Sneakerheads (2020) s01e05 Episode Script

1
[airplane announcement dings]
Okay, so, international flights,
they give you cutlery,
glassware, you get the AirPods.
You get the blankets, the slippers.
You know how long it's been since I had
a good pair of slippers? Long time!
Oh, and fingers crossed they got
them little toothbrush joints.
You know, the ones with the gel inside?
With the tip on the joint?
You don't have a toothbrush?
-Yeah, of course I got a toothbrush!
What do you mean?
Everybody got a toothbrush!
I got a toothbrush right now in my pocket!
-Oh, shit!
-What?
Is that Baron Davis?
That's Baron Davis!
Come on, shit!
-Say something!
-Yo, Baron Davis, is that you?
-What was that?
-Right, he didn't ask for this.
-Hey, Baron Davis, why you in coach?
-Oh, God.
Why you ask
so many fucking questions, kid?
I was on standby in first class.
Jason Statham stole my fucking seat.
Oh, really?
You got a problem with that?
No, it's not a problem.
I'm a huge fan!
Whoa.
[hip-hop theme tune]
Devin? Dev?
No, Mom, he's not here. But I'll be sure
to tell him that if he was.
But he's not.
No, I know.
Yes, I am looking for
Cleo's stuffed narwhal.
She's been whining about it.
Oh, shit! They got trivia on this plane!
Okay.
We use this to pass the time by.
Help me with this.
-What's the capital of Mozambia?
-That's Mozambique.
Wrong, it's Maputo.
No! No, oh, my God!
[laughs] How are you this excited?
How could you not be excited?
Two best friends crossing
the whole damn planet together?
Looking for the coolest damn shoes!
Tryna make a biggest damn fortune!
I mean, damn!
Sorry, Mom, I don't have the luxury
of just storming out.
That's not how marriages work.
[sighs] Really, Devin?
No, no, it's fine. Everything's fine.
No, I of course!
Please! I just need some time to
I gotta go.
[suspenseful music]
[gasps]
[groans]
-Oh, shit.
-How long was I out?
Ah, Transporter 1, Transporter 2
and I'm halfway through
Transporter 3, so
How dope is it that we're sharing a plane
with the real-life Frank Martin?
Jason Statham? He the best, man!
I'm telling you!
I ran into him
when I walked into first class
and waited for him to use the bathroom.
Then when he got to the bathroom,
I talked to him by the bathroom.
So, you stalked him?
I got up to stretch my legs.
Stalking is like--
Standing by the bathroom
and waiting for someone to have
a conversation by the bathroom?
We had a good conversation, okay?
Did you know he was born in Derbyshire?
Oh, and he said he loved my custom kicks
that I made in shoe school.
He even said I must be pretty talented
to make something so dope!
[hip hop music]
[people chatting]
There you go, man. Yeah.
-Hey, what can I do for you?
-That depends. Are you Gia?
-Okay, I can see where this is going.
-Oh, can you?
Look, I don't know who your husband,
or your boyfriend, or whoever is.
If he's coming in here when he's not
supposed to, it's for the shoes.
If you're mad at somebody,
call Tinker Hatfield.
I never hook up with
any of my customers, ever.
Oh, so all of your customers
get cards with hearts on them?
Oh, you're Devin's wife.
-We actually did have a thing.
-[mock laughs] I knew it!
-I'ma fucking kill him!
-Look, you have nothing to worry about.
-Me and Dev are ancient history.
-Wow, Dev?
-Seriously?
-Look, I didn't--
And if you and Devin
are really ancient history,
then how the hell do you know
what I have to worry about?
Can you not do this?
You are scaring my customers.
You think I give a shit
about your customers
when you're fucking my husband?
-Okay, do not go there, okay?
-Or else what?
Are you tryna fight me?
Everything cool in here?
You're gonna have to ask her that.
Ma'am, you good?
Yes. I'm fine.
Everything's fucking fine.
Just stay away from my husband.
[Gia] Hey, you okay?
Do I look okay?
Look, you wanna know how I know
you've got nothing to
worry about with Devin?
Sure! Enlighten me!
'Cause he loved sneakers.
He loved the culture, he loved being here.
And he gave it all up because he found
something that he loved even more.
I'm his wife! He shouldn't be lying to me.
Do you like handbags?
[driver speaks Chinese]
Okay, look, I don't care
what the exchange rate is!
I ain't paying no $250
for no damn taxi ride!
I'm pretty sure we're close enough
to walk anyway, so it don't even matter.
We cannot not pay him, Bobby.
You tryna get arrested in Hong Kong?
Here you go, thank you.
That's extortion!
Is this why you brought me back here?
To show me a bag
that's impossible to find?
I'm not spending $5,000 on a purse.
Do I really look like
the type of woman who pays retail?
I thought you might like
a little insight into what it feels like.
What what feels like?
The hunt for the impossible.
Do you know that Jason Statham
was actually a model
before he was an actor
and he was on the national
British diving team for 12 years?
He actually has a really specific smell.
I wanna say it's like sandalwood,
or something like that.
I actually told him to bottle it.
Me, I'd for sure buy a bottle of Statham!
Can you please stop talking about
Jason Statham and get to moving?
Look, we got five hours
to get to the concert,
find the Zeros,
then get back to the plane.
-Man, fuck that concert.
-What?
I'm saying,
the tickets are, like, $500 a pop.
Not to mention there's gonna
be over 50,000 people there.
Which is, like, 100,000 feet,
or, like, 95,000 feet.
I didn't really calculate
the amputee rate out here.
And everybody knows when a sneakerhead
comes to Hong Kong,
they go to one spot
and one spot only, Sneaker Street.
Lucky for us, I already mapped it out
so I know exactly how to get there.
You're welcome!
Yeah, my breath is kickin' a little bit.
It's because of the altitude in China.
It's a lot different than LA
and everywhere else.
[chuckles] You mean
Bobby who talks too much
and usually needs a mint, Bobby?
-Mm-hmm.
-And your mom?
Wow! [laughs]
-So, where's this shop? Is it near here?
-What shop?
The shop where we buy the bag.
Oh, there's no "shop."
Okay.
Don't we have to pay?
We just did.
-So, where are all the sneaker spots?
-Probably around the corner.
Why do I have the feeling you have
absolutely no idea where we're going?
'Cause you're a hater, that's why.
Come on. We just a little south of
our intended destination, that's all.
This way.
How dope is this, man?
I mean, we might be
the only two black people
within a thousand-mile radius,
but we're here!
I know you're sick of
hearing about Jason Statham,
but he did give me his business card.
Told me to hit him up if we need anything.
-Yeah, sure he did.
-I'm for real!
-Look, Jason Statham drip, see that?
-You know that's not real, right?
Why would he give me
a fake business card?
[hums] Let me think. Oh, yeah, I know.
To get rid of an annoying fan who had him
trapped in an airplane bathroom.
-Now, how much longer?
-We almost there.
Yeah, there's nothing big in our way,
so we should be good.
All right, let's go.
-Nothing big in our way, huh?
-Look, don't worry about it, bro.
I'ma get us across in no time.
And the glass ain't always half empty!
Sometimes the shit half full!
Think about that!
[suspenseful music]
You need to pay her $200.
-Well, does she take a check?
-Venmo or crypto, no check.
[relaxed hip-hop music]
We're here, man! Skyscraper city!
-[Devin laughs]
-Anything is possible!
-Come on, man, the Pearl of the Orient!
-Ah, man.
Do you really think
we're gonna pull this off?
Yeah, of course I do!
If I didn't believe in us,
then who the hell else would?
Oh, and before I forget,
ta-da-da-da-da-da-ta!
-Are those?
-The Infrared 3s, yeah.
These are the last pair
from your old collection.
I picked up some extra shifts
back in the day
and I bought 'em off
the guy you sold 'em to.
Why didn't you say something?
I don't know, I just wanted to
hold off for a special occasion.
And, like
what's more special than this?
Dude!
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Now stop talking
and take in the lights, bro!
[chuckles] Are you serious?
You're telling me to stop talking?
Yes, damn it, I'm telling you to stop!
Look, this is a nice moment
between friends.
It doesn't need to be spoiled with words.
Just soak it in!
[horn honks]
[announcement in Chinese]
This way.
If you're looking for something
nobody can find,
this is where you'll find it.
[machinery whirs]
[man] Welcome back.
What are we in the market for
on this fine California afternoon?
[chuckles] Another one just like this.
That's a tall order.
Alaskan Thunderfuck?
That's Jefferson's favorite.
Back in a jiff.
-Go ahead.
-So Thank you.
-This is just a normal day for you?
-No, not exactly.
Last week I heard
about a stash of Louboutins
and ended up wasting nine hours
at an estate sale with no air conditioning
in Rancho Cucamonga.
[laughs]
But like I said, it's the hunt
that matters. That and the nod.
-The nod?
-Devin's never told you about the nod?
I have absolutely no idea
what you're talking about.
You ever notice how motorcycle guys
give each other a little wave of respect?
Same with sneakerheads,
same with handbags.
You get the nod
and you know whatever
you're rocking that day is on point.
That may sound silly to some
but that shit feels good.
In luck! It was hiding.
[laughs] Ah, wow!
-Oh, my God!
-Are we contento?
Oh, very, very much!
[sighs deeply] Thank you! God!
And thank you!
I mean, I can't believe you found one!
-Much less for 200 bucks!
-Excuse me?
Oh, sweetie, the 200 was for the weed.
-The bag is--
-3,000.
And that's a steal.
-$3,000?
-Mm.
-Is that a problem?
-Hell yes, that's a problem!
I'm not spending that kinda money
unless it comes with a roof rack.
What about the nod?
Pretty sure I'll be fine without it.
But hey, I had a great time, truly.
And at least I got a cigar.
-Those are $50.
-Well, damn!
Hey, this is Devin.
I can't get to the phone right now
but leave a message
and I'll get right back to you. Peace.
[voicemail beeps]
Where are you?
And why is your phone
going straight to voicemail?
[Bobby] Yo, look at this, man!
Shoe store, okay?
Shoe store. CPU, that's a famous one,
you don't even know!
-Told you we'd like it!
-[laughs]
Welcome to the world-famous
Sneaker Street!
There's so many people, man.
How are we gonna find 'em?
Well, man, time to bait the trap.
-Let's go!
-[laughs]
So, to trap a mouse you need cheese. Boom!
-It's like well-aged havarti.
-What does that even mean?
So, think about it. The guy loves sneakers
and he loves N'Sync.
Bam, I'm just putting
the two passions together.
It's like a Reese's
Peanut Butter Cup of genius.
[Devin] That makes sense.
But where did you get it from?
Your house. They're Christine's.
You went in my wife's closet?
You weren't going to, so, yeah, I did.
Now come on!
What the hell was that?
Thought you wanted one?
I do, but just because my daughter wants
a pony doesn't mean she gets one.
Fair enough. You change your mind,
you know where to find me.
Thanks.
-Give Devin my best.
-Not if I divorce him first.
[suspenseful music]
-[car honking]
-[Bobby speaks Chinese]
You think this is gonna work?
Yeah, man. Look around.
Look at where we are!
This is definitely gonna work, all right?
Just stay focused,
keep your eyes peeled
and zero distractions.
Oh, shit!
-What about these right here?
-No!
Nah, I don't like those either.
Oh, what about these?
-No.
-Or these right here?
-Or what about these right here di-di?
-No!
Ooh-eh! What about these right here?
A thousand times no!
You're not even paying attention.
I look good!
Not in the slightest, Bobby.
You know what I'm paying attention to?
The fact that we only have
an hour left to find this guy!
An hour? That's plenty of time!
We can do another lap.
'Cause I can get me another pair,
two tops! Stop me if I hit three!
-[Bobby] Yo, it's him, he's here!
-We missed it!
[saleswoman yelling in Chinese]
-Did you see him?
-No!
Cos he was for real, man!
Oh, there he go, there we go!
[dramatic music]
Whoa, whoa! This way!
-[Bobby] Yo, this guy fast!
-[Devin] Man, you see him?
-[Devin] There.
-[Bobby] There you go.
Excuse me, excuse me. [speaks Chinese]
Wait, wait, wait, wait!
-There, there, there!
-Oh, you see him?
-Come on, come on, come on!
-Look both ways before you cross the road!
-[Bobby] Where is he?
-Look, wait, do you see him?
I'm looking! Right here, right there!
[laughs] Thank God he's not Asian!
Whoa, that's racist, okay?
-No, so we can talk to him!
-Oh, okay.
Look, I'm sorry that I scared you.
But we came a long way
to meet you for those.
They even more beautiful
in real life than I imagined.
[speaks Norwegian]
-Hmm?
-Say what?
[speaks Norwegian]
-Oh, okay.
-It's a riddle.
I'm usually not good at riddles,
but I got this one.
Um, okay, is the answer a duck?
It's not a riddle, it's Norwegian, right?
Norwegian?
-[speaks Norwegian]
-Look, we want those!
You're doing it wrong. We want your shoes!
-[speaks Norwegian]
-No, no, no, no, no, no!
-We're not tryna rob you!
-Hold on.
He think we robbing him.
Let's rob him of those shoes.
-No, we're not--
-Why correct him?
-That's rude!
-We are not robbing him!
Look, we are not robbing you.
We want to trade!
How much you think he want for 'em?
Cos I'm fairly cash poor at the moment.
-Oh, are you?
-I am.
Is that because you bought five pairs
of shoes? Is that the reason?
-That's the reason I'm cash poor.
-I know.
I know that, but you know what?
He's a collector.
And he's an N'Sync fan.
Which is why I got these from Stuey.
-Yes!
-Oh!
[speaks Norwegian]
-Oh, he like that!
-Yes! These are hard to find!
You can't find them nowhere!
And we got--
-You got two of them?
-Yeah, I got three of 'em, you know.
[acts out conversation between dolls
in Norwegian]
Okay, okay, but these are signed, see?
-Signed!
-[speaks Norwegian]
Those are signed too, man.
And he playing with 'em
like they nothin', okay?
-Look, what else you got in that bag?
-I don't have nothing else, Bobby.
I don't. You know what?
This is my Hail Mary. What do you have?
Because this was your damn idea!
Okay, I don't know if you can hear it
in your voice,
but you sound very hostile!
Oh, I can hear it in my voice!
-[speaks Norwegian]
-Huh?
Wait, whoa, what's happening?
Why are you touching me?
-What happened?
-What are those?
Did he just?
Let me explain one thing to you, brother.
-Yeah.
-These are corduroy Bred 1 originals.
Okay? Just like MJ
when he used to wear his practice shorts
under his Bulls uniform?
You peel these back.
-A UNC 1 revealed.
-Yeah, yeah!
-Bobby P original!
-Yeah!
-The Butcher original!
-Yeah!
-Custom original!
-Yeah!
We trade! Yeah?
-Fuck yeah!
-Fuck ya!
-Fuck ya!
-Fuck ya!
Fuck ya.
-Yes! Yes! Yes!
-All right.
-Yes!
-Shake on it.
-[Norwegian spits]
-Oh, that's how they do it.
-[spits]
-Oh, shit!
Oh, that's juicy! Oh, that's juicy!
Did I save the day or did I save the day?
-This is way off brand for me!
-You are right!
-[whistles blowing]
-I should've trusted you.
-[police yelling in Chinese]
-Whoa, whoa.
Wait, what we do, what we do?
[speaks Chinese]
The glasses,
you didn't pay for no glasses!
Shit!
I messed up, okay? I messed up.
But no matter what happens, if they
waterboard us, if they cut our toes off,
know that I'm sorry
from the bottom of my heart.
-I'm sorry, I fucked up, I know.
-[door clicks open and shut]
[footsteps approaching]
[Bobby clears throat]
We don't take kindly
to thieves in Hong Kong.
You steal, you serve ten years in prison.
-[bangs hand on table]
-We take your fucking hand!
[bangs hand on table]
I'm gonna give you one phone call.
I suggest you make it a good one, huh?
[sighs]
Come on, say it.
Say it.
-Say it!
-Jason fucking Statham!
[bangs hand on table]
[hip-hop music]
For the people ♪
For the culture ♪
That's how we do ♪
Fuck all the vultures ♪
Hey, we don't know ya ♪
Hey, we'll just ghost ya
For the people ♪
For the culture ♪
That's how we do ♪
Fuck all the vultures ♪
Hey, we don't know ya ♪
Hey, we'll just ghost ya ♪
Hey, we don't know ya ♪
Hey, we'll just ghost ya ♪
For the people ♪
For the culture ♪
That's how we do ♪
Fuck all the vultures ♪
Hey, we don't know ya ♪
Hey ♪
Hey, fuck all the vultures ♪