Spider-Man: The Animated Series (1994) s01e05 Episode Script

1 Spider-man radioactive spider-man spider-man radioactive spider-man (Rock guitar solo) Spider blood radioactive spider blood spider blood radioactive spider blood (Guitar solo) Spider blood radioactive spider blood spider blood radioactive spider blood spider-man It's the Egyptian room.
Call the cops! Spider-man? Ah! Yeah! Hurry! Spider-man is robbing us blind! Couldn't be.
See for yourself.
(Chuckling) (groaning) (Phone ringing) huh? Uh Hi.
It's me, m.
J.
I'm not calling too early, am I? Mary Jane? No, no, no.
I've been up for hours.
Then maybe you can tell me why non-planetary masses don't exert gravitational forces.
Uh, actually, they do exert gravitational forces but it's so minute I knew you'd be the one to call.
Bet you can answer this one too: Why do theater majors have to take physics? Sorry.
You'd need Einstein for that.
Maybe I should see if hebusy Friday night.
Actually uh, Friday? I've got a physics test next Monday and I've been so busy rehearsing for the classics festival that Peter This is where you're supposed to say "I'd love to help.
" We could see a movie.
A movie? Uh, hold on a sec while I check my schedule.
Yes! Yes! Tight schedule, but I think I can make it.
Great! See you then.
Oh, and, Peter try to wear matching socks this time.
Whoa! She doesn't need tutoring, not really.
I must have made a better impression than I thought on our blind date.
Good morning, aunt may.
Peter, look! This is terrible! Spider-man robbed the metropolitan museum last night.
Took dozens of valuable artifacts.
Manhandled the guards! That's impossible! Anyone could put on a spider-man costume and break into the museum.
But who else could do that? Peter: Well, uh Or that? The sheer lack of respect Now, that I'll cop to but I'm not a thief.
Off to work, aunt may.
Yes, dear, yes.
Have a nice day, Peter.
Never could understand why so many people thought spider-man was a hero.
Man: You're on in 15 seconds, Mr.
Jameson.
(Clearing throat) Parker, get over here, now! Be right there.
Kind of surprised to see you handling this one yourself.
I cover spider-man whenever, wherever.
Unlike you.
Why weren't there any pictures on my desk this morning? I'm sorry, but I can't sell "sorry.
" You call yourself a newsman? You're on, j.
J.
J.
Jonah Jameson here live with a special broadcast of "spider-man: The final humiliation.
" Love to stick around for the rest of your babble, but Incredible! Looks like somebody left a souvenir.
Hey, hold it! Oops.
Lieutenant Lee, N.
Y.
P.
D.
What are you doing? I'm a photographer for the bugle Peter Parker.
Parker? Spider-man's private paparazzi? Yeah, but I guess I'm a little late this time.
Hey, wait the minute what's that? Uh, just something I found.
That's spider- man's webbing.
You know, I could bust you for removing evidence? Are you sure it's his webbing? Talk to me.
Spider-man's webbing always dissolves after an hour.
This junk's been here since last night.
Maybe he's just using different chemicals now.
Come on.
We better continue this downtown.
(Rumbling) Man: Don't be afraid! I'm here to help.
I am mysterio and I am putting spider-man on notice! There's no place you'll be able to hide and nowhere you can run.
Far as I'm concerned you're just another creep in a costume.
What can you do? I was hoping you'd ask.
(Laughing) (People gasping) Cheap parlor trick.
I guarantee you I'll catch spider-man but I want all you big-shot media people there to record it.
And now that I've started things rolling Don't drop the ball! Ah! (People yelling) Everybody out of here, now! (Mysterio cackling) how'd he do that? Good question.
I should have known it was a fake.
My spider-sense didn't go off.
Hero to goat overnight and I'm not even a politician.
And this mysterio guy where did he come from, and.
.
? Newscaster: We're getting reports of another incident involving spider-man this one at the Brooklyn bridge mall.
According to police Time to go meet my evil twin.
(People yelling) Man: Don't let him get away! I'll never understand why everybody thinks they can be a super-hero.
Just a cheap imitation.
Can't compare to my own winsome charm.
Whoa! Ooh! (Low chuckle) I recognize that laugh.
Mysterio.
That fake spider-man vanishes and you appear.
He's just another one of your illusions, isn't he? You'the fake.
(Anxious murmuring) don't be afraid! I won't let him hurt you.
You're the one who has to worry about getting hurt, pal.
I'm more than ready to take you on but not here.
It's got to be the same place where you ruined me.
You've got a little too much gravel in that fishbowl.
I don't know what you're talking about.
Oh, it'll all be explained.
Just follow the yellow brick road.
(People laughing) I'm beginning to feel like a certain coyote.
(Sirens blaring) (People cheering) (People yelling and jeering) What next? Peasants with torches? Well, you turned them against me.
Now what? This.
(Grunting) (Cheering) I always did like a good cliffhanger.
Ah, the museum trick.
Not falling for Uh-oh! Ooh! No sign of them.
Over.
No one could hold his breath this long.
Let's call it a night.
Over.
(Gasps) (coughing) That's it.
Next paycheck I'm definitely springing for a snorkel.
So spider-man's fish food now and the city has a new hero mysterio.
A real hero.
Gas bag.
A man who.
(Phone ringing) what? Peter? Just wanted to make sure you're still alive.
Mary Jane.
Oh, no, our date.
I forgot.
You sure know how to make a girl feel important.
Look, if it isn't too late.
Sorry.
In my league, it's one strike and you're out.
But Oh, that does it.
My life's been a mess since the day I put you on.
I can't even keep a date because of you.
Time to turn my life around.
Hello, world.
Good-bye, spider-man.
(Knocking) Don't bother, aunt may.
I got it.
Just because I take a picture of spider-man every now and then it doesn't mean I know how to find him.
Anyway, I hear he's fish chow now.
No corpus delicti, Parker.
I'm betting he's still spinning webs somewhere.
Find him.
Be my guest.
Parker, I think he's been framed.
This could be your chance to help an innocent man.
Sorry.
Not my table.
I don't talk this around down at the station, but But what? I've tried to figure out who he is and what side he's on.
I don't know all the answers, but I do know one thing he never turned his back when he could help which is what you're doing.
All those times you were taking pictures of him, Parker? Huh! Too bad none of his character rubbed off.
She's right.
Spidey never did turn his back when he was needed.
Except once.
Right after I got my powers I figured I could earn some quick bucks wrestling.
I made the costume so nobody would recognize me.
Hey, help! Grab him! Don't let him get away! Hey, sorry, pal.
I'm a wrestler, not a cop.
I figured, why should I get involved? The police were at aunt may's.
Someone had broken in.
Bad news for you son.
My uncle Ben tried to stop him but the guy was armed.
The cop told me the one who did it had been chased to a warehouse and whoever it was, I wanted him first.
And I got him too.
It was the crook from the arena the one I should have stopped, but I didn't.
I had the power and I didn't use it.
I lost my uncle because I ignored my responsibilities.
He always used to tell me with great power comes great responsibility.
If I stop being spider-man who else will suffer? Going my way? This is driving me crazy.
You think I'd remember a guy with a fishbowl for a head.
Probably wasn't born with it.
Just guessing, though.
Wait.
He said the bridge was the place I ruined him.
Brooklyn bridge.
Incidents involving spider-man: Car accidents, helicopter crash robberies Must be your hangout.
A helicopter crash.
I remember.
A film crew was shooting a car-chase movieon the bridge.
Let me call it up.
They were filming a scene with sequential explosions.
One of them was too powerful, and it damaged a rotor.
There's more.
Right before the crash I thought I saw something near the tower.
It was a mortar.
The special effects man had hidden it without getting a permit.
He wanted a bigger explosion.
It was his fault it went down and he'd have gotten away with it If I hadn't caught him.
They'll arrest me for this and it's all because of you! I will get you, I swear.
This is something you have trouble remembering? Hey, I hear that kind of thing two, three times a week.
His name was Quentin Beck.
He got a year in jail for his crime.
That Beck's address? Wonder studios? Yeah, but That clinches it.
And New York welcomes mysterio as its newest and greatest A fax coming in for you, sir.
"Dear chuckles "want the real story on mysterio and spider-man? "Go to wonder studios now.
Your friendly neighborhood spider-man.
" Whoa.
Beck's a one-man spidey fan club.
Suction cups.
Seems kind of low-tech, but, hey, it works.
Beck's got all the plans right here.
The museum, the mall, the bridge It must have taken him months to set up those stunts.
(Gasps) the museum roof caving in! So that's how he did it.
Beck's created a new holographic technology small, portable and frighteningly realistic.
There are a lot of brains in that sick fish bowl.
Looks like he was planning a major crime spree.
Okay, Beck, you Getting real tired of these fakes, Beck.
Beck: It's not all fake.
Some of it is real.
You decide which is which you can.
Oh.
I'll give you a little help.
When you disappear it won't be an illusion.
Hey! What is this, Beck? Carnival time? At least I didn't have to wait in line.
(Grunting) Spider-man's in there, isn't he? This is none of your business.
You can't talk to me that way.
I have influence.
I'll have you pounding a beat.
Look, you want in then give me a hand with this door.
(Groans) Next time I'll stick to the pony rides.
Why is my spider sense going cra (Roars) oh, great.
Now I've stepped into a ray harryhausen movie.
Or maybe it's Roger corman.
(Roaring) Let's see how real you are.
That's Hollywood for you gruff exterior but underneath it all, a heart of aluminum.
There's a certain irony here.
Time for the cavalry to arrive, isn't it? Well, they're here.
Help! Get us out of here! They have nothing to do with this.
Let them go.
Well, Jamison you can keep Enough! It's payback time.
Payback? For what?! You did it all to yourself.
Yes.
That's what my psychiatrist said.
But you know what? His sessions never made me feel this good.
(Yelling) Help me! Help! Hurry! Loop it around.
Okay, spidey, pull like you've never pulled before.
(Grunts) Time for the grand finale.
Which of us is real? By the time you figure it out it'll be too late.
One chance.
I got to trust my spider sense.
Just close my eyes and What do you think of your big hero now? Just get me out of this.
Did I hear a "please"? Guess that's a wrap.
Mary Jane: A riddle, Mr.
Parker what do I have in common with spider-man? Uh you both look good in skintight outfits? No.
We both haven't been ourselves lately.
Care to walk me to class? Sure.
Look, I'm sorry for hanging up on you last night.
And I'm sorry I forgot our date.
Still want help with your physics? Nay, good sir.
To paraphrase an ancient playwright she who learns must study.
So I did, and I passed my test.
Congratulations.
Thanks.
My class is in here.
Got to run.
But, you know physics is a lot like theater.
I get it now.
It's all about making sense out of life.
Once I realized that it was easy.
I get it now too.
Thanks for helping me make sense out of my life, uncle Ben and spider-man's life too.