Private Practice s01e05 Episode Script

This isn't good, you being here.
- You want me to take the stairs? - Working together.
I I can't focus.
I can't think.
Really? It's your red hair and your brain.
I am very smart.
I barely notice your incredible breasts or your cellulite-free thighs because your brain is such an immense turn-on to a man as highly evolved as I am.
Yes.
I can see how I might turn you on.
Pete? Pete is your dream guy? Maya, you're gonna be late.
She had a friend spend the night last night, which I would normally never do on a school night, but I'm trying to be the fun parent now so Well, he's not my dream guy, okay? I had a dream about him last night and the night before that and - the night before that.
- Okay.
Maya.
I can do dreams.
It's just that these particular dreams, - they're just making me incredibly - Do not sleep with Pete.
I don't want to sleep with Pete.
My head wants to sleep with Pete.
It's not your head that wants to do the sleeping.
Maya! I'm right here, mom.
God.
Hi, auntie Addison.
This is Ruby.
You didn't how long have you two been standing there? Why? What are you guys talking about? - Shoes.
- Shoes.
Pete.
you guys killed at the millrose games.
Yeah.
I was hoping you could take a look at Nic.
Nic.
She's got a cold.
Doesn't want to see a doctor.
She's afraid taking something will mess her up.
My stride felt off.
I got nothing left at the end.
Nic, this is Pete Wilder.
Pete's the doctor who helped me with my back.
Yeah, I've seen you here.
But it's just a chest cold.
I don't need a doctor.
Pete does holistic medicine.
Maybe I can treat you without meds.
Why don't you stop by later today? We'll see what's going on.
Okay.
Wanna race? You go ahead.
Okay, I think we all have a pretty full day, so let's just, make this one quick, okay? Let me mention quickly that Dell is doing his first solo pap smear today.
- We should all be proud.
- Great.
It's just pap smears.
No big deal.
Don't choke, man, okay? I know it might seem dark and scary - in there, but I - Do not mock the midwife.
Next order of business.
Nicole Clemmons is coming in this afternoon.
The runner? She says she has a cold, but I heard wheezing.
I've ordered some pulmonary function tests at St.
Ambro Why do you look so you look hot.
I do I? No, I mean, you look hot as in flushed overheated.
The next order of business? Let's You're fantasizing about Pete? What? Naomi.
She's a licensed professional.
I do not need professional help.
William Jefferson Clinton.
It's 2010, Bill and Hillary have grown apart.
It's nothing he did.
Just it happens.
We inexplicably run into each other at the Lincoln memorial, and it's very late at night.
My god.
He recognizes something in me, something that makes him feel whole.
Some talk about the Camp David Summit, some chat about how we can't possibly, the secret service is the next thing you know, I have a presidential library in Little Rock, and there's a legendary picture of me and Bill laughing and sharing sections of the "Times," while our child plays under the dinner table and orgasm.
You're really over Allan, aren't you? I got Bill now.
Bill's all I need.
So you don't think about someone real? Bill's real.
Bill is - very real.
- Not Pete real.
Not in the office real.
My point is, whatever helps you scratch the itch is fine.
- I don't do that.
- What? Hello.
Yeah, okay.
I will be right there.
Okay.
I gotta go.
I'll see you later.
She doesn't do that? - If you have any pain, let me know.
- Okay.
A patient of yours is in the E.
R.
Beth Burton.
Somebody broke into her house.
She's hurt.
Her husband just flew in from a business trip.
He'll meet you at the hospital.
Is she gonna be okay, though? It wasn't that bad.
The man I came down the stairs, I saw him there, and he got spooked and took off.
And I tripped and fell into the glass table.
Well, that's a pretty bad cut.
I'm gonna need a C.
T.
Okay, well, I'll call your mom, go check on the kids.
Okay? Okay.
All right.
Pretty frightening.
It could've been so much worse.
Bill.
Bill? - Naomi cannot keep a secret.
- Okay, okay, First of all, who are you to talk? Second of all, did you notice who I wasn't talking about? Allan.
- I'm tellin'ya - Yeah.
I am over the hump.
Were you expecting Allan? 'Cause he's here.
Okay, that's not funny.
You hear me talking about Allan, and you want to mess me up, pap smear boy.
No, Violet, he's here.
Allan's in the lobby here.
Okay.
Okay.
Come here.
You tell him to get lost.
It's like he's got friggin'spidey sense.
Every time the two of you split up, the exact moment you can breathe again Coop.
Al.
Do you have a minute? - You have patients.
- I have patients.
Right.
Yeah.
It's the middle of the work day.
I was just thinking about you.
And another time, maybe.
Good girl.
- Allan, I have a minute.
- You sure? Maya? What's with the stealth call and the hiding? Aren't you girls supposed to be in school? You didn't tell my mom, did you? Not yet.
What's the emergency? It's we think I mean - I think that - Maya totally has a disease.
A disease? What kind of disease? Tell her, Maya.
I'm I'm pretty sure I have gonorrhea.
Private Practice S01E05 In which Addison finds a showerhead John went to go fill out insurance forms.
Well, your C.
T.
is negative.
How you doing? - Cold.
- Yeah.
Okay.
Dr.
Bennett I saw something on the news about this drug.
They said it worked for some Katrina victims.
What kind of drug? It makes you forget what happened.
Is it real? I've never heard of it.
What I went through, I know, wasn't that bad.
But John's away on business a lot, and I'm just afraid I'll never get another good night's sleep.
Okay.
- I'll look into it.
- Please.
And don't tell John.
I don't want him thinking he can never leave me alone again.
Gonorrhea that's the good S.
T.
D.
, right? You just give me some pills, and it's gone? No, I need to do a full pelvic exam.
- But - There's no buts.
I won't know if it's gonorrhea until I check you out.
And I also need to rule out chlamydia.
Besides if you're engaging in sex you need to be getting regular checkups, that's the responsible way to behave.
Although I don't expect you to be responsible at 13, Maya.
Honey, look at me.
Are you are you okay? Did you do this because a boy - are you being pressured because - I'm not a little kid.
Mrs.
Worth is here for her yearly.
This is the one I'm doing, right? This is mine? It's pap time, Dell.
Get papping.
But you don't want to be there? Just ask her if she wants a female chaperone present before you lay a finger on her.
Also relax.
Patients can smell fear.
Keep the speculum warm and tell the patients exactly what you're doing before you do it.
And introduce yourself.
Doctors always forget that.
No, I aced bedside manner.
I'm gonna give a happy pap.
No worries.
Good, good.
Where's Sam? He had to go to the hospital.
And Naomi's in the back? You don't think I need help, right? I don't need help? You're gonna be fine.
I can do it myself.
Hello.
I'm Dell Parker.
- And I'll be doing - No.
Get the checked napkins, the red and white kind.
They told me I was getting a nurse.
I am.
I have my nursing degree, and - and I'm about to be certified as - They sent me a boy nurse.
- I know.
- I just excuse me.
I need to ask if you'd like a female chaperone present for the exam.
No, just do it.
I gotta pick up my daughter from ballet.
All right.
Okay.
I don't know.
He's like 5 years old.
Yeah.
I'll just get this for you.
Okay.
- He just dropped the thing.
- Okay, that happens.
- The thing.
Yeah.
- Okay, let's do this.
You're not gonna use that? No, a new one.
I'm getting a new one.
I'm getting a new one.
Okay, not a happy pap.
Not a happy pap.
Looks like you're working hard.
Even with a cold, this pace should be a piece of cake.
I got an audience.
Just wanted to see Nicole Clemmons run in person once before she's on my Wheaties box.
I've done some marathons.
Nicole, this is Dr.
Charlotte King.
She does marathons.
You should stop.
I just gotta push through.
Bad idea.
Get off.
Stop.
They been in there way too long.
They are not getting back together.
No.
It's good to see you.
Thanks.
Friends.
- What? - Allan he just wants to be friends.
We're having coffee.
Come on, Violet.
You know, sometimes friends can mean just friends.
I mean, look at me and Naomi.
You two are so not friends.
- You guys are more like a corporation.
- A corporation.
We are handling a really tough situation with, - maturity - You know, he he apologized for hurting me.
He just misses our conversations.
Allan always blows in, he makes you feel all good, and then he hurts you worse than the last time, and I pick up the pieces.
Sorry, to interr I need can I get I need to borrow you for a consult.
Gladly.
Get help.
Allan wants to be friends.
That's healthy.
We're moving on.
- We're - No.
If if Cooper doesn't have to listen to it, then neither do I.
Now I have this patient Beth Burton.
She interrupted a robbery in her home, and she's interested in a drug used on post-traumatic stress patients.
Propranolol, - the beta blocker.
- So then it's for real? It's controversial, but yeah, it's real.
It blunts the physical response to the memory consolidation of the trauma.
So then you don't actually forget? It more, lessens the fear and panic when you do remember.
Will you talk to her with me, make sure she's really a candidate? - Yeah, sure.
- All right.
Thank you.
If I were to wear a skirt to have coffee with Allan, would that mean "I want to get with you?" Not that I want that.
I'm asking because I don't.
Little Maya.
Little sweet, innocent Maya.
From the christmas card and the onesie with the pacifier and the drool sweet, innocent drool and god knows where that's been now.
Why me? Why did Maya have to come to me? Poor Naomi.
I just ran an S.
T.
D.
Test on her 13 year old.
I mean, how do I tell her that? California has strict patient confidentiality laws, - especially for minors.
- I know.
But how can I keep something like this from Sam and Naomi? She's everything to them.
Maya doesn't need for you to tell her parents.
What she needs is someone she can trust.
Maya could use a friend right now.
So you be her friend, Addison.
You give her what her parents can't.
Nicole, you have severe bronchospasm.
Your oxygen levels are dropping dangerously low when you run.
You'll need inhaled steroids and continuous neb.
I can't use those.
I have national championships coming up.
Look, I know you want to stick with herbs, but at this point, you have no choice.
You cannot compete again until you get this under control.
What? If you listen to Dr.
Wilder, let him get you stabilized, you will race again.
But not yet.
This is an olympic qualifying meet.
The condition you're in, if you run too hard, you push too hard, if you even walk too hard, you could die.
This is it, right? - Just ask her.
- Okay.
What did you mean the other day when you said you don't do that? That I don't do that.
You don't you actually do not do you you physically, actually do not do that? I don't do that.
I feel like she's speaking czech or mandarin.
I'm not a prude.
It's just I'm from Connecticut.
And besides, for me, sex is a 2-player game.
The solo thing just doesn't cut it for me.
You know what I'm talking about.
Showerhead massager.
What about Maya? I would think as a mother a mother with a very expensive showerhead massager.
Look, first self-pleasure is a feminine right.
As a single woman, sex cannot always be a 2-player game 'cause you're gonna get desperate, and you're gonna play with the wrong guy.
Pete.
- Pete is the wrong guy.
- Right.
No.
Except in your fantasies.
- He's fine.
- You know, do him in dream land.
So you're saying to avoid having sex with Pete, I need to have "sex with Pete"? No, you need to have sex with yourself.
Pete is more just like a helping hand.
Please stop talking.
- Beth Burton is here.
- Yes, I'm coming right away.
- We were just - No.
Don't don't explain.
I don't I - He's gonna tell Pete.
- He's gonna tell Pete.
How's How's Maya doing? I mean, she seems so grown-up.
You know, after the divorce and you know, actually, I think she kinda digs having divorced parents.
You know, like, two houses and double the clothes.
You know? She's good.
Right.
What, are you watching me now? What, does Adison not think I can do this? - 'Cause I can do this.
- I'm just observing.
- Now go.
Do this.
- Okay.
Okay, so, what I'm going to do is - what I'm going to do - You're cute.
He's cute, right? Let's just, focus on the exam, okay? Okay, so, sorry.
I'm - gonna tell you the names of stuff - Is he allowed to be this cute? - Is she allowed to ask me that? - She's allowed to ask it, but you're not allowed to pay any attention, so just keep going.
Okay.
No.
This isn't gonna work.
You're way too cute.
No.
I'm not.
I'm not.
I'm ugly.
You know, I have moles in weird places.
- No.
- So just just let me I'd be having all these thoughts about your eyes and stuff.
No, no way you're touching me.
Unless you want to touch me.
Okay, Dell, I think I can handle this one.
I would like to try some therapy sessions before we even consider using the propranolol.
Why can't we just use the drug? Well, even if you were to take it, it would still involve sessions with Violet.
Right, I would walk you through the details of the event after the drug has taken effect.
- All the details? - Right.
I can't do that.
- I know it can be scary.
- No.
I can't - do that.
- Wait, Beth.
Hey.
I got your test results back.
- You don't have gonorrhea.
- Really? Well, that's great.
But could I get some of those pills for the guy? No, absolutely not.
No, he has to see a doctor.
Maya can I ask, How long have you been having sex? I don't know.
A year? Okay.
A year and the boy? - Well, there's a couple of boys.
- A couple of boys? Not that I'm judging.
Friends don't judge.
Just just because you didn't get an S.
T.
D.
now doesn't mean you won't get one, not to mention the risk for H.
I.
V.
, - pregnancy - I use condoms.
They're not 100% effective in preventing disease and pregnancy.
They're not? Maya - sex at your age - Hey.
I didn't know you were here already.
She's not bugging you, is she? No.
She's, no.
I just I just wanted to say hi to aunt Addison.
Well, say good-bye to aunt Addison.
You've got violin.
Come on.
Good-bye, aunt Addison.
Beer? Sudsy, relaxing beer? Violet is having coffee with Allan tonight.
I deserve beer before I have to wipe her off the floor.
I'm going to the track to see coach Mike.
How'd he take it when you told him he had to bench Nicole Clemmons? He hasn't returned my calls.
Anyway, she's the one I'm worried about if she can't race for a while.
Maybe she doesn't know about beer? Have you told her about our good friend beer? Hi.
I left you a few messages.
And I was just on my way out for the evening.
I need to make sure you're okay.
Something more happened, didn't it than what you said? On your marks.
Get set.
He put his hand over my mouth and pushed against me until I felt his gun.
He had a gun? I told him just to take what he wanted and to leave, but he shoved me down on the couch.
Please leave.
Please leave.
What did he do, Beth? She she hasn't had any trouble breathing? No.
Look at her go.
You're a miracle worker, Pete.
I didn't do anything.
I kept calling, and then I remembered he wasn't home.
I was all alone.
It's not happening now.
You're safe.
I kicked him, hard.
He fell off me.
You did? I got up and he grabbed my hair, and I fell into the table.
My son I heard him wake up upstairs crying Beth.
That man hit you? He touched you? I've never seen her better.
She's about to break her record.
You should tell her to stop.
Are you kidding? The record She should stop.
Nicole! He's barely said a word since he found out what happened.
I thought maybe because he trusts you, he it was right to tell the truth.
It's just how he is.
He takes everything on himself.
That man had his hands all over he touched her.
I should've been there.
The thing you need to focus on is your wife.
I'm gonna give notice.
No more business trips, no more leaving.
- We're gonna get a gun - No.
How are you ever gonna rest easy in our home? - How are you ever gonna feel safe? - Listen to me.
Okay, there's something that I can take so I won't remember this, a drug.
- We do not need a gun.
- Let's slow before we go to medication.
Please.
Nothing has changed.
I don't want to feel it.
I want the drug.
- Where's her family? - Out of the picture.
My wife and I, we pretty much raised her.
Excuse me.
Can I talk to you? What kind of snake oil did you give that girl? We found it in her bag.
She's alkaloid toxic.
This isn't mine.
I'm not even sure what this is.
Well, that's a damn shame, because she's your patient, and it may be what's about to kill her.
Come on, Vye, open up.
It'll be okay.
Come on.
I got the post-Allan emergency kit--Roscoe's and every Ashley-Judd-shoots-her-cheating-husband movie I could find.
Oh, you look, good.
Well, I shouldn't.
I had this incredibly intense thing with this, post-traumatic stress victim.
- It was - Who's there, Vye? I got it.
We're just talking.
Okay? Work went late, and so he came here.
Save these for later.
You will need them.
- Cooper - No, no, see, this is what I was now is the giddy updraft, which just means you're gonna have farther to fall.
And I can't be the one on cleanup detail when this goes bad Oh, so suddenly you're a relationship expert? I'm an expert on this relationship because it's all I ever hear about And you know what? I'm tired.
Oh, come on.
- You're fantasizing about me? - No - It's sweet.
- It's not sweet.
It's go away.
Is that what you said in your dream? I'm not talking to you about this.
You like me.
Why do you have to torture me like this? Do you think this is fun? Kinda.
Hello Oh, no.
No, sir.
I am not having a child poke around in lady town.
I'm not a child.
- I'm - My facial hair is older than you.
I'll take you.
- Mrs.
Koster, I can assure you that Dell - your loss.
I don't think so.
You know, Beethoven composed his first symphony when he was 5, Five Picasso mastered the human form at 7.
This is what I was born to do, and finally, I'm doing it.
I would have rocked this pap smear.
I guarantee you'd never receive a more, a more respectful, complete examination of lady town in your life.
So yeah, your loss.
Go ahead.
Go ahead.
Go.
Go.
She's my best friend.
I tell her everything.
How can I not tell her about this? Sometimes you have to disengage.
Sometimes you have to tell yourself it's better not to get involved.
I'm disengaging.
Violet can do whatever she wants.
I'm not getting involved, not anymore.
She can just suffer.
but we were talking about you.
We were.
Hello.
Maya, calm down.
Calm down.
I'm gonna be right there.
Bye.
- If Naomi asks where I am - disengaged.
Maya! What's wrong? You said something was wrong with you.
Not me.
Ruby.
She's we thought she just had gonorrhea.
What? You said that you - I thought you had it.
- We lied.
It was her.
We thought she just had gonorrhea.
But now we think she's pregnant.
Addison, what's wrong with her? Ruby has a late stage ectopic pregnancy.
It's very dangerous.
She's bleeding into her belly.
I've contacted her parents, though.
Oh, but what do I do? She's lost a lot of blood, Maya.
I've got to get her into surgery.
- But - Now.
But what do I do? Mommy? It's typical for victims of sexual assault to hide details to protect their partners.
John, right after the attack, Beth started worrying about you.
I'm not the one to be worried about.
- Beth's the one that - what happened to Beth was awful.
But what she did Beth.
What you did was incredibly brave.
You survived.
I survived.
I never thought of it that way before.
I survived.
I believe that you can get through this, that you have the strength to get through this without a pill.
What you are afraid of is not remembering what happened to you that night.
You already did that.
And look, you're still standing.
What you are afraid of is not that you're not strong enough to handle this.
- What you're afraid of is - That John isn't strong enough to handle this.
Wait.
Are you saying you're saying that I'm too weak? I'm saying that you're human.
I'm saying she's your wife, and you couldn't protect her.
And that's not your fault.
I'm supposed to take care of you.
John, maybe this time you could let Beth take care of you.
And there's no pill for that.
Nicole, I need you to tell me the name of the person that gave you this.
Maybe I just took too much.
I won't use it next time.
I don't think you understand what this guy after today I'm not sure if you'll ever race again.
No.
I did not work this hard, I did not give up my life for this.
Nicole, you need to stay in bed.
Stop.
Stop.
Tell me who did this to you.
I didn't know.
You knew enough to shop for another doctor who would tell you what you wanted to hear.
She was gonna lose everything - the olympics, her scholarship.
- She almost died.
She couldn't miss that meet.
You can't allow for weakness.
She was gonna break her record.
What's Cami like? Well, Cami's great.
Oh, come on.
You gotta give me one little juicy detail I can hate about her.
Well, she she's young.
Young is not a flaw unless you're an old guy dating a young woman.
Ouch.
Okay, her flaws.
Okay.
Well, there's you.
She's a mess when it comes to you.
Really? See, I have this file with all your old e-mails, and she's found it.
It was like kaboom.
Kaboom.
Yeah.
Add that to the baby fever.
- Baby fever? - Yeah.
We're we're trying to get pregnant.
You know, which is - Finish the sentence.
- No, I'm sorry.
Why? Why? She's your wife.
You're talking to a friend.
So finish your sentence.
You're trying to get pregnant, and that is - We don't need to - Finish the damn sentence, - Allan.
- You're yelling.
I'll go.
No.
- Violet.
- No.
You don't walk away from me this time.
This time, I walk away from you.
I think I understand Beth and her husband a bit more wanting to just erase the bad stuff.
Who doesn't want a life without pain? I'd like to think that pain is what forces us to grow.
Well, maybe I don't want to grow.
Maybe growing sucks.
Maybe I just Oh, I'm sorry.
- It's okay.
- No, I am sorry as in I am pathetic.
Ruby dropped her crit to 26 intraoperatively, but, she's gonna be okay.
Maya don't ever lie to me again.
I didn't know what else to do, How to get her to come see you.
She wouldn't.
Mom I'm not doing what Ruby's doing.
I swear.
I'm still I'm a kid.
Go wait in the car.
- Mommy, I'm - The car.
How could you? She's my child.
She came to me, Nai.
Maya came to me.
- I couldn't betray that.
- You could betray that.
- You just chose not to.
- Naomi, you're a doctor.
You know that's not true.
I am not a doctor right now.
I am a parent.
And she's a little girl.
And I have a right to know.
And you're supposed to be my friend.
I am going to walk away now because I need to go find Ruby's parents and tell them that their 13-year-old daughter was pregnant and is still suffering from an advanced case of gonorrhea.
Nai Nai, I know you're mad at me, but as your friend, I'm telling you, spend some time talking to Maya about sex so she can a stay a little girl a while longer.
I thought she was still into that stupid little mini-bake oven thing.
Me, too.
Well, no, not the mini-bake oven, but, you know well, you had the talk with her.
What happened when you when you had the talk? The talk? You didn't have the talk with her? I's a lot harder than it looks to bring it up, sam.
- I don't see you having the talk with her.
- Me? I don't You you have the right parts.
The right parts? - Yes.
- No, you have the right parts when it comes to explaining what boys want.
Oh, god.
Oh, no.
I thought we were so good at this, - the divorce - yeah, we were supposed to be the model for screwed-up parents, right? Maybe we need to let it hurt a little more.
Stop trying to make it look like we got it all together.
Yeah, we gotta do better.
- Or we could buy a chastity belt.
- Yeah - Let's get a chastity belt.
- Let's get the chastity belt.
Yeah Why didn't you check on me? Hey, I just wanted to thank you.
Awesome week of gynergy.
Dell, you cannot say "gynergy" if you want to work with me.
Got it.
Okay.
Hey, what happened? Nothing.
You know, I'm just being me.
Yeah.
Long day.
Listen, about the fantasies - oh, please.
Don't.
- I just wanted to say that I'm not above a fantasy or two about you.
Ouch.
Come here.
Let me see.
Don't be scared.
- I'm a board certified - neonatal surgeon.
And that helps me how? - You hit someone.
- I know.
It's stupid, incredibly.
But this guy, he was a - he deserved to - No, it's not that.
It's just you hit someone with your fist like a cowboy, like, um a gladiator.
Yeah.
Yeah, like a gladiator.
or not.
I'm leaving.
I'm heading out.
What just happened? Pete the cowboy, Pete the gladiator Thank you for that.
It'll help.
Help with what? Just this itch I've got.
Okay, she did not have to tell me that.
Cowboy.
Gladiator.
Scratch the itch.