Over The Garden Wall (2014) s01e05 Episode Script
Mad Love
Yes, tea! That's my trade! Quincy Endicott's health tea.
Your tea sounds good.
Ugh.
Never touch the stuff myself.
Bleh.
Me either.
Ha ha! Yes! It's all for the money! Yes, the money takes my mind off my troubles the deep soul-crushing loneliness.
Yes, the more money I make, the bigger my mansion gets, the more lost I feel.
Why, this house is so big, I sometimes don't even know where or who I am! Yeah, well, I'm glad your nephews here were able to pay a visit.
Yeah, yeah! Yes, what a what a pleasure it is to have company a perfect pleasure.
A perfect pleasure, lads! A per yes, yes.
Yeah, yeah.
Ha ha! Yeah! Ha ha! Um, Beatrice, w-why are you pretending I'm this guy's nephew? We need money.
You're scamming him? I was thinking more like flat-out stealing from him.
- What? No way.
- Why not? We already stole a horse.
Hey, guys.
No, we didn't.
Fred's a talking horse.
He can do whatever he wants.
I want to steal.
What?! You guys are bonkers.
If we're going to Adelaide's, we need two cents.
Mm-hmm.
Well, you guys do what you two cents? Only two cents? Yeah, we need two pennies to take the ferry to Adelaide's pasture.
Ha ha! Come, everyone! Let us retire to the parlor and enjoy my unnecessary excess of wealth and luxury.
Well, maybe he just has some loose change somewhere he wouldn't mind us taking.
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
Hmm.
Behold, nephew, the majesty of wealth! Ooh! What was that?! - Uh - What's wrong, Unkie Endicott? Your forehead is all sweaty.
M-my nerves.
My my my ner My nerves are a bust these days.
How come? Uh, yes, yes.
Maybe it would be be good to to talk to someone.
Well, y Actually, it all began one day when I was exploring my exceedingly large and labyrinthine manor here.
I happened upon a section of the house I didn't even recall building.
Isn't that funny? Must've been the old wing.
But it was lit in a rather sort of eer eerie eerie light.
And I pressed on, and then I-I saw the painting of the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, and that's when things took a rather strange turn.
From that day on, I was obsessed with the woman in the portrait.
She con consumed my every thought.
I'd fallen in love ha ha with a ghost.
Ohhhhhhhhh.
It's too big.
Get a grip.
Oh, I must sound crazy, mustn't I? Perhaps it's time for you all to leave my treasure-filled home.
No! Yeah, Unkie! I want to see the ghost! Ohh, how I long to see her just once again, as well, yes.
To the painting! Yes.
Yes.
Ooh, boy! Ghost hunt! Fred, go with them.
Buy me some time.
While I'm at it, I'll steal other stuff, too.
We're supposed to just be looking for loose change.
- That's what I'm - Aah! Oops.
That's what I'm doing.
Well, let's try not to break any more aah, gah! Oh, hey.
Hey, you didn't check the armoire.
Endicott's back.
Hide! - Is that the portrait? - No.
- Is that the portrait? - No.
Look, w-w-why don't I-I just tell you when we reach the portrait.
Okay, what's the matter, Unkie? You seem tense.
You know me well, nephew.
Yes, the truth is I'm frightened.
Of a ghost? Ghosts are just floaty things.
Oh, no, no, not afraid of the ghost.
I mean I'm afraid what what what if there is no ghost? What if I'm on the on the on the on the brink of hmm madness.
Maybe the doctors were right.
Come along, boys! Back to the parlor.
The parlor? What would anyone go the parlor for? There's nobody in the parlor certainly nobody after your money.
Yeah, no giving up now, old man.
It's gotta be a ghost! But h-how can you be so certain? 'Cause I really, really want to see a ghost really bad.
Oh.
Whew.
Okay, I think they're gone.
Beatrice? You there? Bah! Yes, smart guy.
Start searching for change.
Uh, I can't see anything in here.
Well, I-I don't think these coats have pockets.
Check the lining.
Maybe somebody sewed money into the fabric.
Nope.
Do people even do that? I've done it on my clothes.
You wear clothes? Like a little bird vest or something? Or little bows? When I was a human, fool.
You used to be human? Did I know that? I-I don't think I knew that.
Jiminy Cricket! Let's just find some coins, all right? Open the door.
It's stuck.
Well, guess we have to spend some quality time together.
Help! The greenhouse.
This is where I grow my camellia for testing new teas.
Perhaps we should savor the the quiet tranquility of this this place.
Aah! Aah! Ghost! Aaaaaaaahh! Aah! Aah! I can't do it! Uncle Endicott, it's just a funny chicken.
Yes, o-one of my prize-winning roasting peacocks.
Yes, with all this love in my brain, I, uh, forgot to feed them.
It's almost as though I've lost my mind.
We can look for that after we find our ghost.
Heave-ho! Yes, yes.
Heave-ho.
Into the abyss never to return.
Um, anyone want to go back to the parlor? Hey.
Are you still there? Yes, Wirt.
I'm still here.
So, how did you become a bluebird? Hey, what's that? Don't change the subject.
Hmm.
There's a breeze coming out of here.
Oh, yeah.
Whoa! What?! A secret entrance! So, about your dark secret.
Hey, how about you tell me your dark secrets instead, huh? My secrets are too secret.
Hey, look.
Light.
Whoa.
Now who's avoiding the question? - You.
- Fine.
I threw a rock at a bluebird, and it cursed me and my family, and now we're all bluebirds.
Happy? Now you go.
Whoa.
Y-your whole family? Yeah.
Is that why you're going to Adelaide to fix things? That was the plan, but Yeah, that was the plan.
It'll all work out.
All I know is I am never going back till I can make them human again.
I'd do pretty much anything.
All right.
My turn, huh? Okay.
Well, it's weird to admit it, but, well, I-I have this crush on this girl.
Mm-hmm.
- That's all.
- That's all? And I think about her a lot, and I play clarinet.
Wirt! You got to be kidding me.
And I secretly whisper poetry to myself in my room at night.
Wirt, that stuffs not weird.
Those are just Well, the poetry thing is weird.
But those are just character traits.
You played clarinet? Sort of.
What else do you do? I don't know.
Uh hey.
Does this room look different to you? Uh, how so? It's like French-rococo style.
That doesn't really seem in line with Endicott's Georgian sensibilities.
How what? Who on earth am I talking to right now? Should I not know that sort of stuff? Endicott probably just built it without thinking, right? Or whoa.
Yeah.
W-what if the ghost he was talking about was actually This is the room where the room where I first saw her.
Whoa! Just a bedroom? Just a bedroom, my nephew? This is the chamber of mine own true love, and here she stands, hovering above us like the blinding sun.
Hmm.
No ghost? No ghost? Then I am mad.
Don't be mad.
Hey.
What's this suspicious mess over here? It looks like there was a struggle a violent struggle.
What are you implying, my equine friend? Nothing, nothing.
I'm just Endicott is a crazed lunatic who did away with the lady of the house and is now pretending to own the place! What?! Who do you think you are, making accusa I see it now.
You're after my money.
Do you know what I did for this money t-the things these filthy hands have done to make this money?! I'll never steal again, I swear.
I'll get an honest job.
And what say you, nephew? Uh, I'm confused.
Well, then She comes for me! Wait, Unkie! Face your fears! Mr.
Endicott? Are you all right? Psst! Ghost.
What do you want with me, spirit? Spirit? But you're the ghost.
My lady, I assure you I am flesh and blood and I I welcome you to my home.
Your home? Good sir, you're in my home.
Impossible! Look here.
You see? This is my camellia garden for my tea company.
Margueritte Grey?! Why, with all due respect, madam, this is my tea garden.
Quincy Endicott?! Your guys' mansions are so huge they're actually connected.
So you you mean that beautiful ghost was really just That dashing specter was really just My business competitor? Well, Greg, my boy, I can't thank you enough for helping me to face my fears.
You're a you're a sweet boy with good sense.
Take this penny and start your fortune.
And here's one from me, as well.
Hey, nice.
Now we can ride the ferry.
Well, everybody, I think it's time we head to Adelaide of the pasture, the good woman of the woods.
Uh, what about you, Fred? Are you coming with us? No, thanks.
I've got a real job now as an official tea horse.
Well, then I guess that's it.
Off you go, the lot of you.
- Good-bye.
- Good-bye.
Good-bye.
And don't forget to buy Endicott brand tea.
Hey, Wirt.
You did good back there.
Yeah? You got a lot more going for you than I thought.
Huh? Greg! Our pennies! Why did you do that?! 'Cause Uncle Endicott pegged me all wrong I've got no "cents," no "cents" at all.
Your tea sounds good.
Ugh.
Never touch the stuff myself.
Bleh.
Me either.
Ha ha! Yes! It's all for the money! Yes, the money takes my mind off my troubles the deep soul-crushing loneliness.
Yes, the more money I make, the bigger my mansion gets, the more lost I feel.
Why, this house is so big, I sometimes don't even know where or who I am! Yeah, well, I'm glad your nephews here were able to pay a visit.
Yeah, yeah! Yes, what a what a pleasure it is to have company a perfect pleasure.
A perfect pleasure, lads! A per yes, yes.
Yeah, yeah.
Ha ha! Yeah! Ha ha! Um, Beatrice, w-why are you pretending I'm this guy's nephew? We need money.
You're scamming him? I was thinking more like flat-out stealing from him.
- What? No way.
- Why not? We already stole a horse.
Hey, guys.
No, we didn't.
Fred's a talking horse.
He can do whatever he wants.
I want to steal.
What?! You guys are bonkers.
If we're going to Adelaide's, we need two cents.
Mm-hmm.
Well, you guys do what you two cents? Only two cents? Yeah, we need two pennies to take the ferry to Adelaide's pasture.
Ha ha! Come, everyone! Let us retire to the parlor and enjoy my unnecessary excess of wealth and luxury.
Well, maybe he just has some loose change somewhere he wouldn't mind us taking.
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
Hmm.
Behold, nephew, the majesty of wealth! Ooh! What was that?! - Uh - What's wrong, Unkie Endicott? Your forehead is all sweaty.
M-my nerves.
My my my ner My nerves are a bust these days.
How come? Uh, yes, yes.
Maybe it would be be good to to talk to someone.
Well, y Actually, it all began one day when I was exploring my exceedingly large and labyrinthine manor here.
I happened upon a section of the house I didn't even recall building.
Isn't that funny? Must've been the old wing.
But it was lit in a rather sort of eer eerie eerie light.
And I pressed on, and then I-I saw the painting of the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, and that's when things took a rather strange turn.
From that day on, I was obsessed with the woman in the portrait.
She con consumed my every thought.
I'd fallen in love ha ha with a ghost.
Ohhhhhhhhh.
It's too big.
Get a grip.
Oh, I must sound crazy, mustn't I? Perhaps it's time for you all to leave my treasure-filled home.
No! Yeah, Unkie! I want to see the ghost! Ohh, how I long to see her just once again, as well, yes.
To the painting! Yes.
Yes.
Ooh, boy! Ghost hunt! Fred, go with them.
Buy me some time.
While I'm at it, I'll steal other stuff, too.
We're supposed to just be looking for loose change.
- That's what I'm - Aah! Oops.
That's what I'm doing.
Well, let's try not to break any more aah, gah! Oh, hey.
Hey, you didn't check the armoire.
Endicott's back.
Hide! - Is that the portrait? - No.
- Is that the portrait? - No.
Look, w-w-why don't I-I just tell you when we reach the portrait.
Okay, what's the matter, Unkie? You seem tense.
You know me well, nephew.
Yes, the truth is I'm frightened.
Of a ghost? Ghosts are just floaty things.
Oh, no, no, not afraid of the ghost.
I mean I'm afraid what what what if there is no ghost? What if I'm on the on the on the on the brink of hmm madness.
Maybe the doctors were right.
Come along, boys! Back to the parlor.
The parlor? What would anyone go the parlor for? There's nobody in the parlor certainly nobody after your money.
Yeah, no giving up now, old man.
It's gotta be a ghost! But h-how can you be so certain? 'Cause I really, really want to see a ghost really bad.
Oh.
Whew.
Okay, I think they're gone.
Beatrice? You there? Bah! Yes, smart guy.
Start searching for change.
Uh, I can't see anything in here.
Well, I-I don't think these coats have pockets.
Check the lining.
Maybe somebody sewed money into the fabric.
Nope.
Do people even do that? I've done it on my clothes.
You wear clothes? Like a little bird vest or something? Or little bows? When I was a human, fool.
You used to be human? Did I know that? I-I don't think I knew that.
Jiminy Cricket! Let's just find some coins, all right? Open the door.
It's stuck.
Well, guess we have to spend some quality time together.
Help! The greenhouse.
This is where I grow my camellia for testing new teas.
Perhaps we should savor the the quiet tranquility of this this place.
Aah! Aah! Ghost! Aaaaaaaahh! Aah! Aah! I can't do it! Uncle Endicott, it's just a funny chicken.
Yes, o-one of my prize-winning roasting peacocks.
Yes, with all this love in my brain, I, uh, forgot to feed them.
It's almost as though I've lost my mind.
We can look for that after we find our ghost.
Heave-ho! Yes, yes.
Heave-ho.
Into the abyss never to return.
Um, anyone want to go back to the parlor? Hey.
Are you still there? Yes, Wirt.
I'm still here.
So, how did you become a bluebird? Hey, what's that? Don't change the subject.
Hmm.
There's a breeze coming out of here.
Oh, yeah.
Whoa! What?! A secret entrance! So, about your dark secret.
Hey, how about you tell me your dark secrets instead, huh? My secrets are too secret.
Hey, look.
Light.
Whoa.
Now who's avoiding the question? - You.
- Fine.
I threw a rock at a bluebird, and it cursed me and my family, and now we're all bluebirds.
Happy? Now you go.
Whoa.
Y-your whole family? Yeah.
Is that why you're going to Adelaide to fix things? That was the plan, but Yeah, that was the plan.
It'll all work out.
All I know is I am never going back till I can make them human again.
I'd do pretty much anything.
All right.
My turn, huh? Okay.
Well, it's weird to admit it, but, well, I-I have this crush on this girl.
Mm-hmm.
- That's all.
- That's all? And I think about her a lot, and I play clarinet.
Wirt! You got to be kidding me.
And I secretly whisper poetry to myself in my room at night.
Wirt, that stuffs not weird.
Those are just Well, the poetry thing is weird.
But those are just character traits.
You played clarinet? Sort of.
What else do you do? I don't know.
Uh hey.
Does this room look different to you? Uh, how so? It's like French-rococo style.
That doesn't really seem in line with Endicott's Georgian sensibilities.
How what? Who on earth am I talking to right now? Should I not know that sort of stuff? Endicott probably just built it without thinking, right? Or whoa.
Yeah.
W-what if the ghost he was talking about was actually This is the room where the room where I first saw her.
Whoa! Just a bedroom? Just a bedroom, my nephew? This is the chamber of mine own true love, and here she stands, hovering above us like the blinding sun.
Hmm.
No ghost? No ghost? Then I am mad.
Don't be mad.
Hey.
What's this suspicious mess over here? It looks like there was a struggle a violent struggle.
What are you implying, my equine friend? Nothing, nothing.
I'm just Endicott is a crazed lunatic who did away with the lady of the house and is now pretending to own the place! What?! Who do you think you are, making accusa I see it now.
You're after my money.
Do you know what I did for this money t-the things these filthy hands have done to make this money?! I'll never steal again, I swear.
I'll get an honest job.
And what say you, nephew? Uh, I'm confused.
Well, then She comes for me! Wait, Unkie! Face your fears! Mr.
Endicott? Are you all right? Psst! Ghost.
What do you want with me, spirit? Spirit? But you're the ghost.
My lady, I assure you I am flesh and blood and I I welcome you to my home.
Your home? Good sir, you're in my home.
Impossible! Look here.
You see? This is my camellia garden for my tea company.
Margueritte Grey?! Why, with all due respect, madam, this is my tea garden.
Quincy Endicott?! Your guys' mansions are so huge they're actually connected.
So you you mean that beautiful ghost was really just That dashing specter was really just My business competitor? Well, Greg, my boy, I can't thank you enough for helping me to face my fears.
You're a you're a sweet boy with good sense.
Take this penny and start your fortune.
And here's one from me, as well.
Hey, nice.
Now we can ride the ferry.
Well, everybody, I think it's time we head to Adelaide of the pasture, the good woman of the woods.
Uh, what about you, Fred? Are you coming with us? No, thanks.
I've got a real job now as an official tea horse.
Well, then I guess that's it.
Off you go, the lot of you.
- Good-bye.
- Good-bye.
Good-bye.
And don't forget to buy Endicott brand tea.
Hey, Wirt.
You did good back there.
Yeah? You got a lot more going for you than I thought.
Huh? Greg! Our pennies! Why did you do that?! 'Cause Uncle Endicott pegged me all wrong I've got no "cents," no "cents" at all.