So Weird (1999) s01e05 Episode Script

1 DEMONS COME FROM EVERY SIDE IN THE DARKNESS IS THE LIGHT OUT OF THE SHADOWS OF MY LIFE IN THE DARKNESS IS THE LIGHT IN THE DARKNESS IS THE LIGHT SURRENDER WILL WIN THE FIGHT THIS GIRL'S WALKED ON FIRE AND ICE BUT I COME OU ON THE OTHER SIDE OF PARADISE PARADISE HAVE YOU EVER THOUGH ABOUT LEAVING YOUR BODY? LIKE, SAY, DURING A MATH TEST, WHEN YOU FORGOT TO STUDY? OR MAYBE JUST BECAUSE IT WOULD BE COOL TO SPREAD YOUR ARMS AND GO FLYING? WELL, FOR THOUSANDS OF YEARS, THERE'S BEEN PEOPLE WHO BELIEVE WE CAN DO EXACTLY THAT.
THEY SAY A PERSON'S SPIRI CAN ACTUALLY LEAVE THEIR SLEEPING BODY AND TRAVEL AROUND BY ITSELF.
SOME PEOPLE SAY THEY CAN GET OUT OF THEIR BODIES BY RITUAL DANCING, OR MEDITATING, EVEN BY GETTING CONKED IN THE HEAD.
THAT WOULDN'T BE MY FAVORITE WAY.
AND THEN THERE ARE THOSE WHO SAY THEY CAN DO I WHENEVER THEY WANT OKAY, SO THAT JUST ABOU NOW, ABOUT THOSE MATH TESTS.
JACK 100% ALL RIGHT.
YES! FIONA YEAH? GETTING BETTER.
GOOD TRY.
THANKS.
I DON'T KNOW HOW TO SAY THIS WITHOUT HURTING YOUR SELF-ESTEEM, CLU.
I LOVE YOU, BUT YOU DID LOUSY.
NO OFFENSE, MISTER B, BUT AT SOME POINT, THE EDUCATIONAL SYSTEM HAS TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR OUR PERFORMANCE, YOU KNOW? YOU'RE SAYING 'CAUSE HE FLUNKED, IT'S MY FAULT? TOTALLY.
SEE, DAD, YOU'VE GOT TO REACH OUT TO US, MEET US ON OUR OWN LEVEL.
I'VE BEEN ON YOUR LEVEL.
BEING A TEENAGER SUCKED.
SO YOU KNOW HOW IT IS.
YOU'VE BEEN THERE.
YOU KNOW HOW WE FEEL.
YOU KNOW WE NEED FUN TO BALANCE ALL OF THE HARD WORK, RIGHT? YEAH.
SOMETHING LIKE A FIELD TRIP? THEY HAVE A CARNIVAL IN THIS TOWN.
REALLY? A CARNIVAL? CARNIVALS ARE AN IMPORTAN EDUCATIONAL TRADITION IN AMERICA.
CUTE CHICKS, TOO, RIGHT, JACK? ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
I'VE GOT TO UNLOAD THE BUS.
WE'LL BAG IT FOR THE DAY.
ALL RIGHT.
LET'S GET OUR STUFF.
YOU WANT TO GO CLOTHES SHOPPING WITH ME? I NEED SOME STAGE CLOTHES.
NOTHING BLACK.
EVERYTHING YOU OWN IS BLACK.
YOUR PJs ARE BLACK.
IF THERE WAS A TOTAL ECLIPSE, YOU'D COMPLETELY DISAPPEAR.
SO YOU'RE GOING TO BUY SOMETHING BLACK.
EXCUSE US! COMING THROUGH.
WE'RE RUNNING AWAY WITH THE CIRCUS! WAIT A MINUTE! WAIT! HAVE YOU GO YOUR PAGER ON? THAT'S A BIG 10-4.
SEE YOU, MOM! OKAY, WE'VE GO THE FERRIS WHEEL, THE TILT-A-WHIRL, AND THE ROLLER COASTER.
WHICH ONE DO YOU GUYS WANT TO CHECK OUT FIRST? HER.
HER.
I FEEL LIKE I'M IN A SHAMPOO COMMERCIAL.
COME ON, GUYS, SHE'S JUST A GIRL.
LET'S GO TRY THE ROLLER COASTER.
I FEEL A NEED TO PLAY GAMES.
YEAH.
I FEEL LUCKY TODAY.
HEY, WAIT UP.
HEY, KEEP OUT OF TROUBLE, SIS.
IN FACT, WHY DON'T YOU JUST HANG OU AT THE LOST AND FOUND UNTIL WE GET BACK? I'M GOING TO USE ALL YOUR RIDE TICKETS! HI.
I'M JACK.
HI, I'M CLU.
I NOTICED YOU WERE ALONE NOBODY SHOULD HAVE TO BE ALONE AT THE CARNIVAL.
YOU LEFT YOUR SISTER ALONE AT THE CARNIVAL, DUDE.
YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT.
WHY DON'T YOU GO BACK AND KEEP HER COMPANY? WHY DON'T YOU GO BACK, AND I'LL WIN THIS YOUNG LADY A STUFFED ANIMAL.
COME ON.
YOU NEVER WIN AT THESE THINGS.
I DO, TOO.
I WON A GOLDFISH IN MISSOULA.
SHE GAVE IT TO YOU OUT OF SYMPATHY.
AND HE DIDN'T FEED IT.
IT'S TIME TO PUT YOUR MONEY WHERE YOUR MOUTH IS.
SIR, I WOULD LIKE 12 RINGS, PLEASE.
THE SAME FOR ME.
YOU'RE GOING DOWN.
NICE SHOT.
COME ON.
THIS IS THE ONE.
LUCKY NUMBER THREE.
ALMOST.
ALL RIGHT, COME ON, BABY.
MAKE DADDY PROUD.
DARN IT! ALL RIGHT, FOR THE STUFFED TIGER.
SURE.
OH, MAN.
VICTORY IS WITHIN MY GRASP.
WATCH AND WEEP.
WHOA! NICE.
HEY, MAN, I NEED TO BORROW SOME MONEY.
WHAT HAPPENED TO "WATCH AND WEEP"? COME ON, MAN, AS A FRIEND.
SHE'S LOOKING AT ME.
I DON'T HAVE ANY MORE MONEY EITHER, "FRIEND.
" OKAY, PLAN B.
MAKE CONVERSATION.
SO LET ME GUESS THE BARDO BEARS IS THE HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL TEAM, RIGHT? THAT'S THE ONLY BUMMER ABOUT SCHOOL ON THE ROAD NO TEAMS.
WELL, WE DO HAVE THE BAND VERSUS THE ROADIES ON BOWLING NIGHT.
THE ROADIES RULE.
NO WAY! THE BAND IS LIKE KINGS OF THE LEAGUE! IN YOUR DREAMS! YOU GUYS ARE LUCKY IF YOU GET SPARES! WHO WAS THE ONE WHO GOT HIS FINGERS STUCK IN THE BALL? FINGER STUCK? THAT WAS A RENTAL! WHO WAS THE ONE WHO SLIPPED IN THE ALLEY SLIPPED? OH, YEAH, RIGHT.
THAT WASN'T ME.
HEY! WAIT UP! OR MAYBE I'LL TELL MOM.
THEN THEY'LL BE SORRY.
SORRY IF MY BROTHER AND HIS FRIEND HAVE BEEN HEY, SIS, DID YOU SEE HER? I'M TELLING YOU GUYS, SHE DISAPPEARED.
YEAH, WELL, THE WAY HE MAKES CONVERSATION, I CAN UNDERSTAND.
I MEAN LITERALLY.
SO, WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL US? SHE WAS A GHOST? DON'T YOU THINK WE WOULD HAVE NOTICED? WE TALKED TO HER FOR, LIKE, HALF AN HOUR.
WHO DID THE TALKING? HER OR YOU? WELLHE KEP INTERRUPTING.
I DID? YEAH! DID EITHER ONE OF YOU ACTUALLY TOUCH HER? WE'RE CLASSY GUYS.
THAT WAS A FIRST DATE.
I'M GLAD YOU HAVE GOOD MANNERS, BUT I THINK IT WAS ACTUALLY YOUR FIRST DATE WITH A POLTERGEIST.
BUT WHY HERE? MAYBE THE CARNIVAL WAS BUILT ON A CEMETERY.
MAYBE THERE WAS A FREAK MERRY-GO-ROUND ACCIDENT.
YOU'RE NOT BUYING INTO THIS? DUDE, COME ON.
SHE WASN'T SOME RAGGED-LOOKING GHOST.
SHE HAD ON A SWEATSHIR FROM THE LOCAL HIGH SCHOOL, FOR PETE'S SAKE! THE HIGH SCHOOL.
WHERE'S SHE GOING? TO FIND THAT GIRL.
I'M OUT! HEY, SHE'S MINE! I SAW HER FIRST.
HEY! SINCE WHEN DO YOU DATE GHOSTS? GHOSTS? I DON'T DATE GHOSTS.
EXCUSE ME.
THIS IS GOING TO SOUND KIND OF WEIRD, BUT I'M TRYING TO FIND A GIRL WHO I THINK USED TO GO TO SCHOOL HERE.
I'M SORRY.
I'M NOT SURE THAT'S SOMETHING I CAN HELP YOU WITH.
CODE OF THE LIBRARIANS, YOU KNOW? I ADMIRE YOUR INTEGRITY, BUT I'M ONLY IN TOWN TILL TOMORROW, AND I REALLY, REALLY COULD USE YOUR HELP.
YEAH, DUDE, COME ON.
HELP US OUT HERE.
YEAH, BUDDY, YOU CAN HELP US.
SHH! SO, YOU SAID SHE WENT TO SCHOOL HERE.
YOU DON'T KNOW HER NAME? NO.
BUT SHE HAD DARK HAIR.
IT WAS CURLY.
AND SHE'S VERY PRETTY.
YEAH, MAN, DEFINITE PARTY GIRL.
REALLY COOL-LOOKING.
WHOA! CHECK OU ALL THESE BOOKS.
CLU, IT'S A LIBRARY.
DUDE.
HOW DO YOU KNOW SHE WENT HERE? SHE WAS WEARING A BARDO HIGH SWEATSHIRT.
WHOA.
THOSE ARE A LO OF YEARBOOKS.
YEAH! WELL, NOW THAT I KNOW EVERY BARDO HIGH ALUMNUS, I CAN'T WAIT TILL THE 10-YEAR REUNION TO SEE HOW EVERYONE'S CHANGED.
DUDE, THERE SHE IS! THAT'S HER! SHE DOESN' EXACTLY LOOK LIKE MUCH OF A PARTY GIRL.
I KNOW, BUT THAT'S HER.
"CLAIRE AVNER.
"MATH SOCIETY, SCIENCE CLUB, HONOR ROLL.
" SOUNDS LIKE SHE WAS A MAJOR OVER-ACHIEVER.
WOW.
I WONDER WHAT HAPPENED TO HER.
HAPPENED TO HER? NOTHING.
SHE STILL GOES TO SCHOOL HERE.
I SAW HER IN CHEM CLASS AN HOUR AGO.
I KNOW WHAT I SAW.
SHE WALKED RIGHT THROUGH ME! FI, IT JUS DOESN'T ADD UP.
THIS CLAIRE AVNER GIRL SHE'S IN THE LAND OF THE LIVING.
JACK, YOU SAW THE PICTURE.
IT WAS HER.
AND EVEN IF THE PICTURE I SAW WAS SOMEONE ELSE, HOW COULD SHE JUST DISAPPEAR? NO! I'M 20,000 AWAY FROM AN INSTANT REPLAY, AND I GET A GUTTER BALL! OH, MAN, THIS IS TRAGIC! I'VE LOVED AND I LOST.
AND SO I DIE.
THAT'S IT! WHAT'S IT? ASTRAL PROJECTION.
WHAT'S THAT? SOME KIND OF AUDIO-VISUAL PRESENTATION? IT'S WHEN PEOPLE CAN MAKE THEIR SPIRITS LEAVE THEIR BODIES.
IT'S KIND OF LIKE BEING A GHOST, EXCEPT YOU CAN GO BACK INTO YOUR SLEEPING BODY AFTERWARDS AND WAKE UP LIKE NOTHING'S HAPPENED.
YES! THERE'S ONLY FOUR AVNERS LISTED.
AND THAT'S WHY SHE DISAPPEARED AND WHY SHE DIDN'T TALK TO YOU.
IT WAS HER ASTRAL FORM! WHAT ARE YOU SAYING? WILL YOU STOP DIALING AND LISTEN TO ME? HI, IS CLAIRE THERE? OH, SORRY.
WRONG NUMBER.
SO SHE LEFT HER BODY AT SCHOOL? FI, NOBODY IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD DO THAT.
I NEVER THOUGH ABOUT THAT.
IF SHE LEFT HER BODY IN THE WRONG PLACE AND SOMETHING HAPPENED TO IT NOW I'VE GOT TO FIND HER.
YOU CAN'T JUST CALL PEOPLE OUT OF THE BLUE.
I JUST WANT TO TALK TO HER.
HELLO? YOU'RE OFF THE DEEP END.
HI.
IS CLAIRE THERE? I'M A FRIEND OF HERS.
JUST A MOMENT.
SHE'S UPSTAIRS STUDYING.
SHE'S HOME.
CLAIRE, YOU HAVE A PHONE CALL.
CLAIRE? ARE YOU IN THERE? YOU HAVE A CALL.
CLAIRE? [ CLAIRE .]
: HELLO? THIS IS CLAIRE.
SHE WAS IN THE ARCADE, LOOKING RIGHT AT ME.
THE NEXT SECOND, SHE'S GONE AND ANSWERING THE PHONE AT HER HOUSE.
ORHEY, HERE'S ANOTHER EXPLANATION! IT WAS TWO DIFFERENT PEOPLE, FI.
WELL, IF IT WAS, I'LL KNOW IN A SECOND.
MAYBE YOU GUYS SHOULD STAY OUT OF SIGHT.
IT MAY TOTALLY FREAK HER OU TO HAVE ALL OF US SHOW UP.
DON'T ACT TOO WEIRD AROUND THESE PEOPLE.
BAILING YOU OUT OF JAIL WILL COST ME MY ALLOWANCE UNTIL I'M, LIKE, 50.
GOOD LUCK, FI.
THANKS.
HEY, CLU, OVER HERE.
CAN I HELP YOU? THAT SHOULD BE MY QUESTION.
I KNOW YOU RECOGNIZE ME.
THE CARNIVAL? THE ARCADE? I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.
MAYBE I SHOULD ASK YOUR DAD.
COME IN.
LISTEN, I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING.
HOW'D YOU LEARN ABOUT IT? CAN YOU DO I WHENEVER YOU WANT? SHH! DAD, THIS IS FI PHILLIPS.
NICE TO MEET YOU, MR.
AVNER.
HELLO.
CLAIRE.
CAN YOU EXPLAIN TO ME WHY I GOT A CALL TODAY FROM YOUR GUIDANCE COUNSELOR? GUIDANCE COUNSELOR? CLAIRE'S FALLING ASLEEP IN CLASS.
IS THAT WHY YOUR GRADES HAVE BEEN SLIPPING? WELL, THAT'S NOT LIKE YOU, CLAIRE.
WE JUST WANT YOU TO LIVE UP TO YOUR POTENTIAL.
YOU CAN BE ANYTHING YOU WAN IF YOU GE THE GRADES, HONEY.
SO IS THERE SOME PROBLEM? GOOD.
WE HAVE A DINNER MEETING.
THERE'S PLENTY OF STUFF IN THE FRIDGE, WE HAVE TO TALK ABOUT THIS.
I DON'T WAN TO TALK ABOUT IT.
WHO DO YOU TALK TO? YOU'RE NO TALKING TO THEM.
IS THAT WHY YOU DO IT? TO GET AWAY FROM YOUR PARENTS? WHEN I WAS LITTLE, I USED TO GO TO THIS TREE HOUSE, IN THE WOODS OUT BACK.
JUST TO GET AWAY.
EVEN THEN THERE WERE PRIVATE LESSONS AND TUTORS.
AND I GUESS THAT'S WHEN I STARTED LEAVING MY BODY.
SO IT IS ABOUT THEM.
NO.
NO.
IT'S ABOUT ME.
WHEN I DO IT, I CAN GO ANYWHERE.
I CAN BE ANYONE I WANT.
IT'S INCREDIBLE.
WHAT ABOUT YOUR BODY? WHAT ABOUT IT? YOU'RE LEAVING I AT SCHOOL.
NO ONE EVER MESSES WITH IT.
WHERE ELSE HAVE YOU LEFT IT? UM A COUPLE OF WEIRD PLACES, ACTUALLY.
I LEFT IT AT A BUS STOP ONCE, BUT SOMEONE ALWAYS WAKES ME UP.
HEY, IT'S FUN, AND IT'S FREE AND IT SURE BEATS THIS.
LOOK, IT MAY SEEM HARMLESS TO YOU, BUT IT CAN BE DANGEROUS IF YOU GO TOO FAR WITH IT.
HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF THE MONROE-TART OBE EXPERIMENTS? THEY DID THEM AT THE UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA IN 1965.
THERE WAS THIS BUSINESSMAN, ROBERT MONROE, WHO LEFT HIS BODY, AND WHAT THEY FOUND OUT IS HE WAS HAVING TROUBLE RE-ENTERING HIS BODY.
LIKE, ONE TIME, HE EVEN ENTERED A CORPSE BY MISTAKE.
HEY.
I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THIS GIRL I WAS SUCH A DWEEB, JACK.
I STARTED PULLING OU ALL THESE PAPERS AND TALKING ABOU ROBERT MONROE, THE OBE EXPERIMENTS, AND BLABBING ABOU ALL THIS TECHNICAL STUFF.
KIND OF LIKE NOW? WHAT'S THAT? THE ASTRAL PROJECTION NEWSGROUP.
PEOPLE ON THE INTERNE HAVE TOO MUCH TIME ON THEIR HANDS.
I WAS JUST TRYING TO REACH HER, JACK.
YOU SHOULD'VE SEEN HER WITH HER PARENTS.
IT WAS SO SAD.
LOOK, I'M NO EXACTLY SURE WHAT'S GOING ON WITH THIS GIRL BUT I AM SURE IT'S NO WHAT YOU THINK IS GOING ON.
BUT HOW ABOU WE TRY LOOKING FOR HER ONE MORE TIME TOMORROW? IF YOU'D JUST SHUT UP FOR ONE MINUTE, I BET YOU COULD THINK OF SOMETHING TO SAY THAT ACTUALLY MIGHT HELP HER.
THANKS, JACK.
I THINK.
WHY DIDN'T WE GO TO HER HOUSE? IT'S RIGHT OVER THERE.
HER MOM DOESN'T KNOW WHERE SHE IS, AND THIS IS WHERE THE FUN IS.
BINGO! THERE SHE IS! YOU GUYS CUT HER OFF ON THE OTHER SIDE! GOTCHA.
WHOA.
FI.
DID YOU FIND HER? WHERE IS SHE? SHE MUST HAVE ALREADY LEFT HER BODY.
ABSOLUTELY.
YOU BELIEVE SHE HAS A BODY, RIGHT? YEAH.
YEAH.
YOU GO FIND THAT, AND I'LL GO FIND THE PAR YOU DON'T BELIEVE IN.
SHE HEADED FOR HOME.
LATER, FI.
COME ON.
HER HOUSE IS THIS WAY.
I'M ALLERGIC TO THIS GREEN STUFF.
YOU SEE THAT STUFF RIGHT THERE? THAT'S PROBABLY POISON IVY OR DEADLY NIGHTSHADE OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT, MAN.
IF YOU'D LET YOUR LEGS DO THE RUNNING INSTEAD OF YOUR MOUTH, WE'D GET DONE A LOT QUICKER.
WAIT A MINUTE.
DIDN'T FI SAY SOMETHING ABOUT A TREE HOUSE? YOU THINK SHE'S UP THERE? WELL, LET'S CHECK IT OUT.
OH, MAN.
I THINK I SEE SOMETHING THROUGH THE FLOORBOARDS.
YEAH, WELL, IF THAT'S HER, HOW'D SHE GE UP THERE SO FAST? MAN, THIS IS HIGH, MAN.
WHOA.
OKAY, NO THE SMARTEST PLACE TO LEAVE YOUR BODY.
[ FI .]
: HELLO, CLAIRE.
I WAS THINKING ABOU WHAT YOU SAID.
ABOUT HOW COOL IT WAS TO LEAVE YOUR BODY.
I HAVE TO ADMIT I WISH I COULD TRY IT MYSELF.
BUT I'M STILL WORRIED ABOUT YOU.
EVEN IF DANGEROUS STUFF DOESN'T HAPPEN TO YOU, THERE'S STILL SOME THINGS YOU CAN ONLY DO IN YOUR REAL BODY.
[ JACK .]
: ALL RIGHT, CLAIRE, ENOUGH WITH THE PLAYING POSSUM.
WE'VE GOT TO TALK.
CLAIRE? CLAIRE! I DON'T THINK SHE'S FAKING IT, MAN.
I THINK SHE'S OUT.
TOTALLY ZONKED.
MAYBE FI'S RIGHT.
CLAIRE, WAKE UP.
CLAIRE! LOOK, I KNOW YOU'VE GO ENOUGH PEOPLE TELLING YOU WHAT TO DO.
YOU DON'T NEED ME ON TOP OF IT.
ALL I WANTED TO SAY IS THAT YOU'RE OBVIOUSLY AN AMAZING PERSON, AND IT WOULD BE A SHAME IF YOUR PARENTS NEVER GOT TO SEE WHO YOU REALLY ARE.
YOU KNOW, IT'S NOT REAL THIS WAY.
NOTHING'S REAL.
NOT EVEN YOU.
CLAIRE! CLAIRE! CLAIRE, WAKE UP! I GOT YOU, MAN! CLAIRE! I GOT YOU.
COME ON, CLAIRE.
WAKE UP! WAKE UP, CLAIRE! PULL, CLU! CLAIRE, WAKE UP! WAKE UP, CLAIRE! CLAIRE, WHAT'S HAPPENING? GIVE ME YOUR OTHER HAND! PULL, CLU! I'M PULLING! I'M PULLING! ARE YOU OKAY? COME ON.
COME ON.
YES, WE'VE GOT YOU.
YOU'RE ALL RIGHT.
IT'S OKAY, CLAIRE.
EVERYTHING'S OKAY NOW.
THANKS AGAIN.
I GUESS I'M A LITTLE TOO BIG FOR THAT TREE HOUSE.
NO WORRIES.
I THINK JACK PRETTY MUCH DESTROYED IT, ANYWAY.
YOU KNOW, I EXPEC TO SEE YOU TWO NEXT TIME YOU'RE IN TOWN.
AFTER ALL, YOU STILL OWE ME A STUFFED ANIMAL.
SCARED? YEAH.
BUT LOOK, I'M STILL HERE.
CLAIRE? MOM.
DAD.
WE WERE SO WORRIED ABOUT YOU.
WHAT'S GOING ON? WHERE WERE YOU? COULD WETALK? YES.
SHE'S KIND OF CRAZY, BUT I LIKE HER.
HEY, MAN, I DON'T CARE IF SHE'S A GHOST.
THAT IS MY FUTURE WIFE.
WELL, CLU, THAT'S GOING TO BE A PROBLEM, CONSIDERING SHE LIKES ME BETTER.
SHE DOES NOT, DUDE.
SHE DOES.
SHE DOES NOT.
SHE DOES.
DOES NOT.
DOES.
GUYS OH, MAN SHE'S JUST PRETENDING TO LIKE YOU.
THAT WAY, WHEN YOU'RE OVER FOR DINNER, YOU CAN WATCH THE KIDS.
WILL YOU MAKE ME POT ROAST?