna go set up the freezer.
Nice and cozy.
[ sighs .]
[ door bell chimes .]
- What the hell's going on? - I got the money.
- You did? - There's only one catch: we have to give that mob free ice cream.
- What? I can't do that, man.
- But I promised them.
Hey, you're not allowed in here.
Show him the door, trainee now.
You better go, Chris.
[ Benjamin laughing .]
This is my kingdom, you latchkey reject.
Don't you forget it.
Benjamin: [ chuckles .]
That's right, go back to your shack, you pasty-lipped douche.
[ chuckles .]
- Hey, that's enough there, "Brenjamin.
" - You got a problem, Stevens? Yeah, don't ever talk to my friend that way.
He harnessed his potential and maximized his earning flow.
More than you'll ever do, you dick squeak.
Chris, let 'em in, let 'em all in.
Come on, everybody, free ice cream for all! - Help yourselves.
- Benjamin: No! No! Get out! No! No! Stop! No! Get out of here! Go! Stop, stop! Please! Benjamin: The Creamamatic! No, no.
My God, how could you let is happen, Benjamin? You're all fired, every one of you, fired! [ whimpering .]
No! [ sighs .]
- Whoo! We did it! - Yeah.
Screw this place.
He's been working so hard.
You'll see for yourself.
I just can't wait to Good God.
Mr.
Misko: Hmm.
Congratulations, buddy.
Well, Mr.
Misko, here's your money.
This should cover the damage to your fence and your tomato plants.
[ siren wails .]
[ tires screech, Wayne screams .]
Eh Mm-mm-mm.
Wow, I've never seen my dad run before.
Yeah, he's booking.
Hello, hello! Anyone here? Grump: Come in, I'm u-up here.
[ gasps .]
Oh, a clown just what the doctor o-ordered.
I sure could use some cheering up, on account of my balls.
sync & corrections by Vegemite, f1nc0
Chad: Never understood my dad's gardening thing.
When you get older, you must not know what fun is anymore.
Why else would you pick a hobby that's so much work? Okay, Chad, wrap it up and then we'll go to the dump.
[ sighs .]
[ both screaming .]
Whoa, whoa, whoa! I almost hit you, man.
What were you doing in there? Don't rake leaves, Chad.
Because eventually, a new pile will accumulate.
You know what I always say: Let the wind do the work for you.
I wish I could.
My dad said I have to rake [ girls giggling .]
Whoo.
Can you believe that? Wayne: Chad, let's get a move on.
Later, man.
Hey, Wayne, did I tell you about my boy Monty? Another promotion.
He's in charge of the whole operation down there now.
Wow, that's great.
[ quietly .]
: Braggart son of a bitch.
Tell him we said hi.
Hey, Dad, do you think I could try driving? [ groans .]
I don't know, Chad.
Seems unwise.
But I've watched you, and I I know how.
Come on, I'm 15.
Please? All right, I suppose you can pull out of the driveway.
I'll guide you.
[ engine starts .]
Now, the first thing to remember is [ Wayne yells, tires squeal .]
Aah! My fence! And my tomatoes! [ door slams .]
Mm-mm-mm.
What kind of boy are you raising there, Stevens? [ sighs .]
Chad: Nobody ever talked about the taste of shame.
It was metallic.
[ door opens .]
[ sighs .]
You really did a number on Misko's fence, Chad.
And did you have to hit the man's tomato plants? He loves those damn things.
- I'm so sorry, Dad.
- Me too, Chad.
'Cause you're going to have to pay for everything.
- What?! No way! - You're not a kid anymore.
You're 15, right? You hit a fence, you got to pay for it.
It's time to get a job immediately.
[ sighs .]
Car dealership? Calamitous.
Dentist office? Dreary.
Grocery store? What do you want to be, a bag boy, Chad? Checkout boy? Produce boy? Don't accept any fate with "boy" in the title.
Oh, you are not helping.
- Oh, yes, I am.
- H-hey! [ bright, hopeful melody plays .]
[ man in car whoops, chuckles .]
[ distant giggling .]
Ah, it's that guy.
Am I right? Oh, that's the truth.
Chad: Man, that guy's got it figured out.
"Help wanted.
" Serving ice cream could be cool, right? Cool to be a working stiff? Pfft! Come on, that guy works here.
Free ice cream.
It's a dream job.
It's a nightmare.
Punching clocks.
Smoke breaks.
Human resources.
If you know what's good for you, Chad, turn around and walk away.
Mmm, that's mmm.
So, Chad, why do you want to work at the Frosty King? Well, I think ice cream is wonderful.
I eat a little after dinner every night.
It's soothing.
And besides, I owe someone a sum of money.
Mm Chad, you remind me of myself as a young man.
Mm-hmm.
Little rough around the edges, but underneath, creamy through and through.
You're hired.
Thank you, sir.
I'll do you proud.
Shoo, derelict! [ grunts .]
Damn teenaged bums.
Mmm, that's mmm.
[ slurps .]
More sprinkles, sir? Absolutely.
Extra scoop, ma'am? Coming right up.
[ bell dings .]
[ alarm sounds .]
Sir, we have a full-on Nazi chocolate malt ball approaching at 12:00.
- Seems to be covered in nuts.
- Fire the torpedoes.
Bull's-eye! A direct hit.
Whoo! [ whooping and cheering .]
Chris: Holy Mary, Mother of God.
In some ways, this hurts me more than it does you.
Seeing you like this.
A tool.
A slave.
A plodder! Chris, I'm 15, and it's time to buckle down and grow up.
Oh, the oldest man in the world speaks.
What are you? Dad junior? Look, sure I'm entering the work force to fix the fence.
But beyond that, I want to buy a car and drive around.
Hopefully, with girls.
I got to go, man.
Can't be late on my first day.
Come on, Chad.
Must I save you from yourself? Must I? My liege.
Chad.
Welcome, son.
Benjamin.
[ girls giggle .]
You have lost weight.
Benjamin.
Don't make me walk all the way over there.
Yes, sir, Mr.
Shooty.
Coming right up.
Chad Stevens, this is Benjamin Brent.
My right arm.
My golden boy.
- Listen to him.
- I sure will, Mr.
Shooty.
Very good, my boy.
[ chuckles .]
So, another rooster in the hen house, huh? Excuse me? [ Benjamin chuckles .]
I'm the only one who can do that.
Okay, this here is ice cream command central.
Scoops, dipping station, toppings.
Everything at arm's reach.
So, tell me about Chad.
Oh.
Well, I'm, you know, I'm really excited to get I've worked here two years.
I drive a 280Z.
I make almost 10,000 a year.
No big deal.
- Whoa.
- You bet wow.
I run the show around here, okay? I've got these girls eating from the back of my hand, [ girls chat and giggle .]
and it didn't happen overnight.
It took work.
I see a guy like you come in here, I [ laughing .]
I know what you're thinking.
What am I thinking? [ Benjamin chuckles .]
This here's the centerpiece of the whole operation the Creamamatic.
Now, pay attention.
Mmm.
[ giggles .]
Hey, babe.
You got to weigh every cone.
Nothing over eight ounces.
You won't see me using that scale, though.
[ whispers .]
: 'Cause I'm that good.
Here, weigh it.
Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom! [ blowing air .]
Whoo! [ girls giggle .]
Benjamin! - Benjamin! - Girls: Benjamin! [ girls continue chanting.]
Benjamin join in, Chad.
- It's what we do.
- Uh, Benjamin.
Both: Benjamin, Benjamin.
I'm the king around here, Chad.
Never forget that.
Both: Benjamin! Benjamin! I will rescue you, my friend.
Oh, you look so handsome.
- Just like a man.
- Just like a little soldier.
[ Benjamin and girls giggle .]
Mom, please.
Classic.
[ chuckles .]
Come on, Wayne.
Let's let our Mr.
Worker Pants get back to work.
Jesus Christ! Ladies, let's let Mr.
Worker Pants get back to work.
[ Benjamin and girls laugh .]
Wow.
They really got you running the maze, don't they? So, how about treating this king with a chocolate sundae? - Put it on my tab, Chaddy boy.
- Hey, I have to pay for it, then.
To a lazy day! To us daydreamers! Chris, stop bugging the customers.
Uh, is there a problem here, boys? Yeah, there's a problem, all right: Me.
This is for your own good, Chad.
Chris: This young man is not letting me relax.
I'm just a peaceful Beatnik eating ice cream, and this dippy guy starts calling me names like "pissant" and "crackerwilly.
" Fire him immediately! [ laughs .]
Don't listen to him.
He's just a friend; he's just joking around.
Friend of yours?! Huh.
There's no friends allowed.
I thought the customer was always right.
Get out.
And never come back.
I'll break you out, Chad! I swear it.
Come hell or high water, you will be free! [ mouse squeaking quietly .]
[ audience laughing on TV .]
What's that, Cuddle K? No, we've lost Chad.
He's been sucked into that working man's machine.
[ sighs .]
Are you sick of meaningless work? I'm sick of my friend's meaningless work.
Now is the time to harness your potential, and maximize your earning flow with my Seven Step Up undeniable system.
My name is Max Gold and I'm rich beyond your wildest dreams.
You can be, too! [ ship's horn sounds .]
[ mouse squeaks .]
As you can see, Chad's working hard to pay every cent of the damage he's done.
[ sighs .]
Or, you can see it in person.
We could go down for a cone, maybe, uh, banana split, something, uh Uh, look, Tom, I'm raising Chad right.
It's just all the stress with the, um, winning of all the awards.
Awards? Well, now, that can't be true.
My window faces his and there isn't a single laurel in sight.
Well, he's got them.
Just, uh Anyway, you ever want a malted or something, you just, uh, you know Bye.
The Freezy B.
The Ben-ana Split.
Beez Nuts.
Yep, these are some of the many creamy creations I've invented.
Wow.
It's no big deal.
Just great products.
[ girl giggles .]
Now, if you'll excuse me, it seems that another lucky lady wants a tour of the freezer.
I got the 32nd flavor in there.
[ chuckles .]
Isn't it cold in there? That's why they need a hotshot like me.
I'm their number one cuddle buddy, Stevens.
Don't you forget it.
Hello, welcome to the Frosty King, where we treat you like a king.
- I would like a Clown Sundae, please.
- Uh, okay.
Oh wouldn't you like a Beez Nuts or something? - I'm-I'm not sure how to make - No.
Clown Sundae.
Okay, sure.
Uh, hang on.
Hmm - Woman: Clown Sundae.
- I got it, okay? Okay.
Let's see here.
Some of this.
Couple of these.
Top it off with this.
Okay.
and here's your Clown Sundae.
Oh, my.
I love it.
Ah! Look what Chad did.
Oh, my God.
Make another one.
- Check it out, Mr.
Shooty.
- Here you go.
Mmm, mmm! My God! Mmm! That's a hell of a treat, son.
Mmm! Oh, that's oh, mmm We totally have to add it to the menu.
[ growls .]
Hey, Stevens.
A customer lost a Rolex in the trash.
Go out to the Dumpster and go through every bag of trash till you find it.
Every bag.
Excuse me, ice cream man? Can I get two of those Clown Sundaes? And can you make them face each other like they're kissing? Get out.
[ sighs .]
Aw, man! Chad: Maybe this was a rite of passage, an initiation, something meant to bring men closer together.
Oh, say, Stevens! Hey, sorry, never mind, the customer just called.
They found their watch.
Now clean all that shit up.
[ laughs .]
I did it, Chad, old buddy! I know how to get you the money for the fence.
- I know the secret.
- What secret? - Max Gold's secret.
- [ scoffing .]
That guy on TV? I was inspired just by his charisma! I'm going to harness my will and manage my earning flow! [ watch beeps .]
Okay, break's over.
I have to get back inside.
I don't know why Benjamin's pissed at me, but I don't want to push it.
How am I going to get on Benjamin's good side? I know, I'll do it the old-fashioned way - humor! - Just you wait, Chad.
I'm gushing with ideas! You'll see! Hey, Benjamin, check it out.
I'm a uni-cone.
[ laughs .]
Ugh.
Unicorn jokes are so played out, Stevens.
Plus, you know how unsanitary it is to hold food against your forehead? That's coming out of your paycheck.
Cha-ching.
Oh, hey, Chad! I didn't know you worked here.
Oh, hi, Sharla.
- Nice uniform.
- Yeah.
[ laughs awkwardly .]
Chad, please.
Full uniform is required by all Trainees.
- Sorry, I - Apologies, ladies.
He's not qualified enough to speak to you.
Watch how it's done, son.
[ laughs .]
Welcome to the Frosty King, where we treat you like a queen.
[ giggling .]
So, your name is Sharla, right? Question: Were you born out of a clam shell? Because your mother must be Venus.
[ giggles .]
Oh, come on.
Hey girls, look.
I'm a uni-cone! [ laughing .]
Uni-cone! That's hilarious! - Girl 1: So clever! - Girl 2: I know, right? Hey, Mom, can I borrow some cash? I need a little seed money for some big ideas.
- Sure, honey.
- Whoa, whoa, hold on.
You can't jus give him the money when he asks.
Chris has to learn to earn.
- I wasn't talking to you.
- But I was listening.
You know, in my country we have a saying: "If it was easy, it would be easy.
" You an American, Chris.
You have to act like it.
Pull on your bootstraps.
Be a Rockefeller.
Don't ask mommy for money.
It's weak.
Go now.
[ groans .]
Terry.
Uh, h-hey, lover, uh, can I have five bucks? Hey, if you want to watch me, you got to pay.
You can still hear me.
Cough up.
Damn it.
Grump: Guys, help me, oh, oh, God, help me! [ shudders .]
Oh, help me, guys! Help me! Oh, oh, oh, guys! [ sighs .]
I'm in hell, man.
He made me look like an idiot in front of Sharla.
The guy's such a dick.
Why do girls like dicks? [ sighs .]
Working sucks.
You were right, Chris.
You have to get me out of here.
- Relax, dude, I got it all figured out.
- Grump vs.
Cat? It's genius.
Don't give up hope.
[ girls giggling .]
[ sighs .]
All right, bring it in, bring it in.
Places, ladies.
It's paycheck time.
[ girls giggle, squeal happily .]
Here, pal, take a picture of me handing each check to each employee, would you? - Really? - The girls love it.
It's totally awesome.
All right, Mindy, come on down.
- Ah, thanks, Ben.
- You got it, lady-lips.
Next up: Staceycakes, get up here.
[ girls giggling .]
[ giggling .]
Oh, hey, pal, I just remembered, we need a cone restock.
Hop-scoot up the back stairs, through the second door, and grab 'em pronto.
Thanks, guy.
[ gasps .]
[ screams .]
What are you doing in here? Get out! Get out of my house! Get out! [ shuddering .]
: Uh Oh, you know what? I was wrong.
[ girls giggling .]
We do have enough cones.
Sorry, bud.
[ chuckles .]
[ forced laugh .]
Go ahead, laugh it up.
As soon as I make the money I need, I am out of here.
Speaking of which, I've got your check.
Got to get your picture now.
[ chuckles .]
You should have the money you need in just about never.
[ chuckles .]
It was official.
I had succumbed to the workforce and the endless legion of dead-eyed adults zombified by responsibility, continuing on with their asshole lives, inspired by little more than momentum.
[ sighs .]
[ humming .]
Huh? Wha? Aw, man, what the hell am I going to do? Come one, come all, the battle of the ages.
See Grump as he takes on what the Egyptians claimed was a god.
Behold, Grump vs.
Cat! [ snarls .]
[ screaming .]
[ cat hissing .]
[ cawing .]
[ crowd cheering .]
[ bell dings .]
[ snake hissing .]
[ bell dings .]
[ crowd cheers and applauds .]
[ bell dings .]
[ buzzing .]
Here ye, here ye go, ma'am.
You've been treated by a king.
I like this new attitude, Stevens.
Seems like you and I finally understand each other.
Woman: Excuse me, this Sundae made my son cry.
I'm terribly sorry, ma'am.
Here, a Beez Nutz on the house.
Out of your paycheck cha-ching.
In this next bout, Grump faces his greatest opponent yet.
So big, so fierce, the price has gone up five dollars a head.
[ grumbling .]
Come on, you must! ou have to! If you miss this, it'll be the single greatest regret of your young lives.
[ murmuring, assenting .]
Yes, thank you, thank you very much.
You will not be disappointed.
You are in for quite a treat.
Now, behold! Grump versus Girl! [ cheering, whooping .]
We love you, Grump.
[ chuckles nervously .]
[ grunting .]
Boy: You got this.
[ crowd groans .]
Ooh! Oh! [ chuckles .]
[ grunts .]
Crowd: Oh! [ crowd groaning .]
Yikes.
[ groans .]
Come on, Grump, get up.
[ indistinct chatter .]
All right, fight's over.
Thanks for coming, everybody.
Have a great rest of your day.
Boo! I want my money back! That was no fight! Yes, technically, that was a fight.
That was a bout.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Easy, - What are you trying to do, pull a fast one on us? - we can work this out.
- Are you kidding me?! Ice cream! Ice cream for everyone! On the house! Follow me.
Grump: Oh my balls.
When I got my 280Z, I wasn't ready for that kick.
- Whoa, must be cool to drive.
- It is, but it's no big deal.
I'd love to show you around backstage sometime, - give you ladies a tour of the freezer.
- We'd love to.
Sure.
[ both laughing .]
Two backstage passes coming right up, ladies.
Excuse me, Stevens, I'm gonna go set up the freezer.
Nice and cozy.
[ sighs .]
[ door bell chimes .]
- What the hell's going on? - I got the money.
- You did? - There's only one catch: we have to give that mob free ice cream.
- What? I can't do that, man.
- But I promised them.
Hey, you're not allowed in here.
Show him the door, trainee now.
You better go, Chris.
[ Benjamin laughing .]
This is my kingdom, you latchkey reject.
Don't you forget it.
Benjamin: [ chuckles .]
That's right, go back to your shack, you pasty-lipped douche.
[ chuckles .]
- Hey, that's enough there, "Brenjamin.
" - You got a problem, Stevens? Yeah, don't ever talk to my friend that way.
He harnessed his potential and maximized his earning flow.
More than you'll ever do, you dick squeak.
Chris, let 'em in, let 'em all in.
Come on, everybody, free ice cream for all! - Help yourselves.
- Benjamin: No! No! Get out! No! No! Stop! No! Get out of here! Go! Stop, stop! Please! Benjamin: The Creamamatic! No, no.
My God, how could you let is happen, Benjamin? You're all fired, every one of you, fired! [ whimpering .]
No! [ sighs .]
- Whoo! We did it! - Yeah.
Screw this place.
He's been working so hard.
You'll see for yourself.
I just can't wait to Good God.
Mr.
Misko: Hmm.
Congratulations, buddy.
Well, Mr.
Misko, here's your money.
This should cover the damage to your fence and your tomato plants.
[ siren wails .]
[ tires screech, Wayne screams .]
Eh Mm-mm-mm.
Wow, I've never seen my dad run before.
Yeah, he's booking.
Hello, hello! Anyone here? Grump: Come in, I'm u-up here.
[ gasps .]
Oh, a clown just what the doctor o-ordered.
I sure could use some cheering up, on account of my balls.
sync & corrections by Vegemite, f1nc0