The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron, Boy Genius (2002) s01e05 Episode Script

1
Gotta Blast!
From here to the stars
for my candy bars ♪
Rides a kid with a knack
for invention ♪
( gasps )
With super-powered mind,
a mechanical canine ♪
( barks )
He rescues the day
from sure destruction ♪
Help!
This is the theme song ♪
( screams )
For Jimmy Neutron. ♪
( mechanical whirring )
( barking )
( yells )
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
and MTV TELEVISION NETWORKS
( birds singing )
But of all
the ocean's mysteries
( clucking )
my favorite is
the haunting mating call
of the humpback whale.
( animalistic groaning )
Very good, Carl.
Ooh. Oh, that wasn't
a mating call, Miss Fowl.
Butch just gave me a wedgie.
I want everyone
to choose up partners
for your oceanography projects.
( all talking at once )
Hey, hey, don't
fight over me, boys.
There's plenty of
genius for everyone.
Actually, Jimmy,
I'm still radioactive
from last time
we were lab partners.
Yeah, and I still can't go
near power plants.
Oh okay.
Poor, Speutron.
What's it like
knowing no one wants
to be your partner?
I don't know, Cindy.
Why don't you turn around
and find out?
( gasps )
Libby, what are you
doing with Britney?!
Nothing.
This-This isn't
the new Mix Master P CD.
I mean, I didn't promise
to do Britney's entire project
in exchange for it
if that's what you're thinking.
Well, you two, it would seem
you're the only ones left
without partners.
Let the record show
that Jimmy and Cindy will work
on their oceanography project
together!
( clucking )
( class gasping,
thunderous rumble )
( clucking )
Why, that new school bell
is a real waker-upper.
Ah, come on
out, Jimmy.
I've got
Fish Snack 'Ems--
the great taste of
fried seafood in a bag.
Yeah, Jimmy.
Hiding from Cindy
isn't the answer.
Not when reasonably-priced
plastic surgery is
so readily available.
JIMMY:
That won't be necessary, boys.
May I present
my latest invention
the Neutron Submersible--
capable of attaining undersea
depths of 90,000 fathoms.
90,000 fathoms!
That's more than
60,000 fathoms.
Uh, Jimmy,
if you're going to start
a new life
under the sea
can we have your stuff?
I'm not moving, Carl.
I've simply devised a project
so adventurous
that Cindy won't go
anywhere near it.
Allow me to explain using
these info-taining visual aids.
Two centuries ago,
a pirate ship named
the Oozy Scab hit a squall
and sank to the bottom
of Retroville Bay
with a mysterious
treasure chest.
No sub could ever get
deep enough to retrieve it
until today.
I'm finding that treasure.
Listen, Neutron.
I'm not any happier
about being lab partners
than you are
so let's just classify
some seashells
and get it over with.
Darn it all, Cindy!
I wish I could join you
in your fascinating
seashell project,
but I've already planned
a dangerous search
for a shipwreck
in my extremely cramped
submarine.
Okay, I'm in.
What?!
But-But there will be sharks
and-and minimal leg room!
I think I
can handle it.
Now, we'll need some
quality personnel
to man the controls.
On second thought,
you guys will do.
We sail at dawn.
JIMMY:
Gentlemen-- and annoying
female interloper--
by the end of this journey,
we'll all be rich.
This is awesome, Jimmy.
I've never been
in a submarine before.
Hey, Jimmy, I found
a cool video game
starring a thin, green guy
and his friend, Mr. Bleep Bleep.
That's the radar, Carl.
Oh. Well, my
mom doesn't let
us have radar.
( Cindy clearing
her throat )
If you three sea slugs
are done fooling around
maybe we can get down to work.
Now, after researching
the last known coordinates
of the Oozy Scab, and accounting
for 200 years of ocean drift
I've been able to map out
the wreck's probable location.
Maps are old school.
I've invented something
that'll make finding
the Oozy Scab a no-brainer.
Oh, yeah,
here we go.
Time to complicate
a perfectly good plan
with one of your goofy,
unnecessary inventions.
You're just jealous
'cause Jimmy's a genius.
Go ahead, Captain Jimmy.
Tell us about your goofy,
unnecessary invention.
I give you
the Gill Gab 9000--
the world's first
fish translating device.
We just speak
into the microphone
and our words are translated
into fish sonar
allowing us
to interview the fish
and ask them
where the treasure is.
And you wanted to use a map.
Well, that is
the lamest thing
I've ever heard.
What dunderhead
would want to talk
to a bunch of
stupid fish?
I want to talk to fish!
I want to talk to fish!
Give me that.
Oh, hey, you little fellow.
Hi.
Do you like Fish Snack 'Ems?
They're made from fish like you
only cut up
into little, bite-size pieces
and deep fried in burning oil.
( screams )
Carl, you're supposed to ask
about the treasure.
Hey, you smelling pile
of scales.
I know you know
where the Oozy Scab is
so start singing
before I go barracuda on you!
Uh, maybe I'll just
ask the questions, huh?
So, I says to him
You want to know
what I says to him?
Yeah, okay.
I says,
"What's this blonde scale
doing on your dorsal fin?"
Wha?
Uh-huh.
"Have you been seeing
that angel fish again?"
( laughs )
And you know what he says?
I don't know what he says.
Okay, okay.
Thanks a lot. Bye.
Got to go.
Well, she was
a gold mine
of information.
Ready to admit
your invention's a
flop yet, Neutron?
Yeah, maybe Cindy's right,
Jimmy.
We've been interviewing fish
for hours.
And we'll keep interviewing them
until I say so!
Miss Fowl maybe have made Cindy
my lab partner
but it's still my ship!
You just can't
deal with the fact
that my plan's
better than yours.
Is not!
Is so.
Is not.
Is so!
Is not!
Is so.
Stop it! Stop it!
Can't you see
your constant fighting is
tearing us all apart?!
( radar beeping )
( Sheen laughing )
That was cool, Carl.
I really believed you
for a second.
( chuckling ):
Thanks.
I saw that on a soap opera once.
( yawning )
I'm tired, Jimmy.
I want to go home.
You've been talking to fish
all night.
Do you even know
where we are?
Don't worry.
I made an automatic pilot system
out of my mom's microwave.
It's been piloting the sub
for hours.
( bell dinging )
Whoops.
Wrong setting.
Well, we couldn't have drifted
too far.
Hmm.
Anyone familiar
with the Sea of Japan?
Great.
Nice going, Neutron.
Not only haven't
we found the treasure
but now we're completely lost.
Lost?! We can't be lost.
We only brought enough food
for two days.
And I'm not eating Carl.
Well, I'm not
eating you, either.
Okay. Maybe
a bite.
No one's eating anybody.
Just give me time
to come up with a plan.
Too late. You
had your chance.
Now, stand down.
What?
You can't take over my sub.
Oh, no?
Miss Fowl made
us lab partners.
That makes me
co-captain.
According to
The Big Book
of Submarines
that gives me the right
to relieve you of duty.
Throw him in the brig!
It'll take a lot more
than ravenous hunger
to turn my men against me.
Show her, boys.
SHEEN:
I'll get some rope.
I'll hold him down.
Hey, hey, you can't do this.
This is mutiny.
Turn this tub around, boys.
We've got an Oozy Scab to find.
CARL:
Mr. Bleep Bleep says
large object at 2:00.
SHEEN:
Hey, cool.
It's the Oozy Scab.
Yes!
Did you hear that,
Neutron?
Beginner's luck.
I'm taking her in close.
Steady, steady.
( crashing thud )
( screaming )
Sea monster!
No, it's not.
It's a giant squid.
Oh.
ALL:
Giant squid!
( rattling )
What should we do, Jimmy?
How do I know?
You're the captain.
But I don't want
to be captain anymore.
You be captain.
Fine. First admit
that I'm a smarter, nicer
all-around better person
than you.
Forget it!
Attention, giant squid.
We mean you no harm.
It's all Jimmy's fault!
( yelps )
It's not
working, Cindy!
Uh, can't we just
let Jimmy out?
But I
Oh, all right.
Say the magic words.
Jimmy Neutron is
a smarter, nicer
all-around better person
than I am.
( chuckles )
Now that wasn't so hard,
was it?
Hurry, Jimmy.
Do something.
Hmm, the Gill Gab
seems functional.
Why isn't it working?
Whoa! Hurry, Jimmy.
Quick, Carl, throw me
your bag of Fish Snack 'Ems.
Just as I thought.
Freeze-dried squid.
Aha!
I don't get it.
Don't you see?
The squid can't understand us
because the Gill Gab
only works on fish.
But if I put squid DNA
from Carl's snack
on the Gill Gab's microchip
maybe we can communicate
with him.
Aha!
I don't get it.
JIMMY:
Attention, Squid,
we come in peace.
( British accent ):
I say, who said that?
We mean no harm.
We just came for
the treasure chest
inside the boat.
That piece of rubbish?
Why didn't you say so?
And to think I was about
to crush your heads
and suck out your guts.
( airy laugh )
Oh, dear.
There you are.
BOTH:
You did it, Jimmy!
And don't worry.
Despite your
mutinous behavior
you'll all
still get a cut
of the treasure.
MISS FOWL:
This is the most
delicious salt water taffy
I've ever tasted, children.
Your project gets an "A-plus"!
( clucks )
You know,
Jimmy, I hear
each one of these
pieces of taffy is
worth over three cents.
I don't want
to talk about it.
JIMMY:
Now, Carl. Now.
Oh, why doesn't he push
the button?
Hey, Jimmy.
I was having
an argument
with my stupid
little sister.
Is the Potty
Fairy real?
The Potty Fairy?
( scoffs )
Of course not.
Then who have
I been aiming at
all these years?
I'll ask Carl.
He's more worldly.
( explosive thud )
( air hissing )
Carl, what happened?
You were supposed
to deploy
the antigravity
parachute at
5,000 feet.
Uh, sorry there, Jimmy.
I guess I fell asleep again.
Well, your lack of focus
is interfering with science.
( parents humming )
Honey
I'm going to the supermarket
and your dad's coming along
to eat the loose grapes
from the spill gutter
around the produce bin.
Eat grapy-grape grapes.
Got to get them
before they turn into raisins
because after that
( groans )
That's it. Food.
You just haven't catalyzed
enough hydrocarbons
into C02, water
and energy this morning.
Huh?
You're hungry.
( snoring )
SHEEN:
Hey, Jimmy, you
were right about
the Potty Fairy.
But surely you
must believe in
the Garbage
Disposal Bunny.
No.
Carl, I have
a few more experiments
you're going to have to be
wide awake for
so eat the rest of
( thumping )
Carl?
( snoring )
You obviously
need more food.
Well, till your parents
get back
all you've got
is lima beans.
( gasps ):
I hate lima beans!
And I'm not hungry,
Jimmy.
I'm tired, 'cause of
the nightmare!
( thunder rumbling )
It's awful!
A horrible, spooky thing's
chasing me.
And I run and I run,
but I can't get away!
You should do
what I do during
a nightmare.
Simply prove, on paper--
using non-Euclidean geometry--
that the feared object
is a logical impossibility
and it vanishes!
Yeah, but my dreams aren't
as logical as yours, Jimmy.
I married a turkey once.
Plus, when I'm asleep
you're not there
to explain things.
True.
Wait, just a neutronic minute!
Thanks to my most recent
invention, I can be.
( electrical buzzing )
I call it
the Dream Injector 5,000.
It's revolutionary!
And it's safe.
( nasally ):
Are you sure?
Carl, I'm going to project
your dream
into the somnus portal
then walk through
and up this tube
and into your
nightmare.
Is it going to hurt?
No, huh-uh.
I'll be fine.
Now, uh,
go to sleep.
Well, I can't just
go to sleep.
Why not?
Um, 'cause I have
a soothing routine.
First, my mom turns down
the light.
Vox, lights.
Then ( sniffles )
she makes me hot milk.
Oh, for crying
in mud.
Goddard!
Anything else?
BOTH:
Nony, nony, nony. ♪
( snoring )
( machine engaging )
CARL
Oh, no!
I'm in my underwear at the mall!
JIMMY:
He's asleep.
If I'm not out of his dream
in an hour
wake him up.
Rodger-dodger.
( gasps and snorts )
Nony, non ♪
( yawns ):
Good night, moon.
( Sheen snoring )
It works!
I'm inside Carl's dream.
LIBBY:
Sorry I'm late.
My paddle broke, so I had
to row my desk to school
with this plastic leg.
Quiet.
( clucking )
The great, merciful
and powerfully-chinned Carl
is about to speak
( clucking ) speak.
Thank you, Winifred.
This is my revolutionary
voltage pandolizer.
I converted the hoskibobits
to the flutch
by putting it through
the hoobaboobler.
Ooh, wow.
Ooh
Wow.
When Carl's asleep
he dreams he's a genius,
like me.
Like you?! Please!
You can't even spell
your own name.
Now, I'll need a dumb,
but willing, volunteer.
But I'm not dumb.
I'm a genius.
( kids laughing )
( laughing ):
If you're so smart
what's the square root
of a flexnard, huh?
Well, that doesn't make
any sense.
The square root of a flexnard
is a cup full of boogers.
He did that all in his head.
Come on, Carl.
We don't have
time for this.
We've got work to do.
( grunts )
I will now turn on
the Really Smart
Experiment machine.
You wired that coil wrong.
All this will do is
give me 10,000 volts
which-- since
this is a dream--
I won't actually
( zapping and yelling )
KIDS:
Ooh
Oh, no.
Whatever Carl dreams
actually happens to me.
Sheen! Sheen!
Wake him up!
( snoring )
JIMMY:
Sheen?
Sheen!
Okay, enough!
Carl, you're asleep.
This is a dream.
( scoffs ):
Don't be silly.
If it was a dream,
could I do this?
That's the only time
you can do it.
Carl you're asleep.
There are llamas
in the classroom.
Libby rode to school
with a plastic leg!
Her paddle broke!
We don't have
time for this!
( kids gasping )
He-He touched his
astounded Carlness!
Send him to the Ultra Principal.
( clucking )
( all clucking )
What are you doing?
( yelling )
For behold
I am the Ultra Principal!
No, you're not.
You're a friend of mine
inside a dream
another friend of mine's having.
Hah! And again, hah!
If I was a mere dream,
could I do this?
That's Carl's brain.
Is not.
( authoritative voice ):
I am the brain
of the Ultra Principal
dispenser of justice
throughout the universe.
Okay. What am I here for?
You've insulted Carl
the smartest and handsomest
student in all the land.
I sentence you to be
his monkey boy
for a m-million years.
With the duty of testing
his inventions
and fashioning
festive doily hats
for him to wear.
I'm not going to agree to that.
You already signed your name--
incorrectly, by the way--
on this binding
Monkey Boy Contract.
Hah! That's not my signature.
Huh?
( yelling )
They're free
gutter grapes
that would
only spoil otherwise
your Magnificent
Geniousness.
( grunts )
Hey, Mom and Dad, look.
It's my personal monkey boy.
Hey, th-those aren't
your parents.
They're mine!
( laughing hysterically )
Don't be silly, young man.
I would never have a child
as dim-witted as you.
Plus, if it was
a dream, could
I do this?
( groans )
Ew, Hugh, you're
brain's all wet
and stretchy.
( muffled ):
That's my tongue.
Let go. I've got
to taste pie with that.
( tongue clattering )
Carl, listen to me.
I'm only here
to help you vanquish
the horrible spooky thing.
( parents gulping )
( gasps )
Who told monkey boy
about the sp-sp-spooky thing?
( growls )
This is hopeless.
Wait a minute.
If he won't listen
to real logic
maybe I should try dream logic.
Worth a try.
You told me
about the spooky thing
oh, brilliant, handsome Carl
while you were a-peddling
a bike with no wheels
backwards, up the pyramids,
um, in a ballerina's tutu.
Oh, yeah.
I remember that.
But-But even you probably
aren't smart enough
to know where it lives.
Oh, no?
For your information, it's
( whimpers ):
under there.
That's what you're scared of?
( harmonica playing )
A stupid lima bean?
I know you hate 'em, Carl,
but they're not scary.
( growling )
( gasping )
( Carl yelling )
( lima bean snarling )
Look, Carl, wake up!
That thing can really
eat me!
I'm not asleep.
Yes, you are.
And we're going to
prove it mathematically
using the
Riemann hypothesis.
( panting ):
Write this down.
All of nontrivial zeroes
of the zeta function
have real part
equal to one-half
Okay, but my pen just turned
into a worm.
( snarling )
( gobbling )
Oh, hi, honey.
I brought you dinner.
( gobbling )
( panting )
Genius won't help me here.
I need to show Carl something
so outrageous
he'll realize the only
explanation is he's asleep.
But what?!
I-I washed your brain.
But I had trouble getting
the think stains out.
That's it!
Jimmy kissing Cindy?
Oh, that couldn't happen
in a million years.
( snorts )
I must be dreaming.
( exhales )
Oh, wow, I had
the craziest dream.
( panting )
I know, I was there.
You almost got me killed
by a legume.
( growling )
Sheen, don't move.
There's a giant
man-eating lima bean
behind you.
Hah! You guys.
I haven't believed in that
since I was, like, seven.
( growling continues )
( roaring )
( kids yelling )
( loud thumping )
JIMMY:
Luckily, as all
bean farmers know
Phaseolus limensis
perishes when exposed
to dry air and overly
nitrogenous soil.
But you hit it with a hammer.
Come on, honey,
right this way.
( moaning )
It's okay.
( sighs ):
Your father got overexcited
and ate a bolt
that fell off a grocery cart.
It was grape-shaped.
Yes.
Uh, hey, Carl, you
won't tell anyone
about that awful,
desperate thing
I had to do
to wake you up,
will ya?
Of course not,
Jimmy.
( footsteps )
Not even in his dreams,
Neutron!
( yelps )
( disgusted grunt )
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
and MTV TELEVISION NETWORKS
Captioned by
access.wgbh.org
( barking )
Oh.
Hi. I'm Paul.
JIMMY:
Got to blast!