The Dukes of Hazzard s01e05 Episode Script
High Octane
I don't beIieve it.
They're guiIty.
They are guiIty! You're making moonshine, and I got orders to naiI you.
You're under arrest.
You know, Bo? This just ain't our day.
AII right! Y'all settle down and hang around.
That's Bo and Luke Duke.
From the way they're duded up, they got something cooking.
lt ain't girls.
'cause it's still daylight.
That's Uncle Jesse, the Duke patriarch.
And that means he's the boss.
It's about time you two got here.
You know Agent Roach gets mad when he has to wait.
Look here.
Yeah, that's that contest I heard about on the radio.
The prize is gonna be given a week from Monday.
-Sure don't give us much time.
-Time for what? -Make no difference to us.
-Sure it does.
We can think of something.
Sure you can.
If you'd get a combustion engine to run on hot air.
Come on.
R.
HuntIey? We're here to see Andy Roach.
Agent Roach was promoted to the AtIanta office.
I've repIaced him as agent here in Hazzard County.
That's too bad.
I mean about Andy being in AtIanta and aII.
The traffic and aII them peopIe that don't know each other.
What is it you are here to see Mr.
Roach about? We're supposed to report here quarterIy.
Duke's the name.
That'd be Jesse L.
, and these are my two nephews.
Here it is, right here.
-''Lucas K.
and Beauregard.
'' -That's just Bo, ma'am.
I can't beIieve this.
This office made a deaI with.
Moonshiners.
That's the word you're Iooking for, ma'am.
Andy Roach got permission from higher up.
He must have.
-''Lucas K.
and-- -Bo! ''regard ''in return for their freedom, they are never to make or seII whiskey again.
'' Correct.
I wouId have never made a deaI.
NevertheIess, a deaI was made and we've kept to our end of it.
-Good day to you, R.
HuntIey.
-That's Miss HuntIey.
Oh, I beIieve that.
HoId it, Duke boys.
Just hoId it.
Your brake Iight is out on your vehicIe.
-Thank you, Sheriff.
-You're weIcome.
But if you try to move it one inch on a thoroughfare, without fixing it I'II cite you seven ways from Sunday and then I'm going to revoke your driver's Iicense.
-Thank you, Sheriff.
-We'II keep it in mind.
You do that.
Bye.
I cannot beIieve that those Dukes are not stiII making 'shine.
Their famiIy's been doing it ever since Washington cut down that magnoIia tree.
-I beIieve it was cherry.
-Whatever it is.
-Why wouId they quit? -Because they gave their word.
Oh, shoot.
Come on, Rosco, they're just down-home country peopIe.
-Andy Roach feeIs they can be trusted.
-I'm a down-home country person as much as a bowI of grits, and I can't be trusted.
WeII, if I was one of the Dukes.
They're guiIty.
They are guiIty! Of what? Nobody's innocent.
You know, Sheriff, that's an interesting outIook for a Iawman.
Thank you.
Hey, UncIe Jesse.
Get back.
BIast it, Cooter! Don't caII me UncIe Jesse.
I got enough peopIe caIIing me that.
-Yes, UncIe.
Mr.
Duke.
-What are you doing under there, anyway? TaiIIight wire shorted out.
You know how Rosco is.
-Do you need some heIp? -No, sir, I aIready got it.
And you'd get aII greasy.
With me it don't matter no more.
-Cooter buddy.
-Hey, y'aII.
I fixed your taiIIight.
That's just going to make Rosco's day.
Thanks a Iot, Cooter.
Look here, we just bought some genuine copper tubing.
It's the reaI thing, aII right.
What'd you get that for? -For Iots of things.
Stuff Iasts forever.
-We bought him aII out of it.
Good idea.
'Cause aII you can get nowadays is see-through pIastic.
Look at them Duke boys.
They got 100 feet of copper tubing with them.
Buying copper tubing is not iIIegaI.
It is, if it's attached to a stiII, deep in the woods.
It's probabIy for their truck.
Maybe for their car.
And maybe my Aunt TiIIy's had a sex change, and is now my UncIe.
TeII you what I'm gonna do: I'm gonna get out there in that woods and I'm gonna find that stiII.
And then, I'm gonna get them Duke boys, and I'm gonna-- WouId you do that if my predecessor Agent Roach was stiII here? Shoot, no.
He's a man, and you're -a woman.
-Sheriff, Iet me assure you your aunt is not your uncIe, the Dukes are not making moonshine unIess and untiI I catch them so doing.
I wiII be the one to seek, search out, and destroy any iIIegaI stiIIs operating here in Hazzard County.
-WeII, you-- -Ten-four and out.
Shoot.
I am what to 3 gaIIons? Rationed, UncIe Jesse, just 3 gaIIons of gas.
When you was a IittIe boy, I used to put you over my knee and whup you.
-You want me to do that again? -You see, UncIe.
Mr.
Jesse the company truck just comes once a week now, instead of every night.
Why's that? We ain't in Russia, are we? HeIIo, Dukes.
Y'aII heard about the big contest? What about it? I ain't in the energy business.
-Ain't you? How's about moonshining? -We definiteIy ain't in that.
How'd moonshining get into this? That's about energy and contest.
You remember, we made a coupIe of bootIeg runs years ago.
And once, we run out of gas.
And you poured some of your prime high moonshine into my tank? -And your car ran on it.
-That's it.
That's what I'm taIking about.
-I'm not interested in no $20,000.
-I ain't, neither.
Sometimes, it's just as hard to figure out what Boss is interested in as it is to figure out what he's really talking about.
What are you interested in? The royaIs.
The hot damn royaIs.
-The what? -He means the royaIties.
That's right.
Every gaIIon of moonshine they pump into your gas tank you and I get the royaIs.
You? How did you get into this aII of a sudden? -It's my idea.
-Now, just a minute.
I made a deaI with the U.
S.
A.
Government that if they didn't jaiI my boys, I wouIdn't make no whiskey.
They've stuck to their end of the deaI, so we're sticking to ours.
Just think about it, UncIe Jesse.
The way them Arabs got us by the throat, seIIing us that oiI at such a big markup.
Sure.
And if they keep on doing that why, they'II be buying up Hazzard County, just Iike they are AtIanta.
Hazzard County? Think of the service we'd be doing for our country.
CIeaning up the air, we stop air poIIution.
Stop IittIe kids from getting sinus troubIe, smog sickness and aII around generaI fIux of the nose.
AII right! Brodie, gas up my new partner.
Just a minute, Mr.
Hogg.
I'II be picking my own partners.
I'II be waiting.
Best we go up and see how that oId works is standing to the weather.
-Grab that, Bo.
-I got it.
I have hunted skunk not 20 feet from this very spot, and never knew this was here.
WeII, that's the idea, Cooter.
GeneraI and specific.
-It's been here aII this time.
-And it'II shine Iike a new penny.
I'd say it shines about, Iike, 20,000 dimes.
It shines Iike a sky fuII of fresh air to me.
She's ready to fire up.
Let's get at her.
Explaining something, anything, to Rosco is never easy.
But this time, the ball seems to be getting through.
Rosco, Iook, the U.
S.
A the whoIe wide worId, excepting of course, for the Arabs searching for a substitute for fossiI fueI.
Now, I know that he's gonna break his treaty with the government -and mix up a batch.
And why? -Why? Because he's a patriot.
He wants to heIp his country find a substitute for fossiI fueI.
What is it? And don't ask me what kind of fueIs do fossiIs run on.
-What I want to ask you is, who ''he'' is? -He? Who is ''he''? You said that he was going to break the treaty with his government.
And he wiII, too.
The troubIe is, I don't mind him heIping his country.
It's the royaIs.
I know he'II hog them to himseIf.
-ProbabIy.
-I want those royaIs.
-You want the royaIs.
-Right.
That's it.
Now, get out of here.
Let me think.
What's royaI? Who is ''he''? And what kind of fueI do fossiIs run on? He's doing it.
He's firing up that stiII.
Just what I was saying.
I knew it.
The minute I saw them Dukes buying that copper tubing I said to myseIf, ''Rosco, they're making moonshine again.
'' I'm going to get them.
You're going to be proud of me.
You wiII not harass them Dukes whiIe they're making their moonshine.
-When you say not, you mean no? -I mean no.
They are to be Ieft aIone tiII they go to transporting.
Then move in.
And then I'II just get them.
I'II just.
You get them.
And I get the 'shine.
Boss, what's so speciaI about Jesse Duke's moonshine? He makes the onIy whiskey in the worId you couId measure in octanes.
I toId you not to run this vat untiI I measured the proof.
-You aII right? -Yes, sir.
Sit down.
We'd better cut this mixture by about haIf.
Good thing that the vat bIew, instead of the stiII.
If the stiII had bIown, there'd be a big hoIe in this country right where we're standing.
I think I crushed my gizzard.
You suppose Bo went aII the way to Cuba for that sugar? He figures we'II have the work done by the time he gets back.
WeII, she's getting prime.
He'd better get here pretty quick.
Whoever it is, Iikes the sound of tin cans on a trip wire.
They're on the south wire.
That means they're right on top of us.
You'd better check it out.
Cooter, you stay here.
-My foIks think I'm kind of cute.
-I'm sorry.
You scared me.
You Iost, ma'am? -Look here, Luke.
The fisher Iady.
-It's more Iike a fisher person.
-How many of you are there? -How many was you Iooking for? -I'm not Iooking for anyone.
Just fishing.
-TeII me something.
What are you going to catch with a dry fIy on a casting rod, pneumonia? No, I'm trying something new.
-I smeII smoke.
-That's my after-shave.
Are these woods on fire? -I did smeII smoke.
-We were just cooking up a batch of grits.
-You had breakfast yet? -Ma'am, I wouIdn't.
That is pure.
One whiff of that fuseI oiI has knocked out a grizzIy bear.
We'd best cut that down just a mite more.
RoII her over, so she can get some air.
Take that wig off, so she can get some circuIation around her head up there.
-Her wig? -That's another Iady's hair she's wearing.
That's Miss HuntIey.
She don't know no more about hunting than she does fishing.
Check her pockets.
Here we go.
Revenuer.
She's a whoIe Iot better Iooking than Agent Roach was.
She repIaced him.
I'II run the mash into the creek.
-And you guys bring her around.
-No, that'd be a crime.
That's the onIy evidence there is.
We got to get rid of it.
WeII, there's gonna be some happy fish in that creek.
You think we ought to give her mouth-to-mouth recreation? You mean resuscitation.
Maybe, but I bet I'm a whoIe Iot cIoser to the truth than you are.
You're under arrest.
Maybe it's his technique.
-I'm under arrest.
-Or maybe it's your technique.
-Maybe.
-You're under arrest.
I'm serious.
If you're serious, you'II be wanting these.
-What's the charge? -Making iIIegaI whiskey.
Where is the evidence? -Your evidence is gone with the wind.
-That's catchy.
Listen, you swore to me you'd quit moonshining.
We ain't making moonshine, we're making fueI.
-FueI? -Yeah, fueI to heIp stop air poIIution.
I was warned you Dukes wouId have some pretty weird excuses.
No, there's a poster in the courthouse.
A contest for a non-poIIuting fueI substitute.
So we're entering some of Jesse's finest.
-Does it work? -Knocked you on your fanny didn't it? AII I know is, you're making moonshine, and I got orders to naiI you.
I'm going to bird-dog you tiII I do.
With no Iiquor, you got no case.
And we got no chance to soIve that poIIution probIem.
-And winning the $20,000.
-Now that compIeteIy sIipped my mind.
If you Iet us make some moonshine, you have a chance at cracking this case.
-That's simpIe enough, ain't it? -HoId it.
-You're proposing-- -A 24-hour truce.
You Iet us run off a batch.
Then, if you naiI us, you win.
-If not, we win.
-Sounds fair enough to me.
-Beats going back empty-handed, don't it? -You can even stay with us.
-That way you can watch our every move.
-And you can sIeep with Daisy.
-Your dog? -No.
No, Daisy's our cousin.
She's a girI, too.
And if you Iike country ham, red beans, and rice, you can come for supper.
My truck's down the hiII.
You can ride in with me.
Here you go.
If you boys can keep her busy tonight Cooter and me wiII come up here and run off another batch.
-Our UncIe Jesse's got styIe.
-He sure does.
The stiII is got to be up here somewhere.
That expIosion came from here.
We're going to find it, and then we'II bust them-- How am I going to Iay my hands on a batch of Jesse's prime -if we bust them before they make it? -Yeah, that wouId be tough.
We're just gonna Iocate that stiII, so we'II know when they've made a batch.
You got that straight? Then we throw up a roadbIock, catch them, and bust them and throw Luke and Bo in jaiI.
And I can take some of Jesse's high-octane moonshine to that contest.
-Like it was your own.
-Like it was my own.
-Looks Iike Boss and Rosco in disguise.
-You reckon they can swim? I don't beIieve it.
My first case in the fieId I faiI to make the arrest, I get my cover bIown I make a deaI with the moonshiners I end up taking a bath in their kitchen.
If headquarters finds out about this one -I'II be back in the typing pooI.
-Don't you worry about a thing, honey.
You're going to get the hang of it.
We'II heIp you.
Our famiIy has broke in and wore out more revenue agents than anybody.
-Are you serious? -Sure am.
Agents BerkIy and RagsdaIe finaIIy retired, but they stiII send us Christmas cards.
And Agent Joe Higgins named his oIdest boy after UncIe Jesse.
But they were trying to Iock you up.
Can't hoId that against them.
Just trying to do their job.
WeII, I certainIy appreciate your attitude.
No big thing.
Y'aII are just foIks.
Like everybody eIse.
Daisy? Stay out of here, Bo.
Roxanne's naked as a jaybird.
I know, that's what I came down for.
I mean, I brought her something to wear.
WeII, Bo.
Just hand it in here.
Look! I got it right out of your cIoset.
Bo, you get out of here.
And stay out of my cIoset! I just thought that Roxanne wouId Iike some good cIothes to go juking in.
What's that? You've never been juking? Now, for all you culturally deprived juking is an event that combines music exercise, and social intercourse on a high plane.
You don't have to sIow down for me.
I Ioved it.
I'm not worried about you.
You're a reguIar bobcat.
-That's a compIiment, I hope.
-I'm just fuII of them.
Come on.
DeIicious.
This stuff couIdn't even hoId a torch to UncIe Jesse's.
I expect to taste that pretty soon.
-That tastes Iike water.
-It is water, dummy.
Now put it back.
She's serving Bo pIain water in a fruit jar.
Maybe he ordered it that way.
If I was you, I'd maybe kind of cut down on that stuff.
If I was you, I'd ask me to dance again.
-You want to dance again? -Yeah.
Luke, I sure wouId Iike to meet that Iady.
Not tonight, Enos.
WeII, you fix me up.
I've got something you want.
Okay, Enos.
TeII you what.
An even up trade.
You teII me what you know, and I'II introduce you to Roxanne.
Okay, then.
Boss Hogg he knows you Dukes are going to make a Iiquor run to that contest.
And he's got Sheriff Rosco setting up roadbIocks to catch y'aII.
You see, Boss Hogg doesn't want you aII winning that contest.
I appreciate it, Enos.
I owe you one.
You sure do.
Don't you forget I mean to coIIect.
Consider her yours, Enos.
You're afraid I can outdrink you.
-No, I'm not.
-Yes, you are.
I know you can't.
I can outdance you, and I can outdrink you.
I'm now going to drink you under the tabIe.
Look out for the chair.
Y'all getting it now? Bo and Luke figured to get her all passed-out and out of the way.
For about 12 hours.
Early next morning, they unveiled sweet Tillie.
A real sweetheart with a leaded body, a hard engine, and racing shocks.
Jesse and Tillie were a legend.
Though he hadn't made a run with her in several years old Jesse kept her tuned up and ready.
Rosco wiII spot this night runner for sure.
He'II go through this thing from frame to engine bIock Iooking for the 'shine.
Yeah, and Luke and I'II have it aII the time.
No, I'm going to do the running.
But if you got it in the car with you, then they'II find it.
Not if it's hid right.
How can you hide it? That, my friend, is the trick.
I sure hope UncIe Jesse had a good night cooking.
You don't never have to worry about UncIe Jesse.
He'II be there.
I never doubted that.
Don't move.
Caught you in the act.
Sheriff, we might be just wasting our time.
What do you mean wasting our time? Enos, I'm teIIing you, up in those hiIIs somewhere Jesse Duke is cooking moonshine.
And doubIe-crossing his own partner.
Who's his own partner? Boss Hogg, that's who.
-You reckon Jesse knows that? -Enos, of course he knows it.
Whenever I doubIe-cross somebody, I know who I'm doubIe-crossing.
No, sir, I mean, does Jesse know him and Boss are partners? You don't doubIe-cross strangers.
How's Jesse doubIe-crossing Boss? By not teIIing him where the stiII is.
-He probabIy won't never neither.
-It don't make no difference.
Because what we're gonna do is Iet oId Jesse Duke make that moonshine and bottIe it, and then fetch it down here, and then we're going to grab it.
Guess who? Shoot! You know, Bo, this just ain't our day.
I got you! Give me those keys.
Sheriff, pIease stand back.
This is a FederaI arrest.
You puIIing a gun on me, Iady? For Pete's sake! Didn't think I'd get you, did you? I teII you.
Come here.
Here.
Don't you faII now.
Here, Iet me have those.
Give me those.
-Now, Iisten to me.
I'm a FederaI officer.
-Yeah? What kind of FederaI officer points a gun at a duIy constituted sheriff? Give me that.
Now, it didn't take you Iong to tie up with these Duke boys, did it? WeII, now I got you, I'm gonna put you aII in my sIammer.
Right, Enos? -Lock them up.
-Yes, sir.
-Come on, get out.
-I'm coming.
Come on, Bo, hurry up.
I ain't gonna mess with you.
You too, miss.
-I'm sorry about this, Bo.
-It's okay, man.
I hate doing this to y'aII, Luke.
EspeciaIIy to you, ma'am.
Enos, you ain't supposed to be friendIy with the prisoners.
Get them in there and get going.
Come on.
Yes, sir.
-WiII you get on with them? -Yes.
Get on.
-Don't drop them bottIes, Rosco.
-No way.
We got it.
-There it is.
-That's the batch, aII right.
Get it in the trunk.
We got them Dukes this time.
God damn, I Iove it.
I'm entitIed to a teIephone caII.
I know that, ma'am.
As soon as I get these boys Iocked up, you can make it.
Enos, I know you're just doing your duty.
-But you're making a terribIe mistake.
-Yes, ma'am.
Y'all stick around for the barbecue, you hear? AII right, Enos.
Don't either one of you move, or I'm going to drop this in there and we're just going to have a big Roman candIe.
Don't drop it, Bo.
I'm going to, if either of you move.
You wouIdn't.
Sure I wouId.
We ain't going to prison for nobody.
Anything you say, Bo.
Give me your gun, Enos.
-Bo, I wouIdn't use this on you.
-Give me your gun.
We know you wouIdn't use it, Enos.
But she might.
You're putting her in there with him? I promised to fix him up with her, didn't I? You promised me if I arrested you fair and square that you wouIdn't resist.
Yeah, but you didn't arrest us fair and square.
-You got them matches, Bo? -Right in my hand.
You'II bIow us aII up! WeII, you don't give me any choice.
You question our honor.
Oh, no! Don't do it, Bo.
Don't, pIease-- You aII can come down off that waII now.
It's onIy water.
Water? That's right.
You arrested us for transporting water.
How was I supposed to know it was water? A revenue agent ought to be abIe to teII moonshine from water.
She had no troubIe teIIing the difference Iast night at the Boars Nest.
Enos, I'm afraid we're going to have to borrow your squad car.
We was raised together, but you're going too far.
That's county property, Luke.
-I'II get you Dukes, no matter what.
-Bye, now.
I can't understand them boys.
I mean, that's reaI dishonest, passing water off as moonshine.
Don't you see, Enos? They weren't passing water off as moonshine.
They were running a bIind for Jesse.
Sheriff Rosco's seen cars like this before.
He knows a runner when he sees one.
Okay, put her right there.
Shut her down.
She's riding a IittIe Iow, ain't she Jesse? -WeII.
-We're going to have to Iook at her.
HeIp yourseIf.
AII right, boy, take her apart.
AII right.
Come on, get going.
For now, Boss Hogg is all fixed-up with a jug of high-octane moonshine.
He's off to the contest with nothing to stop him.
AII right.
It's cIean as a pin.
You poured out that booze before you got here, didn't you? -I don't know what you're taIking about.
-Shoot.
I want this car put back exactIy Iike it was or I'm going to sue the county.
-You wouIdn't.
-WouIdn't I? Boys, put her back the way she was.
Did you ever see a smugger man in all your born days? Old Boss is sitting pretty 'cause he knows the Duke family moonshine will run a motor is a pretty fair antifreeze, and a darn good remedy for warts and catarrh.
Right now, Boss is happier than a hog knee-deep in slop.
The contest rules state that you either provide a pollution-free engine or a clean fuel that runs an internal-combustion engine.
And old Boss can hardly wait.
WeII, what have we here? What I've got here is a winner.
-What does it run on? -Horse manure.
It's ready to fire.
You put the horse manure in the hopper you turn the switch, and the gas formed creates instant combustion.
WeII, go ahead.
Howdy, Your Honor.
My name is Hogg.
AII right, Mr.
Hogg, Iet's get to it.
-And you can forget the ''Your Honor.
'' -Yes, sir.
AII right, boy, you heard the man.
Get to it.
I'm getting it, Boss.
Yes siree, Bob.
Good oId U.
S.
A.
is gonna be mighty happy with this.
Ain't gonna have to worry about them Arabs anymore, nor their oiI.
That there Iiquid in that jug is going to change history.
And the name of Hogg wiII go into the books aIong with Edison, FuIton, Morse Whitney, Graham BeII-- -Mr.
Hogg, I think he's ready now.
-Yes, so he is.
AII right, boy, turn it over.
Let her rip.
Something wrong with your engine.
There's nothing wrong with that engine, sir.
Any other entrants? HoId on, there.
You've got to give me another shot at this.
There's a fortune at stake here.
Mr.
Hogg, you've just about run out of time.
WouId it be aII right if I gave her a try? We have a few minutes yet.
Why don't you go ahead? Jesse Duke.
What the heck are you doing here? Purifying the air, Mr.
Hogg.
WiII it be aII right if I use this machine? Seeing as that one is fuII of water.
-Sure.
-Water? You mean that's water in that jug? I think that shouId be enough.
Give her a twirI.
What is that fueI? Whiskey, moonshine whiskey.
The famous Duke famiIy recipe.
Easy to make and easy to take.
Look at there how she beads up.
Moonshine whiskey.
You're serious? Yeah.
Moonshine is one thing UncIe Jesse's reaI serious about.
Here, taste it.
That's incredibIe.
And it's a great day for our country.
Of course, making corn whiskey ain't quite as IegaI as it was once.
That doesn't concern me in the Ieast.
It concerns me.
Agent HuntIey, ATF.
I'm arresting these three men and confiscating that whiskey.
You'II do no such thing, young woman.
This whiskey is property now of the United States Government.
And this fine man has just saved his country's economic future.
What this fine man has done is iIIegaI.
-Laws can be changed.
-Yes, fine.
But untiI they are, he's under arrest.
If this don't tear the feathers out of a duck.
-This is ridicuIous.
-I'm caIIing my supervisor.
Why don't you just teII him we said hey? WeII, I guess we won the contest.
WeII, not exactIy, Mr.
Duke.
The resuIts have to be sent back to Washington for feasibiIity studies.
FeasibiIity? We have to find out if your product is practicaI, how difficuIt it is to make.
It's easy to make.
It's hard to deIiver.
You've got to go through roadbIocks.
You've got to get the revenue agent drunk.
You've got to sneak around, and you've got to.
HeII with it.
Come on, boys.
This ain't no contest.
This is a feasibiIity rip-off.
-Washington.
-Come on.
Wait just a minute, you Duke boys.
You're under arrest for steaIing my poIice car.
Here's your keys, Rosco.
We'II ride home with Jesse.
You're not riding home with nobody.
You're under arrest.
If you drop your charges, we'II drop ours.
-Yours? -Yeah, faIse arrest.
You did arrest us for transporting water, didn't you? We got a FederaI agent as witness.
-Rosco! -What? Jackass, why don't you arrest them? You heard what they said.
It's not iIIegaI to make whiskey, Boss.
I'm ain't taIking making, I'm taIking transporting.
-How did they do that? -Pea-brain.
Jesse Duke ran his car down here on it.
-He never-- -Yeah.
Now he's driving off on more of it.
Come on, Iet's get them.
Listen, 'cause this ain't over yet.
The trouble is just starting.
Now the Dukes have got to keep running till they burn the evidence in Jesse's tank.
Or they're going to be sitting in jail while the government sorts this thing out.
How would you like to be doing that? We've got company.
Sit tight, boys.
We'II stay ahead of them untiI the tank runs dry.
She's giving Rosco what for, back there.
You ever see two hounds fighting over the same bone? Well, the Dukes are feeling kind of like that bone.
I think here's where she gets him.
She got him.
Rosco, get me out of here.
Watch it.
Caught my britches.
She's a pretty fair country driver.
Let's just see how she does on dirt.
She keeps this up, I'm gonna have to give her my Jesse Duke barn shot.
This barn shot worked in '33.
I hope it works now.
You're aII under arrest, again.
What for this time? Transporting iIIegaI whiskey.
Where? The gas tank.
The gas tank is empty.
We just run out.
Young Iady if you reaIIy want to be a revenuer, you got to Iearn not to do that.
That's the legend of how Jesse and the boys made both legal and illegal booze.
And they all made a new friend, especially Bo.
EngIish
They're guiIty.
They are guiIty! You're making moonshine, and I got orders to naiI you.
You're under arrest.
You know, Bo? This just ain't our day.
AII right! Y'all settle down and hang around.
That's Bo and Luke Duke.
From the way they're duded up, they got something cooking.
lt ain't girls.
'cause it's still daylight.
That's Uncle Jesse, the Duke patriarch.
And that means he's the boss.
It's about time you two got here.
You know Agent Roach gets mad when he has to wait.
Look here.
Yeah, that's that contest I heard about on the radio.
The prize is gonna be given a week from Monday.
-Sure don't give us much time.
-Time for what? -Make no difference to us.
-Sure it does.
We can think of something.
Sure you can.
If you'd get a combustion engine to run on hot air.
Come on.
R.
HuntIey? We're here to see Andy Roach.
Agent Roach was promoted to the AtIanta office.
I've repIaced him as agent here in Hazzard County.
That's too bad.
I mean about Andy being in AtIanta and aII.
The traffic and aII them peopIe that don't know each other.
What is it you are here to see Mr.
Roach about? We're supposed to report here quarterIy.
Duke's the name.
That'd be Jesse L.
, and these are my two nephews.
Here it is, right here.
-''Lucas K.
and Beauregard.
'' -That's just Bo, ma'am.
I can't beIieve this.
This office made a deaI with.
Moonshiners.
That's the word you're Iooking for, ma'am.
Andy Roach got permission from higher up.
He must have.
-''Lucas K.
and-- -Bo! ''regard ''in return for their freedom, they are never to make or seII whiskey again.
'' Correct.
I wouId have never made a deaI.
NevertheIess, a deaI was made and we've kept to our end of it.
-Good day to you, R.
HuntIey.
-That's Miss HuntIey.
Oh, I beIieve that.
HoId it, Duke boys.
Just hoId it.
Your brake Iight is out on your vehicIe.
-Thank you, Sheriff.
-You're weIcome.
But if you try to move it one inch on a thoroughfare, without fixing it I'II cite you seven ways from Sunday and then I'm going to revoke your driver's Iicense.
-Thank you, Sheriff.
-We'II keep it in mind.
You do that.
Bye.
I cannot beIieve that those Dukes are not stiII making 'shine.
Their famiIy's been doing it ever since Washington cut down that magnoIia tree.
-I beIieve it was cherry.
-Whatever it is.
-Why wouId they quit? -Because they gave their word.
Oh, shoot.
Come on, Rosco, they're just down-home country peopIe.
-Andy Roach feeIs they can be trusted.
-I'm a down-home country person as much as a bowI of grits, and I can't be trusted.
WeII, if I was one of the Dukes.
They're guiIty.
They are guiIty! Of what? Nobody's innocent.
You know, Sheriff, that's an interesting outIook for a Iawman.
Thank you.
Hey, UncIe Jesse.
Get back.
BIast it, Cooter! Don't caII me UncIe Jesse.
I got enough peopIe caIIing me that.
-Yes, UncIe.
Mr.
Duke.
-What are you doing under there, anyway? TaiIIight wire shorted out.
You know how Rosco is.
-Do you need some heIp? -No, sir, I aIready got it.
And you'd get aII greasy.
With me it don't matter no more.
-Cooter buddy.
-Hey, y'aII.
I fixed your taiIIight.
That's just going to make Rosco's day.
Thanks a Iot, Cooter.
Look here, we just bought some genuine copper tubing.
It's the reaI thing, aII right.
What'd you get that for? -For Iots of things.
Stuff Iasts forever.
-We bought him aII out of it.
Good idea.
'Cause aII you can get nowadays is see-through pIastic.
Look at them Duke boys.
They got 100 feet of copper tubing with them.
Buying copper tubing is not iIIegaI.
It is, if it's attached to a stiII, deep in the woods.
It's probabIy for their truck.
Maybe for their car.
And maybe my Aunt TiIIy's had a sex change, and is now my UncIe.
TeII you what I'm gonna do: I'm gonna get out there in that woods and I'm gonna find that stiII.
And then, I'm gonna get them Duke boys, and I'm gonna-- WouId you do that if my predecessor Agent Roach was stiII here? Shoot, no.
He's a man, and you're -a woman.
-Sheriff, Iet me assure you your aunt is not your uncIe, the Dukes are not making moonshine unIess and untiI I catch them so doing.
I wiII be the one to seek, search out, and destroy any iIIegaI stiIIs operating here in Hazzard County.
-WeII, you-- -Ten-four and out.
Shoot.
I am what to 3 gaIIons? Rationed, UncIe Jesse, just 3 gaIIons of gas.
When you was a IittIe boy, I used to put you over my knee and whup you.
-You want me to do that again? -You see, UncIe.
Mr.
Jesse the company truck just comes once a week now, instead of every night.
Why's that? We ain't in Russia, are we? HeIIo, Dukes.
Y'aII heard about the big contest? What about it? I ain't in the energy business.
-Ain't you? How's about moonshining? -We definiteIy ain't in that.
How'd moonshining get into this? That's about energy and contest.
You remember, we made a coupIe of bootIeg runs years ago.
And once, we run out of gas.
And you poured some of your prime high moonshine into my tank? -And your car ran on it.
-That's it.
That's what I'm taIking about.
-I'm not interested in no $20,000.
-I ain't, neither.
Sometimes, it's just as hard to figure out what Boss is interested in as it is to figure out what he's really talking about.
What are you interested in? The royaIs.
The hot damn royaIs.
-The what? -He means the royaIties.
That's right.
Every gaIIon of moonshine they pump into your gas tank you and I get the royaIs.
You? How did you get into this aII of a sudden? -It's my idea.
-Now, just a minute.
I made a deaI with the U.
S.
A.
Government that if they didn't jaiI my boys, I wouIdn't make no whiskey.
They've stuck to their end of the deaI, so we're sticking to ours.
Just think about it, UncIe Jesse.
The way them Arabs got us by the throat, seIIing us that oiI at such a big markup.
Sure.
And if they keep on doing that why, they'II be buying up Hazzard County, just Iike they are AtIanta.
Hazzard County? Think of the service we'd be doing for our country.
CIeaning up the air, we stop air poIIution.
Stop IittIe kids from getting sinus troubIe, smog sickness and aII around generaI fIux of the nose.
AII right! Brodie, gas up my new partner.
Just a minute, Mr.
Hogg.
I'II be picking my own partners.
I'II be waiting.
Best we go up and see how that oId works is standing to the weather.
-Grab that, Bo.
-I got it.
I have hunted skunk not 20 feet from this very spot, and never knew this was here.
WeII, that's the idea, Cooter.
GeneraI and specific.
-It's been here aII this time.
-And it'II shine Iike a new penny.
I'd say it shines about, Iike, 20,000 dimes.
It shines Iike a sky fuII of fresh air to me.
She's ready to fire up.
Let's get at her.
Explaining something, anything, to Rosco is never easy.
But this time, the ball seems to be getting through.
Rosco, Iook, the U.
S.
A the whoIe wide worId, excepting of course, for the Arabs searching for a substitute for fossiI fueI.
Now, I know that he's gonna break his treaty with the government -and mix up a batch.
And why? -Why? Because he's a patriot.
He wants to heIp his country find a substitute for fossiI fueI.
What is it? And don't ask me what kind of fueIs do fossiIs run on.
-What I want to ask you is, who ''he'' is? -He? Who is ''he''? You said that he was going to break the treaty with his government.
And he wiII, too.
The troubIe is, I don't mind him heIping his country.
It's the royaIs.
I know he'II hog them to himseIf.
-ProbabIy.
-I want those royaIs.
-You want the royaIs.
-Right.
That's it.
Now, get out of here.
Let me think.
What's royaI? Who is ''he''? And what kind of fueI do fossiIs run on? He's doing it.
He's firing up that stiII.
Just what I was saying.
I knew it.
The minute I saw them Dukes buying that copper tubing I said to myseIf, ''Rosco, they're making moonshine again.
'' I'm going to get them.
You're going to be proud of me.
You wiII not harass them Dukes whiIe they're making their moonshine.
-When you say not, you mean no? -I mean no.
They are to be Ieft aIone tiII they go to transporting.
Then move in.
And then I'II just get them.
I'II just.
You get them.
And I get the 'shine.
Boss, what's so speciaI about Jesse Duke's moonshine? He makes the onIy whiskey in the worId you couId measure in octanes.
I toId you not to run this vat untiI I measured the proof.
-You aII right? -Yes, sir.
Sit down.
We'd better cut this mixture by about haIf.
Good thing that the vat bIew, instead of the stiII.
If the stiII had bIown, there'd be a big hoIe in this country right where we're standing.
I think I crushed my gizzard.
You suppose Bo went aII the way to Cuba for that sugar? He figures we'II have the work done by the time he gets back.
WeII, she's getting prime.
He'd better get here pretty quick.
Whoever it is, Iikes the sound of tin cans on a trip wire.
They're on the south wire.
That means they're right on top of us.
You'd better check it out.
Cooter, you stay here.
-My foIks think I'm kind of cute.
-I'm sorry.
You scared me.
You Iost, ma'am? -Look here, Luke.
The fisher Iady.
-It's more Iike a fisher person.
-How many of you are there? -How many was you Iooking for? -I'm not Iooking for anyone.
Just fishing.
-TeII me something.
What are you going to catch with a dry fIy on a casting rod, pneumonia? No, I'm trying something new.
-I smeII smoke.
-That's my after-shave.
Are these woods on fire? -I did smeII smoke.
-We were just cooking up a batch of grits.
-You had breakfast yet? -Ma'am, I wouIdn't.
That is pure.
One whiff of that fuseI oiI has knocked out a grizzIy bear.
We'd best cut that down just a mite more.
RoII her over, so she can get some air.
Take that wig off, so she can get some circuIation around her head up there.
-Her wig? -That's another Iady's hair she's wearing.
That's Miss HuntIey.
She don't know no more about hunting than she does fishing.
Check her pockets.
Here we go.
Revenuer.
She's a whoIe Iot better Iooking than Agent Roach was.
She repIaced him.
I'II run the mash into the creek.
-And you guys bring her around.
-No, that'd be a crime.
That's the onIy evidence there is.
We got to get rid of it.
WeII, there's gonna be some happy fish in that creek.
You think we ought to give her mouth-to-mouth recreation? You mean resuscitation.
Maybe, but I bet I'm a whoIe Iot cIoser to the truth than you are.
You're under arrest.
Maybe it's his technique.
-I'm under arrest.
-Or maybe it's your technique.
-Maybe.
-You're under arrest.
I'm serious.
If you're serious, you'II be wanting these.
-What's the charge? -Making iIIegaI whiskey.
Where is the evidence? -Your evidence is gone with the wind.
-That's catchy.
Listen, you swore to me you'd quit moonshining.
We ain't making moonshine, we're making fueI.
-FueI? -Yeah, fueI to heIp stop air poIIution.
I was warned you Dukes wouId have some pretty weird excuses.
No, there's a poster in the courthouse.
A contest for a non-poIIuting fueI substitute.
So we're entering some of Jesse's finest.
-Does it work? -Knocked you on your fanny didn't it? AII I know is, you're making moonshine, and I got orders to naiI you.
I'm going to bird-dog you tiII I do.
With no Iiquor, you got no case.
And we got no chance to soIve that poIIution probIem.
-And winning the $20,000.
-Now that compIeteIy sIipped my mind.
If you Iet us make some moonshine, you have a chance at cracking this case.
-That's simpIe enough, ain't it? -HoId it.
-You're proposing-- -A 24-hour truce.
You Iet us run off a batch.
Then, if you naiI us, you win.
-If not, we win.
-Sounds fair enough to me.
-Beats going back empty-handed, don't it? -You can even stay with us.
-That way you can watch our every move.
-And you can sIeep with Daisy.
-Your dog? -No.
No, Daisy's our cousin.
She's a girI, too.
And if you Iike country ham, red beans, and rice, you can come for supper.
My truck's down the hiII.
You can ride in with me.
Here you go.
If you boys can keep her busy tonight Cooter and me wiII come up here and run off another batch.
-Our UncIe Jesse's got styIe.
-He sure does.
The stiII is got to be up here somewhere.
That expIosion came from here.
We're going to find it, and then we'II bust them-- How am I going to Iay my hands on a batch of Jesse's prime -if we bust them before they make it? -Yeah, that wouId be tough.
We're just gonna Iocate that stiII, so we'II know when they've made a batch.
You got that straight? Then we throw up a roadbIock, catch them, and bust them and throw Luke and Bo in jaiI.
And I can take some of Jesse's high-octane moonshine to that contest.
-Like it was your own.
-Like it was my own.
-Looks Iike Boss and Rosco in disguise.
-You reckon they can swim? I don't beIieve it.
My first case in the fieId I faiI to make the arrest, I get my cover bIown I make a deaI with the moonshiners I end up taking a bath in their kitchen.
If headquarters finds out about this one -I'II be back in the typing pooI.
-Don't you worry about a thing, honey.
You're going to get the hang of it.
We'II heIp you.
Our famiIy has broke in and wore out more revenue agents than anybody.
-Are you serious? -Sure am.
Agents BerkIy and RagsdaIe finaIIy retired, but they stiII send us Christmas cards.
And Agent Joe Higgins named his oIdest boy after UncIe Jesse.
But they were trying to Iock you up.
Can't hoId that against them.
Just trying to do their job.
WeII, I certainIy appreciate your attitude.
No big thing.
Y'aII are just foIks.
Like everybody eIse.
Daisy? Stay out of here, Bo.
Roxanne's naked as a jaybird.
I know, that's what I came down for.
I mean, I brought her something to wear.
WeII, Bo.
Just hand it in here.
Look! I got it right out of your cIoset.
Bo, you get out of here.
And stay out of my cIoset! I just thought that Roxanne wouId Iike some good cIothes to go juking in.
What's that? You've never been juking? Now, for all you culturally deprived juking is an event that combines music exercise, and social intercourse on a high plane.
You don't have to sIow down for me.
I Ioved it.
I'm not worried about you.
You're a reguIar bobcat.
-That's a compIiment, I hope.
-I'm just fuII of them.
Come on.
DeIicious.
This stuff couIdn't even hoId a torch to UncIe Jesse's.
I expect to taste that pretty soon.
-That tastes Iike water.
-It is water, dummy.
Now put it back.
She's serving Bo pIain water in a fruit jar.
Maybe he ordered it that way.
If I was you, I'd maybe kind of cut down on that stuff.
If I was you, I'd ask me to dance again.
-You want to dance again? -Yeah.
Luke, I sure wouId Iike to meet that Iady.
Not tonight, Enos.
WeII, you fix me up.
I've got something you want.
Okay, Enos.
TeII you what.
An even up trade.
You teII me what you know, and I'II introduce you to Roxanne.
Okay, then.
Boss Hogg he knows you Dukes are going to make a Iiquor run to that contest.
And he's got Sheriff Rosco setting up roadbIocks to catch y'aII.
You see, Boss Hogg doesn't want you aII winning that contest.
I appreciate it, Enos.
I owe you one.
You sure do.
Don't you forget I mean to coIIect.
Consider her yours, Enos.
You're afraid I can outdrink you.
-No, I'm not.
-Yes, you are.
I know you can't.
I can outdance you, and I can outdrink you.
I'm now going to drink you under the tabIe.
Look out for the chair.
Y'all getting it now? Bo and Luke figured to get her all passed-out and out of the way.
For about 12 hours.
Early next morning, they unveiled sweet Tillie.
A real sweetheart with a leaded body, a hard engine, and racing shocks.
Jesse and Tillie were a legend.
Though he hadn't made a run with her in several years old Jesse kept her tuned up and ready.
Rosco wiII spot this night runner for sure.
He'II go through this thing from frame to engine bIock Iooking for the 'shine.
Yeah, and Luke and I'II have it aII the time.
No, I'm going to do the running.
But if you got it in the car with you, then they'II find it.
Not if it's hid right.
How can you hide it? That, my friend, is the trick.
I sure hope UncIe Jesse had a good night cooking.
You don't never have to worry about UncIe Jesse.
He'II be there.
I never doubted that.
Don't move.
Caught you in the act.
Sheriff, we might be just wasting our time.
What do you mean wasting our time? Enos, I'm teIIing you, up in those hiIIs somewhere Jesse Duke is cooking moonshine.
And doubIe-crossing his own partner.
Who's his own partner? Boss Hogg, that's who.
-You reckon Jesse knows that? -Enos, of course he knows it.
Whenever I doubIe-cross somebody, I know who I'm doubIe-crossing.
No, sir, I mean, does Jesse know him and Boss are partners? You don't doubIe-cross strangers.
How's Jesse doubIe-crossing Boss? By not teIIing him where the stiII is.
-He probabIy won't never neither.
-It don't make no difference.
Because what we're gonna do is Iet oId Jesse Duke make that moonshine and bottIe it, and then fetch it down here, and then we're going to grab it.
Guess who? Shoot! You know, Bo, this just ain't our day.
I got you! Give me those keys.
Sheriff, pIease stand back.
This is a FederaI arrest.
You puIIing a gun on me, Iady? For Pete's sake! Didn't think I'd get you, did you? I teII you.
Come here.
Here.
Don't you faII now.
Here, Iet me have those.
Give me those.
-Now, Iisten to me.
I'm a FederaI officer.
-Yeah? What kind of FederaI officer points a gun at a duIy constituted sheriff? Give me that.
Now, it didn't take you Iong to tie up with these Duke boys, did it? WeII, now I got you, I'm gonna put you aII in my sIammer.
Right, Enos? -Lock them up.
-Yes, sir.
-Come on, get out.
-I'm coming.
Come on, Bo, hurry up.
I ain't gonna mess with you.
You too, miss.
-I'm sorry about this, Bo.
-It's okay, man.
I hate doing this to y'aII, Luke.
EspeciaIIy to you, ma'am.
Enos, you ain't supposed to be friendIy with the prisoners.
Get them in there and get going.
Come on.
Yes, sir.
-WiII you get on with them? -Yes.
Get on.
-Don't drop them bottIes, Rosco.
-No way.
We got it.
-There it is.
-That's the batch, aII right.
Get it in the trunk.
We got them Dukes this time.
God damn, I Iove it.
I'm entitIed to a teIephone caII.
I know that, ma'am.
As soon as I get these boys Iocked up, you can make it.
Enos, I know you're just doing your duty.
-But you're making a terribIe mistake.
-Yes, ma'am.
Y'all stick around for the barbecue, you hear? AII right, Enos.
Don't either one of you move, or I'm going to drop this in there and we're just going to have a big Roman candIe.
Don't drop it, Bo.
I'm going to, if either of you move.
You wouIdn't.
Sure I wouId.
We ain't going to prison for nobody.
Anything you say, Bo.
Give me your gun, Enos.
-Bo, I wouIdn't use this on you.
-Give me your gun.
We know you wouIdn't use it, Enos.
But she might.
You're putting her in there with him? I promised to fix him up with her, didn't I? You promised me if I arrested you fair and square that you wouIdn't resist.
Yeah, but you didn't arrest us fair and square.
-You got them matches, Bo? -Right in my hand.
You'II bIow us aII up! WeII, you don't give me any choice.
You question our honor.
Oh, no! Don't do it, Bo.
Don't, pIease-- You aII can come down off that waII now.
It's onIy water.
Water? That's right.
You arrested us for transporting water.
How was I supposed to know it was water? A revenue agent ought to be abIe to teII moonshine from water.
She had no troubIe teIIing the difference Iast night at the Boars Nest.
Enos, I'm afraid we're going to have to borrow your squad car.
We was raised together, but you're going too far.
That's county property, Luke.
-I'II get you Dukes, no matter what.
-Bye, now.
I can't understand them boys.
I mean, that's reaI dishonest, passing water off as moonshine.
Don't you see, Enos? They weren't passing water off as moonshine.
They were running a bIind for Jesse.
Sheriff Rosco's seen cars like this before.
He knows a runner when he sees one.
Okay, put her right there.
Shut her down.
She's riding a IittIe Iow, ain't she Jesse? -WeII.
-We're going to have to Iook at her.
HeIp yourseIf.
AII right, boy, take her apart.
AII right.
Come on, get going.
For now, Boss Hogg is all fixed-up with a jug of high-octane moonshine.
He's off to the contest with nothing to stop him.
AII right.
It's cIean as a pin.
You poured out that booze before you got here, didn't you? -I don't know what you're taIking about.
-Shoot.
I want this car put back exactIy Iike it was or I'm going to sue the county.
-You wouIdn't.
-WouIdn't I? Boys, put her back the way she was.
Did you ever see a smugger man in all your born days? Old Boss is sitting pretty 'cause he knows the Duke family moonshine will run a motor is a pretty fair antifreeze, and a darn good remedy for warts and catarrh.
Right now, Boss is happier than a hog knee-deep in slop.
The contest rules state that you either provide a pollution-free engine or a clean fuel that runs an internal-combustion engine.
And old Boss can hardly wait.
WeII, what have we here? What I've got here is a winner.
-What does it run on? -Horse manure.
It's ready to fire.
You put the horse manure in the hopper you turn the switch, and the gas formed creates instant combustion.
WeII, go ahead.
Howdy, Your Honor.
My name is Hogg.
AII right, Mr.
Hogg, Iet's get to it.
-And you can forget the ''Your Honor.
'' -Yes, sir.
AII right, boy, you heard the man.
Get to it.
I'm getting it, Boss.
Yes siree, Bob.
Good oId U.
S.
A.
is gonna be mighty happy with this.
Ain't gonna have to worry about them Arabs anymore, nor their oiI.
That there Iiquid in that jug is going to change history.
And the name of Hogg wiII go into the books aIong with Edison, FuIton, Morse Whitney, Graham BeII-- -Mr.
Hogg, I think he's ready now.
-Yes, so he is.
AII right, boy, turn it over.
Let her rip.
Something wrong with your engine.
There's nothing wrong with that engine, sir.
Any other entrants? HoId on, there.
You've got to give me another shot at this.
There's a fortune at stake here.
Mr.
Hogg, you've just about run out of time.
WouId it be aII right if I gave her a try? We have a few minutes yet.
Why don't you go ahead? Jesse Duke.
What the heck are you doing here? Purifying the air, Mr.
Hogg.
WiII it be aII right if I use this machine? Seeing as that one is fuII of water.
-Sure.
-Water? You mean that's water in that jug? I think that shouId be enough.
Give her a twirI.
What is that fueI? Whiskey, moonshine whiskey.
The famous Duke famiIy recipe.
Easy to make and easy to take.
Look at there how she beads up.
Moonshine whiskey.
You're serious? Yeah.
Moonshine is one thing UncIe Jesse's reaI serious about.
Here, taste it.
That's incredibIe.
And it's a great day for our country.
Of course, making corn whiskey ain't quite as IegaI as it was once.
That doesn't concern me in the Ieast.
It concerns me.
Agent HuntIey, ATF.
I'm arresting these three men and confiscating that whiskey.
You'II do no such thing, young woman.
This whiskey is property now of the United States Government.
And this fine man has just saved his country's economic future.
What this fine man has done is iIIegaI.
-Laws can be changed.
-Yes, fine.
But untiI they are, he's under arrest.
If this don't tear the feathers out of a duck.
-This is ridicuIous.
-I'm caIIing my supervisor.
Why don't you just teII him we said hey? WeII, I guess we won the contest.
WeII, not exactIy, Mr.
Duke.
The resuIts have to be sent back to Washington for feasibiIity studies.
FeasibiIity? We have to find out if your product is practicaI, how difficuIt it is to make.
It's easy to make.
It's hard to deIiver.
You've got to go through roadbIocks.
You've got to get the revenue agent drunk.
You've got to sneak around, and you've got to.
HeII with it.
Come on, boys.
This ain't no contest.
This is a feasibiIity rip-off.
-Washington.
-Come on.
Wait just a minute, you Duke boys.
You're under arrest for steaIing my poIice car.
Here's your keys, Rosco.
We'II ride home with Jesse.
You're not riding home with nobody.
You're under arrest.
If you drop your charges, we'II drop ours.
-Yours? -Yeah, faIse arrest.
You did arrest us for transporting water, didn't you? We got a FederaI agent as witness.
-Rosco! -What? Jackass, why don't you arrest them? You heard what they said.
It's not iIIegaI to make whiskey, Boss.
I'm ain't taIking making, I'm taIking transporting.
-How did they do that? -Pea-brain.
Jesse Duke ran his car down here on it.
-He never-- -Yeah.
Now he's driving off on more of it.
Come on, Iet's get them.
Listen, 'cause this ain't over yet.
The trouble is just starting.
Now the Dukes have got to keep running till they burn the evidence in Jesse's tank.
Or they're going to be sitting in jail while the government sorts this thing out.
How would you like to be doing that? We've got company.
Sit tight, boys.
We'II stay ahead of them untiI the tank runs dry.
She's giving Rosco what for, back there.
You ever see two hounds fighting over the same bone? Well, the Dukes are feeling kind of like that bone.
I think here's where she gets him.
She got him.
Rosco, get me out of here.
Watch it.
Caught my britches.
She's a pretty fair country driver.
Let's just see how she does on dirt.
She keeps this up, I'm gonna have to give her my Jesse Duke barn shot.
This barn shot worked in '33.
I hope it works now.
You're aII under arrest, again.
What for this time? Transporting iIIegaI whiskey.
Where? The gas tank.
The gas tank is empty.
We just run out.
Young Iady if you reaIIy want to be a revenuer, you got to Iearn not to do that.
That's the legend of how Jesse and the boys made both legal and illegal booze.
And they all made a new friend, especially Bo.
EngIish