Sleuth 101 (2010) s01e05 Episode Script

MAN: Now is the moment of truth.
It's down to this - your last meal.
This alone will decide which of you will go on to be proclaimed the first ever winner of Australia's 'lnside Chef'.
Fingers, you're first.
Oh, Fingers.
I think you've bitten off more than I can chew.
That's unchewable! Harry, I know I've been hard on you this series, but will it all be worth it? (GASPS AND RETCHES) Oh, Harry, what are you trying to do to me? How much chilli powder did you put on that, you idiot? No, I never put no chilli in there.
You're a numpty, Harry.
If you served up your brain to me, I'd still starve to death.
Oh, g-give Enid.
Sweet Enid.
I hope you can do better than those two poor excuses for men.
Mmm! Interesting.
A strong citrus flavour with just a hint of (GASPS) Help! (GAGS) Arggh! Stop the broadcast now! (GURGLES) He's dead.
(APPLAUSE) (CHEERING) Hello.
Welcome to Sleuth 101.
Looking for a tasty murder? Well, here's one we prepared earlier.
Celebrity chef Ramsay McGordon has just been killed on live TV.
Given that he was surrounded by three convicted felons and a television producer, he never stood a chance.
To cut through this meatloaf of mystery, we'll need the sharpest knife in the drawer.
Let's hope he doesn't fork it up.
Please welcome Peter Rowsthorn! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Oh! Yeah, did you see that? I sort of went Bit of that.
Oh, beautiful, beautiful.
Yeah.
Pow! Like that.
Yeah.
Excellent.
That's all we've got time for, Peter.
Thank you very much.
How are your powers of deduction? Fantastic.
By the time I hit my 20s, I probably had nailed all the 'Scooby-Doo' murders myself.
You know, really had uncovered.
Excellent work.
Let's look at the recipe for this murder.
Take one celebrity chef and four suspects, bone and remove the chef, add one detective and stir.
But first we have to take you to the scene of the crime - the set of the new prison-based reality series 'lnside Chef'.
It's right there.
Oh! Let's have a look.
Now, this is where Ramsay McGordon's goose was well and truly cooked.
Our rather slap-dash forensics people have already been through.
They've taken away the three dishes that Ramsay tasted and also Ramsay's body, in that order.
So, what we want you to do is have a look around and see if you can find any clues that they may have missed.
Alright, well, I saw that early.
I've got the, uh I've got this.
Mm-hm.
This is like a like a vial.
Good work.
Thank you very much.
I'll put that there.
Don't touch it! OK.
Oh, OK.
This was cunningly left on a spoon.
What is that, Mr Rowsthorn? Lucky I saw that one.
I do believe that is some sort of Ooh! Look.
It's a memory stick.
OK.
Two clues! The vial and a memory stick! And I find that yelling helps.
Um Ooh, look, there's a bin.
Here we go.
Look at this.
See? You don't see that every day in your normal spring onion.
Aha! Oh! What's that? With a safety cap.
A very thoughtful criminal.
Put with the Anything else? Look.
They've got to be here for a reason.
What are they? Look.
These are peas.
Now, there's everything else.
There's the plates and there's peas all by themselves.
That's not right.
That can't be right.
Now, would you like to pop all those clues in that little plate? This one here? Yep.
Bring them over to me.
I'll put this vile little thing in here.
(LAUGHS) It's a vile little thing.
This show's becoming a drag.
OK.
OK.
So I think I found those things over there.
Well done, Detective.
Now, I think we'll send this syringe and the USB key and the peas off to forensics for analysis.
So I reckon keep hold of the vial.
It may be useful.
OK, sure.
I'll just I'll display it like this.
It's time to talk to your suspects now.
Now, normally you'd talk to all four, but unfortunately pickpocket Fingers Keegan has escaped during the commotion that happened when Ramsay was killed.
He's done a runner.
He has.
You might have to solve it without him here.
So first up let's hear from the producer of the show, Stacy Henshaw.
CAL: Stacy started as a presenter on the short-lived series 'ls That a Million Dollars in Your Pocket? ' Before travelling the world on the holiday show 'Come Fly with Me'.
But now she's negotiated a new role on the network as the owner's daughter-in-law.
So let's hear how events unfolded according to Stacy.
Ramsay and I had our usual briefing before the show.
Just do everything exactly like we rehearsed it, OK? This one's going out live, remember, so we've got to make it as exciting as possible.
It just all sounds so hackneyed to me.
I keep telling you, if you want the ratings to go through the roof all you need is a good juicy scandal.
I promise you, this is the best way.
Hey, that's mine! Oh, I think we've caught everything we can from each other, don't you? (SCOFFS) Just get out there and do the show.
(CLEARS THROAT) Right.
RAMSAY: Coming to you live from Long Bay prison, it's the 'lnside Chef' grand final.
Three convicted felons, three final meals, only one winner.
There's only one man who can decide.
That's right, it's me, Ramsay McGordon.
STAC Y: Ramsay introduced the final challenge.
They each had to prepare the perfect last meal for a death row prisoner.
And, of course, he couldn't resist taunting them.
And after that, tickets to Tahiti.
Oh, no.
That's for me.
I really need a holiday.
You lot, from your lying and murdering ways, will be staying right where you are for the term of your natural.
Now, my advice to you is to choose your ingredients wisely for there's no going back, and your time starts now.
STAC Y: We cut to an ad break while they went to the pantry.
It was good to see a bit of argy-bargy when we came back.
Hey! No, no.
That's mine.
It's mine.
I need it.
It's mine.
I got it first.
OK.
Have it.
Don't get your knickers in a twist.
I can do without it.
They started preparing their meals.
It all went pretty smoothly.
Not much out of the ordinary happened.
Oh, except there was that thing with Fingers.
And where did you thieve this from, then, Fingers? It's me mum's.
Oh, is that a fact? Oi, what's that? Oh, now, that is the venom of the Phyllobates terribilis, the poison dart frog.
The flesh is considered a delicacy by the Arhuaco Indians of Colombia, but that will kill you dead like that.
That's why I wear it round my neck, to remind me of the fine line that exists between life and death.
Is that polenta? I'm making kangaroo steak Aye.
on a bed of polenta and Oh, damn.
Oh, you great huddering bampot.
STAC Y: And then there was the incident with Harry.
Nice work with the shallots.
These are not shallots.
They're of the genus Allium fistulosum Oh, my God.
We're going to need security downstairs.
commonly spring onions.
They're only called 'shallots' by the food ignorant.
Alright.
Do you want to win this competition or not? It's alright.
There's no need for the screws.
He's just food passionate and that's what this show's all about.
STAC Y: Great television.
It was business as usual after that.
They cooked their meals, Ramsay tasted them, and then (GASPS) Help! Oh, my God.
(RAMSAY GAGS AND GROANS) Now, everything you saw was the truth.
But sometimes TV producers like to make a few cuts, so the only way you're going to be sure is to talk to Stacy yourself.
OK.
Peter, meet Stacy.
Stacy.
Detective.
Are you well? Well, I'm obviously devastated.
But other than that I'm well, yes, thanks.
Why are you devastated, Stacy? Well, there was a tragedy on the set of my television show.
I mean, of course I'm devastated.
My apologies for my insincerity, then.
Um Oh, no.
I understand insincerity.
I work in television.
(LAUGHTER) Ramsay.
He just referred to you during the altercation I'd seen on the monitors that you had caught a lot of things from each other.
What did that mean? Oh, well, I presume he was referring to a cold.
That's all it's been? Just a cold? Oh, no.
Just flus and, you know, viruses.
You've worked in close proximity with him for how many years? Well, just this series, really.
I mean, obviously you recognise me from my work as a television presenter.
I haven't worked as a producer for that long.
You weren't in any way interested in the man at all? I'm happily married.
I can't believe you didn't read about me in the papers.
I did marry Lachie just a few months ago.
We just got back from our honeymoon.
Spectacular.
Yeah.
We went so many places.
Actually, I went to a lot of places with the travel show, but we also went everywhere on the honeymoon too.
Oh, they were happy days.
Yes.
Well, good on you.
(LAUGHTER) He drank your drink as he left the The control room, yes.
Yeah.
What was in that cup? Do you remember what you were drinking that day? It was a skinny smoothie, like I drink every day.
Skinny smoothie Every day Peter, we're gonna have to give you the wind-up there.
We've got some breaking news for you from the lab.
Oh, breaking news from the lab.
The syringe has traces of heroin inside and on the exterior are fingerprints, but not enough for a match.
There are also traces of pumpkin on the syringe.
Have you had your pumpkin shots, Pete? I've had my pumpkin shots.
I have.
I think it might be time to hear from Harry.
Harry 'the Hatchet' Donelli, hitman and caterer for the Melbourne underworld.
Rumoured to have been responsible for 100 mob executions, he's currently serving 25 years for murder, grievous bodily harm and aggravated assault with a zucchini.
Yeah, I'm glad he's dead.
I never done it, but he's a tosser.
He deserved it.
He had it in for me from the start.
Get out of the way.
What you cooking? Paprika chicken.
Hey, don't get no ideas, alright? No, no, no.
It sounds brilliant.
Just that What? Nothing.
Tell us.
I overheard Ramsay talking to the show's producer.
Yeah? You can't win.
Hey? Show's rigged.
Scumbag.
Yeah.
Hey! No, no.
That's mine.
I got it first.
No, I need it.
I need it.
It's my pumpkin.
I started preparing my meal.
It was gonna be the best thing I ever done.
If I was gonna lose, I was gonna go down fighting.
I picked my ingredients with the utmost of carefulness.
I chucked the paprika-seasoned chicken into the oven and then I was ready for my sauce.
FINGERS: And RAMSAY: You great huddering bampot! Fingers was up to something.
I could tell.
Detective, your second course awaits you.
Here's Harry.
G'day, Harry.
Keeping well? I been good.
(LAUGHTER) Enjoy cooking, Harry? Yeah, I love it.
I'd give my life to cooking, but I haven't got it to give.
You know what I mean? (LAUGHS) Still doing the yoga? Yeah, still loving the yoga.
Can't get enough of it.
That's good.
Having a bit of trouble with my mid inner strength.
My core's Pilates is good for that.
Is it? Yeah, yeah.
That's what they reckon, yeah.
That's interesting.
Pilates.
Yeah.
Pilates.
I noticed in a bit of footage I saw, security footage, you found something, something small.
What was that in your hand? Dunno what happened.
Someone threw a frozen pea that ended up in my thing.
A frozen pea? I've never pea-ed in any food.
Good one.
I'm writing that down.
"I've never pea-ed in any food.
" (LAUGHS) It's a good one, eh? Bloody funny.
Well done.
Yeah, yeah.
You said you were gonna cook paprika chicken.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Nice choice.
Yeah, you like that, huh? Lovely.
It's good.
Nice and spicy.
But when Ramsay tasted it Mmm.
there was chilli in it.
I don't know.
Maybe his palate was gone.
Yeah.
Gone palate.
Yeah.
Harry? Love your work.
Thanks for the compliment about the yoga.
This leg's feeling great now.
It's good, stretching.
Stretch the groin right out.
Yeah.
Alright, Pete, your time is up, I'm afraid.
Harry, your time's not up for another couple of decades.
Sorry about that.
Before we move on, let's check the latest information from forensics.
They've worked long and hard on the peas and discovered that they contain no poison, just pea colouring, pea flavouring and pea DNA.
They are, in fact, peas.
Good work, forensics.
The lads have also examined the USB key that was soaking in the sauce.
It contained a video file, but due to damage all they can get off it is this still image.
Maybe our next suspect will make things clearer.
Enid Banks is the country's oldest convicted murderer, but she likes to keep herself young by doing things she enjoys, like sewing, cooking and poisoning her husbands.
The best thing about 'lnside Chef' was getting back into the kitchen.
Your final task is to prepare the perfect last meal, a dish so magnificent as to put a smile on the face of someone going to the chair.
ENID: Last meals? That was something I was used to cooking.
Then Ramsay came up to speak to me.
He was a nice man, reminded me of my second husband.
I understand you had to go to the doctor's.
Oh, just a little bunged up.
I'm OK today, thanks.
We'd hate to lose you, lassie.
Oh, you're not flirting with me, are you, Mr McGordon? What's the harm in that? As long as I don't marry you, in which case you'd try and bump me off.
What's that, then? Is that ginger root? Oh, I don't give away my secrets, Mr McGordon.
You know that.
Yeah, right.
Ow! That Fingers, he always knows how to get my goat, just like Ramsay with Harry.
They're only called shallots by the food ignorant! No need for the screws.
He's just food passionate.
ENID: Then I had to rush to get ready for the tasting.
(RAMSAY SCREAMS) Stop the broadcast now! (GASPS) All eyes were on Ramsay STAC Y: He's dead.
except for mine.
Alright, Pete, question away.
But if Enid offers you a cuppa, I wouldn't take it.
Enid Yes? How are you, darl? I'm alright, thank you.
Nice to see you.
Yes, very nice to see you too.
You're an attractive man.
And you're an attractive lady.
Oh, get over yourself.
Are you bunged up still, Enid? Are you still bunged up? I do get a little bunged up, but not that it would affect a relationship if you're interested in having one.
You know, but they give me a little something for it so I'm fine.
Enid, interestingly he tasted your meal Well, he tasted Yes.
Your record wasn't great in terms of serving meals possibly full of poison.
Oh, well, that's only happened four times.
I know.
For goodness sake.
People exaggerate.
Fingers - he a friend of yours? Well, look, he's alright.
But quite honestly, he annoys me.
He was doing things.
What was he doing, Enid? Well, someone hit me with a pea.
On the back of my neck.
Here.
Is that what you hit when you clasped your neck? You it's Well, that's what you call a neck, isn't it? I couldn't see the I'm sure it was Fingers who you know, did a bit of pea work.
Like that? (IMITATES SPITTING PEA) Like that.
Um, you had a fight over the pumpkin.
Now, Harry wanted that pumpkin.
I g What would a man want to do with a pumpkin, Peter? And you found no reason to tamper with the pumpkin, Enid? Because the forensics have come in and there was heroin inside that pumpkin, Enid.
Get out.
Oh.
If I'd known that I would've hung onto it.
No You were opening a bottle in the refrigerated area.
What were you doing? What was in that bottle? I was not opening a! You were! I saw you! I saw you open the bottle, Enid.
Alright.
I wasn't opening a bottle.
If you must know, I was opening - look at this.
I was opening the top of my walking stick.
OK? Well, what were you doing? It's a secret walking Give me a look at it! Have my stick then.
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
I don't understa (LAUGHS) (GASPS) Oh-ho-ho-ho! Hello! This looks extremely similar to the herb that you were using beside your plate, which was tasted by I wouldn't taste that if I were you, Peter.
Why? No reason.
Peter, for God's sake.
Peter, do not taste it.
Why, Enid? Why? I'd come and slap you but I can't walk.
Why, Enid? What is it, Enid? If I was going to poison Ramsay, I wouldn't muck around with stuff like whatever that is.
Peter, you haven't shown any of the suspects the vial that you picked up.
Wait a second.
What are you going to pull out of your pocket, Peter? Nothing.
That's what I had to do.
Oh, yes.
What is this? Seen it before? Er, well, well, I know of what's in there.
It's the poison dart from the The thing about this poison What about it? is that I I would've loved it because it causes instant paralysis.
Peter, isn't that a miracle? Paralysis? See, I had to wait at least 20 minutes for my husbands to die, but if I had that Actually, Peter, I'm gonna have to stop you there.
We've got more forensic news.
The toxicology report is in on the meals.
None of them contains any trace of poison.
And neither does Stacy's smoothie.
More good news too.
We've found Fingers.
Where do you reckon we found him? I think we found him in Tahiti.
Because he would've stolen the tickets.
He was caught in the airport toilets with Ramsay McGordon's passport and ticket.
He'd just missed the flight to Tahiti.
Oh.
Fingers Keegan, pickpocket to the stars.
He targeted politicians and pop stars, but was finally apprehended when he tried his hand at a foreign dignitary.
There were a lot of smells in that kitchen.
When I saw those tickets, all I could smell was freedom.
I had it all worked out.
I had to create a distraction and hothead Harry was the perfect man.
Scumbags! I'd stirred the pot.
Now all I had to do was add some spice.
Yeah.
Paprika.
Getting the tickets was easy.
I found something green first, so I put it back.
Then I struck gold.
All I had to do was wait for my opportunity.
I was certain Harry would go psycho and I'd be out of there without anyone noticing, but he took it calmly.
Not very Harry at all.
I thought that was it.
I was stuck there for good.
Until I realised someone had plans of their own.
(ENID CALLS OUT) Stop the broadcast now! He's dead! Someone call an ambulance, quickly! Well, Pete, perhaps Fingers can point you in the right direction.
G'day, Fingers.
Er, is this gonna take long? Yeah.
Fair while.
Oh, no, it's just, er, I've gotta go, you know? Oh, well.
Bad luck.
No, it's some something I ate.
Is it? Yeah.
Oh, you'll have to poo your pants then.
Bad luck.
Is this necessary, by the way? Apparently so.
You're a very elusive man.
I was nearly away.
I know you were.
I was on the bog.
I had to go to the bog and I was nearly in Tahiti.
Oh.
Do you know what that is? Yeah.
What is that? Yeah, I know what that is.
Come on, take it.
Take it.
Oh, that's funny, isn't it, eh? Yeah.
Yeah.
I thought it was quite funny.
I told you you were a smartarse.
You've always been a smartarse.
Sorry.
Sorry.
(CACKLES) That is something, er, you know, Ramsay wore around his neck.
That's right.
Yeah.
Seems to be quite a lot there.
Yeah.
Don't think no-one's taken anything out of that, have they? Er, no, I wouldn't have thought so.
You were drinking a drink over there.
What was in the drink? Lemonade.
OK.
I'll buy that.
And something else, I reckon.
What else was in there? What else? I don't know.
(SNIFFS) How long have you been working it up for - the whole idea? Er, you know, half an hour.
(LAUGHS) You really thought that one through.
I was nearly there.
If I didn't have to go to the bog I'd be in Tahiti, not talking to you, you dick.
What'd you call me? It's a technical term.
You're a dick.
Detective.
Yes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Don't be so bloody sensitive.
I was a little sensitive.
I'm a bit sensitive too, so stop making jokes about my arse! Stop yelling at me! I'll stop you there.
Visiting time is over.
It can't be! Alright, we have the final results in from Pathology.
The poison used to kill Ramsay was indeed the venom of the poison dart frog.
Pete, I'm gonna pause so you can gasp.
(GASPS) So, you've seen the murder menu.
What takes your fancy? A power-mad producer on a bed of ambition? How about a homicidal hitman a la Harry? Or perhaps a peachy pensioner with just a drizzle of poison? What about a pickpocket determined to desert? Here's a clue for you dining at home.
The prosciutto wasn't the only ham in that kitchen.
Eh? Eh? I give the appearance of helping, but actually, I'm not.
Now, let's see if Pete makes a meal of this or if he's pasta his best.
(CONTEMPLATIVE MUSIC) Ah! Alright, Detective Rowsthorn.
Yep.
Your suspects are a-simmering.
Mm-hm.
It's time for you to stir the pot with a ladle of accusation.
Sure.
In you go.
OK.
Fingers, nice to see you again, my friend.
How you going? I'm good.
I'm good.
Is that yours? That's not funny, Fingers, OK? You were swapping things over in the kitchen.
Oh, no.
You were trying to upset Harry's recipe, which has upset Harry, so you should be a worried man.
That's right.
You didn't tell Harry that? I told Harry everything.
And Harry is highly sexual.
Anyway, you didn't make it to Tahiti because you were having trouble with your stomach in the toilet, weren't you? Do you have to bring that up? Sorry.
I think there was a connection between you and Edna over there in the distance.
Enid, you idiot! I wouldn't believe Enid spiked your drink.
You were drinking constantly throughout the entire scene.
That was very embarrassing.
Fingers! Yeah? You're off the hook.
Harry What do you want? Nothing out of you OK.
'Cause you're off.
Good.
Grouse.
You are not a suspect.
Alright, I'm back to my yoga.
But I don't know how the heroin got in the pumpkin.
But that's alright Oh, that's my Oh.
Who was that? What, are you saying I've got a greengrocer mate on the outside who supplies me with heroin on the inside? You're an idiot, mate.
Enid! Yes.
You're off.
I'm the best detective in the world.
You're in trouble.
You have fantastic access to our host, Ramsay, do you not? Well, in a professional sense, sure.
You have no idea what was in the USB stick? It wasn't taken out by Fingers.
He put it back into the man's pocket.
Harry never even saw the USB stick.
You were the only one who was aware of the USB stick.
That's the evidence of you having an affair with Ramsay 'cause that newly married man of yours is just a dud.
He's just a dud.
Errrr! You've gone mad with the bachelor and you've stolen a bit of his frog poison stuff and you've killed him.
Is that right? Did you kill Ramsay?! 'Cause I've said it over and if I say it loud enough, you'll say yes.
DID YOU KILL HIM? Pete, come over here with me where it's safe and we'll find out.
I think I was close.
Let's see how close you are.
Will the real murderer please serve themselves up? You're right.
It was me, Detective.
(YELLS) I had good reason, didn't I? He was gonna tell my husband about our affair.
That's alright, Stacy, I'll take over from here.
Sorry, Stacy.
After videoing their one-night stand, Ramsay threatened to expose their affair for publicity.
Not willing to risk her lucrative marriage, Stacy cooked up her own diabolical plan.
She convinced Ramsay to fake his own death on camera.
When you taste the final meal, go stiff as a board and then collapse straight down onto the floor.
Why do I have to pretend to be poisoned again? Are you kidding? Going out on an ad break with that, it'll be the biggest TV story of the year.
We will get renewed tomorrow.
But what Ramsay didn't know was that Stacy had her own frog venom that she'd picked up on one of her travel show trips to South America.
The murder weapon was a pin that she'd pulled out of the corkboard.
You may have noticed one sheet of paper was missing from the board.
Unfortunately for Stacy, when Ramsay faked his own death, he couldn't resist overacting - not the instant paralysis she'd asked for.
Still, Stacy went through with her plan.
She ran in and pricked the poison into his neck under the guise of checking his pulse.
Then Stacy took the incriminating USB key from Ramsay's pocket and threw it in a pot to destroy it.
Well done, Pete.
Thanks.
I feel really good about it.
Really disappointed I missed quite a lot of facts along the way.
I took I took a really good guess early and just ran with it.
So, fantastic.
Congratulations.
Yeah, thank you.
Did you spot this week's actual red herring? Go to our website, let us know.
While you're there, check out the Sleuth 101 interactive game and get an advance clue to next week's show.
Until then, I've been Cal Wilson or a very good copy.
Goodnight! Next week, television is easy, but radio is murder.
At NO YZ FM, the bad news is that their newsreader just got killed live on air.
Get over it! The good news is it's bound to boost their falling ratings.
Luck has absolutely nothing to do with it.
Guest detective Julia Morris tries to solve the biggest mystery in radio since Marconi lost his car keys.
What? Sleuth 101 - bringing you the best in murder from the '80s, '90s and today.