The Class s01e05 Episode Script

If you missed The Class, here's what you missed.
Kyle broke the news to Holly, that her daughter didn't get into the school where he teaches.
This is devastating.
But the truth was he just thought Holly would be too annoying to have around.
Oh, my God.
Dealing with Holly every day? - So you lied? - Yeah.
And I pulled her application.
Richie and Lina had a wonderful date.
I don't deserve you.
And here's why he doesn't deserve her.
Where were you? I had to work a double shift.
Just go back to sleep.
And that's all you need to know.
Hey! Hey! Hey! There's a rat in the refrigerator.
Is it dead? Well, it didn't move when I poked it with your toothbrush.
So what do we do? Call a rat guy? What are you, an idiot? We can't afford a rat guy.
You're not aging well.
I have to say, I didn't see that one coming.
I gotta get to work.
So what do you want me to do? Oh, I don't know.
You could get up your freckly ass and clean out the refrigerator.
Idiot.
You complete me.
So, which little box do they keep you in? That one, over there.
Hey, where's the guy who has all the affairs? Would you shh? Thanks again for bringing me up.
Yeah.
Call me if you need me.
Okay.
I'll be fine.
Oh, post-its.
Scott Gordon's office.
/Hello, could you connect me /to Human Resources? Are you kidding? I don't even know how I'm gonna hang up.
Oprah Mommy and daddy have some very sad news.
You remember that school we went to visit? Pennbridge Academy? Well, I'm afraid you won't be going there.
Okay.
Do you understand what mommy's saying? Yeah.
- I don't think she's getting this.
- I think she's just being strong.
She is our little candle in the wind.
Give me a taste of the French Vanilla.
I usually get chocolate sprinkles.
Today I may go rainbow.
It's exciting going behind the scenes of your order.
Mmh Let me try the peach.
So three samples, huh? That's good, you wouldn't wanna make a crucial yogurt error.
I'll try the banana.
So four tastes, huh? Maybe they could shut this place down for an hour, so you could really do this right.
So, what can I get you? I don't know.
I'm not sure yet, you know? I think I gotta try a taste of the pistachio.
It's funny.
I'm just trying to remember a time when you weren't tasting yogurt.
Ready to order yet? You know what? I'm good.
Thanks again for the ramps.
Yeah, no problem.
Ramps are like the first thing I ever built.
- No kidding? - Yeah.
I built one so my brother could jump his bike off the garage.
And then, right after that, I learned how to build the wheelchair kind.
Well, these are gonna help her a lot.
So You and Lina Warbler, huh? Yeah.
Gosh, she's amazing.
There's like, no bad in her.
Wow, I like a little bad.
Anyway, I'm all done.
- Great, here.
- Oh, thanks.
Would you mind not cashing that right away? Yeah, sure.
How long you want me to wait? Let's see, today's Monday So I'm thinking March.
Are you okay, man? Yeah, yeah.
I'm just-- I'm in debt.
And I've got this awful job.
Really? I thought you were like a scientist.
I was.
Now I drive toxic waste to a landfill in New Jersey.
Huh.
Maybe you'll end up with super powers.
Sure.
Look, up in the sky.
It's a tumor.
You know what? I just started this great job.
If you want, you can come work with me.
Oh, I-- I don't-- - You ever do construction? - No.
- Are you good with tools? - No.
- Are you good with your hands - No.
- Do you like driving toxic waste? - No.
Meet me half way.
I'm just trying to help here.
Okay, I'll do it.
Great.
Got your own tools? I've got a Bunsen burner.
Strap that bad boy to your belt.
I'll see you tomorrow.
/Lina, can you bring me /the Brenan file, please? Brenan file.
Coming right up.
/How are we coming /out there? Just a second.
Stupid-- Brenan, yes! Hey.
What are you doing here? Okay, Perry and I decided we are just not ready to give up on getting Oprah in here.
So I have an appointment with the headmaster.
Oh, I don't think that's the way to go.
Once the headmaster makes his mind up Oh, really? Let's see what he says when I tell him Channel 9 might be doing an exposé on the horrors of private schools.
What are the horrors? Please, it's local news.
We just make stuff up.
Okay, look.
I don't think you're gonna be able to intimidate the headmaster.
Well, can't hurt to try.
Holly, wait! What? Uh Sit here, sit down.
You know when I told you that we couldn't get Oprah in here, because of the school's diversity policy? Yeah.
Well, uh I kind of made that up.
But why? Okay, see, if Oprah were to be here every day, then you'd be here every day.
Uh-huh.
Um, see, if you were here every day, then I thought that that might make things difficult for me, because Oh.
God.
Do you still have feelings for me? Yes.
Who eats a bunch of samples and then walks away? It's just wrong.
Come on, people do it all the time.
Uh, I don't.
Yeah, of course you don't.
You couldn't.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Did you just call me out over my inability to ask for yogurt samples? Uh-huh.
You couldn't do it, 'cause you care too much what other people think.
You need to be liked too much.
I do not.
It's okay.
It's cute.
Screw you.
Aw.
Still cute.
Like a cartoon deer.
Fine.
Tomorrow we will come back and I will ask for five yogurt samples.
- Ten.
- Ten? Oh, look at Bambi.
All right.
Ten.
Game on.
Yes, yogurt-tasting game on! This is a nail gun.
It can drive 30 nails per minute straight through concrete.
You sure you don't need me to see if more stuff's level? I'd like to stick with the little bubble in there.
Hey.
Oh, hey, Nicole.
You remember Richie Velch.
He went to school with us.
Weren't you the one who used to carry around the light saber? No, that was Roland Ferber.
Oh, sorry.
It's okay.
People used to beat us up for each other all the time.
Richie's gonna be helping me out here.
Oh, well, great.
It's nice to see you again.
Nice to see-- Apparently it's on.
Okay, you will ask for ten samples.
As there are only nine flavors, you gotta ask for one twice.
There will be no apologizing, and at no time can you explain what you're doing.
You're really having fun, aren't you? It's like Christmas.
All right, ten samples.
Here we go.
What can I get you? Oh, how about a taste of that French Vanilla? Oh, yeah.
It's on.
Honey, I know you're sad.
But Champ's in doggie heaven now.
I know.
I think a little frozen yogurt will make you feel better.
I want chocolate.
Okay.
As soon as this nice man's done.
Awesome.
Oh, he can go in front of me.
Oh, thank you.
Oh, I-- Wait.
Actually he can't go in front of me.
Why not? Cause I don't care what people think.
Let me give you a hand.
Oh! No, no.
I can do everything I did before.
There we go.
Water? No, thank you.
Oh, it was horrible.
Holly was looking at me like, "Why wouldn't you want me at the school?" How could I tell her she's just a giant pain in the ass? I'll do it.
And I should have, I know.
But I didn't.
And now she thinks I have feelings for her.
Do you? Oh, yeah.
I'm all about the chicks now.
Perry.
Well, I am fit to be tied.
And this is just between Kyle and me.
You and I are fine.
Thank God.
So, uh What's up? A little bird told me that you have feelings for my wife.
- Okay, look-- - You know what? I don't care.
I don't care what your feelings are.
That's your problem.
We all have feelings we don't want.
And you know what we do with them? We push them right down.
Look, Perry-- Still my turn.
If I see a beautiful woman on the street, do you think I let it affect me? I'm guessing you don't.
You're darn right, mister.
And what makes this even worse, is that you have a wonderful, wonderful, wonderful fellow right in there.
Okay.
Look, Perry.
You have my word this will never be an issue again.
Well, I hope not.
But that's not why I'm here.
You're a teacher.
You're supposed to put the children first.
And who's the one person who's really getting hurt here? This precious little girl.
You're right.
Oh, wait.
There's a better one.
I hate that sweater.
Uh, let's see.
How about a little taste of the butterscotch? You do know the yogurt's also for sale.
I am aware.
Unbelievable.
They hate you.
Can you feel it? They're trying to kill you with their minds.
Uh, let's try the peanut butter.
Again.
Oh, no! This may take a minute.
I have to get more tiny cups.
Hey, you made it all the way to nine.
I'm very impressed.
Nine? This is ten.
No, I don't think-- French vanilla, chocolate, butterscotch, peanut butter, pumpkin, egg nog, which by the way, is disgusting, banana-fanna, pistachio, peach, and peanut butter number two makes ten, Now, back off! Enjoy.
Okay.
Sir? These costumers have been waiting.
I need you to order.
I can't do it.
What? I have to buy something.
I can't be this much of a jackass.
Yes, you can.
Look how far you've come.
I didn't think you could make it to ten.
I didn't even think you could make it to two.
But you showed me something today.
You showed me that somewhere underneath this sweet, "like me, like me" exterior, there was a man.
A man capable of outrageous insensitivity.
Really? You walked in here a cartoon deer.
But you're walking out a giant jackass.
Now take her home! Okay.
Sir, I need your order.
You know what? I'm good.
What a schmuck.
Well, you better believe it.
So, how was your day? I flooded the office.
Really? I started a small electrical fire.
Hey, I could have put you out.
- Hey.
- Hey.
We're almost done.
So, I'll see you tomorrow.
Actually, Yonk's taking me to New York for the weekend.
Oh, nice.
Yeah.
Remember when I took you for your birthday? I do.
You took me to that French restaurant.
I was a class act.
And you tried to be so sophisticated.
I couldn't believe you ate lamb tongues.
I what? Or chicken.
Let's say chicken.
You're damn right it was chicken.
I loved that night.
It's the best birthday ever.
You were so sweet.
Hey, honey.
Yeah, I'm leaving right now.
Okay, I'll see you there.
I love you, too.
I should go.
Have a good one.
/So, can I see you /tonight? Yeah, that'd be great.
Maybe we-- Hang on a second.
Hello.
It's me.
Right.
Looks like I may have to work late tonight.
No, you can't.
I found a cheap rat guy.
You have to let him in.
Oh, and tell him I saw something scurrying on your side of the bed.
It caught my eye, 'cause it's been so long since anything's moved over there.
Got it.
Lina, hey, I'm sorry.
I just remembered I can't tonight, I've got a conflict.
Oh, that's okay.
I'll call you later, all right? Okay, have fun.
Nope, bye.
Are you okay? I've been better.
Yeah, me too.
Did you-- Do you wanna talk about it? I--I can't.
Yeah, I can't talk about my stuff either.
But it's like, there's this thing.
And I want it so much.
But then, there's this other thing that's totally in the way.
I have a thing too.
Do you also have a thing that's in the way? I do have a thing in the way.
- And the thing you want - is incredible.
My thing's incredible too.
There's this other thing.
I hate the other thing.
Wouldn't it be great if, somehow, the other thing, was just gone, and you could be with the thing that you want? Ah, that'd be amazing.
Yeah.
Just us and our things.
You know, it's-- it's good having you here.
Yeah? Yeah, it's good to almost tell you stuff.
You too.
Honey, someone here to see you.
And he has some news.
Good news! - Hi.
- Hey.
I can't stay long.
Aaron's waiting in the car.
Oh, maybe I'll go say hello.
Listen, I just wanted to apologize again.
Oh.
I also wanted to let you know that I pulled some strings, and I got Oprah into the school.
Are you serious? Yeah.
She's in and she's gonna be in my class.
Oh, my God.
You did that? I did.
Thank you so much.
Oh, God.
Is it weird? Me hugging you? I'm okay.
Really.
I'm sorry, Kyle.
I just don't feel what you feel.
All right, stop, stop, stop.
Listen, I-- Look, I have to tell you the real reason I didn't want you around at the school.
Okay.
It's just that you're one of those moms, you're high maintenance.
And kind of intense, and honestly, I just thought you'd be too much of a pain in the ass to deal with every day.
Okay, if that's what you need me to believe.
No, no.
No, that's really what it is.
It's fine.
You're not attracted to me.
I'm a pain in the ass.
You really can't get over me, can you? No.
So I'm gonna take those feelings and push them right down.
Hello.
Hi, it's me again.
Hey.
I just wanted to make sure you were okay.
You sounded so down before.
No, I'm just-- I'm sad because I'm not gonna see you.
I--I miss you.
Well, I miss you too, and-- Hang on a second.
Excuse me.
Yeah.
I'm so sorry, but I kind of made a mess over there.
You may need a mop.
No problem.
Believe me, I'm in no rush to get home.
I did it! I was a jackass today, a huge jackass! That kid's dog died, and I made him wait.
That kid's dogdied and I made him wait? Oh, my God.
How could I do that in front of all those people? That's right, they all hate you.
Get out of my head!