The Boys Presents: Diabolical (2022) s01e05 Episode Script
BFFs
- [LOW, RHYTHMIC BREATHING]
- [SIREN WAILING IN DISTANCE]
[FARTS]
[PASSING HORN HONKING]
[LOUD CRASH]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
Guys? M-Maybe we should just go.
This doesn't feel
like a good idea.
Shut the fuck up, Sky!
I swear,
you are such a wet tampon.
Like, why are you even here?
Because you-you remember
you wanted to use my phone
- to order drugs?
- And?
Because I just moved here and
I don't have any other friends?
Exactly.
If it wasn't for me and Bree,
you'd still be playing mancala
or watching The Wiggles
like a dumbshit.
- [TIRES SCREECH]
- [LIVELY POP MUSIC PLAYING]
I can fit only one.
My point is, you owe us, Sky.
So I'm gonna need you
to get in the car and get us
- our marijuana.
- Whoa [GRUNTS]
You brought money, right?
Ow.
No, no, no! Front seat!
[TIRES SQUEAL]
[♪♪♪]
Um, I, uh, I would love
one $20 marijuana bag,
uh, and yeah, that's about it.
Huh.
What your name is?
Um Sky.
How do you feel
about the ocean, Kyle?
The ocean?
Uh, well, I, you know,
I don't really like the beach
too much.
- Um, sand gets in my butthole.
- Motherfucker! He found me!
- [YELLING]
- [SKY SCREAMS]
SKY: Whoa
[DRUG DEALER YELLING]
[DISTORTED SCREAMING, YELLING]
[GRUNTS]
[GRUNTS]
[CAR ALARM BLARING IN DISTANCE]
Ow.
[GASPS]
DRUG DEALER: Shit! Shit! Shit!
Fucking fish!
They'll tell him everything!
Fuck!
[TIRES SQUEAL]
[TIRES SCREECH]
Here. Go. Get the fuck out.
Fuck off! Fuck you! Go!
- [TIRES SQUEAL]
- [COUGHING]
Guys, guys, guys, guys.
Get this.
Bree?
Tiffany?
Guys?
[♪♪♪]
TIFFANY: We're supposed to smoke the stems, right?
My cousin says they're the best.
They got, like,
extra marijuana in them.
- [BREE COUGHING]
- TIFFANY: Give it here.
- Don't take it all.
- Guys, I have to tell you something.
If you have to poop, just go
to the backyard like last time.
No, it's not it's not that.
Check this out.
It's V. Compound V.
Like on the news.
The It
it gives you superpowers.
[LAUGHING]
Sky, we're not doing
your liquid meth.
Just hurry up
and take a hit of the joint.
Oh, man, I'm fi I'm good.
Take a hit, loser!
[HOLDING BREATH]
Oh, it's great.
[HARSH COUGHING]
[CONTINUES COUGHING]
Okay.
[♪♪♪]
[SIGHS]
They're right.
No way this is V.
Fuck it.
Oh. Ew.
[CLEARS THROAT]
[EXHALES]
Oh, man.
I real I really hope
that wasn't meth.
[SNORING]
[FARTS, SIGHS]
- [HIGH-PITCHED VOICE] Hello?
- [GASPS] Oh. Oh. Who's there?
- Help! Get me out of here.
- What?! H-How?
- On the count of seven you need to push.
- Why seven?
One seven!
[GRUNTS, FARTS]
[HIGH-PITCHED GRUNTING]
What the?
- Aah! Aah! Whoa! Whoa!
- [HIGH-PITCHED SCREAMING]
- Whoa!
- Whoa!
Oh, wow.
This-this can't be happening.
- This-this actually can't be happening.
- This can't be happening.
How'd I get here?
Who am I?
Hey, I ate that marble
when I was a kid.
I never saw it come out. Wait.
Is that is that corn?
[GASPS]
BOTH: Junior high school.
BOTH: Rachel Weiner's Mexican-themed bat mitzvah.
It was the first time I had elote,
and then I farted
while doing "Cotton-Eyed Joe"
and blamed Alyssa Kirkwood
because she was six eight.
But you knew that.
It's like we're
BOTH: Connected.
DRUG DEALER: Please!
I swear I don't have the V!
The kid, Kyle,
she had the body type of Snoopy.
I swear, she took it.
How do I find her?
- I don't know.
- No, you don't seem to understand.
This is how I convince Vought
to finally put me back
in The Seven.
- So I'm pretty fucking motivated to find this V right now.
- [ROARS]
She phoned me! For drugs!
[THE DEEP] Oh-ho!
Thanks for the help.
Do whatever you want.
Oh. Thank you.
I wasn't talking to you.
Oh.
[ECHOING]
Aah!
[YELLING]
[SINGING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE]
[SIGHS]
- What's wrong?
- It's just
I hate the way I look.
I wish I was pretty, like you.
Like me?
Well well, I think
you look really beautiful.
Thank you.
Maybe tomorrow we can,
um, do a soft wave.
I would love to do
a soft wave on you.
[GASPS] By the way,
um, do you have a name?
[GASPS]
I don't think so, no.
What name would you give me?
Well, my mom's name
was Georgia, and, uh,
I-I always loved that name.
Makes me think of her
when I hear it.
Wow. But would it be okay
if I named myself Areola
instead of Georgia,
'cause I feel like Georgia,
I I just think
it sounds like shit.
Oh, yeah. Oh, for sure, yeah.
I 'Cause I love that name
as well, too. It's so
Thanks. Thank you.
It's an homage to my, uh,
Italian heritage.
So, do you have superpowers
of any kind?
Because I-I certainly
didn't get any.
I think I have one, yeah.
What-what do you think?
Oh, wow, I think that Wow.
But not sure
if that's a superpower.
Here, I want you
to watch it again.
[♪♪♪]
[SNORING]
[THUMP IN DISTANCE]
- [WHISPERS] Areola, did you hear something?
- [YAWNS]
I don't have ears, Sky.
- Then how do you
- What?
Aah!
What's up, Kyle?
[SHRIEKS]
What the fuck is that?
SKY: Where's Areola?
And when can I see her?
- Sorry, who?
- Areo My-my turd.
- When can I see my turd?
- Oh, that's not possible, Sky.
It's being studied
in our research lab.
Research lab?
But but she was my friend.
[LAUGHS, CLEARS THROAT]
Look, I understand
this must be so confusing.
Which is why,
on behalf of Vought,
we can offer you this.
$100,000?!
It's $1,000,
but we'll also throw in
this refurbished iPad.
- Whoa.
- All you have to do is walk out of here,
never, ever speak
of this ever again,
and get back to your happy life.
But my life wasn't
so happy before.
Okay, you need to go now.
Bye.
[♪♪♪]
[KISS]
[PANTING]
Fuck.
- [GRUNTS]
- All right!
Areola!
- Sky!
- Come on.
Why'd you let her back in?
[VOUGHT REP]
She said she forgot her inhaler.
[GASPS]
Sky, no!
If they catch you, we'll
never see each other again.
- But
- I promise I will find you.
On the count of seven.
One whoa!
Whoa!
[GRUNTS]
Oh, my God!
Oh, I'm sorry, sir.
I was just here taking a shit.
Okay, okay, okay, okay.
[GRUNTS]
Areola?
Areola?
It's like we're
AREOLA & SKY: Connected.
[SIGHS]
Ow! Ow.
- Sky?
- Areola?
Sky, I didn't know
if you'd come.
Of course I'd come.
That's what friends do.
[SIGHS]
[THE DEEP]
That is the fucking grossest thing
I've ever seen,
and I've seen gross.
Oh, fuck.
It's over, Kyle.
Or Sky.
Hand over the turd.
No, wait.
Put the turd in this bag.
No. She's my friend.
O-Okay, this is
so fucking bananas.
Just do it, okay?
What, are you shitting me?
This is my turf.
Well, not exactly my turf,
because sewer runoff
and overflow into the ocean's
a major problem today.
I don't know if you've heard,
but I've been raising awareness
for this cause.
I've talked to a lot
- [♪♪♪]
- [THE DEEP CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY]
You're powerful, Sky.
You've always been powerful.
Since you took the V, I mean.
I'm not the special one.
You are.
[THE DEEP] you're gonna have
to donate some money
to our giant piggy bank
I created.
I'm gonna break it with a hammer
when it's all full.
What the fuck are you doing?
I'm just asking for help
from a few new friends.
[THE DEEP]
That's your fucking power?
You can control shit?
Well, it's better
than yours, dickface.
Rise up, my turd friends!
[TURDS YELLING]
[YELLING CONTINUES]
Fuckin' turds!
[GAGGING]
[GRUNTS]
Fuck this noise.
I'm out of here.
- Oh, yeah!
- [CHEERING]
[SINGING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE]
Hey, loser.
We're going to hookah,
and we need your debit card.
Sorry, Tiff.
I got plans with friends, bitch.
What in the actual fuck?
[BOTH SCOFF]
TIFFANY: Ew! What the fuck!?
[CHUCKLES]
AREOLA: Right on time
to get beat.
Ah, we'll see about that.
[TURDS SHOUTING, CHATTERING]
[♪♪♪]
[♪♪♪]
- [LOW, RHYTHMIC BREATHING]
- [SIREN WAILING IN DISTANCE]
[FARTS]
[PASSING HORN HONKING]
[LOUD CRASH]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
Guys? M-Maybe we should just go.
This doesn't feel
like a good idea.
Shut the fuck up, Sky!
I swear,
you are such a wet tampon.
Like, why are you even here?
Because you-you remember
you wanted to use my phone
- to order drugs?
- And?
Because I just moved here and
I don't have any other friends?
Exactly.
If it wasn't for me and Bree,
you'd still be playing mancala
or watching The Wiggles
like a dumbshit.
- [TIRES SCREECH]
- [LIVELY POP MUSIC PLAYING]
I can fit only one.
My point is, you owe us, Sky.
So I'm gonna need you
to get in the car and get us
- our marijuana.
- Whoa [GRUNTS]
You brought money, right?
Ow.
No, no, no! Front seat!
[TIRES SQUEAL]
[♪♪♪]
Um, I, uh, I would love
one $20 marijuana bag,
uh, and yeah, that's about it.
Huh.
What your name is?
Um Sky.
How do you feel
about the ocean, Kyle?
The ocean?
Uh, well, I, you know,
I don't really like the beach
too much.
- Um, sand gets in my butthole.
- Motherfucker! He found me!
- [YELLING]
- [SKY SCREAMS]
SKY: Whoa
[DRUG DEALER YELLING]
[DISTORTED SCREAMING, YELLING]
[GRUNTS]
[GRUNTS]
[CAR ALARM BLARING IN DISTANCE]
Ow.
[GASPS]
DRUG DEALER: Shit! Shit! Shit!
Fucking fish!
They'll tell him everything!
Fuck!
[TIRES SQUEAL]
[TIRES SCREECH]
Here. Go. Get the fuck out.
Fuck off! Fuck you! Go!
- [TIRES SQUEAL]
- [COUGHING]
Guys, guys, guys, guys.
Get this.
Bree?
Tiffany?
Guys?
[♪♪♪]
TIFFANY: We're supposed to smoke the stems, right?
My cousin says they're the best.
They got, like,
extra marijuana in them.
- [BREE COUGHING]
- TIFFANY: Give it here.
- Don't take it all.
- Guys, I have to tell you something.
If you have to poop, just go
to the backyard like last time.
No, it's not it's not that.
Check this out.
It's V. Compound V.
Like on the news.
The It
it gives you superpowers.
[LAUGHING]
Sky, we're not doing
your liquid meth.
Just hurry up
and take a hit of the joint.
Oh, man, I'm fi I'm good.
Take a hit, loser!
[HOLDING BREATH]
Oh, it's great.
[HARSH COUGHING]
[CONTINUES COUGHING]
Okay.
[♪♪♪]
[SIGHS]
They're right.
No way this is V.
Fuck it.
Oh. Ew.
[CLEARS THROAT]
[EXHALES]
Oh, man.
I real I really hope
that wasn't meth.
[SNORING]
[FARTS, SIGHS]
- [HIGH-PITCHED VOICE] Hello?
- [GASPS] Oh. Oh. Who's there?
- Help! Get me out of here.
- What?! H-How?
- On the count of seven you need to push.
- Why seven?
One seven!
[GRUNTS, FARTS]
[HIGH-PITCHED GRUNTING]
What the?
- Aah! Aah! Whoa! Whoa!
- [HIGH-PITCHED SCREAMING]
- Whoa!
- Whoa!
Oh, wow.
This-this can't be happening.
- This-this actually can't be happening.
- This can't be happening.
How'd I get here?
Who am I?
Hey, I ate that marble
when I was a kid.
I never saw it come out. Wait.
Is that is that corn?
[GASPS]
BOTH: Junior high school.
BOTH: Rachel Weiner's Mexican-themed bat mitzvah.
It was the first time I had elote,
and then I farted
while doing "Cotton-Eyed Joe"
and blamed Alyssa Kirkwood
because she was six eight.
But you knew that.
It's like we're
BOTH: Connected.
DRUG DEALER: Please!
I swear I don't have the V!
The kid, Kyle,
she had the body type of Snoopy.
I swear, she took it.
How do I find her?
- I don't know.
- No, you don't seem to understand.
This is how I convince Vought
to finally put me back
in The Seven.
- So I'm pretty fucking motivated to find this V right now.
- [ROARS]
She phoned me! For drugs!
[THE DEEP] Oh-ho!
Thanks for the help.
Do whatever you want.
Oh. Thank you.
I wasn't talking to you.
Oh.
[ECHOING]
Aah!
[YELLING]
[SINGING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE]
[SIGHS]
- What's wrong?
- It's just
I hate the way I look.
I wish I was pretty, like you.
Like me?
Well well, I think
you look really beautiful.
Thank you.
Maybe tomorrow we can,
um, do a soft wave.
I would love to do
a soft wave on you.
[GASPS] By the way,
um, do you have a name?
[GASPS]
I don't think so, no.
What name would you give me?
Well, my mom's name
was Georgia, and, uh,
I-I always loved that name.
Makes me think of her
when I hear it.
Wow. But would it be okay
if I named myself Areola
instead of Georgia,
'cause I feel like Georgia,
I I just think
it sounds like shit.
Oh, yeah. Oh, for sure, yeah.
I 'Cause I love that name
as well, too. It's so
Thanks. Thank you.
It's an homage to my, uh,
Italian heritage.
So, do you have superpowers
of any kind?
Because I-I certainly
didn't get any.
I think I have one, yeah.
What-what do you think?
Oh, wow, I think that Wow.
But not sure
if that's a superpower.
Here, I want you
to watch it again.
[♪♪♪]
[SNORING]
[THUMP IN DISTANCE]
- [WHISPERS] Areola, did you hear something?
- [YAWNS]
I don't have ears, Sky.
- Then how do you
- What?
Aah!
What's up, Kyle?
[SHRIEKS]
What the fuck is that?
SKY: Where's Areola?
And when can I see her?
- Sorry, who?
- Areo My-my turd.
- When can I see my turd?
- Oh, that's not possible, Sky.
It's being studied
in our research lab.
Research lab?
But but she was my friend.
[LAUGHS, CLEARS THROAT]
Look, I understand
this must be so confusing.
Which is why,
on behalf of Vought,
we can offer you this.
$100,000?!
It's $1,000,
but we'll also throw in
this refurbished iPad.
- Whoa.
- All you have to do is walk out of here,
never, ever speak
of this ever again,
and get back to your happy life.
But my life wasn't
so happy before.
Okay, you need to go now.
Bye.
[♪♪♪]
[KISS]
[PANTING]
Fuck.
- [GRUNTS]
- All right!
Areola!
- Sky!
- Come on.
Why'd you let her back in?
[VOUGHT REP]
She said she forgot her inhaler.
[GASPS]
Sky, no!
If they catch you, we'll
never see each other again.
- But
- I promise I will find you.
On the count of seven.
One whoa!
Whoa!
[GRUNTS]
Oh, my God!
Oh, I'm sorry, sir.
I was just here taking a shit.
Okay, okay, okay, okay.
[GRUNTS]
Areola?
Areola?
It's like we're
AREOLA & SKY: Connected.
[SIGHS]
Ow! Ow.
- Sky?
- Areola?
Sky, I didn't know
if you'd come.
Of course I'd come.
That's what friends do.
[SIGHS]
[THE DEEP]
That is the fucking grossest thing
I've ever seen,
and I've seen gross.
Oh, fuck.
It's over, Kyle.
Or Sky.
Hand over the turd.
No, wait.
Put the turd in this bag.
No. She's my friend.
O-Okay, this is
so fucking bananas.
Just do it, okay?
What, are you shitting me?
This is my turf.
Well, not exactly my turf,
because sewer runoff
and overflow into the ocean's
a major problem today.
I don't know if you've heard,
but I've been raising awareness
for this cause.
I've talked to a lot
- [♪♪♪]
- [THE DEEP CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY]
You're powerful, Sky.
You've always been powerful.
Since you took the V, I mean.
I'm not the special one.
You are.
[THE DEEP] you're gonna have
to donate some money
to our giant piggy bank
I created.
I'm gonna break it with a hammer
when it's all full.
What the fuck are you doing?
I'm just asking for help
from a few new friends.
[THE DEEP]
That's your fucking power?
You can control shit?
Well, it's better
than yours, dickface.
Rise up, my turd friends!
[TURDS YELLING]
[YELLING CONTINUES]
Fuckin' turds!
[GAGGING]
[GRUNTS]
Fuck this noise.
I'm out of here.
- Oh, yeah!
- [CHEERING]
[SINGING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE]
Hey, loser.
We're going to hookah,
and we need your debit card.
Sorry, Tiff.
I got plans with friends, bitch.
What in the actual fuck?
[BOTH SCOFF]
TIFFANY: Ew! What the fuck!?
[CHUCKLES]
AREOLA: Right on time
to get beat.
Ah, we'll see about that.
[TURDS SHOUTING, CHATTERING]
[♪♪♪]
[♪♪♪]