Saved by the Bell (2020) s01e05 Episode Script

[cheerful music]
- Morning, DeVante.
Boy, that's one
sharp-looking shirt.
- Oh, thanks, Mr. T.
- Just out of curiosity,
where did you get it?
- I don't want you
to wear this.
- No.
I won't, I won't.
- Don't.
- I won't.
I want to, though.
Oh, hey, did you really find
an abandoned radio station
- Hey, buddy.
I need a favor.
How would you feel
about getting a tattoo,
but I don't tell you
what it is first?
- No, I'm late
for student council,
and I didn't finish my homework
'cause I had to babysit
my little brother last night.
- I'm not hearing a no.
- That was literally
the first word I said.
Between home stuff
and schoolwork
and all my activities,
I have way too much
on my plate.
- Well, what if I told you
there's a safe,
all-natural way
to increase productivity?
- Not on my watch!
Are those caffeine pills?
- Yeah.
I use those stolen prescription
slips for caffeine pills.
[bell rings]
- Daisy, you can't mess around
with that stuff.
Sure, those pills
seem like an easy fix.
At first, they're so exciting,
and then it gets
even more exciting,
but after that,
it gets so scary.
And in the end,
you ruin your girl group shot
at a recording contract.
- What?
- I get it.
I was you in high school:
ambitious, stressed.
I hadn't figured
my hair out yet.
I only wish back then
that I had someone
like present-day me
to guide past me,
but fortunately, you do.
It's me.
- You know, I never had
a guidance counselor.
Back at Douglas,
all they could afford
was an empty room
with a Magic 8-Ball in it.
- Why don't you come
by my office tomorrow morning?
- Thanks, Dr. Spano.
I will.
- Oh, what have we here?
- No!
Step away.
- [screams]
[bell rings]
- When I wake up
in the morning
Alarm gives out a warning
I don't think I'll ever
make it on time
[bell rings]
By the time
I grab my books
And I give myself a look
I'm at the corner
just in time
[bell rings]
It's all right,
it's all right
Saved by the bell,
it's all right
It's all right,
saved by the bell
It's all right
'Cause I'm saved
by the bell
[bell rings]
[light music]
- Guys, I know West Beverly
is a tough squad.
And sure, we already lost to
East Beverly, South Beverly,
and the Beverly Johnson School
For Models,
but I think tonight is the
night we turn it all around.
- Yeah.
- All right.
Now, let's hear a few words
from your team captain.
Jamie, get in here.
[cheers and applause]
- All right, listen up.
Listen up.
This is our moment, okay?
All that hard work,
all those two-a-days,
this is why we did it.
So we could
go out there tonight
and make 11 new friends.
all: Yes!
- Okay?
Winning does not matter.
What matters is having fun,
spending time together,
getting some exercise.
And, most importantly,
let's not forget
that the players on that
other team have inner lives
that are just as rich
and complicated as our own,
if not more so.
- And it's number 10
on the other team's birthday,
so no one tackle him.
He has to look good for his
party tonight at Soho House.
- Great point, Colt, thank you.
All right.
Clear eyes,
full hearts, full stomachs.
all: Full stomachs!
- Has everyone had
their milkshakes?
all: Yeah!
- Let's go.
- Let's go.
[cheering]
- Let's make some plans!
- Yeah!
- Whoo!
- Whoo!
- Hey, let's go get them,
champ.
Just remember,
if you believe in yourself,
there's no way you can lose.
[air horn blares]
- Bayside loses!
- [yells]
- Hey, Bayside, it's
number 10's birthday today.
[all cheer]
all: Happy birthday to you
- Daisy, I get that you're
worried about college,
but you have way too many
extracurriculars.
You're president
of the Science Club
and the Flat Earth Society?
- There's two sides
to every story,
and maybe, just maybe,
two sides to this Earth.
- Right.
Daisy.
Colleges are not impressed by
how many random clubs you join.
They wanna know who you are.
- A fun, normal teen
who hasn't had
a moment of relaxation
since first grade?
- No, you are student council
president, a leader.
Focus on that.
There's actually
a very competitive
summer leadership program
I think you'd be perfect for.
It's eight weeks of seminars
hosted by inspirational women.
Last year's keynote address
was delivered in unison
by the cast of
"Big Little Lies."
- Oh, my god.
That sounds amazing.
- And it's a fellowship,
which means all expenses paid,
including lodging and airfare
to New York,
plus a per diem for bagels.
- But I can't be away
from my family for that long.
- [groans]
I get it.
My husband's been in Arizona
for the past three months
on a writers' retreat,
and it's tough.
- It's not about missing them.
My mom needs me
to babysit my brother,
and I usually get a summer job.
- Oh.
Well, that's different.
Daisy, I don't know anything
about your family situation,
but I do know
about being a mom,
and all moms want the best
for their kids' future.
Just talk to her.
Look over
the application together,
and maybe she'll sign
the permission slip.
- Or what if, instead, I threw
the application into the wind,
and if she finds it,
it's God's will?
[light music]
- Hey, Coach.
You got a sec?
- Sure. Just taking
a little soup break.
What's up?
- Am I the only one who cares
that our team is trash?
I mean, after we lost
the other night,
Jamie and the guys
celebrated with pizza
and wrote thank-you notes
to the team that beat us.
- Yeah, well,
these Bayside kids
weren't exactly raised
to have a killer instinct.
- Well, I was.
In my house,
we don't celebrate losing.
Like my dad always says,
"Pizza is for winners."
- Hey, my dad was in the army.
He'd turn my room
into an obstacle course,
and I had to get a good time,
or else I couldn't go to sleep.
- So if you get it, why
aren't you trying to fix it?
- How?
You're the only person
on the team that isn't
a conscientious objector
to tackling.
One person can't save
a whole team, Aisha.
- But one person
can tank a team.
Jamie's pep talks
are killing us.
- Look, Aisha.
I already made him backup QB.
I can't take away
his pep talks, too.
It'll crush him.
- Fine.
If you aren't gonna do
anything about it,
I guess I'll just
have to do it myself.
- Hey, don't yell at me.
I'm a teacher.
Well, not an actual teacher.
They--
you know, gym teachers
are in a separate union,
which I'm also not in
'cause the paperwork
was a little confusing, but
- I gotta go.
- Good talk.
[light music]
- Hey, Mom.
- Hello.
You have reached Cronket
Wireless customer service.
How can I help you?
Mm-hmm.
One second, sir.
I have to talk to my manager.
[sighs]
Que te pasa, mijita?
Wait.
It's too quiet out there.
Can you make sure that Hector's
not doing something crazy?
- I'm on it.
Hector, no!
- What?
He poisoned
the villagers' water supply.
- Gracias, mijita.
Was there something else?
- No.
- Hello, sir.
My manager suggested that we do
a remote system reset.
Yes, please stand by.
That's not a real thing
we can do.
[mellow music]
- Hey, Jamie, can we talk?
- Sure, I'll start.
Have you ever noticed how
all M&Ms taste exactly the same
except when they're
in a Skittles bag?
- Okay, maybe I'll start.
Look, we all love
your pep talks.
I was just wondering
if they could be
a little bit more
inspirational.
Like, you could talk more
about winning
and a little less about
the stupid touchy-feely stuff.
- Okay.
I see what's going on here.
This is because we went to
the dance together, isn't it?
- What?
- Yeah, you're nagging me
because you had, like,
a really good time at the dance
even though we went as friends,
and now you don't know
whether to ask me out or not.
- [scoffs]
No way.
What makes you think that?
- I kind of feel the same way.
- You do?
No, this isn't about us.
This is about the fact
that our team sucks.
- Wait, so you're
not nagging me?
You actually think
that my pep talks are bad?
What about the one where I held
a moment of silence so long
we missed the entire game?
- That one sucked the most.
They all suck.
- That one was fantastic.
- Wow.
I know what I said,
but I gotta give it up.
You look fly.
- Thanks.
That means a lot.
Hey, one thing that isn't fly:
the price tag.
$1,200 for a shirt?
I almost didn't buy it.
- You shouldn't have.
I got mine on Amazon
for 40 bucks.
- Oh, my God.
What have I done?
- How could you say that?
My pep talks are amazing.
They engender a spirit
of togetherness.
- I bet I can still return it.
Oh, damn it.
Does anyone have
soda water or a tissue?
- See, that's your mistake
right there, Samson.
Never let a chick tell you
how to do your hair.
Hey, how'd it go with Jamie?
- Great.
Well, not great.
Really bad, actually,
but it did give me an idea.
All we have to do to motivate
the team is piss them off.
- Nice.
- What are you reading?
- Oh, this?
Incredible book.
If we weren't
in a public school,
I'd tell you all about it.
- And now I feel so guilty.
I'm, like,
totally freaking out.
Are you guys
even listening to me?
- Yeah.
You said something about
foraging crops in Singapore.
- No, I said I was scared
because I forged
my mom's signature.
- We're saying the same thing.
- I never used to do
bad kid stuff at Douglas.
Oh, God.
Am I turning into one of you?
- No, if you were one of us,
you would have come up
with a better plan.
Like, what are you gonna do
when Spano calls your mom?
- Why would she call my mom?
- Uh, this is Bayside.
The teachers are so afraid
of the helicopter parents,
they check in with them
about everything.
- You get a B-minus,
they talk.
You encase Toddman's car
in a block of ice, they talk.
The school is insane.
- Mm-hmm.
- Maybe there's nothing
to worry about.
She's not gonna call my mom.
- Yeah, you're probably right.
I mean, you know the school
better than we do.
Three, two, one.
- Oh, God.
Dr. Spano left a voice mail
saying she left
my mom a voice mail.
What do I do?
- Well, you could ask us
to help you with a scheme,
but just know one day,
we will ask something of you
in return, so choose wisely.
- Okay, will you help me
with a scheme?
- Yes, can I have
the rest of your fries?
That is the thing
we ask in return.
- Why can you never wait
to cash in on a favor?
- I have no impulse control.
- Okay, so what's the plan?
- What do you think?
We could try Swedish Backpack.
- No, the school
doesn't have a boiler room.
How about a Three Finger Sally?
- Not close enough
to a body of water.
- Plus, my passport's expired.
- What the hell
are you talking about?
- These are
classic schemes, Daisy.
- Yeah.
If we explain our shorthand,
then it defeats the purpose
of a shorthand,
or shor-la-bop-bop, which is
shorthand for shorthand.
- Okay, we just need to hurry.
My mom's shift ends at 4:00,
so she'll probably call
Dr. Spano back then.
- Well, if we're not
shor-la-bop-bop on time,
there's only one way to go.
both: The Giraffe's Gambit.
- We'll need an actress
to play your mom.
- But I don't know
any actresses.
Ooh, my aunt was on the news
after a raccoon stole her bra.
- Okay.
- Oh.
Mm-hmm.
- No, too short.
- Mm.
- No, way too tall.
- Oh, I love her,
but not for this.
- Mm-hmm.
Would you ever consider her
being a Russian 24-year-old
with big falsies?
- My mom?
No!
- Okay, well,
if you're gonna be so picky,
then which one of these women
looks the most like your mom?
- [sighs]
The only Latina one.
- Well, creatively,
it just feels like
a safe choice, but it's fine.
[indistinct chatter]
- Oh, no!
It looks
like Pacific Coast High
trashed our locker room
right before our game
against them.
- Wow, it sure was
definitely those guys.
- Yeah.
- See?
They even left these printouts
of their school website,
which proves it.
- What the hell is this?
"Jamie's constantly eating
baby food pouches."
Yeah, so?
It's just to give my teeth
a vacation.
- How do they know
about my parents' divorce?
I only told Coach Slater
about that.
- Well, see if the graffiti
says anything else.
- "I heard this
from not Coach Slater."
Oh, okay, good.
- Look, I don't wanna say
anything,
but I overheard
their offensive line
talking about how you guys
don't even know
the freeway dance
from "La La Land."
- What?
- But we do!
We've been practicing it
all year instead of football.
- You know what?
Everybody huddle up.
Right now, let's go.
Get in here.
So they've shown us
who they are.
- Mean boys.
- Right.
Now we're gonna show them
who we are.
all: Nice men.
- No!
We're mean boys also,
so you know what
we're going to do?
Not gonna say hi to them.
Yeah, we're not gonna
tell them, "Nice tackle"
when they tackle us--
if they tackle us.
Those jerks have left us
no choice but to go out there
and beat them
in football points.
all: Yeah!
Mean boys, mean boys,
mean boys!
- Hey, Mr. T.
I felt kind of bad about
what happened earlier,
so I wanted you
to have my shirt.
- Wow, thank you very much,
DeVante.
Is it also because
now that I've been seen
wearing this shirt,
it's no longer cool?
- Yes.
[bell rings]
- Are you Dr. Spano?
I'm Daisy's mom.
- Oh, it's so lovely
to meet you.
- Thank you for showing
an interest in my daughter,
Daisy Sofia Jiménez,
who was born in
the Los Angeles County Hospital
on July 12th, 2005.
- Of course.
Should we step into my office?
- It's actually a custom
among my people
that we go for a walk outside
when we first meet a person.
- And I feel uncomfortable
questioning you on that,
so let's do it.
[suspenseful music]
- Okay, now that Spano's
busy with your fake mom,
all that you have to do
is hide in her office
and then intercept the call
from your real mom.
- Wait, I forgot.
Am I pretending to be my mom?
- No, because then your mom
would be talking to your mom.
Sorry, I should have
slapped you earlier.
- My name is Jessie Spano.
I'd like to buy a Volvo.
[phone rings]
Dr. Spano's office.
I am her.
- Hi, this is Anna Jiménez
returning your call.
- Why, hello, Ms. Jiménez.
I am Daisy's
guidance counselor.
As you can tell by my voice,
I am white.
- Congratulations.
So what was it you wanted
to talk to me about?
- Ah, yes.
The thing I wanted
to talk to you about.
That thing is
[light tense music]
Um, that thing is
that your daughter
is excelling at Bayside.
- Oh, that's--wow.
Okay.
Um, so that's it?
- Yep.
Guess I didn't need
to call you.
Bye.
- It was so great meeting you,
Ms. Jiménez.
And I know I keep saying this,
but you really look like that
lady from the gum commercial.
- Me, with these pearly whites?
[laughs]
all: Bayside, Bayside,
Bayside, Bayside, Bayside!
- Yo, I cannot believe
we actually pulled that off.
- Pulled what off?
We lost again.
- Yeah, but only by seven.
That's, like,
a normal football amount.
- We kept it close
until the very end,
even though
it was past our bedtimes.
- And I soiled my pants
with dirt this time.
- That's what
I'm talking about.
That's what--
I'm proud of you guys.
[indistinct chatter]
- I owe you a thank you.
- For what?
We didn't get the W.
- [sighs]
Maybe not.
But we got
something more important.
We got the N for knowledge.
You know, you're right.
It does feel good
to get fired up
and actually try to win.
- Well, that's something,
I guess.
- Come get pizza with us.
- I can't.
Pizza is for winners.
- Oh, okay.
They also have sandwiches.
[melancholy music]
- Now, since I'll be trading in
my existing Volvo
for a new Volvo,
do I qualify for discounts
available to Volvo VIP Beige
Diamond Volvo Club members?
- Funny you should ask.
I saw your inquiry
on stock number 4123,
and I was--
[record scratch]
- Hi, I live here now.
[laptop rings]
- I'll have to call you back.
- Okay.
- Hey, honey.
How is the retreat?
- So rewarding.
We are learning
this new form of meditation
that involves lying prone
on a mat, eyes closed,
inducing a state
of temporary unconsciousness.
- So, like, a nap?
- [laughs]
Oh, Jessie.
- How is your writing going?
You almost finished?
- Almost.
Shaman Jeremy says,
"Writing is unwriting,"
so I'm sort of
rethinking my novel.
Anyway, they said
I could stay on
an extra couple months
so I can finish.
- Wait, a couple months?
- Well, yeah.
- No, it's just--I was kind of
expecting you home soon.
You know,
you could hang out with Jamie
and take care of your own bees.
- So you're saying that
you want me to come back?
- No, no, no.
I mean, if it's important
to you, then
- [sighs] Thank you.
Jessie Spano.
You are the only reason
that I am able to love myself
as much as I do.
- I love you too?
[laptop beeps]
[door creaks, shuts]
[light tense music]
- [sighs, gasps]
- What were you doing
under my desk?
- I never talked to my mom.
I forged the permission slip,
so when you called her,
Mack and Lexi said--
- Oh, wait.
It's a Giraffe's Gambit.
- Wait, how do you know
about the Giraffe's Gambit?
- I did my fair share
of schemes back in the day.
Who do you think was
the original giraffe?
- Oh, because you're tall.
- And I eat a lot of salads.
So why didn't you just talk
to your mom?
- I tried.
It was too hard.
- You can do hard things.
Women need to be able
to advocate for what they want,
even if it means
telling their loved ones
that they should come home
from stupid retreats.
[sighs]
I am such a hypocrite.
- No, marriage is complicated,
and also,
I didn't hear anything.
- You're right,
marriage is complicated.
And sometimes it requires
hard conversations,
and I think I need to have one,
and I think you do, too.
[gentle music]
- Hey, getting ready
for the next game?
- How did you know I was here?
- Security called.
Said someone was yelling in
Spanish on the football field,
and for once,
I knew it wasn't me.
- I'm just so mad.
Everybody's
at The Max right now
celebrating yet another loss.
- Or maybe they're
celebrating improvement.
- Don't tell me you're getting
soft on me too, Coach.
What would your dad say
if he was still alive?
- I never said my dad was dead.
- I'm sorry, I just assumed,
you know, since you're so old.
- Come on, I'm not that old.
I still rock
Michael Jordan kicks.
Look, maybe you just need
to cut yourself some slack.
You accomplished more with
this team in the last few days
than I have
in the last 15 years.
For what it's worth,
I'm proud of you,
and you deserve pizza.
- Thanks, Coach.
[pleasant music]
- Check it out.
Huh?
- Oh.
I thought you meant that
I should go get pizza
with, like,
Jamie and the guys,
but I can--
- No, no, no, no.
That's totally what I meant.
Go be with the team.
- Yeah.
- This was just a visual aid
for reference, you know,
like an example
of what pizza is.
- Yeah.
- That's all.
- Yeah--cool.
- Hey, Mom.
You need any help?
- I thought you hated
folding laundry.
- No, I hate doing laundry.
That laundry room's haunted.
There's always a flapper woman
sitting on the dryer
asking when Prohibition's
gonna end.
- [chuckles]
- I do have one thing I wanted
to talk to you about, though.
My guidance counselor
wants me to apply
for this really prestigious
leadership program,
all expenses paid.
- Daisy, that's great.
- But it's in New York,
and it's all summer long.
- Oh.
Huh.
Well, I guess I have
to figure some things out.
- I know it's asking a lot,
but it's really important
to me.
- Then it's important
to me too.
- Really?
- Yeah, of course.
- But you already do so much,
and now you have to pay someone
to watch Hector.
- Forget about Hector.
You think he's gonna buy me
a house one day?
- Hell no.
I'm gonna live off the land.
- [laughs softly]
- Why do you think
I work this hard?
It's because I love you,
and I want you to have
all the opportunities I didn't.
- Yeah, stupid.
- [chuckles]
- Well, René, at least
now you know how I feel,
and if you wanna be
in a real partnership,
you should think long and hard
about what you do next.
- Hey, did you hear?
We beat Pacific Coast High
by negative seven.
- What?
- Never mind.
You want some pizza?
It's not that cold.
- You know what?
That would be great.
- Nice.
Look.
Huh?
You all right?
- Not really.
- Do you wanna talk
about it, or
- Not really,
but this is helping.
- Hey, guys.
What are you doing here?
It's Friday night.
Come on.
Let's go clubbing or something.
Look, I'm rocking my new shirt.
- [yelling]
- Whoa!
- So you guys wanna call
the Lyft, or should I?
[upbeat music]