Star vs. the Forces of Evil (2015) s01e05 Episode Script
Diaz Family Vacation; Brittney's Party
1 [title music plays.]
It's gonna get a little weird Gonna get a little wild I ain't from round here I'm from another dimension It's gonna get a little weird Gonna have a good time! I ain't from round here I'm from another Whoo-hoo! Yea-ah! I'm talking rainbows I'm talking puppies Puh-puh-puh-puh-puh- puh-puh-pu-uuhh! It's gonna get a little weird gonna get a little wild I ain't from round here I'm from another dimension! Of course, very few are aware of this serious matter so I'll be traveling afar to give an all-day lecture explaining the proper throne posture.
Slouched shoulders are an epidemic among nobility these days.
Blah, blah, blah, posture.
Blah, blah, blah, back problems.
So this is what it's like to be bored to death.
Star! Are those dimensional scissors? Uh no, of course not.
Just normal Earth scissors.
See? Good.
Because you're not to leave Earth.
[giggles nervously.]
I would never think of it.
Glad to hear it.
I'm sorry.
Your mother and I must cut you short.
- I have lecture things to do.
- Oh, him and his lectures.
Okay, bye.
[growling.]
Star, we're about to celebrate my parents' anniversary.
- Come on.
- Oh, no, I didn't get them anything.
Don't worry about it.
My gift can be from both of us.
But I want to get them something just from me, 'cause your parents are actually cool.
Cool? Cool [giggling.]
Ahem! - Oh, hello, kids.
- Happy anniversary, you guys.
[both.]
Ooh! Wow, Marco.
More fanny packs.
Okay, I know you guys are non-believers, but these are way cooler than last year's.
They have everything you need, like a dilemma whistle, non-drowsy antihistamine, and a space blanket made for two.
Oh, yes, you know how much we love to travel and see the sights.
Oh, Marco, you put so much thought into this.
Gifts are such a great way to show how much you really care about someone.
I didn't think it was possible to love you more - than I do right now.
- And I'm giving you a trip to Mewni.
[both.]
We're going to Mewni! And we can use our new fanny packs.
- We go now, right? - Right now? - I want to go right now.
- Can we go right now? Welcome to Mewni! - Is this where you grew up? - No.
I live there.
[all.]
Ooh! Higher.
[all.]
Oooh!! Higher.
[all.]
Oooh!! Let's go there.
Uh, you don't wanna see that lame, cheesy, touristy stuff.
What you want is the real Mewni experience.
[babies crying, sheep bleating.]
[screaming, giggling.]
Oh, hello, little boy.
[chewing, screaming.]
[nervous laughter.]
Yum-yum.
Um oh, look, an open-air market.
- Get your hydra trail apples.
- Half off shrunken goblin heads.
Want pickled giant's toe? Is good.
I got what you need.
I'll take the wind chimes, please.
[gasps.]
- Dad! - Mmm? Star, what the - My dad's here.
- Your dad? Yes.
I don't know what he's doing here, - but if he sees me, I am dead.
- Breathe.
Just tell my parents the fanny packs are from both of us, - and we can go home.
- But they're actually enjoying my gift.
I don't wanna ruin this for them.
Okay, uh, next, I wanna show you oh, Mewni's natural beauty.
- Sounds thrilling.
- We love nature.
"Forest of Certain Death"? Oh, don't read too much into the name.
Hurry up.
So it's really kind of important to keep moving.
There's a bleeding willow tree.
- [both.]
Ooh.
- Whoa! - Here's a carnivore blossom.
- Aah.
- Are you guys seein' any of this? - See it? Can't take our eyes off it.
[both.]
Best anniversary ever, best anniversary ever! Best anniversary ever, best anniversary ever! - Wait.
Come back! - Oh, yeah.
Nice try.
"Path".
Hey, guys, did you see what I just did with that bubble gum? [Star.]
Wait.
Come back! Of course not.
Oh, wow.
These flowers are lovely.
- Not as lovely as you, dear.
- Wait for me! [blows whistle.]
[muffled.]
Hmm, it worked.
Come on, my dear.
Let me capture your beauty-ness on this magnificent adventure.
[giggles.]
Wait.
Come back.
Okay, you can stop being so cool now.
Okay, now, hold still.
[screeching.]
Ah, they're still alive.
These tracks are fresh.
[gasps.]
Pegasus feathers, he's on to me.
Nothin' makes you feel more like a man than goin' to the bathroom in the woods.
Huh? We gotta go.
It's not safe here.
- Look.
My dad is right there.
- This way.
Let's just get your parents and go home.
Okay, Mr.
and Mrs.
Diaz, that concludes the tour.
Hope you've enjoyed your Mr.
and Mrs.
Diaz? - Where did they go? - [gasps.]
Look.
Footprints.
[scary music.]
Look.
It's their stuff.
But where are they? [gasps.]
[roaring.]
[screaming.]
- Let's get outta here! - No, that thing ate your parents.
Look out! Let her go! Super Rainbow Blast! There.
A dead end! Quick.
Under here.
Wow! What else do you have in there? I pretty much used up everything when I was schoolin' the forest of certain death.
Well, everything except for this miniature miniature book of knots.
[chuckles.]
So cute.
- Did you say knots? - Yeah.
Why? - Bet you can't catch me.
- Over here! Hey, you.
Yeah, you.
You can't catch me.
Over here.
Come and get me.
Whoo-hoo! [trumpeting yell.]
- Star! - My parents are still inside that thing.
[all cheering.]
We're free! They're not here? Quick, to the large intestine, before they're fully digested.
[squishing sounds, Marco gagging.]
[giggling.]
There's nothing like a steamy bath after a long day of exploration.
- Mom, Dad.
- You're alive! And you're only wearing the fanny packs.
Ah, King Butterfly.
Care for a dip? [clears throat.]
As inviting as that sounds, I need a minute with my daughter.
Ow, ow, ow.
Star, you know you're not to leave Earth! What are you doing here? Okay, okay, but the thing is, it's not exactly my fault.
There it was an anniversary.
It all started with the fanny packs.
Hey, aren't you supposed to be giving some "boring lecture?" Uh, yes.
Got a little lost.
The directions were [chuckles.]
it all started with fanny packs.
[sighs.]
There is no lecture.
Being king is exhausting.
Every once in a while, I need to sneak away and fight monsters.
It keeps me sane.
And it's good for my throne posture.
So I get my monster fighting from you.
- Cool.
Cool! - I suppose so.
[both laughing.]
- Are you gonna tell Mom you saw me? - I didn't see you and you didn't see me.
But just this once.
[both.]
Hugs! Farewell.
It's cool that you guys bonded, and you got to see that side of your dad.
[whistling.]
I wish I hadn't seen that side of my dad.
[chuckles.]
- There she is! - Hey, Star.
- Hi, Star Butterfly.
- What's goin' on, girl? Star, will you be my science partner? [explosion.]
You bet.
- Star, I baked you a pie.
- All right! - [chomps.]
Star, I ate the pie.
- I knew you would.
Star, I wallpapered my locker with pictures of you.
That's weird, 'cause I wallpapered my locker with pictures of you! [both.]
Yeah! Star, Star.
Please zap me.
Please, please, please.
Oh, yeah.
- Gracias, Star.
- No wonder everyone's your amigo.
Oh, thanks.
Olé! - Oh, yeah, hit him! - Oh Ooh, a line.
I love lines! Why are we in line? Only for the most important social event of the year.
Brittney Wong's birthday party.
- Ooh! - No, no, no.
Yes.
No.
Ye no.
Ugh.
No! You're right.
I wouldn't invite me either.
- Yes.
- I'm in, I'm in! I'm in, I'm in, I'm in, I'm in [exhales.]
Ew, Star Butterface.
You are invited when pigs fly.
[laughing.]
[oinking.]
Problem solved.
Anything for you, Star.
[groans.]
Flying pig don't need this.
[snorts.]
- Hm! - [muffled.]
I'm going to her party It's so weird that Brittney invited us to her birthday.
And all she wanted was a flying pig.
- [gasps.]
The party bus.
- Party bus? - But I get carsick.
- It's not a car, it's a bus.
- Rabid Rocket Blast! - Aaah! Huh? I send texts straight to your heart [music.]
You will fight with that's a start So you sit, I knew it was the end Sorry, honey, I have to de-friend Ooooh [yelling.]
[gasps.]
See, that was way more fun than taking the stairs.
Ooh, sweet, a little, tiny hat.
Cool.
I can make those.
Star Butterfly, what are you doing here? - Nothin' yet.
I just got here.
- One, two, three.
Marco, what are you doing? [long gasp.]
[thinking.]
Jackie Lynn Thomas.
Play it cool.
[bus lurches.]
[retches.]
Let me sing you some birthday tunes with my mouth sounds.
[spits, vocalizes.]
- Driver, pull over this bus at once! - Lady, I can't.
We're in bumper-to-bumper traffic.
You're gonna have to wait until the next exit.
[scoffs.]
This is why I told my dad I wanted a party jet.
Hm.
- I can't drive a jet.
- Okay, now, to my invited guests, who wants to watch me open my presents? [silence.]
I'm waiting.
- [all.]
Me, me, me! - Pick me, please! Something tells me we were not invited to this party.
That's possible.
Why don't we get off at the next bus stop? We can't do that.
These people are miserable.
They need us now.
Star, we don't have to [bus lurches.]
- Are you feeling okay? - I told you.
I get motion sickness.
Don't worry, I just need to sit here, stare out this window, and never turn my head.
You do that, homie.
I'ma get this party started! Ow! Who puts a swivel chair on a bus? Whoa! With wheels? Seriously? [crash.]
- Ugh, it's not designer.
- You're welcome.
Hey, everybody, I just want you all to know I can make little hats.
- And also dogs.
- [girl.]
Ow! Check this out.
[kids exclaiming.]
[thinking.]
Not cool.
[thinking.]
There she is, Diaz.
Jackie Lynn Thomas.
You're feeling better.
Now's your chance.
Hey, do these oysters smell bad to you? Yep, taste like they turned.
[chomps.]
You better not throw up on my bus, Barfo Diaz.
- Oh! This party is a disaster.
- Hey, Brittney! I know how to make your party more fun.
Rubber Sparkle Bounce House! [kids exclaiming happily.]
Walkin' on the moon.
Isn't this fun, Brittney? Better idea.
[all chanting.]
Hot tub, hot tub.
Foaming Twinkle Bubble Ripple! Yeah! Star Butterfly rules! - Bubbles win! - Yeah, party! [groaning.]
Oh, Marco.
It's hard work makin' everybody happy.
Can you make my tummy happy? [bus lurches.]
Finally.
End of the line for the princess and the puke boy.
- Now get off my bus! - Oh, thank you.
Fresh air! [inhales deeply.]
Smells just like monsters? - Get them! - Ugh, finally.
What is going on here? Three-eyed potato baby.
Take the wheel! growls.]
She says she wants a jet.
[muttering gibberish.]
Will you get on with it?! [all screaming.]
- What's your game? - I'm gonna bus-jack this bus.
Here they come.
- Was that them? - Uh, nope.
That's a particularly stupid plan, Ludo.
[slurps.]
It's a great plan.
Shut up! Oh, just just get her.
[all roaring.]
- [sighs.]
Star's the worst.
- I know, right? - I hope you destroy her.
- Thank you! That is so nice.
[music.]
[grunting.]
[screaming.]
[speaking foreign language.]
[crash.]
[grunts.]
[slurping and laughing.]
There's a rumbly in my tumbly.
[gasps.]
Oh, no.
Marco, quick, take the wheel.
[shudders.]
[crash.]
[hissing.]
[kids cheering.]
[monsters groaning.]
Why did only we get hurt? [retching loudly.]
Outta the way.
Hey, party animals.
Oh, this is horrible! My party is ruined! Oh, man, Brittney, hot tub, bounce house.
Laser puppies and an epic fight.
[all.]
Best party ever! It hurts all over.
Just so you know, I also do quinceañeras.
Ugh! Man, Star, that party was the jam.
- Please don't with your puke fingers.
- Oh, yeah.
Sorry.
You know, if I ever have a party, you're gonna be my party planner.
[retching.]
I think Earth is a pretty great place That's saying something 'Cause I've been through outer space I think it suits me, it's just my style I think I'm gonna stay a little while I think that strangers are just friends You haven't met I'm blasting monsters and I never break a sweat I'm really thinking I could call this place home
It's gonna get a little weird Gonna get a little wild I ain't from round here I'm from another dimension It's gonna get a little weird Gonna have a good time! I ain't from round here I'm from another Whoo-hoo! Yea-ah! I'm talking rainbows I'm talking puppies Puh-puh-puh-puh-puh- puh-puh-pu-uuhh! It's gonna get a little weird gonna get a little wild I ain't from round here I'm from another dimension! Of course, very few are aware of this serious matter so I'll be traveling afar to give an all-day lecture explaining the proper throne posture.
Slouched shoulders are an epidemic among nobility these days.
Blah, blah, blah, posture.
Blah, blah, blah, back problems.
So this is what it's like to be bored to death.
Star! Are those dimensional scissors? Uh no, of course not.
Just normal Earth scissors.
See? Good.
Because you're not to leave Earth.
[giggles nervously.]
I would never think of it.
Glad to hear it.
I'm sorry.
Your mother and I must cut you short.
- I have lecture things to do.
- Oh, him and his lectures.
Okay, bye.
[growling.]
Star, we're about to celebrate my parents' anniversary.
- Come on.
- Oh, no, I didn't get them anything.
Don't worry about it.
My gift can be from both of us.
But I want to get them something just from me, 'cause your parents are actually cool.
Cool? Cool [giggling.]
Ahem! - Oh, hello, kids.
- Happy anniversary, you guys.
[both.]
Ooh! Wow, Marco.
More fanny packs.
Okay, I know you guys are non-believers, but these are way cooler than last year's.
They have everything you need, like a dilemma whistle, non-drowsy antihistamine, and a space blanket made for two.
Oh, yes, you know how much we love to travel and see the sights.
Oh, Marco, you put so much thought into this.
Gifts are such a great way to show how much you really care about someone.
I didn't think it was possible to love you more - than I do right now.
- And I'm giving you a trip to Mewni.
[both.]
We're going to Mewni! And we can use our new fanny packs.
- We go now, right? - Right now? - I want to go right now.
- Can we go right now? Welcome to Mewni! - Is this where you grew up? - No.
I live there.
[all.]
Ooh! Higher.
[all.]
Oooh!! Higher.
[all.]
Oooh!! Let's go there.
Uh, you don't wanna see that lame, cheesy, touristy stuff.
What you want is the real Mewni experience.
[babies crying, sheep bleating.]
[screaming, giggling.]
Oh, hello, little boy.
[chewing, screaming.]
[nervous laughter.]
Yum-yum.
Um oh, look, an open-air market.
- Get your hydra trail apples.
- Half off shrunken goblin heads.
Want pickled giant's toe? Is good.
I got what you need.
I'll take the wind chimes, please.
[gasps.]
- Dad! - Mmm? Star, what the - My dad's here.
- Your dad? Yes.
I don't know what he's doing here, - but if he sees me, I am dead.
- Breathe.
Just tell my parents the fanny packs are from both of us, - and we can go home.
- But they're actually enjoying my gift.
I don't wanna ruin this for them.
Okay, uh, next, I wanna show you oh, Mewni's natural beauty.
- Sounds thrilling.
- We love nature.
"Forest of Certain Death"? Oh, don't read too much into the name.
Hurry up.
So it's really kind of important to keep moving.
There's a bleeding willow tree.
- [both.]
Ooh.
- Whoa! - Here's a carnivore blossom.
- Aah.
- Are you guys seein' any of this? - See it? Can't take our eyes off it.
[both.]
Best anniversary ever, best anniversary ever! Best anniversary ever, best anniversary ever! - Wait.
Come back! - Oh, yeah.
Nice try.
"Path".
Hey, guys, did you see what I just did with that bubble gum? [Star.]
Wait.
Come back! Of course not.
Oh, wow.
These flowers are lovely.
- Not as lovely as you, dear.
- Wait for me! [blows whistle.]
[muffled.]
Hmm, it worked.
Come on, my dear.
Let me capture your beauty-ness on this magnificent adventure.
[giggles.]
Wait.
Come back.
Okay, you can stop being so cool now.
Okay, now, hold still.
[screeching.]
Ah, they're still alive.
These tracks are fresh.
[gasps.]
Pegasus feathers, he's on to me.
Nothin' makes you feel more like a man than goin' to the bathroom in the woods.
Huh? We gotta go.
It's not safe here.
- Look.
My dad is right there.
- This way.
Let's just get your parents and go home.
Okay, Mr.
and Mrs.
Diaz, that concludes the tour.
Hope you've enjoyed your Mr.
and Mrs.
Diaz? - Where did they go? - [gasps.]
Look.
Footprints.
[scary music.]
Look.
It's their stuff.
But where are they? [gasps.]
[roaring.]
[screaming.]
- Let's get outta here! - No, that thing ate your parents.
Look out! Let her go! Super Rainbow Blast! There.
A dead end! Quick.
Under here.
Wow! What else do you have in there? I pretty much used up everything when I was schoolin' the forest of certain death.
Well, everything except for this miniature miniature book of knots.
[chuckles.]
So cute.
- Did you say knots? - Yeah.
Why? - Bet you can't catch me.
- Over here! Hey, you.
Yeah, you.
You can't catch me.
Over here.
Come and get me.
Whoo-hoo! [trumpeting yell.]
- Star! - My parents are still inside that thing.
[all cheering.]
We're free! They're not here? Quick, to the large intestine, before they're fully digested.
[squishing sounds, Marco gagging.]
[giggling.]
There's nothing like a steamy bath after a long day of exploration.
- Mom, Dad.
- You're alive! And you're only wearing the fanny packs.
Ah, King Butterfly.
Care for a dip? [clears throat.]
As inviting as that sounds, I need a minute with my daughter.
Ow, ow, ow.
Star, you know you're not to leave Earth! What are you doing here? Okay, okay, but the thing is, it's not exactly my fault.
There it was an anniversary.
It all started with the fanny packs.
Hey, aren't you supposed to be giving some "boring lecture?" Uh, yes.
Got a little lost.
The directions were [chuckles.]
it all started with fanny packs.
[sighs.]
There is no lecture.
Being king is exhausting.
Every once in a while, I need to sneak away and fight monsters.
It keeps me sane.
And it's good for my throne posture.
So I get my monster fighting from you.
- Cool.
Cool! - I suppose so.
[both laughing.]
- Are you gonna tell Mom you saw me? - I didn't see you and you didn't see me.
But just this once.
[both.]
Hugs! Farewell.
It's cool that you guys bonded, and you got to see that side of your dad.
[whistling.]
I wish I hadn't seen that side of my dad.
[chuckles.]
- There she is! - Hey, Star.
- Hi, Star Butterfly.
- What's goin' on, girl? Star, will you be my science partner? [explosion.]
You bet.
- Star, I baked you a pie.
- All right! - [chomps.]
Star, I ate the pie.
- I knew you would.
Star, I wallpapered my locker with pictures of you.
That's weird, 'cause I wallpapered my locker with pictures of you! [both.]
Yeah! Star, Star.
Please zap me.
Please, please, please.
Oh, yeah.
- Gracias, Star.
- No wonder everyone's your amigo.
Oh, thanks.
Olé! - Oh, yeah, hit him! - Oh Ooh, a line.
I love lines! Why are we in line? Only for the most important social event of the year.
Brittney Wong's birthday party.
- Ooh! - No, no, no.
Yes.
No.
Ye no.
Ugh.
No! You're right.
I wouldn't invite me either.
- Yes.
- I'm in, I'm in! I'm in, I'm in, I'm in, I'm in [exhales.]
Ew, Star Butterface.
You are invited when pigs fly.
[laughing.]
[oinking.]
Problem solved.
Anything for you, Star.
[groans.]
Flying pig don't need this.
[snorts.]
- Hm! - [muffled.]
I'm going to her party It's so weird that Brittney invited us to her birthday.
And all she wanted was a flying pig.
- [gasps.]
The party bus.
- Party bus? - But I get carsick.
- It's not a car, it's a bus.
- Rabid Rocket Blast! - Aaah! Huh? I send texts straight to your heart [music.]
You will fight with that's a start So you sit, I knew it was the end Sorry, honey, I have to de-friend Ooooh [yelling.]
[gasps.]
See, that was way more fun than taking the stairs.
Ooh, sweet, a little, tiny hat.
Cool.
I can make those.
Star Butterfly, what are you doing here? - Nothin' yet.
I just got here.
- One, two, three.
Marco, what are you doing? [long gasp.]
[thinking.]
Jackie Lynn Thomas.
Play it cool.
[bus lurches.]
[retches.]
Let me sing you some birthday tunes with my mouth sounds.
[spits, vocalizes.]
- Driver, pull over this bus at once! - Lady, I can't.
We're in bumper-to-bumper traffic.
You're gonna have to wait until the next exit.
[scoffs.]
This is why I told my dad I wanted a party jet.
Hm.
- I can't drive a jet.
- Okay, now, to my invited guests, who wants to watch me open my presents? [silence.]
I'm waiting.
- [all.]
Me, me, me! - Pick me, please! Something tells me we were not invited to this party.
That's possible.
Why don't we get off at the next bus stop? We can't do that.
These people are miserable.
They need us now.
Star, we don't have to [bus lurches.]
- Are you feeling okay? - I told you.
I get motion sickness.
Don't worry, I just need to sit here, stare out this window, and never turn my head.
You do that, homie.
I'ma get this party started! Ow! Who puts a swivel chair on a bus? Whoa! With wheels? Seriously? [crash.]
- Ugh, it's not designer.
- You're welcome.
Hey, everybody, I just want you all to know I can make little hats.
- And also dogs.
- [girl.]
Ow! Check this out.
[kids exclaiming.]
[thinking.]
Not cool.
[thinking.]
There she is, Diaz.
Jackie Lynn Thomas.
You're feeling better.
Now's your chance.
Hey, do these oysters smell bad to you? Yep, taste like they turned.
[chomps.]
You better not throw up on my bus, Barfo Diaz.
- Oh! This party is a disaster.
- Hey, Brittney! I know how to make your party more fun.
Rubber Sparkle Bounce House! [kids exclaiming happily.]
Walkin' on the moon.
Isn't this fun, Brittney? Better idea.
[all chanting.]
Hot tub, hot tub.
Foaming Twinkle Bubble Ripple! Yeah! Star Butterfly rules! - Bubbles win! - Yeah, party! [groaning.]
Oh, Marco.
It's hard work makin' everybody happy.
Can you make my tummy happy? [bus lurches.]
Finally.
End of the line for the princess and the puke boy.
- Now get off my bus! - Oh, thank you.
Fresh air! [inhales deeply.]
Smells just like monsters? - Get them! - Ugh, finally.
What is going on here? Three-eyed potato baby.
Take the wheel! growls.]
She says she wants a jet.
[muttering gibberish.]
Will you get on with it?! [all screaming.]
- What's your game? - I'm gonna bus-jack this bus.
Here they come.
- Was that them? - Uh, nope.
That's a particularly stupid plan, Ludo.
[slurps.]
It's a great plan.
Shut up! Oh, just just get her.
[all roaring.]
- [sighs.]
Star's the worst.
- I know, right? - I hope you destroy her.
- Thank you! That is so nice.
[music.]
[grunting.]
[screaming.]
[speaking foreign language.]
[crash.]
[grunts.]
[slurping and laughing.]
There's a rumbly in my tumbly.
[gasps.]
Oh, no.
Marco, quick, take the wheel.
[shudders.]
[crash.]
[hissing.]
[kids cheering.]
[monsters groaning.]
Why did only we get hurt? [retching loudly.]
Outta the way.
Hey, party animals.
Oh, this is horrible! My party is ruined! Oh, man, Brittney, hot tub, bounce house.
Laser puppies and an epic fight.
[all.]
Best party ever! It hurts all over.
Just so you know, I also do quinceañeras.
Ugh! Man, Star, that party was the jam.
- Please don't with your puke fingers.
- Oh, yeah.
Sorry.
You know, if I ever have a party, you're gonna be my party planner.
[retching.]
I think Earth is a pretty great place That's saying something 'Cause I've been through outer space I think it suits me, it's just my style I think I'm gonna stay a little while I think that strangers are just friends You haven't met I'm blasting monsters and I never break a sweat I'm really thinking I could call this place home