Ranma 12 s01e05 Episode Script

Oh, man! Oh, man! Stupid girl! She doesn't havta hit me all the time! All I did was tell her the truth! Why does she treat me like I'm an idiot or somethin'!? She sure don't act like any girl I've ever met.
She is so uncute! Oh, man! Fade into the woodwork, that's the trick Why, you--! Stop sneakin' around and spyin' on me! It's obvious that your body just ain't up to mine.
Unless you work on gettin' at least half as sexy as me you're never gonna catch a husband.
Oh no! I'm sorry! Kasumi--! Akane What is it, Kasumi? Wh-What? I want you to listen to me as if I were our poor dear departed mother, all right? I want you to promise me you'll never again strike a boy.
Akane.
Yeah, but Akane--! Okay! That's 200 grams of ground pork and a bag of white onions, all right? Oka-a-y.
Wow, what a beautiful sunset! Things seem to have taken a step for the worse between Ranma and Akane.
Father, here's the hot water.
We have to do something.
We have to do something.
That dummy - Tomboy.
- Pervert.
- You're rude.
- You're two-faced.
You sneak.
That dummy.
What do you want? What do you care? Lemme guess.
You're followin' me around 'cause you think some of my looks're gonna rub off on you.
You got no chance of catchin' a husband otherwise.
Ranma, you--! Stop it, or I'll--! I promised Kasumi that I wouldn't get into fights with guys anymore.
It don't make no difference whether you fight 'em or not Guys are still gonna think you got no looks! I can't believe he said that! Even my own mother wouldn't blame me if I-- Hold it right there! So I've got no looks, do I!? This is dreadful.
The bruises, the severe dislocation of the joints! Just dreadful! Who did this to him? Huh? Well, uh This is brutal! What kind of thug did this? Well, uh G-Girl did this to me N-No l-luh-- You did this, Akane? Um, well, he What's with the sweet 'n' innocent act? - Akane? - Yes? Did you really do this? Ah, I knew it! It could only be you, I was just thinking that! Yuck it up, why dontcha.
For example, take a look at this.
Look at the way this joint's twisted backward.
That's Akane's touch, no doubt about it.
You must be Ranma, right? I hear you're Akane's new fiance! It's our parents' fault! They didn't even ask us! You've got plenty of time yet.
You're both still children, after all.
I'm not a--! I guess I am, to you! That hurts--! Hmm? That's odd.
Where does it still hurt? Hey! It's okay now! I'm cured! Dr.
Tofu's the best! And what is this? It's boiled potatoes.
I thought we were having meat and potatoes tonight.
The person I asked to buy the meat and onions hasn't come back yet.
Leave it to Akane! Father? Mr.
Saotome? Let's have dinner, shall we? We've got to do something.
Haven't you thought of anything? Not yet.
Not a single thing.
We've been here for so long.
Not one idea? You'd think we would have come up with something.
What about now? Any new inspiration? O-Okay! I'm sorry.
I just thought maybe being a panda might help you concentrate, that's all.
Good night.
Good night! Ah, Ranma.
May I speak with you? Huh? Putting aside the fiance? thing for a moment why don't you just try being nice to Akane? Hmph.
It's not like I enjoy fightin' with her.
She gets mad at every little thing I do.
Yes, but underneath she's really very sweet, you know.
Oh, yeah? There's no need to shout! Really, she's very sweet-tempered and kind.
I dunno You'll understand soon enough.
What were you two talking about? Aww, nothin'.
He was just sayin' how hard it must be for me with you bein' so violent and all.
- Come 'n' get me! - Is that so? Why do your feelings get hurt so easy? You dummy.
Quit it, you jerk.
Are you trying to pick a fight with me? Oh-kay! Now that's more like it! What is wrong with you!? What is it? M-My legs! So THAT'S it--! Why, he he made my legs go out on PURPOSE! - Well, come on.
- Now what? I'll piggyback you.
You can't walk, right? D-Don't be dumb! What're you talkin' about!? You can't expect a guy to do somethin' embarrassin' like that! What if somebody sees me? What if-- But if we're both girls, it's okay, right? "Really, she's very sweet-tempered and kind".
I dunno "You'll understand soon enough".
Not yet, I don't.
Mr.
Saotome! Ranma! Time for breakfast! Oh, thank you! Kasumi, you're too ki-- A job!? Is there an opening at the zoo or somethin'? Oh, that's funny! 'Morning, Ranma! Early-morning workout, eh? Atta boy-- Good morning! - You are unbelievable! - Hot! Have you no sense of feminine modesty!? And since when does a violent girl like you get to lecture me on somethin' like that!? You really are shameless! - Hey! - What? Have you ever heard the word "restraint"? Aww, you're just a hog, that's all.
The miso soup's a bit bland today, don't you think? Do you think so? Father, isn't it time you took that toothbrush out? Oh, that's right.
Akane, do me a favor and stop by Dr.
Tofu's clinic on your way home from school, will you? I borrowed this book.
Would you return it for me? I'm sorry, Kasumi, but could you do it yourself? Today's, uh not real good for me.
Really? Well, I guess it can't be helped, then.
Go on, go--! It's the perfect excuse! C'mon Ranma, we're gonna be late.
Hurry up! But I was still eating--! - Don't you want your lunches? - No thanks! Strange girl.
Hey! What's the big hurry? H-Hey! Akane--! - Akane, wait--! - Be quiet! Oww! Ranma, you keep your big mouth shut, you hear me!? Whaddya mean, "big mouth"? You know! About Dr.
Tofu! When did you-- I told you to wait! So what the heck are you jerks lookin' at!? Okay, who wants to go first? We won't fight you anymore.
We had a meeting.
We all decided to choke back our sorrow and accept your engagement to Ranma Saotome! What's their problem? Button your blouse.
Button it, I said! So what brought this on all of a sudden!? Because A base rumor states that the cowardly Ranma Saotome has bested me in combat! I shall never, never admit defeat! Tatewaki Kuno was the greatest fighter at Furinkan High! Yeah.
He was also its greatest pervert.
Who's a pervert!? Who--!? Akane Tendo, Saotome's a pretty okay guy.
We don't like it, but we decided that we've gotta get over you.
Too bad they don't know a real pervert when they see one.
Shut up! I shall never accept defeat! Whether that cretinous Ranma Saotome kicks me 100 times or 200 times, it matters not to Tatewaki Kuno! Hey! Who're you callin' a cretin!? Admit it! I beat you fair and square! Hey wait a minute! The pigtailed girl! It is no other! - Oh, great.
- Honestly.
How I've longed to see you.
Aren't you forgetting somethin'? You're supposed to be in love with Akane! Of course I love her.
Well she's watchin' us, you know! No, she is not.
Hey--! What're you lookin' at!? Watch us, already! I had no idea If Upperclassman Kuno is really in love with that pigtailed girl I I won't get in the way.
A-Akane! Have you gone nuts!? You are too noble for this world.
And yet, I cannot bear to part with thy sweetness! Nobility! Sweetness! The purity of the lily! And yet, what of the charm of the dandelion!? Hey! You made up your mind yet or what!? I love them both! Well, we've said our piece.
Farewell.
Give our congratulations to Saotome.
I'll do that.
Next! Wow, Saotome's amazing! I hear that he went abroad to study acrobatics in China.
It's kenpo, not acrobatics.
Okay, here it comes! - Got it! - Nice! That's two outs! - We can do it! Just one more! - So, Saotome! Huh? So how far have you gone with Akane? What? Don't play innocent.
You're her fiance, right? - Did you do, uh, you know? - Yeah! You know.
I bet you at least did You know.
With her!? That non-cute girl!? She's wasted on you, Saotome! Akane, here it comes! Okay! Wow, she's great! And she's so cute, too! She is not.
Besides, she's already got a guy that she li-- Wups! Saotome, I thought you studied kenpo! Couldn't you have caught that or dodged it or somethin'? I had somethin' on my mind.
I'm sorry! Does it still hurt? Oh, forget it! I've already apologized about 30 times! Why can't we ever get along? - Hey - Huh? Isn't that your Dad? Pop! What're you doin' here? On your way home? Let me introduce you to Mr.
Saotome.
Starting today, he's my new part-time assistant! Huh? Do you know each other? You don't say! Ranma's father? Not much of a resemblance, I'd say.
Here, let me make the tea.
How thoughtful! Here you go.
This cup's mine.
Ranma, what happened to your face? It was in P.
E.
class Seems like you're always being hurt, doesn't it? Did something hit you? From the marks on your face I'm guessing it was a softball.
You got that right.
And the one who threw it is-- Dr.
Tofu--! Your tea's getting cold! Be right there.
You wait right here.
I'll go get some ointment for your face.
Mr.
Saotome, would you answer that for me? Here, let me.
Hello? May I help you? If you can't talk, don't even bother pickin' it up, huh? You just don't seem to understand that you're a panda! Yes, I see.
Bye.
Who was it? I'm going home.
H-Hey, wait a sec--! Let me go.
Who was that on the phone? It was nobody.
This has nothing to do with that, okay? What's the hurry, then? I thought you were in love with Dr.
Tofu! Stop it! Dr.
Tofu already has someone he likes That was her on the phone just now.
She said she's on her way over.
You're tellin' me that Dr.
Tofu and-- Hello, there! The Doc has got some weird taste.
That is not her--! Running errands today, Kasumi? Yes.
I'm on my way to the chiropractor's office! So who is it, then? Who's Dr.
Tofu in love with? Be quiet, I said! Tell me! Why won't you tell me who it is!? You'll understand soon enough.