The Adventures of Superboy (1988) s01e05 Episode Script
Countdown to Nowhere
No lasers. No lasers.
No lasers. No lasers.
No lasers. No lasers.
Hey, thanks a lot
for helping us out.
[chanting continues]
Hey, Clark. You'll never get
interviews over all this noise.
Oh, yeah? Watch me.
A good reporter
hears everything.
[chanting continues]
Hey, T.J., nobody's
allowed on the steps.
Come on.
You're not telling me
that the campus security
is against freedom of the press?
Your own college newspaper,
The Shuster Herald?
- Not you, Mr. Miller.
- Back off, kid.
That will be such
a good angle.
Come on.
Okay. Well, you can't
shoot 'em all, huh?
Hey, Lana. Looks like
you're in the march again.
Hi, Clark. Why don't you help
us out and get involved here?
I don't get involved in the
issues. I only report them.
Well, then report this.
They're experimenting
with engines of death
in that building.
Say that again. Punch him
in the nose and do it.
I can see the caption. "Irate
Picket Belt School Reporter."
- Ready?
- Cut the clowning, T.J.
Why don't you drop your
camera and pick up a sign?
Hey, like Clark said,
I'm the media, not the message.
What happened to,
"One for all and all for one?"
(Clark)
That's why we're here.
It's rumored you're
gonna stage a sit-in.
(T.J.)
Everybody knows the sixties.
Try taking over that building,
you'll be in jail.
- Your dad's gonna be proud.
- They can't put us in jail.
We're exercising our
democratic right to protest.
Like my dad did in the sixties
and he would be proud.
Look, even the football jocks
are concerned with the issue.
You two mashed potato brains
should be ashamed of yourselves.
Keep it up.
Hey, way to go, fellas.
So, uh, do we
sign in or what?
Yeah, just follow me.
To the end of time.
The name's Roscoe.
Hi, mine's Lana.
So, Lana..
Nobody ever got anywhere
by just marching up and down.
Well, we've been thinking
about a sit-in.
How about if we actually planted
one of those picket signs
on that experimental
laser of yours?
It's a great gesture.
What's that gonna prove?
- No one's gonna see it.
- You kidding?
'Do you know how many cameras
are gonna be clicking tomorrow'
when they unveil that gun
at the press conference?
How do we do it?
Theodore here is the fastest
running back in the country.
You distract that guard up there
for two seconds, he'll get in
plant the picket,
and he'll be back out
before you can bat those
pretty little eyes of yours.
It's a killer idea.
Let's go.
You're our lead.
[theme music]
[music continues]
[chanting]
No lasers! No lasers!
Restricted area, Lana.
Mr. Miller,
this is a school building.
Can't deny students
entry to it.
I'm sorry.
Those are my orders.
Just back off
and shut up.
[dramatic music]
[chanting continues]
[Lana screams]
Ah!
Come on.
[chanting]
No lasers! No lasers!
[grunts]
Let's go. Gas 'em.
Gas her? What a waste.
Move it! We got about 90 minutes
to get to the main event.
(Theodore) Otherwise,
we blow all of this.
[dramatic music]
[coughing]
Stop it!
Why don't you unload her?
When we get the payoff, you can
have 100 broads if you want.
- Sex has nothing to do with it.
- You got another word?
Two words. Bargaining chip.
If we happen to need one.
[tires screeching]
[chanting]
No lasers! No lasers!
Hey, uh, Clark. Clark!
- You know that cop?
- Who? Miller?
- He's not at his post.
- Wait a minute.
He wouldn't leave the entrance
while the demonstration is on.
(T.J.)
No way.
[shrill squeal]
Why don't you go tell security.
I mean, it's probably nothing.
- I'll check it out.
- Okay.
[dramatic music]
[coughing]
They went back.
They took the laser gun.
Who, Mr. Miller?
The football players.
They took Lana.
[coughing]
Whoa! Why are you so mad?
We're on the same side.
You just killed two men
like it was nothing.
How can you guys
be so callous?
We both wanna make sure
Uncle Sam doesn't end up
with a death dealing weapon,
don't we?
If you think the army's
gonna let you
waltz in with their laser gun,
you guys are bunch of idiots.
Why don't you shut her up?
I'll handle her.
You just do what I tell you.
It was four of them.
They-they took the laser gun.
Were they students?
I figured they were,
with the uniforms and all.
But now that you mention it,
they did look a little old.
What're we gonna
do about Lana?
We're gonna find her.
That's what we're gonna do.
- How do you feel, Mr. Miller?
- Terrible about the girl.
- She put up a hell of a fight.
- Well, did they hurt her?
Yeah, one of 'em
belted her pretty good.
Did they say anything
about where they were headed?
Think, Mr. Miller.
They must've said something.
Uh, look, kid.
Get off my back.
I-I'm g-grateful you saved my
life, but my head's killing me.
Sorry, Mr. Miller.
But Lana's life could
depend on your remembering.
Your thing for her
can cost us 30 years in the can
if she identifies us.
I told you I have
everything under control.
Besides..
She knows she's not gonna
be around to identify anybody.
- Don't you, sweetheart?
- Don't you touch me.
Oh, ho, hoo!
Mr. Miller, come on. Think
about it. What did they say?
Uh, yeah, the-the first guy,
he-he said, um, um..
they have ninety minutes
to get some place.
Like a, like the main event..
or they would blow
the whole thing.
- Ooh.
- Thanks, Mr. Miller.
Ninety minutes.
Ninety minutes.
T.J., what do you think
that van could average?
Uh, bottlenecks and traffic,
maybe 50-55 at the most.
That's what I'm figuring.
So let's say, what, 90 minutes
that would put
their destination
somewhere in that
circumference, right?
Now what we have to do
is find the main event.
[telephone ringing]
- Herald.
- Hi, Clark.
Oh, hi, Ma.
Clark, how's everything
at school?
Um, everything's fine.
We didn't get your
weekly call this morning.
Is everything alright?
Yeah, everything's okay, Ma.
Can I call you back later?
I don't like the sound of your
voice. Are you in trouble?
Not me. Lana.
Lana? Clark, are you thinking
of becoming Superboy?
I'm not sure that
I have a choice.
I understand.
You can't talk now.
Just know that
your Pa and I are sure
you'll do the right thing.
Thanks, Ma. I miss you guys.
Okay. So I can
call you tomorrow?
- Of course. And son?
- Uh-huh.
- Be careful.
- I will.
- Goodbye now.
- Okay, goodbye. I love you.
Bye-bye.
It's the middle of the week.
There's no football game,
no baseball game.
I-I looked up boxing and
wrestling. There's nothing.
What main event could
they be talking about?
(man on TV) T-minus 20
minutes to shuttle launch.
Coming up on
auto sequence start.
The main event.
Kennedy Space Center.
Clark, they're
after this shuttle.
[dramatic music]
(male #1) Coming up on
auto sequence start..
Move it. That van
won't do more than 80.
Go ahead. I'll call the highway
patrol and get on a chopper.
What about me?
I'll meet you at the
Beach Cafe, Canaveral.
- And look out for Lana.
- What are you, crazy?
T.J., I don't have time to argue
with you. Lana's in trouble.
[dramatic music]
[music continues]
[music continues]
[plane droning]
Right on schedule.
(Theodore) Let's hope that
sub we're supposed to meet
is on schedule too.
He'll be where
he's supposed to be.
With that arms dealer
and our 20 million dollars.
(Roscoe) You were wondering
how we'd get away with this?
The answer to that
question just landed.
Every eye in the country is
gonna be glued on that channel.
No civilian will be allowed
within five miles
of that launch pad.
But who's gonna
challenge the chopper
of a four-star general if it
takes off and skims the gulf?
[laughing]
Theodore, what do you say we
test the army's newest weapon?
- Let's do it.
- Hold on.
What do you know?
It works.
Yeah.
Come on, get this thing off me
and get out of here.
[beeping]
What the hell?
Get me security.
Unidentified flying object
coming in from the west.
I'm not here to hurt you and
your weapons can't harm me.
Who are you?
I'm called Superboy.
I fight for truth, justice
and the American way.
(Lana)
Help!
[Lana screaming]
Good luck with the shuttle.
Hey! Hey, he's getting away.
I sure hope he's one of us.
Okay.
Hey, what is that?
I don't know but let's
get out of here.
Move it. Move it!
We're full throttle.
He's after us!
No. He's after you.
Not anymore.
[Lana screaming]
[screaming continues]
Hey, Roscoe. You were right.
Whatever it is, he's going
after her instead of us.
[laughing]
You didn't want me
to bring her along.
[screaming]
Easy now.
Whoever you are, wherever
you came from, thank you.
- I'm so scared.
- That makes two of us.
(Lana)
T.J.?
- Lana?
- Up here, T.J.
You're alright.
You can let go now.
Hello, T.J. White.
Shuster University,
secret department of journalism.
Can I get an interview, sir?
Nice to see you there, Lana.
Who are you?
How do you fly?
- Are there others like you?
- Excuse me will you?
Hey, wait. They're murderers
and they got the laser gun.
What..
Lana, w-where is it
he comes from?
Up there.
Isn't he wonderful?
Who-who is he? I mean,
d-does he have a name?
He said he's
called Superboy.
Yeah, he reminds me
of somebody.
He's back!
[chuckling]
I don't believe this guy!
[crackling]
Give it full throttle!
Get us outta here!
[siren wailing]
Wow!
[applauding]
- Here you go.
- Thanks.
- Hey, guys.
- Hey, Clark. Look!
Lana. She's okay.
You would not believe
what happened to me.
- Sure, I will.
- You wouldn't.
You missed the whole thing.
There's this guy, and he flies.
- No kidding.
- Yeah.
And he's so incredible
and amazing andso unreal.
- I'm sure he is.
- I think you forgot awesome.
I did.
[laughing]
[theme music]
Captioned by Grant Brown
No lasers. No lasers.
No lasers. No lasers.
Hey, thanks a lot
for helping us out.
[chanting continues]
Hey, Clark. You'll never get
interviews over all this noise.
Oh, yeah? Watch me.
A good reporter
hears everything.
[chanting continues]
Hey, T.J., nobody's
allowed on the steps.
Come on.
You're not telling me
that the campus security
is against freedom of the press?
Your own college newspaper,
The Shuster Herald?
- Not you, Mr. Miller.
- Back off, kid.
That will be such
a good angle.
Come on.
Okay. Well, you can't
shoot 'em all, huh?
Hey, Lana. Looks like
you're in the march again.
Hi, Clark. Why don't you help
us out and get involved here?
I don't get involved in the
issues. I only report them.
Well, then report this.
They're experimenting
with engines of death
in that building.
Say that again. Punch him
in the nose and do it.
I can see the caption. "Irate
Picket Belt School Reporter."
- Ready?
- Cut the clowning, T.J.
Why don't you drop your
camera and pick up a sign?
Hey, like Clark said,
I'm the media, not the message.
What happened to,
"One for all and all for one?"
(Clark)
That's why we're here.
It's rumored you're
gonna stage a sit-in.
(T.J.)
Everybody knows the sixties.
Try taking over that building,
you'll be in jail.
- Your dad's gonna be proud.
- They can't put us in jail.
We're exercising our
democratic right to protest.
Like my dad did in the sixties
and he would be proud.
Look, even the football jocks
are concerned with the issue.
You two mashed potato brains
should be ashamed of yourselves.
Keep it up.
Hey, way to go, fellas.
So, uh, do we
sign in or what?
Yeah, just follow me.
To the end of time.
The name's Roscoe.
Hi, mine's Lana.
So, Lana..
Nobody ever got anywhere
by just marching up and down.
Well, we've been thinking
about a sit-in.
How about if we actually planted
one of those picket signs
on that experimental
laser of yours?
It's a great gesture.
What's that gonna prove?
- No one's gonna see it.
- You kidding?
'Do you know how many cameras
are gonna be clicking tomorrow'
when they unveil that gun
at the press conference?
How do we do it?
Theodore here is the fastest
running back in the country.
You distract that guard up there
for two seconds, he'll get in
plant the picket,
and he'll be back out
before you can bat those
pretty little eyes of yours.
It's a killer idea.
Let's go.
You're our lead.
[theme music]
[music continues]
[chanting]
No lasers! No lasers!
Restricted area, Lana.
Mr. Miller,
this is a school building.
Can't deny students
entry to it.
I'm sorry.
Those are my orders.
Just back off
and shut up.
[dramatic music]
[chanting continues]
[Lana screams]
Ah!
Come on.
[chanting]
No lasers! No lasers!
[grunts]
Let's go. Gas 'em.
Gas her? What a waste.
Move it! We got about 90 minutes
to get to the main event.
(Theodore) Otherwise,
we blow all of this.
[dramatic music]
[coughing]
Stop it!
Why don't you unload her?
When we get the payoff, you can
have 100 broads if you want.
- Sex has nothing to do with it.
- You got another word?
Two words. Bargaining chip.
If we happen to need one.
[tires screeching]
[chanting]
No lasers! No lasers!
Hey, uh, Clark. Clark!
- You know that cop?
- Who? Miller?
- He's not at his post.
- Wait a minute.
He wouldn't leave the entrance
while the demonstration is on.
(T.J.)
No way.
[shrill squeal]
Why don't you go tell security.
I mean, it's probably nothing.
- I'll check it out.
- Okay.
[dramatic music]
[coughing]
They went back.
They took the laser gun.
Who, Mr. Miller?
The football players.
They took Lana.
[coughing]
Whoa! Why are you so mad?
We're on the same side.
You just killed two men
like it was nothing.
How can you guys
be so callous?
We both wanna make sure
Uncle Sam doesn't end up
with a death dealing weapon,
don't we?
If you think the army's
gonna let you
waltz in with their laser gun,
you guys are bunch of idiots.
Why don't you shut her up?
I'll handle her.
You just do what I tell you.
It was four of them.
They-they took the laser gun.
Were they students?
I figured they were,
with the uniforms and all.
But now that you mention it,
they did look a little old.
What're we gonna
do about Lana?
We're gonna find her.
That's what we're gonna do.
- How do you feel, Mr. Miller?
- Terrible about the girl.
- She put up a hell of a fight.
- Well, did they hurt her?
Yeah, one of 'em
belted her pretty good.
Did they say anything
about where they were headed?
Think, Mr. Miller.
They must've said something.
Uh, look, kid.
Get off my back.
I-I'm g-grateful you saved my
life, but my head's killing me.
Sorry, Mr. Miller.
But Lana's life could
depend on your remembering.
Your thing for her
can cost us 30 years in the can
if she identifies us.
I told you I have
everything under control.
Besides..
She knows she's not gonna
be around to identify anybody.
- Don't you, sweetheart?
- Don't you touch me.
Oh, ho, hoo!
Mr. Miller, come on. Think
about it. What did they say?
Uh, yeah, the-the first guy,
he-he said, um, um..
they have ninety minutes
to get some place.
Like a, like the main event..
or they would blow
the whole thing.
- Ooh.
- Thanks, Mr. Miller.
Ninety minutes.
Ninety minutes.
T.J., what do you think
that van could average?
Uh, bottlenecks and traffic,
maybe 50-55 at the most.
That's what I'm figuring.
So let's say, what, 90 minutes
that would put
their destination
somewhere in that
circumference, right?
Now what we have to do
is find the main event.
[telephone ringing]
- Herald.
- Hi, Clark.
Oh, hi, Ma.
Clark, how's everything
at school?
Um, everything's fine.
We didn't get your
weekly call this morning.
Is everything alright?
Yeah, everything's okay, Ma.
Can I call you back later?
I don't like the sound of your
voice. Are you in trouble?
Not me. Lana.
Lana? Clark, are you thinking
of becoming Superboy?
I'm not sure that
I have a choice.
I understand.
You can't talk now.
Just know that
your Pa and I are sure
you'll do the right thing.
Thanks, Ma. I miss you guys.
Okay. So I can
call you tomorrow?
- Of course. And son?
- Uh-huh.
- Be careful.
- I will.
- Goodbye now.
- Okay, goodbye. I love you.
Bye-bye.
It's the middle of the week.
There's no football game,
no baseball game.
I-I looked up boxing and
wrestling. There's nothing.
What main event could
they be talking about?
(man on TV) T-minus 20
minutes to shuttle launch.
Coming up on
auto sequence start.
The main event.
Kennedy Space Center.
Clark, they're
after this shuttle.
[dramatic music]
(male #1) Coming up on
auto sequence start..
Move it. That van
won't do more than 80.
Go ahead. I'll call the highway
patrol and get on a chopper.
What about me?
I'll meet you at the
Beach Cafe, Canaveral.
- And look out for Lana.
- What are you, crazy?
T.J., I don't have time to argue
with you. Lana's in trouble.
[dramatic music]
[music continues]
[music continues]
[plane droning]
Right on schedule.
(Theodore) Let's hope that
sub we're supposed to meet
is on schedule too.
He'll be where
he's supposed to be.
With that arms dealer
and our 20 million dollars.
(Roscoe) You were wondering
how we'd get away with this?
The answer to that
question just landed.
Every eye in the country is
gonna be glued on that channel.
No civilian will be allowed
within five miles
of that launch pad.
But who's gonna
challenge the chopper
of a four-star general if it
takes off and skims the gulf?
[laughing]
Theodore, what do you say we
test the army's newest weapon?
- Let's do it.
- Hold on.
What do you know?
It works.
Yeah.
Come on, get this thing off me
and get out of here.
[beeping]
What the hell?
Get me security.
Unidentified flying object
coming in from the west.
I'm not here to hurt you and
your weapons can't harm me.
Who are you?
I'm called Superboy.
I fight for truth, justice
and the American way.
(Lana)
Help!
[Lana screaming]
Good luck with the shuttle.
Hey! Hey, he's getting away.
I sure hope he's one of us.
Okay.
Hey, what is that?
I don't know but let's
get out of here.
Move it. Move it!
We're full throttle.
He's after us!
No. He's after you.
Not anymore.
[Lana screaming]
[screaming continues]
Hey, Roscoe. You were right.
Whatever it is, he's going
after her instead of us.
[laughing]
You didn't want me
to bring her along.
[screaming]
Easy now.
Whoever you are, wherever
you came from, thank you.
- I'm so scared.
- That makes two of us.
(Lana)
T.J.?
- Lana?
- Up here, T.J.
You're alright.
You can let go now.
Hello, T.J. White.
Shuster University,
secret department of journalism.
Can I get an interview, sir?
Nice to see you there, Lana.
Who are you?
How do you fly?
- Are there others like you?
- Excuse me will you?
Hey, wait. They're murderers
and they got the laser gun.
What..
Lana, w-where is it
he comes from?
Up there.
Isn't he wonderful?
Who-who is he? I mean,
d-does he have a name?
He said he's
called Superboy.
Yeah, he reminds me
of somebody.
He's back!
[chuckling]
I don't believe this guy!
[crackling]
Give it full throttle!
Get us outta here!
[siren wailing]
Wow!
[applauding]
- Here you go.
- Thanks.
- Hey, guys.
- Hey, Clark. Look!
Lana. She's okay.
You would not believe
what happened to me.
- Sure, I will.
- You wouldn't.
You missed the whole thing.
There's this guy, and he flies.
- No kidding.
- Yeah.
And he's so incredible
and amazing andso unreal.
- I'm sure he is.
- I think you forgot awesome.
I did.
[laughing]
[theme music]
Captioned by Grant Brown