The Chair (2021) s01e05 Episode Script

[Larson] Did you at any point
threaten Bill's TA?
What? No. Where is this coming from?
Did you say she could get hurt
if she talked to the student newspaper?
No.
[inhales] I mean, I, I
I I mentioned that the
the department could get hurt if we
Pembroke Daily is running an article
suggesting you issued a gag order.
I would never do that.
Did you have a conversation with Bill's TA
in which you asked her
not to discuss Bill's incident?
I can try to kill the story
if it's inaccurate.
I
That is certainly
not what I meant to convey.
Students are already mobilized,
and we're concerned that this
is going to exacerbate things on campus.
We would like you to make
some kind of statement.
Okay.
I mean I mean, yes.
I've drafted a letter
from both you and Dean Larson
alerting Professor Dobson
that next week's hearing
will be on termination for cause.
It's no longer a disciplinary hearing.
What about due process?
In order to fire a tenured professor,
don't you have
Tenure is not a blank check anymore.
Particularly in this climate.
And we heard about him lecturing hungover
and showing nude photos in class.
- Or nude videos, I think it was.
- Videos.
- That was
- Getting rides from female students.
That happened once.
- Which one?
- All of them.
- I realize that's not a great defense.
- So you knew about him with a coed?
I mean, did she complain?
- Really? She shouldn't have to.
- No, no, she shouldn't have to.
His wife died a year ago.
Are you two involved?
If I were a man, would you ask me that?
The three of you left campus yesterday
in the same car.
Only because his was in the shop.
If you are romantically involved,
you need to declare it,
or you yourself
are in violation of university policy.
Another option would be
for you to step down as chair.
My defending Professor Dobson
has nothing to do
with my feelings for him,
which are entirely platonic
and professional.
I have a responsibility to protect my
You have a responsibility
to this institution,
to prevent issues like this
from spinning out of control.
You've managed to do the opposite.
Sign here, if you would.
Call me when you get this.
We need to talk. It's urgent. And
it's pretty bad for both of us.
Anyway, I have to go to this meeting,
and I'm gonna drop
something off to you, so just
Please call me immediately
when you get this. Call me.
You better call me.
["Stakes Avenue" by Love as Laughter
playing on headphones]
[Ju Ju] Who's David Duchovny?
[Ji-Yoon] Nobody.
I just have to give this to Bill.
- Stay here.
- I have to tell him something now.
I told you it can't happen today.
I have to tell him something
for Día de los Muertos!
[banging on door]
Bill? I have to give you something.
Bill?
[exhales]
His wife's soul won't know where to go.
- She will.
- She won't be able to find him.
Yes, she will, Ju Ju.
You don't know anything
about Día de los Muertos.
You don't know anything about my heritage!
Puta.
[pulls handbrake]
Guess what?
The reason you know the word puta
is because I'm giving you Spanish lessons.
And the reason
we're going to Oaxaca this summer
is because some of your ancestors
are from there.
Ava's going to Disneyland.
Duly fucking noted.
["It's a Good Day (To Fight the System)"
by Shungudzo playing]
[groans]
I woke up feelin' great ♪
The birds are in the trees ♪
They're singin' me a melody ♪
La-la-la-la, fuck the police ♪
My head is on straight ♪
My heart is in peace ♪
My soul is incredibly ♪
Ready to change history ♪
It's a good day ♪
To fight the system ♪
To fight the system ♪
It's a good, good, good day ♪
Yes, a good, good ♪
[door closes]
[in Korean] You're early.
[sighs] Yes, we
[in English] There was a mishap at Bill's.
Here's her stuff. I'll be back later.
[in Korean] When are you coming back?
I'm not sure.
Minji only has a first birthday once.
Everyone complains how they never see you.
[in English] Appa, I don't know what
you want me to do. This is for my job.
[in Korean] I thought this promotion means
you don't have to work so much.
[in English] What promotion ever means
you don't have to work as much?
[breathes deeply]
Baby, for God's sakes, just be good
and do what halahbojee says, okay?
[in Korean] How can she do what I tell her
when she doesn't speak Korean?
[in English] Appa, you can speak English.
And she understands more than you think.
Here.
[in Korean] See you later. I love you.
[in English] You understand, right?
[in Korean] I love you, Ju Ju.
[sighs]
She's mad at me because she was supposed
to work on her Mexico presentation
this morning with Bill.
[in English, sighing] She's mad at me
for bringing her here instead.
[Habi] Mexico?
[in Korean] For homework.
[in English] She's cultural ambassador
for for Día de los Muertos.
It's a Mexican tradition.
Never mind.
I'm in the backseat swinging
Easy living ♪
Zooming off ♪
Heads up, Hitler!
- [laughing]
- [tires screeching]
Making riches kids dream of ♪
[pills hitting the ground]
[music continues]
[doorbell rings]
[knocking on door]
Hello?
Mr. Duchovny?
Hello?
[water splashing]
David?
Hello?
[water splashing]
What the fuck?
Hey.
Hi. Hi.
[gasps]
[exhales]
I didn't know anybody was here. [spits]
[exhales] Ji-Yoon?
Yeah.
The, uh The door was open.
Do you always leave your door open?
Never had a problem before.
That's why I love it here.
Nobody bothers you.
Oh my God!
[David] Oh.
You okay? [exhales sharply]
Yeah, sorry, I
For a second, I thought you were naked.
Oh.
Interesting.
[car approaching]
Bill! Bill! Bill!
- Hey.
- What are you doing?
Going to McDonald's.
What are you guys doing here?
We're going to Minji's birthday party.
- Who's Minji?
- [Ju Ju] She's my second cousin.
Habi, can Bill come?
- No, no.
- Please?
Yeah, I'm on a tight schedule.
[smacks lips]
Will there be cake?
You left this at the copier.
Uh, you're not supposed to read this.
I only glanced at the first few sentences
to see what it was.
It's against the rules.
Okay, let's move on from the argument
about whether or not
I should've looked at it,
and just get to the real argument here.
I'm all ears.
[inhales deeply]
Never mind.
I offered a positive assessment
of your scholarship.
The P&T committee doesn't buy it
when I don't express
any reservations whatsoever.
So believe it or not,
I'm I'm trying to help you.
- [laughing] Help me?
- [Rentz] Yeah.
- You're helping me?
- Yes.
Ji-Yoon came to me
and begged me to co-teach with you
because your enrollments were so low.
- What?
- [Yaz] You were on a list.
They were gonna force you to retire.
So she merged us so that
you could piggyback on my enrollments.
What list?
You're lecturing to an empty hall.
Because I don't pander to my students.
- Nobody wants what you're selling.
- I'm not a salesman.
You're not a professor either,
'cause you don't have any students.
John?
- John!
- [gasps]
Have you heard about a list?
All us dinosaurs, they're targeting us,
trying to force us into retirement.
We gotta band together.
There's strength in numbers.
We're still in our intellectual prime
and have plenty to offer.
[farts]
Was that you or me?
For the Distinguished Lectureship,
I was thinking of presenting
my Yale dissertation.
"The Schizophrenic Critique
of Pure Reason in Beckett's Early Novels."
I only wrote the one chapter.
Well, that's that's a hell of a chapter.
Did you use really big font?
Nope.
I got sidetracked for a few decades,
but I've I've been thinking recently
about finishing it and filing for my PhD.
Dr. David Duchovny.
Maybe too much alliteration.
Do you think it's unfair
for people to start thinking of me
as Dr. David Duchovny
after thinking of me
as just David Duchovny for so many years?
Um
Anyway, take a gander.
I reread it last night. It's
It's pretty good. Prescient, even.
Prescient? Really?
I think it's pronounced "prescient,"
unless we're English.
Aren't we speaking English?
I mean, maybe you chose
the wrong department.
Maybe you're better suited
for the schiences.
Oh, and I I don't say that
because you're Asian.
I mean, I don't even know
that you are Asian.
And I don't see color,
or ethnicity,
or even faces at this point.
I just see vibe, an aura.
And yours is lovely.
[sighs]
- I'm gonna make a schmoothie.
- [laughs]
- Would you like a schmoothie?
- No, thank you.
[David] Have you been
to the farmers' market here?
No.
[David] Ah. I used to think
this town was devoid of culture,
but I stand corrected.
I mean, look look at that carrot.
Anyway, pretend I'm not here.
[juicer whirring]
[upbeat dance music playing]
[clicking]
[indistinct chatter]
[woman 1 speaking indistinctly]
Hi.
Hi.
[in Korean] It's like
a Frankenstein family.
Why didn't she adopt a baby
from South Korea?
[in English] Hi.
[woman 2 speaking Korean] You can only
adopt from South Korea if you're married.
She was closed out
from international adoption
because she's single.
Please, Madonna's single
and she was able to adopt.
Angelina Jolie too.
[Korean pop music playing]
[Ju Ju] Bill! It's not time for cake yet!
- [grunts]
- How much longer?
Stay here for a sec.
I'm trading Pokémon cards.
- Hey. Sit. Sit. [coughs]
- Hi.
[man] Korean earmuffs.
Excuse me?
When children are screaming
- What screaming?
- [both laugh]
- Hold with two hands.
- Uh-huh.
- Turn your head away.
- [laughs]
You don't make eye contact
or drink in front of another.
- Okay.
- Okay? Like this.
Okay.
- Gun bae.
- Gum bae.
Gun bae.
[man chuckles]
- [chuckles]
- "Gun" or "gum?"
- Gun.
- Gun.
Gun bae.
- Gun bae.
- [chuckles]
I I can't just catch you up
with a quick tutorial.
Why not?
Because that's an insane request.
This is over 30 years old.
- A lot has happened in the last 30 years.
- Like what?
Like affect theory, ecocriticism,
digital humanities,
new materialism, book history,
developments in gender studies
and critical race theory.
When's the last time
you picked up an academic journal?
I I've been on tour with my band.
- So
- Hmm. It shows.
And you know what else?
The fact that you're using
this honor from Pembroke
to dust off your dissertation
and go back and get your PhD,
it's it's self-serving.
Whoa. Is Is this hostility
because Pembroke
is like this lower-tier Ivy,
and I went to Princeton?
- No. Okay
- And Yale?
No. no. My God, no. This is hostility
because I promised
this Distinguished Lectureship
to someone who deserves it.
The purpose of the talk is to present
cutting-edge scholarship,
and this reads like it's out of
the mid-'80s. I mean, like, the
The discipline has moved forward,
and you're still stuck
back in a different era.
[sighs]
[groans]
I just need a minute.
- Here, can I maybe
- No.
[laughing]
[in Korean] I think
that's Ji-Yoon's boyfriend.
Peter Seung?
No, it's been so long since they broke up.
He's in Michigan now.
I'm knitting him this sweater.
Look at his face. He's a white man.
[men laughing]
Oh, I see.
Habi said they picked him up
off the street.
That makes sense. He looks messy.
[sighs]
[inhales deeply]
[guitar playing]
[David singing indistinctly]
When I come back, if I come back ♪
I swear that I'll be simpler ♪
When I come back, if I come back ♪
I'll have a mind of winter ♪
I'll have a mind of winter ♪
I'll have a mind of winter ♪
Only song I've ever heard
quote Wallace Stevens.
Fuck, I hope so.
You have a good voice.
Mmm.
Was there someone else before me?
A celebrity author?
Did Pembroke offer this position
to someone else first?
It's all right, I can take it.
There was talk of James Franco
a while back.
Ugh.
- Well, he got his PhD from Yale.
- Oh, did he?
- Oh, he got it? Oh.
- Yeah. Yes, he He did. He did.
They might've invited Ethan Hawke,
but he was shooting in Bulgaria.
What was he shootin'?
- [Ji-Yoon] Pardon me?
- In Bulgaria.
Well, a movie or a TV series?
Well, I I don't know
what he was shooting.
- There's a lot of shootin' in Bulgaria.
- Okay.
[exhales]
Look, so I did all that work at Yale
on Beckett, right?
But I I figure I'll just stick with that
and then [exhales]
Let's take a swim.
Oh, I don't have a bathing suit.
Well, you can borrow one.
Here, borrow this one.
Um, whose Who Who wore that?
Oh, it's mine. It's a speedsuit.
I wear it when I wanna swim for time.
Skin's a drag, you know, 'cause of hair.
You can't only teach Beckett
for the rest of the semester.
Why not?
You got Murphy, Molloy, Malone Dies
- The students bought the other books.
- So I'll reimburse them.
I'm a grossly overpaid
actor/musician/novelist,
and they're students
burdened with student debt.
- I will unburden them.
- No, the syllabus is a contract with them.
- You can't change the reading
- Let's go for a swim.
Okay, you know what? Teaching is not
a pastime, it's a profession.
If you really wanna make
a contribution to the field,
tell them you've changed your mind.
And give them a check
to endow a chair in your name,
and I'll get you an honorary doctorate.
The David Duchovny Chair
in English Studies?
The Dr. David Duchovny Chair
in English Studies.
[indistinct chatter]
What's this?
The main event.
Doljabi ceremony.
Minji picks her future.
She's only one.
Oh, she she's very smart.
She can make a clear decision now.
What's all this?
[Ju Ju] A stethoscope for a doctor,
a pencil for a teacher,
paintbrush for an artist,
money for being rich,
a tennis ball for an athlete,
and a white string for long life.
I would pick the string
so I could live a long, long, long time.
What about you?
I can only pick one?
Uh-huh.
[people shouting excitedly]
[Habi] You're beautiful.
[all cheering, applauding]
[Ju Ju] Go, go, go!
Go!
- Beautiful.
- Go! Go, cutie!
- [Habi] Let's go, Minji.
- [man] Best of luck!
[excited chatter]
[all cheering]
[laughing]
Minji, get the string!
The string! The string!
- [Habi] Let's go, Minji.
- [man 1] That's the one!
- [people laughing]
- So close.
- [man 2] Let's go, Minji.
- [people] Oh!
[Habi] Oh!
- [cheering]
- You can't do that.
[Habi] Get the money.
This isn't authentic. She's clearly
tampering with the process right now.
Let her make her own choice.
- [all cheering]
- Great. Great.
[all cheering]
That lady right there, she rigged it.
This lady rigg She rigged the process.
She She wanted the paintbrush. Here.
Hey, hey, mama. You can have this.
- Don't listen to them.
- [man] Hey.
- Hey.
- Hold on, hold on.
She wanted the paintbrush. Oh!
[woman] Oh!
- [people] Oh!
- [grunts]
[somber music playing]
[Joan] This is one of the few professions
where you get more respect
as you get older.
I mean, one of the reasons
I went into this
was that you don't age out.
I I never thought I'd retire.
As long as you're not out of it.
- Sixty-one.
- Oh, Jesus.
- That's low.
- You got your glucose tablets?
- Where are they?
- [Joan] Hang on. [sighs]
- You get older
- [Rentz] I don't see them.
you accumulate more wisdom,
you garner more respect.
I, um
I've been, uh
I've been here for what, 32 years,
was chair for six of those,
and nothing like this ever happened.
A lifetime of doing this,
and I get nothing.
Well, she wanted me to doctor
my tenure letter for Yaz
in exchange for co-teacher.
I get put on a list.
What about Bob? I mean, what about Bill?
What about Bill?
[chuckling] I can't take you seriously
when you look like you just stuck
your head in a beehive. Here.
Bill's not on this list.
No, Bill, everybody knows
she's in love with him.
Now, if one of us had stepped out of line,
she would not be
going to the mat like this.
Mmm. Well, we elected her.
Her job is to represent our interests.
- She's only protected his.
- We gotta do something.
Like what?
[scoffs] You wanna stage a coup?
Done some good and done some bad like ♪
Any man I bet ♪
A man of words is a man of lies ♪
But words is all I get ♪
I've got great news. David Duchovny's
not giving the Distinguished Lectureship,
you are.
[sighs]
What's wrong?
I already agreed
to give it somewhere else.
Where?
- Yale.
- Holy shit, that's great.
It's also a job talk.
They've invited me
to apply for a position.
Why didn't you tell me?
[breathes deeply]
Look, I know it's been a mess around here.
I I mean, I've been a mess. [inhales]
You act like you owe them something.
Like you're here
because they let you be here,
not because you deserve it.
I mean, what are they
without us at this point?
- A name and a pile of bricks.
- A shit ton of money.
Seeded by benefactors
who got rich off of sugar
and cotton and railroads.
Off the backs of Black people
and yellow people.
- And, yes, that includes Yale.
- Yale's different?
You should be running this place.
Instead,
you're running around playing nice.
You think that's how I got here?
By playing nice?
Is that how you think I fucking got here?
No.
You are gonna be the first tenured
Black woman in the department.
[scoffs]
That's why I'm leaving.
[sighs]
Pembroke said and did
all the right things to keep me here.
But you know the real reason I stayed?
It was because of Joan,
and Bill,
and this dazzling new hire named Yaz.
Fucking Yale.
[chuckles]
You know what New Haven's ranking is
on WalletHub's list
of best college towns in America?
A hundred and ninety-eight.
A couple notches below
Fargo, North Dakota.
What are we?
I don't know. I'll have to ask my dad.
[chuckles softly]
What are they offering?
[inhales deeply]
Expedited tenure
and an endowed professorship.
And a shit ton of money.
We can beat that.
[inhales deeply]
I think.
I'm getting a little bit full,
but I love It's wonderful.
Uh, Mr. Kim, thank thank you all
for helping clean up.
You didn't have to do that.
But it's nice to see my table.
[Ju Ju] Bill, I'm ready.
I need the pizza.
Excuse me a second. Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you.
[sniffles] Excuse me.
[Ju Ju] I need all her favorite things.
[in Korean] How can a grown man
live like this?
- He's a widower.
- Ah.
I'm a widower, and my house is clean.
How long ago did he lose his wife?
It's been about a year.
He works together with Ji-Yoon?
Yes. English professor.
And he wrote a book, maybe two?
[in English] I'm so sorry
about this afternoon.
- Thank you.
- I hope I didn't mess it up.
Okay. Okay.
I couldn't find any pizza,
but I have pizza rolls.
Okay, what do we do?
- We're gonna make a trail.
- Okay.
[Ju Ju] Let's put them far apart
so that she can smell it.
[woman in Korean] If only there were
a good Korean woman in his life.
What about Ji-Yoon?
He has a good job.
Not bad-looking if he'd only shave.
And he's good with kids.
They say he's a drug addict and he drinks.
You want Ji-Yoon to bring
a drug addict alcoholic into her life?
- She's turning 50 soon.
- [sighs]
- Maybe this is the last bus in town.
- [sighs]
[phone dings]
[in English] We have to go.
Ju Ju, your mom got home early.
She's gonna find you.
Bye.
Wait. I have a question.
- Not for you, you goof, for your grandpa.
- [Ju Ju] Habi?
Um, what did Ji-Yoon pick
for her Dol ceremony?
Do you remember?
Yeah, she picked a pencil.
Teacher.
She go straight there.
No one can stop her.
["Calling All Angels"
by Done Again playing]
[sighs]
Then it's one foot then the other ♪
As you step out onto the road ♪
Step out onto the road ♪
How much weight? ♪
How much? ♪
Then it's how long? And how far?
And how many times ♪
Oh, before it's too late? ♪
Calling all angels ♪
Calling all angels ♪
Walk me through this one ♪
Don't leave me alone ♪
Calling all angels ♪
Calling all angels ♪
We're tryin', we're hopin' ♪
But we're not sure how ♪
Oh, and every day
You gaze upon the sunset ♪
With such love and intensity ♪
Why, it's, uh, it's almost as if ♪
You could only crack the code ♪
Then you'd finally understand
What this all means ♪
Ah, but if you could
Do you think you would ♪
Trade in all, all the pain ♪
And suffering? ♪
Ah, but then you'd miss
The beauty of the light upon this earth ♪
And the
And the sweetness of the leaving ♪
Calling all angels ♪
Calling all angels ♪
Walk me through this one ♪
Don't leave me alone ♪
Calling all angels ♪