So Help Me Todd (2022) s01e05 Episode Script
Let the Wright One In
1
Previously on So Help Me Todd
KATE: Todd, what have you been up to?
- Well
- You lost your P.I. license,
- and you almost went to jail.
- I've hit bottom.
My mother, Margaret Wright,
works here, and I work for her.
I took this job to work real cases.
- (CAMERA CLICKS)
- MARGARET: No, I gave you this job
- because you are broke.
- TODD: Susan? That ring
You were never getting
anything like that from me.
- (CHUCKLES)
- Harry and I have split.
ALLISON: You just need
to be true to yourself
to come out from under.
MARGARET: You're right.
Just want to move past it.
(CAR DOOR OPENS)
(INDISTINCT CHATTER OVER POLICE RADIO)
Thanks for coming down, Officer.
Never seen anything like this before.
- The car came in three days ago?
- That's right.
It was banged up pretty
bad in the accident.
When I looked underneath it,
I found these.
♪
I need the name of the car's owner.
We look very nice today, don't we?
I am not taking you to lunch.
I'm not asking. I'm just
Wait, why not? I need food.
But where are you going
that's preventing you
from buying me lunch?
Nowhere, I have a meeting nowhere.
Okay nowhere meeting.
What is happening? What's the
- What is
- All right, if you must know,
I have an interview today.
- An interview?
- Uh-huh. Mm-hmm.
Is this really therapy?
- Todd
- Yeah?
I am applying to be a member
of the Portland Preservationist
Fellowship, the PPF.
This is about jam?
Preservation, not preserves.
Todd, the PPF is an esteemed
organization dedicated
to restoring significant homes
and having them designated
as historical landmarks.
Oh, so it's just some nonsense
lady time-filler thing.
They do charitable work,
- they throw fabulous events
- I'm supposed to hold this?
and everybody
who is anybody
is on the board.
But
since when do you care about old houses?
Since Harry left.
I need something to do
outside of the office,
and these women
Okay, but you sold our old house
and moved into a brand-new
condo, so shouldn't you
I don't need these questions.
I'm about to be interrogated
- by a group of super elite ladies
- (ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)
from the heights
of Portland Heights.
And the hat protects you
from gamma rays, or ?
FELICITY: Margaret, I must
say that you're certainly
one of the most impressive
applicants we've had before us.
Partner at Crest, Folding.
Now you're dedicating
time to our mission?
I mean, it's admirable.
I passed the Yamhill Mansion
every day on my way to school as a girl.
Thank you.
And it was an eyesore,
but look at it now.
This gorgeous woodwork
perfectly restored.
And who are we
as Portlanders if we neglect
the jewels of our past?
I see here that you
live in South Waterfront.
- In new construction?
- Oh, yes.
Um, it is a new neighborhood.
Different but with views of the
historic homes across the water.
And from my vantage point,
I feel almost like a,
like a steward or protector of the city.
FELICITY: I can't think of a
more astute way of putting that.
Beautifully said.
- Right, Joan?
- Hmm.
- (GLASS BREAKS)
- Oh, Good Lord. Look at this mess.
Clean this up immediately.
I told you she was incompetent.
That cup alone cost $1,200.
Did you know that Margaret's son,
Lawrence, works directly
with the governor?
- Isn't that right, Margaret?
- Uh
That saucer is part of a set.
I mean, you're just a fool, aren't you?
FELICITY: She also has
a very lovely daughter
named Allison who is a physician
JOAN: It's virtually impossible
to get good service workers these days.
- Fool.
- That Stop. That's enough.
She's not a fool.
She's a person.
With a name.
What is your name, dear?
Judy.
There.
Her name is Judy.
Thank you, and, uh, I'm terribly
sorry for what just happened.
Well, thank you for
coming in, Ms. Wright.
We'll be in touch.
Margaret, do you know
how many of us have dreamt
- of of standing up to Joan like that?
- (SCOFFS)
It was delicious.
But now I'm not part
of the group, and
I've made myself a new enemy.
Not exactly what I was looking
for in my life at this moment.
Oh, yes. I heard about Harry.
I'm so sorry.
You know, it's been about a
year since I lost my Milton.
I never heard from you
again about his estate.
I just couldn't bring myself to
ask you to do me any more favors.
Felicity, please,
I wanted to help.
And you did, it's just that
I was so embarrassed by all of
his bad business deals and
(SIGHS) everything
else I didn't know.
Oh, you and me both. Look at us.
- (SIRENS APPROACHING)
- Two single women betrayed by idiots.
- (LAUGHTER)
- (SIRENS WAILING CLOSER)
What on earth?
(SIRENS STOP)
(INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER)
(JUDY CRYING)
What is going on?
I knew there was
something wrong with her.
Get her out of here.
Please tell me she's
not having her arrested
for breaking a coffee cup.
- (CRIES)
- Watch your head.
(CAR DOOR CLOSES)
(FINGERNAILS TAPPING)
- (DOOR OPENS)
- Finally.
- All right, stick by my side
- Mm-hmm.
and sign the papers.
What papers? What's happening?
Something about a coffee cup?
Shh! I owe you one, Jimmy.
Another one. (CHUCKLES)
- Pretty sure I still owe you.
- Aw
- We all owe each other things.
- Okay, just sign.
No, wait, what's going on?
- What am I signing?
- Thank you, Mr. Cusick.
Just sign right here. (SIGHS)
Thank you.
You had me falsely sign
into a police station?
- Who are you? Me?
- Todd.
I can't see a potential client
unless they or a family member
- request my services.
- Mm-hmm.
This woman has no idea I'm even here,
but I have a feeling she needs me.
So we're lying now?
We're not lying.
It's a facade.
Our intentions are good, and
if she doesn't want my help,
we go away.
Nothing happen (GASPS)
Here she is.
No, you stay outside.
Uh, I think as Judy Cusick's son,
I have a right to
speak to my own mother.
Don't say a word.
Do you remember me, dear?
Margaret Wright, attorney.
It's you
You stood up for me,
and then you followed me here. I
I thought you might need some help.
I don't have money for a lawyer.
Money's not what's important right now.
Just tell us what's going on.
- I had a car accident, three days ago.
- Mm-hmm.
Someone T-boned me at a stoplight,
and my car was totaled.
It was towed away, and
I guess the mechanic
or somebody called the police,
because under my car
they found heroin.
Heroin?
Oh.
(WHISPERS): This is
not about a coffee cup.
- MARGARET: How much heroin?
- Nine kilos.
It's crazy.
I have no idea how
- (BREATHES DEEPLY)
- MARGARET: And it was your car?
Yes. Okay.
And where have you been
lately? I mean, in your car.
- Todd.
- What?
Only at home and at work.
I'm always at work.
The hours are terrible.
Although I do run errands for them.
For the Portland
Preservationist Fellowship?
- The PPF.
- Yeah.
Picking up desserts or taking
packages to the post office.
Little stuff.
Oh, um
and the soaps.
What soaps?
Twice a month, I have to go
and pick up these
fancy soaps for the PPF.
I guess they're really
expensive or whatever.
And going where?
- Canada.
- BOTH: Canada?
Across the border? Canada?
Yeah, it's like a five-hour
drive up to Vancouver.
I go up and back on a Saturday.
- They pay me extra.
- Mm-hmm.
And I-I go get the soaps and
Oh, no, uh, wait. It's all right.
We're almost done. Legal counsel.
Family member. Aggrieved.
She's my mom.
Judy, I'm going to represent you.
Is there somebody we can call for you?
No. I
I don't have anyone.
Well, you have me.
You're going to be all right.
I'll be there for you
at the arraignment,
and we are going to get you out of here.
GUARD: Time's up. Let's go.
- Heroin.
- Soaps? Canada?
- Someone is
- Running drugs?
- Through the PPF.
- And you wanted to be a member.
But they didn't want me.
♪
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
Margaret, what's happening?
Uh, this is your arraignment, Judy.
Um, we're going to discover
more about the charges.
Hey, Lars.
Does your wife know you're eating that?
With your blood pressure issues?
My wife is my blood pressure issue.
- Margaret, I got four minutes.
- I only need two.
You got no case with Judy Cusick.
Not one that'll stick, anyway.
Oh, you don't call possession
with intent "sticky"?
You have to prove
awareness of possession,
which is gonna be hard enough,
but intent to sell?
She doesn't even have a parking ticket.
She has two parking tickets.
And now she has an arrest for heroin.
(PAPERS RUSTLING)
This is your offer.
It's my best, but it's my only one.
Oh. Ten to 15 years?
You're out of your mind.
Could be 25 if it goes to a jury.
Oh.
This type of heroin
that they found on her
has been trickling down from Canada
for the last ten months, and now we got
the CAC, the PPD, the DEA
and every other agency up our butts
to crack down on it.
The judge would like to speak with you.
Take your client the offer, Margaret,
before it expires.
♪
We're rejecting the offer.
It's utter nonsense.
You are being set up.
You're an unwitting mule.
So, what do we do?
We're going to beat this.
She has no idea
Who ordered the soaps,
or who loads them and
unloads them into her car.
But she did say that the events manager,
Victor Dunn, was very upset
when she got sick one weekend
and couldn't go and get them.
- Hmm.
- Margaret, I have these for you to sign.
I just need the access
point to the club.
- How I'm getting in there.
- Which club?
These women are obviously very
protective of their little coven.
- It is not going to be easy.
- Which women?
The PPF. The Portland Preservationist
Preservationist Fellowship.
Yeah, I'm a member.
You're a member?
Yeah. Peter's grandmother
gives a lot of money.
She got me in, but I never go.
The whole thing feels
a little silly to me.
Oh, yeah, my mom feels
the exact same way.
Uh, y-you go to their events?
The Labor Day boat party?
Uh, no.
We went to the New Year's Eve thing
at the, uh, Pittock Mansion.
Mom, come on, remember,
they're criminals.
- Wait, they're criminals?
- Yes, they're all filthy little drug lords.
MARGARET: We don't know that.
We don't know anything
yet. We don't have
Have a way in? Now we do.
Susan, what's the next event
on their fancy lady schedule?
Well, they have small
events all the time.
Let me look.
They actually have an event today.
Um, there's a woman who's speaking about
the history of the Yamhill Mansion,
and there's a high tea.
Great! We'll go to that.
What's a high tea?
I can't take you. This
event is women's only.
- But, uh, I could take you, Margaret.
- All right. Yes.
Let's go, and maybe
we can ask Victor Dunn,
the events manager, some questions.
If we wait to subpoena
him for a deposition,
it could take weeks.
Wait, wait, wait, wait. What?
Seriously? You two are
suddenly the investigators?
What am I supposed to do, then?
Research them.
Investigate the PPF.
Their history, their bank accounts,
check for offshore accounts,
suspicious transactions.
Oh, wait, should I shut
down every traffic light
and ATM in Portland while I'm at it?
Mom, I got to go in there.
I need to taste, touch and smell stuff.
I'm an in-person guy.
Not today, you're not.
I'm sure Lyle can find some
information online somewhere.
Oh, yes, go to Lyle.
He's very good with techtronics.
What? No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
I am not going to him.
Every time I speak, he looks
at me like I'm an idiot.
Like that.
All right, Todd.
Come with me.
Todd has something to ask you.
No, I don't.
Not me. Todd needs information
about the PPF building,
the Yamhill Mansion
- and whatever is going on inside.
- Done.
Done. Give me a break.
- I'll give you a break.
- Are you k
- Give me a break?
- Stop. Stop it, stop it.
You two are working together on this.
Uh, hi. Uh, I'm your
Uber delivery driver
- here with, uh, fresh eggs.
- Yeah, whatever. You got to speak to Victor.
Victor!
(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)
Are you Colin? You're three hours late.
Uh, yes, I'm Colin.
I'm so sorry, and you must be Victor?
And this is what you are wearing?
What part of a black collared shirt
and pressed slacks
did you not understand?
Why do they insist on
sending me subpar talent?
(GROANS) All right.
Here, put this on. Move, move, move.
Join Olivia at the prep station
and get started on those tea sandwiches.
Show this millennial what to do.
Yes, sir.
So, uh, what are we doing here?
- Dying slowly.
- (CHUCKLES)
What does it look like?
Stack the disgusting little
sandwiches on the tray,
serve them to the
disgusting monster ladies.
Get your check, go home,
take a shame shower.
All right.
Let's stack some disgusting sandwiches.
(QUIET CHATTER)
(SOFT, ELEGANT MUSIC PLAYING)
Good afternoon, ladies.
I understand you asked for me.
How may I be of service?
Yes, hello. Um, I'm Margaret Wright,
an attorney, and I was
hoping we could speak with you
about one of your
employees, Judy Cusick.
Well, I know nothing about her,
except that her arrest
has left me short-staffed.
Oh. Colin? Tea sandwiches?
Good afternoon.
VICTOR: These women do not
have salad forks or napkins,
or potatoes dauphinoise.
- Fix that, please.
- Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
Baby sannies, ladies? Either of you?
Now, do you think these are
made by elves or for them?
Todd, what are you doing here?
I specifically asked
you not to come today,
and now you have lied your way inside.
Well, it's not a lie, it's a facade,
like the one you used to get
me into the police station.
SUSAN: Have you learned anything?
What, in life or as Colin?
Because, um, the staff
here hates their jobs,
Victor's a grouch, and this
whole place reeks of mold.
- (CHUCKLES)
- VICTOR: Colin.
- Hmm? Ah.
- Bus this table.
Now, if you'll excuse me, ladies,
I'm being disrespected.
(SIGHS)
- Ah, Felicity.
- Margaret, what are you doing here?
I came here with my associate, Susan,
to ask Victor some
questions about Judy Cusick.
- You remember, the girl who
- What did they charge her with?
What did she do?
I can't talk about that here like this.
- It was drugs.
- (GASPS) What did he say?
Drugs? Was she charged with drugs?
- It is a much longer story.
- Oh?
Can I ask you something?
- Well, yes.
- Do you know
how long Judy Cusick worked here,
and was there ever anything
strange about her employment?
- Strange?
- Mm-hmm.
Judy? No. I mean, we
hardly had any interaction,
but she seemed pleasant.
Lovely, really.
Was it Joan who ordered
all the soaps for the PPF?
Soaps? What does soap have
to do with all of this?
I don't know.
Yet.
Dear God!
Shouldn't we be using tiny
plates for tiny sandwiches?
(SIGHS)
Hey.
Listen, if you want to have
some fun after work tonight,
me and the rest of the
staff are gonna wash
our brains out with bleach.
You're still here?
I'm always here.
I ran some local info
on the PPF building.
I have their property
tax rate, utility costs,
Better Business Bureau
rating, a copy of their title,
and the most recent
assessments of their building.
What do you have?
I have eagle cam.
What is "eagle cam?"
It's a webcam on a nest in Forest Park.
You know, watch the
eagles lay their eggs,
keep 'em warm, hatch
their eaglets, fly away.
And how does that pertain
to the case at hand?
Well, eagle cam is about a
quarter mile from the PPF HQ.
So, if you were to scroll through
a few weeks' worth of footage,
you'd notice someone's in there,
every night, late at night, after dark.
- Huh.
- So, I need to borrow
some, like, night vision goggles,
- all your best toys.
- Not happening.
(GROANS) But I'm going back there,
around 2:00 a.m., to get inside,
and see what's what. (SNAPS FINGERS)
- No.
- (SIGHS)
Tomorrow, I'll go back there and
set up a camera closer to the house.
We're not doing anything
until we have more information.
But they're drug dealers.
It's like hunting vampires.
You got to strike in the middle
of the night, with a silver bullet.
That's werewolves.
(SIGHS) Can I have the goggles anyway?
No. No!
You're not going back there tonight. No.
Okay, fine. Fine.
I'm not going back there.
(GRUNTS, GROANS)
(GROANS)
♪
Whoa. Geez.
(SIGHS)
Colin?
(CHUCKLES)
What are you doing here?
Are you living
at the Yamhill Mansion?
Oh, yes.
Living in splendor!
(GIGGLES)
Don't you just love
all of that fabulous wallpaper?
How long have you been living here?
Since June? April?
Gentrification drove me
out of North Portland.
My rent went up $37.
Well, I don't have $37.
So, I decided to gentrify myself.
And no one knows you're here?
Each dawn, I pack up my things
and slide them into the attic
before the harpies arrive
to scream at each other
about archival wainscoting.
So, now, do tell.
- Are you here to rob us, or are you a masher?
- No.
No. Also, my name isn't Colin,
and I'm not in catering.
I'm a detective.
And I saw you today in
the kitchen, selling drugs.
Selling drugs?
You were taking money,
covertly like this, I saw it.
Oh, my dear boy.
Those poor cater waiters are
buying leftover sandwiches
and champagne from me at below cost.
They'd starve otherwise.
I am not dealing drugs.
Not like that misbegotten Judy.
Oh, dear Judy.
Throwing her life away,
just like the one before her, Davina.
Davyna? Divianna?
- And who is that?
- Judy's predecessor.
She overdosed on drugs
and lapsed into a coma.
- Huh.
- Six months ago.
Mmm! Would you like a drink?
Yeah, I'm gonna pass on that.
But, uh, this Davina, o-or Divyna
Oh!
Yes.
Davina. Richards.
The comatose goddess of the night.
Davina Richards.
- What are you talking about?
- She's in a coma here at this hospital.
- I looked it up.
- And how can I help you with that?
I need information about her.
I know nothing about it,
and even though I'm your sister,
sharing it with you would be
- a HIPAA violation.
- HIPAA violation, I know.
How many times do I have to explain
- HIPPA violations to you?
- Just search on your little doctor computer.
Patient name, Davina Richards.
Richards? Coma ward, bed nine.
BOTH: Great, thank you.
NURSE (OVER P.A.): Dr.
Grant, ICU 4. Code black.
Uh, I will see you at dinner.
Okay. Just get out of the way.
♪
Oh.
Uh, I am so sorry, Doctor.
Didn't mean to Wait, who are you?
Who am I? Who are you?
Just a resident on my rounds.
It's my night on the coma ward.
Well, then
let's see what you know.
Look at this chart a-and
tell me what it says.
Now. O kay.
Okay, all right. Um
Patient: Davina Richards.
- Uh-huh.
- Age 42.
Has been in a coma
since April of this year.
Overdosed on heroin and
- Oh, this is interesting.
- What is interesting?
This specific organ toxicant
affected the patient's cells
on an acute cuboidal level.
Which means? Come on, now.
Talk to me like I'm a patient.
The ingestive absorption
caused tachycardia.
She did not habitually
use drugs before she overdosed.
Like
it was her first time.
Uh-huh. Very good.
Anything else?
Right. Uh, sorry. Uh
Well, just the personal notes.
Flowers. Uh
I guess those.
Fresh flowers arrive
every three days, and they're
to be placed near the patient.
Perhaps as a remembered scent, I guess.
- You guess? You guess?
- No, it's just
I Look, I'm-I'm not cutting it here!
I'm a sham!
I don't know who I am anymore.
My dad was right,
I am never gonna be a doctor.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Listen to me
Kieran stop that.
Don't you let your father
or anyone else get in your head.
- You're gonna make a great doctor.
- Really?
How do you know?
Because I was you once,
and look at me now,
an accomplished finger surgeon.
Do I still doubt myself sometimes? No.
But you will until you make it.
Now get out there,
and you save some lives.
- (SOFTLY): Thank you.
- Yeah.
MARGARET: Joan, I want to thank
you so much for coming down.
I need to speak to you about a situation
involving one of your employees.
If this is about overtime,
I don't want to hear it.
Each of my employees
signs a firm declaration
on the first day of work.
It is a not-for-profit institution.
No one is getting rich.
Not even me.
This is about Judy Cusick.
Oh, the girl in jail?
The incompetent one who
broke the heirloom cup?
(CHUCKLES) Oh, but that's right,
you're her great defender,
her personal bulldog.
You have the audacity to
tell me how to conduct myself
in my own organization.
What, all for some fumbling girl?
Well, I hope it's worth it to you.
What, is she suing me?
- Ha!
- Huh.
(MOUTHS) Joan.
Judy has been employed
by your foundation
for the last six months
as a housekeeper, a server
and she has run errands
(COUGHS) on, uh, a
bimonthly basis to Canada.
Well, I can't keep
track of every worker,
every task, every employee.
Joan, I believe Judy is innocent
of the charges against her.
Do you want to know what this is about?
I believe someone in your
organization is framing her
for drug smuggling.
(STAMMERS, SIGHS)
This is This is outrageous.
- (CELL PHONE RINGING, BUZZING)
- Whoa! Ah! Y-your phone.
Uh, Ms. Wright, your
phone. It-It's ringing.
Sorry,
I'm Ms. Wright's phone valet.
- Uh, hello.
- Oh!
How dare you come after my organization,
after after my family!
Her family?
- Joan, I'm so sorry.
- Who's her family?
Joan, don't leave. Joan.
I will never forget this cruelty.
And if you persist in
this line of questioning,
I will have my lawyers
contact your lawyer.
Joan, I am my lawyer.
Please don't leave like this.
Why are you so upset?
She said, "My family."
She has a personal stake in this.
Yeah, because her daughter, Olivia,
is that sullen cater waiter
at the Yamhill Mansion.
And guess who was kicked out of Wesleyan
for selling drugs to her dormmates?
Talk about a facade of Fakey McFakerson.
Her daughter is running heroin
through her mother's foundation?
And that is so much worse
than anything I've ever done.
The state will demonstrate
that the defendant, Judy Cusick,
attempted to transport
lethal doses of heroin
across the Canadian border,
under the streets of our city,
destroying families
and lives in her wake
He's making me sound like a monster.
That's just part of his show.
We'll be okay.
My investigator is
finding out who framed you.
to those that
threaten our very humanity,
who are we?
Justice is in our hands your hands.
The state will also demonstrate
that Ms. Cusick acted
- (CHIMES)
-
(CRYING)
Hey.
- Colin?
- Yeah?
Oh, hi. Uh, what a coincidence.
Uh, why are you crying at the bus stop?
Oh, I'm-I'm sorry, I just, uh
I owe this evil woman $9,000.
She's really overbearing.
She never listens to me.
She's kind of a shrill person, you know?
She wears shirts that are,
like, $4,000 for no reason,
and yet she still wants
me to pay her back.
I mean, it's ridiculous.
I'm in big trouble.
Mm. Yeah, sucks. I've been there.
- You have?
- Sure.
My mom wants me to pay her back
for my legal incident, but (CHUCKLES)
I'm not making anything
working at the PPF, so
If only there was a way that I could
just make some extra money.
I don't know, I'd do anything.
Anything.
I can't help you there.
(QUIETLY): What?
Oh. (CRIES)
JUDGE: Thank you, D.A. Boatman.
We will take a short recess
and continue with
defense's opening statement.
(GAVEL BANGS)
Court is in recess.
(CELL PHONE BUZZING)
Todd, what have you got?
TODD: I don't know if it's Olivia.
I mean, maybe,
but she's not biting, and my
crying was totally on par today.
(SIGHS) What can I say, Mom?
She's just a tough nut to crack.
- Mom?
- Todd, I have to go.
(CHUCKLES) Felicity.
- What are you doing here?
- I found something.
I was looking at Judy's old pay stubs,
and our original job application,
and I came across these,
old carbon receipts
from one of our ledgers.
Someone was forging signatures
and making out blank checks
for thousands and thousands of dollars,
but the only person who had
access to our ledgers is Victor.
Or someone from our support staff.
Maybe Judy?
Or Olivia. Joan's daughter.
TODD: I have something
that's gonna blow your minds.
- ALLISON: Oh.
- MARGARGET: Todd, what are
ALLISON: Ew! Todd!
CHUCK: I was still eating that salad.
MARGARET: I don't know
what you're doing, Todd,
other than making a mess.
Okay, this is the
leader of the drug ring,
and these are all the suspects
Olivia, Joan, Victor.
Now, Davina must've
threatened the drug leader,
somehow, and needed to be shut up.
- So the drug leader drugged her.
- ALLISON: As you do.
- Is the ground pepper drugs?
- No, it's a metaphor.
- For snow.
- No, it's not.
And which one is me?
You're you. You're-you're
sitting right there.
And which one put Davina in a coma?
- The pepper.
- And who's that?
(WHISPERS): We don't know yet.
Okay, you've totally lost all of us.
- Is dinner over?
- TODD: Look.
The point I'm trying to make is,
- what if Davina wasn't in a coma?
- But she is in a coma.
Yes, but what if she wasn't?
ALLISON: I'm just a doctor,
but I'm pretty sure
that's not how comas work.
Actually, it might be.
Listen, listen, we create
a ruse, a false front.
We make people thing Davina
has come out of her coma,
and then, once the drug
dealer hears she is awake,
they'll be afraid Davina
is gonna expose them,
and they'll attack Davina.
MARGARET: We root the drug dealer out.
Yes. We have all the emails
for everyone at the PPF, right?
- Yes, it was part of discovery.
- Great, so
we'll send a wide
email out "accidentally"
to everyone at the PPF
saying former employee Davina
has come out of her coma,
and she's been sent
home for whatever reason,
with a full-time care nurse.
Makes absolutely no
medical sense, but okay.
I mean, whatever.
We just need to suggest that she's back,
and she will be a surprise
witness in the trial.
MARGARET: The drug
dealer will see the email.
TODD: And zip over to Davina's home
to find out if it's the truth.
And that is what we call
- BOTH: A sting.
- An ambush.
A sting.
- I I was gonna say sting.
- Yeah.
You two have been spending
way too much time together.
(MARGARET GROANS)
(SIGHS SHARPLY)
Déjà vu.
Waiting in a car with you
for something bad to happen.
Well, Harry was a
stakeout. This is a sting.
It's very different.
And this time
- we have snacks.
- No.
You are not eating in my car.
What? I eat in my car.
Yes, which used to be my car,
and then you ate in it,
and now it's horrific.
"Horrific" seems a little unkind.
I don't want to ask this question,
- but what happens if
- You have to pee?
I'm wearing an astronaut diaper.
I have more.
Why do you care so much?
Or did you? About that stupid club?
Are you really lonely?
Well, I have my job and my family,
both of which I love very much, but
now, at night, I'm alone.
But when I run into people that I know,
I I have to
I-I feel I have to
pretend that I'm okay.
So I smile and act
like everything's fine,
because I can't say,
inside
"I'm lonely."
Or not sad lonely, but
alone.
Because it scares them.
And then they pull away,
and so I smile bigger,
- and I act like everything is fine and
- Sounds exhausting.
Oh, it is.
I'm exhausted just hearing about it.
(LAUGHS)
But seriously, Mom
Hmm?
You're not alone.
MARGARET: A car! Someone's here.
Not yet. Patience.
- We don't want to spoke them.
- Okay. (EXHALES) Okay.
Okay, go!
(WHISPERS): Go. Go.
- TODD: Hey!
- (WOMAN GASPS)
(GASPS)
Joan? (GASPS)
(EXHALES)
I'm not gonna lie.
My daughter, Olivia, has struggled.
She's had drug issues
in the past, that's true.
She was expelled for selling them.
Yes.
And whatever you might
think of me, Margaret,
I am a good mother
because I brought her home
to live with me and gave her a job
so that I could watch her more closely.
I have her drug tested
three times a week.
She's clean and no longer in that world.
Then what were you
doing at Davina's house?
I
I was in love with her.
I'm in love with her still.
- Davina Richards?
- JOAN: Yes.
You sent the flowers
to her room every week.
When I heard she came out of the coma,
I I rushed over to see her, and
Then I was devastated to
hear that it wasn't true.
We also are really hoping
that she pulls through.
Yeah, and the sting
was my mom's idea, so
If someone really tried to
murder the woman that I love,
please find them and make them pay.
Joan, that bag is not yours, is it?
No. It's Davina's.
She left it at my home, and then she
When she didn't come back
- Uh, can I see that?
- Yes.
(JOAN SIGNS)
There's nothing of
importance in there, I think,
not to anyone but me.
- W what is that?
- I I don't know. It's trash.
I couldn't bring myself
to throw any of it away.
I have to go check something.
Wait, w-where are you going, Todd?
Todd, where are you going?
Todd, where are you going?
(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)
♪
(WATCH CHIMES) Text Mom.
Mom, if I just cracked this case,
you owe me lunch every day for a week.
BOATMAN: The state rests, Your Honor.
I'm scared, Margaret.
I can't go to prison.
- Are you sure that we're
- Just wait.
Your Honor, I do have
one more witness to call.
The defense calls
Felicity Wallis.
(GALLERY MURMURING)
It's okay.
MARGARET: One of my client's jobs
was to drive to Canada to
pick up specialty soaps.
- Is that correct?
- Yes, that's correct.
Mm-hmm. And what is the reason you had
an employee drive five hours
to Canada to pick up
these handmade soaps,
rather than sourcing them from Portland?
Well,
because they use heirloom techniques
to create these
wonderful handmade soaps.
Uh-huh. And and prior to my client,
Davina Richards was
also tasked with driving
five hours to pick up soaps
- from Canada, is that correct?
- Yeah, that's correct.
And this same Davina Richards
is now in a drug overdose-induced coma.
Ms. Wallis,
do you own the business
next to the soap shop?
Fresh and Easy Cleaners?
No, I do not. That was my husband's.
Are you sure?
I mean, I know your deceased husband
left your affairs in
a messy state of chaos,
but just to jog your memory, uh
What is the signature here
of the person who renewed
the business license?
- Felicity Wallis.
- Uh-huh. But that is you, correct?
Correct.
And, uh,
what is your title, according
to the business license?
- Owner, CEO.
- Ah.
Your Honor, I'd like
to submit this license
into evidence, and I would also
like to submit two exhibits.
First, this torn piece
of dry cleaning bag
found in Davina Richard's purse.
And
this full bag from the same cleaners,
found in your office, Felicity,
at the PPF headquarters.
- Do you recognize them?
- BOATMAN: Objection.
- Relevance?
- Overruled.
But get there, Ms. Wright.
These bags are made from
the exact same plastic used
to wrap heroin found in my client's car.
Fresh and Easy Cleaners served as
a packaging center for the drugs,
and right next door to it
was the specialty soap shop.
You used unwitting PPF staff,
like my client, to make
these trips to Canada,
and while they were
inside, picking up the soap,
you had your people hide the heroin
inside and under the car.
I mean, Davina and Judy had
no idea that they were mules.
And then, you unloaded the
drugs at the Yamhill Mansion,
a place that nobody
including the DEA
would ever think to look,
making you the most
unlikely drug smuggler
- in all of Portland, Oregon.
- (GALLERY MURMURING)
Is it correct that Davina
Richards was going to expose you,
and is that why you had her silenced
with a staged overdose?
- (GALLERY GASPS)
- Objection, are you serious?
JUDGE: Overruled. Your Honor,
I pulled Davina's phone records
and text records.
So many messages going back
and forth between you two.
And it seems that you
set up a meeting with her
on the very same day
she went into a coma.
But what you didn't know
is that Davina had saved the evidence,
a little shred of plastic, in her purse,
and that shred pointed
us right back to you.
- (GALLERY GASPS)
- I don't know what you're talking about.
- (GALLERY MURMURING)
- This is just crazy.
JUDGE: Order. (GAVEL BANGING)
Order!
You nearly killed Davina Richards,
and you almost ruined my client's life.
Almost.
No further questions, Your Honor.
(QUIET CHATTER)
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
♪
- MAN: Open it up!
- Our world is crumbling ♪
- But you don't seem to care ♪
- Oh, God, the wall.
Be careful.
Ah ♪
Can you hear me, can you hear me? ♪
- Or am I in the invisible world? ♪
- (GROANS)
Hey, you can turn away if you need to.
Margaret, I owe you an apology.
I forgive you. We would be honored
if you would become one of our members.
You have earned it 1,000 times over.
I'm not sure it's quite me
to be one of you.
Thank you,
but I respectfully pass.
But I would love to
continue serving the PPF
in all of your future legal needs.
(INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER)
All right, I cracked the case,
so you have to buy me lunch all week,
and I'm thinking lobster.
Todd, you may have found
the dry cleaning plastic,
but I found the business license,
and I pulled up
Davina's phone records
Are you trying to back out of
my weeklong success lunches?
This is unfair, this is illegal.
And you should know that
because you're a lawyer.
Okay.
We solved it together,
so I will pay for lunch,
but I get to choose where we eat.
Henry Thiele's.
No, that place is terrible.
It's like dead food
that's been embalmed.
Todd, your father and I had
our wedding reception there.
Yeah, and they haven't
changed the menu since.
Oh, I forgot my phone.
I'll be right back.
Okay.
Todd.
Hmm?
Your mother gave me a
hat with a fascinator.
Oh, yeah.
(CHUCKLES): It's, uh,
it's very fascinating.
Yeah, you should actually
just probably take it off
- and and throw it out.
- I mean, I knew I was
a hat person, but, like, this hat?
Yeah, pink antenna,
definitely the real you.
Authentic. (CHUCKLES)
- Authentically me.
- Mm-hmm.
(CELL PHONE BUZZING)
Hey, babe.
Yeah.
Did you make dinner
reservations for tonight?
Oh, perfect. How was your day?
(CHUCKLES)
Okay.
- (ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)
- So, maybe for lunch
lobster.
Previously on So Help Me Todd
KATE: Todd, what have you been up to?
- Well
- You lost your P.I. license,
- and you almost went to jail.
- I've hit bottom.
My mother, Margaret Wright,
works here, and I work for her.
I took this job to work real cases.
- (CAMERA CLICKS)
- MARGARET: No, I gave you this job
- because you are broke.
- TODD: Susan? That ring
You were never getting
anything like that from me.
- (CHUCKLES)
- Harry and I have split.
ALLISON: You just need
to be true to yourself
to come out from under.
MARGARET: You're right.
Just want to move past it.
(CAR DOOR OPENS)
(INDISTINCT CHATTER OVER POLICE RADIO)
Thanks for coming down, Officer.
Never seen anything like this before.
- The car came in three days ago?
- That's right.
It was banged up pretty
bad in the accident.
When I looked underneath it,
I found these.
♪
I need the name of the car's owner.
We look very nice today, don't we?
I am not taking you to lunch.
I'm not asking. I'm just
Wait, why not? I need food.
But where are you going
that's preventing you
from buying me lunch?
Nowhere, I have a meeting nowhere.
Okay nowhere meeting.
What is happening? What's the
- What is
- All right, if you must know,
I have an interview today.
- An interview?
- Uh-huh. Mm-hmm.
Is this really therapy?
- Todd
- Yeah?
I am applying to be a member
of the Portland Preservationist
Fellowship, the PPF.
This is about jam?
Preservation, not preserves.
Todd, the PPF is an esteemed
organization dedicated
to restoring significant homes
and having them designated
as historical landmarks.
Oh, so it's just some nonsense
lady time-filler thing.
They do charitable work,
- they throw fabulous events
- I'm supposed to hold this?
and everybody
who is anybody
is on the board.
But
since when do you care about old houses?
Since Harry left.
I need something to do
outside of the office,
and these women
Okay, but you sold our old house
and moved into a brand-new
condo, so shouldn't you
I don't need these questions.
I'm about to be interrogated
- by a group of super elite ladies
- (ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)
from the heights
of Portland Heights.
And the hat protects you
from gamma rays, or ?
FELICITY: Margaret, I must
say that you're certainly
one of the most impressive
applicants we've had before us.
Partner at Crest, Folding.
Now you're dedicating
time to our mission?
I mean, it's admirable.
I passed the Yamhill Mansion
every day on my way to school as a girl.
Thank you.
And it was an eyesore,
but look at it now.
This gorgeous woodwork
perfectly restored.
And who are we
as Portlanders if we neglect
the jewels of our past?
I see here that you
live in South Waterfront.
- In new construction?
- Oh, yes.
Um, it is a new neighborhood.
Different but with views of the
historic homes across the water.
And from my vantage point,
I feel almost like a,
like a steward or protector of the city.
FELICITY: I can't think of a
more astute way of putting that.
Beautifully said.
- Right, Joan?
- Hmm.
- (GLASS BREAKS)
- Oh, Good Lord. Look at this mess.
Clean this up immediately.
I told you she was incompetent.
That cup alone cost $1,200.
Did you know that Margaret's son,
Lawrence, works directly
with the governor?
- Isn't that right, Margaret?
- Uh
That saucer is part of a set.
I mean, you're just a fool, aren't you?
FELICITY: She also has
a very lovely daughter
named Allison who is a physician
JOAN: It's virtually impossible
to get good service workers these days.
- Fool.
- That Stop. That's enough.
She's not a fool.
She's a person.
With a name.
What is your name, dear?
Judy.
There.
Her name is Judy.
Thank you, and, uh, I'm terribly
sorry for what just happened.
Well, thank you for
coming in, Ms. Wright.
We'll be in touch.
Margaret, do you know
how many of us have dreamt
- of of standing up to Joan like that?
- (SCOFFS)
It was delicious.
But now I'm not part
of the group, and
I've made myself a new enemy.
Not exactly what I was looking
for in my life at this moment.
Oh, yes. I heard about Harry.
I'm so sorry.
You know, it's been about a
year since I lost my Milton.
I never heard from you
again about his estate.
I just couldn't bring myself to
ask you to do me any more favors.
Felicity, please,
I wanted to help.
And you did, it's just that
I was so embarrassed by all of
his bad business deals and
(SIGHS) everything
else I didn't know.
Oh, you and me both. Look at us.
- (SIRENS APPROACHING)
- Two single women betrayed by idiots.
- (LAUGHTER)
- (SIRENS WAILING CLOSER)
What on earth?
(SIRENS STOP)
(INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER)
(JUDY CRYING)
What is going on?
I knew there was
something wrong with her.
Get her out of here.
Please tell me she's
not having her arrested
for breaking a coffee cup.
- (CRIES)
- Watch your head.
(CAR DOOR CLOSES)
(FINGERNAILS TAPPING)
- (DOOR OPENS)
- Finally.
- All right, stick by my side
- Mm-hmm.
and sign the papers.
What papers? What's happening?
Something about a coffee cup?
Shh! I owe you one, Jimmy.
Another one. (CHUCKLES)
- Pretty sure I still owe you.
- Aw
- We all owe each other things.
- Okay, just sign.
No, wait, what's going on?
- What am I signing?
- Thank you, Mr. Cusick.
Just sign right here. (SIGHS)
Thank you.
You had me falsely sign
into a police station?
- Who are you? Me?
- Todd.
I can't see a potential client
unless they or a family member
- request my services.
- Mm-hmm.
This woman has no idea I'm even here,
but I have a feeling she needs me.
So we're lying now?
We're not lying.
It's a facade.
Our intentions are good, and
if she doesn't want my help,
we go away.
Nothing happen (GASPS)
Here she is.
No, you stay outside.
Uh, I think as Judy Cusick's son,
I have a right to
speak to my own mother.
Don't say a word.
Do you remember me, dear?
Margaret Wright, attorney.
It's you
You stood up for me,
and then you followed me here. I
I thought you might need some help.
I don't have money for a lawyer.
Money's not what's important right now.
Just tell us what's going on.
- I had a car accident, three days ago.
- Mm-hmm.
Someone T-boned me at a stoplight,
and my car was totaled.
It was towed away, and
I guess the mechanic
or somebody called the police,
because under my car
they found heroin.
Heroin?
Oh.
(WHISPERS): This is
not about a coffee cup.
- MARGARET: How much heroin?
- Nine kilos.
It's crazy.
I have no idea how
- (BREATHES DEEPLY)
- MARGARET: And it was your car?
Yes. Okay.
And where have you been
lately? I mean, in your car.
- Todd.
- What?
Only at home and at work.
I'm always at work.
The hours are terrible.
Although I do run errands for them.
For the Portland
Preservationist Fellowship?
- The PPF.
- Yeah.
Picking up desserts or taking
packages to the post office.
Little stuff.
Oh, um
and the soaps.
What soaps?
Twice a month, I have to go
and pick up these
fancy soaps for the PPF.
I guess they're really
expensive or whatever.
And going where?
- Canada.
- BOTH: Canada?
Across the border? Canada?
Yeah, it's like a five-hour
drive up to Vancouver.
I go up and back on a Saturday.
- They pay me extra.
- Mm-hmm.
And I-I go get the soaps and
Oh, no, uh, wait. It's all right.
We're almost done. Legal counsel.
Family member. Aggrieved.
She's my mom.
Judy, I'm going to represent you.
Is there somebody we can call for you?
No. I
I don't have anyone.
Well, you have me.
You're going to be all right.
I'll be there for you
at the arraignment,
and we are going to get you out of here.
GUARD: Time's up. Let's go.
- Heroin.
- Soaps? Canada?
- Someone is
- Running drugs?
- Through the PPF.
- And you wanted to be a member.
But they didn't want me.
♪
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
Margaret, what's happening?
Uh, this is your arraignment, Judy.
Um, we're going to discover
more about the charges.
Hey, Lars.
Does your wife know you're eating that?
With your blood pressure issues?
My wife is my blood pressure issue.
- Margaret, I got four minutes.
- I only need two.
You got no case with Judy Cusick.
Not one that'll stick, anyway.
Oh, you don't call possession
with intent "sticky"?
You have to prove
awareness of possession,
which is gonna be hard enough,
but intent to sell?
She doesn't even have a parking ticket.
She has two parking tickets.
And now she has an arrest for heroin.
(PAPERS RUSTLING)
This is your offer.
It's my best, but it's my only one.
Oh. Ten to 15 years?
You're out of your mind.
Could be 25 if it goes to a jury.
Oh.
This type of heroin
that they found on her
has been trickling down from Canada
for the last ten months, and now we got
the CAC, the PPD, the DEA
and every other agency up our butts
to crack down on it.
The judge would like to speak with you.
Take your client the offer, Margaret,
before it expires.
♪
We're rejecting the offer.
It's utter nonsense.
You are being set up.
You're an unwitting mule.
So, what do we do?
We're going to beat this.
She has no idea
Who ordered the soaps,
or who loads them and
unloads them into her car.
But she did say that the events manager,
Victor Dunn, was very upset
when she got sick one weekend
and couldn't go and get them.
- Hmm.
- Margaret, I have these for you to sign.
I just need the access
point to the club.
- How I'm getting in there.
- Which club?
These women are obviously very
protective of their little coven.
- It is not going to be easy.
- Which women?
The PPF. The Portland Preservationist
Preservationist Fellowship.
Yeah, I'm a member.
You're a member?
Yeah. Peter's grandmother
gives a lot of money.
She got me in, but I never go.
The whole thing feels
a little silly to me.
Oh, yeah, my mom feels
the exact same way.
Uh, y-you go to their events?
The Labor Day boat party?
Uh, no.
We went to the New Year's Eve thing
at the, uh, Pittock Mansion.
Mom, come on, remember,
they're criminals.
- Wait, they're criminals?
- Yes, they're all filthy little drug lords.
MARGARET: We don't know that.
We don't know anything
yet. We don't have
Have a way in? Now we do.
Susan, what's the next event
on their fancy lady schedule?
Well, they have small
events all the time.
Let me look.
They actually have an event today.
Um, there's a woman who's speaking about
the history of the Yamhill Mansion,
and there's a high tea.
Great! We'll go to that.
What's a high tea?
I can't take you. This
event is women's only.
- But, uh, I could take you, Margaret.
- All right. Yes.
Let's go, and maybe
we can ask Victor Dunn,
the events manager, some questions.
If we wait to subpoena
him for a deposition,
it could take weeks.
Wait, wait, wait, wait. What?
Seriously? You two are
suddenly the investigators?
What am I supposed to do, then?
Research them.
Investigate the PPF.
Their history, their bank accounts,
check for offshore accounts,
suspicious transactions.
Oh, wait, should I shut
down every traffic light
and ATM in Portland while I'm at it?
Mom, I got to go in there.
I need to taste, touch and smell stuff.
I'm an in-person guy.
Not today, you're not.
I'm sure Lyle can find some
information online somewhere.
Oh, yes, go to Lyle.
He's very good with techtronics.
What? No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
I am not going to him.
Every time I speak, he looks
at me like I'm an idiot.
Like that.
All right, Todd.
Come with me.
Todd has something to ask you.
No, I don't.
Not me. Todd needs information
about the PPF building,
the Yamhill Mansion
- and whatever is going on inside.
- Done.
Done. Give me a break.
- I'll give you a break.
- Are you k
- Give me a break?
- Stop. Stop it, stop it.
You two are working together on this.
Uh, hi. Uh, I'm your
Uber delivery driver
- here with, uh, fresh eggs.
- Yeah, whatever. You got to speak to Victor.
Victor!
(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)
Are you Colin? You're three hours late.
Uh, yes, I'm Colin.
I'm so sorry, and you must be Victor?
And this is what you are wearing?
What part of a black collared shirt
and pressed slacks
did you not understand?
Why do they insist on
sending me subpar talent?
(GROANS) All right.
Here, put this on. Move, move, move.
Join Olivia at the prep station
and get started on those tea sandwiches.
Show this millennial what to do.
Yes, sir.
So, uh, what are we doing here?
- Dying slowly.
- (CHUCKLES)
What does it look like?
Stack the disgusting little
sandwiches on the tray,
serve them to the
disgusting monster ladies.
Get your check, go home,
take a shame shower.
All right.
Let's stack some disgusting sandwiches.
(QUIET CHATTER)
(SOFT, ELEGANT MUSIC PLAYING)
Good afternoon, ladies.
I understand you asked for me.
How may I be of service?
Yes, hello. Um, I'm Margaret Wright,
an attorney, and I was
hoping we could speak with you
about one of your
employees, Judy Cusick.
Well, I know nothing about her,
except that her arrest
has left me short-staffed.
Oh. Colin? Tea sandwiches?
Good afternoon.
VICTOR: These women do not
have salad forks or napkins,
or potatoes dauphinoise.
- Fix that, please.
- Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
Baby sannies, ladies? Either of you?
Now, do you think these are
made by elves or for them?
Todd, what are you doing here?
I specifically asked
you not to come today,
and now you have lied your way inside.
Well, it's not a lie, it's a facade,
like the one you used to get
me into the police station.
SUSAN: Have you learned anything?
What, in life or as Colin?
Because, um, the staff
here hates their jobs,
Victor's a grouch, and this
whole place reeks of mold.
- (CHUCKLES)
- VICTOR: Colin.
- Hmm? Ah.
- Bus this table.
Now, if you'll excuse me, ladies,
I'm being disrespected.
(SIGHS)
- Ah, Felicity.
- Margaret, what are you doing here?
I came here with my associate, Susan,
to ask Victor some
questions about Judy Cusick.
- You remember, the girl who
- What did they charge her with?
What did she do?
I can't talk about that here like this.
- It was drugs.
- (GASPS) What did he say?
Drugs? Was she charged with drugs?
- It is a much longer story.
- Oh?
Can I ask you something?
- Well, yes.
- Do you know
how long Judy Cusick worked here,
and was there ever anything
strange about her employment?
- Strange?
- Mm-hmm.
Judy? No. I mean, we
hardly had any interaction,
but she seemed pleasant.
Lovely, really.
Was it Joan who ordered
all the soaps for the PPF?
Soaps? What does soap have
to do with all of this?
I don't know.
Yet.
Dear God!
Shouldn't we be using tiny
plates for tiny sandwiches?
(SIGHS)
Hey.
Listen, if you want to have
some fun after work tonight,
me and the rest of the
staff are gonna wash
our brains out with bleach.
You're still here?
I'm always here.
I ran some local info
on the PPF building.
I have their property
tax rate, utility costs,
Better Business Bureau
rating, a copy of their title,
and the most recent
assessments of their building.
What do you have?
I have eagle cam.
What is "eagle cam?"
It's a webcam on a nest in Forest Park.
You know, watch the
eagles lay their eggs,
keep 'em warm, hatch
their eaglets, fly away.
And how does that pertain
to the case at hand?
Well, eagle cam is about a
quarter mile from the PPF HQ.
So, if you were to scroll through
a few weeks' worth of footage,
you'd notice someone's in there,
every night, late at night, after dark.
- Huh.
- So, I need to borrow
some, like, night vision goggles,
- all your best toys.
- Not happening.
(GROANS) But I'm going back there,
around 2:00 a.m., to get inside,
and see what's what. (SNAPS FINGERS)
- No.
- (SIGHS)
Tomorrow, I'll go back there and
set up a camera closer to the house.
We're not doing anything
until we have more information.
But they're drug dealers.
It's like hunting vampires.
You got to strike in the middle
of the night, with a silver bullet.
That's werewolves.
(SIGHS) Can I have the goggles anyway?
No. No!
You're not going back there tonight. No.
Okay, fine. Fine.
I'm not going back there.
(GRUNTS, GROANS)
(GROANS)
♪
Whoa. Geez.
(SIGHS)
Colin?
(CHUCKLES)
What are you doing here?
Are you living
at the Yamhill Mansion?
Oh, yes.
Living in splendor!
(GIGGLES)
Don't you just love
all of that fabulous wallpaper?
How long have you been living here?
Since June? April?
Gentrification drove me
out of North Portland.
My rent went up $37.
Well, I don't have $37.
So, I decided to gentrify myself.
And no one knows you're here?
Each dawn, I pack up my things
and slide them into the attic
before the harpies arrive
to scream at each other
about archival wainscoting.
So, now, do tell.
- Are you here to rob us, or are you a masher?
- No.
No. Also, my name isn't Colin,
and I'm not in catering.
I'm a detective.
And I saw you today in
the kitchen, selling drugs.
Selling drugs?
You were taking money,
covertly like this, I saw it.
Oh, my dear boy.
Those poor cater waiters are
buying leftover sandwiches
and champagne from me at below cost.
They'd starve otherwise.
I am not dealing drugs.
Not like that misbegotten Judy.
Oh, dear Judy.
Throwing her life away,
just like the one before her, Davina.
Davyna? Divianna?
- And who is that?
- Judy's predecessor.
She overdosed on drugs
and lapsed into a coma.
- Huh.
- Six months ago.
Mmm! Would you like a drink?
Yeah, I'm gonna pass on that.
But, uh, this Davina, o-or Divyna
Oh!
Yes.
Davina. Richards.
The comatose goddess of the night.
Davina Richards.
- What are you talking about?
- She's in a coma here at this hospital.
- I looked it up.
- And how can I help you with that?
I need information about her.
I know nothing about it,
and even though I'm your sister,
sharing it with you would be
- a HIPAA violation.
- HIPAA violation, I know.
How many times do I have to explain
- HIPPA violations to you?
- Just search on your little doctor computer.
Patient name, Davina Richards.
Richards? Coma ward, bed nine.
BOTH: Great, thank you.
NURSE (OVER P.A.): Dr.
Grant, ICU 4. Code black.
Uh, I will see you at dinner.
Okay. Just get out of the way.
♪
Oh.
Uh, I am so sorry, Doctor.
Didn't mean to Wait, who are you?
Who am I? Who are you?
Just a resident on my rounds.
It's my night on the coma ward.
Well, then
let's see what you know.
Look at this chart a-and
tell me what it says.
Now. O kay.
Okay, all right. Um
Patient: Davina Richards.
- Uh-huh.
- Age 42.
Has been in a coma
since April of this year.
Overdosed on heroin and
- Oh, this is interesting.
- What is interesting?
This specific organ toxicant
affected the patient's cells
on an acute cuboidal level.
Which means? Come on, now.
Talk to me like I'm a patient.
The ingestive absorption
caused tachycardia.
She did not habitually
use drugs before she overdosed.
Like
it was her first time.
Uh-huh. Very good.
Anything else?
Right. Uh, sorry. Uh
Well, just the personal notes.
Flowers. Uh
I guess those.
Fresh flowers arrive
every three days, and they're
to be placed near the patient.
Perhaps as a remembered scent, I guess.
- You guess? You guess?
- No, it's just
I Look, I'm-I'm not cutting it here!
I'm a sham!
I don't know who I am anymore.
My dad was right,
I am never gonna be a doctor.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Listen to me
Kieran stop that.
Don't you let your father
or anyone else get in your head.
- You're gonna make a great doctor.
- Really?
How do you know?
Because I was you once,
and look at me now,
an accomplished finger surgeon.
Do I still doubt myself sometimes? No.
But you will until you make it.
Now get out there,
and you save some lives.
- (SOFTLY): Thank you.
- Yeah.
MARGARET: Joan, I want to thank
you so much for coming down.
I need to speak to you about a situation
involving one of your employees.
If this is about overtime,
I don't want to hear it.
Each of my employees
signs a firm declaration
on the first day of work.
It is a not-for-profit institution.
No one is getting rich.
Not even me.
This is about Judy Cusick.
Oh, the girl in jail?
The incompetent one who
broke the heirloom cup?
(CHUCKLES) Oh, but that's right,
you're her great defender,
her personal bulldog.
You have the audacity to
tell me how to conduct myself
in my own organization.
What, all for some fumbling girl?
Well, I hope it's worth it to you.
What, is she suing me?
- Ha!
- Huh.
(MOUTHS) Joan.
Judy has been employed
by your foundation
for the last six months
as a housekeeper, a server
and she has run errands
(COUGHS) on, uh, a
bimonthly basis to Canada.
Well, I can't keep
track of every worker,
every task, every employee.
Joan, I believe Judy is innocent
of the charges against her.
Do you want to know what this is about?
I believe someone in your
organization is framing her
for drug smuggling.
(STAMMERS, SIGHS)
This is This is outrageous.
- (CELL PHONE RINGING, BUZZING)
- Whoa! Ah! Y-your phone.
Uh, Ms. Wright, your
phone. It-It's ringing.
Sorry,
I'm Ms. Wright's phone valet.
- Uh, hello.
- Oh!
How dare you come after my organization,
after after my family!
Her family?
- Joan, I'm so sorry.
- Who's her family?
Joan, don't leave. Joan.
I will never forget this cruelty.
And if you persist in
this line of questioning,
I will have my lawyers
contact your lawyer.
Joan, I am my lawyer.
Please don't leave like this.
Why are you so upset?
She said, "My family."
She has a personal stake in this.
Yeah, because her daughter, Olivia,
is that sullen cater waiter
at the Yamhill Mansion.
And guess who was kicked out of Wesleyan
for selling drugs to her dormmates?
Talk about a facade of Fakey McFakerson.
Her daughter is running heroin
through her mother's foundation?
And that is so much worse
than anything I've ever done.
The state will demonstrate
that the defendant, Judy Cusick,
attempted to transport
lethal doses of heroin
across the Canadian border,
under the streets of our city,
destroying families
and lives in her wake
He's making me sound like a monster.
That's just part of his show.
We'll be okay.
My investigator is
finding out who framed you.
to those that
threaten our very humanity,
who are we?
Justice is in our hands your hands.
The state will also demonstrate
that Ms. Cusick acted
- (CHIMES)
-
(CRYING)
Hey.
- Colin?
- Yeah?
Oh, hi. Uh, what a coincidence.
Uh, why are you crying at the bus stop?
Oh, I'm-I'm sorry, I just, uh
I owe this evil woman $9,000.
She's really overbearing.
She never listens to me.
She's kind of a shrill person, you know?
She wears shirts that are,
like, $4,000 for no reason,
and yet she still wants
me to pay her back.
I mean, it's ridiculous.
I'm in big trouble.
Mm. Yeah, sucks. I've been there.
- You have?
- Sure.
My mom wants me to pay her back
for my legal incident, but (CHUCKLES)
I'm not making anything
working at the PPF, so
If only there was a way that I could
just make some extra money.
I don't know, I'd do anything.
Anything.
I can't help you there.
(QUIETLY): What?
Oh. (CRIES)
JUDGE: Thank you, D.A. Boatman.
We will take a short recess
and continue with
defense's opening statement.
(GAVEL BANGS)
Court is in recess.
(CELL PHONE BUZZING)
Todd, what have you got?
TODD: I don't know if it's Olivia.
I mean, maybe,
but she's not biting, and my
crying was totally on par today.
(SIGHS) What can I say, Mom?
She's just a tough nut to crack.
- Mom?
- Todd, I have to go.
(CHUCKLES) Felicity.
- What are you doing here?
- I found something.
I was looking at Judy's old pay stubs,
and our original job application,
and I came across these,
old carbon receipts
from one of our ledgers.
Someone was forging signatures
and making out blank checks
for thousands and thousands of dollars,
but the only person who had
access to our ledgers is Victor.
Or someone from our support staff.
Maybe Judy?
Or Olivia. Joan's daughter.
TODD: I have something
that's gonna blow your minds.
- ALLISON: Oh.
- MARGARGET: Todd, what are
ALLISON: Ew! Todd!
CHUCK: I was still eating that salad.
MARGARET: I don't know
what you're doing, Todd,
other than making a mess.
Okay, this is the
leader of the drug ring,
and these are all the suspects
Olivia, Joan, Victor.
Now, Davina must've
threatened the drug leader,
somehow, and needed to be shut up.
- So the drug leader drugged her.
- ALLISON: As you do.
- Is the ground pepper drugs?
- No, it's a metaphor.
- For snow.
- No, it's not.
And which one is me?
You're you. You're-you're
sitting right there.
And which one put Davina in a coma?
- The pepper.
- And who's that?
(WHISPERS): We don't know yet.
Okay, you've totally lost all of us.
- Is dinner over?
- TODD: Look.
The point I'm trying to make is,
- what if Davina wasn't in a coma?
- But she is in a coma.
Yes, but what if she wasn't?
ALLISON: I'm just a doctor,
but I'm pretty sure
that's not how comas work.
Actually, it might be.
Listen, listen, we create
a ruse, a false front.
We make people thing Davina
has come out of her coma,
and then, once the drug
dealer hears she is awake,
they'll be afraid Davina
is gonna expose them,
and they'll attack Davina.
MARGARET: We root the drug dealer out.
Yes. We have all the emails
for everyone at the PPF, right?
- Yes, it was part of discovery.
- Great, so
we'll send a wide
email out "accidentally"
to everyone at the PPF
saying former employee Davina
has come out of her coma,
and she's been sent
home for whatever reason,
with a full-time care nurse.
Makes absolutely no
medical sense, but okay.
I mean, whatever.
We just need to suggest that she's back,
and she will be a surprise
witness in the trial.
MARGARET: The drug
dealer will see the email.
TODD: And zip over to Davina's home
to find out if it's the truth.
And that is what we call
- BOTH: A sting.
- An ambush.
A sting.
- I I was gonna say sting.
- Yeah.
You two have been spending
way too much time together.
(MARGARET GROANS)
(SIGHS SHARPLY)
Déjà vu.
Waiting in a car with you
for something bad to happen.
Well, Harry was a
stakeout. This is a sting.
It's very different.
And this time
- we have snacks.
- No.
You are not eating in my car.
What? I eat in my car.
Yes, which used to be my car,
and then you ate in it,
and now it's horrific.
"Horrific" seems a little unkind.
I don't want to ask this question,
- but what happens if
- You have to pee?
I'm wearing an astronaut diaper.
I have more.
Why do you care so much?
Or did you? About that stupid club?
Are you really lonely?
Well, I have my job and my family,
both of which I love very much, but
now, at night, I'm alone.
But when I run into people that I know,
I I have to
I-I feel I have to
pretend that I'm okay.
So I smile and act
like everything's fine,
because I can't say,
inside
"I'm lonely."
Or not sad lonely, but
alone.
Because it scares them.
And then they pull away,
and so I smile bigger,
- and I act like everything is fine and
- Sounds exhausting.
Oh, it is.
I'm exhausted just hearing about it.
(LAUGHS)
But seriously, Mom
Hmm?
You're not alone.
MARGARET: A car! Someone's here.
Not yet. Patience.
- We don't want to spoke them.
- Okay. (EXHALES) Okay.
Okay, go!
(WHISPERS): Go. Go.
- TODD: Hey!
- (WOMAN GASPS)
(GASPS)
Joan? (GASPS)
(EXHALES)
I'm not gonna lie.
My daughter, Olivia, has struggled.
She's had drug issues
in the past, that's true.
She was expelled for selling them.
Yes.
And whatever you might
think of me, Margaret,
I am a good mother
because I brought her home
to live with me and gave her a job
so that I could watch her more closely.
I have her drug tested
three times a week.
She's clean and no longer in that world.
Then what were you
doing at Davina's house?
I
I was in love with her.
I'm in love with her still.
- Davina Richards?
- JOAN: Yes.
You sent the flowers
to her room every week.
When I heard she came out of the coma,
I I rushed over to see her, and
Then I was devastated to
hear that it wasn't true.
We also are really hoping
that she pulls through.
Yeah, and the sting
was my mom's idea, so
If someone really tried to
murder the woman that I love,
please find them and make them pay.
Joan, that bag is not yours, is it?
No. It's Davina's.
She left it at my home, and then she
When she didn't come back
- Uh, can I see that?
- Yes.
(JOAN SIGNS)
There's nothing of
importance in there, I think,
not to anyone but me.
- W what is that?
- I I don't know. It's trash.
I couldn't bring myself
to throw any of it away.
I have to go check something.
Wait, w-where are you going, Todd?
Todd, where are you going?
Todd, where are you going?
(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)
♪
(WATCH CHIMES) Text Mom.
Mom, if I just cracked this case,
you owe me lunch every day for a week.
BOATMAN: The state rests, Your Honor.
I'm scared, Margaret.
I can't go to prison.
- Are you sure that we're
- Just wait.
Your Honor, I do have
one more witness to call.
The defense calls
Felicity Wallis.
(GALLERY MURMURING)
It's okay.
MARGARET: One of my client's jobs
was to drive to Canada to
pick up specialty soaps.
- Is that correct?
- Yes, that's correct.
Mm-hmm. And what is the reason you had
an employee drive five hours
to Canada to pick up
these handmade soaps,
rather than sourcing them from Portland?
Well,
because they use heirloom techniques
to create these
wonderful handmade soaps.
Uh-huh. And and prior to my client,
Davina Richards was
also tasked with driving
five hours to pick up soaps
- from Canada, is that correct?
- Yeah, that's correct.
And this same Davina Richards
is now in a drug overdose-induced coma.
Ms. Wallis,
do you own the business
next to the soap shop?
Fresh and Easy Cleaners?
No, I do not. That was my husband's.
Are you sure?
I mean, I know your deceased husband
left your affairs in
a messy state of chaos,
but just to jog your memory, uh
What is the signature here
of the person who renewed
the business license?
- Felicity Wallis.
- Uh-huh. But that is you, correct?
Correct.
And, uh,
what is your title, according
to the business license?
- Owner, CEO.
- Ah.
Your Honor, I'd like
to submit this license
into evidence, and I would also
like to submit two exhibits.
First, this torn piece
of dry cleaning bag
found in Davina Richard's purse.
And
this full bag from the same cleaners,
found in your office, Felicity,
at the PPF headquarters.
- Do you recognize them?
- BOATMAN: Objection.
- Relevance?
- Overruled.
But get there, Ms. Wright.
These bags are made from
the exact same plastic used
to wrap heroin found in my client's car.
Fresh and Easy Cleaners served as
a packaging center for the drugs,
and right next door to it
was the specialty soap shop.
You used unwitting PPF staff,
like my client, to make
these trips to Canada,
and while they were
inside, picking up the soap,
you had your people hide the heroin
inside and under the car.
I mean, Davina and Judy had
no idea that they were mules.
And then, you unloaded the
drugs at the Yamhill Mansion,
a place that nobody
including the DEA
would ever think to look,
making you the most
unlikely drug smuggler
- in all of Portland, Oregon.
- (GALLERY MURMURING)
Is it correct that Davina
Richards was going to expose you,
and is that why you had her silenced
with a staged overdose?
- (GALLERY GASPS)
- Objection, are you serious?
JUDGE: Overruled. Your Honor,
I pulled Davina's phone records
and text records.
So many messages going back
and forth between you two.
And it seems that you
set up a meeting with her
on the very same day
she went into a coma.
But what you didn't know
is that Davina had saved the evidence,
a little shred of plastic, in her purse,
and that shred pointed
us right back to you.
- (GALLERY GASPS)
- I don't know what you're talking about.
- (GALLERY MURMURING)
- This is just crazy.
JUDGE: Order. (GAVEL BANGING)
Order!
You nearly killed Davina Richards,
and you almost ruined my client's life.
Almost.
No further questions, Your Honor.
(QUIET CHATTER)
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
♪
- MAN: Open it up!
- Our world is crumbling ♪
- But you don't seem to care ♪
- Oh, God, the wall.
Be careful.
Ah ♪
Can you hear me, can you hear me? ♪
- Or am I in the invisible world? ♪
- (GROANS)
Hey, you can turn away if you need to.
Margaret, I owe you an apology.
I forgive you. We would be honored
if you would become one of our members.
You have earned it 1,000 times over.
I'm not sure it's quite me
to be one of you.
Thank you,
but I respectfully pass.
But I would love to
continue serving the PPF
in all of your future legal needs.
(INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER)
All right, I cracked the case,
so you have to buy me lunch all week,
and I'm thinking lobster.
Todd, you may have found
the dry cleaning plastic,
but I found the business license,
and I pulled up
Davina's phone records
Are you trying to back out of
my weeklong success lunches?
This is unfair, this is illegal.
And you should know that
because you're a lawyer.
Okay.
We solved it together,
so I will pay for lunch,
but I get to choose where we eat.
Henry Thiele's.
No, that place is terrible.
It's like dead food
that's been embalmed.
Todd, your father and I had
our wedding reception there.
Yeah, and they haven't
changed the menu since.
Oh, I forgot my phone.
I'll be right back.
Okay.
Todd.
Hmm?
Your mother gave me a
hat with a fascinator.
Oh, yeah.
(CHUCKLES): It's, uh,
it's very fascinating.
Yeah, you should actually
just probably take it off
- and and throw it out.
- I mean, I knew I was
a hat person, but, like, this hat?
Yeah, pink antenna,
definitely the real you.
Authentic. (CHUCKLES)
- Authentically me.
- Mm-hmm.
(CELL PHONE BUZZING)
Hey, babe.
Yeah.
Did you make dinner
reservations for tonight?
Oh, perfect. How was your day?
(CHUCKLES)
Okay.
- (ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)
- So, maybe for lunch
lobster.