Run the World (2021) s01e05 Episode Script
Plus Ones
1
[ELLA] Previously on Run the World
- [WHITNEY] Hi!
- [OLA] Hey.
Oh, hi, Anderson.
[ELLA] We're not back together.
We're sleeping together.
[MONIFE] Mommy's so excited
about this wedding
and so appreciative of
how devoted you are to Ola.
I cheated on Ola.
Girl, I been known that.
Did you just get here,
or did you see me dance?
I totes got here early,
and you were totes the best one
in the whole entire class.
I need Jason to get the fuck
out of my house.
[RENEE] The fuck out, Jason
Get the fuck out ♪
[ALL] Hey, hey, hey, hey.
[MATTHEW] The university knows.
They saw us at the park.
Somebody filed a complaint.
Fuck.
[MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS]
[WOMAN] Exactly how long
have you two been involved?
How long?
I think we should say six months.
Why would we lie?
If we want them to take
our relationship seriously,
we should say two years.
It sounds way more convincing.
Okay, but I think if they know how long
we've been keeping this secret,
it's gonna be catastrophic.
And I think it would be unwise
for us to finally tell our
truth by starting with a lie.
- Two years.
- Two years.
[WOMAN] Did you ever engage in any
sexual activity on campus?
["TEACH ME TONIGHT" PLAYING]
[DINAH WASHINGTON] Let's
Start with the ABC of it ♪
[SONDI BREATHING HEAVILY]
♪
[WASHINGTON] Roll right down
To the XYZ of it ♪
♪
- Help me solve ♪
- [MOANS]
- No.
- No.
- No, absolutely not.
- Never.
[WOMAN] Why do you think you
should be granted an exemption?
Um
[CHUCKLES] well, since MeToo,
it's been impossible
for anybody to accept
that a relationship between
a professor and a student
could be consensual,
respectful, loving.
But I met a beautiful, brilliant woman
that I see as an equal, and I'm sorry
that I didn't turn off my feelings
because she was a student,
but I love her, I love teaching here,
and I shouldn't have to choose.
Sure.
Technically, what we did
was against the rules.
But it has never interfered
with my commitment
to my studies or my dedication
to being an impactful member
of our academic community.
Also, Matthew's a giant here,
and I do not want to be the reason
that another student
loses his mentorship.
[WOMAN] Our primary concern
is to protect our students.
So tell me, Ms. Hill,
do you feel in any way like
you've been compromised?
No. No, not at all.
[SUCKS TEETH] Girl, no, stop playin'.
[CHUCKLES]
[SLOW JAZZY MUSIC PLAYS]
♪
[SINGER] We're running
We're running, we're running ♪
We're running
We're running, we're running ♪
We're running, we're running
We're running ♪
We run the world
We run the ♪
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
[GROANS]
[EXHALES HEAVILY]
There is no way that you're
gonna get this thing unpacked
before the party tomorrow.
Oh, yeah.
Maybe just take it downstairs for now.
Well, yes, ma'am, Ms. Sondi.
Pullman Porter Powell at your service.
This is what you wanted, remember?
For me to give up my
sanctuary where I could
walk around in my panties,
unfettered.
Oh, hey, hey, hey.
Now, let it be known,
you can always feel
free to do a panty walk.
[AMARI] Just thought I'd let you know,
you've been putting the
towels in the wrong place.
I always put the towels
in the bottom drawer.
I know. I move them after you leave.
Now that you live here,
you should know where things go.
Oh.
Did she just throw me baby shade?
Yeah. I think she did.
Which is surprising,
'cause I actually thought
she liked you better than she likes me.
Right?
Ouch, that hurt my heart.
[SMOOTH MUSIC PLAYS]
♪
[AMARI] Why are we
celebrating you living here
if you already lived here a lot?
Because your daddy
and I just want to celebrate
how much we're in love.
What's "in love"?
That is a very deep and
solid question, little girl.
Here.
Which color?
I get the feeling you
want me to wear pink.
It's pink or Vaseline, mama.
That one.
All right, sweetie.
I purple unicorn,
pink star,
triple red heart you.
I triple red heart you too.
You, my dear, are going to be
the prettiest little girl
at this party.
You're not wrong. I look fantastic.
Okay. Show me your moves.
Mm, mm. [GIGGLES]
So you two are free to see each
other in public now, right?
Yes, but I can't work
with Matthew anymore,
so I have to find a new advisor.
- Small price to pay.
- Not really.
Finding somebody new actually presents
a significant challenge.
It's tied to money and grants.
It's a whole thing.
Let's just say I need
to curry some favor,
hence lecoming-out party.
Saying "le" doesn't make it French.
Girl, whatever.
I need to generate legoodwill
- on lecampus, okay?
- [CHUCKLES]
Oh, taste this.
[ELLA] Mmm.
That is goodwill and butter.
- Yeah.
- [LAUGHS]
So
I need some advice about Anderson.
I want to ask Whitney if I can
bring him to the wedding.
- No.
- Why no?
And so quick with it.
Because he tends
to pull disappearing acts,
and wedding photos are forever,
and I don't want to pull
your head out of the toilet
when you are shit-faced
and crying your eyes out
because his inner fuckboy
decided to show up.
As usual, your perspective
is clear and noted.
That's the response of
somebody who is actively planning
to ignore my sage and
usually spot-on life advice.
Here. Be useful.
Start snapping green beans.
I didn't come here to work.
This food ain't free.
[JAZZY MUSIC PLAYS]
♪
It's been in the family
for three generations.
They were actually one
of the first Black families
to own on this block.
Way back before
the fifth sushi bar arrived?
- [LAUGHTER]
- I know, right?
How much raw fish
does Malcolm X Boulevard
actually need?
My parents thought
about selling it in the '90s,
but fortunately, I convinced
them to hold on to it.
And he's been rehabbing it ever since.
He restored the crown molding
and all of the oak
sliding doors from the '20s.
That's my red chair.
It's been in the family
since I was born.
- [LAUGHTER]
- [MAN] Well, how about that?
And this is an original Lloyd Toone,
the famed Harlem sculptor.
Did we always know
that she was this good
at putting on the pretty
dress and smiling?
I think so.
I have to remind myself
that GRITS are amazing
at this Stepford shit.
Grits? Like the food?
GRITS, as in
"girls raised in the South."
They have a certain talent
and aspiration for wifedom.
Ah, yes. Oh, those GRITS.
- Mm.
- Yes, yes.
So, Bride-to-Be,
are you ready for this weekend?
Uh, yeah, you know,
I'm excited for you guys
to finally see the dress.
I'm less excited about being
trapped in the same apartment
as my mom for 72 hours.
Oh, you know I love me some Gwynn.
- That's my girl!
- Well, your girl
can come and stay at your place
and get all up out my shit.
[CHUCKLES]
You're not telling her, right?
No.
But she's a 007-level snoop.
And snooping leads to confessions,
and confessions lead to tears,
and I just cannot.
Auntie Whitney,
are you going to wear a princess dress
when you get married?
I am going to wear an Amsale Aberra.
So yes, a total princess dress.
In fact, I get to be a princess
and an African queen
on my wedding day.
[HUMMING "BRIDAL CHORUS"]
How does she know that song already?
It's the cartoons.
The cartoons are not feminist.
[LAUGHTER]
Well, lovely party, Mrs. Dr. Powell.
Oh, well, thank you very much, my dear.
Hello, friends.
This is Reed.
Reed, these are my friends.
- Nice to meet you.
- Mm.
- Is that pecan pie?
- Mm-hmm.
- It's my grandmother's recipe.
- [REED] Ah.
It's on the dessert table over there.
Boo-yow. Pardon me.
"Boo-yow." Okay.
- Renee?
- Yes?
Who is dude I did not invite?
Oh, that would be Reed Locke.
- [SONDI] Mm-hmm.
- He went to Columbia,
works at a hedge fund,
owns a brownstone in Boerum Hill,
and he took me to Eleven Mad.
That's short for Eleven Madison Park.
- Yeah.
- We've all been there.
This party looks like the place
where the Black Twitterati go
to subtweet each other and die.
[SONDI] Okay, Renee.
I know that you're having a hard time
because of your divorce,
so I'm gonna be nice
and I'm gonna leave
you here with your friends
Ella and Whitney,
who won't tell you about yourself.
Mmm! This pie is slammin'!
What's up with the music, though?
You don't like jazz?
Jazz makes me itch.
I'm gonna go find the DJ.
Oh, I don't think there's a DJ.
[RENEE CHUCKLES]
Whatever.
I grabbed him by the penis
in the Uber on the way up here,
and he's packing. [CHUCKLES]
He's gonna be a lot
of fun for me later.
[LAUGHTER]
Okay, where's the drinks?
Ooh, they got "skrimps" here?
- Oh, my God.
- [LAUGHS]
[JAZZY MUSIC PLAYS]
Which is why intellectual compatibility
has always figured so prominently
into relationships that work.
But certainly you acknowledge
that in all sexual relationships,
there is a power dynamic at play.
Sure, but I don't believe
that women are always
the only ones who stand to gain.
- I mean, they're so
- Why shouldn't they be?
All women deserve to
fuck up at least once.
[CHUCKLES]
- I'm sorry, what?
- Fucking up,
as in "upwards."
Every woman deserves to sleep
with at least one man
who can actually change
her station in life.
Why shouldn't romantic
entanglements be strategic?
Sex and ambition do not have
to be mutually exclusive.
You can have sex that gets you nowhere.
You can have sex
that gets you everywhere.
I mean, behind every great woman
is every man she's ever slept with.
Don't you think some of those
men should be great too?
Otherwise, she's kind of
just a great woman
with low self-esteem.
- Don't you think?
- Ooh.
That's-that's what I've
been saying, you know?
Hos be winning.
They be winning.
Can you guys excuse me for one second?
Ella, there's something over there.
I just need your help with it. It's
- Yeah.
- [SONDI] It's this way.
[RENEE] That's what I've been
trying to get at.
- Mm-hmm.
- The hos in the world
Right?
♪
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
I am not fucking up or whatever that
[WATER RUNNING]
Professor Baptiste,
you really don't have to do that.
Well, I couldn't find
any clean glasses upstairs,
so I just came down here
and helped myself.
Well, that's not necessary.
Thank you, though.
Thank you.
My bad, sis.
The food was delicious.
Oh, well, I'm so glad you enjoyed it.
Clearly, you're doing something right.
[CHUCKLES]
Half the female students
in the department
have been trying to lock
down Matthew for years.
The last girl,
certainly couldn't cook
as well as you, sis.
I don't think we've met. I'm Donda.
Ella McFair.
It's a pleasure to meet you.
I really dig your worldview.
I really dig your confidence.
Only a truly powerful woman
could pull off that hair.
Excuse me, ladies.
You okay?
Yeah.
Have you thrown a
party like this before?
Uh, once or twice.
Nothing like this one, though.
This one was amazing.
Like, on your own
or with a student or two or
Just me.
Why?
No reason.
[SOFT JAZZY MUSIC PLAYS]
♪
["BAD GYAL FLEX" PLAYING]
Yes! Ah!
Ah! Oh!
[LEIKELI47] This is a bad gyal flex ♪
When I come I come to collect ♪
This is a bad gyal flex ♪
Okay. Oh. [GIGGLES]
[LEIKELI47] This is a bad gyal flex ♪
When mi campaign
Dey reelect ♪
This is a bad gyal flex ♪
Run up
You might get wrecked ♪
Ah, oh.
[LEIKELI47] No one cyaan test ♪
Okay, um
[CHUCKLES]
Do you mind taking this off?
No, I can't.
- Why?
- Well, I never take it off.
- Ever?
- Since she died.
I'm sorry, who? What, what?
My-my wife. Her ashes.
- Your dead wife's in there?
- Mm-hmm.
The best cook,
my best friend,
classy lady.
Smart!
[MOANING]
[LEIKELI47] This is a bad gyal flex ♪
Hang it up, disconnect ♪
This is a bad gyal flex ♪
When mi campaign
Dey reelect ♪
This is a bad gyal flex ♪
Run up
You might get wrecked ♪
[SLOW JAZZY MUSIC PLAYS]
Those blue Jimmy Choo
shoes were gorgeous.
Did you put those on hold?
I chose a shoe already, Mother.
Well, when do I get to see them?
I had them sent directly
to the bridal salon.
[GWYNN] What about a veil?
Have you chosen that,
or is that something
I can help you with?
[HORN BLARES, SIREN WAILING]
I have narrowed it down to two.
Pretty certain on the one I prefer,
but I'll try on both when we get there.
[HORN BLARES]
[RENEE] I mean,
I've always been intrigued
by the possibility of a threesome,
but I was hoping
the other chick would be 5'7"
with a stripper ass
and, you know alive.
- [LAUGHS]
- Mm, talk about carrying
- around deadweight.
- [LAUGHS]
You know, for a bridesmaid dress,
this is actually really pretty.
[RENEE] Mm.
I think mine could use
a slit, you know?
I can't adequately
hit my Wobble in this.
See? It can't open.
[GWYNN] Hey, girlfriends.
- [ALL] Ah!
- Oh, Mama Gwynn!
[CHUCKLES]
Mama Gwynn!
- [SQUEAKS]
- Oh!
[LAUGHS]
Mwah.
- Hi.
- Oh, hi.
- Hi.
- Hey.
- Oh, okay.
- [ALL SQUEALING]
You ladies look gorgeous!
Can you believe my girl is doing it?
- My baby's a bride.
- [RENEE] Now, Mama Gwynn,
don't you think this would look amazing
with a thigh-high slit?
I could get with a little
Angelina Jolie moment.
- Pow!
- Hey!
[LAUGHTER]
Mom. Mom!
No.
Renee, no.
Mom, let's do the dress.
[WOMAN] Right this way.
- Well, somebody's in a mood.
- [ELLA] Mm.
[SONDI] And I am so not
in the mood for her mood.
Hope can deal with her
when she gets here.
You know, I am delighted to not
have to plan any bridal events,
but I kind of always thought
that I was gonna be
the maid of honor.
Really? [CHUCKLES]
'Cause clearly, if Hope hadn't
introduced Whitney to Ola,
it would've been me.
She prefers me because
you told everybody
she peed her pants in first grade.
Ladies, the maid of honor has arrived!
Oh, I am the worst maid of honor,
but I do apologize for my tardiness.
I saw a woman I know
from The Links at the airport
and missed my flight.
Her husband was almost our
first Black attorney general,
but he lost to Kamala.
Then in first class,
I sat next to this guy
Whitney and I know went to HBS with.
I think his name was Jamaal Jones.
I'll have to ask her.
He was a year behind us at HBS.
He was on there, sans wife.
He had, like, five scotches
and started staring at my boobs.
Ooh! But who can blame him?
That's been going on since puberty.
Ooh, ooh, ooh,
the bridesmaid gowns look great!
Mm. I think they're kind of plain.
Oh. Renee [CHUCKLES]
sometimes you are too honest.
Oh, Hope, sometimes you're too here.
- Where's my dress?
- [CHUCKLES, CLAPS]
Shit.
[EXHALES HEAVILY]
[WHITNEY] Mom, it's like shoelaces.
- You just crisscross.
- Okay.
I'm working on it.
Hey, your father had a question about,
uh, one of the invoices
from Cohen & Rotter.
I thought we agreed to only use
Black vendors for the wedding.
Yes, I spent weeks
trying to find a Black-owned
lighting and flooring company.
There are none.
It's like we've been redlined
out of the vocation.
[SIGHS] That is a shame.
You remember Mr. Chapman?
He used to have a lighting company.
And he tried to pass
it down to his son,
but of course, he was trying
to be one of those hip-hoppers.
Ow, ow! Ow, it's too tight!
Okay, don't bite my head off.
I'm sorry. I just-I
I just can't breathe in this thing.
You know what? Why don't you just
go sit in the little chair
that's made especially
for mothers of the bride?
[SIGHS]
Could I get a little help
with this thing?
- [RENEE] Really great party.
- [ELLA] Yeah.
- Thank you.
- But that Baptiste, though.
- Baptiste.
- Oh.
What was that in the kitchen?
Mentioning some chick
from Matthew's past
and then calling me sis?
"Sis" is the most passive-aggressive,
non-sisterly shit ever.
I don't fucking know you, bitch.
I'm not your sister.
Don't "sis" me, ugh.
I think you're overreacting.
I mean, she came into my
house and she called me a fuckup.
No. She said you were fucking up,
which I personally love.
Me too, it's already
on my vision board.
- That is a good idea!
- Okay, why are you
taking her side?
I'm not taking her side.
And if you are fucking up,
then good for you.
Ladies!
I'm glad we have this
opportunity in person
for me to tell you
I received nary a response
to my email about my plans
for Whitney's bachelorette.
You know what, Hope?
It probably went to my spam folder.
[HOPE] Well,
I already booked everything,
so I need $800
from each of you by next Friday.
I accept Venmo, PayPal,
but no Cash App.
Eight hundred dollars? For what?
For the entire weekend,
it's actually quite reasonable.
It includes a hotel, dinner on Friday,
bottle service.
Girl, we are way too plugged
to be paying for bottle service.
Hope, even if I had
$800 just lying around,
which I do not,
I would not be spending it that way.
If any of you had responded
to my SurveyMonkey links,
we wouldn't be having this issue.
Oh!
- [RENEE] Whitney!
- [ELLA] Oh, my God, Whitney!
You look so beautiful!
[GWYNN] My baby girl gorgeous, right?
[SONDI] Sweetie. Oh, my.
- Oh.
- [WHITNEY] It's perfect.
- So, Whitney, about that slit.
- Really?
Whitney, I think all of the dresses
are perfect as is, no worries.
I thought we agreed
to ask for alterations.
[ELLA] I never said that.
Renee, I hope you weren't
expecting Ella
- to have your back.
- What is with you?
I'm just saying, if I have
a problem with a bitch,
you have a problem with a bitch.
- And I got a problem
- [GWYNN CLEARS THROAT]
- with Donda Baptiste.
- Oh, my God.
Excuse my language, Mrs. Greene.
Okay, this is getting silly.
Uh, maybe everyone needs a snack.
I brought chocolate-covered
espresso beans.
[RENEE] Also, Whitney,
I've been meaning to ask you.
Is there a way
that we can uninvite Jason
to the wedding?
Uninviting a guest to a wedding
is extremely poor etiquette.
Oh, I'm sorry, Hope,
if that was unclear.
When I spoke directly to Whitney,
I was talking to Whitney.
Okay, well, as her maid of honor
Hope, we get it, you're
the fucking maid of honor.
[RENEE] And if he cannot be uninvited,
I was thinking perhaps maybe
I could bring a plus-one.
Hey!
You cannot plus-one cut-in-line.
I was gonna ask her
if I could bring Anderson.
Again, Anderson sucks.
Sondi, don't you have enough
Matthew drama in your life
to satiate your constant need
for male loathing?
Are you guys serious right now?
None of this is appropriate
for what we are trying
to do here, ladies.
Renee, Sondi, Ella,
closed-door session now!
[ELLA] I didn't even do anything.
[SONDI] Oh, you didn't? Interesting.
Ah.
Ah, ah! Whit, get your girl.
Hope, you don't need what they need.
Okay, I'm just gonna
stand out here and eavesdrop.
[WHITNEY] What is wrong with you?
I have enough going on
with this wedding.
I certainly don't need you three
showing your entire
asses in front of my mother.
Whitney, I swear I didn't do anything.
Oh, please.
I could hear your never-ending
"This Is Us" relationship drama
and you sniping off about
that damn Baptiste woman.
- [RENEE] Mm-hmm.
- [WHITNEY] And, Renee,
Jason is in the wedding,
which you know,
because you two were
supposed to be giving a toast.
So no, I will not ask my future husband
to uninvite your future ex-husband.
And no, you cannot bring
some rando to my wedding.
And, Ella,
my ambivalence about Anderson aside,
he is not invited,
because Renee cannot bring a plus-one,
thus you cannot bring a plus-one,
because y'all.
[SIGHS]
So can you please
start being the friends
that I very much need right now
instead of acting like a bunch of women
who were cast as
friends in a reality show
but have never actually met?
And can you be nice to Hope?
She flew all the way
from Sacramento, and frankly,
she's the only one currently acting
like a decent human being.
[HOPE] Thank you!
[WHITNEY SIGHS]
I'm sorry, Whitney.
I'm so sorry.
So
would this be a bad time
to ask the seamstress
about that slit?
[ELLA] God, get out of here.
Oh!
Wait, don't leave me in here.
[SOFT JAZZY MUSIC PLAYS]
♪
The foie gras sounds delicious.
Foie gras is really fatty,
so obviously, I can't eat that.
[CELL PHONE BUZZES]
Hey, babe.
[OLA] Hey, you.
Hey, future son-in-law!
[OLA] Hey, Mama Greene.
How'd it go today?
She looked stunning.
They all did. I took pictures.
Mom, he's not supposed
to see me in the dress
- until the wedding.
- Relax.
I was only gonna show him the girls.
[OLA] Uh, I am so sorry.
I just got a page.
I gotta go.
Uh, I'll catch you guys later?
Bye, sweetie.
[LINE BEEPING]
Honey
you seem angry.
Can we please just enjoy dinner?
Sure.
But something is up.
I know I shouldn't dig
because it's only gonna
make things worse,
but you're mad at me.
You're mad at your friends.
Why are you so mad?
I just have a lot going on,
trying to make sure that Ola's
happy and you're happy.
Oh, this isn't about me.
You have made it very clear
you only want me involved
in this wedding in a perfunctory way.
Not true.
I'm having the wedding
that you have always
- wanted me to have.
- Am I missing something?
The wedding that you've
always talked about.
If it were up to me, Ola and I
would've eloped years ago.
But I know how much that
would've broken your heart.
So here we are with a
boatload of your friends
and a cake when I don't even like cake.
Oh, hell, Whitney.
All I want is for you to
be happy, whole, healthy.
Why do you think I
call you every morning?
You don't share much about your work.
You keep your relationship
with Ola incredibly private.
You tell me more about Renee and Ella
than you do about yourself.
Well, you always ask about them.
I'm just trying to keep
you on the phone.
I go as far as you let me.
Sometimes I'm afraid to talk you.
You are more successful
than I ever was,
and maybe you think that means
I don't have anything to offer.
But I can tell you this,
this pressure you're
putting on yourself
is gonna catch up.
[EXHALES HEAVILY]
I am trying so hard.
[GWYNN] Why?
Sweetie, you should be savoring
every moment of this.
Your father and I have been
married for 33 years.
We just spent months stuck
in a house alone together.
That, my love, was work.
[CHUCKLES]
This should be the
best time of your life.
I don't want you to
pretend to be happy.
I want you to be happy.
- And do everything right.
- [GWYNN] Listen.
I raised you to be exceptional,
because you are.
I'm not going to apologize
for expecting you
to be the phenomenal woman
sitting across from me.
♪
I just wish you would let me in.
♪
[SERVER] Are you ladies ready to order?
Yeah.
Um
we'll have the foie gras
and bread and butter to start
and two old-fashioneds.
We have a lot to catch up on.
Sounds perfect.
♪
[MID-TEMPO JAZZY MUSIC PLAYS]
♪
[WOMAN] Whoo-hoo![GIGGLES]
[ELLA] Previously on Run the World
- [WHITNEY] Hi!
- [OLA] Hey.
Oh, hi, Anderson.
[ELLA] We're not back together.
We're sleeping together.
[MONIFE] Mommy's so excited
about this wedding
and so appreciative of
how devoted you are to Ola.
I cheated on Ola.
Girl, I been known that.
Did you just get here,
or did you see me dance?
I totes got here early,
and you were totes the best one
in the whole entire class.
I need Jason to get the fuck
out of my house.
[RENEE] The fuck out, Jason
Get the fuck out ♪
[ALL] Hey, hey, hey, hey.
[MATTHEW] The university knows.
They saw us at the park.
Somebody filed a complaint.
Fuck.
[MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS]
[WOMAN] Exactly how long
have you two been involved?
How long?
I think we should say six months.
Why would we lie?
If we want them to take
our relationship seriously,
we should say two years.
It sounds way more convincing.
Okay, but I think if they know how long
we've been keeping this secret,
it's gonna be catastrophic.
And I think it would be unwise
for us to finally tell our
truth by starting with a lie.
- Two years.
- Two years.
[WOMAN] Did you ever engage in any
sexual activity on campus?
["TEACH ME TONIGHT" PLAYING]
[DINAH WASHINGTON] Let's
Start with the ABC of it ♪
[SONDI BREATHING HEAVILY]
♪
[WASHINGTON] Roll right down
To the XYZ of it ♪
♪
- Help me solve ♪
- [MOANS]
- No.
- No.
- No, absolutely not.
- Never.
[WOMAN] Why do you think you
should be granted an exemption?
Um
[CHUCKLES] well, since MeToo,
it's been impossible
for anybody to accept
that a relationship between
a professor and a student
could be consensual,
respectful, loving.
But I met a beautiful, brilliant woman
that I see as an equal, and I'm sorry
that I didn't turn off my feelings
because she was a student,
but I love her, I love teaching here,
and I shouldn't have to choose.
Sure.
Technically, what we did
was against the rules.
But it has never interfered
with my commitment
to my studies or my dedication
to being an impactful member
of our academic community.
Also, Matthew's a giant here,
and I do not want to be the reason
that another student
loses his mentorship.
[WOMAN] Our primary concern
is to protect our students.
So tell me, Ms. Hill,
do you feel in any way like
you've been compromised?
No. No, not at all.
[SUCKS TEETH] Girl, no, stop playin'.
[CHUCKLES]
[SLOW JAZZY MUSIC PLAYS]
♪
[SINGER] We're running
We're running, we're running ♪
We're running
We're running, we're running ♪
We're running, we're running
We're running ♪
We run the world
We run the ♪
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
[GROANS]
[EXHALES HEAVILY]
There is no way that you're
gonna get this thing unpacked
before the party tomorrow.
Oh, yeah.
Maybe just take it downstairs for now.
Well, yes, ma'am, Ms. Sondi.
Pullman Porter Powell at your service.
This is what you wanted, remember?
For me to give up my
sanctuary where I could
walk around in my panties,
unfettered.
Oh, hey, hey, hey.
Now, let it be known,
you can always feel
free to do a panty walk.
[AMARI] Just thought I'd let you know,
you've been putting the
towels in the wrong place.
I always put the towels
in the bottom drawer.
I know. I move them after you leave.
Now that you live here,
you should know where things go.
Oh.
Did she just throw me baby shade?
Yeah. I think she did.
Which is surprising,
'cause I actually thought
she liked you better than she likes me.
Right?
Ouch, that hurt my heart.
[SMOOTH MUSIC PLAYS]
♪
[AMARI] Why are we
celebrating you living here
if you already lived here a lot?
Because your daddy
and I just want to celebrate
how much we're in love.
What's "in love"?
That is a very deep and
solid question, little girl.
Here.
Which color?
I get the feeling you
want me to wear pink.
It's pink or Vaseline, mama.
That one.
All right, sweetie.
I purple unicorn,
pink star,
triple red heart you.
I triple red heart you too.
You, my dear, are going to be
the prettiest little girl
at this party.
You're not wrong. I look fantastic.
Okay. Show me your moves.
Mm, mm. [GIGGLES]
So you two are free to see each
other in public now, right?
Yes, but I can't work
with Matthew anymore,
so I have to find a new advisor.
- Small price to pay.
- Not really.
Finding somebody new actually presents
a significant challenge.
It's tied to money and grants.
It's a whole thing.
Let's just say I need
to curry some favor,
hence lecoming-out party.
Saying "le" doesn't make it French.
Girl, whatever.
I need to generate legoodwill
- on lecampus, okay?
- [CHUCKLES]
Oh, taste this.
[ELLA] Mmm.
That is goodwill and butter.
- Yeah.
- [LAUGHS]
So
I need some advice about Anderson.
I want to ask Whitney if I can
bring him to the wedding.
- No.
- Why no?
And so quick with it.
Because he tends
to pull disappearing acts,
and wedding photos are forever,
and I don't want to pull
your head out of the toilet
when you are shit-faced
and crying your eyes out
because his inner fuckboy
decided to show up.
As usual, your perspective
is clear and noted.
That's the response of
somebody who is actively planning
to ignore my sage and
usually spot-on life advice.
Here. Be useful.
Start snapping green beans.
I didn't come here to work.
This food ain't free.
[JAZZY MUSIC PLAYS]
♪
It's been in the family
for three generations.
They were actually one
of the first Black families
to own on this block.
Way back before
the fifth sushi bar arrived?
- [LAUGHTER]
- I know, right?
How much raw fish
does Malcolm X Boulevard
actually need?
My parents thought
about selling it in the '90s,
but fortunately, I convinced
them to hold on to it.
And he's been rehabbing it ever since.
He restored the crown molding
and all of the oak
sliding doors from the '20s.
That's my red chair.
It's been in the family
since I was born.
- [LAUGHTER]
- [MAN] Well, how about that?
And this is an original Lloyd Toone,
the famed Harlem sculptor.
Did we always know
that she was this good
at putting on the pretty
dress and smiling?
I think so.
I have to remind myself
that GRITS are amazing
at this Stepford shit.
Grits? Like the food?
GRITS, as in
"girls raised in the South."
They have a certain talent
and aspiration for wifedom.
Ah, yes. Oh, those GRITS.
- Mm.
- Yes, yes.
So, Bride-to-Be,
are you ready for this weekend?
Uh, yeah, you know,
I'm excited for you guys
to finally see the dress.
I'm less excited about being
trapped in the same apartment
as my mom for 72 hours.
Oh, you know I love me some Gwynn.
- That's my girl!
- Well, your girl
can come and stay at your place
and get all up out my shit.
[CHUCKLES]
You're not telling her, right?
No.
But she's a 007-level snoop.
And snooping leads to confessions,
and confessions lead to tears,
and I just cannot.
Auntie Whitney,
are you going to wear a princess dress
when you get married?
I am going to wear an Amsale Aberra.
So yes, a total princess dress.
In fact, I get to be a princess
and an African queen
on my wedding day.
[HUMMING "BRIDAL CHORUS"]
How does she know that song already?
It's the cartoons.
The cartoons are not feminist.
[LAUGHTER]
Well, lovely party, Mrs. Dr. Powell.
Oh, well, thank you very much, my dear.
Hello, friends.
This is Reed.
Reed, these are my friends.
- Nice to meet you.
- Mm.
- Is that pecan pie?
- Mm-hmm.
- It's my grandmother's recipe.
- [REED] Ah.
It's on the dessert table over there.
Boo-yow. Pardon me.
"Boo-yow." Okay.
- Renee?
- Yes?
Who is dude I did not invite?
Oh, that would be Reed Locke.
- [SONDI] Mm-hmm.
- He went to Columbia,
works at a hedge fund,
owns a brownstone in Boerum Hill,
and he took me to Eleven Mad.
That's short for Eleven Madison Park.
- Yeah.
- We've all been there.
This party looks like the place
where the Black Twitterati go
to subtweet each other and die.
[SONDI] Okay, Renee.
I know that you're having a hard time
because of your divorce,
so I'm gonna be nice
and I'm gonna leave
you here with your friends
Ella and Whitney,
who won't tell you about yourself.
Mmm! This pie is slammin'!
What's up with the music, though?
You don't like jazz?
Jazz makes me itch.
I'm gonna go find the DJ.
Oh, I don't think there's a DJ.
[RENEE CHUCKLES]
Whatever.
I grabbed him by the penis
in the Uber on the way up here,
and he's packing. [CHUCKLES]
He's gonna be a lot
of fun for me later.
[LAUGHTER]
Okay, where's the drinks?
Ooh, they got "skrimps" here?
- Oh, my God.
- [LAUGHS]
[JAZZY MUSIC PLAYS]
Which is why intellectual compatibility
has always figured so prominently
into relationships that work.
But certainly you acknowledge
that in all sexual relationships,
there is a power dynamic at play.
Sure, but I don't believe
that women are always
the only ones who stand to gain.
- I mean, they're so
- Why shouldn't they be?
All women deserve to
fuck up at least once.
[CHUCKLES]
- I'm sorry, what?
- Fucking up,
as in "upwards."
Every woman deserves to sleep
with at least one man
who can actually change
her station in life.
Why shouldn't romantic
entanglements be strategic?
Sex and ambition do not have
to be mutually exclusive.
You can have sex that gets you nowhere.
You can have sex
that gets you everywhere.
I mean, behind every great woman
is every man she's ever slept with.
Don't you think some of those
men should be great too?
Otherwise, she's kind of
just a great woman
with low self-esteem.
- Don't you think?
- Ooh.
That's-that's what I've
been saying, you know?
Hos be winning.
They be winning.
Can you guys excuse me for one second?
Ella, there's something over there.
I just need your help with it. It's
- Yeah.
- [SONDI] It's this way.
[RENEE] That's what I've been
trying to get at.
- Mm-hmm.
- The hos in the world
Right?
♪
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
I am not fucking up or whatever that
[WATER RUNNING]
Professor Baptiste,
you really don't have to do that.
Well, I couldn't find
any clean glasses upstairs,
so I just came down here
and helped myself.
Well, that's not necessary.
Thank you, though.
Thank you.
My bad, sis.
The food was delicious.
Oh, well, I'm so glad you enjoyed it.
Clearly, you're doing something right.
[CHUCKLES]
Half the female students
in the department
have been trying to lock
down Matthew for years.
The last girl,
certainly couldn't cook
as well as you, sis.
I don't think we've met. I'm Donda.
Ella McFair.
It's a pleasure to meet you.
I really dig your worldview.
I really dig your confidence.
Only a truly powerful woman
could pull off that hair.
Excuse me, ladies.
You okay?
Yeah.
Have you thrown a
party like this before?
Uh, once or twice.
Nothing like this one, though.
This one was amazing.
Like, on your own
or with a student or two or
Just me.
Why?
No reason.
[SOFT JAZZY MUSIC PLAYS]
♪
["BAD GYAL FLEX" PLAYING]
Yes! Ah!
Ah! Oh!
[LEIKELI47] This is a bad gyal flex ♪
When I come I come to collect ♪
This is a bad gyal flex ♪
Okay. Oh. [GIGGLES]
[LEIKELI47] This is a bad gyal flex ♪
When mi campaign
Dey reelect ♪
This is a bad gyal flex ♪
Run up
You might get wrecked ♪
Ah, oh.
[LEIKELI47] No one cyaan test ♪
Okay, um
[CHUCKLES]
Do you mind taking this off?
No, I can't.
- Why?
- Well, I never take it off.
- Ever?
- Since she died.
I'm sorry, who? What, what?
My-my wife. Her ashes.
- Your dead wife's in there?
- Mm-hmm.
The best cook,
my best friend,
classy lady.
Smart!
[MOANING]
[LEIKELI47] This is a bad gyal flex ♪
Hang it up, disconnect ♪
This is a bad gyal flex ♪
When mi campaign
Dey reelect ♪
This is a bad gyal flex ♪
Run up
You might get wrecked ♪
[SLOW JAZZY MUSIC PLAYS]
Those blue Jimmy Choo
shoes were gorgeous.
Did you put those on hold?
I chose a shoe already, Mother.
Well, when do I get to see them?
I had them sent directly
to the bridal salon.
[GWYNN] What about a veil?
Have you chosen that,
or is that something
I can help you with?
[HORN BLARES, SIREN WAILING]
I have narrowed it down to two.
Pretty certain on the one I prefer,
but I'll try on both when we get there.
[HORN BLARES]
[RENEE] I mean,
I've always been intrigued
by the possibility of a threesome,
but I was hoping
the other chick would be 5'7"
with a stripper ass
and, you know alive.
- [LAUGHS]
- Mm, talk about carrying
- around deadweight.
- [LAUGHS]
You know, for a bridesmaid dress,
this is actually really pretty.
[RENEE] Mm.
I think mine could use
a slit, you know?
I can't adequately
hit my Wobble in this.
See? It can't open.
[GWYNN] Hey, girlfriends.
- [ALL] Ah!
- Oh, Mama Gwynn!
[CHUCKLES]
Mama Gwynn!
- [SQUEAKS]
- Oh!
[LAUGHS]
Mwah.
- Hi.
- Oh, hi.
- Hi.
- Hey.
- Oh, okay.
- [ALL SQUEALING]
You ladies look gorgeous!
Can you believe my girl is doing it?
- My baby's a bride.
- [RENEE] Now, Mama Gwynn,
don't you think this would look amazing
with a thigh-high slit?
I could get with a little
Angelina Jolie moment.
- Pow!
- Hey!
[LAUGHTER]
Mom. Mom!
No.
Renee, no.
Mom, let's do the dress.
[WOMAN] Right this way.
- Well, somebody's in a mood.
- [ELLA] Mm.
[SONDI] And I am so not
in the mood for her mood.
Hope can deal with her
when she gets here.
You know, I am delighted to not
have to plan any bridal events,
but I kind of always thought
that I was gonna be
the maid of honor.
Really? [CHUCKLES]
'Cause clearly, if Hope hadn't
introduced Whitney to Ola,
it would've been me.
She prefers me because
you told everybody
she peed her pants in first grade.
Ladies, the maid of honor has arrived!
Oh, I am the worst maid of honor,
but I do apologize for my tardiness.
I saw a woman I know
from The Links at the airport
and missed my flight.
Her husband was almost our
first Black attorney general,
but he lost to Kamala.
Then in first class,
I sat next to this guy
Whitney and I know went to HBS with.
I think his name was Jamaal Jones.
I'll have to ask her.
He was a year behind us at HBS.
He was on there, sans wife.
He had, like, five scotches
and started staring at my boobs.
Ooh! But who can blame him?
That's been going on since puberty.
Ooh, ooh, ooh,
the bridesmaid gowns look great!
Mm. I think they're kind of plain.
Oh. Renee [CHUCKLES]
sometimes you are too honest.
Oh, Hope, sometimes you're too here.
- Where's my dress?
- [CHUCKLES, CLAPS]
Shit.
[EXHALES HEAVILY]
[WHITNEY] Mom, it's like shoelaces.
- You just crisscross.
- Okay.
I'm working on it.
Hey, your father had a question about,
uh, one of the invoices
from Cohen & Rotter.
I thought we agreed to only use
Black vendors for the wedding.
Yes, I spent weeks
trying to find a Black-owned
lighting and flooring company.
There are none.
It's like we've been redlined
out of the vocation.
[SIGHS] That is a shame.
You remember Mr. Chapman?
He used to have a lighting company.
And he tried to pass
it down to his son,
but of course, he was trying
to be one of those hip-hoppers.
Ow, ow! Ow, it's too tight!
Okay, don't bite my head off.
I'm sorry. I just-I
I just can't breathe in this thing.
You know what? Why don't you just
go sit in the little chair
that's made especially
for mothers of the bride?
[SIGHS]
Could I get a little help
with this thing?
- [RENEE] Really great party.
- [ELLA] Yeah.
- Thank you.
- But that Baptiste, though.
- Baptiste.
- Oh.
What was that in the kitchen?
Mentioning some chick
from Matthew's past
and then calling me sis?
"Sis" is the most passive-aggressive,
non-sisterly shit ever.
I don't fucking know you, bitch.
I'm not your sister.
Don't "sis" me, ugh.
I think you're overreacting.
I mean, she came into my
house and she called me a fuckup.
No. She said you were fucking up,
which I personally love.
Me too, it's already
on my vision board.
- That is a good idea!
- Okay, why are you
taking her side?
I'm not taking her side.
And if you are fucking up,
then good for you.
Ladies!
I'm glad we have this
opportunity in person
for me to tell you
I received nary a response
to my email about my plans
for Whitney's bachelorette.
You know what, Hope?
It probably went to my spam folder.
[HOPE] Well,
I already booked everything,
so I need $800
from each of you by next Friday.
I accept Venmo, PayPal,
but no Cash App.
Eight hundred dollars? For what?
For the entire weekend,
it's actually quite reasonable.
It includes a hotel, dinner on Friday,
bottle service.
Girl, we are way too plugged
to be paying for bottle service.
Hope, even if I had
$800 just lying around,
which I do not,
I would not be spending it that way.
If any of you had responded
to my SurveyMonkey links,
we wouldn't be having this issue.
Oh!
- [RENEE] Whitney!
- [ELLA] Oh, my God, Whitney!
You look so beautiful!
[GWYNN] My baby girl gorgeous, right?
[SONDI] Sweetie. Oh, my.
- Oh.
- [WHITNEY] It's perfect.
- So, Whitney, about that slit.
- Really?
Whitney, I think all of the dresses
are perfect as is, no worries.
I thought we agreed
to ask for alterations.
[ELLA] I never said that.
Renee, I hope you weren't
expecting Ella
- to have your back.
- What is with you?
I'm just saying, if I have
a problem with a bitch,
you have a problem with a bitch.
- And I got a problem
- [GWYNN CLEARS THROAT]
- with Donda Baptiste.
- Oh, my God.
Excuse my language, Mrs. Greene.
Okay, this is getting silly.
Uh, maybe everyone needs a snack.
I brought chocolate-covered
espresso beans.
[RENEE] Also, Whitney,
I've been meaning to ask you.
Is there a way
that we can uninvite Jason
to the wedding?
Uninviting a guest to a wedding
is extremely poor etiquette.
Oh, I'm sorry, Hope,
if that was unclear.
When I spoke directly to Whitney,
I was talking to Whitney.
Okay, well, as her maid of honor
Hope, we get it, you're
the fucking maid of honor.
[RENEE] And if he cannot be uninvited,
I was thinking perhaps maybe
I could bring a plus-one.
Hey!
You cannot plus-one cut-in-line.
I was gonna ask her
if I could bring Anderson.
Again, Anderson sucks.
Sondi, don't you have enough
Matthew drama in your life
to satiate your constant need
for male loathing?
Are you guys serious right now?
None of this is appropriate
for what we are trying
to do here, ladies.
Renee, Sondi, Ella,
closed-door session now!
[ELLA] I didn't even do anything.
[SONDI] Oh, you didn't? Interesting.
Ah.
Ah, ah! Whit, get your girl.
Hope, you don't need what they need.
Okay, I'm just gonna
stand out here and eavesdrop.
[WHITNEY] What is wrong with you?
I have enough going on
with this wedding.
I certainly don't need you three
showing your entire
asses in front of my mother.
Whitney, I swear I didn't do anything.
Oh, please.
I could hear your never-ending
"This Is Us" relationship drama
and you sniping off about
that damn Baptiste woman.
- [RENEE] Mm-hmm.
- [WHITNEY] And, Renee,
Jason is in the wedding,
which you know,
because you two were
supposed to be giving a toast.
So no, I will not ask my future husband
to uninvite your future ex-husband.
And no, you cannot bring
some rando to my wedding.
And, Ella,
my ambivalence about Anderson aside,
he is not invited,
because Renee cannot bring a plus-one,
thus you cannot bring a plus-one,
because y'all.
[SIGHS]
So can you please
start being the friends
that I very much need right now
instead of acting like a bunch of women
who were cast as
friends in a reality show
but have never actually met?
And can you be nice to Hope?
She flew all the way
from Sacramento, and frankly,
she's the only one currently acting
like a decent human being.
[HOPE] Thank you!
[WHITNEY SIGHS]
I'm sorry, Whitney.
I'm so sorry.
So
would this be a bad time
to ask the seamstress
about that slit?
[ELLA] God, get out of here.
Oh!
Wait, don't leave me in here.
[SOFT JAZZY MUSIC PLAYS]
♪
The foie gras sounds delicious.
Foie gras is really fatty,
so obviously, I can't eat that.
[CELL PHONE BUZZES]
Hey, babe.
[OLA] Hey, you.
Hey, future son-in-law!
[OLA] Hey, Mama Greene.
How'd it go today?
She looked stunning.
They all did. I took pictures.
Mom, he's not supposed
to see me in the dress
- until the wedding.
- Relax.
I was only gonna show him the girls.
[OLA] Uh, I am so sorry.
I just got a page.
I gotta go.
Uh, I'll catch you guys later?
Bye, sweetie.
[LINE BEEPING]
Honey
you seem angry.
Can we please just enjoy dinner?
Sure.
But something is up.
I know I shouldn't dig
because it's only gonna
make things worse,
but you're mad at me.
You're mad at your friends.
Why are you so mad?
I just have a lot going on,
trying to make sure that Ola's
happy and you're happy.
Oh, this isn't about me.
You have made it very clear
you only want me involved
in this wedding in a perfunctory way.
Not true.
I'm having the wedding
that you have always
- wanted me to have.
- Am I missing something?
The wedding that you've
always talked about.
If it were up to me, Ola and I
would've eloped years ago.
But I know how much that
would've broken your heart.
So here we are with a
boatload of your friends
and a cake when I don't even like cake.
Oh, hell, Whitney.
All I want is for you to
be happy, whole, healthy.
Why do you think I
call you every morning?
You don't share much about your work.
You keep your relationship
with Ola incredibly private.
You tell me more about Renee and Ella
than you do about yourself.
Well, you always ask about them.
I'm just trying to keep
you on the phone.
I go as far as you let me.
Sometimes I'm afraid to talk you.
You are more successful
than I ever was,
and maybe you think that means
I don't have anything to offer.
But I can tell you this,
this pressure you're
putting on yourself
is gonna catch up.
[EXHALES HEAVILY]
I am trying so hard.
[GWYNN] Why?
Sweetie, you should be savoring
every moment of this.
Your father and I have been
married for 33 years.
We just spent months stuck
in a house alone together.
That, my love, was work.
[CHUCKLES]
This should be the
best time of your life.
I don't want you to
pretend to be happy.
I want you to be happy.
- And do everything right.
- [GWYNN] Listen.
I raised you to be exceptional,
because you are.
I'm not going to apologize
for expecting you
to be the phenomenal woman
sitting across from me.
♪
I just wish you would let me in.
♪
[SERVER] Are you ladies ready to order?
Yeah.
Um
we'll have the foie gras
and bread and butter to start
and two old-fashioneds.
We have a lot to catch up on.
Sounds perfect.
♪
[MID-TEMPO JAZZY MUSIC PLAYS]
♪
[WOMAN] Whoo-hoo![GIGGLES]