Sunnyside (2015) s01e05 Episode Script

1 Attention Potheads! Marijuana is now legal! You can all come out now.
Thank you.
You're all under arrest.
How did you know that would work? It's the oldest trick in the book.
Dammit.
They're learning.
What's wrong Georgette? You look like someone pissed on your last cigarette.
Is it "boy trouble?" Well how many times have I told you, get payment first! Are we gonna let some man bring us down? You know what we need is a good old fashioned shopping spree! But Denise, we're banned from every store in Sunnyside, and we got no money.
I know a place.
It's fashion forward the prices are just right.
Ah! This little number should put a smile back on your face.
And a skirt to go with! Don't forget to accessorize! There's a lot of selection here, but it's all the same size.
Kimmie! You're on that! On it! This is Alarm Protection System.
Please identify yourself.
Oh, uh Grace Chalmers.
Sorry, handsome.
I must have tripped the alarm.
I'm going need you to you to type in your four digit code.
One two three four Confirmed.
Thank you.
Call anytime.
I love a man who I assume is in uniform.
Shopping is thirsty work, girls.
I know just the place to get a cocktail! Look at Georgette cook! You should have your own cooking show! Grace Chalmers.
All these knick knacks.
It makes me appreciate my simple life! I think you're right.
G-Chalms, it's time for you to de-clutter.
So this is a sixty inch flat screen for twenty bucks? Stop griping dude.
You got the dough.
Yeah I okay.
This is all our stuff! Are you wearing my clothes? Oh my God.
You're right.
You need the cops.
Girls, let's go get them.
You'll be glad to know I simplified your life! Oh, sorry about that.
Workin' hard or hardly workin? Work place humour.
My name's Claire.
This is gonna be my office from now on.
So it's kinda my first day of work.
Garcon.
Can I have a double-double, extra on the double? I serve no-one but my Dark Lord! Get your coffee at the counter like everyone else.
Remember the new policy, Shaytan.
"Customer service and a big old smile, beats being grumpy by a country mile.
" Coming right up, ma'am.
Some people can work from home.
Not me.
I'm up every ten minutes eating fistfuls of cereal right outta the box.
Not 'cause I'm hungry, just procrastinating.
Okay Page one.
What are you working on? A magazine article.
Oh me too! What's the prize? Sorry? Chatelaine has a two night stay at a B and B in Collingwood.
Do you do romantic fiction? I'm a journalist.
Oh! I have a food journal.
Okay need a title.
Title title title Oh, here we go.
"Croissant My Heart and Hope to Die.
" "By Claire B.
It started in a coffee shop.
Everyone was working hard Or were they hardly working?" It's good to start with a joke.
How long Lord must I do my time? Sunnyside! Sunnyside! Pirate downloads is a dirty crime.
Sunnyside! Sunnyside! 1202 Sunnyside? We're here to deliver prisoner 91845.
This a mistake.
Oh it's no mistake, ma'am.
The Department of Prisons doesn't make mistakes.
Here's your dangerous offender.
I have a name.
Sorry Cliff.
Cliff here is in for three life sentences for murder.
But he sings beautifully.
He eat too much! She's got your number Cliff! Alright well if you don't like Cliff, how about Torchy Tim? He doesn't eat much.
Pretty easy to get along with if you don't mind the arson.
How about Him? Suave Bob? Sure.
Yeah, I'd love to get rid of him.
I'm in for stealing one too many hearts It's called black market organ trade.
You're gonna want this.
Madame it seems I'm at your mercy.
I'll have to do whatever you like.
Good.
Umm, you come in here.
Yes.
You go away.
Kay, cool.
After you Madame.
Wow.
Hey there, Mister.
Hey whatcha doin' there buddy? Dad, that man just took off with one of our chickens.
It's time you learned something: the heart wants what the heart wants.
And sometimes the heart wants a chicken.
It'll never last.
Hey Kayla, you're looking fly.
I was wondering if you wanted to maybe to go see a baseball game? No.
Wait, where are your seats? Are they somewhere I can get seen on the jumbotron? 'Cause I got a new top.
The best seats.
Right on the hump of dirt by the Sunnyside diamond.
Excuse what? The Sunnyside Eggs against the Junction Janitors.
No thanks.
I thought you meant a game at the Rogers Centre.
The Rogers Centre? As if! I can't go there.
Oh my ex-boyfriend got banned too.
Which mascot did you punch? I'm a Sunnysider.
Sunnysiders can't leave.
We're born here, we die here.
That's the rule.
Where did you hear something so stupid? My Mom.
She said I tried to cross the street out of Sunnyside That's just something that you tell little kids.
Like when you tell them that their dog went to live on a farm But Huckleberry did go to live on a See you next Tuesday, Mom! Come on, Kayla.
We're going to a baseball game.
Actually I think the game's next week.
Oh Emily.
I've never felt like this about anyone.
I want to express my love to you.
I hope you like this Nope.
Still can't play guitar.
Damn.
It'll never last.
So I'm going on a date with Luby tonight.
Wish me luck.
Oh, you'll be fine man.
As long as you've practised your kissing.
Practiced my kissing? No, I haven't! This is going to be a disaster.
Don't worry about it buddy.
I can help.
Look, you wanna hold her head like it's a jar of change, okay? A jar of change.
Nice.
Then look at her like you're lookin' for quarters.
Then imagine a chocolate's stuck to the front of the jar.
And you gotta get that off so it doesn't fall off and stain your date pants.
So it's like this.
Wow, I never thought of kissing like that.
Why? How do you kiss? Like I'm trying to put my head through a turtle neck.
You know, like, uh.
Okay, yeah, you're gonna wanna do the jar.
Really? Yeah Six soy latte's right? Uhh, cinnamon? Cinnamon's too good for these maggots! You lost your cinnamon when you crossed Johnny Law.
Soy latte, no cinnamon! Sunnyside! Sunnyside! No biscotti, no raisin bun.
Sunnyside! Sunnyside! So, how did it go with the specialist, today? Not good.
Oh no.
I don't know how long I'm going to have but I'm gonna get really sick.
If there's anything I can do, anything at all You can kill me.
What? I want to be in control of how my life ends.
And I can't do it myself.
Look I know it's a lot to ask, but I'm just not brave enough What's wrong with you? I'll pay for that coffee.
I don't want to die.
What!? I'm sorry, really? Not really.
I do want to die.
That's my survival instinct kicking in.
So you do want me to kill you? My heart says no.
But my failing liver says yes.
But, you just gotta do it and not give me any warning.
Okay? Yeah.
Yeah.
No no no no no.
By which you mean yes? Yes! Okay.
You really are a great friend! Forever and always.
That reminds me of us, Freddie.
Hey! There you are! Not too late to catch that ball game.
What? Are you crazy? You saw what happened last time! No one from Sunnyside is allowed to leave.
That's stupid.
I've lived in Sunnyside my whole life and look Come on! Meow! Meow! Meow! Meow! That's you.
I did it! I'm out! I'm finally freed from the steely grip of Sunnyside! Come to think of it, I was actually born downtown at Toronto General.
"Donatello stared into Aqua-Marina's eyes.
They were as large and blue like two public swimming pools that were oddly close to one another.
He fed her the last morsel of his croissant.
Her lips trembled as she nibbled it.
He noticed the pastry flake on her lip.
He wanted to kiss it off, but would he be the one to kiss it? That was another question.
" Oh, sorry guys, it's quittin' time.
Don't stop Claire! We need to know how it ends! I would surrender my dark powers to know if Donatello kisses the food from the face of Aqua-Marina! All work and no play means Claire's budgies go hungry.
You'll be back tomorrow won't you Claire? Oh, count on it.
You don't have to be crazy to work here, but it helps! You okay.
Oh yeah, just a bit winded.
You really are my best friend.
For you Jimmy, anything.
I'm starting to fall in love but I'm worried; Am I too controlling? If you love something set it free.
If it tries to leave aim for the legs.
Hey Emily, great news.
I landed that job.
It's just entry level, but the boss says there's room for Promotion So, what did you do today? Did you pick up my dry cleaning? Aww.
C'mon.
I need that for that new job! I shoulda listened to my friends, you know.
They said, "She's just a chicken, man.
" Maybe they were right.
Maybe you are just a chicken.
Oh don't look at me like that.
It's over! Come on Come on don't give me that look.
Aww Come here.
I know chickens can't fly.
But you make my heart soar.
Hi Kayla.
Hi I wanna say Darryl? I've been doing some thinking.
And I've decided I'm going to leave Sunnyside even if it kills me.
I'd rather die a free man than live in this neighbourhood forever.
Wait.
Don't go.
Okay now go.
Ready.
I'm doing it! I'm crossing the street.
I'm free.
I'm free! Woo! I'm free! I thought you said you were leaving? Oh crap.
Damn it! Goodnight, Habibi.
Angels will watch over you.
Angels will watch over you, Suave Bob.
Oh and Bob? Yes? Angels aren't the only ones watching.
Next time you run I won't aim for the foot.
Oh, you're tough.
I like my women tough.
In two weeks we end this relationship What? with our mortgage broker.
Next month is our last payment.
Oh yeah, right.
I mean you're an idiot.
Excuse me? if you don't pay it off quickly.
Yeah, it's a lot.
I hate you.
What? to be spend your hard earned money on interest.
There's something weird with the way you're talking.
It's acid reflux.
My doctor told me the best thing to do is to screw around.
What? with different medications, but I'm reluctant to do that.
Oh, well, feel better tomorrow.
Thank you.
I might kill you tonight.
Sorry I'm late Emily, I was celebrating.
Got that promotion! So now we can afford a maid everything's gonna be perfect Emily? Oh no! No no no! Buck buck buck buck buck.
Emily! Emily! Emily! I hate it when I'm right.
Goodnight sweet prince.
What the hell man? She was trying to kill you.
And? Why don't you mind your own business? - What? - Freeze, scumbag! Don't worry, I got her.
That was attempted murder.
You shot right at her.
She was trying to stab him! That's different.
She's his friend! Wow.
Let's go.
Oh, no no no no no, come on.
I'm in the chain-gang but that's alright.
Sunnyside.
Sunnyside.
We gonna shiv your ass tonight.
Sunnyside.
Sunnyside.
Stay still.
It'll make it a whole lot easier to kill you.
I promise.
It'll be quick.