Private Schulz (1981) s01e05 Episode Script

The great assault on Europe has begun.
In strictest secrecy, British and American forces have massed for weeks on the coasts of England.
But now it's all begun, and wave after wave of Allied troops are landing on the beaches of Normandy under heavy Nazi fire.
Some of the British forces were here four years ago when they were evacuated from under the noses of the enemy.
But now they're back again and under very different circumstances.
Initial resistance fails, and then the heavy armour is brought ashore.
Everything is set for the great advance through German- occupied Europe.
Now the liberation of France is really underway.
And in place of the hated swastika of the enemy, the stars and stripes are raised to the applause of local people.
Vive la France! Slung out of the army and put to work in a highly unpleasant prison camp.
That's all the reward I got for thinking up the best money-making scheme the country ever had.
Then one day a group of unmarked lorries turned up at the camp gates.
You could have knocked me down with a feather when I saw who they were.
- Hello, Solly.
- So they sent you here.
What's happening? They moved us here after the bombing.
All the equipment, everything.
The camp got hit twice.
You mean you're gonna set the press up here? I don't know.
Nobody knows what's happening.
It's fate, Solly.
Just when I thought I'd forgotten all about those fivers, here they are dropping back in my lap.
Haven't they brought you enough trouble? Look who's here.
He's not just visiting, either.
Be careful! The painting's valuable Who's the other one? Globke.
Camp Commandant.
Do be careful! He looks a real bastard.
They send me this one, and they send me that one.
A few hundred here, a few hundred there.
Don't worry.
Globke will find room for them.
Doesn't matter if he has to double up prisoners already doubled up or cut everybody's rations by 10 percent.
Just send them, then they'll be his problem.
Does that look straight to you? Schumacher, try the Veronese over there.
Who are all those prisoners, anyway? They look different.
And what's in all those crates you've brought? I'm not at liberty to tell you.
The official classification is Special Equipment.
The prisoners are special, too.
They'll stay under my command.
Here are the papers.
We are a special unit of SS Counter-Espionage, and as such, you needn't regard us as part of the camp.
What exactly will you be doing here? Making money.
English money, to be precise.
And very good English money, too.
- You mean you forge it? - Shh.
- Exactly.
- What? We forge it.
Those men out there are all skilled professionals.
What a dirty business war is.
Isn't it? Oh, it's despicable.
Whose idea was it? As a matter of fact, it was the idea of a little clerk who used to work for me.
- Where is he now? - Oh He's in a labour camp somewhere.
He's still alive? He was caught trying to steal a million pounds.
- A million? - Yes, but mind you, what a character.
A brilliant fellow.
Full of ideas.
One of the great unsung geniuses of the war.
A man so full - You! - You know this prisoner? This is the sly, slimy, crooked swine I was telling you about.
How dare you come into the Commandant's office! Colonel Globke could have you shot.
I could have you shot! I will have you shot.
And then where would you be? What are you doing in this camp, anyway? You sent me here, sir.
I've been here two and a half years.
And you're still complaining.
I will deal with this swine, might I, Colonel? Thank you.
Well, I'll leave you two to If there's anything at all you need, please don't ask me, I haven't got it.
Well, well, well.
Fancy you turning up here.
You've lost weight.
Well, it's not exactly a holiday camp, Major.
I'm very glad to hear that.
Don't think I haven't thought about you a great deal, SCHULZ.
Because I haven't.
What do you want? Well, my sentence is due to finish in a couple of months, and I was hoping for a chance to redeem myself.
I was looking forward to the privilege of working on your staff again.
I'm sure you were.
What you really mean is you were looking forward to getting your hands on those banknotes again.
Oh, no, sir.
Definitely not, sir.
I've learnt my lesson.
And so have I.
I thought you might need a clerk, sir.
They're a bit short-staffed up here, and you don't appear to have brought anybody with you.
My driver is my clerk now, SCHULZ.
Oh, no.
Schumacher? Schumacher.
I don't need you.
Do I, Schumacher? No, sir.
We can't afford to take second chances.
Not with his sort.
Precisely.
It's strength of character like Schumacher's I need now.
But you'll get a chance to redeem yourself, SCHULZ.
I'll see to that.
Don't worry.
In fact, I shall take a personal interest in the remaining months of your prison sentence.
Thank you, Major.
Lastly, in view of the rapidly deteriorating situation and the proximity of Allied armies necessitating the possibility of another move, I shall wait for the situation to stabilise itself before starting up production once again.
You type that at once and give it to the dispatch rider when he comes.
Mark it "secret".
Yes, sir.
This accident.
You say they can find nothing wrong with that - You mean the jack, sir? - I mean the jack.
No, it was working perfectly well.
- And Schumacher? - Well, I phoned the hospital, and he's as well as can be expected considering he's broken his leg and dislocated his hip.
- Is he conscious? - Yes, sir.
Then didn't he tell you what happened? He knows nothing about it.
I don't understand it.
Schumacher's never been careless before.
Well, it only takes a moment's lapse of concentration, Major.
Yes.
All the same, it was an extraordinary coincidence.
- Sir? - Schumacher having that accident was an extraordinary coincidence, wouldn't you say? Extraordinary, Major.
Very fortunate that you had me here to help out.
Yes, very fortuitous.
- Well, I - Will that be all, Major? No, that will not be all! If you are going to resume duties as my clerk, I expect a better standard of personal appearance.
Look at you.
You're a disgrace to the German army.
Well, I'm not actually in the army at the moment, sir.
That is no excuse.
I shall order an immediate release from your sentence.
You are no longer a prisoner.
Consider yourself promoted to Private.
Get me Colonel Globke.
Shelling the Nazi- held bank of the Rhine is the prelude to American troops crossing here at Nienhagen.
So far the advance has been swift.
And the morale of the troops couldn't be higher.
But at times it's been touch and go, and only daring work by demolition experts of the army engineers saved this bridge from destruction when they dismantled explosive charges left by the retreating enemy.
But now it's safe, and the troops pour across for the next phase of the operation and the eventual advance to Berlin.
Keep going, soldier.
It's not far now.
Fighting, German troops have made a strategic withdrawal from Mannheim.
However, the German High Command announced that fierce fighting continues all along the German front.
Looks like the war's gonna be over soon, Solly.
What's gonna happen here? I don't know.
Look.
What's happened to that money? What has he done with it? You brought all the equipment up here from the camp, and he closed the castle down.
Now what's happened to that money we printed and never spent? The whole world's collapsing, and all you can think about is the money.
Oh, to hell with the world.
The world's getting what it deserves.
Look, the point is the war's gonna be over soon.
That's our last chance of getting hold of the money.
Is that all the end of the war means to you? The end of the money? Have you ever thought what might happen to us when the SS realise the war is lost? I dread the end of the war.
I've been dreading it for weeks.
So is everyone else in this hut.
Who's that? Kaltenbrunner.
- Who? - General Kaltenbrunner.
He's head of the Security Police.
I wonder what he wants? Well, what have you got to drink? Um, schnapps or vodka, General.
Or would you prefer a cup of tea? Vodka.
May as well drink it while we've got it.
Where's Globke? He went over to Landsberg to quarrel with the camp Commandant who keeps sending Globke prisoners and claiming he's got no room for them.
Well, all that doesn't matter any more.
- To your health.
- And yours, General.
Or what's left of it.
The news is not good? I have to tell you that if you're expecting any last-minute miracles, there won't be any.
It's all over.
Two weeks at the most.
Two weeks! Now, then, about this forgery operation of yours.
I understand that you've crated up £500 million and brought them here with you.
Yes, General, but nobody here knows that.
As far as the camp's concerned, they contain special equipment.
Where are they? They're quite secure from enemy action, I can assure you, General.
And they have been sealed, fireproofed, bomb-proofed and waterproofed.
And nobody knows the exact location but myself.
Well, I'll tell you what's been decided.
Colonel Skorzeny is making a last-ditch stand up in the Austrian Alps.
The money is to be taken up there to him to help finance his resistance.
How long does he hope to last, sir? Until the inevitable war between East and West breaks out.
Inevitable? The Führer has Dr Goebbels' word for it.
Now, all traces of your forgery operation must be destroyed.
It is vital that the Allies learn nothing about it.
The decision is that you will take the machinery and the equipment with you and dump the lot in one of the lakes up there.
Of course, General.
What will I do with my team? The prisoners? Oh, they must be liquidated.
We can't risk them falling alive into enemy hands.
Then can I have your signed orders to that effect? To pass onto Globke when he returns.
Oh, very well, very well.
- Is that your clerk? - That's my clerk.
- Take this down.
- Take this down.
To camp Commandant Colonel Globke, Mildorf Camp, April 17th, 1945.
In view of the worsening military situation and the need to maintain strict secrecy concerning the activities of prisoners under the command of Major Neuheim, all steps will be taken to ensure that under no circumstances will they be allowed to fall alive into enemy hands.
Signed, Kaltenbrunner, Head Reich Security Service.
Well, I'll be on my way back to Berlin.
What's left of it.
How is the Führer? How does he feel? Terrible! How would you feel? He's determined not to survive the war.
And I have decided to share his fate in the bunker.
This is a great moment in history, sir.
Well, I certainly shan't forget it, I can tell you that.
Thank you, sir.
I'll see that Globke gets it.
Very well.
By the way, Neuheim.
I'm a little short of cash.
- Oh, yes, General.
Allow me.
- No, no, no I think British currency might be more useful from now on.
Bri I understand, sir.
If you will follow me.
You've got to get out of here, Solly.
What do we do? Blast our way out? - No, we'll wait.
- What? Wait for what? A bullet in the head? Your way's no better.
I told you once before.
If I'm going to die, I'd like someone else to be responsible.
Look.
There's no way out of here alive.
I've known that for some time.
So have the rest of us.
Whether we throw ourselves at the gates or just wait, it'll all come to the same thing.
And in the end, it's better to just wait.
Save yourself.
In a short while, that uniform won't be too popular with a lot of people.
I suppose you're wondering, Neuheim, what possible use I could have for British currency in a bunker in Berlin.
Yes, it had flitted through my mind, General.
The answer's perfectly simple.
It's none of your damn business.
Drive on.
Come in here.
SCHULZ, the war is over.
- Oh, really, sir? - For the moment, Germany is finished.
The German people have proved utterly unworthy of the Führer.
Well, he was always too good for them, sir.
They never deserved him.
Ungrateful swine.
However, Colonel Skorzeny is making a last-ditch stand up in the Austrian Alps.
And I've got a task for you.
You will go to Oberdorf farm.
In the loft of the barn, next to the farm cottage, there are a number of waterproof bales.
Now, these bales contain top secret intelligence files.
These files are vital if Germany is to rise again.
You will supervise the transportation of these bales of intelligence files and take them up to Colonel Skorzeny.
Now, Skorzeny is making his stand between Linz and Salzburg.
Good heavens, there's Linz.
And Salzburg is here.
You will also take all the counterfeiting equipment with you and dump it in one of the lakes up there.
Look, there are lots of blue bits in that area.
It's vital that we destroy all traces of this operation.
I need hardly tell you that the British won't take kindly to those who've tampered with their currency.
May I ask, sir, what happened to the money we printed? You may ask till you're blue in the face, but I haven't the faintest intention of telling you.
That money has been secured against discovery by the enemy.
So don't get any of your brilliant ideas.
Anyway, that doesn't affect me.
Because I've decided to join the Führer in his bunker.
Oh, that will be nice, sir.
Would you look at that? He signed it for me.
In his own hand.
The Führer is determined not to survive the war.
And neither shall I.
I shall need another bag.
I suppose you're wondering, SCHULZ, what possible use British currency will be to me in the bunker.
No, sir.
It's none of my damn business.
You're damned right.
It's none of your damn business.
And just you remember that.
Now, look, there are the orders relating to the prisoners.
You see that Colonel Globke gets them on his return.
Yes, sir.
Of course, sir.
Immediately he returns.
SCHULZ.
The Third Reich was a glorious adventure.
It was good while it lasted.
Yes, sir.
It was a whole load of fun.
People will miss it.
And that's what I've got to give to Globke when he gets back.
But I thought I'd give him this.
I've got to get you out of here, Solly.
All of you.
But this isn't signed.
Well, of course it isn't.
I've just typed it.
You sign it.
Me? Well, you've forged a signature before now.
Forge his.
Get me a pen and ink.
Kaltenbrunner, General, Head Reich Security Service.
Yes, sir.
Kaltenbrunner was here? - Yes, sir.
- What? Kaltenbrunner was here.
Couldn't he have waited? Everyone's in such a hurry.
- Where's Major Neuheim? - Well, he's gone also, Colonel.
Ah, scuttled.
Run off with his Canaletto.
Couldn't get the others in his suitcase, I suppose.
By thunder, the Führer knows who his friends are now.
Major Neuheim's gone to Berlin to join the Führer in the bunker.
The In the Really? Well Well, perhaps I spoke hastily.
It'll be a great comfort to the Führer.
Well here are your orders.
You will carry them out to the letter.
You will take all the prisoners in hut seven and all the equipment and secret files and proceed up into the general area of Linz, Salzburg, where you will report to Colonel Skorzeny in the redoubt.
Map preferences are given.
They will set up the presses and begin printing money for use by forces of the resistance.
What a dirty business war is.
Do you think we could stop for a bit, Corporal? Stretch our legs and that? You go, I'll watch these.
- Got a light? - No.
He has.
Help! Help! If you move, we'll kill him.
We will, we'll kill him.
Do as they say.
They will.
They'll kill me.
- Where do you think you're going? - After them.
Look, what's the point? We'll never get them back without a struggle.
- They're no use to us dead.
- No, but we can get the bastards.
Yes, and maybe one of those will get us.
Look, the war's over.
Who are we kidding? You don't wanna get killed now, surely.
You'd let them go? He's right.
The war's over for us.
- Let's go home.
- That's right.
What about the trucks? We've got strict instructions not to let them fall into enemy hands.
We'll find a lake.
Dump them.
And we'd better bury these uniforms as quick as possible.
Let's get started.
So we duly dumped the trucks in a lake and then split up.
It was my suggestion that we'd stand a better chance on our own.
And of course, I'd had the foresight to bundle up a change of clothes.
So, looking like a peasant, I struck out across the mountains to a new life.
I may not have got away with much by Neuheim's standards, but what I had would go a long way.
£50,OOO.
Move and you're a dead man.
Okay, on your feet.
Get up.
Let's go.
It was an odd feeling going back to that castle.
The Americans had even taken over Neuheim's room.
Okay, Adolf, let's go through it one more time.
It looked rather ordinary without the paintings.
Nice suit.
What scarecrow'd you steal it off of? - It is mine, sir.
- Oh, come on.
Don't give me that.
I know where your uniform is.
It's out buried in a field somewhere.
- What was it, SS? - Certainly not, sir.
You guys, you're all alike.
You can't get 'em off quick enough, can you? Look, Adolf, old buddy, we grabbed you with a lot of money.
- Where'd you get it? - I have told you, I found it.
You found it? Where? I found it in the haversack in the wood.
Somebody must have dropped it.
What, £40,OOO? Maybe they were in a hurry.
50,OOO.
- I beg your pardon? - I thought there was 50,OOO.
- Are you implying something, kraut? - No, sir.
Must have miscounted.
Yeah, you bet your sweet ass you miscounted.
Jalowski.
Wake up and get me Colonel Charlevoix.
You know, something about you stinks, mister.
I ain't sure what it is yet.
But I'm telling you one thing.
You may not be going home for a long time after this war is over.
You got that, sauerkraut? Yeah, Colonel Charlevoix.
Tom Carson here.
How are you? Fine, fine.
Listen, re this Adolf character, I think we're gonna need a currency expert.
What's the verdict? Are they Bank of England notes? They are Bank of England notes.
You mean they're the real McCoy? - These babies here are made by you? - I didn't say that.
A Bank of England note is something that looks, to the Bank of England, like a Bank of England note.
Now, this is a Bank of England note.
And these look to me, and believe me, sir, I'm an expert, like a Bank of England note.
You mean you can't tell the difference.
No.
Hey, you know they've been making them, don't you? Yes, and I'd stake my life that these are some of them.
But I can assure you, the Bank of England would have no grounds for refusing payment on them.
The question is, how many have they printed, how many are still in circulation? Well, we got the guy who had the money.
You better grill him.
Corporal, bring that hot dog in here! No, no, no, no.
I'm not a trained interrogator.
Well, neither am I, and it ain't my currency, either.
This is Adolf.
He speaks pretty good English.
Go get him, Sherlock.
Where did you get these? I found them lying in a wood.
Now, you don't expect me to believe that, do you? - No, sir.
- Then tell me the truth.
I found them lying in a wood.
Do you know what a monstrous crime it is to forge somebody's currency? Yes, sir.
Have you ever thought what harm it can do to the savings of widows and orphans? How it can destroy the value of hard-earned pensions? Don't you think that's a horrible thing to do? Oh, yes, sir.
Do you know that the deliberate forging of an enemy currency might be considered a war crime? Like the forging of clothing coupons and ration books, sir.
No, not at all like the forging of clothing coupons and ration books.
The two things are entirely different.
The forging of German clothing coupons was just a joke, really.
A bit of fun.
Good God, haven't you Germans any sense of humour? Not a lot, sir.
Well, the forging of an enemy currency is a criminal act of wanton recklessness.
It has no regard for the rules of war or the ordinary decencies.
You can't fight a war like that.
Why not, sir? Well, for one thing, nobody would know who was paying for it.
Destroy the whole purpose of war.
The loser might end up better off than the winner.
- You couldn't have that.
- Oh, yes, I can see that, sir.
Very well, then.
I see you intend to be reasonable.
Now, it is vital for us to know the names of the people involved in this operation.
And how much of this stuff there is still lying around.
Suppose I would say to you, here's 10,OOO of this stuff back as a reward for information leading to, et cetera, et cetera.
Well, it hurts me a great deal, sir.
But I found it lying in a wood.
You swine.
You horrible little man.
I'll see that you're kept in prison long after everyone else has gone home.
You're not fit for human society.
I'll have you tried and shot as a war criminal.
Carry on, Captain, I've finished with him.
All right, Corporal, lock him up for further interrogation.
Well, maybe he's telling the truth.
Maybe, but I doubt it.
He seemed untrustworthy to me.
I suppose you'll be taking charge of all this cash now? Yes, I'd better take care of that.
You'd better give me a receipt, too, now.
Yes, of course.
You know, there must be millions of these fivers out there.
All of them fakes.
And each one, in its way, like a rat gnawing at the foundations of the Bank of England.
Jeez, I never thought of it that way.
Um, how much of it is there here? I don't know.
We haven't counted it yet.
I see.
Well, perhaps I'd better count it, then.
Five.
Ten.
Fifteen.
- Twenty.
- Yes.
Twenty thousand.
That's just about what I figured it.
Yes, sir.
Sure is nice doing business with a guy wearing a suit.
The German war is therefore at an end.
We may allow ourselves a brief period of rejoicing.
Today is victory in Europe Day.
Winston Churchill broadcast to the nation, but brings peace and joy to all Europe.
And how the people of London go wild.
These crowds have been waiting since before dawn for a glimpse of the King and to salute the royal family.
What smiling faces! And no wonder.
And it's party time.
And what a difference to the last six years of hard slog.
Watch it, sonny.
Don't fall off.
The singing and dancing go on late into the night.
But tomorrow it's time to think about reconstruction.
And after this most destructive of wars, we shall have to all pull together in the great task of peace.
The Americans kept me in an internment camp for seven months.
And then one bleak morning in the autumn of 1945, they pushed me out into the cold, grey world of post-war Germany.
Get in, SCHULZ.
Mind if I drive? Schumacher! You've recovered from the accident.
We've been waiting for you for months.
Willy! - Look, if it's about the coffee - Shut up.
- It wasn't my fault.
- Gerhard.
Out.
Well, well, well.
Oh, no.
We thought they'd never let you out.
Thoroughly de-Nazified, are you? Thoroughly deloused? I don't understand.
What am I doing here? You know Schmidt and Schumacher, don't you, SCHULZ? Schumacher, SCHULZ.
SCHULZ, Schumacher.
- Schmidt, SCHULZ.
SCHULZ, Schmidt.
- Yes, I know.
Well, the war's over now.
We can be completely informal.
Gerhard, this is Walter, this is Willy.
I shall call you Gerhard.
You may call me Herr Neuheim.
I'm not gonna call you anything.
How dare you kidnap me off the street? You don't change, do you? Moan, moan, bloody moan.
We've gotta stick together now, Gerhard.
Forget old scores.
Schumacher's limp hardly shows, and Schmidt's forgotten he ever had an appendix, haven't you, Walter? Depends what Gerhard remembers.
- Doesn't it? - Oh, come along, boys.
Come along! Now, put that away, Walter.
Would you leave him alone? Remember, we are all brothers.
Oh, pack that up.
How did you know where to find me? Well, we've already established an old boy network, Gerhard.
A sort of SS brotherhood, you know.
Just to help one another.
It took a little time.
But we found you.
What did you do with them? Do with them? Do with what? The trucks you took up to Skorzeny.
They never got there.
Well, of course they didn't.
I dumped them.
I took them up to Lake Toplitz, and I dumped them.
You what? I dumped them in the lake.
The place was crawling with Americans.
You didn't want those papers falling into enemy hands, did you? Papers.
Papers! My God! Did you really think I'd take such care of papers? Don't you know what they really were? Really were? Oh, no.
That was 500 million English pounds in those crates.
All the money that had been printed and never spent was bundled up in them.
And you dumped the lot in a lake.
And not just any bloody lake, but Lake Toplitz.
That's the deepest lake in Austria.
But you told me they were secret intelligence files.
Why didn't you tell me it was the money, you fool! You brainless idiot.
You never trusted me.
You bungling, clumsy half-wit.
You've never done anything right in your entire life.
Never, never, never! My God.
What do you have to do to win just once? You get ideas, you work hard, you create the impossible and still you come out the loser.
I'm cursed, cursed, cursed.
What did you do with that money you ran off with? My road map was inaccurately printed.
Just as I was approaching zurich, I was surrounded by Italian partisans on the Bremmer Pass.
They took the lot.
They even took my Canaletto, the thieving swine.
It's typical.
I only got away with the skin of my teeth.
Oh, stop moaning.
You're no use to us.
You're a bloody waste of time, you always were a bloody waste of time.
Schmidt, Schumacher, get him out of here.
If we could get hold of some diving equipment What do you mean, diving equipment? Well, they were in waterproof bales, you said.
Well, I remember where I dumped them.
There was a little pier going out into the lake.
We ran the trucks off it.
He remembers where it was.
My dear Gerhard.
You remember where it was? Exactly where it was? Yes.
We shall need a professional diver.
Nonsense.
You can do it.
I know you can.
But the lakes are very deep.
Well, I won't send you down without a diving suit.
You'll do it properly.
Oxygen and things.
Have you ever done it before? - No, never.
- You're going to enjoy it.
I'm reliably informed it's very invigorating.
It's something to do with the silence.
Now, don't you worry.
I'll raise that money somehow.
I know a chap.
He's a sailor.
He's bought a whole load of naval equipment.
We'll buy the diving gear from him.
And then we'll go up to the lake.
And then we'll hire a boat.
And you'll go down to the bottom of the lake a poor man, a man without a fenig to his name.
But by God, when you come up again, Gerhard, you'll be rich.
Rich! And so shall we.
There's enough in one of those crates to set us all up for the rest of our lives.
Now, you'll have me in the boat, working the equipment.
And that should give you every confidence.
Unfortunately, we shall have to work at night because the Austrians have forbidden diving in the lake.
They've heard rumours that something is down there.
You had it in your hands.
You should have held onto it, you fool.
You panicked, that's what you did, and let it go.
I couldn't hold onto it on my own.
You try working down there in 160 foot of water.
At least he saw one of the bales and touched it.
We can have another go at it tonight.
It's not that easy, you know.
There's a whole false bottom down there of sunken tree trunks.
There's some logs floating about now.
You have to watch out for those, later on in the dark.
You have no idea how easy it is to get trapped down there.
- And that's my sausage.
- Ah, shut up.
You can't achieve anything without a little effort.
- All you need is a bit of nerve.
- All you need is a bit of nerve.
I'll send Schumacher down with you next time to give you a hand.
Send me down with him next time to give him a hand? There.
That's the real SS talking.
What more do you want? I could do with a blanket.
Give him your blanket, for God's sake, before he dies of cold.
Thank you.
Somebody's line jerking.
Pull him up.
Pull him up.
I can't.
It's stuck.
What do you mean, stuck? Give it to me.
What's the matter with it? It must be caught on something down there.
They must be trapped under sunken logs.
Help me free him.
Oh, just a minute.
- What's this? - What? This.
Oh, look.
It's Willy's airline.
It's come adrift.
- How could it? - How should I know? He's perished.
How much did you pay for those suits? All the money I had.
What more do you want? That's Willy down there in 160 feet of water.
You sent him down in a cheap diving suit.
Cheap? Those diving suits cost me 3,OOO cigarettes.
Three thousand cigarettes? Well, you can't buy a pair of pyjamas for 3,OOO cigarettes, let alone a diving suit.
Will you keep your voice down! This is supposed to be a secret mission! Help me free him! - He's free.
He's come free.
- Of course he's come free.
Look, there he is, floating about over there.
Oh, my God.
He's dropped his weights.
He's come up too fast.
Where are you going? Give me the winch.
Which winch? The hook on the side.
Ah.
Say when.
He dropped his weights and came up too fast.
I know he's gonna be dead.
- Oh, shut up.
- Willy? Willy! Look, it's Walter, Willy.
Speak to me! Oh, my God.
I know he's gonna be dead.
I just know he's gonna be dead.
You don't know it.
You know nothing of the sort, so shut up, do you hear? Let me get his helmet off.
He's gonna be all right, I tell you.
Look at that.
I can see his lips moving.
Don't be so quick to write people off.
Don't be so quick to bury them.
People have been drowned and brought back to life before.
Do you wanna put the mockers on him? Have you no faith? Willy's as tough as old boots.
And if he's dead, I'll eat my - How is he? - Dead.
That bastard.
He sold me a dud suit.
The rubber must have been perished.
My God, I could have gone down in it myself.
Look! A bale has come to the surface.
He's got it! He's done it! Here, get the winch line to him.
Move.
Say when! - Is Willy - Yeah.
I saw him float up.
There was nothing I could do.
We've done it.
We've done it.
There must be £5 million in there.
Right.
Let's get back to the car.
Wait a minute.
What about Willy? Oh, yes.
Well Well, we can't risk taking him ashore.
We'll have to bury him in the lake.
He hated the water.
It's an honourable way to go, Walter.
Some of the best people are buried at sea.
Put his helmet back on.
He might as well have stayed down there.
We should have had a flag.
A German flag.
You can't get German flags at the moment.
They're not popular.
Look, Willy won't mind.
He wasn't one to stand on ceremony.
He never cared where he slept.
So why should he care where he's buried? And in any case, he'll be down there among all those five-pound notes.
Isn't that where we'd all like to be when we go? Right, let's get him up.
One, two, three Say a few words, then.
You came into the world with nothing, and it's certain you can take nothing with you.
Amen.
Hold on.
Slow down! Stop! Stay where you are.
This is a prohibited area under control of the Austrian Army.
- You are under arrest.
- Wait! Wait for me.
Wait for me.
No! Look out for those logs.
Look out! What did you say?