Super Pumped (2022) s01e05 Episode Script

The Charm Offensive

1
Previously, on
"Super Pumped"
Young founders
are a hot commodity.
You must basically have
women on demand now too.
Yeah, we call that
Boober.
Olivia Lungociu
just published
our entire list of
data access permissions.
Everyone will know that
we access
users' messages, cameras,
contacts, GPS,
even after the app's
been closed.
Olivia Lungociu.
Open her up quick
and quiet.
She needs to be fucking
neutralized.
I'm going to stay
in the city tonight.
Can't you come home?
I've gotta get
an early start.
The money is worthless
if I never see you.
Quality time in the dark
isn't so great
when I can't pay
the electricity bill.
Thanks for all you do,
brother.
Is Google starting
a self-driving
ride-hailing service?
Anything is possible.
That's Levandowski.
I want to poach him.
I just sent Google
my resignation letter.
Why don't you meet
our newest board member.
I am thrilled by
Uber's potential
to make the world
a better place.
Apple just rejected
the update.
Your build breaks
dozens of App Store rules.
It's an abomination.
Change it.
Anyone looking at Uber's app
from Cupertino
won't be able to see
the privacy-violating code.
Do it.
Tim, you're not gonna believe
the shit Uber's trying to pull.
Opening theme music plays.
- Hey.
- Oh, Jesus.
Hi.
Did they ever play any
happy songs back in the day,
or are they all just like
funeral dirges?
Okay, they had a lot of people
dying on them back then.
- Young too.
- But they also played, like,
imperial shit, right,
like for kings?
Can you play me
something like that?
Guess someone
had a good day at work.
I did. I had a great
fucking day.
Good. Why don't you go shower
that Johnnie Walker
and patchouli off of you
- And then we can
- No time, babe.
Too busy changing the world.
One driver less car at a time.
That's amazing, Trav.
Hey, I have some good news too.
Really? So we're going
to celebrate you too.
But do you know where
the Wii remote is?
'Cause I can feel it right now.
I am en fuego.
It's in the cabinet
under the TV.
Oh, yeah.
Anyway, so, you
You know that school
that I've been working with?
They
Yeah. Eddy Cue!
I was legit just talking
about you, man.
What's going on?
We have a real problem.
You do, I mean. Uber does.
An existential crisis.
Define "existential."
Tim's sitting in
to decide if you exist.
Cupertino, tomorrow.
They can't know.
They obviously know
we're still running
the rejected code,
or else the call I got would've
been inviting me to their camp
at the Bohemian Club,
not to reenact
The Lives of Others
with Tim Cook
asking the questions.
Is this it, man?
Is Apple banning us?
Oh, they're just trying
to scare us, or scare me.
It could be seen like
we're deceiving
the most powerful tech company
in the world, TK
And we have no idea
how much Apple actually knows.
Their find could expose heaven,
hell, Grey ball.
Our whole surveillance
operation.
- We don't call it that.
- Okay,
none of those things
are actually illegal.
Apple's precious App Store rules
are not the fucking law.
Most users are dubious
of the data we mine
from their phones already.
Discovering blatant
privacy infringement
could drive users off the app
and the company.
We have to make this right
with Apple.
Thank you, Mr. Spock.
Now what do I do?
What's my angle? How do I
actually get out of this?
You don't.
Leave the bullshit
on the farm.
Go to Cupertino.
Confirm only
what they know.
Nothing more, nothing less.
And then say you're sorry.
I'm not sorry.
And I don't want to let Tim
wrestle me to the ground.
TK, you know when it comes
to throwing gas on a fire,
I'm both the gas and the fire,
right?
- Why I love you, bro.
- But this time,
I got some water
and a fire extinguisher
because big pic:
Saying sorry costs nothing.
You're on track to become
the most significant commander
of the most significant start up
of the 21st century.
Legit legend status.
If we don't get flushed.
This could be
that rare time
where the truth actually
sets you free.
The concern is, if you don't
give them what they want,
which is, as Emil said,
the truth,
they will make an example of you
and ban the app, ending Uber.
But know this:
If they don't like that truth,
they may ban us anyway.
So I tell the truth, I lose,
but I lie, I also lose?
One of those will be
the better option.
Choose that one,
or else Cupertino
will become your Waterloo.
Well, I hear you.
I regard you.
But this is nothing
like Waterloo, okay?
Napoleon was a great general.
I'm not knocking the little man.
But he was not making France
the kind of coin
that I am making for Apple,
which is why Apple will never
remove Uber from the app store.
I think we have to remove Uber
from the App Store.
In all my years at Apple,
I've never seen such a blatant
disregard for Apple policy.
Your juvenile, contemptuous
game of hide-and-seek
with our compliance engineers
is an insult.
If insults determined
our actions,
we'd be tossing apps
to the lions like the emperors.
This isn't personal to me,
but it is clear, Travis.
Your actions,
and those of your company,
have led us
to one conclusion:
Uber must go.
Anything you'd like to say?
Before you do, know this:
Lying, that I do
take personally.
Oh, look at that.
Our main motherfucker
would love to find a lie
that he could float.
Uber deserves to be removed
from the App Store.
Uber
No, I deceived you.
It was blatant and egregious.
But I was desperate.
Well, this tribunal
can close up fast.
No, I'm saying that there's
a reason I did what I did.
Before you end it all
for Uber
just hear me out.
I think you owe me that.
We owe you nothing.
That may well be true, Eduardo,
but Travis is here,
and so are we.
Let's let the man talk.
Thank you, Tim.
Oh, no.
He's right, Travis.
I mean, we should
shut you down
faster than the Secretariat did
the field at Churchill Downs.
They say that race was over
in the first furlong.
Yeah, well, I run motherfuckers
down in the final stretch, Eddy.
Hey, try and rise above
the day-to-day, uh, chestiness.
Hey, and just tell us why
on earth you thought it was okay
to blatantly violate
our agreement.
I'm here today
because of China.
Oh, God
From humble beginnings
in San Francisco
Uber took over the world
in record time.
Uh-huh, uh-huh, I like it.
That's the way,
Uh-huh, uh-huh, I like it.
But there was
still one land left
to be annexed
into Uber Nation.
The People's Republic of China.
A land of 1.4 billion people,
97% of whom own a smart phone.
If we could take China,
we would be the most
consequential tech start up
since Apple.
But we had competition.
There were already two big
Chinese ride share companies:
Didi Dache and Kuaidi Dache.
They were at war.
That was my opening
to conquer China.
And we were winning.
Take Chengdu.
Half the size of New York City,
but 479 times as many rides
in less than nine months.
But, and I've never
told anybody this,
not even my board.
Half of those rides were fake.
Each centipede
represents, at minimum,
50 fraudulent
incentive rides.
And there are hundreds more in
every city all over the country,
all day every day.
Doing, what, 116,000 rides
a day in Chengdu.
Average cost of a ride's
97 yuans,
15 bucks per ride
times 20 cities.
Jesus, we're losing 25 million
a week on this shit
to fraud in China
because of Apple.
You saying your fraud problem
was Apple's fault?
I'm saying we're providing
career opportunities to drivers,
a superior brand to riders.
And they pay us back
by coming up with elaborate
scams to rip us off.
And there's nothing we could do
to stop them.
Until recently,
every phone had the equivalent
of a digital signature.
Uber could use those signatures
to track the scammers.
But when you guys killed
outside access
to the signatures,
then Uber lost the ability
to identify
the fraudulent accounts.
When you blocked that access,
you blinded us
like fucking Equus.
And, yes, then we had
to cut open some new eye holes
That's a pretty Orwellian way
to say that you decided
to flout our privacy policy
like a bunch of
I have nothing but respect for
Apple's commitment to privacy.
I
understand Apple's commitment
to privacy.
But my commitment is to Uber.
I'm duty-bound as CEO
to protect my company.
Even against you.
One of my engineers
figured out a new way
to identify
the fraudulent users.
The new software turns user data
in, like, text messages,
contacts, photo albums,
et cetera,
into a unique fingerprint.
Once the phone's
been fingerprinted,
Uber can track it.
Oh, shit, yes!
- Fuck you guys! We got you!
- Nice!
Fuck you fuckers!
I was in for a bil in China,
going on two.
But I was about to do what only
Musk and you guys have done.
What Zuckerberg and Brin
and Bezos couldn't.
Get China.
China doesn't play
by the same rules.
We can't let them
make that choice.
And we have it.
We've got China
under control.
You got our letter
to the board.
Two cities have 400 times
as many rides
as New York in nine months.
It's unprecedented.
So is your burn rate.
Our burn is commensurate
with growth.
Everyone on the board
got that same letter. They're
all fine with it. Know how I
know? It's like guard dogs.
If they sense something's
wrong, they bark.
But we haven't heard a peep
from them.
Have you heard anything
from anybody, Bill?
We're here on behalf
of Benchmark.
On behalf of our limited
partners.
Uh-huh, and Emil, what is
Uber's valuation as of today?
Thirty bill-yone.
So you can tell your LPs
that's 300 times return.
When and if we go public.
And that "if" is if
this China insanity
doesn't wipe us out first.
I'm not in the business
of wiping out.
And that's what
the fat surfer said
in the "Eddie Would Go" T-shirt
right before
a 30-meter monster
sends him to the ocean floor
at Nazaré.
He brought a short board
Look, let's just
take a breath here.
Everybody has faith in you
that you know
what's on your balance sheet,
but revenue is not profit,
despite contortionist
accounting.
We'll have all the profit
we need
once we win China.
You have rolled across Europe
like Rommel himself.
With the same elegant fury.
But China ain't France.
China's playing mah-jongg
while you're playing pétanque.
Different cultures
need different strategies.
We just need you to see
the whole game board here.
I am the one on the game board,
and I'm crushing it.
China loves Uber.
Whatever happened
to grow or die?
In China, it's grow, then die.
- Dude
- China loves us today
because we give more value than
what we charge,
because we're depositing
incentives out the wazoo.
It's a free fucking
cash bonanza.
What's there not to love?
But Uber is always gonna be
an interloper from the west.
And once we get a foothold
and profitability,
start withdrawing yuan
out of their economy,
the CCP is gonna cut us off
at the knees.
And they're going to take
the business
that Travis Kalanick built,
and they're going to give us
back in return nothing.
Not even a fortune cookie.
Don't fucking do that.
You know, Arianna says,
"You never get to witness
your own eulogy,
but you write it
every day."
I think she's wrong,
'cause I'm witnessing
my own eulogy.
And you're the one writing it.
Some people write words
for a living.
Do you think
Others write checks.
that I can win in China?
Yes or no?
Because Arianna does.
She believes in me.
She believes in Uber.
And that is worth more
than all the money in Benchmark.
We're staying in China.
Rise back up
to consciousness.
That was fabulous,
darling.
Your vibration
is much higher.
Can you feel it?
Yeah, I totally can.
Bill Gurley has invited me
to breakfast Monday.
- Can you come?
- You know what?
He asked me to mentor
one of his CEOs on Monday.
That's convenient.
There are no accidents.
And there are no secrets
between us.
Thank you.
At least some people
were still on my side.
Shit.
But even her support
couldn't stop the hits
from coming.
What?
We've got tragic news.
One of our Uber drivers
killed a child in Ohio.
Oh, Jesus.
This is going to suck for me.
Suck for for Uber,
is what I mean.
I know it sucks
for the family too.
Obviously it sucks for them.
Twitter's blowing up about it
right now.
Olivia Lungociu's
leading the charge.
Her.
"@TravisK: A dead child,
assaulted women.
When you are going to admit
you just don't give a fuck?"
Come on.
It's not like her kid died.
- No. No, no, no.
- TK.
Don't ever let anyone
other than me
hear you say
something like that.
You know what?
Elon could say it.
They'd put it on a billboard.
They would celebrate.
I need some Musk on me.
Isn't that your job?
Why don't I get the press
he gets?
Because they don't know you.
If they knew the Travis I do,
they'd say nothing
but wonderful things.
Arianna's right.
You hide behind comms
when you should be out front
communicating.
Elon is rocket man because
he gives the press face time.
Makes them feel special.
Yeah, they celebrate him,
as you said.
Travis, you can and should
do this.
Let's host a press event
in New York.
At the Waverly,
and I'll co-host.
Great.
Steaks, wine, conversation.
Get the media on team TK.
Yeah. I like it.
I don't know.
Kissing up to the press,
it just doesn't feel legit.
An event might help with
the calls I've been getting
from journos digging
into our burn in China.
And the last thing we need
before a new raise
is the press casting doubt
on your judgment as CEO.
I don't need the press.
You know how I know?
The graphs tell me so,
'cause they are nothing
but up and to the right.
Shitty tweet
up and to the right.
Bad headline
up and to the right.
All I do is grow.
I'm the fucking
Revenue Rocket Man.
Why?
Why can't people
report on that
instead of always being like,
"Why women hate working
at Uber"?
Give me a fucking break.
Moving on
No, let's not move on.
I'd like to know why women
hate working at Uber.
That seems super germane to your
pattern of behavior, Travis.
Why is your attrition rate
for women so high?
From my experience,
women are the canary
in the coal mine.
When they leave a company
en masse,
that's often a sign of deeper,
overlooked cultural
and ethical issues.
We are always looking
for qualified workers
with the right attitude.
If you're good,
you're hired.
And if you get it,
then you stick
regardless of gender.
You believe that?
It's not about belief, Tim.
I can see our data.
Data can be biased.
So can people.
Anyway, I think I've more
than answered your question.
Oh, no, this inquiry
is just getting started.
You'll answer for every aspect
of your company
before I decide if you stay
alive and in the store.
Okay, well,
if you're judge and jury,
then may I continue
my testimony?
Sure. Start with an answer
to Tim's question.
Why are your attrition rates
for women so high?
It is imperative you do
a temple stay at Bongeunsa
when you're in Seoul
with Gabi.
It will balance your chi.
- That sounds amazing.
- Hmm.
Hold the elevator.
- Can I say one more thing?
- Yes.
What should I do about
this constant questioning
of our accounting
practices?
Don't break any rules
or laws.
And if Gurley keeps
coming at you about it,
just tell him to kiss
your EBITDA.
- Thank you!
- Of course.
I'll tell you why the attrition
rate for women at Uber
is so high.
Isaiah Berlin wrote:
I wish to be the subject,
not the object of my life.
Couldn't have said it better.
So, let me introduce myself.
My name is Susan Fowler.
You'll remember me as
the site reliability engineer
who was sexually harassed on
her first day of work at Uber.
Anne-Marie in HR suggested
I find a new team.
Her way of telling me to quit.
But I've come
too far to quit.
So, after months of floating
in Uber limbo,
I found a new team.
And it's a great one.
And I wish people
Liked me more.
All I did
Was try my best
That's my new manager, Kevin.
I chose his team
because it's 25% women,
which, paltry as it is,
is the highest ratio
in the company.
If we can split our monolith
in under three months,
every person on the team
will get this dope jacket.
Check it out, dude.
A monolith is a block
of thousands of lines
of Uber's operating code.
The goal is to separate
and reorganize
the block of code
into individual lines
called "micro services."
They make the code easier
to access and repair
should it malfunction.
TLDR, I'm a techie Marie Kondo.
And coffee brings me joy.
So does my job.
"Job" doesn't even seem like
enough of a supercharged word
for how I view what I do.
It's more of a mission.
I obsess about it so much,
I started writing about it
on my blog:
I even wrote a book about
my experiences as an SRE.
It's a bestseller on Amazon.
HR's reaming me,
said my team's too homogenous.
Ideological diversity
doesn't count.
How do you keep them
on your team?
Trade secrets.
And if I keep it
above 23.4% female,
it's Tesla time.
All the ladies love Kev.
Really, seriously,
fuck you.
Fowler, perfect score
on your performance review.
Making me look good.
Appreciate it. I owe you.
I could use your approval
on my application
for manager of SRE II.
Once you finish the monolith,
no doubt.
Thanks, Kev.
Kevin's great,
but he hasn't inured me
to the realities
of working here.
I could call it out.
I could make up
20 small-dick jokes
and hurl them
at the likely offenders.
Better to just
make it disappear.
But this, the old familiar
ass ogling,
that I cannot erase.
So I get to report that to HR.
Again.
Not that they'll respond.
Here's a descriptor that's going
to land like a giant turd:
"Toxic."
I'm the first to admit "toxic"
has lost all meaning
in the general sense.
That's why we have to tell
our stories.
The specifics matter,
because each specific
is another human
pushed that much closer
to the edge.
Take Alison, a kick ass engineer
from Cal Tech.
She's leaving
because her team leader
constantly double-checks
her work.
He says she's too hot
to be a good engineer.
I got this feeling.
On the summer day
When you were gone
I crashed my car
Into the bridge
I watched
I let it I burn
I threw your shit
Into a bag
Fran didn't even come back
to the office
the day after her team
held an all-hands
at an all-nude strip club,
and they dubbed her No Fun Fran.
Grace is such
a brilliant programmer.
She's had her work stolen
by our SVP five times.
Each time she reported it,
he thanked her for taking one
for the team,
then promoted mediocre men
over her.
Understandably,
she lost her shit.
Now she's "crazy."
Literally half of you
are looking at me
like I am the most
strict-slash-least fun teacher
you had in middle school.
I just ruined your fucking
tree house club at recess
when I found
your dirty magazines.
I make you remember
how you had to push down
your damned hard-ons
or whatever in your corduroys
and go back to class.
But the other half of you,
well, sure,
some of you are
the get-along-to-go-along types
and would like me
to shut up.
But the rest know the truth
that no matter how hard
you tried to fit in,
you just don't belong.
And that's because
they don't want you to.
I love it, I love it.
I don't care.
I love it.
I don't care.
Finished.
I love it, I don't care.
Only six women left.
Damn.
Great job, guys.
Crushed the monolith.
Here's the thing, ladies.
We bought the guys' jackets
in bulk.
We couldn't justify purchasing
six jackets at full cost
for the women.
Wouldn't be fair.
But it's fair to not have
leather jackets for us?
I'll take that one,
even if it's too big, and
That's Craig's.
Here, man.
Kevin, this is wrong.
We're just asking
Before you go there,
let me just say:
If you want equality,
you'd realize you're getting it
by not getting jackets.
What if it were
the other way around?
Kevin is pretending
to not understand
there would never
be an instance in tech
where women would outnumber
the men.
I'm applying for my promotion
and getting the fuck
off his team.
This is about my push back over
the leather jackets?
You're not the only one
with aspirations here, Fowler.
If you don't tamp down
your behavior
What's your game plan here,
Kevin?
She thinks
I'm sabotaging her,
but obviously, I'm not.
She's got to learn
to control herself.
I mean, you see it, right?
Of course you do,
don't you?
And Kevin, he isn't
the worst rat in the lab.
But he wants his rewards.
Instead of sugar,
it's advancement,
and the feeling of being
powerful in a culture
that not only encourages
but celebrates subterfuge.
Kevin had no choice but to
deliberately undermine my score.
To be clear, I'm not
apologizing for Kevin.
Kevin fucking sucks.
And I know
what you're thinking.
What happened to sticking it out
and changing things?
I tried. I really did.
I followed protocol.
I told Anne-Marie in HR
everything about Alison,
Fran, and Grace,
the leather jackets,
my lowered score.
And you know
what she said to me?
She said that by reporting
every incident of harassment,
I was creating a toxic
work environment.
Thanks for this.
Sorry, I didn't anticipate
being here so long.
You were at managing
your board members.
Yeah. Bill Gurley
was up my ass.
Then he went behind my back.
- Bill!
- Arianna.
Ah, so wonderful to see you.
Tell me, how is Amy?
I want to know
everything.
Are Rex, Gus, and Ava
still enjoying water polo?
They're well. They're well.
You do your research.
I have to.
Please sit down.
Thank you.
I know firsthand how insulting
it is to be mistaken
for a rich wife who got lucky,
instead of an operator,
you know?
Soft-boiled and fruit bowl.
You do your research too.
Just a coffee. Black.
Of course.
What say we talk about our brash
and gifted entrepreneur?
I would say
that Travis is, uh,
more tenacious and singular
in his vision
than a young
T. Boone Pickens.
He is bold
and uncompromising.
- Uncompromising.
- Hmm.
Now, I'm glad
you brought that up.
I'm not so sure
that uncompromising
is a good thing.
Grit is great.
I love grit.
But, uh, uncompromising is, uh,
akin to stubbornness.
And stubbornness is, uh,
as we both well know,
a liability.
Every asset has a shadow.
It's a matter
of the wolf you feed.
And our wolf is getting
pummeled right now.
He's getting beat up
by the press,
and he's walking into a trap
in China he can't even see.
Arianna
Travis needs guidance.
No one can walk
that path alone.
No, but the problem is,
Travis won't take guidance
from his peers.
However, you seem to be
the one exception to that.
It is true that Travis and I
share a connection
that one rarely finds
in this world men have built.
So that means you'll help me
get through to him?
I live my life
in the service of others.
You do.
That is your north star.
But, and it gives me no pleasure
in saying this
Travis is lost.
What do we know
about the Prodigal Son?
He must sow his oats,
but he always returns.
God.
I got to tell you, Arianna.
Your, uh
Your style of conversation,
it's a bit too Confucian
for my tastes.
Fine, Bill.
I'll shoot straight with you,
partner.
Is that what you'd like?
You should take
a step back.
Let Travis be Travis.
Like a father who's taught
his son how to drive.
If, I mean, once he's won
his license
and sits behind the wheel
of the lovely car
you've prepared for him,
all a father can do
is choose to worry.
Or not.
A father cannot actually
step on the brakes.
What does any of this
have to do
with the bullshit
you pulled, Travis?
Excuse me.
Did he know Steve?
Because if you knew Steve,
you'd know this has everything
to do with what I did.
When no one wants
to believe in you,
you make them believe
by becoming undeniable.
Now, if winning China
wasn't enough,
I needed something more.
This track makes so much sense.
I mean, if you know Travis.
When you come to the house,
Gabi, you'll have to see it.
He wore through our carpet down
to the floorboards
during that whole Mike Ovitz
lawsuit Scour debacle.
- Oh, really?
- It was not a debacle.
I was screwed over.
That hole is a testament
to my tenacity.
If it weren't for that hole,
there wouldn't be Uber.
As I said,
this all makes sense.
Even the size
and the scale of the place,
no surprise to me.
Okay, what else do I need
to know about your son?
The deep, secret stuff.
Well, you know,
he's strong and loyal.
Thank you.
You ought to know that
by now anyway.
Oh and how he hates losing
so much, he'd rather die.
Yeah.
But winning making him happy?
That doesn't seem right.
Ah, it gives him
a few moments of peace
before he starts
his next battle.
I don't know.
She's talking about herself.
That's what you're doing.
I'm chill, you know that.
- Come here.
- Right.
Mm. Wow.
Very impressive.
Thank you.
Want to show her
what we got her in Korea?
Oh, yeah.
Got you something.
Oh, thank you.
It's beautiful.
Very unique.
- Can I put it on you?
- Sure. Sure.
So, did you love your trip
to South Korea, Gabi?
Eh, I'd never been before,
so, uh, yeah.
It was important
to have seen it.
We got wined and dined.
Opened up the market.
You know,
it was good to get away
from the sniping
from the press, hmm?
Yeah, Trav,
that stuff about Uber
putting women and children
in danger
you're on that, right?
You're not really
letting that happen?
No
Mom, that's just, like,
middle school stuff.
You know, someone farted,
and they're blaming me for it.
Except you're not
in middle school anymore.
You're a grown man, and you
need to take responsibility
and face your problems head-on.
And, you know,
sometimes it was you
who farted, wasn't it?
Jesus, Mom.
Honey, I know your heart.
I know you're a good man.
Let the world see
who Travis Kalanick is.
Please.
Yeah, that's
just what Arianna said.
You need me?
I'll be right back.
I love it.
It's so pretty.
The Daches have come to a truce
and are merging.
They're calling it
Didi Chuxing.
The CCP's picked their pony,
TK, and it ain't Uber.
Gurley's going to be crowing
about this.
We're nearing two bil
in incentives.
Now we're up against
a behemoth.
They can bleed us dry.
What's the call?
Stay
and we blow all their minds
with what Uber can do.
Our next round of investors
should be Chinese.
It's the People's
Republic of China, right?
Well, let's show the CCP
that the people love Uber.
- Put out feelers.
- On it.
Hold on.
One other thing.
Tell Hazel baker
I'll meet the press.
Let's show these motherfuckers
who the fuck Travis Kalanick
really is, right?
Hell, yeah.
But who was I?
You know, the press,
they will write your story
if you let them.
Look at what the press
did to you, Tim,
in your personal life.
You wanted privacy,
- and they wanted to force you
- Stop right there.
So who am I?
Am I the guy
that's going to sit back
and let someone else
write my eulogy?
No.
No, I am not.
And besides,
eulogies aren't enough for me.
I want to leave behind
monuments.
Wow. I am one
classy motherfucker.
- Looks good, Hazel baker.
- Yeah.
I did my part.
You two ready to step up?
Pictures and bios
of who will be in attendance.
Memorize it.
You want me to memorize random
facts about people I don't know?
Everyone's favorite subject
is themselves.
Charming takes work.
Relax. I got it.
I got it.
You want to test me?
No. I know that's
a trick in your bag.
I hope you got more,
'cause tonight,
you two are
Siegfried and Roy.
The press is your precious
white tiger.
You feed it, you pet it,
and in return,
it may show you
some affection.
But you never forget that with
one misstep, you're brain sushi.
No, I'm not joking.
Guys, they'll rip your face off
if you fuck up.
- Go ahead, Rachel.
- Travis,
for your opening remarks,
you win the night by not saying
anything so interesting
that you make the press want
to dig up dirt on Uber,
but not being so uninteresting
that they write nothing
about us.
Why is Olivia Lungociu in here?
Wait, what? No, no, no.
Who invited her?
I thought it would be
a good idea
for you guys
to make friends.
Fuck no. She is out.
Everything we're doing tonight,
the stemware
and the fancy restaurant
and the waste
of my goddamn time.
The point of tonight is to get
her colleagues on our side.
They write nice things
about us. She's the asshole.
Okay, fine.
Rachel, make the call.
Jesus, have to do
everything ourselves?
- That was a great catch.
- Oh, all right.
They'll be here in a minute,
so listen up.
Tonight is off the record,
but there are still topics
to avoid.
The boy who was killed,
X to the X or Miami,
attacked and murdered drivers,
friction with the board.
Can we ask them
why they're such dicks to us?
Adding that to the no-fly list.
Do not talk about
how unfairly
you feel you've been treated
by the press,
or women being assaulted.
- Do not talk
- We get it.
It's just a Sports Center
Top Ten.
I'm not done.
Don't talk about
expansion in China
or driver treatment,
including complaints,
wages or health care.
These are very
emotional subjects.
We understand?
Now, I would like to talk
about your driver experience,
'cause your company's
revenue stream
relies on the will
of your drivers
to the point that you call them
partners.
Well, that's a figure of spee
If they don't drive,
your business stops, Travis.
Yet, you do not prioritize
driver satisfaction
and retention.
Is that a nice way of saying
I treat my drivers like shit?
Maybe I should ask you
about Foxconn.
Excuse me?
Just saying.
Um, we're not your peers
or your employees, Travis.
You know, I'm sitting here
wondering why you won't grant us
the same respect
that we are according you
at this very moment.
I'm sorry.
Okay, driver experience.
So there are some complainers.
But if you look at the data,
my drivers have never
driven more hours,
made more money,
or been happier.
My drivers love me.
And they love Uber.
Let's move on.
I can tell you about
the Uber driving experience.
Come.
Last you saw me,
I was in the car
with Travis Kalanick.
And as you could hear,
it didn't end well.
You need to publish
this video.
The world needs
to see it.
He's a rich man.
He could ruin me.
Your cousin Malik is a lawyer.
He will help you protect us.
You can't let him
get away with this.
We all have bad days.
Why should he be penalized
for that, Z?
He is not your friend, Fawzi.
I want to formally
introduce myself.
I'm Fawzi Kamel.
And yes, sure,
I should probably
do as my wife insists.
She's usually right,
maddening as that fact can be.
And if you tell her I said it,
I'll drop you
far from the curb
so you get your pant leg
soaked in a puddle.
But, really, even if I want
to post the video,
what will it really do?
Cost me my job?
I came to this country
15 years ago
with a degree
in civil engineering.
But in the U.S.,
the degree was no good.
So my uncle got me a job
at Lenny's Limos.
I worked at night,
attended school by day.
But it was unsustainable.
Unlike my cousin, the lawyer,
I had a family.
Driving became my life.
It was okay, and then Uber came
along and made driving better.
For a time,
it gave me the opportunity
to work for myself,
choose my own hours,
take home more pay.
Thank you, sir.
I used to take three times more
on this exact trip.
But that's the ups and downs
of the business, right?
I have hope, in shall ah,
things will get better.
Me and my friends were
Mr. Kalanick's first drivers.
We helped him build
this company.
He said we were
his business partners,
so I doubled down and made an
investment in our partnership.
I purchased a new luxury vehicle
with the help of Uber financing
to meet Uber Black standards,
but the stretched incentives
and the reduced rates,
the payments
are now impossible.
Mr. Kalanick refuses to help.
Is this how you treat
a partner?
Well, Mr. Kalanick could sue
if you release the video,
but he probably won't.
It'll only make him look worse.
Can I still work for Uber
if I post the video?
You can, but you may not
have a job much longer.
Why is that?
There's no driver.
Holy shit!
There's no fucking driver.
Came in all the way
from Primm.
A hundred fifty miles.
But your permit
was denied.
Safety third.
Dude, you have balls
of titanium.
We've waited long enough, TK.
There's no way the Google guys
will think we planned this.
I got other offers
and turned them down.
Your offer is going
to be the best.
So I take it.
We doing this?
We sure as fuck are, man.
He's getting rid of drivers.
What are you going to do?
Whatever Mr. Kalanick says,
I am not a victim.
I don't blame anyone,
not even him,
for my circumstances.
In fact, I agree with him.
When a man makes a choice,
he must live
with his consequences.
Fuck him.
So no eulogies?
Yeah, well, I learned
something about that.
No matter how hard you try,
you cannot stop people
from writing
whatever they want about you.
Hey, Emil Michael,
Chief Business Officer.
- Michael Wolff.
- Yeah, yeah. I read about you.
Media critic.
I'll toast to that.
Welcome. Welcome, everyone.
Just a gentle reminder that this
is the Vegas of dinner parties.
We are off the record.
But first, please give
a warm New York welcome
to Uber's CEO,
Travis Kalanick.
Whoop-whoop! TK!
Thank you. Thank you, Jill.
And thank you
to Arianna Huffington,
whose invaluable input
has made me
not just a better CEO,
but legit a better man.
Elbows out.
Ego personified.
Asshole.
These are just
a few of the ways
I've heard myself
portrayed in the media.
And you know what?
Fair e-fucking-nough.
I have been so busy
on my grind,
I haven't taken the time
to show you
that I'm not a rapacious
industrialist.
I'm just a man stewarding
a world-altering vision
that's exceeding
all expectations.
I mean, not mine,
but, uh
Yeah, so that
That's what tonight is about:
Getting to know each other,
exchanging ideas,
and hopefully making the world
a better place.
First, let me introduce myself.
My name is Travis.
I am the founder and CEO
of Uber.
And contrary to what
you might have read,
I am not a monster.
Cheers.
Travis.
All right,
so who's got questions?
Hit me.
Real talk.
You must hate us press guys,
huh, Travis?
Oh, no, no.
No, that's quite
Quite the opposite.
You know, it's so easy
to get pulled into this.
"You stab my back,
I stab yours."
But really, we should be
working together.
We're all on the same team,
we're all trying to do
the same thing.
Help the world
make lives better.
I mean, that's what I want.
Is that what you want?
Sure. That's what I want.
Good.
Hey, glad you could make it.
I want you to meet Emil.
He's the Chief Business Officer
at Uber.
Ben's from BuzzFeed.
Good to meet you.
I didn't know BuzzFeed
was gracing us
with their presence tonight.
Michael invited me.
Can't let free steak
go to waste.
Yeah.
My comms girl
said tonight was for,
you know,
serious journalists.
Not the first word I think of
when I hear "BuzzFeed."
- No offense.
- None taken.
Just glad you didn't mention
lolcats.
To new friends, hmm?
Welcome, Ben from BuzzFeed.
A real journalist in
listicle clothing.
Tell me the truth, Emil.
What's up with this dinner?
Why the about-face
on your press policy?
Oh. Got tired of being
misrepresented.
You feel like you've been
treated unfairly by us?
You two are cool.
Yeah, but some of your
colleagues have zero chill.
We wouldn't even be here
tonight
if it wasn't
for Olivia Lungociu.
- You know her?
- Yeah, I know her.
She's tough.
She's not a fan of Uber.
She's trying to kill us, man.
She says women
shouldn't take Ubers,
that they're safer taking cabs.
What if some poor woman
reads her article,
takes a cab instead,
and gets assaulted?
That's not on us.
That's on her.
Wouldn't that be
on the cab driver?
You know what I mean, Ben.
What if we gave her a taste
of her own medicine?
I don't know,
spend a million dollars on, uh,
hiring a few journalists
and oppo people to
To dig into her.
You can't be serious.
Cancer-serious.
I mean, we should do it.
We can.
Maybe we are.
I don't know.
They could dig into her,
you know, personal life,
or her family's.
Help us fight back
against her negativity.
To me, the perfect dinner party
is a séance of the living
to raise the spirits of people
who are already alive.
Speaking of sweetness.
Look at this pet it bijou
Travis feted me with.
- It's divine, right?
- Oh!
Most CEOs don't have
such a sweet relationship
with their board members.
Is Arianna
your favorite?
Well, on the record,
I love all
my board members equally.
Off the record
if I could have a board
full of Ariannas
I would kill
the rest of them myself.
That's the thing
about Lungociu.
She plays the saint,
but she's anything but,
you know.
If people knew
what I do about her
how would that change the way
her reporting is received?
What's that?
She's a slut
who cheats on her husband.
Whoa, flinging
that S-word around
like Indiana Jones
does his whip.
I wouldn't say it
if it wasn't facts.
So you have dug into her.
What if you were found out?
Wouldn't Uber be the story,
not Olivia?
Wouldn't be a problem.
Nobody would know it was us.
You just told me.
You got me there.
If you'll excuse me.
I have to hit the head.
You know what happens next.
Let's figure out
a next possible acquisition
so we can finally
get over this fucking
How could you, Emil?
How could I what?
The dinner was off the record.
That's not what
you should say first.
What you should say first is:
It isn't true.
Oh, that makes it doubly stupid
that you said it out loud, Emil.
- Jesus Christ.
- How it works is,
we do the things,
you fix the things.
Especially when the event in
question is one that you set up,
you guaranteed.
If we were in the Mafia
right now,
it wouldn't be Emil
on the hot seat.
It would be whoever walked us in
to the room full of button men.
Thank you.
Yeah, so that was
a calamitous event,
mostly 'cause we were lied to
by unscrupulous journalists.
But, you know what,
my resolution this year was,
I wasn't gonna
get brought down by
You know what makes me happy?
Doing things that other people
think were impossible.
And that is what I'm doing.
With China and with driver less,
I'm doing the impossible.
But then people like Ben Smith,
they just hate seeing
winners win.
So they tear us down,
makes them feel better
about their sad little lives.
I mean, Olivia Lungociu,
does she really
have to write a story
about Uber's data access
permissions?
Who cares?
Like, it's a non-story, right?
But she did it
'cause she wants attention.
And she got your attention,
didn't she?
And then Ben Smith
got everyone else's.
And that's why I'm sitting here
in front of you today.
Your utter disdain for privacy,
that's why you're here today.
Your rapacious need to win
is why you're here today.
Not because a journalist
did her job.
Travis, this is all you.
You must see that.
Please tell me you see that.
Okay, d-defying you.
I see how that was reckless,
rapacious, like you say,
but that's what it means
to be a disrupter.
You want to punish me
for embodying
the spirit
that built the valley,
that built this building that
we're sitting in right now?
I don't know, maybe I should,
but I have to be
who the fuck I am.
'Cause the end of the day,
that's all I got.
Well, I've got some news
for you, Mr. Kalanick.
You and Uber are no longer
the disruptors.
Now you're the establishment,
you know, so act like it.
And you can start
by never defying
our privacy policy again.
Hold on, you're
you're not killing Uber?
I'm here to stop you
from killing it,
which you seem
almost determined to do.
Thank you.
Break the rules again,
we won't bother to call.
So this could have just been
like a 20-minute dressing down?
We needed to know the extent
of Uber's subterfuge
before we made our decision.
Oh, so you were fishing.
Have you ever used
your tracking program for means
other than client safety
or abating fraud?
Of course not.
Like I said,
I'm not a monster.
Uh, one more thing.
You should know
you're finished in China.
Apple will be investing
a billion dollars
into Didi Chuxing
in the coming months,
and we'll do the same in every
territory that you are in
if you ever
step out of line again.
By the way,
Eddy knew Steve.
I knew him as well
as anyone could,
and I can tell you this.
Steve would have
understood you, Travis.
Wouldn't have liked you
very much, though.
Well,
a person can work up.
A mean, mean thirst.
After a hard day
Of nothing much at all.
Summer's passed.
It's too late
To cut the grass.
There ain't much
To rake anyway.
In the fall.
And sometimes
I just ain't in the mood.
To take my place in back.
With the loudmouths.
You're like a picture
On the fridge.
That's never stocked
With food.
I used to live at home.
Now I stay at the house.
And everybody wants
To be special here.
This is Levandowski's
work laptop, yes?
Barely.
He's only used it once.
I don't see anything.
Hold on, he
Levandowski installed
a new operating system.
Let me Oh, here we go.
He downloaded 9.7 gigs
off his project servers,
and then erased the computer.
What?
He googled how to scrub
a laptop.
And we're fucking Google.
You just beat Tim Cook.
The CCP and everyone else,
they're not going to let Uber
survive in China.
We're done.
I'll take a great big whiskey
To you anyway.
And everybody wants
To be someone's
Arianna told me
about your little breakfast.
That woman talks like she
writes Internet horoscopes.
Completely manages to obscure
whatever her real agenda
and design she has on Travis
and the company.
But that's not why you're here.
This a bourbon talk?
- Fuck.
- What?
It could be
for a celebration too.
That what this is?
No.
Google rang me up.
It's not good.
If this is about the fucking
article, we're dealing with it
That fire is s'mores
at a goddamned cookout
- compared to this blazer.
- Why? What happened?
Your friends over at Google.
What about them?
You've turned them
into enemies.
They're suing
over Levandowski.
And not just Uber.
They're suing you personally.
It might be time to turtle up,
Travis.
I don't cower.
Well, then,
it might be time to run.
I recognized the name.
Could not stop staring
At the face
I'd never see again
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