Tangled: The Series (2017) s01e05 Episode Script

1 (theme song playing) I got the wind in my hair and a fire within 'Cause there's something beginning I got a mystery to solve and excitement to spare That beautiful breeze blowing through I'm ready to follow it who knows where I'll get there, I swear With the wind in my hair Cassandra: Fitzherbert! (gasps) (sighs) Not again.
Eugene: I don't know what you're so upset about! Oh, wait, "know" was the wrong choice of words.
I meant, I don't care what you're so upset about.
(sighs deeply) Hey, guys! Everything okay? I couldn't help but overhear Not only did you take my halberd without asking, you got your disgusting hair all over it! How dare you! First of all, I did not touch your halberd.
Second of all, what is a halberd? Oh! Oh, a halberd.
Okay, fine, you got me, but check out this shave.
Smooth as a baby's bottom.
- Try a monkey's.
- Rapunzel: Okay.
Okay, everyone, let's take a deep, calming, cleansing breath.
(inhales, exhales) To be fair, I asked several times if I could use that thing.
And I said, "No" every time.
Which shouldn't matter, because we both know I don't listen to you.
Guys, come on.
This is ridiculous.
Eugene, a halberd should only be handled by a skilled warrior.
Hello! Skilled warrior! You forgot Flynn Rider has handled plenty of weapons.
- (shatters) - Oh.
Ha! Way to go, Eugene.
That that's a faulty halberd right there.
Let's not panic! I mean, it is was my dad's favorite, irreplaceable, one of a kind, most favorite vase, but Hey, I have an idea, Eugene.
Why not just steal him another one? Oh! Oh, wait, wait.
You can't! This is a one of a kind vase.
(chuckles) Of course you would pronounce it "vahz," Cassandra.
Yeah, yeah, "vayce," "vahz.
" Either way, it'll be the first thing the king sees when he sits down for dinner tonight, or doesn't see.
You just love making me look like an idiot in front of the king, don't ya? Nope, you do a perfect job of that all on your own.
Thank you.
Wait a minute! Rapunzel: I can't take it anymore, Pascal.
I mean, why can't Cass and Eugene just get along? They're both caring, supportive, very considerate people who somehow got us to clean up their mess.
(squeaks) I bet they would be great friends if they just stopped fighting long enough to spend some quality time together.
- (grumbles) - (Rapunzel gasps) Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute! That's it! That's it! I will make them spend time together.
- Come on.
- (Pascal squeaks) (sighs) (metal scraping) What's this? (chirps) Eugene: I'm telling you, Stan! The handlebar mustache is so passé.
Today, it's all about the goatee.
- You know what I mean? - (Pascal chirps) You see Just a second, frog, I'm making a point.
Oh! Hey, easy! What? What? What is it? A note from Cassandra? If this is another eviction letter, I am going to lose it! She does not have the authority for that! I checked! Hmm, well, this ought to be interesting.
(rats squeaking) Okay, it's a grim place to offer an apology, but then again, this is Cassandra we're talking about.
- Cassandra: I'm sorry.
- (yelps) Did you just say I was going to offer you an apology? Yeah! You said in your note you wanted to say sorry.
I didn't write you a note.
You wrote me a note.
- (door closes, locks) - Huh? Hey! What are you doing? Time for the game to begin.
Game? What are you talking about? Don't you see? I wrote the letters.
They were merely a ruse to lure you both down here.
What? You can't just lock us in here.
(chuckles) Oh, I can, and I have, and I'm afraid your only way to escape is to work together, to solve a puzzle of my own design.
What puzzle? Within these walls, you will find a series of strategically placed, increasingly difficult clues, each one more unfathomably perplexing than the last.
Put them together, and you're free to go.
Fail? And this prison cell will become your new home.
(cackles evilly) Oh, and I made you guys cookies.
What are we, twelve? Cassandra: Listen, this is all your fault.
Eugene: Oh, please! You know darn well that my only fault is that I have no faults! Recognize that voice? Sounds like our old friend.
(humming) (sighs) Say what you will, Pascal, but sticking those two together to work out their differences has its advantages.
I mean, do you hear that? That is the sound of peace and quiet.
Ha! I can finally hear myself think.
I think I want to paint something.
Ah! I like the way you think.
(squeaks) Relax.
I'm sure Eugene and Cass are doing just fine.
(grunts, groans) (sighs) (ticking, clinking) So annoying! I know! All these delicious cookies, and no milk? No, wait, she packed milk! (sighs) Unbelievable! Did you eat all the cookies? I'm not a pig, Cassandra.
I ate all of your cookies.
I'm saving mine for later.
Huh! You are nothing but a self-serving, inconsiderate, arrogant freeloader.
Ah! You know I could rattle off insulting adjectives describing your personality too, but to do so would imply that you actually have a personality, and I just wouldn't feel right about doing that! Hey, hold on, wait, don't don't eat that! Oh! Go ahead, but it's got my milk drool on it.
Quick! Let me see the others.
What are you doing? Cassandra: X6? Y15? I think these are coordinates for a grid! Rapunzel must have hidden the key behind a loose brick in the wall, and these cookies tell us which one.
So, just for clarification, I can eat the cookies now or no? Yes! That's it? That's just a rusty spring! And on your first guess too.
Wait, there's more.
It's another clue.
"This one is easy.
"Just follow my lead.
" Follow her lead? How? She locked us in here, this makes no sense.
That's because we're not supposed to follow her "leed.
" We're supposed to follow her "led.
" Hmm, different words, same spelling.
Ah-ha! Don't worry, kid.
You're not the first person to match wits with this baby, and come off looking like a total chump.
(sighs) In fact, you might say making people look like chumps is kind of my spécialité.
- (grunts) - Patience, brother.
Our time will come.
(straining) - Whoa.
Whoa! - Eugene: Ow! Cassandra: Look! There's another clue.
I've been looking for this! "This is your final clue, so pick up the pace.
"You'll find the last treasure in the same spot "you find your face?" Hey there, looking good.
Hey! I was using that! Ugh, another useless item.
Ho, ho, ho.
Well done! You've discovered the castle's junk drawer.
Me? You were part of this too! Oh, no! Don't stir me into your failure stew! I was fine to sit here eating delicious X and Y cookies until Rapunzel gave up and let us out.
And that's just like you, isn't it? Sit back and let things fall right into your lap.
What's that supposed to mean? Oh, come on! You know exactly what it means! Inmate: Hey, Pretty Boy, Bowl Cut! Why don't you two scud buckets pipe down? Why don't you mind your own business? Ooh! "Mind my own business.
" Is that some kind of comeback, Lady Frowns-A-Lot? - (growls) - Whoa, whoa, Cassandra.
Let me handle this.
Look at that! Fancy Boots has got something to say! Name calling? Come on, we're better than that, aren't we? Sure, we could sit here and make fun of each other.
Tease Cassandra for her chronic joylessness, or me for my uncommonly good looks, or you for your poor dental hygiene, tragic fashion sense, robust body odor, and what are clearly woefully misguided life-decision-making skills, but do you really want to go down that road? Mmm, I guess not.
Rapunzel: I can't believe how much I can get done with just a little quiet.
- Some game, huh? - Yep.
So, Cass, let me ask you something.
- What's your deal? - What do you mean? I mean, you know, other than being a venomous cobra woman who has to follow my girlfriend everywhere, - I don't know the first thing about you.
- So? So, as I see it, you always make fun of my past, it's only fair I know something about yours.
- Plus we have nothing but time.
- What do you wanna know? I don't know, what are your hopes? Your dreams? Is there a venomous cobra man in your life? (laughing) Cobra man, no.
Besides, I I don't have time for dreams.
"Don't have time for dreams?" Honey, you are hanging out with the wrong princess.
My dad taught me at a very young age to focus on the here and now.
Yeah, wow.
Being raised by the Captain of the Guards musta been a real treat.
He's a good man, and he taught me a lot.
He showed me how to defend myself, how to take on responsibility, how to earn my keep.
Besides, I don't remember my real parents, so, I got nothing to compare him to, anyway.
Yeah, I don't remember mine either.
I used to imagine they were swashbuckling explorers searching the world for treasure, and once they found it they'd come back and get me.
It's dumb, I know.
How about you? I mean, you ever imagine what your parents were like? You know what? I don't really want to discuss this with you, Eugene.
Okay, fine, I'll just shut up then.
You know, just when I think I start to see a glimmer of a speck of a pinprick of a soul, you flip your ice switch back on.
Stop trying to pry into my life.
I wasn't prying.
Wait a minute, that's it, pry! We're supposed to build a jack with this stuff and pry the door open.
See, this piece faces upwards, and then you add this part to the top.
Yes, brilliant! Cass, oh, you made it! See? Oh, I am so glad you and Eugene found a way to work to (Pascal squeaks) Whoa, Frideborg.
I am sorry.
Ah, I thought that you were Cassandra, but not that I'm not happy to see you, Frideborg.
I think you're terrific, by the way.
Did you did you change your hair? No? Nothing's different? Huh.
Well, I have to go over there now.
(Pascal squeaks) Huh? Oh, relax, Pascal.
I can handle this.
Oh, yeah! I see what all the fuss is about.
No, this is fun! (grunting) Duck! Spin! - Thrust! Uh-oh.
- (thud) Alright, that should do it.
Here, let me try.
No! No, no, no, that's too far! Leverage, Cassandra.
It's all about the leverage.
I know what I'm doing.
No, you don't! Cut it out! You cut it out! The jack was my idea! Ugh, "my idea.
" "Me, me, me.
" It's always all about you.
Okay, let's make it about you than.
"I'm Cassandra, "and I can't stand Eugene, "because he's smarter than me, has better teeth, "and doesn't use the word 'vahz.
'" Ugh! You're making it about you again! That's because I'm far more interesting! No! (grunts) Eugene: Oh, great! You lost my comb! - That was the first thing I ever stole.
- (snickering) - I had it re-engraved and everything.
- Looks like it's our lucky day.
Woo-hoo! Take that to the rose garden! Yeah, you're right.
It has been a long time.
We we should check on them.
Don't give me that look.
This absolutely doesn't mean my plan didn't work, Pascal.
(whistling) Worked like a charm.
(cell unlocks) Sideburns: Time for a little payback.
Ah, Blondie.
Finally oh! Hello, Rider.
That's unfortunate.
- Friends of yours? - Sideburns! Long time, no sneer! You look good! The moisture in the dungeon has done wonders for your leathery skin.
Did you lose weight? Prison food, am I right? (growls) No, no, I guess not.
- (growling) - (whistling blowing) - Huh? - Guard: The Stabbington's have escaped! Guess we're gonna need a couple of human shields, if we wanna get outta here.
Ahh, thank goodness.
Wait a minute.
(grunts) (disgusted groan) Eugene: Let's rethink the sack thing, huh? - It's wreaking havoc on my hair.
- Cassandra: Nice, Eugene.
Huh? Hold it right there! Don't move.
Cassandra! - Dad.
- Hmm, Dad.
I'd call your men off if you know what's good for your precious daughter Captain.
I hear voices.
Sounds like my plan worked! Cass! Eugene! How did this happen? Stay back, Princess.
Guards, lower your weapons.
It's okay, Blondie, I'm working on a plan.
Okay, Eugene, let's hear it.
Uh, I-I-I can't say it now, cause they can still hear us.
Captain, they're getting away.
Captain: Come on! Rapunzel: We'll never catch up to them.
Wait, but thanks to Cass, I know where the corridor empties.
Come on, Pascal! Captain: Over here! They went this way.
Hurry! Ho, hey! Probably not the best idea.
Time to get rid of the extra baggage.
(both grunting) Say, "Sayonara.
" (Patch grunts) Actually, I just got a much better idea.
- (yelps) - Let's snuff out Rider, but keep the Captain's daughter as a bargaining chip.
You just sit there like a good little girl.
This will just take a second.
- (yelps) - Hey! Where do you think you're going? Uhh We've got a little score to settle.
Guys, guys, hold on! You clearly have no idea what you're talking about.
Cassandra is useless.
(mutters) Right there.
I'm the princess' boyfriend.
I come with a lot more leverage.
Sideburns: It ain't about leverage with you, Rider.
It's about revenge.
We've been waiting a long time for this.
Say goodnight.
(clears throat) (grunts) (rumbling) Now that's how you use a halberd.
Yep, it's all about the leverage.
- (rumbling intensifies) - (gasps) Eugene! Come on, let's get outta here.
(grunts) (both panting) Rapunzel: Hello? Are you guys down there? Blondie? (grunting, panting) (sighs) Oh! I am so glad you're both okay.
Guard: There they are.
(groaning) Cassandra, you okay? I am now.
Eugene I am so sorry.
I had no idea my game would lead to such a disaster.
I really thought you guys would have fun.
Oh, look, you've had better ideas, but you don't have to apologize.
It must be hard with both of us going at each other's throats all the time, so from now on, even though I have no idea what you see in her, I'll try to be nice to the dragon lady I mean, Cassandra.
(inhales, exhales deeply) You ready? Uh, yeah, yeah.
Okay, I can do this.
I just gotta walk in there, and tell the scariest most intimidating man in the world that I broke his favorite vase.
He's gonna kill me.
My dad's not gonna kill you! Hey, do you remember last month when the royal tailor accidentally tore his robe? My dad didn't kill him.
Of course, he's got like a million of those robes, and only one of those vases exists in the entire world, and come to think of it, I remember seeing the tailor locked in the stockade.
Blondie, not helping.
Yeah, sorry.
All right.
I just gotta face the music? Hey, you got a sec? I guess.
I just wanted to say that I really appreciate what you did.
I figured if you got kicked out of the castle, Rapunzel would be all mopey, and I don't really do mope.
Ha ha, so does this mean I can borrow your halberd? (growls) No halberd, okay, yeah, I'm okay with that.
- (happy squeak) - Yes! Cassandra: By the way, where is my halberd? - Eugene: I don't know.
- Cassandra: Well, you had it last.
Eugene: I did not.
Cassandra: Oh, here we go again.
I can't believe you're gonna lie to my face.
Eugene: I can't even look at your face.
- Cassandra: Why you - (vase shatters) Eugene: Hahaha, missed me! You broke it this time! Ha! (vocalizing music) Now I got my eyes opening wider My heart burning like fire Feels like I'm so alive I'm never going back Whatever I want now, I'm gonna chase it Who I am I can't contain it I'm not gonna hold it in Cause there's more of me to give Oh yeah There's more of me to give