The Disastrous Life of Saiki K. (2016) s01e05 Episode Script

1
It's 4:00 p.m.
If I leave now, I can make it in time.
There is a show
that I must watch at 5:00 p.m.
It is
Healthy Warrior Specialiser!
It may seem childish,
but anime is
Japan's primary source of entertainment.
I enjoy it myself.
That was close. I should go the other way.
Where did Saiki go?
I found the perfect abandoned building.
I finally completed building
my secret base yesterday.
I need to show Saiki this base too.
Actually, it's our headquarters.
I'll pass.
Where is Saiki?
Saiki helped me out before.
I'd like to return the favor
Muscle!
by inviting him to my gym.
I'll pass.
If you want to return the favor,
leave me alone today.
Where is Saiki?
I don't really care about him,
but the teacher told me
to give him this worksheet.
Well, maybe I'll invite him for tea
and watch him squirm. That could be fun.
I will make him realize
that I am not an illusion!
I'll pass.
Unbelievable.
Today, the finale of that show
Pal! Let's go eat ramen!
I'll pass!
I'm trapped.
Under these conditions,
I cannot exit the school.
ROUTE CANNOT BE CALCULATED
Maybe I should teleport from here.
But my shoes
This is fine.
I still have 30 minutes to spare.
I can wait a little
20 MINUTES LATER
This is bad.
Hairo is at the gates.
I will wait for him.
HAIRO, MR. NEVER GIVE UP
Kaido is at the shoe cubbies.
When he comes to take his shoes,
I will jump out and scare him.
KAIDO, THE OBSERVER
-And
-Hey!
What? Oh, Teruhashi!
Have you seen Saiki?
I have been searching for him.
I just can't seem to find him by myself.
I will help you!
TERUHASHI, THE QUEEN BEE
TAKAHASHI, THE LOYAL SERVAN
Teruhashi and her team have
every corner of the school covered.
I am cornered.
It has become even more difficult
than before.
Watching it later is not an option.
As soon as the show ends,
spoilers will fill the streets.
I can't believe they all died!
Even the hero!
That was great.
It can't be helped. I will use that.
Invisibility.
This power makes me invisible
to the human eye.
And I can also touch objects.
There is one flaw.
The time limit is ten minutes.
Another issue is
that I will be back to normal
when touched by another human.
I must move carefully.
I feel much better now.
But my pal isn't here either.
I almost failed before I even started.
However, I may be lucky
to have located Nendo.
He is the biggest threat
to me when I'm using the power.
I just need to stay vigilant.
Where is that jerk Saiki?
I'm here.
For those of you watching this on TV,
I will show you where I am.
I see. Kaido is in this locker.
What's wrong?
A poltergeist activity!
No, it might be an attack
of the Dark Reunion!
-What are you talking about?
-Damn the Dark Reunion!
Okay. Now is my chance.
What's going on?
What happened? I heard someone screaming.
It's the Dark Reunion! I know it!
Really? I see.
Right.
Thank you for gathering everyone together.
No one will get in my way now. Sorry.
Are you going home now, Saiki?
What?
I'll join you!
You idiot!
-There he is!
-There he is!
Saiki! I'd like to return the favor!
The teacher asked me to give you this!
I found this great abandoned building!
-Are you free now?
-Are you free now?
What?
Teruhashi!
You can really see everything, can't you?
Where are you, Saiki?
PK SPORTS FESTIVAL
It's the sports festival.
Listen up! We have only one goal today!
Victory!
-Yes!
-Yes!
I wanted to stay home today.
No! You need to go!
I bought a video camera just for this!
So I had no choice but to come, and yet
Nice one, honey! Look over here!
Oh, no. The battery ran out.
Just go home!
-Never give up, Class Three!
-Yes!
How long are you going to keep this up?
It's annoying.
Sports festival?
What a joke.
This is one of the rare times
that we agree on something.
By the way, your bandanna is off.
You are just bad at sports.
While this guy's bandanna
fits him perfectly.
Right, he has the perfect space
for a bandanna.
-Saiki!
-Enough.
-I expect big things!
-Don't expect anything.
Nendo!
Your athletic skills are amazing!
I expect big things from you too.
Right! I won't lose to you this time.
You are on the same team, idiot.
Kaido!
Well, do your best.
-What is up with your tone?
-And your bandanna is off.
Don't worry! We can win together!
It will be tough to win this year.
Class One.
Is that how you read that?
They are the smartest ones who always get
the highest scores on exams.
-Let's win!
-Yes!
-Class Two.
-That is two?
The most athletic students
are in that class.
-Let's do this!
-Let's do this!
Class Four.
You read that as four?
They are also a smart group
led by Tanihara, who has the top grades.
-We shall be victorious.
-So there are two smart classes?
-Class Five.
-You read that as five?
They are also a smart group
which 80% of its members wear glasses.
Wearing glasses has nothing
to do with smartness.
The first event
is the men's 100-meter dash.
Good grief. I am up.
-Ku, good luck!
-I'm recording it
and saving it
to the hard drive in my heart.
-Go, Saiki! Win!
-Go!
-Set.
-I don't care about victory.
I want to be average.
I'll go for third place.
I am in second now. I need to slow down.
I run on a daily basis.
I can pace myself.
-Just as I wanted.
-Saiki! Amazing! You came in third!
Why do I get so much praise
for placing third?
Your opponents were all
in the track and field club.
The fourth-place finisher
is a short-distance runner.
-You should join the club!
-Why didn't you tell me that earlier?
Great work, pal!
Well, I am actually faster.
What? He's up next.
Kaido is in the race too.
I am the wind. I am the tempest!
You run in a weird way.
We have two fifth-place finishers.
We need to turn this around!
The next event is the three-legged race
with men and women.
I am up!
No.
It's me. I'm the one
who will participate in the next event.
Who are you?
My name is Sawakita.
My name doesn't matter.
I am just a supporting character.
He started an internal monologue.
I'm not that smart or handsome.
I have lived an average life.
However, one game of rock-paper-scissors
brought light to my world.
A three-legged race with Teruhashi!
This moment shall be the peak
of my entire life.
That is an exaggeration.
Good luck, Sawakita!
"I'm not that smart or handsome.
I have lived an average life.
One game of rock-paper-scissors
brought light to my world.
A three-legged race with Teruhashi!
This shall be the peak of my entire life."
He must be thinking that right now.
Amazing. That was on point.
Can you read minds too?
But you can't let your love weaken you.
-Let's win!
-Okay!
I actually don't like to lose.
If we win, let's celebrate.
Just the two of us, okay?
Get into position.
Go!
Goal!
-How can they run so fast?
-Sawakita and Teruhashi easily won!
-He carried Teruhashi!
-Class Three receives 300 points.
-I'll kill that guy!
-You made the most of your life's peak.
-Teruhashi
-It's time for our comeback.
Let's talk later.
Scavenger hunt!
-Who is doing it?
-You.
Me?
-Good luck! Nendo!
-Lose.
Nendo is fast!
He got the paper first.
That doesn't really matter.
-Borrow what is written on your paper.
-This is easy.
Nice! Is he coming over here?
-Lend me that.
-This?
Not that. This.
-Saiki!
-Saiki!
Keep it together, Saiki!
What? What happened?
I don't know. He suddenly collapsed.
Are you okay? Saiki!
You shouldn't touch him!
-Saiki?
-Saiki!
Hey, pal.
What is that look on your face?
WASA SPACE STATION
What happened?
We don't know.
The main system suddenly stopped.
This has never happened before!
What?
AT THE SAME TIME, UNKNOWN RESEARCH LAB
What is this?
Get me the president now!
Elder! What did you just say?
This world is coming to an end.
-He regained consciousness!
-Are you okay?
He collapsed when that was taken off,
so I put it back on.
Somebody removed it?
-What?
-What happened?
-It started working when I hit it.
-You hit it?
The graph has returned to normal.
Director, the president is on the line!
Never mind. We're fine now.
That was close.
I was out only for a few seconds.
That could have been much worse.
Are you okay, pal?
I never thought Nendo
would remove it though.
I knew he was dangerous.
I will need to get rid of him.
Nendo ends the race in last place.
I lost.
Too bad.
I couldn't stay in the race
since my pal collapsed.
Sorry.
What did you do, Nendo?
The morning events have ended.
-Let's go eat, pal.
-Where did Saiki go?
-Please enjoy Mr. Chono's Magic Show.
-Hey, Saiki!
Pal!
Go, Ku!
This is bad. I can't control my powers.
Even if it was just for a moment,
this device that controls
my powers was removed.
I could use psychic powers since birth,
but they gradually amplified
as I became older.
When I was five,
I could easily lift a condominium.
Then, I could easily destroy the moon.
However, I slowly lost control
of my powers.
I could blow up my house by turning over
in my sleep. That was nothing.
I could recreate the world
with my imagination alone
with my mind control powers.
I could cause something much worse
than a small explosion.
For that reason, I attached this device
to my head to control my powers.
However, it can only control my powers.
It cannot stop my powers from amplifying.
If this device is removed,
even I don't know
what damage my powers can cause.
I currently don't have
control over my powers.
It is dangerous for me to participate
in the afternoon events like this.
I need to leave early.
-Hey, pal.
-This is bad!
I need to go now.
Teleportation!
Pal?
There you are.
No good. I still can't control my powers.
Are you feeling sick?
You should leave early.
I didn't expect to hear that.
-Are you okay, Saiki?
-Will you be okay?
Are you okay, Saiki?
-You shouldn't push yourself.
-Don't worry about us!
We will take your place here.
Leave it to us!
These guys
-Let's win this for Saiki!
-Yes!
Let's give
the championship trophy to Saiki!
It is tougher to leave now.
Thank you, Mr. Chono.
No one was watching.
-We got too cocky after being on TV.
-The first afternoon event is tug-of-war.
Afternoon events are group events.
We may be in last place now, but
He didn't participate
in any of the individual events.
-Let's go, Class Three!
-Yes!
Pull! Clench those teeth!
Give it all you have! We can do it!
Quit talking and pull.
Good grief. I have to participate
in something I hate under this condition.
What? It suddenly feels so light.
-This is bad!
-Now, it's hard to pull!
Why did it snap so easily?
What should I do?
They will find it suspicious.
I need to mend this somehow.
This is bad! The friction tore my gloves.
I have no idea what will happen
if I use psychometry at a time like this.
I guess Class Three won.
-We won!
-Yes!
I should just go home.
I hate the sports festival.
Class Three is amazing!
This is our true power!
Even I am getting excited.
Did you guys eat?
The rope snapped at a point
where I was pulling it. Did I do that?
-Look at them.
-Who are they?
Thankfully,
the others drew all the attention.
Here's the results of the tug-of-war.
Class Two places first,
and Class Three places second.
There are only two more events.
Class Three looks really weak.
It seems like my Class Two
is going to win.
I couldn't care less.
Hey! We are in first!
I really don't care.
-Don't get so close.
-I did place last in that one race.
Why do you say that so proudly?
Don't hate me if our class wins.
I really don't care
about winning or about you.
Sorry. We are the ones who will win!
If we lose, I will shave my head!
Seriously?
I am prepared for anything.
Hey, shut it.
If Hairo is doing it,
we will shave our heads too!
Wait a minute.
I agree. I'm not going to lose.
Why are you so confident of all people?
I will shave my head too.
That may actually be good.
I don't like where this is going.
If we lose, all boys in Class Three
will shave their heads!
-Yes!
-Yes!
I knew it.
-Next is the class ball toss.
-This is our opportunity to win.
-This is our chance!
-Yes!
All classes start at the same time!
What are you doing?
Throw more than one at a time!
Your balls don't even go near the basket.
I will use telekinesis to drop
all the balls into the basket.
This isn't foul play.
There was nothing in the rulebook
about forbidding psychic powers.
Stop throwing the balls.
Class One collected 33 balls.
-Class Two collected 28 balls.
-We're still leading anyway!
-Class Three collected 83 balls.
-Wow! More than double of their balls!
-Did I go too far?
-Class Four collected 100 balls.
We just used our brains, everyone.
What is that bag?
We put all of the balls in a bag.
You can figure out the rest.
We put 100 balls in the basket
with a single toss.
-That's clever.
-Hey, that's not clever.
They just cheated.
Don't say we cheated.
There was nothing in the rulebook
forbidding the use of bags.
Someone should have included it.
There is one more event, the class relay.
First place gets 500 points.
If we place first
and Class Four places last, we can win!
Saiki, I want you to be our anchor!
Things will get messy if I say no.
Well, I will just finish at whatever place
we are when I am handed the baton.
Ready, set
-Go!
-Go!
I can't place last!
At the start of the second leg,
Class Three is in last place!
Sorry!
We are already in last place.
So leave this to me, Kaido!
Still in last place,
Class Three passes its baton!
Nendo of Class Three is fast!
They are now in first place!
He runs in a bizarre way.
Class Three's next runner
is the running goddess, Teruhashi!
Yes. I am good at running too.
After all, I am a perfect beauty.
After this, Class Three
remained in first place.
The baton has been passed to Hairo,
the last runner before Saiki.
Good work, everyone!
I just need to hand this to Saiki!
-What the hell, Hairo?
-Why are you doing this now?
He's flashing his butt again.
I will finish in last place.
-And we will get the lowest points.
-We are going to win.
As long as I don't get caught,
it's okay to trip someone.
That changes things.
It can't be helped.
Sorry, Saiki!
It was that guy who made me do this.
I'll get him back.
-Look at him!
-He is so fast!
Class Three is fast!
They went from last to first place!
Class Four has fallen behind!
Well, I don't want to shave my head.
I suppose this is for the best.
Right. I wasn't in control of my body.
SPORTS FESTIVAL IS OVER
The morning after the sports festival
I am Kusuo Saiki. I have psychic powers.
-Morning, Saiki!
-This is your fault.
-Hey, Saiki!
-You did it too.
-I had a weird dream last night.
-Look at you! You look so funny!
That is unfair.
Good morning!
You didn't shave?
That was only if we lost to Class Two.
We beat them.
-Right.
-Right.
Everyone, we will hold a fire drill today.
A fire drill
I don't need any drills.
Nendo! Don't underestimate
the importance of drills.
For example, during a fire,
you are surrounded by flames.
The smoke blocks your sight,
and you cannot breathe.
What would you do?
It is a difficult situation!
How will you know what to do
in that situation without drills?
Preparation is everything!
He expresses the heat well.
When the emergency bell rings,
follow my instructions to evacuate.
-Okay!
-Okay!
This is a word to keep in mind
when you evacuate.
"Don'ts"?
I believe they were
"Don't push, don't run, don't speak."
That takes me back.
I got it!
"Don't die in the fire"!
Simple is the best.
That is not exactly it.
How about "Don't forget
to bring the fire extinguisher"?
Bring it yourself.
You are as stupid as always.
What? Do you know what they are?
Of course.
"Don't think you can run from my flames!"
Kidding.
They are "Don't push,
don't run, don't speak."
Exactly.
Let's remember the don'ts
when the drill starts.
There's a fire in the science room
on the first floor.
That bell makes me anxious.
This is important.
We need to do this right.
Don't panic!
Take the hoods from your bags
and line up in the order of class number.
-Where is my hood?
-Do we wear these?
Oh, no. I lost my hood.
What?
If it was not a drill,
you would be dead right now!
That's a bit over the top.
-My hood is gone too.
-You too, Teruhashi?
-Use mine! Please!
-Here's mine!
But I can't borrow yours.
Right! What will you all do?
Don't think
-That we won't
-Die for her.
I see.
Don't even ask
because they will sacrifice
their lives for you anyway.
Okay! Let's get started.
Oh, no. I forgot my phone.
Hey, Takahashi!
Don't you dare get out of line!
This is getting extreme.
It seems like everyone is starting
their sentence with "don't."
You two.
Don't fight over trivial things.
I knew something was off.
Hey, Chiyo!
Wait a second!
Don't break up with someone who goes
to the same school. It gets awkward.
That one has nothing to do with the drill.
Don't pine after your ex-girlfriend
if she ignores you.
What is with you two?
We're almost there!
Don't know what to do
when the path to the outside is blocked!
-Don't do this to me.
-Don't tell me that!
Don't tell me we will die here.
Seriously?
We can't go outside now.
Did someone do this by mistake?
No, that's not it.
It was purposely closed off.
This path leads to the science room.
Remember that announcement.
There's a fire in the science room
on the first floor.
The fire is in the science room.
If the fire was real,
we wouldn't be able to use this path.
In other words, they are testing us
to see if we can make the right decision
and go to the rear exit
after listening to the announcement.
Don't panic! There's always a way out.
Way out?
That's it! I finally understand
why this path is closed.
Good grief. He finally gets it.
We are being tested.
This is an obstacle.
In a fire, there may be blocked paths.
Don't let that stop you!
In other words, we must break through!
That is a bit too much for a drill.
Okay! Let's bust through!
All together!
If the fire was real,
he would have died first.
What? You broke the shutter
and escaped through the front exit?
I see.
Who broke the shutter?
I just installed that!
Don't you know
how much money this will cost me?
I apologize!
Goodness. I told you.
Well, I didn't say it out loud though.
In any case,
this school doesn't need a fire drill.
After all
Boring.
Don't worry about fire
as long as I am here.
As punishment,
all of you must shave your heads!
I am always talking.
Well, actually,
I directly send words to the mind
of other people by telepathy.
But the end result is the same.
I am always talking.
Next time
A 2,950-yen coffee jelly?
Subtitle translation by James Burns