Privileged s01e05 Episode Script
All About Friends and Family
Previously on privileged - hello, Mrs.
Limoges.
- Call me laurel.
My daughter left me 2 grandchildren, rose and sage.
Their grades are lousy.
You want me to be their tutor? How's megan? She settlin' in, makin' friends? No, she already told me that she wasn't ready to date.
What does it matter? You're already dating her sister Lily.
That girl totally just hit on you.
What if I was your girlfriend? Uh, well, you're not.
- You're out with sage? - No big deal.
It is a big deal, Lily.
She's 16 years old.
She's not even allowed in a bar.
I thought you were calling to be nice to me.
I was! Www.
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all right.
Close your eyes.
Imagine you and me massaged on adjoining tables, scented oils burning as our stress melts away.
What kind of scented oils? Jasmine or sweet almond? Whatever you like.
Now, back to those adjoining tables.
Well, I'd vote sweet almond, 'cause jasmine makes me phlegmy.
OK.
Mood is officially killed.
Sorry.
Allergies.
No, it's OK.
I just, you know, I was a little out of my comfort zone, getting all sexy, sexy on the phone, and then, all of a sudden, phlegm, and well, anyway can we go to the spa now? I don't think I can wait to this weekend.
Neither can I, but we must have patience, grasshopper.
Patience, schmatience.
I have got a knot so deep in my neck, it's almost a bone.
I've named it sage.
I take it your job's not getting any easier on you.
Uh, let me put it to you this way.
This is my first weekend off in almost 3 months.
Ohh.
Other line.
Hold, please.
Hey.
Charlie, can I call you back? I'm on the other line with jacob.
I just need 2 seconds.
Uh, OK.
Hold on.
Hey.
So that's Charlie, and he needs to talk to me for a second.
Well, I gotta get back to work anyway.
But don't forget to pack your bathing suit, unless you're a skinny-dipper, which by the way, I'm completely fine with.
Glad to hear it.
Not gonna happen, but I'll call you later.
Hey.
Charlie.
What's up? You never called me back about the white stripes tickets, and scotty needs to know if we still want them.
Oh, crap, I totally forgot.
What's the date? The 23rd.
It's my sister.
Hold on.
Hey, Lily.
What's up? Finally.
Have you not been getting any of my messages lately? Yeah, I have.
I've just been really busy.
- I'm actually on the other line, so - I just wanted to apologize about what happened the other night with sage.
I had no idea she was so young.
- Uh-huh.
- I mean, she did have an I.
D.
, but whatever.
I'm sorry, OK? Yeah.
Fine.
Doesn't sound fine.
What do you want from me? I hate to say it, but "I'm sorry" means nothing coming from you.
What? I mean, you say, "I'm sorry", but then you do the same crap over and over again, so what's the point? The point is I'm trying to be nice.
Iook, I can't talk right now.
I gotta go.
Hey.
Rose, um sorry.
Sister on the phone.
Do you need anything? No.
I just left my books in here.
Well, we could go over that last chapter together if you want.
You know what? Just come get me whenever.
Yeah.
OK.
Bye.
Megan, a word, please.
I'll see you in my office.
- Hello.
- You gonna leave me on hold forever? Oh, Charlie, I'm so sorry.
I forgot all about you.
- Yeah, I know.
- You know what? I'm sorry.
I can't talk right now.
Can I call you later? Megan I'm sorry, laurel.
You wanted to talk to me? As you know, I've been called to a board meeting in St.
Barts this upcoming weekend, very last minute.
- Yeah.
It sounds exciting.
- Not exactly.
A few business dinners, a lot of ego stroking.
St.
Barts may as well be St.
Iouis.
Oh.
OK.
In any case, my granddaughters are taking advantage of my absence by throwing a little pool party.
They think I don't know about it.
But then I'm sure you're already aware of their plans.
Uh, actually, I I wasn't.
That's very disappointing, megan.
First rule in business always be more prepared than your superiors.
Excellent rule, and normally I would be all over it, but since I'm also leaving this weekend, maybe the girls slipped it by me.
First time off in 3 months.
We discussed it last week.
Yes, well, we also discussed how the job requires flexibility.
It would be extremely helpful to me if you could stay and chaperone the .
Of course.
Um I'll just make some calls.
Wonderful.
Just keep things under control.
And, uh hopefully you can take next weekend off.
OK, we're up to 65 "hell, yeah"s, 12 "bummer, I'm on my deathbed"s, and 2 "have not replied"s.
Let me guess.
Breckyn and jordanna.
They seriously need to get over themselves.
I don't know.
I feel kind of bad.
This was an emergency situation, rose.
We had no idea laurel was going out of town this weekend, and we definitely didn't know everyone was gonna ditch their party for ours.
OK, that, we knew.
But whatevs.
Work it out with your therapist, people.
What's going on? Nothing.
Just school stuff.
School stuff or pool party stuff that I'm not supposed to know about? Marco told you.
He is so fired.
Stop firing people.
Marco didn't tell me.
You girls are underestimating me.
OK, this is an impenetrable force.
I am all-knowing, all-seeing.
Laurel found out.
Yeah.
The woman's good.
But come on.
I mean, did you really think that you would get away with it? She would find out eventually.
Yeah, but by then, we would have already had the party, so who cares? She's not gonna make us cancel, is she? No, but she is making me chaperone.
Forget that.
I'd rather cancel.
Please.
I happen to be an excellent chaperone.
In fact, I was a quasi-chaperone for a few of my own high school dances.
I worked the punch bowl.
It was a very popular station.
Oh my God.
I have to go have an aneurism right now.
Don't worry.
I will be as invisible as humanly possible.
Your friends won't even know that I'm there.
No, I know.
And don't worry.
This isn't gonna be a high school party.
Older people are coming.
Actually will's gonna be there.
Excellent.
Yeah, I'll bring enough bengay for the both of us.
That's an arthritis ointment.
Sorry.
I just tuned out for a second.
OK, I just thought of a really great idea.
Megan, you have a guest downstairs.
I do? Is it a boy or a girl? Hold on.
Let me guess.
It's Charlie.
Not really much for games, are you, rami? Hold that thought.
Hey.
You have a butler.
Well, not my own personal butler.
He comes with the house.
Did we have plans tonight? No.
Just figured it's easier to catch you in person these days.
You're not so great with the phone.
Oh, crap.
I totally forgot to call you back.
A few times, actually.
Are you mad at me or something? What? No, no, no.
No.
Why would you think that? You keep blowing me off our surfing lessons, the white stripes concert.
Scotty gave the tickets away.
It doesn't matter, but seriously, are we not cool? No.
No, no.
Of course we are.
I'm I'm so sorry, Charlie.
I have been completely wrapped up in my own world, which is no excuse, because you deserve better.
No worries.
I just wanted to you know, check in.
That's all.
Uhh! This job is a complete black hole of time suckage.
Did I tell you that I had to cancel my trip with jacob this weekend just to chaperone the girls' pool party? I didn't even know about the trip.
Well, it's not happening.
And of course I can't bring jacob to the party, because no one knows that we're dating, and, well, plus I think it would be weird for the girls to see their headmaster in a speedo.
Oh, if the man wears a speedo, I cannot allow you to date him.
Anyhoo, it is probably going to be a disaster.
Luckily will is gonna be there, so hopefully he'll be helpful.
Why would will be there? It's a party.
He's a billionaire.
Those things kinda go hand in hand.
Well, listen, if you need help, I'm around.
No.
Charlie, I cannot ask you to do that.
No, I know you can't.
That's why I'm offering.
It's no big deal.
- Really? - Absolutely.
It'll be fun.
Charlie, you are my hero.
Oh, what would I do without you? Well, she didn't say I had to cancel my plans, but it was definitely implied.
So why don't you just imply that you'll chaperone the party and not do it? Technically not lying.
Please don't hate me.
I feel terrible already.
What about all the scented oils and the skinny-dipping? Well, look at the bright side.
There was never gonna be any skinny-dipping.
- That's what you thought.
- Heh heh.
Hey, rose.
I guess that means you have to go.
Yep.
I'll call you back.
What's up? OK, OK, so I was thinking about the party, and I came up with this great idea, and I just wanted to run it by you.
Are we talkin' themes here? Because I rock at themes.
Actually, it's it's about the guest list.
I wanted to add one more person.
Oh.
Oh, I'm sure that'll be fine.
We have plenty of food.
Ooh, but the thing is I want you to invite her.
- Your sister Lily.
- Heh heh.
Yeah, right.
And I hear Charles manson's up for a parole pretty soon.
Maybe he wants to catch some rays, too.
Rose I'm not gonna invite Lily.
Why not? Look, OK, I know that you two have your stuff to work out, but I mean, she's still your sister, and I mean, you're so I'm so what? You're so mean to her.
Iook, I'm only saying this because you are so nice to everyone else.
I mean, you are even nice to sage, who kind of wishes you were dead.
No offense.
None taken, but rose, I'm not mean to Lily.
You were kind of harsh on the phone.
Well, yeah, but and plus you just compared her to a serial killer.
OK, well, Charles manson was more of a cult leader, but I get your point.
Rose, I've given Lily a lot of chances.
So give her one more.
Why is this so important to you? Because you're my friend, and I just I want you to be happy.
I am happy.
Yeah, except for when you're on the phone with your sister and your shoulders clench up past your ears and your voice gets all tight.
Plus, I think you and me, we have a lot in common.
You know, like how we both grew up without moms and well, even though you had a dad, he obviously wasn't that great since you never talk to him.
That's true.
So, OK, yeah, Lily, she's kind of insane, but at least she's trying.
And you are always the one that tells me it's the effort that counts.
Well, OK.
I'll invite her.
But I'm warning you.
Lily is a disaster.
This is your China shop.
If you wanna invite the bull olayé baby.
Oh! - OK, good night.
- Night.
Hello.
Welcome.
Rose and sage are just right outside.
Hi.
Welcome.
- Don't forget to wear your sunscreen.
- Where's the pool? Oh, uh, it's just past the patio, across the lawn, and if you hit the ocean, you've gone too far.
Holy crap on a stick.
Are you kidding me with this place? I got blisters just coming up the driveway.
Hey, Lily.
I'm glad you could make it.
No problem.
I was pretty surprised to get your message, actually.
Wasn't expecting it after you were such a bitch to me on the phone.
Try and watch your language, Lily.
This isn't one of your biker bars.
Tell me, does that high horse you sit on ever chafe your ass checks? See? That wasn't so bad.
Oh, I'm so proud of you.
Yay, me.
Stop scowling, sage.
You'll get wrinkles.
Marco, wait.
You're not even listening to me funny that.
I see your lips moving, but I can't hear anything.
It's not like anything's going to happen you're right on that account.
I've already spoken to laurel.
- But she's not even here, marco.
- I have strict orders.
No one under 21 drinks alcohol.
Are you trying to ruin my party? Because this is so unfair.
Breckyn! Jordanna! I'm so glad you guys decided to come.
Hi.
Really miss this.
Oh, we thought you were mad, but honest, we did not know that laurel was going out of town until last minute.
Oh, it's cool.
My parents are on safari for another month.
We'll have our party next weekend.
Oh.
You might wanna wait on that a little bit.
I mean, you wouldn't want people talking about our party when they're at your party, right? Heh.
Oh, look.
There's Alexander.
Hey, what's up, ladies? - Hi.
- Hi.
I'm gonna go say hi.
Have fun, girls.
Breckyn, are those new guccis? Aren't they awesome? I got them in, like, 5 different colors.
Yeah? I have a pair, too.
Oh, I meant to tell you.
Perry called and said he's going to be late.
Weren't you supposed to be goin' out with the boyfriend this weekend? Heh.
I know.
I just couldn't bear the thought of not chaperoning a baker twins bash.
And for the record, I wouldn't call him my boyfriend.
Really? What would you call him? Well, I'm not really into labels.
I mean, they aren't really necessary, are they? I would say that he's someone whose company I enjoy, and it's progressing nicely.
You want me to help you with that? Yes.
Heh.
Thank you.
So, um, I invited Lily.
She's out by the pool.
I hope that's OK.
Uh, well, yeah, OK.
Why why wouldn't that be OK? Oh, I, um I just wasn't sure, you know, where you were in the whole label-making process, so well, I'd say that we're progressing at a much more casual pace than you and jacob, but it'll be good to see her.
- Good.
- Although I am, a little bit surprised.
Aren't you guys in a fight? Perpetually.
Yes, this is all part of my effort to evolve and become a better human being.
- One more? - Duty calls.
So you just want me to just stick this somewhere in that flower? - This one.
- Yeah.
Hair pinning really isn't my thing.
- Oh, no.
- hey! Sorry to interrupt, but we need a system to figure out who's over 21, because no one looks their age, and they're all asking for drinks.
I was supposed to be in the spa this weekend.
Oh, uh, will, Charlie.
Charlie, will.
You boys entertain yourself.
I have to go attend to the future felons of America.
How you doin'? Heard a lot of good things about you.
Yeah, I've heard about you, too.
You're dating Lily, right? I guess.
Yeah, we hang out.
No, I just couldn't figure out what she was doing here, but now it makes sense.
She's here with you.
Actually, no.
Megan invited her.
Right.
Wait, seriously? Yeah.
Yeah, she said somethin' about wanting to evolve.
Oh, no.
I take it you don't think that's a good thing.
No, I know it's not a good thing.
Well, I don't know.
I thought it was kind of cool.
You don't know them as well as I do.
Trust me, the two of them aren't going to evolve anytime soon.
Well, if you say so.
Anyway, it was good to meet you, Charlie.
I tried to get the drinks, but but I told breckyn that she is a guest, and that I would carry 'em over.
Okey-dokey, we have 3 virgin mojitos, 4 virgin margaritas, and a virgin vodka soda for you, sage, which is pretty much just soda.
Enjoy.
Let me know when you want your next round.
Can someone please just drown her? No one likes a virgin.
Tequila, anyone? - Whoo, yes.
- Yeah.
Oh, that flask is so cute.
Alexander, what would we do without you? - Cheers.
- Cheers.
What are you doing in here? Relax.
I'm just looking for a beer.
Well, the bar's outside.
But the line's shorter in here.
Give me a break, Lily.
I didn't invite you over here to get into another fight.
Then why did you invite me? Sorry.
Marco just needed some more mint.
Iook, Lily, I know I've been hard on you lately.
"Lately.
" But I don't want that to be our dynamic.
You're my sister, and I love you.
I thought it would be nice to show you what I've been up to for the past few weeks.
You know, see where I'm working.
Want a tour of the house? OK.
Oh, my God, you did not.
- I.
c.
, I am so glad you could make it.
- I wouldn't have missed it.
Who's that chick with tyler? Ehh.
I don't know, but she's a total flatso.
I know, right? She's like a human pear.
- So mean.
- What? Because you've always way too nice, I.
c.
You wouldn't last a day at cielo prep.
I'll catch up with you in a bit.
So, here's to amazing friends who throw amazing parties.
Well, I'll drink to that.
Cheers.
Oh, my God.
- No way! - I know.
I could fit my entire apartment - into one of their closets.
- I know.
Here's what I don't get.
9,000 rooms in this house, and the two of them still decide to share? Well, it's not so weird when you know 'em.
They're really close.
I guess.
God.
I moved into the garage just to get away from you.
Yes, despite the asbestos problem.
Yeah, but I thought it was a fake word you made up.
- You did? - I did.
I thought you were using your fancy vocabulary just to try to freak me out.
When I got that horrible cough that wouldn't go away oh, yeah.
I thought you were dying.
I remember that.
You were so nice to me that week.
Lily remember how I used to bounce your mattress from the lower Bunk? Yes, I do.
I think that's why I still get seasick.
Oh, and remember those glow-in-the-dark stars? Those little stickers you put on the ceiling.
And you'd make up those crazy-ass stories.
Because you were afraid of the dark.
You would make me talk to you until you fell asleep.
I knew you were gonna be a writer, even then.
I knew.
So, um how did dad take it when he found out I was back? I didn't tell him.
Really? Look I get why you stopped talking to dad.
He's a total disaster.
I just never knew why you stopped talking to me.
Lily, I I never meant to shut you out.
I just - - excuse me, miss Smith.
Your assistance is needed down by the pool.
- I should go.
- No worries.
Iook, I really I wanna talk to you about this, seriously.
I'm really glad you're here, Lily.
Go take care of rich people.
I have to use the bathroom.
You gonna watch me pee? Here you go.
Marco, your martinis are almost as good as your omelets.
I aim to please.
In fact, you should make a pitcher of these and set it aside for megan.
I'm sure she could use it.
Megan's not much of a drinker.
Oh.
Didn't know that.
Yep.
Lily is.
OK.
Oh, I'm just saying.
- You know, there's a - yeah, what are you sayin'? - Look at me squeezing limes.
- Hey, look, I'm not trying to start anything.
You just seem confused.
That's all.
I mean, which one of the Smith sisters are you interested in? Or do you like them both? Wow.
OK.
Well, I like megan a lot as a friend, which is what we are, and I'm pretty sure that that's what you guys are.
She's my best friend.
Excellent.
Glad to hear it.
So are you worried about her? Should I be? No.
Because despite what you think, no one here is confused.
Megan and I are friends.
Lily and I are dating casually.
Not that it's any of your business, but we're all pretty clear about the situation.
In fact, the only one who seems confused right now is you.
I'll catch you later, marco.
Shall I extract your foot from your mouth now, or you would like to keep it in there a bit longer? OK, I don't wanna jinx anything, but I think this could be our best party ever.
Did you see megan and Lily? They are totally bonding right now.
I'm gonna hurl.
Uhh.
I think Alexander put way too much tequila in my drink.
I could get you some ice cubes.
I think that helps with the pukey feeling.
I don't know.
I'm just so dizzy.
What's that? What's what? OK, don't freak out, but I think something bit you.
You've got a thingie on your cheek.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
What is going on with my face?! Look, don't worry.
A little makeup will cover it up, right? Oh.
Iook, if that doesn't work, we can always put a hello kitty band-aid on it.
Yeah, I'll wear one, too.
We'll say it's a theme.
Oh, my God.
There's one on myneck, and it totally itches.
Don't itch.
Don't itch.
Don't itch.
Oh, no.
What? Is there one on my back, too? My tennis bracelet, it's gone.
They're getting worse.
Megan, we need you! Intercom.
Freaks me out every time.
OK, this looks a little weird.
OK, a few things have happened that are kind of bad.
First of all, I'm dying.
You're what? Oh.
Those are just hives.
How do you know? Because I've had them before, and it looks like a pretty mild allergic reaction.
Good thing is you're not swollen.
What'd you eat today? Nothing.
All have had today was carrot sticks.
And buckets full of alcohol.
Yeah, but I know I'm not allergic to tequila, so that can't be it.
Who gave you tequila? Oh, my God.
Megan, we really need to focus on the big issues right now.
Guess what! You girls drinking is a big issue! I can't believe that you would go behind my back like this.
OK, somebody stole my tennis bracelet.
What? It's a diamond bracelet.
- You don't actually play tennis with it.
- Wait.
I know what a tennis bracelet what do you mean someone stole it? I don't know.
It's missing.
I always put it in the same place, and it's gone.
I'm telling you, it's gotta be that new housekeeper.
She's totally shady.
It's not the new housekeeper.
Damn it.
We'll discuss you girls drinking later.
OK? And I'll have marco bring up some calamine lotion.
- Wait! - What? Is that gonna give me zits? Charlie, get everyone's drinks.
- Are you serious? - Someone's spiking the punch, and I don't have time here to figure out who can drink, nor is it my top priority, so all cups must be redeemed.
OK, calm down.
What happened? What happened? The girlare getting wasted.
Sage's face has exploded for reasons that I don't yet understerstand.
But right now, I've gotta go kill Lily.
- I'll take care of the drinks.
- Thank you.
Iook, I don't wanna make a scene.
Just give back the bracelet and go.
I'm not gonna call the cops, and nobody has to know.
Just give it back, OK? - What are you - rose's bracelet.
I left you upstairs alone in their room, and you stole it.
Ah, here's the megan I know and love.
Welcome back.
I can't believe you would do this to me.
I didn't do anything to you.
Don't walk away from me.
Screw you.
I'm not gonna stay here and be attacked.
I'm not gonna let you steal from people that I care about.
I love how you care about them! I've tried to care about you, Lily, but you make it impossible.
I go out of my way to be nice to you, to give you an opportunity.
Opportunity?! Yes, an opportunity to act like a grown-up, to prove that you could be a good sister.
I don't have to prove myself to you or to anyone else.
Unlike you, I don't give a crap what anybody here thinks of me.
I mean, you're so desperately trying to fit in, it's pathetic.
You wanna spend the rest of your life kissing ass and trying to make rich people like you? - That's your problem.
- No.
You're my problem.
You always have been, and you're never gonna change.
And you lie, and you cheat, and you steal, and you expect me to cover up for you.
Well, I am done.
I want you gone.
I'm leaving.
Yeah, not just from this party, Lily.
I want you out of my life.
I want you out of my life forever.
You're being so lame.
My au pair let's me do it, like, all the time.
Seriously.
It's just an ice tea.
Really? 'cause it smells like it's from long Island.
Ooh.
You mean like the hamptons? Sage? Oh, my God.
Iook at her face.
This is so classic.
Where's my cell phone? I have to take a picture.
I'm having an allergy attack.
It's no big deal.
I love it.
This is so much better than we even thought it would be.
What are you talking about? Yeah, what are you talking about? OK, so don't be mad, but we spiked your drink.
You did what?! Oh, you totally deserved it.
You know you did.
Wait.
Wh what did you put in her drink? Oh, it wasn't anything bad, just some muscle relaxers I found in my mother's medicine cabinet.
Yeah.
They were just supposed to make her mellow out.
- Smile.
- Oh, you bitches are so dead! Wow, wow, OK.
stop, stop! What's going on here? Don't look at me.
The girls have officially gone wild.
What are you doing? They tried to poison me! - Only because she stole our party.
- Oh, whatever.
Enough! Enough! The case of sage's exploding face has officially been solved.
Apparently betty and Veronica here thought it would be a good idea to put muscle relaxers in sage's drink.
Do you know how dangerous that is? You girls could have killed her.
- Sorry.
- Sorry.
I don't understand this.
I thought you guys were friends.
- We are friends.
- Yeah.
Or hijack each other's parties just because they can.
You girls wanna know what a real friend is? This guy right here.
You think Charlie wanted to spend his Saturday monitoring your alcohol intake? No.
He had way better things to do, but he's here because of me, and that's what friendship is all about, ladies.
It's about loyalty.
It's about being there for the other person when they need you most.
Kind of sounds like having a dog.
It kinda does.
You know what? All right.
Party's over.
- What? - But it's so early.
We'll do the picnic on the next time.
Let's go.
Move it out.
Come on.
Let's go.
Ugh, you are being so lame.
Nobody would have shut down our party.
- Shut up, jordanna! - No, you shut up! Can you believe it? Megan is sending everyone home.
Who cares? This party is a total disaster anyway.
I don't think it's a total disaster.
Yes, it is.
I mean, your face looks like pizza, and I've permanently destroyed megan and Lily's relationship.
They're probably never even gonna speak to each other again.
I'm sorry.
How is that your fault? Because if I hadn't told megan to invite Lily, none of this would have happened.
Please.
You didn't know Lily was gonna turn out to be a criminal.
I know.
It was just a stupid bracelet.
I got so crazy.
You know, I would never let a piece of jewelry come between you and me.
Well, that's the difference between us and them.
People like megan and Lily never had nice things, so when they finally get something shiny, they think it's more important than their own family.
Maybe.
I never made such a big deal about it.
I mean, look.
I've gote 11 other tennis bracelets, and I'm always loaning 'em out, so it's not like I need them.
I mean, seriously half the time, I have no idea who has what.
Oh, wait.
Where are you going? Doesn't look like pizza.
Good God, it's chaos out there.
Drinking alone? - I'm an idiot.
- Oh, don't be silly.
I keep a bottle of cabernet under my pillow for those just-for-me nights.
And the fact that I didn't realize I'm an idiot until now, makes me an even bigger idiot.
OK.
I guess marco won't be getting his quiet time.
What's the matter, Charles? I'm her friend.
And why is that a bad thing? That's all I am to her, and it's all I'll ever be.
OK, so what are you doing about it? Nothing.
- I mean, she's happy, right? - Seems that way.
Right.
So I don't wanna be the guy who messes with his friend's relationship.
But I also don't wanna be the guy separating drunk 16-year-olds at some stupid pool party, hoping his friend will notice him.
Right? This is where you jump in and say, "no, it's definitely gonna happen.
Hang in there, buddy.
" There's nothing worse than unrequited love, except of course losing your hairline in your twenties waiting for that person to love you back.
I missed my window, didn't I? Thanks for the talk, man.
Megan! I need to talk to you.
Rose, the party is over, and do not mess with me right now, because I am pissed off, and you don't wanna mess with me when I'm pissed off.
OK, Lily didn't steal the bracelet.
What? I j I just remembered that my friend precious really needed something to wear to the fire and ice ball, and look, she begged me to borrow it, and I I guess she never returned it.
Are you kidding me? How could you not remember something like that? I don't know.
Just I have so many, I guess I lost track.
Oh, my God.
I can't believe this.
I know.
I am so sorry.
OK? Just please ask Lily to come back here, and I really need to apologize.
This is all my fault.
Lily.
Lily, please.
What do you want? Would you mind if I, uh, talked to my sister alone for a minute, please? Yeah.
Of course.
Don't go.
I don't wanna be alone with you right now.
Iook, I'm I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for accusing you of taking the bracelet.
Rose remembered that she loaned it to a friend, and I feel awful, and I don't know why I was so quick to think that you took it.
It's obviously something that I need to work on, but I want you to know that, um, I'm embarrassed, and I'm so, so sorry, and I just I just hope that you can forgive me.
I'd like to.
But "I'm sorry" means nothing coming from you.
I was so excited that you invited me today.
I actually thought that things might be different.
But you're never gonna stop judging me, and you know what? I'm over it.
You want me out of your life, I'm gone.
I'll meet you at the place, will.
You must think I'm a terrible person.
I try not to judge when I don't have all the details, but you were pretty hard on her out there.
I mean, it's obvious that your sister likes to act tough, but underneath, I think she's pretty vulnerable.
I I wish you were right, but I know my sister.
Just look at what happened here today.
Now, I may not know everything that went down with you guys in the past, but I saw this one from start to finish.
This one's all on you.
Hey.
You're not leaving, too.
Sorry.
I gotta get goin'.
I'm supposed to meet up with some friends from work.
Don't tell me you're mad at me about the whole Lily thing, too.
No, of course not.
Really? You don't think I was too hard on her.
It's not like she hasn't given you reason to be that way.
Makes total sense you jumped to that conclusion.
I would have done the same thing.
Well, then stay.
Hang out with me.
We could do whatever you want.
I really gotta get goin', megan.
OK.
Call me tomorrow? Sure.
Hey.
How'd it go with your sister? Did you guys make up? Not exactly.
I think it's gonna be a long time before she talks to me.
Ah, I feel so bad.
I I made you invite her here today, and now everything's ruined between you two forever.
No.
No, you didn't make me do anything, rose.
Tried to tell her that.
The damage between me and Lily goes a long way back it's gonna take more than one party invitation to fix it, if it can ever be fixed.
But it's OK.
How is that OK? I mean, she's the only family you talk to, and she hates you.
Yeah.
That may be true for now, but luckily I don't depend on my sister for too much, which is why my friendships are so important to me.
And after seeing the way that you and your friends treat each other, I understand why that concept might be a little foreign to you.
Heh.
What are you talking about? We love our friends.
Yeah.
I mean, breckyn and jo are the best.
They tried to poison you.
Agreed.
They did go a little far this time, - but they did apologize.
- Yeah, and they felt really bad.
I mean, that counts for a lot.
Maybe this is all a little over my head, but for the record, I think it's really sad that you girls don't have friends that you could share everything with, that you can depend on, you know, for the big stuff.
We don't need our friends for that.
That's why we have each other.
Yeah, exactly.
Hmm.
All right.
I'm gonna hit the hay.
Good night, girls.
Night, megan.
Don't forget to call precious.
Hmm? What for? To get your bracelet back.
Oh.
Right.
First thing tomorrow.
Can I help? Or can I go dig myself a ditch in the backyard and bury myself in it? Don't be silly.
We have people here to dig the ditch for you.
Why so gloomy, red? I'm not gloomy.
I don't know.
It's just it's kind of tough having zero relationship with my sister and then seeing what it could be like.
They're really sweet with each other.
Well, they have to be.
Who else is gonna like them? Megan.
You have a guest waiting for you in your room.
Don't you wanna ask me if it's a boy or a girl? Not really, rami, but I appreciate the effort.
Jasmine or sweet almond? Courtesy of Mr.
Jacob Cassidy.
You know what? Let's just forget today ever happened.
I'm working on it.
Tonight is all about drinking ourselves stupid.
Please.
I could drink your skinny ass under the table.
- Oh, yeah? - Mmm.
You are so on.
Limoges.
- Call me laurel.
My daughter left me 2 grandchildren, rose and sage.
Their grades are lousy.
You want me to be their tutor? How's megan? She settlin' in, makin' friends? No, she already told me that she wasn't ready to date.
What does it matter? You're already dating her sister Lily.
That girl totally just hit on you.
What if I was your girlfriend? Uh, well, you're not.
- You're out with sage? - No big deal.
It is a big deal, Lily.
She's 16 years old.
She's not even allowed in a bar.
I thought you were calling to be nice to me.
I was! Www.
1000fr.
com presents Traduction : Perspéphone, Faraway, Ellie, Ladybird.
all right.
Close your eyes.
Imagine you and me massaged on adjoining tables, scented oils burning as our stress melts away.
What kind of scented oils? Jasmine or sweet almond? Whatever you like.
Now, back to those adjoining tables.
Well, I'd vote sweet almond, 'cause jasmine makes me phlegmy.
OK.
Mood is officially killed.
Sorry.
Allergies.
No, it's OK.
I just, you know, I was a little out of my comfort zone, getting all sexy, sexy on the phone, and then, all of a sudden, phlegm, and well, anyway can we go to the spa now? I don't think I can wait to this weekend.
Neither can I, but we must have patience, grasshopper.
Patience, schmatience.
I have got a knot so deep in my neck, it's almost a bone.
I've named it sage.
I take it your job's not getting any easier on you.
Uh, let me put it to you this way.
This is my first weekend off in almost 3 months.
Ohh.
Other line.
Hold, please.
Hey.
Charlie, can I call you back? I'm on the other line with jacob.
I just need 2 seconds.
Uh, OK.
Hold on.
Hey.
So that's Charlie, and he needs to talk to me for a second.
Well, I gotta get back to work anyway.
But don't forget to pack your bathing suit, unless you're a skinny-dipper, which by the way, I'm completely fine with.
Glad to hear it.
Not gonna happen, but I'll call you later.
Hey.
Charlie.
What's up? You never called me back about the white stripes tickets, and scotty needs to know if we still want them.
Oh, crap, I totally forgot.
What's the date? The 23rd.
It's my sister.
Hold on.
Hey, Lily.
What's up? Finally.
Have you not been getting any of my messages lately? Yeah, I have.
I've just been really busy.
- I'm actually on the other line, so - I just wanted to apologize about what happened the other night with sage.
I had no idea she was so young.
- Uh-huh.
- I mean, she did have an I.
D.
, but whatever.
I'm sorry, OK? Yeah.
Fine.
Doesn't sound fine.
What do you want from me? I hate to say it, but "I'm sorry" means nothing coming from you.
What? I mean, you say, "I'm sorry", but then you do the same crap over and over again, so what's the point? The point is I'm trying to be nice.
Iook, I can't talk right now.
I gotta go.
Hey.
Rose, um sorry.
Sister on the phone.
Do you need anything? No.
I just left my books in here.
Well, we could go over that last chapter together if you want.
You know what? Just come get me whenever.
Yeah.
OK.
Bye.
Megan, a word, please.
I'll see you in my office.
- Hello.
- You gonna leave me on hold forever? Oh, Charlie, I'm so sorry.
I forgot all about you.
- Yeah, I know.
- You know what? I'm sorry.
I can't talk right now.
Can I call you later? Megan I'm sorry, laurel.
You wanted to talk to me? As you know, I've been called to a board meeting in St.
Barts this upcoming weekend, very last minute.
- Yeah.
It sounds exciting.
- Not exactly.
A few business dinners, a lot of ego stroking.
St.
Barts may as well be St.
Iouis.
Oh.
OK.
In any case, my granddaughters are taking advantage of my absence by throwing a little pool party.
They think I don't know about it.
But then I'm sure you're already aware of their plans.
Uh, actually, I I wasn't.
That's very disappointing, megan.
First rule in business always be more prepared than your superiors.
Excellent rule, and normally I would be all over it, but since I'm also leaving this weekend, maybe the girls slipped it by me.
First time off in 3 months.
We discussed it last week.
Yes, well, we also discussed how the job requires flexibility.
It would be extremely helpful to me if you could stay and chaperone the .
Of course.
Um I'll just make some calls.
Wonderful.
Just keep things under control.
And, uh hopefully you can take next weekend off.
OK, we're up to 65 "hell, yeah"s, 12 "bummer, I'm on my deathbed"s, and 2 "have not replied"s.
Let me guess.
Breckyn and jordanna.
They seriously need to get over themselves.
I don't know.
I feel kind of bad.
This was an emergency situation, rose.
We had no idea laurel was going out of town this weekend, and we definitely didn't know everyone was gonna ditch their party for ours.
OK, that, we knew.
But whatevs.
Work it out with your therapist, people.
What's going on? Nothing.
Just school stuff.
School stuff or pool party stuff that I'm not supposed to know about? Marco told you.
He is so fired.
Stop firing people.
Marco didn't tell me.
You girls are underestimating me.
OK, this is an impenetrable force.
I am all-knowing, all-seeing.
Laurel found out.
Yeah.
The woman's good.
But come on.
I mean, did you really think that you would get away with it? She would find out eventually.
Yeah, but by then, we would have already had the party, so who cares? She's not gonna make us cancel, is she? No, but she is making me chaperone.
Forget that.
I'd rather cancel.
Please.
I happen to be an excellent chaperone.
In fact, I was a quasi-chaperone for a few of my own high school dances.
I worked the punch bowl.
It was a very popular station.
Oh my God.
I have to go have an aneurism right now.
Don't worry.
I will be as invisible as humanly possible.
Your friends won't even know that I'm there.
No, I know.
And don't worry.
This isn't gonna be a high school party.
Older people are coming.
Actually will's gonna be there.
Excellent.
Yeah, I'll bring enough bengay for the both of us.
That's an arthritis ointment.
Sorry.
I just tuned out for a second.
OK, I just thought of a really great idea.
Megan, you have a guest downstairs.
I do? Is it a boy or a girl? Hold on.
Let me guess.
It's Charlie.
Not really much for games, are you, rami? Hold that thought.
Hey.
You have a butler.
Well, not my own personal butler.
He comes with the house.
Did we have plans tonight? No.
Just figured it's easier to catch you in person these days.
You're not so great with the phone.
Oh, crap.
I totally forgot to call you back.
A few times, actually.
Are you mad at me or something? What? No, no, no.
No.
Why would you think that? You keep blowing me off our surfing lessons, the white stripes concert.
Scotty gave the tickets away.
It doesn't matter, but seriously, are we not cool? No.
No, no.
Of course we are.
I'm I'm so sorry, Charlie.
I have been completely wrapped up in my own world, which is no excuse, because you deserve better.
No worries.
I just wanted to you know, check in.
That's all.
Uhh! This job is a complete black hole of time suckage.
Did I tell you that I had to cancel my trip with jacob this weekend just to chaperone the girls' pool party? I didn't even know about the trip.
Well, it's not happening.
And of course I can't bring jacob to the party, because no one knows that we're dating, and, well, plus I think it would be weird for the girls to see their headmaster in a speedo.
Oh, if the man wears a speedo, I cannot allow you to date him.
Anyhoo, it is probably going to be a disaster.
Luckily will is gonna be there, so hopefully he'll be helpful.
Why would will be there? It's a party.
He's a billionaire.
Those things kinda go hand in hand.
Well, listen, if you need help, I'm around.
No.
Charlie, I cannot ask you to do that.
No, I know you can't.
That's why I'm offering.
It's no big deal.
- Really? - Absolutely.
It'll be fun.
Charlie, you are my hero.
Oh, what would I do without you? Well, she didn't say I had to cancel my plans, but it was definitely implied.
So why don't you just imply that you'll chaperone the party and not do it? Technically not lying.
Please don't hate me.
I feel terrible already.
What about all the scented oils and the skinny-dipping? Well, look at the bright side.
There was never gonna be any skinny-dipping.
- That's what you thought.
- Heh heh.
Hey, rose.
I guess that means you have to go.
Yep.
I'll call you back.
What's up? OK, OK, so I was thinking about the party, and I came up with this great idea, and I just wanted to run it by you.
Are we talkin' themes here? Because I rock at themes.
Actually, it's it's about the guest list.
I wanted to add one more person.
Oh.
Oh, I'm sure that'll be fine.
We have plenty of food.
Ooh, but the thing is I want you to invite her.
- Your sister Lily.
- Heh heh.
Yeah, right.
And I hear Charles manson's up for a parole pretty soon.
Maybe he wants to catch some rays, too.
Rose I'm not gonna invite Lily.
Why not? Look, OK, I know that you two have your stuff to work out, but I mean, she's still your sister, and I mean, you're so I'm so what? You're so mean to her.
Iook, I'm only saying this because you are so nice to everyone else.
I mean, you are even nice to sage, who kind of wishes you were dead.
No offense.
None taken, but rose, I'm not mean to Lily.
You were kind of harsh on the phone.
Well, yeah, but and plus you just compared her to a serial killer.
OK, well, Charles manson was more of a cult leader, but I get your point.
Rose, I've given Lily a lot of chances.
So give her one more.
Why is this so important to you? Because you're my friend, and I just I want you to be happy.
I am happy.
Yeah, except for when you're on the phone with your sister and your shoulders clench up past your ears and your voice gets all tight.
Plus, I think you and me, we have a lot in common.
You know, like how we both grew up without moms and well, even though you had a dad, he obviously wasn't that great since you never talk to him.
That's true.
So, OK, yeah, Lily, she's kind of insane, but at least she's trying.
And you are always the one that tells me it's the effort that counts.
Well, OK.
I'll invite her.
But I'm warning you.
Lily is a disaster.
This is your China shop.
If you wanna invite the bull olayé baby.
Oh! - OK, good night.
- Night.
Hello.
Welcome.
Rose and sage are just right outside.
Hi.
Welcome.
- Don't forget to wear your sunscreen.
- Where's the pool? Oh, uh, it's just past the patio, across the lawn, and if you hit the ocean, you've gone too far.
Holy crap on a stick.
Are you kidding me with this place? I got blisters just coming up the driveway.
Hey, Lily.
I'm glad you could make it.
No problem.
I was pretty surprised to get your message, actually.
Wasn't expecting it after you were such a bitch to me on the phone.
Try and watch your language, Lily.
This isn't one of your biker bars.
Tell me, does that high horse you sit on ever chafe your ass checks? See? That wasn't so bad.
Oh, I'm so proud of you.
Yay, me.
Stop scowling, sage.
You'll get wrinkles.
Marco, wait.
You're not even listening to me funny that.
I see your lips moving, but I can't hear anything.
It's not like anything's going to happen you're right on that account.
I've already spoken to laurel.
- But she's not even here, marco.
- I have strict orders.
No one under 21 drinks alcohol.
Are you trying to ruin my party? Because this is so unfair.
Breckyn! Jordanna! I'm so glad you guys decided to come.
Hi.
Really miss this.
Oh, we thought you were mad, but honest, we did not know that laurel was going out of town until last minute.
Oh, it's cool.
My parents are on safari for another month.
We'll have our party next weekend.
Oh.
You might wanna wait on that a little bit.
I mean, you wouldn't want people talking about our party when they're at your party, right? Heh.
Oh, look.
There's Alexander.
Hey, what's up, ladies? - Hi.
- Hi.
I'm gonna go say hi.
Have fun, girls.
Breckyn, are those new guccis? Aren't they awesome? I got them in, like, 5 different colors.
Yeah? I have a pair, too.
Oh, I meant to tell you.
Perry called and said he's going to be late.
Weren't you supposed to be goin' out with the boyfriend this weekend? Heh.
I know.
I just couldn't bear the thought of not chaperoning a baker twins bash.
And for the record, I wouldn't call him my boyfriend.
Really? What would you call him? Well, I'm not really into labels.
I mean, they aren't really necessary, are they? I would say that he's someone whose company I enjoy, and it's progressing nicely.
You want me to help you with that? Yes.
Heh.
Thank you.
So, um, I invited Lily.
She's out by the pool.
I hope that's OK.
Uh, well, yeah, OK.
Why why wouldn't that be OK? Oh, I, um I just wasn't sure, you know, where you were in the whole label-making process, so well, I'd say that we're progressing at a much more casual pace than you and jacob, but it'll be good to see her.
- Good.
- Although I am, a little bit surprised.
Aren't you guys in a fight? Perpetually.
Yes, this is all part of my effort to evolve and become a better human being.
- One more? - Duty calls.
So you just want me to just stick this somewhere in that flower? - This one.
- Yeah.
Hair pinning really isn't my thing.
- Oh, no.
- hey! Sorry to interrupt, but we need a system to figure out who's over 21, because no one looks their age, and they're all asking for drinks.
I was supposed to be in the spa this weekend.
Oh, uh, will, Charlie.
Charlie, will.
You boys entertain yourself.
I have to go attend to the future felons of America.
How you doin'? Heard a lot of good things about you.
Yeah, I've heard about you, too.
You're dating Lily, right? I guess.
Yeah, we hang out.
No, I just couldn't figure out what she was doing here, but now it makes sense.
She's here with you.
Actually, no.
Megan invited her.
Right.
Wait, seriously? Yeah.
Yeah, she said somethin' about wanting to evolve.
Oh, no.
I take it you don't think that's a good thing.
No, I know it's not a good thing.
Well, I don't know.
I thought it was kind of cool.
You don't know them as well as I do.
Trust me, the two of them aren't going to evolve anytime soon.
Well, if you say so.
Anyway, it was good to meet you, Charlie.
I tried to get the drinks, but but I told breckyn that she is a guest, and that I would carry 'em over.
Okey-dokey, we have 3 virgin mojitos, 4 virgin margaritas, and a virgin vodka soda for you, sage, which is pretty much just soda.
Enjoy.
Let me know when you want your next round.
Can someone please just drown her? No one likes a virgin.
Tequila, anyone? - Whoo, yes.
- Yeah.
Oh, that flask is so cute.
Alexander, what would we do without you? - Cheers.
- Cheers.
What are you doing in here? Relax.
I'm just looking for a beer.
Well, the bar's outside.
But the line's shorter in here.
Give me a break, Lily.
I didn't invite you over here to get into another fight.
Then why did you invite me? Sorry.
Marco just needed some more mint.
Iook, Lily, I know I've been hard on you lately.
"Lately.
" But I don't want that to be our dynamic.
You're my sister, and I love you.
I thought it would be nice to show you what I've been up to for the past few weeks.
You know, see where I'm working.
Want a tour of the house? OK.
Oh, my God, you did not.
- I.
c.
, I am so glad you could make it.
- I wouldn't have missed it.
Who's that chick with tyler? Ehh.
I don't know, but she's a total flatso.
I know, right? She's like a human pear.
- So mean.
- What? Because you've always way too nice, I.
c.
You wouldn't last a day at cielo prep.
I'll catch up with you in a bit.
So, here's to amazing friends who throw amazing parties.
Well, I'll drink to that.
Cheers.
Oh, my God.
- No way! - I know.
I could fit my entire apartment - into one of their closets.
- I know.
Here's what I don't get.
9,000 rooms in this house, and the two of them still decide to share? Well, it's not so weird when you know 'em.
They're really close.
I guess.
God.
I moved into the garage just to get away from you.
Yes, despite the asbestos problem.
Yeah, but I thought it was a fake word you made up.
- You did? - I did.
I thought you were using your fancy vocabulary just to try to freak me out.
When I got that horrible cough that wouldn't go away oh, yeah.
I thought you were dying.
I remember that.
You were so nice to me that week.
Lily remember how I used to bounce your mattress from the lower Bunk? Yes, I do.
I think that's why I still get seasick.
Oh, and remember those glow-in-the-dark stars? Those little stickers you put on the ceiling.
And you'd make up those crazy-ass stories.
Because you were afraid of the dark.
You would make me talk to you until you fell asleep.
I knew you were gonna be a writer, even then.
I knew.
So, um how did dad take it when he found out I was back? I didn't tell him.
Really? Look I get why you stopped talking to dad.
He's a total disaster.
I just never knew why you stopped talking to me.
Lily, I I never meant to shut you out.
I just - - excuse me, miss Smith.
Your assistance is needed down by the pool.
- I should go.
- No worries.
Iook, I really I wanna talk to you about this, seriously.
I'm really glad you're here, Lily.
Go take care of rich people.
I have to use the bathroom.
You gonna watch me pee? Here you go.
Marco, your martinis are almost as good as your omelets.
I aim to please.
In fact, you should make a pitcher of these and set it aside for megan.
I'm sure she could use it.
Megan's not much of a drinker.
Oh.
Didn't know that.
Yep.
Lily is.
OK.
Oh, I'm just saying.
- You know, there's a - yeah, what are you sayin'? - Look at me squeezing limes.
- Hey, look, I'm not trying to start anything.
You just seem confused.
That's all.
I mean, which one of the Smith sisters are you interested in? Or do you like them both? Wow.
OK.
Well, I like megan a lot as a friend, which is what we are, and I'm pretty sure that that's what you guys are.
She's my best friend.
Excellent.
Glad to hear it.
So are you worried about her? Should I be? No.
Because despite what you think, no one here is confused.
Megan and I are friends.
Lily and I are dating casually.
Not that it's any of your business, but we're all pretty clear about the situation.
In fact, the only one who seems confused right now is you.
I'll catch you later, marco.
Shall I extract your foot from your mouth now, or you would like to keep it in there a bit longer? OK, I don't wanna jinx anything, but I think this could be our best party ever.
Did you see megan and Lily? They are totally bonding right now.
I'm gonna hurl.
Uhh.
I think Alexander put way too much tequila in my drink.
I could get you some ice cubes.
I think that helps with the pukey feeling.
I don't know.
I'm just so dizzy.
What's that? What's what? OK, don't freak out, but I think something bit you.
You've got a thingie on your cheek.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
What is going on with my face?! Look, don't worry.
A little makeup will cover it up, right? Oh.
Iook, if that doesn't work, we can always put a hello kitty band-aid on it.
Yeah, I'll wear one, too.
We'll say it's a theme.
Oh, my God.
There's one on myneck, and it totally itches.
Don't itch.
Don't itch.
Don't itch.
Oh, no.
What? Is there one on my back, too? My tennis bracelet, it's gone.
They're getting worse.
Megan, we need you! Intercom.
Freaks me out every time.
OK, this looks a little weird.
OK, a few things have happened that are kind of bad.
First of all, I'm dying.
You're what? Oh.
Those are just hives.
How do you know? Because I've had them before, and it looks like a pretty mild allergic reaction.
Good thing is you're not swollen.
What'd you eat today? Nothing.
All have had today was carrot sticks.
And buckets full of alcohol.
Yeah, but I know I'm not allergic to tequila, so that can't be it.
Who gave you tequila? Oh, my God.
Megan, we really need to focus on the big issues right now.
Guess what! You girls drinking is a big issue! I can't believe that you would go behind my back like this.
OK, somebody stole my tennis bracelet.
What? It's a diamond bracelet.
- You don't actually play tennis with it.
- Wait.
I know what a tennis bracelet what do you mean someone stole it? I don't know.
It's missing.
I always put it in the same place, and it's gone.
I'm telling you, it's gotta be that new housekeeper.
She's totally shady.
It's not the new housekeeper.
Damn it.
We'll discuss you girls drinking later.
OK? And I'll have marco bring up some calamine lotion.
- Wait! - What? Is that gonna give me zits? Charlie, get everyone's drinks.
- Are you serious? - Someone's spiking the punch, and I don't have time here to figure out who can drink, nor is it my top priority, so all cups must be redeemed.
OK, calm down.
What happened? What happened? The girlare getting wasted.
Sage's face has exploded for reasons that I don't yet understerstand.
But right now, I've gotta go kill Lily.
- I'll take care of the drinks.
- Thank you.
Iook, I don't wanna make a scene.
Just give back the bracelet and go.
I'm not gonna call the cops, and nobody has to know.
Just give it back, OK? - What are you - rose's bracelet.
I left you upstairs alone in their room, and you stole it.
Ah, here's the megan I know and love.
Welcome back.
I can't believe you would do this to me.
I didn't do anything to you.
Don't walk away from me.
Screw you.
I'm not gonna stay here and be attacked.
I'm not gonna let you steal from people that I care about.
I love how you care about them! I've tried to care about you, Lily, but you make it impossible.
I go out of my way to be nice to you, to give you an opportunity.
Opportunity?! Yes, an opportunity to act like a grown-up, to prove that you could be a good sister.
I don't have to prove myself to you or to anyone else.
Unlike you, I don't give a crap what anybody here thinks of me.
I mean, you're so desperately trying to fit in, it's pathetic.
You wanna spend the rest of your life kissing ass and trying to make rich people like you? - That's your problem.
- No.
You're my problem.
You always have been, and you're never gonna change.
And you lie, and you cheat, and you steal, and you expect me to cover up for you.
Well, I am done.
I want you gone.
I'm leaving.
Yeah, not just from this party, Lily.
I want you out of my life.
I want you out of my life forever.
You're being so lame.
My au pair let's me do it, like, all the time.
Seriously.
It's just an ice tea.
Really? 'cause it smells like it's from long Island.
Ooh.
You mean like the hamptons? Sage? Oh, my God.
Iook at her face.
This is so classic.
Where's my cell phone? I have to take a picture.
I'm having an allergy attack.
It's no big deal.
I love it.
This is so much better than we even thought it would be.
What are you talking about? Yeah, what are you talking about? OK, so don't be mad, but we spiked your drink.
You did what?! Oh, you totally deserved it.
You know you did.
Wait.
Wh what did you put in her drink? Oh, it wasn't anything bad, just some muscle relaxers I found in my mother's medicine cabinet.
Yeah.
They were just supposed to make her mellow out.
- Smile.
- Oh, you bitches are so dead! Wow, wow, OK.
stop, stop! What's going on here? Don't look at me.
The girls have officially gone wild.
What are you doing? They tried to poison me! - Only because she stole our party.
- Oh, whatever.
Enough! Enough! The case of sage's exploding face has officially been solved.
Apparently betty and Veronica here thought it would be a good idea to put muscle relaxers in sage's drink.
Do you know how dangerous that is? You girls could have killed her.
- Sorry.
- Sorry.
I don't understand this.
I thought you guys were friends.
- We are friends.
- Yeah.
Or hijack each other's parties just because they can.
You girls wanna know what a real friend is? This guy right here.
You think Charlie wanted to spend his Saturday monitoring your alcohol intake? No.
He had way better things to do, but he's here because of me, and that's what friendship is all about, ladies.
It's about loyalty.
It's about being there for the other person when they need you most.
Kind of sounds like having a dog.
It kinda does.
You know what? All right.
Party's over.
- What? - But it's so early.
We'll do the picnic on the next time.
Let's go.
Move it out.
Come on.
Let's go.
Ugh, you are being so lame.
Nobody would have shut down our party.
- Shut up, jordanna! - No, you shut up! Can you believe it? Megan is sending everyone home.
Who cares? This party is a total disaster anyway.
I don't think it's a total disaster.
Yes, it is.
I mean, your face looks like pizza, and I've permanently destroyed megan and Lily's relationship.
They're probably never even gonna speak to each other again.
I'm sorry.
How is that your fault? Because if I hadn't told megan to invite Lily, none of this would have happened.
Please.
You didn't know Lily was gonna turn out to be a criminal.
I know.
It was just a stupid bracelet.
I got so crazy.
You know, I would never let a piece of jewelry come between you and me.
Well, that's the difference between us and them.
People like megan and Lily never had nice things, so when they finally get something shiny, they think it's more important than their own family.
Maybe.
I never made such a big deal about it.
I mean, look.
I've gote 11 other tennis bracelets, and I'm always loaning 'em out, so it's not like I need them.
I mean, seriously half the time, I have no idea who has what.
Oh, wait.
Where are you going? Doesn't look like pizza.
Good God, it's chaos out there.
Drinking alone? - I'm an idiot.
- Oh, don't be silly.
I keep a bottle of cabernet under my pillow for those just-for-me nights.
And the fact that I didn't realize I'm an idiot until now, makes me an even bigger idiot.
OK.
I guess marco won't be getting his quiet time.
What's the matter, Charles? I'm her friend.
And why is that a bad thing? That's all I am to her, and it's all I'll ever be.
OK, so what are you doing about it? Nothing.
- I mean, she's happy, right? - Seems that way.
Right.
So I don't wanna be the guy who messes with his friend's relationship.
But I also don't wanna be the guy separating drunk 16-year-olds at some stupid pool party, hoping his friend will notice him.
Right? This is where you jump in and say, "no, it's definitely gonna happen.
Hang in there, buddy.
" There's nothing worse than unrequited love, except of course losing your hairline in your twenties waiting for that person to love you back.
I missed my window, didn't I? Thanks for the talk, man.
Megan! I need to talk to you.
Rose, the party is over, and do not mess with me right now, because I am pissed off, and you don't wanna mess with me when I'm pissed off.
OK, Lily didn't steal the bracelet.
What? I j I just remembered that my friend precious really needed something to wear to the fire and ice ball, and look, she begged me to borrow it, and I I guess she never returned it.
Are you kidding me? How could you not remember something like that? I don't know.
Just I have so many, I guess I lost track.
Oh, my God.
I can't believe this.
I know.
I am so sorry.
OK? Just please ask Lily to come back here, and I really need to apologize.
This is all my fault.
Lily.
Lily, please.
What do you want? Would you mind if I, uh, talked to my sister alone for a minute, please? Yeah.
Of course.
Don't go.
I don't wanna be alone with you right now.
Iook, I'm I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for accusing you of taking the bracelet.
Rose remembered that she loaned it to a friend, and I feel awful, and I don't know why I was so quick to think that you took it.
It's obviously something that I need to work on, but I want you to know that, um, I'm embarrassed, and I'm so, so sorry, and I just I just hope that you can forgive me.
I'd like to.
But "I'm sorry" means nothing coming from you.
I was so excited that you invited me today.
I actually thought that things might be different.
But you're never gonna stop judging me, and you know what? I'm over it.
You want me out of your life, I'm gone.
I'll meet you at the place, will.
You must think I'm a terrible person.
I try not to judge when I don't have all the details, but you were pretty hard on her out there.
I mean, it's obvious that your sister likes to act tough, but underneath, I think she's pretty vulnerable.
I I wish you were right, but I know my sister.
Just look at what happened here today.
Now, I may not know everything that went down with you guys in the past, but I saw this one from start to finish.
This one's all on you.
Hey.
You're not leaving, too.
Sorry.
I gotta get goin'.
I'm supposed to meet up with some friends from work.
Don't tell me you're mad at me about the whole Lily thing, too.
No, of course not.
Really? You don't think I was too hard on her.
It's not like she hasn't given you reason to be that way.
Makes total sense you jumped to that conclusion.
I would have done the same thing.
Well, then stay.
Hang out with me.
We could do whatever you want.
I really gotta get goin', megan.
OK.
Call me tomorrow? Sure.
Hey.
How'd it go with your sister? Did you guys make up? Not exactly.
I think it's gonna be a long time before she talks to me.
Ah, I feel so bad.
I I made you invite her here today, and now everything's ruined between you two forever.
No.
No, you didn't make me do anything, rose.
Tried to tell her that.
The damage between me and Lily goes a long way back it's gonna take more than one party invitation to fix it, if it can ever be fixed.
But it's OK.
How is that OK? I mean, she's the only family you talk to, and she hates you.
Yeah.
That may be true for now, but luckily I don't depend on my sister for too much, which is why my friendships are so important to me.
And after seeing the way that you and your friends treat each other, I understand why that concept might be a little foreign to you.
Heh.
What are you talking about? We love our friends.
Yeah.
I mean, breckyn and jo are the best.
They tried to poison you.
Agreed.
They did go a little far this time, - but they did apologize.
- Yeah, and they felt really bad.
I mean, that counts for a lot.
Maybe this is all a little over my head, but for the record, I think it's really sad that you girls don't have friends that you could share everything with, that you can depend on, you know, for the big stuff.
We don't need our friends for that.
That's why we have each other.
Yeah, exactly.
Hmm.
All right.
I'm gonna hit the hay.
Good night, girls.
Night, megan.
Don't forget to call precious.
Hmm? What for? To get your bracelet back.
Oh.
Right.
First thing tomorrow.
Can I help? Or can I go dig myself a ditch in the backyard and bury myself in it? Don't be silly.
We have people here to dig the ditch for you.
Why so gloomy, red? I'm not gloomy.
I don't know.
It's just it's kind of tough having zero relationship with my sister and then seeing what it could be like.
They're really sweet with each other.
Well, they have to be.
Who else is gonna like them? Megan.
You have a guest waiting for you in your room.
Don't you wanna ask me if it's a boy or a girl? Not really, rami, but I appreciate the effort.
Jasmine or sweet almond? Courtesy of Mr.
Jacob Cassidy.
You know what? Let's just forget today ever happened.
I'm working on it.
Tonight is all about drinking ourselves stupid.
Please.
I could drink your skinny ass under the table.
- Oh, yeah? - Mmm.
You are so on.