Sarah Palin's Alaska (2010) s01e05 Episode Script
Alaskan Hospitality
Where's bristol? This weekend, we're going camping, And we're bringing some new friends.
How are you? Good.
So good to meet you.
Kate gosselin and her kids were already in alaska Filming "kate plus eight.
" Is this really real? Yeah, sarah's dad shot this a few years ago.
So, we're gonna show them what this great state is all about And any time you camp in alaska, You have to be prepared for bears.
It's gonna go here.
Stay down.
Out in this territory, anything can happen, But it's nothing my shotgun can't handle.
He's moving! Get him! Get him, sarah! Yeah! Look at that! Camping up here is rugged and not for everyone.
It's horrible.
They eat eggs? They love eggs more than everything.
No, no, no, no.
It's mine, it's mine.
This is not ideal conditions.
I am freezing to the bone.
I have9 layers on.
My hands are frigid.
Come on.
It wasn't that bad.
you need a place to be your sanctuary follow me there come on, follow me there where love, like a river, flows peace like you've never known and joy never-ending lives won't you follow me there? won't you follow me there? where love, like a river, flows peace like you've never known and joy never-ending lives a place where faith can find hope that will never die follow me there come on, follow me there Captions by vitac Captions paid for by discovery communications This morning, I'm heading out to meet my dad At our local gun shop Taking off? Taking off.
To pick up a new firearm for our upcoming camping trip Because you shouldn't camp in alaska without one.
It is bear country, after all.
Hi! How are you guys? We cheer for you all the time.
Thank you so much.
You got my back.
I got your back.
We got your back.
I appreciate this.
In alaska, especially, the local gun store Is equivalent to the local barber shop.
What are we doing? There he is! Hey! Chuck, how you doing, bud? Hi.
For some of the folks around town, Like my dad, it's a second home.
It's agreed on with everyone You don't have to tell anyone where wasilla is anymore.
Well, good or bad, you know? yeah.
Okay.
I was gonna ask the guys, what's the best bear gun? A big one.
A big one.
.
22 should be the perfect gun for you.
Ooh, it's really light.
Say I'm going camping with a gal Who's never camped before out in our wilds, anyway.
She's got a lot of kids.
Never having done this before, She's gonna rely on me to protect her.
What is the gun that fits that bill? Well, the gun would be the shotgun.
This is for bear? This is for bear.
Okay.
And you can adjust it how, then? Squeeze that thing there and just push it forward.
Oh, yeah.
There's six different positions there That you can adjust it.
Being out and about in alaska's wilds, It's more common than not to see somebody Having some kind of weapon on their person.
In fact, it's probably as commonplace As if you're walking in new york city And you see somebody with a blackberry on their hip.
How many shots? In the 3-inch magnum, you'll get 5 of them in there.
In a 23/4, you'll get 6.
And that's pretty much all you need Because if you ain't got it done by six Yeah.
Coming after you.
I have a picture on the wall Before we head out on our camping trip this weekend, We gathered up the gang for a palin family tradition Hiking our local mountain, the butte.
Four generations of our family are here today.
My parents are here, todd and I are here, And a brother and a sister, and then all of our kids, And then now even a grandchild is here.
Lead the charge, mighty warriors! Come on, bo! When's the first time we ever climbed this thing? 40 years ago.
It was about '69 or '70.
It's a wonderful thing to have grown up being able to do, And now our kids get to do it.
oh, my gosh.
I'm starving, and I'm thirsty.
I bet those girls are still running.
This is a shortcut? You take the shortcut, todd.
I'll meet You take the high road.
I'll take the low road.
You want to take it? And I'll be there before the Okay, we'll meet you there.
Okay, bye.
You have a beautiful view from the top of the butte That is worth the climb, And I'm back here as the trail-sweeper, Really, right now, Waiting to pick up bodies as I go.
We'll see if the kids all make it.
Good job.
How do you feel? Not good.
Good.
Can someone lift him? Bo, you're gonna have to be an animal and jump.
What are you doing with a Ah, mom, grab him! Don't panic, willow.
Now, this is kind of the hard part.
We're almost there.
Look how pretty it is, kier.
I'm lost.
Where am I? Oh, my gosh.
Look how close they get.
It's the national enquirer.
Where's bristol? It's a good question when people ask me If I think that the kids will someday get into politics.
They're all quite independent, And they see some of the brutality That comes along with being in the political arena, But I think they're all gonna find their own niche.
Hi, bo.
Hi, bo.
This is majestic.
It's worth the effort to get up here.
The view from the top is just absolutely astounding.
I never tire of this view.
Here we have the knik glacier on one side of us.
We can see anchorage from here.
On a clear day, you can see mount mckinley, And on a really clear day, You can see russia from here Almost.
Mrs.
Barnes left you one last times table.
You need to at least finish that assignment for her So that she's not disappointed.
Hey, where's the calculator, mom? Nope.
She doesn't want you to use a calculator.
Well, I don't know how to do my 12s.
You do.
Piper, no calculator.
There isn't a calculator on it! Let me see.
Let me see.
See, no calculator.
Oh, good.
Piper! Hmm? You're cheating.
You said there's no calculator on that.
Oops.
Hi, will.
So, willow, are you ready to go camping tomorrow? It's gonna be fun! Piper, you ready to go camping? I grew up camping pretty much every weekend, And we try to do the same with our kids.
There's one little surprise, though, for piper.
Remember I told you it was gonna be even more fun Than the last time? Yeah.
'cause this time, you get to bring a friend.
How about a whole bunch of friends? oh, sure.
How would you like to go camping with kate and her eight kids, That tv show you watch? Yay! I hear that they want to stop by and meet you And tag along on your next camping trip.
Are you ready for this? Yeah.
So, it's gonna be great, isn't it? Piper's a big fan of the eight kids, And we knew they were already in alaska.
We always get a kick out of introducing people From outside of alaska To what it is we do for our recreation and our sport.
Piper What's going on? Yep! Who's out there? Kate! How do you know? It's her van.
Willow, come here and look.
So I hear you guys are going camping.
You're gonna have a high population of bears.
It's gonna go Aah! Stay down.
Here! I would die of a heart attack.
Oh, my goodness gracious.
Come here.
What a most beautiful family.
Say "hi.
" hi, guys! Come on in! Kate gosselin and her eight kids Were already in alaska filming their show, And we're all going camping tomorrow.
How are you? Good.
So good to meet you.
Come on in here.
Come here.
Wow.
Beautiful view.
Come on in! Go ahead, sit.
Look, there's a bear on the floor did anyone notice? We saw that.
His mouth is disgusting.
That would be a nice, snuggly bed on the floor, wouldn't it? Was the tongue removable before? Yes, it was.
Oh, perfect, 'cause it is now.
Okay, put it back in, please.
That's a little bit scary.
Is this really real? Like, this was once walking outside? Yeah, sarah's dad shot this a few years ago.
What? He looks like an old man bear.
Hey, do you guys want to walk next door and see some things? Here, todd, let's go show them.
I admire her for being a strong woman who doesn't back down, Who doesn't let the world's opinion of her Change her or get to her.
My mom has another job that she goes on tv, And she sits in that and talks to people.
This is my we're still building it, But my office where I do my fox news hits from here.
Oh, good.
So you can do it from home, of course.
Yes, I can do it from home.
And, you know, we've got our neighbor right there.
I heard.
We had to build that fence, But, of course, he doesn't know you're here.
I mean, I've been through it all, but that shocks me.
That's why we don't do a lot of things In the front of the yard anymore.
Well, we share the same thing, 'cause we couldn't be in our front yard, we have Well, all the paparazzi pictures you see are out front.
There's not a whole lot of people that I run into That can understand the scrutiny, the media and beyond.
So, kate, this used to be our play area, mostly, With the trampoline and stuff on there, but not anymore And only you can relate to this.
That's because he is three feet behind that fence.
Oh! You know, I think that kate and I probably have a lot in common.
I know, certainly, we will put our children first.
Hey, you guys, so, you know the plan is to go camping with you, right? That's why we're crossing our fingers, We're praying for sunshine so it's pleasant out there.
Listen, kids, too.
What we'll do, though, is we'll make sure That your mom knows everything she needs to know About avoiding bears And staying warm And how to survive out there.
And the name of the course is "learn to return," Which, as the name implies, Means there's a possibility that We hope that there are mothers left To take care of their children.
We hope that we can return.
And we'll learn how to do that.
I can beat that one up.
While the kids stay with their nanny, We wanted to bring kate along to get ready for our camping trip, Just so that she has a little bit more confidence And some more knowledge About what it is that she's going to be Potentially faced with out there.
You just never know out in alaska, Out in the wilderness, what you could encounter.
Okay, so, we are headed to a class.
I brought willow along Because she needs a little refresher course, as well.
What are we doing here, mom? We're learning about bears And learning how to survive out in the wild.
Give me the firearm, and I'll take care of it.
my gosh.
I will.
I'll stick with you.
Okay.
I'll just scream.
I don't think that'll help.
It helps scare away bears screaming.
Does it? Otherwise, you have to run and you have to try to climb a tree, But the black bear can climb the tree faster than you can.
You need a partner with you who's slower than you, Is what the bottom line is.
Oh, my gosh.
Sacrifice your friends? There we go.
Yeah, yeah.
We both run I'm telling you, I run faster than you.
Whew.
Hello! Hi, sarah, I'm brian horner.
You're the boss, huh? I'm the boss, at least today.
Hi.
Kate, nice to meet you.
Hi.
Kate.
I'm willow.
Willow, I'm brian horner.
Come on in, guys.
This session here, willow, Is a lot more familiar to you than it is to them The academic setting.
Let me tell you what goes on here.
Not only are we gonna expose you to a normal bear class, But we need to show you what a bear guard does In the state of alaska.
Guards, the difference being, Are responsible for other people.
Here's your danger zones.
Yellow is brown-bear attacks.
Triangles are black-bear attacks.
White used to be polar bear.
Anyway, so, I hear you guys are going camping.
And I don't know where you're going camping, But you can have a high population of black bears, Or you could have a high population of brown bears.
No.
A little down.
Down? In the most concentrated yellow dots.
There we go.
Whoo! Yeah! Are you kidding me? It'll be okay.
Kind of looks like a radiation zone.
It'll be okay.
I would die of a heart attack.
Is this the scare-tactic part? This is the scare tactic part.
You're at the phase now you're saying, "this should have e e e e e ep to vegas instead.
" I know that.
Oh, trust me.
I'm there.
Can I use you for this? All right.
Come back safely.
Come back safely "learn to return.
" Learn to return, okay.
So, I want you to meet this bear member.
This is meeting.
When this thing opens up, Then that is what you would be meeting, is that.
So, what happens is, you're standing there, And you're gonna want him not to hit you first, So you say, "no, bear.
" No, bear.
He might do that.
A human voice Is what we're trying to train these bears to respond to.
But you'd be screaming it.
No, no, don't.
You meet a bear Just Does it.
Hi, I'm brian horner.
That's how you meet a bear.
You don't go, "hey, I'm brian warner!" That's gonna scare them.
It makes you freak out, right? So, she wants to say He's trying to retrain my yeah.
"hey, bear.
" now, here's the deal.
We used to have people fall to the ground In a curled-up ball, right? So, I want you to go down here, roll on your stomach, And put your good hand on the back of your neck.
Good hand.
Cover it with your bad hand.
Stick your face down on the ground in the snow.
Don't ever move it ever, ever, no matter what happens.
Now, here's what the bear's gonna do.
Bear's gonna hit you three times.
It's gonna go Aah! Stay down.
It's gonna go here Stay down.
And then sorry to say here, willow It's gonna go here and bite you there.
It left a tooth behind, and guess what It can do that, too.
I'm probably more scared now.
I cannot promise that I would not scream.
I cannot promise that I would not run.
So, I don't know if I'll pass this class.
So, these are the weapons that I have, And I see that you brought your own.
Yes.
I brought my own.
Can I take a look at it? Oh, absolutely.
Just gonna lay it out here like that for a second.
I've never seen so many guns in my life before.
Oh, yeah.
That's pretty.
That's pretty.
You ready for this? Um You got to trust me.
All right.
That's what we do here.
We make people uncomfortable for just a short period of time.
Yeah, I'm not really into this.
All right, come on up.
Even for those who may think, maybe, on a political level That they are anti-gun, They need to realize, if you are unarmed And you're out in the wilderness And, perhaps, you're with children, camping Well, you're putting yourself and your family in danger If you are not armed, If you are not prepared for a predator.
so, that's open.
Okay.
Yeah.
Want to try this on? It's fashion here in alaska.
Hey, this and waders You'll fit right in.
Yeah.
This is probably not something you'll see again.
We're gonna go ahead and load in Things that we would shoot bears with.
Right.
Aw! Holy Get him, sarah! Yeah! We're preparing for our camping trip with kate and her kids, So we're at the gun range For the last part of our bear safety class.
This is really nice.
This is nice.
We're gonna first start off with the idea Of not killing bears just scaring bears.
And I'm really into that.
This we're gonna start out with Is the first round that doesn't even touch the bear.
You need your earplugs for this, though.
Or stick your fingers in your ears.
Why? What are we shooting? We are shooting what is called a bear-distraction round.
If this animal is anywhere near you And I set this off, he will be distracted.
So, what'll happen is, it'll not go anywhere The concussion will occur right at the end of the barrel.
Can I try one? Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
It doesn't touch the bear? Nothing.
Nothing hits the bear.
It's just a firecracker that stays right at the end of the barrel.
Go ahead and pop that off.
There you go.
Whoa! Holy cow! Yeah.
That feels good.
It does.
And it smells good.
Oh, she says, "that feels good.
" Okay, that scares the bear.
It's just a big firecracker.
No, but that fire's gonna go But the bear is so scared of that We're so happy with this new thing.
Doesn't start fires, you know.
Doesn't touch the bear.
Okay.
Front toward the enemy.
Okay, now, we're gonna slide that forward.
Slide it.
Perfect.
And your safety's still on.
That's it, right in there.
Good.
Step forward with that leg, remember? Tuck your cheek into it.
Hold on, let me get your safety.
Your safety is now off.
Just squeeze it.
There we go.
And you don't even have to aim.
You just have to pull the trigger.
Sheesh! Whoo! That's the ultimate stunt blank.
All right, so If you're gonna hit him with something heavy, You're gonna hit him with a bean bag.
Let's take a look.
Yeah, all right.
You want to give it a try? All right.
All right, come on.
Here we go.
We're gonna drop that right into there.
I can't say I'm a gun advocate, necessarily, But there's nothing that I wouldn't do To protect my kids, so If yeah, I had to use a gun to save my kids, absolutely.
All right.
I'm gonna turn with you, like this, okay? I'm gonna push the safety off for you.
Safety is now off.
What else am I doing? That gun's ready to go.
And just slowly squeeze.
Slowly squeeze.
Pull the trigger.
yeah! Nice whack! Ohh! That was a good shot.
Where did I hit it? Lower right shoulder.
All right, all of these are hazing rounds So we don't have to shoot a bear.
Sometimes we're alone, and we get surprised.
Then we have to shoot a bear.
We're gonna go ahead and load in Things that we would shoot bears with.
Right.
Jack that in.
Your safety's on.
There you go.
Now, you are ready to rock.
Oh! Ah, okay! Yeah, that's a little different, isn't it? That's a little different! Crazy.
She's crazy.
I was just gonna say that.
That was a great shot.
Well, that rubs the cheek, doesn't it? yeah, look at that! That is picture-perfect.
I think mom should defend the camp tonight.
I'll protect you.
That is beautiful shooting.
That is.
That is.
Now, here's the big problem it ain't 600 pounds.
It ain't charging at you.
I think I'd like to start that bear back there, charging at you.
Okay.
All right, let's see if we can do that.
Now, I want you to look at that bear at that distance.
From right at this line, where you're at, If that bear was running at 20 miles an hour, It would hit you in 2.
8 seconds.
Right.
So we're gonna see if you can hit that animal.
It's gonna start moving.
I won't say anything.
Your job is to knock that safety off And start shooting that bear as many times as you can.
So do I say when or you? I no.
There's no "when" with bears.
Hey, bear! Hey, bear, don't move! Hey, bear! Don't move, bear! He's moving.
Get him! Get him, sarah! Get him, sarah! Oh, yeah, yeah! Oh, then I use the bayonet! That's beautiful.
That's how you want to hit a bear.
Both of those right in the kill zone.
That's good.
I stopped him.
We're safe.
We're good.
I shall protect you.
That is beautiful.
I'm hiding behind her.
Gosh, I can't imagine being out there in the woods And actually having that happen to you with a real bear.
Just no time to react.
It has to be instinct.
That's a clean, beautiful shot.
Not only do I have a responsibility for my family, But I kind of feel that I have some responsibility For kate and her kids, too.
I want her to be confident.
I want them to have a good time.
Part of that enjoyment is feeling safe, So I feel a responsibility to keep her safe tomorrow.
You're on gun duty.
Everyone shall be protected, and we'll have a good time And I hope we do see an animal.
Maybe further away than the target we just saw.
Uh, yeah.
With binoculars.
We'll have a blast.
It'll be good.
All right.
Before we camp tomorrow, We're gonna head over to my dad's house So kate and her kids can meet the rest of our family Who will be joining us.
Oh, my! Come here, kids.
We're gonna show you a few alaskan things.
My dad, as a school-teacher for many, many years, A science teacher He wants people to know what nature is about And what this earth is made of and what it has to offer, So his house reflects that.
He's found and collected all of these amazing artifacts, Some a little stranger than others.
See those antlers there? They're stuck together there.
They died that way.
Two animals fighting together and died.
How would you like to fight With someone you hate and then die that way? There you go, kids.
Don't fight.
There's the moral of the story.
This is a beaver skull, And this is what the beaver did.
Ahh.
Look at this dog.
Look at the quills on it.
A whale has a big tooth like this.
Sarah's dad's house Is like a museum or a work of art.
It's really, really fascinating.
This foot right here comes from a turkey.
And the kids are being very entertained by him.
I think they could probably just stay here, And they wouldn't notice that I left.
You know what a porcupine is? What are those? Those are quills.
Don't touch them.
He'll just show you from a distance.
I'll show you.
See that? Oh, don't be the example.
Children, do not try this at home.
You see, it's stuck in my arm.
Easy.
See that, how it grabs? If I left it here, that would work in.
A porcupine has 50,000 of those.
Let me show you some things over here.
Oh, oh, oh! What? Oh, my! Nothing prepared me for seeing all of the animals, And I screamed.
It was shocking.
Oh, my gosh! Sometimes alaska's uniqueness, Our ruggedness, and unusual lifestyle Is really a mystery to people in the lower 48.
That is crazy, sarah.
I know.
So, my dad's dog that's bo antler hunts.
That's what you were saying.
He finds the antlers.
The dog does he bring them back? He's trained just to do that.
I'm almost as big as you.
Almost.
Coming over to my folk's house, I thought that was nice That kate wanted her kids to learn from my dad.
Hang on! The kids were fascinated, and they had a hands-on history And natural-environment lesson right there at their fingertips.
Mmm.
And we can't wait to get them out into the wilds of alaska.
Rain or shine, alaskans still camp.
Are you kidding me? Doesn't the lodge sound much more exciting to you? Okay, I'll go stoke the fire, And we'll go stoke some fun! It's horrible.
Piper, lots of rain gear is needed.
Today, we're taking kate gosselin and her kids camping, And we're heading out before them to set up camp To make things more comfortable.
I'm thankful that we have the family Being able to enjoy the great outdoors together Despite the rain.
We're going to chelatna lake, Near the southern border of denali national park.
The only way in or out is by floatplane.
It's beautiful out here! It is.
This is amazing.
We are in the middle of nowhere, but we get to focus on family And kind of get back to some roots and get back to things That are traditional for us that mean a lot.
It's a beach! This is perfect! Oh, my gosh.
I can honestly say I have never camped for real.
I wish it wasn't so cold and rainy.
I got adults going on this, don't I? What? There are adults going on this? Yes.
Hello, here we are.
Go put that on the fire.
Let's make us a big fire.
Go ahead.
You ready? I'm ready.
Duck.
Don't hit me.
You make a good logger.
I do, I do.
Look at this, todd.
The plane.
Is that them? Yeah.
Okay, let's go help these guys land and unload.
Hello! Are you kidding me? Doesn't the lodge sound much more exciting to you? Rain or shine, alaskans still camp.
We still find a way to have fun And enjoy every new experience we have Out in the great outdoors.
I sure hope the kids will enjoy this.
We know that we will.
We already put up some tents and built a fire, So it's all good.
Let's go.
You guys follow piper.
Just keep going, baby.
I'm behind you.
Honey, go ahead, it's all right.
We never did spray the kids with bug spray, Which is a very big problem.
You guys will love this.
You'll have something to tell your classmates When you go back home.
They did this before there was houses.
Why do you do it now? You really like this? What's good is when the fire's roaring, When it gets warm, And if we catch a fish or two, that's exciting.
Look at how gorgeous this place is.
You're surrounded by mountains.
This is the beauty of alaska.
Safety meeting! Kids, we're gonna teach you how to be safe.
Go ahead.
Go hear what they have to say.
Okay, you guys, everybody listen to mr.
Heath.
Okay, kids.
He's gonna tell you how to be safe.
The main thing I want you guys to remember is, There's wild animals around here, But we're safe in numbers.
You can make all the noise you want.
The more noise you make, the better off it is.
That's the best thing to do, is scare bears away.
If they do come in camp, You just get all together.
We'll protect you.
I'm not worried about bears right now.
I'm just worried about keeping my toes wiggling, 'cause they're freezing.
Okay, I'll go stoke the fire, And we'll go stoke some fun! Woo-hoo! Whoa, what is that? These are the teeth from spawning salmon.
When the salmon come upstream to lay their eggs, They start to grow these teeth so they can fight other fish.
Sometimes all the bears do is bite the salmon's stomachs, And they suck the eggs out of them.
They eat eggs? They love eggs more than everything.
No, no, no, no.
It's mine, it's mine.
You guys want to go bring these to the other kids? The kids got a kick out of chuck showing the salmon jaw, The little teeth that are in a salmon's mouth, To see that that's how a fish eats They have teeth, too.
Sharp salmon teeth.
Mommy, salmon teeth! I know.
I heard.
That's neat, huh? Where's the rest of him? I'm hungry.
Careful, guys.
Watch out.
Did you get something? Nope.
I'm gonna watch your hook.
Here you go.
It might come back and hit you.
Aah! it's stuck! The kids they're having fun.
I don't know if kate's having fun, though.
Yes, I've been bitten about 200 times already.
It's horrible.
The kids are having fun, so I'm tolerating it, But this is my new home dryness, under the tent.
We need more wood.
Does anybody want to come find some firewood? You can help me with firewood, yes.
Sorry I'm miserable, But, I mean, somebody's got to be.
We have an axe, we have a machete, But we don't have a chain saw.
Kids will always have fun If they're being productive and helpful and pitching in.
Let it dry out here.
We're gonna try to keep the fire A little bit more bundled up here Instead of sprawled all over the place.
Yeah, just, like, set it there.
You want to help the fire go? Thatagirl.
Good job, little girl.
This is cruel and unusual punishment.
This where I'll be the whole time.
I'm paralyzed.
These are delicious.
Who wants a hamburger? I am freezing to the bone.
I have 19 layers on.
Come on.
It wasn't that bad.
Camping is a palin family tradition.
We know how important it is to get away from it all, And we want to show kate and her kids That there's a lot of room For people to come here and unwind And get in touch with themselves, With what they need to remember is really important in life.
I'm standing in this Not-rain.
That's what I'm doing.
I have to admit I wasn't terribly opposed to it Camping, I mean but in the rain? No way.
Hey, guys, come over this way.
We're making a map.
Want to help? Let's see if See if you guys can carry 10 rocks each.
I was so thankful that the kids Had this opportunity with my brother To learn these really neat things.
Making a map of alaska, Giving them a little geography lesson It looked like they were having a a a a a a a a.
Look at how pretty this is, you guys.
I love it! Wait, you guys.
Listen to this If we were right here, Guess what we could see Over our shoulder? Russia.
Swear to god! I swear to god! Willow, go get the package of hot dogs and marshmallows, The s'mores ingredients.
I give up on todd catching a fish.
We can use that as some kind of grill for hamburgers.
We'll try to make everybody happy.
It's gonna be fun.
This is the most luxurious camping spot I've ever seen.
Piper, get hamburger patties, please.
Just kills me that people, like, willingly do this.
I can't get over it.
I mean, that is so shocking to me.
Ooh, yum.
These are delicious, you guys.
Here.
Who wanted that one? Who wants a hamburger? Is this one ready? Not quite.
You be careful.
I want some marshmallows.
Okay.
Can I have some? Go ask your mother.
You want some ketchup or mustard? Both, please.
Okay.
Those are moose.
Moose hot dogs.
What is it? A moose hot dog.
I need ketchup.
Okay, this is fun stuff.
This is cool.
We're gonna do the s'mores.
Todd, you want to grab a stick? I stick them in the fire until they catch on fire, I stick them in the fire till they catch on fire, And then I blow them out And then they're crispy on the outside and gooey on the inside.
Isn't that perfect? That's, like, one of the best desserts in the whole world.
We are not camng people.
I'll scream it from mountaintops.
I mean, this is just ridiculous.
Why would you pretend to be homeless? I don't get it.
I just don't get the concept.
There's no paper towels.
Like, how do you make sandwiches for eight kids on your arm? I don't see a table.
I don't see utensils.
I don't see hand-cleansing materials.
This is not ideal conditions.
I am freezing to the bone.
I have 19 layers on.
My hands are frigid.
I held it together as long as I could, and I'm done now.
I'm hungry! This is fun for you? That's very interesting.
Are you escaping? You're smarter than you look, honey.
This is our where our likenesses end.
Dead stop.
Kate, she had never felt more out of her element Than out there camping, But, you know, deep inside, I think Come on.
It wasn't that bad.
Geez, we had a tent over our head.
Even though I'm the crazy one, supposedly, And everyone else is normal That requires being crazy, I'm crazy.
Well, I got to get a salmon here.
All right.
Are you staying down here by yourself? Huh? Are you escaping? Now I get it.
You're smarter than you look, honey.
Is this what you guys do here? This is fun for you? I like the rain.
That's very interesting.
Get over here and get warm.
There's no hope for me.
I'm freezing to the bone.
Now, get closer to the fire.
You'll warm up.
Kate was freaking out quite a bit.
It was out of her element.
The weather was bad.
It was rainy.
It was cold.
I'm cooking gloves.
But I never heard the kids complain.
They were into everything and throwing rocks And trying to fish, and the kids had a ball.
And I had a ball, too, watching them.
You ready to go? You want to stay.
You want to stay or go? Stay! Okay.
Goodbye.
You're now a palin.
You're not a gosselin.
We're deciding who's a palin and who's a gosselin.
Fine! I will go! This is getting perfect.
You're gonna love this one.
Sarah All hail you, amazon woman.
Are you having fun? This is where our likenesses end.
Dead stop.
This is what we did for our fun and entertainment growing up.
We're out of here.
Thank you.
Oh, really?! Oh, yeah.
How are you gonna break it to the children? We're going where there's warmth and dryness.
Some creature comforts.
Are you staying here, for real? Yeah.
I have to put my bear training to use, right? my bear watch.
I'm just cold Like, e layers.
All right, say "bye.
" Okay.
Stay dry, stay warm.
Thank you.
Take care.
You guys stay warm.
Kate came up to me and said, "I'm out of here.
" She said, "you know, the kids were chilly, she was cold, And she would be more comfortable, As would the family, if they were not here.
Guys, leave it alone! Finish those, guys.
Sarah palin's alaska? Wow.
Gorgeous, amazing.
You could probably skip the camping part, in my opinion, But the sights are amazing.
Okay.
Have fun sleeping warm tonight.
Yeah, let's go.
Bye, guys.
Come on, mady.
You know, people from outside alaska, They have to be prepared, they have to not assume That the conditions are gonna be so ideal and warm And comfortable when you're out here in the wilderness.
I've grown up around this, so I'm used to this.
I love this.
Piper, do you want to walk them over to the boat? Mom, come on.
All right, I'll help her.
Hey, lookit.
Kind of clearing up, you guys.
You can see the mountain now.
I can see the mountaintop.
Well, I thought we were gonna go camping with the gosselins.
Turned out we didn't We had lunch with them on a sandbar.
She bitched every From the minute she got off the plane.
I suppose if shf took me to, like, new york city On some red-carpet event, I'd be the same way.
Like, "eh, get me home.
" yeah, yeah.
You're probably okay.
I know.
Mom! She's crazy! Who's stronger? Me.
Because of the rain and because it's kind of chilly, I think, physically even, people are brought closer together.
Family kind of tightens up, and that's good.
You know, we huddle around the campfire.
Go! Go! What's the easternmost state? Do you know, willow? Yeah.
What? Alaska.
Alaska.
The conditions are ripe and right for nice family time, For those things that, too often in our busy lives, We don't take the time to do.
How about this, you guys? Largest earthquake recorded in north america? 28.
4.
A lot of people across america probably think We are the biggest nerd family in america 'cause we get a kick out of playing charades, And we get a kick out of telling stories around the campfire, But it's something that we have done all of our lives, And I'm sure that kate and the kids Are probably content and warm, and I can understand Why, perhaps, under shelter, they seem more comfortable.
Listen first, we're gonna make sure, Before we go to bed, that all the meat is put away So that bears can't smell it.
Okay, I think everything's bear-proof.
I think the food's all put away.
Kate and the kids really missed out on a great experience.
I'm ready to go to bed.
Piper, you have to go to bed.
It's very late.
It won't get dark, so we're not waiting for dark.
Who has the bear gun? I will have the firearm in my tent.
Yell for sarah.
Even in an experience like a camping trip, You challenge yourself, and you see what you're made of.
I think her kids would have had a good time And never would have forgotten spending the night Out there in the tents in the wilderness of alaska.
Goodnight, grandma.
Goodnight, girls.
Goodnight, mom.
I love you.
I have to pee.
Willow has to pee! What? That's enough, willow.
Next time, on "sarah palin's alaska" Oh, yeah! Whoo! Here we go! Yeah! Whoo! Don't be scared.
Okay, I'm gonna show you what to do.
I shattered it! Welcome to my office! Your office.
This is awesome.
I assume I know everything that I need to know about mushing.
Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Oh, my gosh! Look at this!
How are you? Good.
So good to meet you.
Kate gosselin and her kids were already in alaska Filming "kate plus eight.
" Is this really real? Yeah, sarah's dad shot this a few years ago.
So, we're gonna show them what this great state is all about And any time you camp in alaska, You have to be prepared for bears.
It's gonna go here.
Stay down.
Out in this territory, anything can happen, But it's nothing my shotgun can't handle.
He's moving! Get him! Get him, sarah! Yeah! Look at that! Camping up here is rugged and not for everyone.
It's horrible.
They eat eggs? They love eggs more than everything.
No, no, no, no.
It's mine, it's mine.
This is not ideal conditions.
I am freezing to the bone.
I have9 layers on.
My hands are frigid.
Come on.
It wasn't that bad.
you need a place to be your sanctuary follow me there come on, follow me there where love, like a river, flows peace like you've never known and joy never-ending lives won't you follow me there? won't you follow me there? where love, like a river, flows peace like you've never known and joy never-ending lives a place where faith can find hope that will never die follow me there come on, follow me there Captions by vitac Captions paid for by discovery communications This morning, I'm heading out to meet my dad At our local gun shop Taking off? Taking off.
To pick up a new firearm for our upcoming camping trip Because you shouldn't camp in alaska without one.
It is bear country, after all.
Hi! How are you guys? We cheer for you all the time.
Thank you so much.
You got my back.
I got your back.
We got your back.
I appreciate this.
In alaska, especially, the local gun store Is equivalent to the local barber shop.
What are we doing? There he is! Hey! Chuck, how you doing, bud? Hi.
For some of the folks around town, Like my dad, it's a second home.
It's agreed on with everyone You don't have to tell anyone where wasilla is anymore.
Well, good or bad, you know? yeah.
Okay.
I was gonna ask the guys, what's the best bear gun? A big one.
A big one.
.
22 should be the perfect gun for you.
Ooh, it's really light.
Say I'm going camping with a gal Who's never camped before out in our wilds, anyway.
She's got a lot of kids.
Never having done this before, She's gonna rely on me to protect her.
What is the gun that fits that bill? Well, the gun would be the shotgun.
This is for bear? This is for bear.
Okay.
And you can adjust it how, then? Squeeze that thing there and just push it forward.
Oh, yeah.
There's six different positions there That you can adjust it.
Being out and about in alaska's wilds, It's more common than not to see somebody Having some kind of weapon on their person.
In fact, it's probably as commonplace As if you're walking in new york city And you see somebody with a blackberry on their hip.
How many shots? In the 3-inch magnum, you'll get 5 of them in there.
In a 23/4, you'll get 6.
And that's pretty much all you need Because if you ain't got it done by six Yeah.
Coming after you.
I have a picture on the wall Before we head out on our camping trip this weekend, We gathered up the gang for a palin family tradition Hiking our local mountain, the butte.
Four generations of our family are here today.
My parents are here, todd and I are here, And a brother and a sister, and then all of our kids, And then now even a grandchild is here.
Lead the charge, mighty warriors! Come on, bo! When's the first time we ever climbed this thing? 40 years ago.
It was about '69 or '70.
It's a wonderful thing to have grown up being able to do, And now our kids get to do it.
oh, my gosh.
I'm starving, and I'm thirsty.
I bet those girls are still running.
This is a shortcut? You take the shortcut, todd.
I'll meet You take the high road.
I'll take the low road.
You want to take it? And I'll be there before the Okay, we'll meet you there.
Okay, bye.
You have a beautiful view from the top of the butte That is worth the climb, And I'm back here as the trail-sweeper, Really, right now, Waiting to pick up bodies as I go.
We'll see if the kids all make it.
Good job.
How do you feel? Not good.
Good.
Can someone lift him? Bo, you're gonna have to be an animal and jump.
What are you doing with a Ah, mom, grab him! Don't panic, willow.
Now, this is kind of the hard part.
We're almost there.
Look how pretty it is, kier.
I'm lost.
Where am I? Oh, my gosh.
Look how close they get.
It's the national enquirer.
Where's bristol? It's a good question when people ask me If I think that the kids will someday get into politics.
They're all quite independent, And they see some of the brutality That comes along with being in the political arena, But I think they're all gonna find their own niche.
Hi, bo.
Hi, bo.
This is majestic.
It's worth the effort to get up here.
The view from the top is just absolutely astounding.
I never tire of this view.
Here we have the knik glacier on one side of us.
We can see anchorage from here.
On a clear day, you can see mount mckinley, And on a really clear day, You can see russia from here Almost.
Mrs.
Barnes left you one last times table.
You need to at least finish that assignment for her So that she's not disappointed.
Hey, where's the calculator, mom? Nope.
She doesn't want you to use a calculator.
Well, I don't know how to do my 12s.
You do.
Piper, no calculator.
There isn't a calculator on it! Let me see.
Let me see.
See, no calculator.
Oh, good.
Piper! Hmm? You're cheating.
You said there's no calculator on that.
Oops.
Hi, will.
So, willow, are you ready to go camping tomorrow? It's gonna be fun! Piper, you ready to go camping? I grew up camping pretty much every weekend, And we try to do the same with our kids.
There's one little surprise, though, for piper.
Remember I told you it was gonna be even more fun Than the last time? Yeah.
'cause this time, you get to bring a friend.
How about a whole bunch of friends? oh, sure.
How would you like to go camping with kate and her eight kids, That tv show you watch? Yay! I hear that they want to stop by and meet you And tag along on your next camping trip.
Are you ready for this? Yeah.
So, it's gonna be great, isn't it? Piper's a big fan of the eight kids, And we knew they were already in alaska.
We always get a kick out of introducing people From outside of alaska To what it is we do for our recreation and our sport.
Piper What's going on? Yep! Who's out there? Kate! How do you know? It's her van.
Willow, come here and look.
So I hear you guys are going camping.
You're gonna have a high population of bears.
It's gonna go Aah! Stay down.
Here! I would die of a heart attack.
Oh, my goodness gracious.
Come here.
What a most beautiful family.
Say "hi.
" hi, guys! Come on in! Kate gosselin and her eight kids Were already in alaska filming their show, And we're all going camping tomorrow.
How are you? Good.
So good to meet you.
Come on in here.
Come here.
Wow.
Beautiful view.
Come on in! Go ahead, sit.
Look, there's a bear on the floor did anyone notice? We saw that.
His mouth is disgusting.
That would be a nice, snuggly bed on the floor, wouldn't it? Was the tongue removable before? Yes, it was.
Oh, perfect, 'cause it is now.
Okay, put it back in, please.
That's a little bit scary.
Is this really real? Like, this was once walking outside? Yeah, sarah's dad shot this a few years ago.
What? He looks like an old man bear.
Hey, do you guys want to walk next door and see some things? Here, todd, let's go show them.
I admire her for being a strong woman who doesn't back down, Who doesn't let the world's opinion of her Change her or get to her.
My mom has another job that she goes on tv, And she sits in that and talks to people.
This is my we're still building it, But my office where I do my fox news hits from here.
Oh, good.
So you can do it from home, of course.
Yes, I can do it from home.
And, you know, we've got our neighbor right there.
I heard.
We had to build that fence, But, of course, he doesn't know you're here.
I mean, I've been through it all, but that shocks me.
That's why we don't do a lot of things In the front of the yard anymore.
Well, we share the same thing, 'cause we couldn't be in our front yard, we have Well, all the paparazzi pictures you see are out front.
There's not a whole lot of people that I run into That can understand the scrutiny, the media and beyond.
So, kate, this used to be our play area, mostly, With the trampoline and stuff on there, but not anymore And only you can relate to this.
That's because he is three feet behind that fence.
Oh! You know, I think that kate and I probably have a lot in common.
I know, certainly, we will put our children first.
Hey, you guys, so, you know the plan is to go camping with you, right? That's why we're crossing our fingers, We're praying for sunshine so it's pleasant out there.
Listen, kids, too.
What we'll do, though, is we'll make sure That your mom knows everything she needs to know About avoiding bears And staying warm And how to survive out there.
And the name of the course is "learn to return," Which, as the name implies, Means there's a possibility that We hope that there are mothers left To take care of their children.
We hope that we can return.
And we'll learn how to do that.
I can beat that one up.
While the kids stay with their nanny, We wanted to bring kate along to get ready for our camping trip, Just so that she has a little bit more confidence And some more knowledge About what it is that she's going to be Potentially faced with out there.
You just never know out in alaska, Out in the wilderness, what you could encounter.
Okay, so, we are headed to a class.
I brought willow along Because she needs a little refresher course, as well.
What are we doing here, mom? We're learning about bears And learning how to survive out in the wild.
Give me the firearm, and I'll take care of it.
my gosh.
I will.
I'll stick with you.
Okay.
I'll just scream.
I don't think that'll help.
It helps scare away bears screaming.
Does it? Otherwise, you have to run and you have to try to climb a tree, But the black bear can climb the tree faster than you can.
You need a partner with you who's slower than you, Is what the bottom line is.
Oh, my gosh.
Sacrifice your friends? There we go.
Yeah, yeah.
We both run I'm telling you, I run faster than you.
Whew.
Hello! Hi, sarah, I'm brian horner.
You're the boss, huh? I'm the boss, at least today.
Hi.
Kate, nice to meet you.
Hi.
Kate.
I'm willow.
Willow, I'm brian horner.
Come on in, guys.
This session here, willow, Is a lot more familiar to you than it is to them The academic setting.
Let me tell you what goes on here.
Not only are we gonna expose you to a normal bear class, But we need to show you what a bear guard does In the state of alaska.
Guards, the difference being, Are responsible for other people.
Here's your danger zones.
Yellow is brown-bear attacks.
Triangles are black-bear attacks.
White used to be polar bear.
Anyway, so, I hear you guys are going camping.
And I don't know where you're going camping, But you can have a high population of black bears, Or you could have a high population of brown bears.
No.
A little down.
Down? In the most concentrated yellow dots.
There we go.
Whoo! Yeah! Are you kidding me? It'll be okay.
Kind of looks like a radiation zone.
It'll be okay.
I would die of a heart attack.
Is this the scare-tactic part? This is the scare tactic part.
You're at the phase now you're saying, "this should have e e e e e ep to vegas instead.
" I know that.
Oh, trust me.
I'm there.
Can I use you for this? All right.
Come back safely.
Come back safely "learn to return.
" Learn to return, okay.
So, I want you to meet this bear member.
This is meeting.
When this thing opens up, Then that is what you would be meeting, is that.
So, what happens is, you're standing there, And you're gonna want him not to hit you first, So you say, "no, bear.
" No, bear.
He might do that.
A human voice Is what we're trying to train these bears to respond to.
But you'd be screaming it.
No, no, don't.
You meet a bear Just Does it.
Hi, I'm brian horner.
That's how you meet a bear.
You don't go, "hey, I'm brian warner!" That's gonna scare them.
It makes you freak out, right? So, she wants to say He's trying to retrain my yeah.
"hey, bear.
" now, here's the deal.
We used to have people fall to the ground In a curled-up ball, right? So, I want you to go down here, roll on your stomach, And put your good hand on the back of your neck.
Good hand.
Cover it with your bad hand.
Stick your face down on the ground in the snow.
Don't ever move it ever, ever, no matter what happens.
Now, here's what the bear's gonna do.
Bear's gonna hit you three times.
It's gonna go Aah! Stay down.
It's gonna go here Stay down.
And then sorry to say here, willow It's gonna go here and bite you there.
It left a tooth behind, and guess what It can do that, too.
I'm probably more scared now.
I cannot promise that I would not scream.
I cannot promise that I would not run.
So, I don't know if I'll pass this class.
So, these are the weapons that I have, And I see that you brought your own.
Yes.
I brought my own.
Can I take a look at it? Oh, absolutely.
Just gonna lay it out here like that for a second.
I've never seen so many guns in my life before.
Oh, yeah.
That's pretty.
That's pretty.
You ready for this? Um You got to trust me.
All right.
That's what we do here.
We make people uncomfortable for just a short period of time.
Yeah, I'm not really into this.
All right, come on up.
Even for those who may think, maybe, on a political level That they are anti-gun, They need to realize, if you are unarmed And you're out in the wilderness And, perhaps, you're with children, camping Well, you're putting yourself and your family in danger If you are not armed, If you are not prepared for a predator.
so, that's open.
Okay.
Yeah.
Want to try this on? It's fashion here in alaska.
Hey, this and waders You'll fit right in.
Yeah.
This is probably not something you'll see again.
We're gonna go ahead and load in Things that we would shoot bears with.
Right.
Aw! Holy Get him, sarah! Yeah! We're preparing for our camping trip with kate and her kids, So we're at the gun range For the last part of our bear safety class.
This is really nice.
This is nice.
We're gonna first start off with the idea Of not killing bears just scaring bears.
And I'm really into that.
This we're gonna start out with Is the first round that doesn't even touch the bear.
You need your earplugs for this, though.
Or stick your fingers in your ears.
Why? What are we shooting? We are shooting what is called a bear-distraction round.
If this animal is anywhere near you And I set this off, he will be distracted.
So, what'll happen is, it'll not go anywhere The concussion will occur right at the end of the barrel.
Can I try one? Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
It doesn't touch the bear? Nothing.
Nothing hits the bear.
It's just a firecracker that stays right at the end of the barrel.
Go ahead and pop that off.
There you go.
Whoa! Holy cow! Yeah.
That feels good.
It does.
And it smells good.
Oh, she says, "that feels good.
" Okay, that scares the bear.
It's just a big firecracker.
No, but that fire's gonna go But the bear is so scared of that We're so happy with this new thing.
Doesn't start fires, you know.
Doesn't touch the bear.
Okay.
Front toward the enemy.
Okay, now, we're gonna slide that forward.
Slide it.
Perfect.
And your safety's still on.
That's it, right in there.
Good.
Step forward with that leg, remember? Tuck your cheek into it.
Hold on, let me get your safety.
Your safety is now off.
Just squeeze it.
There we go.
And you don't even have to aim.
You just have to pull the trigger.
Sheesh! Whoo! That's the ultimate stunt blank.
All right, so If you're gonna hit him with something heavy, You're gonna hit him with a bean bag.
Let's take a look.
Yeah, all right.
You want to give it a try? All right.
All right, come on.
Here we go.
We're gonna drop that right into there.
I can't say I'm a gun advocate, necessarily, But there's nothing that I wouldn't do To protect my kids, so If yeah, I had to use a gun to save my kids, absolutely.
All right.
I'm gonna turn with you, like this, okay? I'm gonna push the safety off for you.
Safety is now off.
What else am I doing? That gun's ready to go.
And just slowly squeeze.
Slowly squeeze.
Pull the trigger.
yeah! Nice whack! Ohh! That was a good shot.
Where did I hit it? Lower right shoulder.
All right, all of these are hazing rounds So we don't have to shoot a bear.
Sometimes we're alone, and we get surprised.
Then we have to shoot a bear.
We're gonna go ahead and load in Things that we would shoot bears with.
Right.
Jack that in.
Your safety's on.
There you go.
Now, you are ready to rock.
Oh! Ah, okay! Yeah, that's a little different, isn't it? That's a little different! Crazy.
She's crazy.
I was just gonna say that.
That was a great shot.
Well, that rubs the cheek, doesn't it? yeah, look at that! That is picture-perfect.
I think mom should defend the camp tonight.
I'll protect you.
That is beautiful shooting.
That is.
That is.
Now, here's the big problem it ain't 600 pounds.
It ain't charging at you.
I think I'd like to start that bear back there, charging at you.
Okay.
All right, let's see if we can do that.
Now, I want you to look at that bear at that distance.
From right at this line, where you're at, If that bear was running at 20 miles an hour, It would hit you in 2.
8 seconds.
Right.
So we're gonna see if you can hit that animal.
It's gonna start moving.
I won't say anything.
Your job is to knock that safety off And start shooting that bear as many times as you can.
So do I say when or you? I no.
There's no "when" with bears.
Hey, bear! Hey, bear, don't move! Hey, bear! Don't move, bear! He's moving.
Get him! Get him, sarah! Get him, sarah! Oh, yeah, yeah! Oh, then I use the bayonet! That's beautiful.
That's how you want to hit a bear.
Both of those right in the kill zone.
That's good.
I stopped him.
We're safe.
We're good.
I shall protect you.
That is beautiful.
I'm hiding behind her.
Gosh, I can't imagine being out there in the woods And actually having that happen to you with a real bear.
Just no time to react.
It has to be instinct.
That's a clean, beautiful shot.
Not only do I have a responsibility for my family, But I kind of feel that I have some responsibility For kate and her kids, too.
I want her to be confident.
I want them to have a good time.
Part of that enjoyment is feeling safe, So I feel a responsibility to keep her safe tomorrow.
You're on gun duty.
Everyone shall be protected, and we'll have a good time And I hope we do see an animal.
Maybe further away than the target we just saw.
Uh, yeah.
With binoculars.
We'll have a blast.
It'll be good.
All right.
Before we camp tomorrow, We're gonna head over to my dad's house So kate and her kids can meet the rest of our family Who will be joining us.
Oh, my! Come here, kids.
We're gonna show you a few alaskan things.
My dad, as a school-teacher for many, many years, A science teacher He wants people to know what nature is about And what this earth is made of and what it has to offer, So his house reflects that.
He's found and collected all of these amazing artifacts, Some a little stranger than others.
See those antlers there? They're stuck together there.
They died that way.
Two animals fighting together and died.
How would you like to fight With someone you hate and then die that way? There you go, kids.
Don't fight.
There's the moral of the story.
This is a beaver skull, And this is what the beaver did.
Ahh.
Look at this dog.
Look at the quills on it.
A whale has a big tooth like this.
Sarah's dad's house Is like a museum or a work of art.
It's really, really fascinating.
This foot right here comes from a turkey.
And the kids are being very entertained by him.
I think they could probably just stay here, And they wouldn't notice that I left.
You know what a porcupine is? What are those? Those are quills.
Don't touch them.
He'll just show you from a distance.
I'll show you.
See that? Oh, don't be the example.
Children, do not try this at home.
You see, it's stuck in my arm.
Easy.
See that, how it grabs? If I left it here, that would work in.
A porcupine has 50,000 of those.
Let me show you some things over here.
Oh, oh, oh! What? Oh, my! Nothing prepared me for seeing all of the animals, And I screamed.
It was shocking.
Oh, my gosh! Sometimes alaska's uniqueness, Our ruggedness, and unusual lifestyle Is really a mystery to people in the lower 48.
That is crazy, sarah.
I know.
So, my dad's dog that's bo antler hunts.
That's what you were saying.
He finds the antlers.
The dog does he bring them back? He's trained just to do that.
I'm almost as big as you.
Almost.
Coming over to my folk's house, I thought that was nice That kate wanted her kids to learn from my dad.
Hang on! The kids were fascinated, and they had a hands-on history And natural-environment lesson right there at their fingertips.
Mmm.
And we can't wait to get them out into the wilds of alaska.
Rain or shine, alaskans still camp.
Are you kidding me? Doesn't the lodge sound much more exciting to you? Okay, I'll go stoke the fire, And we'll go stoke some fun! It's horrible.
Piper, lots of rain gear is needed.
Today, we're taking kate gosselin and her kids camping, And we're heading out before them to set up camp To make things more comfortable.
I'm thankful that we have the family Being able to enjoy the great outdoors together Despite the rain.
We're going to chelatna lake, Near the southern border of denali national park.
The only way in or out is by floatplane.
It's beautiful out here! It is.
This is amazing.
We are in the middle of nowhere, but we get to focus on family And kind of get back to some roots and get back to things That are traditional for us that mean a lot.
It's a beach! This is perfect! Oh, my gosh.
I can honestly say I have never camped for real.
I wish it wasn't so cold and rainy.
I got adults going on this, don't I? What? There are adults going on this? Yes.
Hello, here we are.
Go put that on the fire.
Let's make us a big fire.
Go ahead.
You ready? I'm ready.
Duck.
Don't hit me.
You make a good logger.
I do, I do.
Look at this, todd.
The plane.
Is that them? Yeah.
Okay, let's go help these guys land and unload.
Hello! Are you kidding me? Doesn't the lodge sound much more exciting to you? Rain or shine, alaskans still camp.
We still find a way to have fun And enjoy every new experience we have Out in the great outdoors.
I sure hope the kids will enjoy this.
We know that we will.
We already put up some tents and built a fire, So it's all good.
Let's go.
You guys follow piper.
Just keep going, baby.
I'm behind you.
Honey, go ahead, it's all right.
We never did spray the kids with bug spray, Which is a very big problem.
You guys will love this.
You'll have something to tell your classmates When you go back home.
They did this before there was houses.
Why do you do it now? You really like this? What's good is when the fire's roaring, When it gets warm, And if we catch a fish or two, that's exciting.
Look at how gorgeous this place is.
You're surrounded by mountains.
This is the beauty of alaska.
Safety meeting! Kids, we're gonna teach you how to be safe.
Go ahead.
Go hear what they have to say.
Okay, you guys, everybody listen to mr.
Heath.
Okay, kids.
He's gonna tell you how to be safe.
The main thing I want you guys to remember is, There's wild animals around here, But we're safe in numbers.
You can make all the noise you want.
The more noise you make, the better off it is.
That's the best thing to do, is scare bears away.
If they do come in camp, You just get all together.
We'll protect you.
I'm not worried about bears right now.
I'm just worried about keeping my toes wiggling, 'cause they're freezing.
Okay, I'll go stoke the fire, And we'll go stoke some fun! Woo-hoo! Whoa, what is that? These are the teeth from spawning salmon.
When the salmon come upstream to lay their eggs, They start to grow these teeth so they can fight other fish.
Sometimes all the bears do is bite the salmon's stomachs, And they suck the eggs out of them.
They eat eggs? They love eggs more than everything.
No, no, no, no.
It's mine, it's mine.
You guys want to go bring these to the other kids? The kids got a kick out of chuck showing the salmon jaw, The little teeth that are in a salmon's mouth, To see that that's how a fish eats They have teeth, too.
Sharp salmon teeth.
Mommy, salmon teeth! I know.
I heard.
That's neat, huh? Where's the rest of him? I'm hungry.
Careful, guys.
Watch out.
Did you get something? Nope.
I'm gonna watch your hook.
Here you go.
It might come back and hit you.
Aah! it's stuck! The kids they're having fun.
I don't know if kate's having fun, though.
Yes, I've been bitten about 200 times already.
It's horrible.
The kids are having fun, so I'm tolerating it, But this is my new home dryness, under the tent.
We need more wood.
Does anybody want to come find some firewood? You can help me with firewood, yes.
Sorry I'm miserable, But, I mean, somebody's got to be.
We have an axe, we have a machete, But we don't have a chain saw.
Kids will always have fun If they're being productive and helpful and pitching in.
Let it dry out here.
We're gonna try to keep the fire A little bit more bundled up here Instead of sprawled all over the place.
Yeah, just, like, set it there.
You want to help the fire go? Thatagirl.
Good job, little girl.
This is cruel and unusual punishment.
This where I'll be the whole time.
I'm paralyzed.
These are delicious.
Who wants a hamburger? I am freezing to the bone.
I have 19 layers on.
Come on.
It wasn't that bad.
Camping is a palin family tradition.
We know how important it is to get away from it all, And we want to show kate and her kids That there's a lot of room For people to come here and unwind And get in touch with themselves, With what they need to remember is really important in life.
I'm standing in this Not-rain.
That's what I'm doing.
I have to admit I wasn't terribly opposed to it Camping, I mean but in the rain? No way.
Hey, guys, come over this way.
We're making a map.
Want to help? Let's see if See if you guys can carry 10 rocks each.
I was so thankful that the kids Had this opportunity with my brother To learn these really neat things.
Making a map of alaska, Giving them a little geography lesson It looked like they were having a a a a a a a a.
Look at how pretty this is, you guys.
I love it! Wait, you guys.
Listen to this If we were right here, Guess what we could see Over our shoulder? Russia.
Swear to god! I swear to god! Willow, go get the package of hot dogs and marshmallows, The s'mores ingredients.
I give up on todd catching a fish.
We can use that as some kind of grill for hamburgers.
We'll try to make everybody happy.
It's gonna be fun.
This is the most luxurious camping spot I've ever seen.
Piper, get hamburger patties, please.
Just kills me that people, like, willingly do this.
I can't get over it.
I mean, that is so shocking to me.
Ooh, yum.
These are delicious, you guys.
Here.
Who wanted that one? Who wants a hamburger? Is this one ready? Not quite.
You be careful.
I want some marshmallows.
Okay.
Can I have some? Go ask your mother.
You want some ketchup or mustard? Both, please.
Okay.
Those are moose.
Moose hot dogs.
What is it? A moose hot dog.
I need ketchup.
Okay, this is fun stuff.
This is cool.
We're gonna do the s'mores.
Todd, you want to grab a stick? I stick them in the fire until they catch on fire, I stick them in the fire till they catch on fire, And then I blow them out And then they're crispy on the outside and gooey on the inside.
Isn't that perfect? That's, like, one of the best desserts in the whole world.
We are not camng people.
I'll scream it from mountaintops.
I mean, this is just ridiculous.
Why would you pretend to be homeless? I don't get it.
I just don't get the concept.
There's no paper towels.
Like, how do you make sandwiches for eight kids on your arm? I don't see a table.
I don't see utensils.
I don't see hand-cleansing materials.
This is not ideal conditions.
I am freezing to the bone.
I have 19 layers on.
My hands are frigid.
I held it together as long as I could, and I'm done now.
I'm hungry! This is fun for you? That's very interesting.
Are you escaping? You're smarter than you look, honey.
This is our where our likenesses end.
Dead stop.
Kate, she had never felt more out of her element Than out there camping, But, you know, deep inside, I think Come on.
It wasn't that bad.
Geez, we had a tent over our head.
Even though I'm the crazy one, supposedly, And everyone else is normal That requires being crazy, I'm crazy.
Well, I got to get a salmon here.
All right.
Are you staying down here by yourself? Huh? Are you escaping? Now I get it.
You're smarter than you look, honey.
Is this what you guys do here? This is fun for you? I like the rain.
That's very interesting.
Get over here and get warm.
There's no hope for me.
I'm freezing to the bone.
Now, get closer to the fire.
You'll warm up.
Kate was freaking out quite a bit.
It was out of her element.
The weather was bad.
It was rainy.
It was cold.
I'm cooking gloves.
But I never heard the kids complain.
They were into everything and throwing rocks And trying to fish, and the kids had a ball.
And I had a ball, too, watching them.
You ready to go? You want to stay.
You want to stay or go? Stay! Okay.
Goodbye.
You're now a palin.
You're not a gosselin.
We're deciding who's a palin and who's a gosselin.
Fine! I will go! This is getting perfect.
You're gonna love this one.
Sarah All hail you, amazon woman.
Are you having fun? This is where our likenesses end.
Dead stop.
This is what we did for our fun and entertainment growing up.
We're out of here.
Thank you.
Oh, really?! Oh, yeah.
How are you gonna break it to the children? We're going where there's warmth and dryness.
Some creature comforts.
Are you staying here, for real? Yeah.
I have to put my bear training to use, right? my bear watch.
I'm just cold Like, e layers.
All right, say "bye.
" Okay.
Stay dry, stay warm.
Thank you.
Take care.
You guys stay warm.
Kate came up to me and said, "I'm out of here.
" She said, "you know, the kids were chilly, she was cold, And she would be more comfortable, As would the family, if they were not here.
Guys, leave it alone! Finish those, guys.
Sarah palin's alaska? Wow.
Gorgeous, amazing.
You could probably skip the camping part, in my opinion, But the sights are amazing.
Okay.
Have fun sleeping warm tonight.
Yeah, let's go.
Bye, guys.
Come on, mady.
You know, people from outside alaska, They have to be prepared, they have to not assume That the conditions are gonna be so ideal and warm And comfortable when you're out here in the wilderness.
I've grown up around this, so I'm used to this.
I love this.
Piper, do you want to walk them over to the boat? Mom, come on.
All right, I'll help her.
Hey, lookit.
Kind of clearing up, you guys.
You can see the mountain now.
I can see the mountaintop.
Well, I thought we were gonna go camping with the gosselins.
Turned out we didn't We had lunch with them on a sandbar.
She bitched every From the minute she got off the plane.
I suppose if shf took me to, like, new york city On some red-carpet event, I'd be the same way.
Like, "eh, get me home.
" yeah, yeah.
You're probably okay.
I know.
Mom! She's crazy! Who's stronger? Me.
Because of the rain and because it's kind of chilly, I think, physically even, people are brought closer together.
Family kind of tightens up, and that's good.
You know, we huddle around the campfire.
Go! Go! What's the easternmost state? Do you know, willow? Yeah.
What? Alaska.
Alaska.
The conditions are ripe and right for nice family time, For those things that, too often in our busy lives, We don't take the time to do.
How about this, you guys? Largest earthquake recorded in north america? 28.
4.
A lot of people across america probably think We are the biggest nerd family in america 'cause we get a kick out of playing charades, And we get a kick out of telling stories around the campfire, But it's something that we have done all of our lives, And I'm sure that kate and the kids Are probably content and warm, and I can understand Why, perhaps, under shelter, they seem more comfortable.
Listen first, we're gonna make sure, Before we go to bed, that all the meat is put away So that bears can't smell it.
Okay, I think everything's bear-proof.
I think the food's all put away.
Kate and the kids really missed out on a great experience.
I'm ready to go to bed.
Piper, you have to go to bed.
It's very late.
It won't get dark, so we're not waiting for dark.
Who has the bear gun? I will have the firearm in my tent.
Yell for sarah.
Even in an experience like a camping trip, You challenge yourself, and you see what you're made of.
I think her kids would have had a good time And never would have forgotten spending the night Out there in the tents in the wilderness of alaska.
Goodnight, grandma.
Goodnight, girls.
Goodnight, mom.
I love you.
I have to pee.
Willow has to pee! What? That's enough, willow.
Next time, on "sarah palin's alaska" Oh, yeah! Whoo! Here we go! Yeah! Whoo! Don't be scared.
Okay, I'm gonna show you what to do.
I shattered it! Welcome to my office! Your office.
This is awesome.
I assume I know everything that I need to know about mushing.
Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Oh, my gosh! Look at this!