The Family Stallone (2023) s01e05 Episode Script

MTV. ♪
-SCARLET: Happy birthday, Frank!
-(overlapping cheers)
JENNIFER: Sly was able
to leave the Tulsa King set
to come home and help celebrate
Frank's birthday.
I think the gifts
should be first.
JENNIFER:
We are all super excited.
Now we all get to be together.
This is from all of us girls.
-SOPHIA: It's a girls' gift.
-It's a girls' gift.
Condoms? No, wait a second.
(groans)
Jesus Christ.
My brother was born
with the curse
of being super honest
and unfiltered.
(laughs) At times.
It's like a guido cowboy.
Hey, yo, bring that
fucking horse over here.
But it's never dull.
FRANK:
Am I supposed to do the podcast?
-What do you mean?
-What do you mean?
Why not? No, I'm serious.
My sister Sophia and I run
a podcast called Unwaxed.
Welcome to the Unwaxed podcast.
It is about everything.
From mental health
to dating to sex.
-Oh, we're kissing a lot.
-Possibly with tongue.
Of course with tongue!
What we wanted to make sure is
that we are your best friends.
And that we're there for you.
This podcast is like dating.
We've had this for
two-plus years.
This is the longest relationship
I have ever been in.
SISTINE:
It's been so much fun to have
this baby that we started
together and see it grow.
I never saw it.
Never watched it.
I thought it was about
surfboards or something,
unwaxed or
A bunch of young gals, like,
talking about their boyfriends.
And like, "Whatever."
You know, stuff like that.
But I had a documentary
come out on my life,
and I thought they would say,
"Uncle Frank, why don't you
come on the show
and talk about your new, uh,
documentary?"
And that didn't happen.
I think it may've turned me
a little sour.
You know what?
We should do a Unwaxed
about the first
time I had sex.
Oh, my God!
-Oh, no.
-I am the shag man.
Frank, stop! Stop.
Fucking Stallones. Jesus Christ.
You think my nieces
are, like, PC?
Check!
Come on now,
roll with the crazy ♪
Dance like 1980 ♪
Ooh, ooh ♪
Roll with me, baby ♪
You ain't gonna save me ♪
Ooh, ooh. ♪
♪
WAITER: You guys still
need a moment to check
-over the lunch
menus for this afternoon?
-What are you guys known for?
WAITER: You guys ever had
Rocky Mountain oysters before?
-SOPHIA: No, I've never
-Tell her what they are.
They are thinly sliced,
deep-fried lamb testicles.
-Oh, God, no.
-WAITER: No?
-You don't want
to give those a try?
-Staying away from anything
-Scarlet.
-Hey.
Little lamb testicle tasting.
Okay, I'll do that.
-Oh, my God.
-SCARLET: I'll try it. (laughs)
WAITER:
Here we go.
I'm at dinner
with my parents tonight,
and we're celebrating
a recent career opportunity.
Oh, here we go.
This is the ball
of Baa Baa Black Sheep.
-(laughs)
-(laughs) Oh, God.
It's good.
JENNIFER:
She likes it.
(bleating): It's pretty good.
Did you just do
a lamb impression?
I was trying to do
a lamb impression.
-(laughs)
-Not very good.
You know when I realized
you were kind of famous?
I was performing
this school play,
and I was given one line.
I literally go, "Ah!
Why don't you think a little?"
And the whole room
was dead silent.
The only voice I heard was,
"Hey, attagirl."
-Attagirl.
-SCARLET: My classmates
were freaking out.
They were like, "Your dad."
And I go, "What?"
(laughs) Why are you freaking
out over this guy?
And all the parents
were asking to take photos.
And then that's when I realized,
"Dad's really famous."
-Yeah.
-"He's really good."
-Aw. Thank you, sweetheart.
-Yeah.
-Yeah. I remember that.
-And now it's your turn.
I hope.
SCARLET:
When I was younger,
I fell in love with acting
because I loved performing.
Didn't matter what club.
It didn't matter what play.
I would take different classes--
improv, whatnot.
Whether if it's
a really good acting class
or a really weird one.
It's like I say,
just embrace the moment
and express yourself,
and not be worried about
what other people think.
-Yeah.
-That's it.
SYLVESTER:
Acting is a profession
that's about 97% guaranteed
unemployment.
(laughs) That's the truth.
It really is that difficult.
So when Scarlet comes up to me
and goes, "Dad, I want
to be an actress,"
I went, "Oh, God."
But if it's in your blood,
it's in your blood,
so I wanted to see
if she really had it.
There's a part, a small part,
in Tulsa King.
I'm not guaranteeing anything
because I don't own the show,
I don't run it, but I can make
proper introductions.
-Fair enough?
-(gasps)
Yes.
(laughter)
SYLVESTER:
When Tulsa King came along,
I thought, you know,
I'd love to do
something with her.
I mean, while
I'm still on this earth,
wouldn't it be nice to have
some moments with my daughter?
And I didn't know if it was
gonna go any further because
I left that up to the powers
that be, but she nailed it.
Thank you so much. (chuckles)
-What happened?
-I got a part in Tulsa King.
You did?
(laughing): Oh, my baby.
Do you know the top
fears in the world?
Public speaking.
Speaking. How about
public singing?
I tried it once.
And it was a horror.
But you can sing. You're good.
Ooh, Dad, that's
Ready? Let's have a little
Amy Winehouse. Ready? Go.
Scarlet is in the house.
-Let's not
-(Jennifer chuckling)
-You want to hear her
sing? Seriously.
-No, no, no, no, no.
-PATRONS: Yes!
-Sing.
You know what's even better?
Your singing.
That's even better.
Last night
I went out honky-tonkin' ♪
Dressed up in my very best ♪
I just want to fall in love. ♪
-(whoops, laughs)
-(applause)
Thank you. I was born
with a big shy bone.
-(laughter)
-What the?
Sorry, that didn't
sound right, but
(laughter)
Did it? I meant
"shy bone in my body," okay?
-JENNIFER: Oh, yeah, yeah.
-SYLVESTER: That's it, folks.
Tomorrow night, 8:00,
same place.
-(laughs)
-We're drawing the curtain
on that one.
SCARLET:
Oh, my God. (laughing)
SISTINE: It's so hot.
I don't lose.
Scarlet, you're on
nipple check.
SCARLET:
No, I might give
the crowd a little
a little taste.
-No, thank you. Oh, no!
-You idiot.
-Well, game over. Oh, well.
-Nice job, nice job.
Oh, Sophia. Um, I got a very
interesting voice mail.
-From?
-Frank.
"Hey, sweetie. How are you?
"Anyway, listen,
when do you girls
-want to have me
on your podcast?"
-We're not having him on.
-Why?
-What do you mean why?
I get he was,
you know, mocking us
and making fun
of the show before, but
He has not said anything
positive about it,
has never promoted it.
Also, he's too controversial.
Like, there's things
that he says
that I don't agree with,
honestly
Yeah, but we can edit it,
Sophia. We edit the shows.
My uncle Frank
says things to get a shock.
I love when you girls
fight. It's so Californian.
(Valley girl voice):
"Okay, whatever."
-See, that is
why we aren't close.
-We don't sound like that.
It's because you used
to do that stuff
where you would make fun of us.
(blows raspberry)
It can be funny, but also
it can be borderline offensive.
It's caused our relationship
to always be
a little bit of a difficult one.
I think what makes me
mad the most
is if anyone understands
being in the shadow
of our dad and working really
hard to make it,
it should be him.
Maybe this is him
reaching out an olive branch.
SISTINE:
I think my Uncle Frank,
although he's crazy,
I think he's very entertaining.
It would be a great episode.
He has lots of stories.
And that's what
our viewers love.
We could find someone else.
We don't-- We can have
Scarlet on again.
-Hey.
-SISTINE: I mean, yeah,
we can always have Scarlet on.
We've had her on so many times.
-Hey?
-(snickering)
I-I know where you're
coming from.
You got to put your
business hat on.
Think about what
it'll do for our sponsorships.
I don't know why you listen
to what he has to say.
I just don't think
he works for our show.
I get that. Sophia, look,
he says a lot of stupid things.
No, I think
my feelings are valid.
SISTINE: I think it would mean
a lot to Dad, too, honestly.
SOPHIA: I don't know.
I don't want to keep talking
about it. It just
gets me a little frustrated.
(sighs)
I don't think he's coming on.
All right, she needs a cookie.
I don't know what we're
waiting for ♪
(barking)
SCARLET:
Mom!
Buster, no.
Oh, God. Buster, you ate
all of my food.
On your mark, ready,
set, let's go. ♪
-Hi!
-What are you guys
doing here?
Man of the hour. We were just
talking about you.
I don't think so, but nice try.
SOPHIA:
Your whole fit is very
cohesive. I like it.
The Rolling Rock, the plaid,
the cowboy boots.
I'm getting in touch
with my inner buckaroo.
SISTINE:
Um, Sophia and I were
just talking about Frank,
and then we were talking to him
at dinner about having him
on our podcast.
-And what's the problem?
-SISTINE: Sophia's the problem.
-SOPHIA: I'm not.
-SISTINE: Yeah, you are.
I wouldn't say I'm
considered the problem.
I'm just a little bit hesitant
about having him on.
I don't blame you.
He's gonna go on some rants.
All the stuff is, like,
way too controversial,
and I don't want
to get in trouble.
Bottom line,
it's a controversial guest,
-but he's also family.
-Yeah.
I like the fact that he throws
a little pepper in your life.
Yeah, and I throw it back.
We were always worried that
you didn't have that thing.
-Me?
-SYLVESTER: Yeah,
that feisty factor.
Well, actually, we were
worried about both of you
-for the same reason.
-SOPHIA: Yeah.
Oh, you're a celebrity's
child, right?
Yeah.
We'd go, "Ugh, are they gonna
be too milquetoast,
-or thin, or tepid?
-(laughs) Milk--
-Or not have the street-y thing?
-SISTINE: Yeah. Yeah.
I'm just saying
that genetics kicked in.
Around 13, you became monsters.
-I'd agree with that.
-Yeah.
Oh, thank you.
But you learned how
to stand up for yourself.
That's why you went and did the
podcast. You did it on your own.
-I didn't help.
-Yeah.
Now, you got to take
the next step forward,
bring in Uncle Frank,
and realize, "Wow, I have
really progressed."
SOPHIA:
Dad would love if I had a better
relationship with Frank.
Family's everything,
so if it matters to my dad,
it really does matter to me.
I think it's gonna be
hysterical.
It will definitely be memorable,
-that's for sure.
-Cheers. Good luck.
I know. Cheers.
-See you in the movies.
-Oh, God.
You, too.
Are you a little nervous?
I'm quite nervous.
Are you nervous? No.
Are you nervous?
SYLVESTER:
I'm always nervous.
When you're nervous,
that means you care.
-Right, Jennifer?
-I'm always nervous. (laughs)
We're gonna miss our flight
if you don't hurry up, Sly.
SYLVESTER: The only
one not nervous is Winnie.
(indistinct chatter)
PRODUCER: And then where
your father's shooting today
is in Stage One over here, so
This place is huge.
♪
SCARLET:
I finally made it
to Oklahoma City.
I'm here to shoot
with my dad for Tulsa King.
It makes me so nervous.
Oh, my goodness.
Love you, baby. Mwah.
Okay, go for it.
SCARLET:
I'm gonna be shooting
my scene in a couple of days.
In the show, I play a barista,
and I end up taking care
of the main character's horse.
SYLVESTER:
The only thing I was gonna
suggest was when we go,
"Business? Yeah,
what kind of business?
-None of your fucking business."
-Yeah, yeah, it's Okay, okay.
SYLVESTER: That's when you
realize you got a problem.
-I know what you mean.
Yeah, I got you.
-Yeah.
Ready. And action!
SCARLET:
My dad created his own success.
The man came out of nowhere,
wrote his own story,
and built his empire
from ground zero, nothing.
And it truly inspires me
to work harder.
SYLVESTER:
You better stop
calling me that, pal.
ACTOR: Hey, look,
ain't nobody gonna tell me
what to say in my own cab.
You got that?
-DIRECTOR: Cut!
-SYLVESTER: You got
to keep escalating.
But do you need
to clock something
-in order to motivate
to stop the car?
-Yeah.
SCARLET:
It's a lot of pressure because
I'm doing this with my dad,
and I know that
he believes in me.
And I just really want
to make him proud.
DIRECTOR:
All right, we're doing
again, guys. Go to one.
♪
JENNIFER:
Scarlet's in hair and makeup.
Don't be nervous.
She's got this in the bag.
I-I have confidence in her.
Who are you gonna be
when you step outside? ♪
You got to make
that lightning strike ♪
You went back in ♪
A room of blue ♪
You're Fred Astaire,
walking on air ♪
With the golden touch ♪
You're the one, you decide ♪
Hey.
Okay.
I'm-I'm basically done
with hair and makeup.
Love you.
Who are you gonna be
when you step outside? ♪
You got to make
that lightning strike. ♪
-MAN: They're ready for you.
-SCARLET: Okay, cool.
-There she is.
-I'm here. Hi.
-Hey, how are you?
-Hey, how do you do?
-Scarlet. Nice to meet you.
Guy. Great. Nice meeting you.
Okay, we're gonna do blocking.
Let me show Scarlet
a couple things.
SCARELT:
I am so nervous
walking onto that set.
My heart's just pounding.
I need to take a big breath.
This is not like school plays.
You can just sort of
step up behind your dad
-and, you know,
talk to him there.
-Okay.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
This is what I've wanted, so
don't screw this up,
Scarlet. (laughs)
DIRECTOR:
Here we go. Picture's up.
Action!
SYLVESTER:
How you doing? I'm looking
to buy a horse.
I'm sorry, señor.
Knacker's on his way.
That's the owner?
A knacker is a person
that gets rid of dead animals.
And cut!
(laughter)
Pretty damn good, guys.
(indistinct chatter)
(laughter)
Jesus Christ
Right to the table,
and, uh Let's do it.
Yeah.
And action!
We haven't met.
My name is Dwight.
-Spencer.
-Hey, Spencer.
Nice to meet you, officially.
But I'm actually leaving.
Today's my last day.
Oh. You have another job?
Not yet. Still looking.
GUY (laughing):
Cut! You nailed it.
That was so good.
That is a wrap.
SCARLET:
I'm so sad that it's all over.
I was looking forward
to this moment for so long,
and now that I'm
walking off set, like,
it's sad. Like, I wanted
just to go back,
and I enjoyed every
moment of it.
SYLVESTER:
I think children of celebrities
feel as though that they need
their parent's name
to perhaps become successful,
but that's not the truth.
The truth is you have
to have talent,
because the audience will
not accept anything but that.
So you either have it
or you don't.
And I believe Scarlet has it.
What'd you think?
-Good.
-So
Sometimes you're too hard
on yourself.
Like me. (scoffs)
-SOPHIA: Hi.
-SISTINE: Hello!
Hi, guys. Hi, guys.
(busy chatter)
SOPHIA: This is gonna be very
interesting today.
So, where are these
little squirts? In there?
-Thank you. It's perfect.
-All right. The party has begun.
(cheering)
-Uncle Frank
-Welcome, welcome.
-You made it.
-has arrived.
-SISTINE: Finally.
-Your presence in
the Unwaxed studio.
-Thank you.
-What do you think
of our studio?
-What do you think?
What's with the skulls?
Is that like a
SOPHIA: I don't know.
Sistine chose it.
SISTINE:
We tried, I tried to be quirky.
It's a little excessive,
a little much.
SOPHIA:
My fear is that Uncle Frank
says something so wrong
that I have to cut
and work hours and hours
to make sure he doesn't get
canceled or something crazy.
Everyone ready? Okay.
Here goes nothing.
Well, I'm only kidding.
SOPHIA:
This show's called Unwaxed.
It's not called Unfiltered.
SISTINE:
Okay, you guys.
Known for his
extensive music career,
he has three platinum albums,
ten gold albums,
and has even acted
in over 60 films.
-Our Uncle Frank.
-Our Uncle Frank!
-Thank you, my loves.
-(whoops) Studio audience!
Aka Frank Stallone, people.
-My little sweeties,
thank you. Yeah.
-SISTINE: Aw.
-I think we should just jump
right into your music career.
-Okay.
That is what you're known for.
You're a guitarist,
a songwriter.
I started singing really
kind of around the house
when I was five years old.
My aunt, uh, Nancy
(Italian accent):
She spoke like this.
She talk
No, they're all
This whole podcast
is gonna be accents.
FRANK:
Yeah, they were all off
the boat. So they go,
(Italian accent): "I hear
that tonight this, uh, Elvis guy
gonna be on the TV."
This is exactly what
I want to be.
-I mean, the floppy hair
-Elvis was your icon?
-Oh, so Elvis was
the inspiration?
-FRANK: Oh, absolutely.
This will probably tell you
why I'm not married.
My mother was married
five times.
-My father was
married four times.
-Right.
-Boing. (laughs)
-Boing.
Yeah, really good blueprint
out there for, like
you know, for marriage, so
-Good examples, yes.
-Yeah, really good examples.
My mother had
taken off. She left.
She had married this other guy.
When my mother came back,
she did a nice Christmas for us.
Probably the only
good one we had.
She bought two ukuleles
for my brother and I,
thinking we're gonna be
like The Everly Brothers.
Within two hours, he smashed it
over my head. Terrible.
SISTINE: What is wrong?
He's so jealous.
FRANK: He was the original
Dennis the Menace.
SOPHIA: Yeah.
He was getting in fights
every day.
So then he kind of
got into superheroes.
He jumped off the roof
of the house.
-Broke his collarbone.
-Oh, I remember this. Yeah.
My father was like,
"Goddamn it, they're not"
And my father was pretty mean.
Sly can't understand
to this day. I said, "Sly,
"you snuck out of the house
at 13 and stole his Cadillac
and got into an accident."
-Oh, I didn't
-Okay, see, you know what?
That's why I like
talking to you.
FRANK:
That's true.
Because Sly never tells
the truth about a story.
FRANK:
No. Never.
And we get the honest
truth from you.
FRANK:
That is true.
SISTINE:
I would have to say,
one of my favorite stories
was something to do
with a black sea urchin.
He stuck it in my hea--
face and hair.
I hate, I hate skin diving.
So we were-- He'd go,
"Hey, you want to take
skin diving lessons?"
I go, "Not really."
And my hair was like
down to here.
And we're under there.
All of a sudden,
he pulls my mask off,
and I go into total panic mode.
I come up, I go,
"What are you doing, man?"
(imitates Sylvester's laugh)
-(laughs) Such an ass.
-So then he finds
this sea urchin, and he
sticks it like right
kind of in my hair and face.
-And it just latches.
-Latches. You can't get it out.
Latches to his hair.
So, now I come out of the water
looking like a total moron,
with a sea urchin,
like, stuck in my hair,
and he thinks it's funny.
SISTINE:
Yeah.
But I was really afraid.
I don't like being underwater,
or like
Oh, that's like me.
In my documentary, we talk
about my panic attack era.
Want to ask how you were able
to cope with it
in your generation?
Because, today,
it's a different time.
We have way more resources,
tools, help.
FRANK:
Well, there was no
resources, no.
So, how did you go through that?
Well, you have weird thoughts.
You have gory thoughts.
You have fear thoughts.
-What saved me was music,
because I
-SISTINE: Wow.
When I'd be onstage,
I'd be fine.
-I really wanted to ask how
-Oh, wait, that makes sense
where I got it from.
I actually should
take some advice from you.
I had no idea he
suffered panic attacks.
I mean, that's something
that I've gone through
since childhood.
Honestly, it makes me sad.
I wish I had talked
to him about it more,
but I'm really, really glad
that we're having
this conversation now.
It makes me feel a lot
more bonded with him
than I had felt before.
Well, thank you guys so much
-for listening to this with him.
-Girls, I love you.
-I'm so happy you had me
on this show.
-We love him.
And we will
see you next Tuesday.
-Bye.
-SOPHIA: Bye.
Yay, that's a wrap. (whoops)
FRANK:
See?
See? I wasn't the bad Santa.
Oh. (laughs)
(laughter)
♪
JENNIFER: Almost done. I'm just
waiting on this broccoli.
SYLVESTER:
Jennifer, how much broccoli?
-(laughing)
-Who's gonna eat all
this broccoli?
Honey, I love broccoli.
I-I mean, you still have
Come on, Jennifer.
You love me, honey.
Right? (laughs)
Yeah, I know,
but I'm starving, Jen.
JENNIFER:
Um, so everyone wonders
how you stay so trim.
-This is it.
-JENNIFER: And this is it.
How'd you like the first day
in front of the camera?
-I had a great time.
-You did?
Yeah. I was super nervous
'cause it was my first time
ever doing it.
-Yeah.
-And I was thinking,
"I can't believe
this is happening."
It was surreal for me.
I'm looking around and go,
"That's my daughter." Hey.
(laughter)
-Today was a milestone. It is.
-It was.
When my dad gives me compliments
about acting,
it really just motivates me
to keep going forward.
And I realize that I'm
doing something that I love.
You know what made it
so much more comfortable?
-Your crew is so great.
-They are.
They are so nice,
and they're so warm.
So I'm glad you took that away.
These people around you
have-- they're blood
and guts and a soul,
and they're not just there.
You know who really
taught me that?
-Who?
-Dolly Parton.
-SCARLET: Really?
-SYLVESTER: The best.
So, Dolly Junior,
learn that, okay?
I have to say,
she blew me off the screen.
Hmm.
You can't have two firsts.
That's it, there's one.
That's it.
You get one shot at it,
and you did it.
You succeeded.
That was the biggest
compliment you've ever given me.
(laughs)
The last time I was happy
was when I was
-riding horses with you.
-Hmm.
Chart a different course.
I honestly feel a bit rejected.
SOPHIA: I was born
with a hole in my heart.
I have a checkup
-at the end of next week.
-Shit.
Walking into that office,
I am freaking out.
Come on now,
roll with the crazy ♪
Dance like 1980 ♪
Ooh, ooh ♪
Roll with the crazy ♪
Dance like 1980 ♪
♪
Roll with me, baby ♪
You ain't gonna save me ♪
Ooh, ooh. ♪
Captioned by
access.wgbh.org