Scoundrels s01e05 Episode Script
Yes, Sir, Yes, Sir, Three Bags Full
Yeah, it's going fine.
I had four interviews this week, and the woman at the Indian casino - seemed interested.
- Hey, I could imagine you in one of those casino uniforms short skirt, tight vest, - nothing on underneath.
- You might wanna put some ice on that because I'm up to my elbows in pizza pockets and all the kids are in the house.
Hey, I'll trade places with ya.
Are you staying out of trouble? Yeah, gettin' real good at kitchen detail, too.
You should see me in my hairnet.
Be nice if my lawyer would stop by once in a while.
- Oh, Logan hasn't stopped by? - No.
At least J.
J.
knew how to look like he was workin'.
My own son's on the case - now and - I'm sure he's just busy at the firm.
Well, that's a comfort.
Oh, damn it! - What happened? - Did we just get cut off? - I should go.
- Wait.
Wait, wait, wait.
If I don't start styling within five minutes, I'm gonna go frizzy and lifeless.
Call 9-1-1.
Oh, I think I just blew a fuse.
Is that what they call it when you don't pay the bill? Okay, I've gotta figure this out.
- I'll call you back later.
- Mom, what's to figure out? That we're broke and - we can't cover basic necessities? - Like hot air.
I'm surprised we haven't lost the house yet.
Hope, we're not gonna lose the house.
Okay, your dad's only been gone for a couple of months.
- What's everybody yelling for? - It's called a power failure that thing that happens when your brain thinks - a little too hard.
- Light these.
It's a power outage, okay? It happens.
Now just light some candles and have some pizza pockets, - and everything will be fine.
- No, it is not gonna be fine.
I am starting to look like a chia pet.
And these pizza pockets are cold! Okay, guys, this is serious.
Mom is never gonna find a job.
What are you talking about? She's already had two.
Exactly! She bombed at them both in less than a month.
Think about it she's, le, 40.
What are her marketable skills? Running a stolen goods operation and avoiding the law.
If we're gonna survive, we all need to bring in cash, - like, tomorrow.
- Well, I gotta work tomorrow.
Mr.
Hong doesn't pay me 'cause I'm still paying off my debt.
And I give mom all my tips mostly.
People, we are wests.
I know what mom said, but it's time to get creative.
- Here, mom.
Take the money.
- No.
No.
This should be enough to tide you over.
Come on.
- It's not that big of a deal.
- Okay, this is a onetime thing.
I'm just trying to earn an honest living.
Who knew it would be this hard to pull off? You're not the only one in the country looking for a job right now, you know? I talked to you father.
He wanted to know how the appeal was going.
I'll deal with it.
I'm the one who told you to drop it.
You shouldn't have to lie to him.
What am I doing? You're taking care of the family.
Mom, come on.
You saw what happened last week.
He's home for less than a day, and Cal's robbing stores, Heather's getting prison guards drunk.
I know.
I was there.
How are the, uh, job interviews going? Pretty good.
I don't think I'm gonna get the insurance thing, but the lady at the Indian casino seemed to really like me.
So we'll see.
- It's all gonna work out.
- Well - It's gonna be fine.
- It better be or or I'm gonna be delivering junk mail for $7.
50 an hour.
How did this become my life? I could really use a paycheck, Mr.
Hong.
I'm sorry, Cal, but I'm afraid I cannot pay you a salary until your debt to our family has been settled.
Oh, no.
Yeah, totally.
Well, however, Mrs.
Hong is always saying - what a great help you are.
- Oh.
And I know she can be a bit demanding.
So we wanted to offer you a small token of our appreciation.
Oh! Sweet.
It's pre-owned, as they say, but it's a new model.
Very high speed, and I loaded it with some extras.
- Thanks, Mr.
Hong.
- Hey, Cal? Yeah? I know things are hard for your family, but just remember "in every difficulty lies opportunity.
" Winston Churchyl huh.
Yes! Well Hey.
I see you got your little gift.
Yeah, thanks.
You know, that's not the only thing that's loaded with extras.
Ooh! Ooh! Oh! Mm! Mm! Mmm.
Oh! Jeez! Oh.
Oh.
Getting a grant could take months.
Your mom needs the money now.
Well, I can get an emergency cash grant if I'm a native American - lapidary jewelry artist.
- There's always embezzling.
I'm kidding.
Besides, you can't embezzle if you don't actually work here.
Clearly, you underestimate me.
Hey, Dan.
That was the invisible Dan Clancy? I thought you said he never comes in? This is the first time I've seen him since he hired me.
Okay, how is that guy running a business, and I'm not? Supposedly he's heir to the Clancy clam juice fortune.
He just opened the store 'cause he loves movies.
- Hmm.
- What are you doing? Hi.
It's a private office.
Uh, I'm actually a friend of tad's - the guy who works up front.
- What do you want? Whoa.
"Zombi 3.
" Cool poster.
You into fulci? Tad and I have a project that's kind of a deconstruction/homage to fulci.
Anyway, being fellow film buffs, I was wondering if maybe you needed any help.
- I'm really good with business and I - I don't think so.
Why not? Because it's dead.
The whole thing.
Digital downloads, vending machines killed me.
And now it's all dead.
You know what they do with the living dead, don't you? I'm gonna go see if tad needs help.
Bye.
Yeah, hi, this is Cheryl west.
I met with angelica yesterday for the cashier position, and I It has? Oh, really? I thought Well, angelica asked if I would be available next week, so No, I understand.
Um, can I ask, was there a reason? Why is there an arrest still on my record? I imagine it's because you were arrested.
Did you get grilled onions? It was a frame job.
I didn't take any money from big foods.
The manager told you that.
Look, Cheryl, it's not a conviction.
It's an arrest.
But it does stay on your record.
Don't you understand that every time I apply for a job, somebody does a background check on me? I look like a felon, and then I don't get that job.
- Does that sound fair to you? - Not to me.
Do you want your pickle? Why don't you give us a minute? Listen Cheryl What you need to do is file a petition for an expungement.
All right, one copy goes to the court, another copy goes to the D.
A.
's office.
- I think they get 60 days to consider - 60 days? I need a job, and this is I'm trying to get my life on track, and I swear to God, all I do is keep running into obstacles.
Do you people wanna see me fail? I understand things are difficult.
Don't say you understand me.
You don't understand the first thing about me.
Thanks for the help.
I'll figure it out myself.
Oh, it's good to see that you're hard at work on our economic reform.
Well, I asked Mr.
Hong to pay me.
- He gave me this instead.
- Remind me never to ask you for a kidney.
I'd end up with a used iPod.
Is this the sequel to "tricky master"? That's not even out here yet.
Cal, how did you get this? I told you.
Mr.
hong he's got tons of this stuff.
Thank you for seeing, Mr.
Hong.
The fact is, the youthful demographic is increasingly fragmented.
What you get with me is an insider's connection.
I know who wants what, and I know how to get it to them.
Now I'm assuming you're getting these at what, 5 bucks a pop, if that? What I propose is to present you with a weekly list of titles I need, you provide with the DVDs, I pay you 8 bucks per unit, upfront, cash.
That's over 60% in profit, and I take care of all your distribution.
- What do you think? - Are you sure you're Cal's sister? Cal and I might do things a little differently, but we're both just trying to take care of our family.
I'm sure you can understand that, Mr.
Hong.
As a great man once said, "in every difficulty lies opportunity.
" Winston Churchill.
Ah.
Kanpai.
Hi, robby.
Hey, I'm gonna need two margaritas, no salt, one cosmo and one small raise for your favorite cocktail waitress? Sorry, Heather.
You know I love you, - but I gotta be fair.
- Well, what's fair about this? I'm still slinging drinks.
You promised me a modeling agent by now.
You just have to be patient.
Well, can I at least get a couple extra shifts or something? Yeah, sure.
Is everything okay? Yeah.
Just, uh, for the exposure, you know.
Well, if you're looking for exposure - not that kind of exposure.
- I'm just saying, if you want to clear some cash right away, I could use a new face up there.
It's actually safer up there than on the floor, and in one dance, you could clear what you make in a whole shift.
I'm just sayin' Well, I'm trying to be a model, not a stripper.
Tyra is very clear about the difference.
I get it.
Well, I'll see if I can put you on Tuesday nights.
Hey.
So I know I'm not supposed to be talking to you about this stuff, but do you know of any jobs? I thought you had a job, cleaning up after the hongs.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Things are getting desperate, huh? No, I mean, the lights are back on and everything.
I just, you know, I want to help.
What? Sparky's looking for someone.
Sparky? Come on.
Anybody else? Don't worry.
I think he's on some kind of medication now.
Sounds like a pretty routine job in and out, 500 bucks.
Oh, no, dad.
Sparky, man? I mean, if something goes wrong, mom will never forgive me or you.
You'll be fine.
Sparky knows I'd kill him if anything ever happened to you.
And, uh, as for your mom, you show up, give her 500 bucks, she's not gonna ask you where you got it.
Yeah.
So what do you say? You want me to make the call? Yeah.
Okay.
Hey, sparky.
Hey.
- I was just doing a little tanning.
- Uh-huh.
No, I wasn't.
I was forging in my smithy.
Do I look like a blacksmith? Sure, man.
I get that a lot.
Huh.
Listen, um, I kinda gotta get to work.
Have a seat.
So Wolfman says that you are looking for a gig.
You good with explosives? Um, well, it's not really my area of expertise.
Uh, 'cause Lobo said that you would be my wingman.
No, listen, I can help you out, I just if it could not have anything to do with exploding or burning See, what happens when two wires connect is, you complete a circuit.
And sometimes that can be productive, like when you get light.
And sometimes it can be the opposite, and then you get chaos and destruction, which is why it's real important to get your wiring checked.
Your mom need any rewiring around the house? 'Cause I could do that.
No.
No, man, we're good.
Then do what I was promised, Cal.
Because I don't like it when I don't get what I was promised.
Where and when, man? Await my call.
All right.
No, it was actually fun.
You know, sunshine and exercise and saying hi to all the neighbors.
Yeah, sounds great.
- Yeah, well, I better get going.
- Hey.
I love you.
Is everything okay? Oh, sure, honey.
You know, if you want to order a pizza or Mom.
I'm okay.
I'm just Kind of feeling like a failure today.
Mom, you are not a failure.
You're, like, a total trooper.
Here's, uh, here, f uh, for, um, for the pizza.
Here you go.
Everything's gonna be fine.
Put your hands together, your dollar bills in the air and give a big sparkle welcome to Amber destiny! - That's your cue, lady.
- I don't think I can do this.
You're gonna be great.
Just close your eyes and take yourself to that one place where you feel totally powerful and in control, and then just go out there and own it.
Okay.
Boo! Take yourself to that one place where you feel totally powerful and in control.
Take yourself to that one place where you feel totally powerful - and in control.
- That's it.
Show me the power.
Yes.
Yes.
Bellissima.
Bellissima.
Right here, baby.
Right here.
Right here.
Take it off! Come on, guys.
Give it up for her.
Give it up for her.
Amber destiny! Good morning.
Can I get you to sign for these? Why does that happen? Thank you.
Somebody got a special delivery, Heather.
- Me? - Ooh! "Roses are red, violets are blue, please have sex with me.
" - Hope.
- What'd you do, put extra cherries in someone's cocktail? - Ugh.
Let me see that.
- Cal.
So who is it fr? Uh, some guy.
Cal! Gosh! Hey, hey.
Seriously, how old are you? All right, what does it say? "From your secret admirer.
Congratulations on your de-but.
" Honey, that's debut.
"Meet me at the rainmaker fountain at noon.
" - Ooh.
- Mm.
Secret admirer.
It's very rom-com or slasher, you know, depending on Can I have that back, please? So what debut are we talking about here? Um My song.
The song that I sang.
- You sing like a moose.
- You know what? I happen to do a really good karaoke version of Madonna's "lucky star" - With sparklers.
- "Klassy" with a "k.
" And for this, you got roses? Well, I did win.
It was a contest.
They were having a contest.
Which reminds me, this is all for you.
Wow.
Those must have been some sparklers.
Mm.
Thank you, sweetheart.
Sorry.
Sorry.
Am I late? Come.
I need you to drive me to the stables.
Okay.
Get off! Get that boot.
Yes, ma'am.
Yeah.
That's a good boy.
Yes.
Oh.
You get a reward.
Oh.
Okay.
Oh.
Aah! - Ah! - Are you okay? - My back.
- Huh? What do you want me to do? Just don't move.
Just don't - Just get out.
- Get out? - Get out.
- Where am I supposed to go? Get out! Aah! Aah! Once in your life, truth will come around Cal? Cal, why is the car moving? Oh, no.
That's not good.
Cal! Stop! Stop! Stop! - Aah! - Stop! Stop! Stop! What the hell are you doing here? - Oh, hey, Heather.
- What are you doing here? - I just wanted to see if you got the roses.
- Ugh.
That was you? I waited for you by the fountain.
You were amazing last night.
It is so wrong that you were there.
Oh, I don't normally go to places like that.
It's just some of the guys took me af can you just do me a favor and not talk about it? - It was a onetime thing, okay? - Really? You should be onstage.
You're magic.
Well, the owner of the club did say I was a natural.
Are those my panties? Look, uh, it not what it looks like.
- Gross! Potts! - Please, Heather.
I love you.
I have loved you since the first time that we raided your house, - and - what the hell are you doing here? - Mom.
- Mrs.
west.
This is police harassment.
You have no right to keep us under surveillance.
You're not under surveillance.
- I am.
You stole my underwear! - Look, I didn't mean to.
I - Those aren't even mine.
- Gimme that.
Uh now you get out of here before I have you arrested.
Okay.
Okay.
My first stalker.
Is he the one that sent you the roses? Uh, yeah.
And, um, it was some other stuff before that, too.
This has been going on? Why didn't you tell me? Because I just thought that it came along with the territory, you know, of being a model and all.
Honey, you did nothing to provoke this.
I mean it.
And I'm gonna make sure he doesn't get away with it.
Mom, I'll handle it, okay? Just trust me.
No, I will handle it.
Ew.
He on his way.
Is the car gonna be okay? No.
But unfortunately, my stepmother is.
Thanks for asking.
No, I just I just figured the car isn't really your biggest problem here, is it? - What are you talking about? - He's not an idiot.
Anyone with eyes can see you two have been going at it like rabbits every chance you get.
And then she's in the backseat with a slipped disk when they pull his car out of the river? He's gonna neuter you like a bad pug.
Hello, Mr.
Hong.
How's Mrs.
Hong? - That's none of your business.
Sit down.
- Yeah.
You gravely disappointed me, Cal.
I trusted you to look after my car as if it were your own.
Instead, you left the hand brake off, and my wife injured her back trying to stop it.
I'm really sorry, Mr.
Hong.
Now normally, I would no longer require your services.
But your sister reminded me yesterday the importance of family.
- Oh.
- And I understand that you're having some difficulties right now.
Therefore, I'm offering you a chance to redeem yourself.
Thanks, Mr.
Hong.
That's very nice of you.
I want you to pick up a package for me tonight at this address.
They're expecting you at 8:00.
And you must deliver it here immediately after.
Obviously, this is a matter of utmost discretion.
Utmost.
Absolutely.
And, Cal Mm-h.
This is your last chance.
Give my regards to Mrs.
Hong.
Oh! I want him charged with stalking.
All right, can we just take a breath here for a second? What happened is totally out of line, and I will deal with officer potts.
But understand this you put a charge like that in his file, you pretty much put an end to the career - of a good Detective.
- Look who suddenly wants to be fair.
What about the false arrest on my record? I get that you're pissed, but let me deal with this.
You know, you guys screw with me every chance you get, watch me fall on my face and do nothing to help.
And now you think you can mess with my kids - and get away with it? Not today.
- All right, Cheryl.
But this is not gonna be an easy fight, not with your daughter running around - with no clothes on.
- Are you saying that my daughter somehow deserves this because of what she wears? No, I was thinking more along the lines of what she doesn't wear.
At the sparkle club? Heather is a cocktail waitress at the sparkle club.
Oh, jeez.
I'm sorry, Cheryl.
I thought you knew.
Let's keep a stop by stormwind.
We'll pick up some goodies! Wait.
Hold on.
I got a phone call.
Cruzer! Hey, man, I'm playing "World of Warcraft" - with some guy in Bangkok.
It's awesome.
- Iceman, it's sparky.
Oh, hey, man.
Yeah.
Get ready to lock and load, - 'cause the job is on for tonight.
- No, no.
I can't tonight, man.
I got this thing I have to do.
It's pretty important.
Then you better find somebody else to do it.
No, I-it has to be me, man.
This is, like, nonnegotiable.
Then find someone to be you.
Well, how am I supposed to do that, sparky? It's not like I've got some genetic perfect copy of myself that is walking around that I could call - I should help you why? - All right, come on, man.
Logan, I gotta do both of these things, or else I'm gonna have some tongs after me or some lunatic's gonna rewire - our house with dynamite.
- Sparky? Damn it, Cal.
Did dad get you into this? It doesn't matter.
I'm in it, okay? I'm asking for your help.
All right, look at mom.
She's drowning, and she doesn't want help from anybody, except for maybe you.
That's all I'm trying to do, just help her fix it, be a man, you know? - Keep the house from blowing up? - That, too.
Yeah.
This isn't gonna work.
I look stupid.
Without the atee, you kinda look like a douche.
Yeah.
I got news for you, buddy.
I don't think that's the problem.
Oh, yeah, you wish you looked this good.
Okay, so I'm picking up the package and then I'm dropping it off at the hongs' house, right? Hey, if you wanna do the job with sparky No, no, no, no, no.
No, no, no.
It's okay.
I'll pick the package up, I'll drop it off.
That's it, though, okay? Yeah.
Damn, I'm good-lookin'.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Tell me sparkles doesn't have what you want.
Look at her go! Look at her go! Come on, guys.
Give it up for her! Give it up for her! Attaway, sweet thing.
Work that pole, baby! What are you stopping for? Come on! Take it off.
Hey! That's my daughter, you son of a bitch! - What? - Come on, lady.
Let's g oh! Hey! No, put me down! Put me down! I tell you, I'm gonna close this place down! You're gonna be sorry for this! I just don't get what the big deal is, mom.
The big deal is you lied to me.
You promised me that - you were not going to strip.
- Yeah, mom.
Then the lig.
Then you started delivering junk mail.
Well, I don't need my daughter to be taking off her clothes - so that I can pay the bills.
- Mom, it's legal, okay? Brandi, she's one of the strippers she's paying to get herself through law school or med school or one of 'em.
Well, good for Brandi, and good for you.
- I hope you have big plans for your future.
- Mommy.
And just so you know, when you get in your 40s and you're wondering what happened to your dreams of becoming a model, - this is what happened! - Mom, I'm never giving up on my dreams.
Honey nobody ever does.
They sell 'em off one little piece at a time.
And it's not till you're trying to put your life together with nothing, then you realize what you lost.
Ugh! Put on your seat belt.
Hey, dudes.
Mr.
Hong sent me.
I'm supposed to pick up a package or whatever.
Nice night, huh? Okay.
All right.
Gus we're square? Party on.
Come on by tomorrow.
We're open 10:00 to 9:00.
Can we not run this illegal operation out of the place where I work? It's our hub.
Now if I could just figure out a way to take clam juice out of the equation - You certainly sound like Michael Corleone.
- Okay, you know Zane, the mouth breather who works down at the copy place? For a small deposit, I was able to score us use of his high-speed DVD burner for the weekend.
Tad, this is genius.
We're paying Mr.
Hong 8 bucks a pop for his pirated DVDs.
Now we can generate as many as we want and keep the profit all for ourselves.
It's like printing money.
And you don't think he's gonna find out about that? You know what? I'm out.
Here.
Lock up when you're done.
Oh, come on.
This is the entrepreneurial spirit that made this country great.
Your dad's a republican.
He'd be proud.
So He didn't send you to your death after all.
Uh, no.
Made it out in one piece.
Ugh.
You want a beer to celebrate? Wine looks good.
You look different.
You shaved.
Interesting.
You know, I just can't believe how blind he is when it comes to her.
I mean, I've seen him gut boys for messing up a lunch order.
And you You sink his wife in the backseat of his car while you're nailing her, and he lets you off? Mmm.
Apparently r back is better.
They're out to dinner.
Aren't you a lucky boy? Well, I, uh, learned not to take my good fortune for granted.
I thin um Part of me wanted you to get caught, just so he'd know.
You think I'm terrible? What you want No, I think, uh I think you're a victim of circumstance.
Tell me what you need Not that you're anyone's victim.
I'll do anything you please Since when did you become so wise? I'm heading out for a swim.
You coming? Tell me? What you want This the place? The video store.
This is the moment where I kinda like to stop, contemplate the change that we're going to unleash, summon the power, you know? Yeah.
Yeah, it's powerful.
Okay.
Call the cell if you see anything and don't don't change the radio stations.
- Yeah? - Hey, what's the name of that video store that hope works at? I don't know.
Maybe you should ask hope.
Are you are you in a bath or somethin'? Yeah, a hot one.
I gotta go before it gets cold, okay? Okay? Yeah.
?Girl, we can ?Baby, us together, girl, genius, incorporated.
Hola.
Hey, uh, what's the, uh, what's the name of that video store you work at? Palm canyon.
But the porn room's closed.
Yeah.
Just so you know, it's about to be burned down.
What? Don't tell mom or anything.
I'm doing a job with sparky, and He's about to torch the place.
Um, that's a little bit of a problem since I'm in here.
Hope! Hope! Hope! Hope! Sparky, what do you think you're doing? What does it look like I'm doing? Hey, aren't you Cal's sister? Wow.
- You have gotten so big.
- Get out of the way.
You're not burning down my video store.
It's not yours and and neither is this fire.
I summoned this from the universe.
I'm sending it back.
- Get away from my sister, you psycho! - Cal, it's me! Aah! - Where's sparky? Let - behind you! I was gonna save you.
Appreciate the thought, but I'm good.
- I'm gonna go back to work.
- Okay.
I'm giving you two weeks' suspension from active duty.
And you better pray to whatever God it is you pray to that that's all you get.
What the hell were you thinking about? I thought I was just pursuing her, and somewhere I crossed a line.
- I'm sorry.
- Crossed a line? Crossed a line? Let me tell you when you crossed a li.
The moment that thought - entered your head, that's when you crossed a line.
- Wait.
Do you have any idea what these women are up against, trying to rebuild their lives, and you're out there pulling this crap? Are you kidding me? Unbelievable.
Honey, pull your skirt down.
Okay.
Sorry.
I just want to say, I am very sorry I violated your privacy and your underwear.
I know it was totally inappropriate, and for what it's worth, I probably would have fallen in love with you - even if I hadn't gone to that club and seen you - Ahem.
Dancing.
Anyways, I will always admire and respect you, but from now on, I will do so only from a distance of 200 feet.
Ooh, that's even further than Tyra's stalker had to be.
So have you made a decision? We're not pressing charges as long as there's no problem ever, in any way.
- There won't be.
- You have my word on that.
And, ladies, I'd like to thank you again for your time.
And on behalf of the department, - I'd like to apologize one more time.
- If you were really sorry, - you would expunge that arrest from my record.
- Already done.
- Really? - Yeah.
It turns out I still have a little bit of pull in the D.
A.
's office.
Who knew? And, Cheryl, uh, if any of your employers have any questions about your record or anything else, you have them call me.
That's my direct line.
Thank you.
Well Good luck with, uh, the rest of your life and everything.
Thanks.
I'll miss seeing you onstage.
Oh, you won't be missing anything.
- I have to quit anyway.
- Then I'll look for your modeling.
- I'm sure you could be the next Heidi Klum.
- Really? Let's go.
No.
I am not paying you.
Because we had a deal, and all I got was one black wall.
I don't care about your concussion.
Aah! If I were you, I'd pay him.
- Do you mind? - Also, calling a convicted arsonist from the scene of an attempted arson maybe not such a great idea.
"You know what they do with the living dead, don't you?" Did you think I wouldn't get the reference? They burn them.
Duh.
And this was your solution? - Just 'cause you can't run a business.
- What do you want? I want you to seriously reconsider my original offer to help you turn this business around.
Ah, but this time the offer's a little different.
You need to disappear forever.
Let me and tad run it or I share your whole "zombi 3" homage with the cops.
I don't think they're gonna appreciate the reference as much as I did.
Why don't you stop by with the rent check the 1st of the month? If you don't find that I've increased your profit a solid 20%, we can renegotiate the terms.
However Violate them, sparky pays you a personal visit.
So I put an entire day's worth of junk mail into the fat bastard's yard and let his dog have at it.
Damn.
You're hot when you're giving it to the man.
- And Heather's got some news.
- Is that daddy? - Mm-hmm.
- Daddy, guess who got her first modeling agent? Yes, me.
Yeah, you know robby, my boss at the club? Well, he's not my boss anymore, he made some calls and got me a modeling agent.
'Cause really? why do I have the feeling anymore.
Your mother had something to do with this? You mean when she turned into robomom and tried terminate him? Congratulations, sweetheart I'm really happy for you.
Yeah.
Well, we're at dinner, so I gotta go.
Love you.
I love you.
Hey! So I got some milk and some cupcakes for dessert.
Save me a blue one, and, uh, yeah, here's the change.
Hope, this is, like This is li $300.
Yeah.
I finally managed to get that video store to pay me.
And I figured you could use some help, you know putting out the fires, so to speak.
- Hey, I'm sorry.
Am I late? - No, we're just coming to the table.
Oh, cupcakes! - From hope.
After dinner.
- Yes, ma'am.
Hmm.
Here.
You want to take this one in? Oh, yeah.
I'm glad I'm glad the power's back on.
When I opened my eyes and the lights were off, - I thought I was dead.
- Oh, grandpa.
- That's awful.
- Well, I'm glad you're not, grandpa.
- So am I.
- I think she speaks for all of us.
- Can I have some chicken? - Ma, I got something for you.
Oh, we had a lovely time.
I love you, ma.
I do, too.
Thank you.
Really careful.
I'm just saying, let's just not Hey.
Wait.
I would like to make a toast.
To Heather - For getting her first modeling agent.
- Whoo! - I'm so proud of you, sweetie.
- Done.
And and and to your mom.
I got a call from the silver sentinel insurance company.
- I start work on Monday.
- Wow.
Insurance.
Okay Wait, wait, wait, wait.
One more.
To all of you.
I know we had kind of a rough start of the week with the lights going out, and I pretty much thought I ruined everything for everybody.
But then you all reminded me of something I forgot.
I'm not in this alone.
And I could be wrong, but I kinda think our darkest hour is behind us.
So here's to my family For turning the lights back on.
- To us.
- Hear, hear.
Cheers.
- Oh, phooey.
- Does anybody know how long it takes for a check to clear?
I had four interviews this week, and the woman at the Indian casino - seemed interested.
- Hey, I could imagine you in one of those casino uniforms short skirt, tight vest, - nothing on underneath.
- You might wanna put some ice on that because I'm up to my elbows in pizza pockets and all the kids are in the house.
Hey, I'll trade places with ya.
Are you staying out of trouble? Yeah, gettin' real good at kitchen detail, too.
You should see me in my hairnet.
Be nice if my lawyer would stop by once in a while.
- Oh, Logan hasn't stopped by? - No.
At least J.
J.
knew how to look like he was workin'.
My own son's on the case - now and - I'm sure he's just busy at the firm.
Well, that's a comfort.
Oh, damn it! - What happened? - Did we just get cut off? - I should go.
- Wait.
Wait, wait, wait.
If I don't start styling within five minutes, I'm gonna go frizzy and lifeless.
Call 9-1-1.
Oh, I think I just blew a fuse.
Is that what they call it when you don't pay the bill? Okay, I've gotta figure this out.
- I'll call you back later.
- Mom, what's to figure out? That we're broke and - we can't cover basic necessities? - Like hot air.
I'm surprised we haven't lost the house yet.
Hope, we're not gonna lose the house.
Okay, your dad's only been gone for a couple of months.
- What's everybody yelling for? - It's called a power failure that thing that happens when your brain thinks - a little too hard.
- Light these.
It's a power outage, okay? It happens.
Now just light some candles and have some pizza pockets, - and everything will be fine.
- No, it is not gonna be fine.
I am starting to look like a chia pet.
And these pizza pockets are cold! Okay, guys, this is serious.
Mom is never gonna find a job.
What are you talking about? She's already had two.
Exactly! She bombed at them both in less than a month.
Think about it she's, le, 40.
What are her marketable skills? Running a stolen goods operation and avoiding the law.
If we're gonna survive, we all need to bring in cash, - like, tomorrow.
- Well, I gotta work tomorrow.
Mr.
Hong doesn't pay me 'cause I'm still paying off my debt.
And I give mom all my tips mostly.
People, we are wests.
I know what mom said, but it's time to get creative.
- Here, mom.
Take the money.
- No.
No.
This should be enough to tide you over.
Come on.
- It's not that big of a deal.
- Okay, this is a onetime thing.
I'm just trying to earn an honest living.
Who knew it would be this hard to pull off? You're not the only one in the country looking for a job right now, you know? I talked to you father.
He wanted to know how the appeal was going.
I'll deal with it.
I'm the one who told you to drop it.
You shouldn't have to lie to him.
What am I doing? You're taking care of the family.
Mom, come on.
You saw what happened last week.
He's home for less than a day, and Cal's robbing stores, Heather's getting prison guards drunk.
I know.
I was there.
How are the, uh, job interviews going? Pretty good.
I don't think I'm gonna get the insurance thing, but the lady at the Indian casino seemed to really like me.
So we'll see.
- It's all gonna work out.
- Well - It's gonna be fine.
- It better be or or I'm gonna be delivering junk mail for $7.
50 an hour.
How did this become my life? I could really use a paycheck, Mr.
Hong.
I'm sorry, Cal, but I'm afraid I cannot pay you a salary until your debt to our family has been settled.
Oh, no.
Yeah, totally.
Well, however, Mrs.
Hong is always saying - what a great help you are.
- Oh.
And I know she can be a bit demanding.
So we wanted to offer you a small token of our appreciation.
Oh! Sweet.
It's pre-owned, as they say, but it's a new model.
Very high speed, and I loaded it with some extras.
- Thanks, Mr.
Hong.
- Hey, Cal? Yeah? I know things are hard for your family, but just remember "in every difficulty lies opportunity.
" Winston Churchyl huh.
Yes! Well Hey.
I see you got your little gift.
Yeah, thanks.
You know, that's not the only thing that's loaded with extras.
Ooh! Ooh! Oh! Mm! Mm! Mmm.
Oh! Jeez! Oh.
Oh.
Getting a grant could take months.
Your mom needs the money now.
Well, I can get an emergency cash grant if I'm a native American - lapidary jewelry artist.
- There's always embezzling.
I'm kidding.
Besides, you can't embezzle if you don't actually work here.
Clearly, you underestimate me.
Hey, Dan.
That was the invisible Dan Clancy? I thought you said he never comes in? This is the first time I've seen him since he hired me.
Okay, how is that guy running a business, and I'm not? Supposedly he's heir to the Clancy clam juice fortune.
He just opened the store 'cause he loves movies.
- Hmm.
- What are you doing? Hi.
It's a private office.
Uh, I'm actually a friend of tad's - the guy who works up front.
- What do you want? Whoa.
"Zombi 3.
" Cool poster.
You into fulci? Tad and I have a project that's kind of a deconstruction/homage to fulci.
Anyway, being fellow film buffs, I was wondering if maybe you needed any help.
- I'm really good with business and I - I don't think so.
Why not? Because it's dead.
The whole thing.
Digital downloads, vending machines killed me.
And now it's all dead.
You know what they do with the living dead, don't you? I'm gonna go see if tad needs help.
Bye.
Yeah, hi, this is Cheryl west.
I met with angelica yesterday for the cashier position, and I It has? Oh, really? I thought Well, angelica asked if I would be available next week, so No, I understand.
Um, can I ask, was there a reason? Why is there an arrest still on my record? I imagine it's because you were arrested.
Did you get grilled onions? It was a frame job.
I didn't take any money from big foods.
The manager told you that.
Look, Cheryl, it's not a conviction.
It's an arrest.
But it does stay on your record.
Don't you understand that every time I apply for a job, somebody does a background check on me? I look like a felon, and then I don't get that job.
- Does that sound fair to you? - Not to me.
Do you want your pickle? Why don't you give us a minute? Listen Cheryl What you need to do is file a petition for an expungement.
All right, one copy goes to the court, another copy goes to the D.
A.
's office.
- I think they get 60 days to consider - 60 days? I need a job, and this is I'm trying to get my life on track, and I swear to God, all I do is keep running into obstacles.
Do you people wanna see me fail? I understand things are difficult.
Don't say you understand me.
You don't understand the first thing about me.
Thanks for the help.
I'll figure it out myself.
Oh, it's good to see that you're hard at work on our economic reform.
Well, I asked Mr.
Hong to pay me.
- He gave me this instead.
- Remind me never to ask you for a kidney.
I'd end up with a used iPod.
Is this the sequel to "tricky master"? That's not even out here yet.
Cal, how did you get this? I told you.
Mr.
hong he's got tons of this stuff.
Thank you for seeing, Mr.
Hong.
The fact is, the youthful demographic is increasingly fragmented.
What you get with me is an insider's connection.
I know who wants what, and I know how to get it to them.
Now I'm assuming you're getting these at what, 5 bucks a pop, if that? What I propose is to present you with a weekly list of titles I need, you provide with the DVDs, I pay you 8 bucks per unit, upfront, cash.
That's over 60% in profit, and I take care of all your distribution.
- What do you think? - Are you sure you're Cal's sister? Cal and I might do things a little differently, but we're both just trying to take care of our family.
I'm sure you can understand that, Mr.
Hong.
As a great man once said, "in every difficulty lies opportunity.
" Winston Churchill.
Ah.
Kanpai.
Hi, robby.
Hey, I'm gonna need two margaritas, no salt, one cosmo and one small raise for your favorite cocktail waitress? Sorry, Heather.
You know I love you, - but I gotta be fair.
- Well, what's fair about this? I'm still slinging drinks.
You promised me a modeling agent by now.
You just have to be patient.
Well, can I at least get a couple extra shifts or something? Yeah, sure.
Is everything okay? Yeah.
Just, uh, for the exposure, you know.
Well, if you're looking for exposure - not that kind of exposure.
- I'm just saying, if you want to clear some cash right away, I could use a new face up there.
It's actually safer up there than on the floor, and in one dance, you could clear what you make in a whole shift.
I'm just sayin' Well, I'm trying to be a model, not a stripper.
Tyra is very clear about the difference.
I get it.
Well, I'll see if I can put you on Tuesday nights.
Hey.
So I know I'm not supposed to be talking to you about this stuff, but do you know of any jobs? I thought you had a job, cleaning up after the hongs.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Things are getting desperate, huh? No, I mean, the lights are back on and everything.
I just, you know, I want to help.
What? Sparky's looking for someone.
Sparky? Come on.
Anybody else? Don't worry.
I think he's on some kind of medication now.
Sounds like a pretty routine job in and out, 500 bucks.
Oh, no, dad.
Sparky, man? I mean, if something goes wrong, mom will never forgive me or you.
You'll be fine.
Sparky knows I'd kill him if anything ever happened to you.
And, uh, as for your mom, you show up, give her 500 bucks, she's not gonna ask you where you got it.
Yeah.
So what do you say? You want me to make the call? Yeah.
Okay.
Hey, sparky.
Hey.
- I was just doing a little tanning.
- Uh-huh.
No, I wasn't.
I was forging in my smithy.
Do I look like a blacksmith? Sure, man.
I get that a lot.
Huh.
Listen, um, I kinda gotta get to work.
Have a seat.
So Wolfman says that you are looking for a gig.
You good with explosives? Um, well, it's not really my area of expertise.
Uh, 'cause Lobo said that you would be my wingman.
No, listen, I can help you out, I just if it could not have anything to do with exploding or burning See, what happens when two wires connect is, you complete a circuit.
And sometimes that can be productive, like when you get light.
And sometimes it can be the opposite, and then you get chaos and destruction, which is why it's real important to get your wiring checked.
Your mom need any rewiring around the house? 'Cause I could do that.
No.
No, man, we're good.
Then do what I was promised, Cal.
Because I don't like it when I don't get what I was promised.
Where and when, man? Await my call.
All right.
No, it was actually fun.
You know, sunshine and exercise and saying hi to all the neighbors.
Yeah, sounds great.
- Yeah, well, I better get going.
- Hey.
I love you.
Is everything okay? Oh, sure, honey.
You know, if you want to order a pizza or Mom.
I'm okay.
I'm just Kind of feeling like a failure today.
Mom, you are not a failure.
You're, like, a total trooper.
Here's, uh, here, f uh, for, um, for the pizza.
Here you go.
Everything's gonna be fine.
Put your hands together, your dollar bills in the air and give a big sparkle welcome to Amber destiny! - That's your cue, lady.
- I don't think I can do this.
You're gonna be great.
Just close your eyes and take yourself to that one place where you feel totally powerful and in control, and then just go out there and own it.
Okay.
Boo! Take yourself to that one place where you feel totally powerful and in control.
Take yourself to that one place where you feel totally powerful - and in control.
- That's it.
Show me the power.
Yes.
Yes.
Bellissima.
Bellissima.
Right here, baby.
Right here.
Right here.
Take it off! Come on, guys.
Give it up for her.
Give it up for her.
Amber destiny! Good morning.
Can I get you to sign for these? Why does that happen? Thank you.
Somebody got a special delivery, Heather.
- Me? - Ooh! "Roses are red, violets are blue, please have sex with me.
" - Hope.
- What'd you do, put extra cherries in someone's cocktail? - Ugh.
Let me see that.
- Cal.
So who is it fr? Uh, some guy.
Cal! Gosh! Hey, hey.
Seriously, how old are you? All right, what does it say? "From your secret admirer.
Congratulations on your de-but.
" Honey, that's debut.
"Meet me at the rainmaker fountain at noon.
" - Ooh.
- Mm.
Secret admirer.
It's very rom-com or slasher, you know, depending on Can I have that back, please? So what debut are we talking about here? Um My song.
The song that I sang.
- You sing like a moose.
- You know what? I happen to do a really good karaoke version of Madonna's "lucky star" - With sparklers.
- "Klassy" with a "k.
" And for this, you got roses? Well, I did win.
It was a contest.
They were having a contest.
Which reminds me, this is all for you.
Wow.
Those must have been some sparklers.
Mm.
Thank you, sweetheart.
Sorry.
Sorry.
Am I late? Come.
I need you to drive me to the stables.
Okay.
Get off! Get that boot.
Yes, ma'am.
Yeah.
That's a good boy.
Yes.
Oh.
You get a reward.
Oh.
Okay.
Oh.
Aah! - Ah! - Are you okay? - My back.
- Huh? What do you want me to do? Just don't move.
Just don't - Just get out.
- Get out? - Get out.
- Where am I supposed to go? Get out! Aah! Aah! Once in your life, truth will come around Cal? Cal, why is the car moving? Oh, no.
That's not good.
Cal! Stop! Stop! Stop! - Aah! - Stop! Stop! Stop! What the hell are you doing here? - Oh, hey, Heather.
- What are you doing here? - I just wanted to see if you got the roses.
- Ugh.
That was you? I waited for you by the fountain.
You were amazing last night.
It is so wrong that you were there.
Oh, I don't normally go to places like that.
It's just some of the guys took me af can you just do me a favor and not talk about it? - It was a onetime thing, okay? - Really? You should be onstage.
You're magic.
Well, the owner of the club did say I was a natural.
Are those my panties? Look, uh, it not what it looks like.
- Gross! Potts! - Please, Heather.
I love you.
I have loved you since the first time that we raided your house, - and - what the hell are you doing here? - Mom.
- Mrs.
west.
This is police harassment.
You have no right to keep us under surveillance.
You're not under surveillance.
- I am.
You stole my underwear! - Look, I didn't mean to.
I - Those aren't even mine.
- Gimme that.
Uh now you get out of here before I have you arrested.
Okay.
Okay.
My first stalker.
Is he the one that sent you the roses? Uh, yeah.
And, um, it was some other stuff before that, too.
This has been going on? Why didn't you tell me? Because I just thought that it came along with the territory, you know, of being a model and all.
Honey, you did nothing to provoke this.
I mean it.
And I'm gonna make sure he doesn't get away with it.
Mom, I'll handle it, okay? Just trust me.
No, I will handle it.
Ew.
He on his way.
Is the car gonna be okay? No.
But unfortunately, my stepmother is.
Thanks for asking.
No, I just I just figured the car isn't really your biggest problem here, is it? - What are you talking about? - He's not an idiot.
Anyone with eyes can see you two have been going at it like rabbits every chance you get.
And then she's in the backseat with a slipped disk when they pull his car out of the river? He's gonna neuter you like a bad pug.
Hello, Mr.
Hong.
How's Mrs.
Hong? - That's none of your business.
Sit down.
- Yeah.
You gravely disappointed me, Cal.
I trusted you to look after my car as if it were your own.
Instead, you left the hand brake off, and my wife injured her back trying to stop it.
I'm really sorry, Mr.
Hong.
Now normally, I would no longer require your services.
But your sister reminded me yesterday the importance of family.
- Oh.
- And I understand that you're having some difficulties right now.
Therefore, I'm offering you a chance to redeem yourself.
Thanks, Mr.
Hong.
That's very nice of you.
I want you to pick up a package for me tonight at this address.
They're expecting you at 8:00.
And you must deliver it here immediately after.
Obviously, this is a matter of utmost discretion.
Utmost.
Absolutely.
And, Cal Mm-h.
This is your last chance.
Give my regards to Mrs.
Hong.
Oh! I want him charged with stalking.
All right, can we just take a breath here for a second? What happened is totally out of line, and I will deal with officer potts.
But understand this you put a charge like that in his file, you pretty much put an end to the career - of a good Detective.
- Look who suddenly wants to be fair.
What about the false arrest on my record? I get that you're pissed, but let me deal with this.
You know, you guys screw with me every chance you get, watch me fall on my face and do nothing to help.
And now you think you can mess with my kids - and get away with it? Not today.
- All right, Cheryl.
But this is not gonna be an easy fight, not with your daughter running around - with no clothes on.
- Are you saying that my daughter somehow deserves this because of what she wears? No, I was thinking more along the lines of what she doesn't wear.
At the sparkle club? Heather is a cocktail waitress at the sparkle club.
Oh, jeez.
I'm sorry, Cheryl.
I thought you knew.
Let's keep a stop by stormwind.
We'll pick up some goodies! Wait.
Hold on.
I got a phone call.
Cruzer! Hey, man, I'm playing "World of Warcraft" - with some guy in Bangkok.
It's awesome.
- Iceman, it's sparky.
Oh, hey, man.
Yeah.
Get ready to lock and load, - 'cause the job is on for tonight.
- No, no.
I can't tonight, man.
I got this thing I have to do.
It's pretty important.
Then you better find somebody else to do it.
No, I-it has to be me, man.
This is, like, nonnegotiable.
Then find someone to be you.
Well, how am I supposed to do that, sparky? It's not like I've got some genetic perfect copy of myself that is walking around that I could call - I should help you why? - All right, come on, man.
Logan, I gotta do both of these things, or else I'm gonna have some tongs after me or some lunatic's gonna rewire - our house with dynamite.
- Sparky? Damn it, Cal.
Did dad get you into this? It doesn't matter.
I'm in it, okay? I'm asking for your help.
All right, look at mom.
She's drowning, and she doesn't want help from anybody, except for maybe you.
That's all I'm trying to do, just help her fix it, be a man, you know? - Keep the house from blowing up? - That, too.
Yeah.
This isn't gonna work.
I look stupid.
Without the atee, you kinda look like a douche.
Yeah.
I got news for you, buddy.
I don't think that's the problem.
Oh, yeah, you wish you looked this good.
Okay, so I'm picking up the package and then I'm dropping it off at the hongs' house, right? Hey, if you wanna do the job with sparky No, no, no, no, no.
No, no, no.
It's okay.
I'll pick the package up, I'll drop it off.
That's it, though, okay? Yeah.
Damn, I'm good-lookin'.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Tell me sparkles doesn't have what you want.
Look at her go! Look at her go! Come on, guys.
Give it up for her! Give it up for her! Attaway, sweet thing.
Work that pole, baby! What are you stopping for? Come on! Take it off.
Hey! That's my daughter, you son of a bitch! - What? - Come on, lady.
Let's g oh! Hey! No, put me down! Put me down! I tell you, I'm gonna close this place down! You're gonna be sorry for this! I just don't get what the big deal is, mom.
The big deal is you lied to me.
You promised me that - you were not going to strip.
- Yeah, mom.
Then the lig.
Then you started delivering junk mail.
Well, I don't need my daughter to be taking off her clothes - so that I can pay the bills.
- Mom, it's legal, okay? Brandi, she's one of the strippers she's paying to get herself through law school or med school or one of 'em.
Well, good for Brandi, and good for you.
- I hope you have big plans for your future.
- Mommy.
And just so you know, when you get in your 40s and you're wondering what happened to your dreams of becoming a model, - this is what happened! - Mom, I'm never giving up on my dreams.
Honey nobody ever does.
They sell 'em off one little piece at a time.
And it's not till you're trying to put your life together with nothing, then you realize what you lost.
Ugh! Put on your seat belt.
Hey, dudes.
Mr.
Hong sent me.
I'm supposed to pick up a package or whatever.
Nice night, huh? Okay.
All right.
Gus we're square? Party on.
Come on by tomorrow.
We're open 10:00 to 9:00.
Can we not run this illegal operation out of the place where I work? It's our hub.
Now if I could just figure out a way to take clam juice out of the equation - You certainly sound like Michael Corleone.
- Okay, you know Zane, the mouth breather who works down at the copy place? For a small deposit, I was able to score us use of his high-speed DVD burner for the weekend.
Tad, this is genius.
We're paying Mr.
Hong 8 bucks a pop for his pirated DVDs.
Now we can generate as many as we want and keep the profit all for ourselves.
It's like printing money.
And you don't think he's gonna find out about that? You know what? I'm out.
Here.
Lock up when you're done.
Oh, come on.
This is the entrepreneurial spirit that made this country great.
Your dad's a republican.
He'd be proud.
So He didn't send you to your death after all.
Uh, no.
Made it out in one piece.
Ugh.
You want a beer to celebrate? Wine looks good.
You look different.
You shaved.
Interesting.
You know, I just can't believe how blind he is when it comes to her.
I mean, I've seen him gut boys for messing up a lunch order.
And you You sink his wife in the backseat of his car while you're nailing her, and he lets you off? Mmm.
Apparently r back is better.
They're out to dinner.
Aren't you a lucky boy? Well, I, uh, learned not to take my good fortune for granted.
I thin um Part of me wanted you to get caught, just so he'd know.
You think I'm terrible? What you want No, I think, uh I think you're a victim of circumstance.
Tell me what you need Not that you're anyone's victim.
I'll do anything you please Since when did you become so wise? I'm heading out for a swim.
You coming? Tell me? What you want This the place? The video store.
This is the moment where I kinda like to stop, contemplate the change that we're going to unleash, summon the power, you know? Yeah.
Yeah, it's powerful.
Okay.
Call the cell if you see anything and don't don't change the radio stations.
- Yeah? - Hey, what's the name of that video store that hope works at? I don't know.
Maybe you should ask hope.
Are you are you in a bath or somethin'? Yeah, a hot one.
I gotta go before it gets cold, okay? Okay? Yeah.
?Girl, we can ?Baby, us together, girl, genius, incorporated.
Hola.
Hey, uh, what's the, uh, what's the name of that video store you work at? Palm canyon.
But the porn room's closed.
Yeah.
Just so you know, it's about to be burned down.
What? Don't tell mom or anything.
I'm doing a job with sparky, and He's about to torch the place.
Um, that's a little bit of a problem since I'm in here.
Hope! Hope! Hope! Hope! Sparky, what do you think you're doing? What does it look like I'm doing? Hey, aren't you Cal's sister? Wow.
- You have gotten so big.
- Get out of the way.
You're not burning down my video store.
It's not yours and and neither is this fire.
I summoned this from the universe.
I'm sending it back.
- Get away from my sister, you psycho! - Cal, it's me! Aah! - Where's sparky? Let - behind you! I was gonna save you.
Appreciate the thought, but I'm good.
- I'm gonna go back to work.
- Okay.
I'm giving you two weeks' suspension from active duty.
And you better pray to whatever God it is you pray to that that's all you get.
What the hell were you thinking about? I thought I was just pursuing her, and somewhere I crossed a line.
- I'm sorry.
- Crossed a line? Crossed a line? Let me tell you when you crossed a li.
The moment that thought - entered your head, that's when you crossed a line.
- Wait.
Do you have any idea what these women are up against, trying to rebuild their lives, and you're out there pulling this crap? Are you kidding me? Unbelievable.
Honey, pull your skirt down.
Okay.
Sorry.
I just want to say, I am very sorry I violated your privacy and your underwear.
I know it was totally inappropriate, and for what it's worth, I probably would have fallen in love with you - even if I hadn't gone to that club and seen you - Ahem.
Dancing.
Anyways, I will always admire and respect you, but from now on, I will do so only from a distance of 200 feet.
Ooh, that's even further than Tyra's stalker had to be.
So have you made a decision? We're not pressing charges as long as there's no problem ever, in any way.
- There won't be.
- You have my word on that.
And, ladies, I'd like to thank you again for your time.
And on behalf of the department, - I'd like to apologize one more time.
- If you were really sorry, - you would expunge that arrest from my record.
- Already done.
- Really? - Yeah.
It turns out I still have a little bit of pull in the D.
A.
's office.
Who knew? And, Cheryl, uh, if any of your employers have any questions about your record or anything else, you have them call me.
That's my direct line.
Thank you.
Well Good luck with, uh, the rest of your life and everything.
Thanks.
I'll miss seeing you onstage.
Oh, you won't be missing anything.
- I have to quit anyway.
- Then I'll look for your modeling.
- I'm sure you could be the next Heidi Klum.
- Really? Let's go.
No.
I am not paying you.
Because we had a deal, and all I got was one black wall.
I don't care about your concussion.
Aah! If I were you, I'd pay him.
- Do you mind? - Also, calling a convicted arsonist from the scene of an attempted arson maybe not such a great idea.
"You know what they do with the living dead, don't you?" Did you think I wouldn't get the reference? They burn them.
Duh.
And this was your solution? - Just 'cause you can't run a business.
- What do you want? I want you to seriously reconsider my original offer to help you turn this business around.
Ah, but this time the offer's a little different.
You need to disappear forever.
Let me and tad run it or I share your whole "zombi 3" homage with the cops.
I don't think they're gonna appreciate the reference as much as I did.
Why don't you stop by with the rent check the 1st of the month? If you don't find that I've increased your profit a solid 20%, we can renegotiate the terms.
However Violate them, sparky pays you a personal visit.
So I put an entire day's worth of junk mail into the fat bastard's yard and let his dog have at it.
Damn.
You're hot when you're giving it to the man.
- And Heather's got some news.
- Is that daddy? - Mm-hmm.
- Daddy, guess who got her first modeling agent? Yes, me.
Yeah, you know robby, my boss at the club? Well, he's not my boss anymore, he made some calls and got me a modeling agent.
'Cause really? why do I have the feeling anymore.
Your mother had something to do with this? You mean when she turned into robomom and tried terminate him? Congratulations, sweetheart I'm really happy for you.
Yeah.
Well, we're at dinner, so I gotta go.
Love you.
I love you.
Hey! So I got some milk and some cupcakes for dessert.
Save me a blue one, and, uh, yeah, here's the change.
Hope, this is, like This is li $300.
Yeah.
I finally managed to get that video store to pay me.
And I figured you could use some help, you know putting out the fires, so to speak.
- Hey, I'm sorry.
Am I late? - No, we're just coming to the table.
Oh, cupcakes! - From hope.
After dinner.
- Yes, ma'am.
Hmm.
Here.
You want to take this one in? Oh, yeah.
I'm glad I'm glad the power's back on.
When I opened my eyes and the lights were off, - I thought I was dead.
- Oh, grandpa.
- That's awful.
- Well, I'm glad you're not, grandpa.
- So am I.
- I think she speaks for all of us.
- Can I have some chicken? - Ma, I got something for you.
Oh, we had a lovely time.
I love you, ma.
I do, too.
Thank you.
Really careful.
I'm just saying, let's just not Hey.
Wait.
I would like to make a toast.
To Heather - For getting her first modeling agent.
- Whoo! - I'm so proud of you, sweetie.
- Done.
And and and to your mom.
I got a call from the silver sentinel insurance company.
- I start work on Monday.
- Wow.
Insurance.
Okay Wait, wait, wait, wait.
One more.
To all of you.
I know we had kind of a rough start of the week with the lights going out, and I pretty much thought I ruined everything for everybody.
But then you all reminded me of something I forgot.
I'm not in this alone.
And I could be wrong, but I kinda think our darkest hour is behind us.
So here's to my family For turning the lights back on.
- To us.
- Hear, hear.
Cheers.
- Oh, phooey.
- Does anybody know how long it takes for a check to clear?