Pitch (2016) s01e05 Episode Script
Alfonzo Guzman-Chavez
1 Previously on Pitch Rhonda, I need you to book me on the first flight to Amsterdam.
None of the GMs can know where I'm going.
We were just wondering where Oscar is.
Oh, it's an abscessed tooth.
- That was a lie, right? - Bold-faced.
Maxine, I am never going to go along with this.
Well, we are gonna miss you around here.
My kid wants a try out.
Really? We're kind of in the middle of something Just let her throw a few.
Let's go, I'm buying.
I'm gonna call it early tonight, boys.
I guess you could come.
Well, since you're begging me, Tommy.
- We need to be more careful.
- Relax.
I'm not gonna say anything.
Although, I don't know why.
- Ginny's a big girl.
- She's had your poster on her wall.
Nolan: For the next two days, guys in Major League front offices will be sweating as much as the guys on the field.
Half the GMs are scrambling to find the missing pieces they need to make a playoff run while the other half are holding fire sales hoping to restock their pipelines with prospects.
And they all have armies of guys who dream of being Jonah Hill.
And not Wolf of Wall Street Jonah Hill, with the hookers, the coke and the veneers, but Moneyball Jonah Hill, with the algorithms and the donuts.
- All right, gentlemen - Meanwhile, the players, - you know, the human beings - we have 48 hours.
Whose lives are turned upside down when they're shipped from one city to another, try to focus on the only thing they have control over, playing baseball.
Enberg (on radio): The Padres are down to their final out.
Blip Sanders tying run there at first base.
The pitch.
Lawson swings.
He got all of it.
It's heading up the gap.
Sanders rounds third.
He comes in and scores.
The ball skips by the catcher's mitt, and Mike Lawson, they're gonna send him home! He slides head first! Safe! Six in a row.
Oh, my.
And Lawson is being mobbed at home plate.
They're trying to resuscitate that dude.
Remind me to hit it over the fence next time.
I'm getting too old for inside the park home runs.
Blip: Don't get carried away.
That was a double with two errors.
Who died and made you official scorer? Butch: Hey, Baker, sorry I cost you a W.
As long as we get the win and runs are charged to you, not me.
Catching on, grasshopper.
You taught me well.
Hey, Butch, what's with the bag? Did you hear something? Butch: Oh, no, but this time of year got to be ready.
I learned the hard way.
You don't want to end up in Kansas City with just floss and one pair of boxers.
- You can disappear like that.
- Like the rapture.
- Nothing left but your cleats.
- Mike: Baker, but you can relax.
You're the biggest story in baseball, you're not going anywhere.
Relax says the man with no-trade clause.
That's right, 'cause your ass isn't going anywhere either.
Well, tell that to Ken Rosenthal on MLB.
Did Ken Rosenthal say something about you being traded? Blip was on a list with like a hundred other players who the Cubs might be targeting.
And that's all? - Yeah, it was nothing.
- Mike: I remember my first deadline.
I couldn't sleep for a week.
Oh, here we go.
Grandpa story time.
Somebody get him a pipe and some ear hair.
Oh, wait, hold on.
- No, all he needs is the pipe.
- (laughter) That's funny.
Well, now you don't get the story.
- You want it now, don't you? - Damn it, I do.
Come on, give me the story, bro.
How do you do that? - Hey, Baker, you're not going anywhere.
- Yeah, but what about these guys? (low, indistinct chatter) Hey, put your phones down.
Phones down.
That means you, too, Tommy Tough Nuts.
Put your phone down.
Look, if one of you were getting traded you'd hear it from the GM, not Twitter.
And I'm not gonna lie, these next two days are gonna be rough, but guess what? We just won six in a row, and the Giants and the Dodgers hear footsteps.
So, I'm thinking, like it or not, I'm gonna be seeing all your ugly mugs right here tomorrow.
Even you Javanes, with that beautifully manicured goatee.
How does he do that anyway? Do you, like, - groom between innings? - (laughter) (indistinct chatter) (chatter stops) Don't mind me, just passing through.
I take that back.
One of you is a goner.
Have no fear.
Great win today, Al.
Those guys are gonna give me a heart attack, - but they're getting it done.
- Yeah.
So are we just on a lucky roll, or is this team for real? Oh, could be.
- Need a few more pieces.
- (groans) - You okay? - Yeah, just a toothache.
Mm.
I know our shopping list.
Setup guy, utility infielder - and a corner man who can hit.
- Sounds about right.
But tough to pull off.
Al, look me in the eye.
If I get you these players, are we in the playoff hunt? You have unusually long eyelashes.
Uh, it's from my mother.
Ah.
You get me those players, we're contenders.
Does our new president of baseball operations know about this sudden change of plans? I'm not sure he remembers my name.
Oscar, Oscar, Oscar.
(chuckling): No, get over here.
Okay.
- Hi.
All right.
- Oh.
(grunts) Listen, the move from Palo Alto's been a bitch.
Sorry I haven't had a chance to sit down.
Do you have a minute now? Yeah.
How come nobody told me how much I was gonna love it here? I mean, running on the beach, the Gaslamp District, Comic Con.
I mean who doesn't love cosplay, right? But let's face it, you're not here to listen to me give you a San Diego booster speech.
You got 44 hours to the trade deadline.
You want to make some moves.
And I'm thinking we need to be buyers.
Ambitious.
I like it.
Do you think ownership will be supportive? Maxine's given me carte blanche to do whatever I think is best for the team, - That's great.
- Which is why during your shopping spree, you cannot give up any of our top prospects.
That includes Levine - That's Livan.
- Livan.
And the kid from Tennessee.
They're off the table.
And you're gonna need to cut at least $2 million from the payroll.
(soft chuckle) No, those-those two mandates are at cross purposes.
I know.
But it's like, you know when people say, "Sky's the limit"? They're really limiting themselves.
I mean, look at everything you've done in your life.
You grew up in the poorest section of Mexico City.
You made it to the major leagues.
You retired.
You became a scout, and then you became a lawyer.
And now, not only are you one of three Latino GMs in the league, you're also the best dressed.
(chuckles) Your whole life is a can-do story, Oscar.
There is no limit to what you can do.
Is there? There's still a chance.
You can still win this, even though you're in second place.
Come on.
- Spin her out.
- No.
- Gabriel: Oh, yeah.
- (Ginny chuckles) Verdict? Baby, this is your best risotto yet.
Pfft.
You say that every time.
It's 'cause you keep getting better and better.
- And I keep getting more scared of you.
- Yo, hey! Dinner's almost ready! Oh, yeah! Chalk up another victory for Aunt Ginny.
Wha I mean, I-I got lucky.
You'll get me next time.
You don't want me to start doing the thing where I let you win, do you? - No.
- Yes.
Blip: Psst.
You know they're only seven right? - And a half.
- It's your turn to set the table.
- Again? - Oh, yeah! Yeah.
(chuckling): Oh, yeah.
(Ginny laughs) - You're not gonna help? - Help? I got you in here, didn't I? (phone chimes) (Evelyn gasps) The house in San Elijo just came back on the market.
Mm, the one with the basketball court? - Yes.
- Wow.
And the huge walk-in closets, three blocks from the twins' school.
Look at that kitchen.
- Look at that yard.
- Wow.
The price dropped by 50 grand.
Baby, I cannot think about buying a new house right now, especially two days away from the trade deadline.
Is this about the FiveThirtyEight story? Wait, there's a story about me in FiveThirtyEight? Babe, you have nothing to worry about.
You're an all-star player with a team-friendly contract.
Yeah, you're not going anywhere.
I am a baseball player without a no-trade clause.
Nothing's written in stone.
But, I mean, you can't move.
You're the only real friends I have.
Hey, Gin, this is Jordan Collins, our new second baseman.
Just moved in from Charlotte.
Why don't you take him through the warmup drills? Um First we're tossing, and then after tossing, we do some running.
And after running, you're probably gonna throw up.
(chuckles) I know what you're gonna say.
Heard it all before.
You throw like a boy, you run like a boy.
(chuckles) I won't hold it against you.
Whoa.
Jordan Collins, you can throw.
Never underestimate the powers of the handicapped.
Um, I didn't.
You never seen In Living Color? - Can't say I have.
- You should see the show.
Bring over my DVDs someday after practice.
Don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not about dating my teammates.
Don't take this the wrong way, but neither am I.
How are you about making friends? (exhales) I started off slow, but I found my rhythm.
Finally got in the zone.
(chuckles) Are you doing color? Post-game wrap.
Ah.
I was about to get to you.
High marks.
I'm honored.
Leaving so soon? I can't sleep here.
- Who said we were sleeping? - I got to get back.
I left my night guard at my place.
Your night guard? If I don't sleep with it, I get a sore jaw and a migraine.
(chuckles) Night guard, huh? Well, that's a long way to go for an excuse not to stay.
Sorry.
Was I supposed to get all weak in the knees because you wanted me to stay? I'll walk you to your car.
(Mike grunts, Amelia chuckles) (car alarm beeps) - What the hell? - Mike: Oh, come on.
- Not again.
- Again? - You know who did this? - Man, I hate this groupie on groupie crime.
Did you just call me a groupie? No.
No.
No, no.
I meant groupie on you, an accomplished woman who's clearly not a groupie, crime.
It-It just came out Don't hurt yourself.
Come on, Amelia.
Amelia? - Wow.
- Amel Wha I (sighs) Careful changing lanes without your side mirrors.
Oscar: We just flipped Butch Hunter to the Cardinals for Omar Robles and a player to be named.
(cheering, whooping) Butch (softly): Yes.
Oscar: One down, two to go.
Congratulations on the Robles trade.
Thank you.
Payroll's still a little high.
Yeah, I still have 39 hours.
Eh, 38 hours and 51 minutes, - but, uh, who's counting right? - (chuckling) All right, have a good night and remember no limits.
- No limits! - All right.
(door closes) Except the budget.
The two favorites have to be Texas and the Dodgers.
That was an absolute debacle.
And part of the reason that happened was because rumors, right? People tweet about (TV turns off) (phone ringing) - Hello? - Hey, Eliot.
You have a fantasy baseball team, right? The "Who's Your Papis.
" We're tied for third place right now, but after this weekend You don't actually care, do you? You have Blip on your team, right? And just so you know, I would've drafted you, but my keeper - was a pitcher and - It's okay.
It's okay.
There are just a lot of rumors out there, so I was just wondering: is there any way the Padres would trade Blip? (sighs) An All-Star center fielder with a multiyear, affordable contract? - Doubtful.
- But not impossible.
I guess if the Padres could get a cheap young guy in a position they need more, like third base.
Like Dom Cristiello.
Wait, hold on.
Okay, there's a rumor that the Angels might be looking to trade Cristiello for a catcher who can hit, like the Braves' Chase.
But according to traderumors.
com, the Braves aren't looking to rent.
So, the only way Chase moves is if they were to get a young starting pitcher like Baltimore's Alfonso Guzman-Chavez.
And the Orioles aren't looking to part with their ace.
I have no idea what you just said.
Do I have to worry about Blip leaving? I'll make it easy for you.
As long as Alfonso Guzman-Chavez stays an Oriole, Blip stays a Padre.
Alfonso Guzman-Chavez stays an Oriole.
Great.
Thanks.
So, what pitchers do you have on your team? Don't tell me you have Sonny and not me.
His WHIP is really good.
(phone line clicks) Hello? The guys on the team, this has happened to me.
You know, I played in Florida for a long time and I It's hot in here.
(laughter) Oh, then there's Pretty Woman.
Both: Hated it.
(both laughing) This show's so wrong.
That's why it's funny.
It's getting late.
Oh, my dad should be here any minute.
Well, Ginny's got an early morning bullpen, so she needs to go to bed soon.
Why don't I take you home, son? I mean, he's He's probably on his way.
(sighs) I'm sorry, Mr.
Baker.
Your father's a busy man.
Working, raising you all by himself.
I get it.
Yeah, he is.
Still, I hope he can come see one of your games.
You've been raking.
He's not as big a baseball fan as you are.
(engine turns off) Looks like this is my stop.
Ray: Jordo.
Thanks.
Everything okay, Dad? Everything's fine.
(engine starts) No, thank you.
Call me when you're ready to talk Barnes.
Here you go.
- What's that? - You're going to the dentist.
- No, I'm not.
- You have an abscessed tooth.
Yeah, thanks to you.
You jinxed me.
It's not going away on its own and Dr.
Gerard can see you now.
He said it won't take long.
(sighs) Okay, but I need an analytics guy to come with him.
Grab Ross.
First name Ross or last name Ross? You know the one I like.
Your car's here.
- Oh, my car's in the shop.
- This was left here for you.
Mike: Oh, what a surprise.
You got me a car? (chuckling): It's a loaner.
I'm part owner of a dealership, so we get 'em for free, but I made sure that yours was completely loaded.
Shaker HD radio, cross-traffic alert.
- Mm.
- It's the least I could do.
Just a little tip from a professional.
Don't apologize for calling me a groupie by treating me like one.
I was making sure that you had something to drive while your car was in the shop.
Unlike most of the women that you sleep with, I'm solvent and old enough to rent my own car.
You could just say thank you.
Sir, I-I just want to say what an honor it is to be here.
W-Who's next on the list of possible relievers? Uh, uh, uh, Gordon from Seattle.
- All right, get me Fishman in Seattle.
- Okay.
Do you have the number? (line dialing) Yeah, I had my wisdom teeth out last year.
- (line ringing) - It-it really wasn't that bad.
I, uh I used tea bags to keep down the swelling.
Did you go to MIT or Cal Tech? Uh, Camarillo Junior College.
My dad's friends with Maxine.
- (line continues ringing) - Is your first name Ross? Oh, you wanted Jake Ross, didn't you? Fishman: Oscar, what can I do for you? Word is you're looking for a DH.
I have a first baseman with a .
479 slugging percentage.
Han for Gordon, what do you think? Who are you gonna put on first? We're moving Weidner from third.
- Then who's playing third? - Not your worry.
Come on.
Let's trade our players, and their contracts, and get on with our lives.
Fine, Gordon's yours.
All right.
Han's on the first plane to Seattle.
(call ends) Yes! All right.
We have a reliever and we trimmed $2 million off the payroll.
So who's gonna play third for us tonight? You know, don't take this the wrong way, but you're a bit of a killjoy, Ross.
Let me know if your guy hears anything else about when and if those pictures are gonna to drop.
- Still quiet, so far.
- (sighs) Let's hope it stays that way.
I also need you to return this to Lawson Auto Gallery.
- Uh, the one in Carlsbad? - Whichever one's closest.
Okay.
You can stop playing dumb.
I know that you know about me and Mike.
Okay? You didn't know about me and Mike? Okay.
I mean, not that there's really anything to know, but thanks to some D-level groupie who took out her frustration on my car and Mike's absurd attempts to make amends, I need you to take this car back to the dealership ASAP.
Okay, the groupie was probably more of like an A-level groupie.
Yeah.
You know, Mike may be a womanizer, but he has good taste.
(chuckling): Obviously.
And we're two consenting adults.
It's been a lonely couple of years and he makes me laugh.
I mean, I really don't see what the problem is or frankly, why this is any of your business.
I don't know.
(sighs) Of course, you cannot breathe a word about this to anybody, especially Ginny.
Hey, like a lot of you, uh, I'm gonna miss Butch, and, uh, not 'cause with him gone I'm now the oldest one on the team.
But, uh happy travels, Butch.
Hey, Tommy, you're gonna have to find somebody else to beat at MLB 16.
AL: All right, listen up.
I want you to all welcome Omar Robles.
And, uh, I don't know if you've all heard, but, uh, Butch Hunter's been traded.
- Yeah, we noticed.
- No, I mean he's been traded again.
St.
Louis sent him to Chicago.
I wish I had that guy's frequent flyer miles.
You bring your third base glove? No, sir.
I never played third before.
Hope you're a fast learner.
Over here.
(sighs) How 'bout we take some, uh, quality time away from all these trade rumors.
What were you thinking? Never stop, never quit Never stop, never quit Never stop, never quit Never stop, never quit Never stop, never quit - (breathing heavily) - Never stop, never quit Never stop, never quit (panting) I'm gonna miss that S.
O.
B.
Yeah.
No one belts Blake Shelton songs like Butch.
(exhales) You know, the worst part is our kids are like best friends.
Jordan: Hey.
To NC State's new pitching phenom.
It's not that big a deal.
You got yourself a free ride to college.
That's a big deal.
I just wish you were coming.
Ah.
It is what it is.
My dad doesn't have the money and I don't have your arm.
You just have to promise, while you're leading the wolf pack to the College World Series, you won't forget about me.
That's not gonna happen.
I moved around.
I know how these things go.
No I meant the wolf pack isn't making the College World Series.
I'm definitely gonna forget you.
- (chuckles softly) - (laughs) Definitely.
(sniffs) There he is.
What's up, big man? Ginny, this is my wife Tessa Hi.
And this is Jimmy.
- Go on, say hi.
- (phone vibrating) Sorry, excuse me.
There's a rumor that Cleveland's asking about Blip.
Enberg: Well, somehow the Padres pulled it out.
That's eight wins in a row.
Still the question remains, Dick, what does Oscar Arguella - intend to do about third base? - What do we have on Grayson? White Sox third baseman? Who else would I be asking about? This is why my dad didn't hire me at his firm.
He said I asked too many stupid questions.
- Grayson stats.
- I'm sorry.
Uh Yeah, yeah.
Grayson's good with the glove, but his offensive WAR is negative two and that's MIT Ross's number.
Oscar: All right, it's Dom Cristiello or bust.
- He's a good corner man.
- Problem is, Angels won't deal with me.
Payback for signing Livan Duarte.
I still can't believe Evelyn threw me out for the night.
Hovering over your computer, refreshing FoxSports.
com every five minutes, that'll do it.
I'm trying to block out the noise, but we both know with that new guy in the front office, anything is possible.
Yeah.
Can't trust a guy who bikes to work.
(phone vibrating) Oh no, come on.
Don't let me cramp - your style.
- No, man.
It's not you.
It's just not in the mood.
What's her name? - What are you talking about? - You wouldn't pass up available talent if there wasn't a reason that had a name and a few curves.
Cleveland's not that bad.
I mean who knows, You might start palling around with LeBron.
Huh.
If it's a secret, that must mean it's somebody of consequence.
- Beer? - If it's a secret from me, then that must mean the consequence is close to home.
Okay, so I know it's not Ginny, 'cause even you're not - that crazy.
- (exhales) But if the consequence is Ginny-adjacent - Her agent? - You know what's fun? The Rock & Roll Hall of Fame.
You should check that out, too, - while you're there.
- Wait, hold on.
You can keep talking about Cleveland all you want.
That's not gonna change the fact that you're sleeping with Ginny's agent.
(sighs) You happy, Sherlock? Have you told Ginny? No, it's none of her business.
Amelia and I are both single over 18.
Not a big deal.
Come on.
- Well, then why haven't you told Ginny? - I don't know.
So what am I supposed to do now? I can't keep secrets from Evelyn.
And you know Evelyn can't keep a secret from Ginny.
She can't even keep a secret, period.
I didn't want to talk about it.
Remember I kept changing the subject? Listen.
Whatever it is that you and Amelia are doing, you got to tell Ginny, bro.
Because you know it's gonna get out.
And it'd be a lot better for everybody if she hears it from you.
You want to make sure you twist it very tight.
Thanks for letting me hang here tonight.
Of course.
You know you're one of the family.
I don't know why I'm so worried.
The Padres without Blip is like Destiny's Child without Beyoncé.
Mm.
I love my husband, but he's no Queen B.
I mean Kelly Rowland maybe? Okay, but you get my point.
(laughs) Look, even if God forbid Blip is traded, we'd still see each other.
I know you mean that, but things happen.
(door opens, closes) Oh, well look who's home, my very own Bey.
(laughter) (phone chimes) Not you, honey.
Alfonso Guzman-Chavez.
The Orioles traded him to the Braves.
(Evelyn groans) - What's the problem? - Okay, so, there's a chance the Padres could trade you, but it doesn't mean they will, right? Right? Oscar hasn't said anything to you, has he? - No.
- Evelyn: What's going on? What does Alfonso Guzman-Chavez have to do with this? We're fine.
Okay? We're good.
And you haven't heard anything from your agent.
I don't want to talk about this right now.
I mean, just because it could happen doesn't mean it will Ginny! This isn't your life.
It's mine.
Now any minute now I might have to wake my boys up and tell them that we're saying good-bye to the only home they've ever known.
I just don't have it in me to make you feel okay.
(door opens, closes) You should probably go.
Yeah.
(exhales) I'm sorry, Ev.
(knocking on door) Hey, Gin.
I want to show you a couple of these mockups.
(clears throat) Everything okay? I think the Padres might trade Blip.
- He's good.
- Yeah, he is.
He's really good.
That's why they might deal him.
They could get a lot for him.
Not if you tell them you don't want them to.
That's not exactly how it works.
Actually it is.
I used to see this with my actresses all the time.
(opens fridge) You can't be scared to ask for what you want.
You know why Clooney got to direct? (pops top) 'Cause he asked.
- So you think I should - Right now And this is no disrespect to your teammates You are the Padres.
I know how much Blip and Evelyn mean to you, and if he makes your life better, makes the team better, you don't just ask for what you want.
You demand it.
And they'll respect you all the more for doing so.
- Should we, uh, try the Angels GM again? - You know, Ross, making a deal is like dating.
You don't want to seem too desperate.
Well, for what it's worth, my best move is to call the girl over and over again until she finally agrees to have dinner with me Uh-oh.
- How you doing boys? - Good.
Hey, did you, uh - find me a third baseman yet? - Uh, no, not yet.
Turns out, there is a limit of available players at that spot.
So, uh, we're working on it.
- Ticktock, Clarice.
- Yeah.
Call the Angels.
Angels GM: You're persistent.
I'll give you that, Oscar.
Come on.
What's it going to take for me to get Dom Cristiello? I'll make it quick.
Give me Livan Duarte, you get my third baseman.
- You know I can't do that.
- See? Quick.
(dial tone drones) You know, my buddy in Chicago says the Angels are also talking to the Cubs.
The Cubs don't need a third basemen.
They need a setup guy.
So, what's holding up the deal? What do the Angels need that the Cubs won't give up? Rhonda: Oscar, I'm sorry to bother you.
She says it's urgent.
- Hi.
- Sorry, I know it's a crazy day for you guys.
- Yeah, just a little.
- It won't take longer than a minute.
I know this might be out of line, - but I need to.
- Ginny.
- I need - Ginny.
I can't say that we wouldn't trade you.
I can't say that to a player unless they have no-trade, which you don't.
But if I trade you now, they'd send me packing with you.
I'm-I'm not coming about me.
With all the butts I put in the seats, with all the Ginny Baker jerseys you sell.
- Wow.
- I'm never gonna have more leverage than I do right now, so Blip Sanders needs to stay on this team.
Every time I step on the mound, I know he's got my back.
Ginny I-I cannot discuss roster with you.
Okay, what about his family? His family? His seven-year-old twins whose lives will be turned upside down without warning (chuckles softly) Blip's a baseball player.
We pay boatloads of money to baseball players to essentially play a kid's game.
And in exchange, we get the power to uproot them and their families so they can play a kid's game for boatloads of money somewhere else.
And after a few years, thanks to collective bargaining, they can become free agents.
And then they can decide to uproot their families for boatloads of money themselves.
That's how it works.
- But the fans - Oh, you're gonna tell me what the fans want? I know what they want.
Same thing as the owners.
They want to win.
Same as your teammates.
Because they would trade you, and their best friend if it meant a ring for them.
That's how this works.
- Thank you for your time.
- Uh-huh.
Hey, Ginny.
You're right.
Out of line.
- (clicks) Rhonda.
- Yes? Give me the Cubs front office on the phone and get Ross back in here and tell him I know what the Angels need.
A center fielder.
You're not thinking about trading Blip, are you? (elevator bell dings) You and I Will be young forever You make me feel like I'm living - A teenage dream - (turns radio off) Dad, that's our pump-up song.
You're all pumped up enough.
(falsetto): Don't ever look back.
(laughter) Sorry, I was I'm really excited! It's a big game.
- Is your dad really coming? - He really is.
He swore on a stack of Racing Forms.
- That's his bible.
- (chuckles) (cheering and applause) (whooping) (cheering, whooping continues) (announcer speaks indistinctly over speakers) (line ringing) Ray: This is the Collins residence.
You know what to do.
(line beeps) Hey, Ray, it's, uh, Bill, Ginny's dad.
I'm here at the game, watching your son play his heart out.
I know you're a busy man, but it would mean the world to your kid if you could be here.
(line beeps) (announcer speaks indistinctly on TV) (woman speaks indistinctly) Hey, Ray, it's, uh, Bill, Ginny's dad.
I'm here at the game, watching your son play his heart out.
I know you're a busy man, but it would mean the world to your kid if you could be here.
(line beeps) - (line ringing) - (tires squealing) (recording): You have one new message.
Jordan: Dad, I'm here at the field.
Are you coming or not? (line clicks) (tires screech) (tires squealing) (crash, sustained horn honking) (siren whoops, indistinct radio transmission) (distant siren wailing) - I've got the Cubs on line one.
- (door closes) - Hey.
- Cubs GM: What's up, Oscar? I hear you're looking for a setup guy.
What about Gordon? You just got him.
What's wrong with him? Nothing.
He threw two shutout innings for us yesterday, but I need a center fielder.
I'm thinking Steve Hale.
You've got Blip Sanders.
I need another one.
I want more than Gordon for Hale.
(knocking on door) Come in.
Hey.
How are you? I'm okay.
- Did you hear anything? - No, not yet.
I'm sorry about last night.
No, you had every right.
It's not your job to make me feel better.
Would you mind if, uh just hang out in here, just kind of wait out the next ten minutes? Of course.
Mike's jokes about Cleveland are getting old.
(knuckles cracking) Oscar: Now, you know I can't do two-for-one.
I How about a left-handed reliever? - You've got yourself a deal.
- Thank you.
Get the Angels front office on the line.
(phone dialing) (phone chimes) What's that? Your wife just made a move on Words With Friends.
I need to change my alerts.
Oh (clicks tongue) Angels GM: We're in if you are.
All right, it's a done Hold on.
Puts us $250K over budget.
If you kick in $300 grand to cover what I'm getting back from the Cubs, it's a deal.
(mouthing) Done.
- Thank you.
- Yes! (all cheering) (laughing) (whooping) Rhonda, make a note.
That's the Ross I like.
Ten seconds.
You're staying.
(chuckles) (sighs) Let's go.
(chuckles) Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey - Hey - (chuckles) (chuckling): Hey, I just heard the news.
- Congratulations.
- Thank you.
Told you.
- No limits.
- No limits.
- All right.
Get over here.
- All right.
All right, now it's on to the waiver wire.
- Sorry? - Yeah, well, when you're done celebrating, come up to my office.
(whispers): We're not done dealing.
- What? - Yeah, we got a Cuban catcher in Triple-A tearing it up.
We need to make some room.
No, uh, Lawson has a no-trade clause.
Which is why you have to figure out how to make it his idea.
- I think I need a root canal.
- Yeah.
And I don't know if you've all heard, but Butch Hunter's been traded again.
I think you're having a case of déjà vu, sir.
The Cubs just shipped him.
- Where'd he end up? - Well, he was part of the Dom Cristiello three-way, so he's right back where he belongs.
(cheering and applause) Welcome back, Butch.
(Ginny laughing) He's back.
Tommy, your boy's back.
They sent him to the Cubs about 15 minutes ago.
Mike: Amelia.
Hey.
I, uh, bought you another gift.
- Are you kidding me? - No, it's the, um - (clears throat) it's a Superflow.
- (laughing) It's the best mouth guard I could find.
Actually, my clubby bought it.
You know, my night guard's custom made.
They take X-rays, make a mold of my mouth.
It's, like, a whole thing.
- Oh, so - Which is why I started carrying it with me so that I don't have to rush back to my place to sleep at night.
I think there's something we should do.
Yeah, I was thinking the same thing.
You can do what you want to do - You know, JLo was a Fly Girl.
- What? Are you letting them watch that? - You know they're only seven.
- And a half.
Take it from me Hey! Y'all are in for a treat in a couple years.
- (clears throat) - Okay, five or six years.
That's right.
'Cause homie don't play that.
(laughing) Quick, turn it back on.
Hey, Mon! Announcer: It's time again for another episode of "Hey Mon," with the hardest working West Indian family, the Hedleys.
(applause) Amelia: Hey, Gin, wait up.
- I need to talk to you.
- What's up? You're using your serious voice.
Nothing serious.
(chuckles nervously) I just wanted to let you know that Mike Lawson and I have been seeing each other, just for a few weeks.
Oh.
Um, okay.
I just I wanted you to know.
Yeah, sure.
It's your personal life.
It's your business.
If you're happy, I'm happy.
It's not a big deal, but I didn't want you to find out from anybody else.
Sure.
- I got to get dressed for the game.
- Okay.
(chuckling): Okay.
(phone buzzing)
None of the GMs can know where I'm going.
We were just wondering where Oscar is.
Oh, it's an abscessed tooth.
- That was a lie, right? - Bold-faced.
Maxine, I am never going to go along with this.
Well, we are gonna miss you around here.
My kid wants a try out.
Really? We're kind of in the middle of something Just let her throw a few.
Let's go, I'm buying.
I'm gonna call it early tonight, boys.
I guess you could come.
Well, since you're begging me, Tommy.
- We need to be more careful.
- Relax.
I'm not gonna say anything.
Although, I don't know why.
- Ginny's a big girl.
- She's had your poster on her wall.
Nolan: For the next two days, guys in Major League front offices will be sweating as much as the guys on the field.
Half the GMs are scrambling to find the missing pieces they need to make a playoff run while the other half are holding fire sales hoping to restock their pipelines with prospects.
And they all have armies of guys who dream of being Jonah Hill.
And not Wolf of Wall Street Jonah Hill, with the hookers, the coke and the veneers, but Moneyball Jonah Hill, with the algorithms and the donuts.
- All right, gentlemen - Meanwhile, the players, - you know, the human beings - we have 48 hours.
Whose lives are turned upside down when they're shipped from one city to another, try to focus on the only thing they have control over, playing baseball.
Enberg (on radio): The Padres are down to their final out.
Blip Sanders tying run there at first base.
The pitch.
Lawson swings.
He got all of it.
It's heading up the gap.
Sanders rounds third.
He comes in and scores.
The ball skips by the catcher's mitt, and Mike Lawson, they're gonna send him home! He slides head first! Safe! Six in a row.
Oh, my.
And Lawson is being mobbed at home plate.
They're trying to resuscitate that dude.
Remind me to hit it over the fence next time.
I'm getting too old for inside the park home runs.
Blip: Don't get carried away.
That was a double with two errors.
Who died and made you official scorer? Butch: Hey, Baker, sorry I cost you a W.
As long as we get the win and runs are charged to you, not me.
Catching on, grasshopper.
You taught me well.
Hey, Butch, what's with the bag? Did you hear something? Butch: Oh, no, but this time of year got to be ready.
I learned the hard way.
You don't want to end up in Kansas City with just floss and one pair of boxers.
- You can disappear like that.
- Like the rapture.
- Nothing left but your cleats.
- Mike: Baker, but you can relax.
You're the biggest story in baseball, you're not going anywhere.
Relax says the man with no-trade clause.
That's right, 'cause your ass isn't going anywhere either.
Well, tell that to Ken Rosenthal on MLB.
Did Ken Rosenthal say something about you being traded? Blip was on a list with like a hundred other players who the Cubs might be targeting.
And that's all? - Yeah, it was nothing.
- Mike: I remember my first deadline.
I couldn't sleep for a week.
Oh, here we go.
Grandpa story time.
Somebody get him a pipe and some ear hair.
Oh, wait, hold on.
- No, all he needs is the pipe.
- (laughter) That's funny.
Well, now you don't get the story.
- You want it now, don't you? - Damn it, I do.
Come on, give me the story, bro.
How do you do that? - Hey, Baker, you're not going anywhere.
- Yeah, but what about these guys? (low, indistinct chatter) Hey, put your phones down.
Phones down.
That means you, too, Tommy Tough Nuts.
Put your phone down.
Look, if one of you were getting traded you'd hear it from the GM, not Twitter.
And I'm not gonna lie, these next two days are gonna be rough, but guess what? We just won six in a row, and the Giants and the Dodgers hear footsteps.
So, I'm thinking, like it or not, I'm gonna be seeing all your ugly mugs right here tomorrow.
Even you Javanes, with that beautifully manicured goatee.
How does he do that anyway? Do you, like, - groom between innings? - (laughter) (indistinct chatter) (chatter stops) Don't mind me, just passing through.
I take that back.
One of you is a goner.
Have no fear.
Great win today, Al.
Those guys are gonna give me a heart attack, - but they're getting it done.
- Yeah.
So are we just on a lucky roll, or is this team for real? Oh, could be.
- Need a few more pieces.
- (groans) - You okay? - Yeah, just a toothache.
Mm.
I know our shopping list.
Setup guy, utility infielder - and a corner man who can hit.
- Sounds about right.
But tough to pull off.
Al, look me in the eye.
If I get you these players, are we in the playoff hunt? You have unusually long eyelashes.
Uh, it's from my mother.
Ah.
You get me those players, we're contenders.
Does our new president of baseball operations know about this sudden change of plans? I'm not sure he remembers my name.
Oscar, Oscar, Oscar.
(chuckling): No, get over here.
Okay.
- Hi.
All right.
- Oh.
(grunts) Listen, the move from Palo Alto's been a bitch.
Sorry I haven't had a chance to sit down.
Do you have a minute now? Yeah.
How come nobody told me how much I was gonna love it here? I mean, running on the beach, the Gaslamp District, Comic Con.
I mean who doesn't love cosplay, right? But let's face it, you're not here to listen to me give you a San Diego booster speech.
You got 44 hours to the trade deadline.
You want to make some moves.
And I'm thinking we need to be buyers.
Ambitious.
I like it.
Do you think ownership will be supportive? Maxine's given me carte blanche to do whatever I think is best for the team, - That's great.
- Which is why during your shopping spree, you cannot give up any of our top prospects.
That includes Levine - That's Livan.
- Livan.
And the kid from Tennessee.
They're off the table.
And you're gonna need to cut at least $2 million from the payroll.
(soft chuckle) No, those-those two mandates are at cross purposes.
I know.
But it's like, you know when people say, "Sky's the limit"? They're really limiting themselves.
I mean, look at everything you've done in your life.
You grew up in the poorest section of Mexico City.
You made it to the major leagues.
You retired.
You became a scout, and then you became a lawyer.
And now, not only are you one of three Latino GMs in the league, you're also the best dressed.
(chuckles) Your whole life is a can-do story, Oscar.
There is no limit to what you can do.
Is there? There's still a chance.
You can still win this, even though you're in second place.
Come on.
- Spin her out.
- No.
- Gabriel: Oh, yeah.
- (Ginny chuckles) Verdict? Baby, this is your best risotto yet.
Pfft.
You say that every time.
It's 'cause you keep getting better and better.
- And I keep getting more scared of you.
- Yo, hey! Dinner's almost ready! Oh, yeah! Chalk up another victory for Aunt Ginny.
Wha I mean, I-I got lucky.
You'll get me next time.
You don't want me to start doing the thing where I let you win, do you? - No.
- Yes.
Blip: Psst.
You know they're only seven right? - And a half.
- It's your turn to set the table.
- Again? - Oh, yeah! Yeah.
(chuckling): Oh, yeah.
(Ginny laughs) - You're not gonna help? - Help? I got you in here, didn't I? (phone chimes) (Evelyn gasps) The house in San Elijo just came back on the market.
Mm, the one with the basketball court? - Yes.
- Wow.
And the huge walk-in closets, three blocks from the twins' school.
Look at that kitchen.
- Look at that yard.
- Wow.
The price dropped by 50 grand.
Baby, I cannot think about buying a new house right now, especially two days away from the trade deadline.
Is this about the FiveThirtyEight story? Wait, there's a story about me in FiveThirtyEight? Babe, you have nothing to worry about.
You're an all-star player with a team-friendly contract.
Yeah, you're not going anywhere.
I am a baseball player without a no-trade clause.
Nothing's written in stone.
But, I mean, you can't move.
You're the only real friends I have.
Hey, Gin, this is Jordan Collins, our new second baseman.
Just moved in from Charlotte.
Why don't you take him through the warmup drills? Um First we're tossing, and then after tossing, we do some running.
And after running, you're probably gonna throw up.
(chuckles) I know what you're gonna say.
Heard it all before.
You throw like a boy, you run like a boy.
(chuckles) I won't hold it against you.
Whoa.
Jordan Collins, you can throw.
Never underestimate the powers of the handicapped.
Um, I didn't.
You never seen In Living Color? - Can't say I have.
- You should see the show.
Bring over my DVDs someday after practice.
Don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not about dating my teammates.
Don't take this the wrong way, but neither am I.
How are you about making friends? (exhales) I started off slow, but I found my rhythm.
Finally got in the zone.
(chuckles) Are you doing color? Post-game wrap.
Ah.
I was about to get to you.
High marks.
I'm honored.
Leaving so soon? I can't sleep here.
- Who said we were sleeping? - I got to get back.
I left my night guard at my place.
Your night guard? If I don't sleep with it, I get a sore jaw and a migraine.
(chuckles) Night guard, huh? Well, that's a long way to go for an excuse not to stay.
Sorry.
Was I supposed to get all weak in the knees because you wanted me to stay? I'll walk you to your car.
(Mike grunts, Amelia chuckles) (car alarm beeps) - What the hell? - Mike: Oh, come on.
- Not again.
- Again? - You know who did this? - Man, I hate this groupie on groupie crime.
Did you just call me a groupie? No.
No.
No, no.
I meant groupie on you, an accomplished woman who's clearly not a groupie, crime.
It-It just came out Don't hurt yourself.
Come on, Amelia.
Amelia? - Wow.
- Amel Wha I (sighs) Careful changing lanes without your side mirrors.
Oscar: We just flipped Butch Hunter to the Cardinals for Omar Robles and a player to be named.
(cheering, whooping) Butch (softly): Yes.
Oscar: One down, two to go.
Congratulations on the Robles trade.
Thank you.
Payroll's still a little high.
Yeah, I still have 39 hours.
Eh, 38 hours and 51 minutes, - but, uh, who's counting right? - (chuckling) All right, have a good night and remember no limits.
- No limits! - All right.
(door closes) Except the budget.
The two favorites have to be Texas and the Dodgers.
That was an absolute debacle.
And part of the reason that happened was because rumors, right? People tweet about (TV turns off) (phone ringing) - Hello? - Hey, Eliot.
You have a fantasy baseball team, right? The "Who's Your Papis.
" We're tied for third place right now, but after this weekend You don't actually care, do you? You have Blip on your team, right? And just so you know, I would've drafted you, but my keeper - was a pitcher and - It's okay.
It's okay.
There are just a lot of rumors out there, so I was just wondering: is there any way the Padres would trade Blip? (sighs) An All-Star center fielder with a multiyear, affordable contract? - Doubtful.
- But not impossible.
I guess if the Padres could get a cheap young guy in a position they need more, like third base.
Like Dom Cristiello.
Wait, hold on.
Okay, there's a rumor that the Angels might be looking to trade Cristiello for a catcher who can hit, like the Braves' Chase.
But according to traderumors.
com, the Braves aren't looking to rent.
So, the only way Chase moves is if they were to get a young starting pitcher like Baltimore's Alfonso Guzman-Chavez.
And the Orioles aren't looking to part with their ace.
I have no idea what you just said.
Do I have to worry about Blip leaving? I'll make it easy for you.
As long as Alfonso Guzman-Chavez stays an Oriole, Blip stays a Padre.
Alfonso Guzman-Chavez stays an Oriole.
Great.
Thanks.
So, what pitchers do you have on your team? Don't tell me you have Sonny and not me.
His WHIP is really good.
(phone line clicks) Hello? The guys on the team, this has happened to me.
You know, I played in Florida for a long time and I It's hot in here.
(laughter) Oh, then there's Pretty Woman.
Both: Hated it.
(both laughing) This show's so wrong.
That's why it's funny.
It's getting late.
Oh, my dad should be here any minute.
Well, Ginny's got an early morning bullpen, so she needs to go to bed soon.
Why don't I take you home, son? I mean, he's He's probably on his way.
(sighs) I'm sorry, Mr.
Baker.
Your father's a busy man.
Working, raising you all by himself.
I get it.
Yeah, he is.
Still, I hope he can come see one of your games.
You've been raking.
He's not as big a baseball fan as you are.
(engine turns off) Looks like this is my stop.
Ray: Jordo.
Thanks.
Everything okay, Dad? Everything's fine.
(engine starts) No, thank you.
Call me when you're ready to talk Barnes.
Here you go.
- What's that? - You're going to the dentist.
- No, I'm not.
- You have an abscessed tooth.
Yeah, thanks to you.
You jinxed me.
It's not going away on its own and Dr.
Gerard can see you now.
He said it won't take long.
(sighs) Okay, but I need an analytics guy to come with him.
Grab Ross.
First name Ross or last name Ross? You know the one I like.
Your car's here.
- Oh, my car's in the shop.
- This was left here for you.
Mike: Oh, what a surprise.
You got me a car? (chuckling): It's a loaner.
I'm part owner of a dealership, so we get 'em for free, but I made sure that yours was completely loaded.
Shaker HD radio, cross-traffic alert.
- Mm.
- It's the least I could do.
Just a little tip from a professional.
Don't apologize for calling me a groupie by treating me like one.
I was making sure that you had something to drive while your car was in the shop.
Unlike most of the women that you sleep with, I'm solvent and old enough to rent my own car.
You could just say thank you.
Sir, I-I just want to say what an honor it is to be here.
W-Who's next on the list of possible relievers? Uh, uh, uh, Gordon from Seattle.
- All right, get me Fishman in Seattle.
- Okay.
Do you have the number? (line dialing) Yeah, I had my wisdom teeth out last year.
- (line ringing) - It-it really wasn't that bad.
I, uh I used tea bags to keep down the swelling.
Did you go to MIT or Cal Tech? Uh, Camarillo Junior College.
My dad's friends with Maxine.
- (line continues ringing) - Is your first name Ross? Oh, you wanted Jake Ross, didn't you? Fishman: Oscar, what can I do for you? Word is you're looking for a DH.
I have a first baseman with a .
479 slugging percentage.
Han for Gordon, what do you think? Who are you gonna put on first? We're moving Weidner from third.
- Then who's playing third? - Not your worry.
Come on.
Let's trade our players, and their contracts, and get on with our lives.
Fine, Gordon's yours.
All right.
Han's on the first plane to Seattle.
(call ends) Yes! All right.
We have a reliever and we trimmed $2 million off the payroll.
So who's gonna play third for us tonight? You know, don't take this the wrong way, but you're a bit of a killjoy, Ross.
Let me know if your guy hears anything else about when and if those pictures are gonna to drop.
- Still quiet, so far.
- (sighs) Let's hope it stays that way.
I also need you to return this to Lawson Auto Gallery.
- Uh, the one in Carlsbad? - Whichever one's closest.
Okay.
You can stop playing dumb.
I know that you know about me and Mike.
Okay? You didn't know about me and Mike? Okay.
I mean, not that there's really anything to know, but thanks to some D-level groupie who took out her frustration on my car and Mike's absurd attempts to make amends, I need you to take this car back to the dealership ASAP.
Okay, the groupie was probably more of like an A-level groupie.
Yeah.
You know, Mike may be a womanizer, but he has good taste.
(chuckling): Obviously.
And we're two consenting adults.
It's been a lonely couple of years and he makes me laugh.
I mean, I really don't see what the problem is or frankly, why this is any of your business.
I don't know.
(sighs) Of course, you cannot breathe a word about this to anybody, especially Ginny.
Hey, like a lot of you, uh, I'm gonna miss Butch, and, uh, not 'cause with him gone I'm now the oldest one on the team.
But, uh happy travels, Butch.
Hey, Tommy, you're gonna have to find somebody else to beat at MLB 16.
AL: All right, listen up.
I want you to all welcome Omar Robles.
And, uh, I don't know if you've all heard, but, uh, Butch Hunter's been traded.
- Yeah, we noticed.
- No, I mean he's been traded again.
St.
Louis sent him to Chicago.
I wish I had that guy's frequent flyer miles.
You bring your third base glove? No, sir.
I never played third before.
Hope you're a fast learner.
Over here.
(sighs) How 'bout we take some, uh, quality time away from all these trade rumors.
What were you thinking? Never stop, never quit Never stop, never quit Never stop, never quit Never stop, never quit Never stop, never quit - (breathing heavily) - Never stop, never quit Never stop, never quit (panting) I'm gonna miss that S.
O.
B.
Yeah.
No one belts Blake Shelton songs like Butch.
(exhales) You know, the worst part is our kids are like best friends.
Jordan: Hey.
To NC State's new pitching phenom.
It's not that big a deal.
You got yourself a free ride to college.
That's a big deal.
I just wish you were coming.
Ah.
It is what it is.
My dad doesn't have the money and I don't have your arm.
You just have to promise, while you're leading the wolf pack to the College World Series, you won't forget about me.
That's not gonna happen.
I moved around.
I know how these things go.
No I meant the wolf pack isn't making the College World Series.
I'm definitely gonna forget you.
- (chuckles softly) - (laughs) Definitely.
(sniffs) There he is.
What's up, big man? Ginny, this is my wife Tessa Hi.
And this is Jimmy.
- Go on, say hi.
- (phone vibrating) Sorry, excuse me.
There's a rumor that Cleveland's asking about Blip.
Enberg: Well, somehow the Padres pulled it out.
That's eight wins in a row.
Still the question remains, Dick, what does Oscar Arguella - intend to do about third base? - What do we have on Grayson? White Sox third baseman? Who else would I be asking about? This is why my dad didn't hire me at his firm.
He said I asked too many stupid questions.
- Grayson stats.
- I'm sorry.
Uh Yeah, yeah.
Grayson's good with the glove, but his offensive WAR is negative two and that's MIT Ross's number.
Oscar: All right, it's Dom Cristiello or bust.
- He's a good corner man.
- Problem is, Angels won't deal with me.
Payback for signing Livan Duarte.
I still can't believe Evelyn threw me out for the night.
Hovering over your computer, refreshing FoxSports.
com every five minutes, that'll do it.
I'm trying to block out the noise, but we both know with that new guy in the front office, anything is possible.
Yeah.
Can't trust a guy who bikes to work.
(phone vibrating) Oh no, come on.
Don't let me cramp - your style.
- No, man.
It's not you.
It's just not in the mood.
What's her name? - What are you talking about? - You wouldn't pass up available talent if there wasn't a reason that had a name and a few curves.
Cleveland's not that bad.
I mean who knows, You might start palling around with LeBron.
Huh.
If it's a secret, that must mean it's somebody of consequence.
- Beer? - If it's a secret from me, then that must mean the consequence is close to home.
Okay, so I know it's not Ginny, 'cause even you're not - that crazy.
- (exhales) But if the consequence is Ginny-adjacent - Her agent? - You know what's fun? The Rock & Roll Hall of Fame.
You should check that out, too, - while you're there.
- Wait, hold on.
You can keep talking about Cleveland all you want.
That's not gonna change the fact that you're sleeping with Ginny's agent.
(sighs) You happy, Sherlock? Have you told Ginny? No, it's none of her business.
Amelia and I are both single over 18.
Not a big deal.
Come on.
- Well, then why haven't you told Ginny? - I don't know.
So what am I supposed to do now? I can't keep secrets from Evelyn.
And you know Evelyn can't keep a secret from Ginny.
She can't even keep a secret, period.
I didn't want to talk about it.
Remember I kept changing the subject? Listen.
Whatever it is that you and Amelia are doing, you got to tell Ginny, bro.
Because you know it's gonna get out.
And it'd be a lot better for everybody if she hears it from you.
You want to make sure you twist it very tight.
Thanks for letting me hang here tonight.
Of course.
You know you're one of the family.
I don't know why I'm so worried.
The Padres without Blip is like Destiny's Child without Beyoncé.
Mm.
I love my husband, but he's no Queen B.
I mean Kelly Rowland maybe? Okay, but you get my point.
(laughs) Look, even if God forbid Blip is traded, we'd still see each other.
I know you mean that, but things happen.
(door opens, closes) Oh, well look who's home, my very own Bey.
(laughter) (phone chimes) Not you, honey.
Alfonso Guzman-Chavez.
The Orioles traded him to the Braves.
(Evelyn groans) - What's the problem? - Okay, so, there's a chance the Padres could trade you, but it doesn't mean they will, right? Right? Oscar hasn't said anything to you, has he? - No.
- Evelyn: What's going on? What does Alfonso Guzman-Chavez have to do with this? We're fine.
Okay? We're good.
And you haven't heard anything from your agent.
I don't want to talk about this right now.
I mean, just because it could happen doesn't mean it will Ginny! This isn't your life.
It's mine.
Now any minute now I might have to wake my boys up and tell them that we're saying good-bye to the only home they've ever known.
I just don't have it in me to make you feel okay.
(door opens, closes) You should probably go.
Yeah.
(exhales) I'm sorry, Ev.
(knocking on door) Hey, Gin.
I want to show you a couple of these mockups.
(clears throat) Everything okay? I think the Padres might trade Blip.
- He's good.
- Yeah, he is.
He's really good.
That's why they might deal him.
They could get a lot for him.
Not if you tell them you don't want them to.
That's not exactly how it works.
Actually it is.
I used to see this with my actresses all the time.
(opens fridge) You can't be scared to ask for what you want.
You know why Clooney got to direct? (pops top) 'Cause he asked.
- So you think I should - Right now And this is no disrespect to your teammates You are the Padres.
I know how much Blip and Evelyn mean to you, and if he makes your life better, makes the team better, you don't just ask for what you want.
You demand it.
And they'll respect you all the more for doing so.
- Should we, uh, try the Angels GM again? - You know, Ross, making a deal is like dating.
You don't want to seem too desperate.
Well, for what it's worth, my best move is to call the girl over and over again until she finally agrees to have dinner with me Uh-oh.
- How you doing boys? - Good.
Hey, did you, uh - find me a third baseman yet? - Uh, no, not yet.
Turns out, there is a limit of available players at that spot.
So, uh, we're working on it.
- Ticktock, Clarice.
- Yeah.
Call the Angels.
Angels GM: You're persistent.
I'll give you that, Oscar.
Come on.
What's it going to take for me to get Dom Cristiello? I'll make it quick.
Give me Livan Duarte, you get my third baseman.
- You know I can't do that.
- See? Quick.
(dial tone drones) You know, my buddy in Chicago says the Angels are also talking to the Cubs.
The Cubs don't need a third basemen.
They need a setup guy.
So, what's holding up the deal? What do the Angels need that the Cubs won't give up? Rhonda: Oscar, I'm sorry to bother you.
She says it's urgent.
- Hi.
- Sorry, I know it's a crazy day for you guys.
- Yeah, just a little.
- It won't take longer than a minute.
I know this might be out of line, - but I need to.
- Ginny.
- I need - Ginny.
I can't say that we wouldn't trade you.
I can't say that to a player unless they have no-trade, which you don't.
But if I trade you now, they'd send me packing with you.
I'm-I'm not coming about me.
With all the butts I put in the seats, with all the Ginny Baker jerseys you sell.
- Wow.
- I'm never gonna have more leverage than I do right now, so Blip Sanders needs to stay on this team.
Every time I step on the mound, I know he's got my back.
Ginny I-I cannot discuss roster with you.
Okay, what about his family? His family? His seven-year-old twins whose lives will be turned upside down without warning (chuckles softly) Blip's a baseball player.
We pay boatloads of money to baseball players to essentially play a kid's game.
And in exchange, we get the power to uproot them and their families so they can play a kid's game for boatloads of money somewhere else.
And after a few years, thanks to collective bargaining, they can become free agents.
And then they can decide to uproot their families for boatloads of money themselves.
That's how it works.
- But the fans - Oh, you're gonna tell me what the fans want? I know what they want.
Same thing as the owners.
They want to win.
Same as your teammates.
Because they would trade you, and their best friend if it meant a ring for them.
That's how this works.
- Thank you for your time.
- Uh-huh.
Hey, Ginny.
You're right.
Out of line.
- (clicks) Rhonda.
- Yes? Give me the Cubs front office on the phone and get Ross back in here and tell him I know what the Angels need.
A center fielder.
You're not thinking about trading Blip, are you? (elevator bell dings) You and I Will be young forever You make me feel like I'm living - A teenage dream - (turns radio off) Dad, that's our pump-up song.
You're all pumped up enough.
(falsetto): Don't ever look back.
(laughter) Sorry, I was I'm really excited! It's a big game.
- Is your dad really coming? - He really is.
He swore on a stack of Racing Forms.
- That's his bible.
- (chuckles) (cheering and applause) (whooping) (cheering, whooping continues) (announcer speaks indistinctly over speakers) (line ringing) Ray: This is the Collins residence.
You know what to do.
(line beeps) Hey, Ray, it's, uh, Bill, Ginny's dad.
I'm here at the game, watching your son play his heart out.
I know you're a busy man, but it would mean the world to your kid if you could be here.
(line beeps) (announcer speaks indistinctly on TV) (woman speaks indistinctly) Hey, Ray, it's, uh, Bill, Ginny's dad.
I'm here at the game, watching your son play his heart out.
I know you're a busy man, but it would mean the world to your kid if you could be here.
(line beeps) - (line ringing) - (tires squealing) (recording): You have one new message.
Jordan: Dad, I'm here at the field.
Are you coming or not? (line clicks) (tires screech) (tires squealing) (crash, sustained horn honking) (siren whoops, indistinct radio transmission) (distant siren wailing) - I've got the Cubs on line one.
- (door closes) - Hey.
- Cubs GM: What's up, Oscar? I hear you're looking for a setup guy.
What about Gordon? You just got him.
What's wrong with him? Nothing.
He threw two shutout innings for us yesterday, but I need a center fielder.
I'm thinking Steve Hale.
You've got Blip Sanders.
I need another one.
I want more than Gordon for Hale.
(knocking on door) Come in.
Hey.
How are you? I'm okay.
- Did you hear anything? - No, not yet.
I'm sorry about last night.
No, you had every right.
It's not your job to make me feel better.
Would you mind if, uh just hang out in here, just kind of wait out the next ten minutes? Of course.
Mike's jokes about Cleveland are getting old.
(knuckles cracking) Oscar: Now, you know I can't do two-for-one.
I How about a left-handed reliever? - You've got yourself a deal.
- Thank you.
Get the Angels front office on the line.
(phone dialing) (phone chimes) What's that? Your wife just made a move on Words With Friends.
I need to change my alerts.
Oh (clicks tongue) Angels GM: We're in if you are.
All right, it's a done Hold on.
Puts us $250K over budget.
If you kick in $300 grand to cover what I'm getting back from the Cubs, it's a deal.
(mouthing) Done.
- Thank you.
- Yes! (all cheering) (laughing) (whooping) Rhonda, make a note.
That's the Ross I like.
Ten seconds.
You're staying.
(chuckles) (sighs) Let's go.
(chuckles) Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey - Hey - (chuckles) (chuckling): Hey, I just heard the news.
- Congratulations.
- Thank you.
Told you.
- No limits.
- No limits.
- All right.
Get over here.
- All right.
All right, now it's on to the waiver wire.
- Sorry? - Yeah, well, when you're done celebrating, come up to my office.
(whispers): We're not done dealing.
- What? - Yeah, we got a Cuban catcher in Triple-A tearing it up.
We need to make some room.
No, uh, Lawson has a no-trade clause.
Which is why you have to figure out how to make it his idea.
- I think I need a root canal.
- Yeah.
And I don't know if you've all heard, but Butch Hunter's been traded again.
I think you're having a case of déjà vu, sir.
The Cubs just shipped him.
- Where'd he end up? - Well, he was part of the Dom Cristiello three-way, so he's right back where he belongs.
(cheering and applause) Welcome back, Butch.
(Ginny laughing) He's back.
Tommy, your boy's back.
They sent him to the Cubs about 15 minutes ago.
Mike: Amelia.
Hey.
I, uh, bought you another gift.
- Are you kidding me? - No, it's the, um - (clears throat) it's a Superflow.
- (laughing) It's the best mouth guard I could find.
Actually, my clubby bought it.
You know, my night guard's custom made.
They take X-rays, make a mold of my mouth.
It's, like, a whole thing.
- Oh, so - Which is why I started carrying it with me so that I don't have to rush back to my place to sleep at night.
I think there's something we should do.
Yeah, I was thinking the same thing.
You can do what you want to do - You know, JLo was a Fly Girl.
- What? Are you letting them watch that? - You know they're only seven.
- And a half.
Take it from me Hey! Y'all are in for a treat in a couple years.
- (clears throat) - Okay, five or six years.
That's right.
'Cause homie don't play that.
(laughing) Quick, turn it back on.
Hey, Mon! Announcer: It's time again for another episode of "Hey Mon," with the hardest working West Indian family, the Hedleys.
(applause) Amelia: Hey, Gin, wait up.
- I need to talk to you.
- What's up? You're using your serious voice.
Nothing serious.
(chuckles nervously) I just wanted to let you know that Mike Lawson and I have been seeing each other, just for a few weeks.
Oh.
Um, okay.
I just I wanted you to know.
Yeah, sure.
It's your personal life.
It's your business.
If you're happy, I'm happy.
It's not a big deal, but I didn't want you to find out from anybody else.
Sure.
- I got to get dressed for the game.
- Okay.
(chuckling): Okay.
(phone buzzing)