The GOAT (2024) s01e05 Episode Script
Two for the Price of One
[Daniel]
Previously, on The Goat
-[cheering]
-[Daniel] They were all fake doctors
We have a new GOAT!
Wendell got a fake check.
[all]
Whoa!
I'm gonna take the money.
-Give it to me!
-[laughs]
Kristen, I'm sorry.
You are not the greatest
reality contestant of all time.
To all of the men who voted me out
[Daniel] Everyone made everything
about themselves, as usual.
Like, are you that threatened
by the women in the house?
You're not playing fair.
No one wants to deal
with Hurricane Kristen anymore.
That was a spectacle
and it was despicable.
Bye, bitch.
We have to get Reza out
because he is toxic.
[theme music playing]
[goat bleats]
[Joe]
Good night.
[quietly] It's just you and me here, now,
I gotta talk to you about something.
You and I now,
we've grown so close together.
And I've been in this room,
I've whispered into your mouth.
You really haven't done anything back,
but you listen.
And that is what makes a good friend.
Back at home, I don't have, like,
somebody I can just really open up to.
Um, besides my wife. But like,
she also doesn't want to hear it.
There's rumors that if you win,
you get the whole house.
That's massive for me. So massive.
I would sell it.
If you were gonna compare
all the guys here,
do you think I'm the best-looking one?
'Cause I saw the way everyone looked
at me when I was dressed like a doctor.
And everyone was like, "Oh, my God,
this guy is Patrick Dempsey."
The 200k, yeah, it's 200 now,
but when I flip it into Bitcoin,
and Bitcoin goes to the moon,
then think about how much that's gonna be.
Like
this could be so much more for all of us.
I just can't go home.
[whispers] I love you.
[goat bleats]
[light upbeat music]
[Jason] Goats make almost the same sound
as a sheep.
It's like a southern baa. Baa.
-Baa.
-Baa.
Baa, child.
Waking up this morning, the mood in
the house, I guess, it's a little lighter.
I feel good that I do have
a super majority in the house.
I have an alliance of, like, six people
now, out of the ten people in this house.
I think Joe is next on my list of targets.
Because I want to prove to the women
that there's not a guys' thing,
and we're not trying to just get rid
of all the women.
I'll get rid of a guy;
kind of an easy guy target.
His name's been up before.
We can go with that.
-And then, there were three.
-And then, there were three.
-We need numbers.
-[both] I know.
I think there is a world
where we can flip Joe.
You said you can talk to Joe.
Joe can be a target for them too.
[Jill] Oh, he knows it.
He already got picked off once.
He's isolated.
He's so disposable.
He's an easy kill.
Yeah.
Step one; we gotta get safety.
One of us has to get safety
so we're off the table.
And next, we have to get the numbers.
Joe, I know, is at the bottom of the
totem pole when it comes to those boys.
And so, I think I can pull him in.
So I'm gonna make sure he knows,
they're gonna shoot at you.
So you might as well come to us
for protection.
Teck, is it your day to be the GOAT?
Yeah, it's my day to be the GOAT.
How 'bout that?
[Wendell]
Today's your day.
[Teck] I'm feelin' good, lookin' good,
smellin' good.
Today, I'm gonna be focused.
I'm not gonna try to find any loopholes,
but I am gonna try to win
the GOAT challenge
because I do want to know what
it feels like to be the GOAT for one day.
Don't we all?
I should've grew my beard out.
-The GOAT-tee.
-The GOAT-tee.
[goat bleats]
All right, ladies, what are we thinking?
What are we scheming up here?
We were gonna come talk to you.
All right. Well, what are we thinking?
I told you, I like you;
I want to work with you.
I've been saying that.
And this is an opportunity
-for us to make something shake.
-[Joe] Yeah.
I know I know, if it's put someone
on the chopping block, it's me.
There are definitely alliances
between all the men
and all the women.
You go with the numbers
if you want to stay low-key.
So, that's what I've been trying to do.
Go with the numbers,
don't up the system.
The heavy hitters are Wendell and Day.
And right now, the women,
they're short numbers, so they need guys.
And Day isn't threatened by me,
which means
she's more likely to keep me around.
So the plan is right now, see who wins
-[Da'Vonne] Just get the GOAT.
-Get the GOAT?
-[Da'Vonne] Step one.
-All right.
It's time to start swinging.
-I agree, I agree.
-It's time to start swinging.
Yeah. 'Cause you wait too late,
you're gonna be the one that gets hit.
-Done. I get it.
-Period. All right. All right.
[Teck]
What are we chatting about?
We were thinking, what if we would have
to actually have a spoon in our mouth
and run with an egg. Like
-Yes.
-You know?
I heard you can do things
with your tongue. [laughs]
And tie a cherry
[Teck] I'm good at a lot of things.
It's proven, I'm good at a lot of things.
I've been involved in reality television
for about 24 years now.
I think the moment
that made me what I am today is,
as far as being an entertainer
or being on television,
it was like second or third grade
and my mom was having a Christmas party
at her job,
I don't know what made me do it,
but just out of nowhere,
I started breakdancing out of nowhere.
And everybody was like, "What's going on?"
Like, the response from the crowd was
like, "Oh, my God, who's this little kid?"
So, yeah, that was the moment
that kinda, like, made me who I am.
-How could you do that?
-I had to do something in a bar one time.
-Did you not pay your tab?
-[laughs]
What do we think it's gonna be today?
-What in the world?
-Tosh, is that you?
Oh, boy, he's got props.
Some artwork for the manor.
[all]
Aww
-[Daniel] Really nice.
-[Jill] Right here, right here.
Come to mommy. Come to mommy.
-[Wendell] Yeah.
-[Jill] That's it.
Oh, look at the dogs.
That makes me miss my dog.
I love when Tosh walks in.
I immediately am drawn
to the pink shirt that he's wearing,
and the cute little sneakers
that he has on.
-[Daniel] Episode five!
-[cheering]
Anyone shocked to still be here
besides me?
I've actually got
some good promotion ideas for this show.
I want to go on all of the reality shows.
And then, I promote the show,
but by going on every reality show.
What are you doing lurking?
You keep nudging forward a little bit.
I don't like it.
This episode, we're giving you all
a taste of food competition shows.
-Okay, chef.
-[applause]
In the food world, when he says that,
I'm like, okay,
this is my GOAT challenge.
Food shows are less about cooking
and more about being absolutely panicked
and surprised.
-What is that?!
-[cook] This is
It's fucking raw! Raw!
[Daniel]
You won't be grilled by Gordon Ramsay.
You will, however, have to slice and dice
your way around a format change.
Uh-oh.
At the end of this episode
not one, but two of you
will be exiled from GOAT Manor.
Surprise! Panic!
Ah! Aah!
[clattering]
Aah!
Oh, my God, this show is crazy!
Excuse me.
Aah!
Oh, my God. Holy
That changes things.
It changes everything.
Double elimination!
Bom, bom, bom!
-Double elimination changes the stakes.
-Yeah.
It changes the stakes of
a GOAT challenge now.
And the GOAT's gonna have
a lot of power this week.
Everyone's nervous.
No one wants to go home before the final.
And having a double elimination
just brings more stress into the house.
Unfortunately, somebody's goose
is gonna get cooked.
I keep sayin' that
'cause I want that joke to get in there.
[Daniel] And remember, the two people
with the most votes will be sent home.
Now, throw on a chef's hat
and meet me in the kitchen.
Let's go cook!
[classical music playing]
-Ohh!
-Hi.
[Justin] I need to win this today
to be the GOAT and get that immunity.
It's a double elimination!
Paging Alyssa!
[twinkling]
The Texas-sized Barbie doll has arrived!
[Jill] Oh!
Hello!
I don't cook nothin'.
When y'all turn these burners on,
y'all better have a fire extinguisher
on hand.
Miss Alyssa might send this thing
up in flames.
Today, I'm dressed as Noel
from the Great British Baking Show,
the most soothing reality show to watch.
Today, oh-ho-ho,
will be the opposite of that.
For your GOAT challenge,
you will be doing a Yelling Bee.
What does that have to do
with actual cooking?
Patience
In this challenge, you'll have to spell
and yell common culinary terms.
I'll give you a word,
you'll spell the word.
Oh, and also, you'll have to stir
a pot of risotto for the entire challenge.
Don't you dare let it congeal.
Not in Tosh's kitchen!
Jill, you are up first.
-Oh. Jesus Christ!
-Jill!
[Reza] Go, Jill.
Guys, a reminder; if a rat is found
underneath your hat helping you spell,
you will be DQ'ed.
Little Ratatouille joke.
[laughs]
It's a good movie.
Jill, your word is "lobster."
-L O B
-[bell dinging]
-S T E R? Lobster?
-[bell dinging]
Uh-oh, I think I missed a letter.
Jill, that is correct.
-Oh, my God.
-Whoo!
Reza, your word is "crush."
-C R U
-[bell dinging]
-S H, crush.
-[bell dinging]
I'm sorry, that is correct.
[all laugh]
Wendell "sorbet."
-S-O-R-B-E-T, sorbet.
-[bell dinging]
Wow! The fastest and correctest!
Up next is Da'Vonne.
Your word is "cereal."
-C E R E A L, cereal.
-[bell dinging]
Correct! "Dice."
-D I C E, dice.
-[bell dinging]
[Daniel]
That is correct.
[CJ]
I think I can win this challenge.
You take a house full of reality stars
and have them spell,
because if they could spell,
they wouldn't be doing reality TV.
All right, CJ.
Joe
Yes, chef.
I'm very confident going into this.
From first to tenth grade,
I have won multiple spelling bees.
I'm gonna smoke all these mother
Your word is "hummus."
Hummus [laughs]
-H U M
-[bell dinging]
Ah me! Uh
-U S.
-[goat bleats]
Joe, that is incorrect.
-We just looked at this!
-Two M's! Two M's!
I just don't understand how you worked in
a grocery store
and you can't spell hummus.
I'm an idiot. How do I misspell hummus?!
God dammit!
Ugh!
"Celery."
-C E L E
-[bell dinging]
-R
-[bell dings]
-A R Y?
-[goat bleats]
Celery?
That is incorrect.
-[groans]
-It went off the rails at the end.
How did I black out in the spelling bee?!
I think I started spelling canary.
"Dollop."
-D-O-L-L-U-P, dollop.
-[bell dings, goat bleats]
That is incorrect. "Yolk."
Always so nervous when I'm here.
I already know my odds
and they are not in my favor.
I'm good at spelling, but in Spanish.
But in English,
am I even gonna know the word?
Like
-Y O L K. Yolk.
-[bell dinging]
-[Daniel] Yes!
-[cheers]
-[Daniel] Jason.
-Yes, honey.
Jason, your word is "dinner."
-Could you use that in a sentence?
-[laughs]
Hurry up and spell dinner.
[laugh]
-D-I-N-N-E-R. Dinner.
-[bell dinging]
-Whoo!
-[Daniel] Now it's time for round two.
Jill, your word is "poach."
-Oh. P-O-A-C-H.
-[bell dinging]
Poach.
Correct!
Good job, Jill!
Quite honestly, I'm not a great speller.
But I'm a better speller
than these idiots. [laughs]
[Daniel]
"Baste."
-B-A-I-S-T.
-[goat bleats]
"Kielbasa."
[laughs]
-K E
-[goat bleats]
"Enchilada."
-E N C H I L
-[bell dinging]
-A D A. Enchilada.
-[bell dinging]
That is correct again!
-Whoa
-[cheering]
-Pasteurize. P A S T U
-[bell dings, goat bleats]
"Braise."
-B R A Z E.
-[bell dings, buzzes]
-[goat bleats]
-[Daniel] Round three.
There's only three contestants remaining;
Jason, Jill and Da'Vonne.
[Reza] With Da'Vonne as GOAT,
what we went through last time,
it left just such a foul taste
in my mouth.
If she's GOAT again,
it's gonna be a shit-show.
I need Jason to win.
He's my sista!
Jason, your word is "quesadilla."
-Q U
-[bell dinging]
-E S
-[bell dinging]
-O D I L L A. Quesadilla?
-[goat bleats]
[Daniel]
That is incorrect, Jason.
If the word had been grits or gravy
and I missed it,
it would've really devastated me.
But quesadilla, honey? That's okay.
There are two chefs left in the game.
Jill, I'll ask you to spell your word.
If it is correct, you stay in the game.
If it's incorrect,
Da'Vonne will have to spell
her word correctly to win.
[Jill] As we were playing the game,
the boys were falling,
and who was left standing
was Da'Vonne and me.
If she wins or I win,
we're both in this good position,
because we've got each other right now.
Your word is "zucchini."
-Okay. Z U
-[bell dinging]
-C
-[bell dings]
-H I
-[goat bleats]
I'm sorry, Jill, that is incorrect.
-[Wendell] That's okay, Jilly.
-[Daniel] Oh, my goodness.
Da'Vonne,
if you spell this word correctly,
you will win the challenge.
Your word is "ceviche."
Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh, shoot! Okay.
My mama gonna kill me
if I don't get this right.
Um, ceviche.
Okay, chef, I'm here. Ceviche.
-C E V
-[bell dinging]
-I C H E.
-[bell dinging]
Ceviche!
That is correct!
[screaming]
[Daniel]
Congrats to our new GOAT, Da'Vonne!
You are safe from elimination.
You will pick the teams
in the next challenge
and your risotto was simply heaven.
Double GOAT. Double O, triple O, GOAT.
[laughs]
The evil warlord of the house
has all the power again.
It feels so cool to be the GOA
on a double elimination.
Please, return your hats
and I will see you tomorrow
at the elimination challenge.
[cheers]
The two that's going home
won't be me.
It's time to play.
[soft piano music]
[Justin]
I'm just manifesting good energy.
I'm manifesting good energy.
I'm manifesting a fun day.
Not thinking about the elimination
but knowing that it's gonna happen.
Yeah, but not dwelling on it or worrying.
It throws your mind off.
No, we're not dwelling on it.
We're manifesting good energy.
Manifest these nuts, bitch.
I brought these for you.
[Justin] Do we need to do a stretch class?
Do we need a yoga class?
What do y'all need me to do?
-[Reza] No, just get in the zone.
-Go ahead, girl, put your leg up.
Stop showing off.
Stop showing off for the cameras, bitch.
Stop stealing my scene.
I'm wearing Fendi and diamonds.
[Justin]
You have the audacity and the nerve
Listen, I've had it
-Gather yourself, sister.
-[laughs]
-I've had it up to here with you.
-Gather yourself before you get gathered.
I've had it up to here!
[Wendell] Don't land on my bed!
Ah! Reza!
[laughs]
Reza's trying to sabotage me
like Nancy Kerrigan!
-Ah!
-[laughs]
[Justin]
Tonight, two people will be going home.
I don't want that to be me.
I'm definitely out of my comfort zone.
I like to think I'm a human chameleon,
but I wasn't born to fit in,
but stand out.
Just for me, as a young boy in Mesquite,
I never felt sporty or athletic.
And stepping out of your comfort zone
is how you grow and you learn.
And that's really,
ultimately what I came here for.
When I got the call for this,
I didn't ask about anything other than
Are there challenges?
Okay, I'm going.
Two hundred thousand dollars
and the title of being the GOAT,
the greatest of all time
television reality star
Ha! That's me and I know it.
[giggling]
[rock music]
-Hey! I'm your mom.
-[bee buzzing]
-[applause]
-Oh, look how pretty outside!
-Oh, my gosh!
-Hey!
-Look at this.
-Yeah.
We thought we saw it all yesterday.
-Oh, my goodness.
-Okay.
Hello, herd!
[cheers]
Why am I dressed like a bee?
It's a political statement.
[all laugh]
[Daniel] We continue our celebration
of food shows this episode.
Even though the cooking networks
have sent a cease and desist.
It's time for
your fifth elimination challenge.
The winners will be safe. And remember,
two people with the most votes
will be going home.
Double elimination makes things
so much more complicated.
It's like,
it's a different numbers game now.
So, I'm going into this challenge
wanting to win.
You about to see the Mamba today.
This challenge is extremely important.
Da'Vonne
Hey!
-[Daniel] You are the GOAT this week.
-Whoo!
Come on up and choose your team.
Whoo.
Da'Vonne, who's your first pick?
-Teck. [laughs]
-[applause]
I got Teck on my team.
Teck is competitive
and he's super strong.
-[Daniel] Next pick.
-Joe!
Freakin' Joe was a football player
and a baseball player.
-Pao.
-[applause]
Pao, she's feisty, she's energetic,
she's gonna get the job done.
Final pick
Justin.
[applause]
My strategy is to make sure
I have the strongest team.
And the other team,
I need them not so strong.
Top priority; I need two men
out of this house.
Wendell and Reza is where my focus is.
This can be so easy,
and I pray that it is.
Today, you're playing a game
called Basket Case.
Uh-oh.
One team member will use a huge slingshot
to try to fling food
into a giant picnic basket being worn
by the other four team members.
-Okay.
-[laughs]
[Daniel]
You'll be catching six heads of lettuce,
six juicy tomatoes,
six loaves of bread.
There are three zones.
You will catch one ingredient six times,
two per each zone, before moving on
to your next food item.
The team that catches all their food
and makes it back to the mustard dump
-in the fastest time
-Mustard?
will win the challenge and be safe
from elimination tonight.
We're making a sandwich, and that's
what Joe does, he makes sandwiches.
Huddle up, pick your slingers
and let's get this train wreck going.
[cheers and applause]
Now huddle up. That's fine.
All right, so I think you ought to be
the slingshot guy.
Let's focus on winning.
Someone hit the bee. Get it away from us.
Get it away from us.
Who feels comfortable slinging?
-I feel comfortable slinging.
-You think so?
-I think I can be the slingshot guy.
-'Cause I can catch.
We have a strong team. I feel comfortable.
I know Teck really is into it.
I'm on it.
[slow motion]
I'm on it.
-Teck, you got it.
-I got it, I got it, I got it.
-Positive. Be positive.
-Okay, Purple Team.
Who did you choose to be your slinger?
Teck!
I'm on Day's team,
there's a lot of pressure.
Ain't no joke.
When Day looks at you, it's like having
your mama or your grandma look at you.
So, I'm not gonna mess up.
Hey, Orange Team.
Who is gonna be your slinger?
Wendell.
[cheers and applause]
Orange Team, you're up first.
We need to win this more than ever
because this is a double elimination,
and I don't need some of my peeps
going home.
The only thing that I don't want
to see happen with our team
is we all get hit in the face
with a big 'mater,
and then we can't see
what we're supposed to be catching.
All right, ready, set, goat!
-Get in?
-Yeah, I can.
-Ah-ooh! Little long. Little long.
-[Jill] A little lower.
Juice ball.
Nice. Ooh! So close.
-[Jill] CJ. Got it!
-Oh, nice.
You got it, guys!
-I got it!
-[Daniel] Ah, that was a great catch!
Jill's still bringin' it!
-Get it, get it.
-Oh
-You got it!
-[Daniel] Oh, good catch!
-There we go.
-There we go! Yes! Oh, that counts!
Oh, my goodness. It is so stressful!
Okay, right in.
-[Reza] Go, go!
-[Jill] Drop it!
Okay, right in.
I got it!
[Daniel]
Oh.
Feel good about it! Yeah!
Ugh!
-Call it.
-Call it.
[Jill]
If you look at the face on Reza,
he is giving me
absolutely no confidence at all.
[Daniel] I feel good about it!
I feel good about it!
Ohh, my goodness!
-Go forward.
-Now what?
[Jill] He's gotta figure it out.
Whoo!
-[groans]
-Oh, lettuce!
-You got it!
-Go, go, go, go!
Wendell's gonna be sore tomorrow.
-You got it.
-Got it!
Wow!
Wee bit outside. Strike!
-Get it.
-Yeah!
That's it. That is good enough.
You get it to mama! Get it to mama!
Give it to me!
Okay, the bread! Get the bread.
Yes!
Talk to me nice, Jilly!
-Reza's a catching machine!
-[cheering]
Oh, man! Who would've
Harder, baby, harder!
-A little bit harder.
-Give it to me!
That's you, Rez. Oh, Jill! What a catch!
Jill. Oh, man!
Oh, please, you're gonna get one in the
That's good!
Oh, man! Let me get a look
at one of these loaves!
Our team has what they need to win.
We're the underdogs,
but we have it in us.
-Give it to me!
-You got it.
-Give it to
-Ahh!
[Jill]
Give it to me!
You got this! It needs more height!
Pull it down!
-Jill, come on.
-Don't tell me shush!
That's it, Jill! Yes, you got it, Jill!
[overlapping shouting]
[Daniel]
To the mustard dump!
Oh, man! That took a lot of packs.
[applause]
-Nice job.
-Good job, guys.
Okay, Purple Team, get in your basket.
Let's go!
Da'Vonne is the GOAT.
The GOAT gives you immunity.
With immunity, you don't go home.
So, if we lose, there's four of us left
on the chopping block.
We got this, guys.
[Daniel]
Teck, let's hope you learned something
from watching Wendell and the Orange Team.
We got this, y'all! Let's go!
-Let's go! Let's go!
-Whoo!
Teck, ready to sling?
Ready to sling.
Goat! [buzzes]
Back up.
Right here, right here, right here.
Focus, Teck. Come on.
Oh, got it!
Oh, Pao. What a sweet catch, Pao.
Come on, Joe.
I gotcha, I gotcha, I gotcha.
-[Daniel] There it is.
-Come on, Joe.
Way to go, Joe. Sweet catch!
Go, go. We're good.
[Daniel]
Oh, man.
There you go, Joe!
Look at Joe snatch!
Good, they're doin' good.
All right, Teck, in between the numbers.
Let's go.
[Justin]
Come on, Teck. Pull it back.
[Day]
Teck, clean the thing off.
[Teck] For some reason, everything
just kept falling out of the slingshot.
Watching the other team, the slingshot
did seem easier than what it was.
They had a tough time catchin',
I had a tough time pitchin'.
-Is he doing it on purpose?
-Of course.
-Oh, wow.
-Are you kidding me?
[Da'Vonne] He's throwing it.
-There it is!
-That's yours! That's yours!
-Pull back, Teck.
-[Da'Vonne] Teck, for real.
It's a double elimination.
Throwing the challenge to save Wendell.
What are you doin'?!
You guys better hope
we don't get out of this.
Guys, he seems to be having
some technical difficulties.
-Yeah, we know.
-Yeah, he's throwin' it.
I'm being the fool.
Yeah, I'm being the fool.
Fuck!
The first time you use a slingshot,
it takes some getting it's not easy.
What do you think's going on?
He sold us out.
The way they're talking to him is crazy.
They're throwing him under the bus.
[Daniel] There it is, there it is.
Ohh, good catch!
I think that was good. I called good.
-[Justin] Pull back!
-Come on, Joe!
-Way to go, Joe.
-Pull back and not down. That's it!
[Daniel] Oh, nice catch! Lettuce!
-Let's go!
-I got it.
There you go, Joe.
There you go, Joe.
Joe works in produce.
[Joe]
I got it.
[gasps] Lettuce hope this ends soon.
Don't call it a comeback.
-Come on.
-Good catch!
Give it to me!
[Daniel]
Nice! Bread! Bread!
That was no!
Teck, come on, the game's over.
Just do it!
-No, it ain't over yet.
-We already lost, Teck! We lost!
-He's trying his best!
-Bullshit!
-He is trying is best.
-We already lost!
-He's trying his best.
-Jesus.
Throwing the challenge?
That's my ally in this game.
He would've tipped off his team.
Like, yo,
"This is what I'm gonna do
and these are the reasons."
He didn't.
[Daniel]
Come on, guys.
I got it.
[Wendell]
Good job, Teck.
I've never slung a slingshot,
so shout out to Good Hands Joe.
He was saving us. He had all the catches.
Once I got 'em in the air,
my man Joe did catch 'em.
Although, he did think
I was throwing the challenge.
I was not throwing the challenge.
I want to win.
-There it is.
-[Jill] There you go.
Come on, Teck. Come on.
Yeah. Come on.
[Justin] One more.
Come on, come on!
There it is.
We good? All right.
Good job, guys.
This is up.
Orange Team, you had this
in 11 minutes and 35 seconds.
That was the time to beat.
Purple Team,
you had it in 12 minutes
and 30 seconds.
That means the Orange Team is the winners!
Good job, guys. Good job, guys.
Great job. Way to play.
-That's a team effort.
-Great job.
[Daniel]
Wendell, Jill, Reza, Jason, CJ,
you are safe.
That means, Joe, Pao, Justin and Teck,
you are all up for elimination tonight.
And tonight, the two people
who receive the most votes
will be sent home.
Head inside. And please, no mustard dumps.
See you at the ultimation.
I apologize, Day.
I might be going home tonight.
-Not Teck. I'm talkin' to her about her.
-I'm sorry, Day.
Hopefully, I got enough friends
in house that'll keep me here,
but some of 'em are pretty pissed at me
right now,
so we'll see if I'll be here
in the morning.
[upbeat music]
-[Reza] Teck.
-My man.
Keep it 100.
You're not up for elimination, I am.
When my people are up for elimination,
I feel like I'm up for elimination.
I got you. I got you.
I'm the type of guy you can drop off in LA
and I'll make it back to New York
with no money and no cell phone
because I'm a good communicator
and I'm charming.
How do you say cheers in
[speaks foreign language]
[speaks foreign language]
Boom.
[Teck] I definitely feel like
I'm on the hot seat tonight,
that's why I'm politicking.
You know, trying to make sure
my alliances stay together.
I don't want to go home
and the last thing people see of me is
me struggling to put
a fucking tomato in a slingshot.
[Reza]
How you feelin'?
[Teck] I'm kicking myself in the ass
because I should've done better.
You have friends in the house, though.
I know my sisters aren't voting for you.
-I just want to see you stay in the house.
-I appreciate it. Me too.
-Absolutely
-[both] My man.
Thank you, brother.
Hopefully I can stay here
and redeem myself.
I believe I have a strong alliance,
but if not,
I want to make sure
I'm not put on the chopping block.
Everybody loves a good redemption story.
To be clear, you didn't throw that?
-No, no.
-[Wendell] Okay, good. I know who you are.
Maybe I'm blinded 'cause I'm a Teck fan.
I watched Teck on The Real World: Hawaii.
I was like, that's the coolest guy
in the world.
I'm like a super fan in here. I can't
believe I'm competing with this guy.
I know you want to stay,
so I'll just do recon.
-Right.
-I'll figure out where numbers are lying.
Teck should be worried 'cause
everyone's throwing him under the bus.
But I'm not scared of this position.
We can do it
and we can get to the end together.
Teck's my man. Let's keep rockin'.
-Let's do it.
-Let's do it. I appreciate you, bro.
-I'm gonna do the work, you do the work.
-Yes, sir.
-Don't do too much work.
-No, no, no, I'm chill.
[easy music]
Let's talk. Which way you votin'?
You votin' me?
No hard feelings.
I'm gonna have to teach you
the game talk, man.
You gotta warm me up first.
How ya doin', Wen?
-How you doing, Mr. Survivor?
-Tough day, long day.
How you doing?
What do you want to see happen tonight?
As far as my votes, obviously,
I'm not gonna vote for myself.
Right.
So, there's three other people
to vote for.
Exactly. The name of this game is
live to see another day.
Yeah.
You and I both need to talk
to a lot of people.
-But where are you going?
-Oh.
Where are you going?
-Where are you going, Mr. Survivor?
-That's a good question.
-'Cause honestly
-Bro.
[Joe] Tonight,
with four of us up for elimination,
between Pao, Justin, Teck and myself,
two people are going home.
This truly is the most exhilarating part
of the game,
trying to stay alive.
-I'm a smooth talker, baby.
-I know.
-You ain't gotta worry about that.
-The smoothest. You gotta teach me.
[Joe]
I'm making as many rounds as I can.
There's some crucial conversations
I have to have.
So, which way would you vote?
[CJ]
I'm still gathering data.
And then, I really just have to
do the math in my head
and see who I have to
which way I gotta go.
Joe
I'm still workin' still workin'.
[Justin] I know that's white big booty.
'Cause they didn't know
I had all this booty.
When I go big booty, da da-da da
Folks are acting crazy.
The shenanigans in the house
are running amonk.
Amonk, amonk, amonk.
I just want to say
-And
-Of course.
-I'm gonna be loyal to my people.
-Yeah.
-'Cause my people are loyal to me.
-Yeah.
Because I feel like I don't politick
enough and I don't have enough strategies.
But you have your friends.
My strategy, of course, is,
like, I try to, like,
chat with the people
that I've been very loyal with.
Showmanship that's all I can really do.
[CJ]
Obviously, I love Justin.
How I am with the gays here
I have a very soft spot for them.
What my dads had to overcome;
I am 100% in his court.
-I have loyalty
-That's the first thing you said to me.
You were like, "I don't do alliances,
I have friends."
-Then, so be it.
-Yeah.
-Thank you.
-Okay, let's see what happens.
[Reza]
Wow, Pao-Pao, sexy AF.
I'm trying to impress.
You look good!
[Paola] Our team is on the chopping block,
and tonight, it's double elimination.
So, it is convenient to vote two guys out.
[Reza]
I don't want to vote tonight.
Yeah, well, I don't want to be
sitting in there tonight.
You guys already made a decision?
-No.
-Not yet? Any names?
-I mean
-[Paola] Is my name in there?
So, you can only vote one girl
and it's you.
-Yeah.
-And then, there's two guys.
No, I can't vote for Justin,
that's my homegirl.
-I have a deal with him.
-Okay. Okay.
So that means you are voting for me.
I am not voting for you.
[Paola]
So you're voting for me.
I trust my gut, and I know I can't trust,
well, fucking Reza. Come on.
[Jill]
This is gonna be great.
[Paola] I need to find a way to talk
to Jason 'cause he's friends with Jill.
But I just don't know
if I trust him completely.
Honey, the mouse is a-squeakin' and
the cat is a-chasin' him around the house.
Let's see how this could work in any
Ready?
Well
-[Jill] Oh, hi
-[Paola] Hi.
Jesus Christ, girl, can't you wait?
[Paola] I need you.
It's gonna be a Jason sandwich.
It's gonna be a sandwich right here.
And I'm feeling very insecure.
I'm in my underwear.
At least she's got her eyelashes on,
you ain't got yours on.
She's here, like
No, and I'm glad you come talk to me.
[Paola]
I really hope you don't vote for me.
'Cause that would be a way
to get out of this house.
Okay, I love you.
Go do your interview.
Okay?
Okay.
[sighs]
Get your eyelashes on and your bra, Jill.
[Jill]
I know, really.
What can I say? I attract the crazies.
[goat bleats]
I'm not ready to vote. So, I just
had to follow my instinct, my heart.
But I think tonight's gonna be
some surprises.
[bell dings]
[pensive music]
[whispers] Pao.
[bell dings]
[bell dings]
-[whispers] I'm sorry.
-[bell dings]
[whispers] I'm sorry, Justin.
[bell dings]
[sing-song]
I hate this job it sucks.
[goat bleating]
I don't normally sway.
And now, I'm just constantly right now
in this mode.
Hello, herd!
-[Tech] What up, Daniel.
-[Reza] Hey, Tosh!
-Welcome to your fifth ultimation.
-[Wendell] Yeah.
Which-which is-is your-your first-first
double-double ultimation-ultimation.
That means double the drama,
double the speeches,
double the raw, sexual tension.
[laughs] Touché.
After this ceremony, not one,
but the two of you
that receive the most votes
will be evicted from GOAT Manor.
For two of you, your bid to be
the greatest of all time ends tonight.
As does your shot at $200,000.
And sadly, your tiny golden goats
will be melted down
and turned into a very heavy piece
for Jill Zarin's jewelry collection.
-[laughs]
-Thank you. I appreciate that.
Let's get to the votes.
The first vote
is Joe.
[bell dings]
I mean, have you seen Joe?
Those eyes
That body-ody-ody-odya.
Joe is so cute to look at.
I don't want Joe to go home.
I want some eye candy up in this bitch.
[Daniel]
The next vote
Pao.
[bell dings]
The next vote
is for Justin.
[bell dings]
The next vote
-is for Teck.
-[bell dings]
If you receive four votes,
you will be going home tonight.
The next vote
-it's for Teck.
-[bell dings]
The next vote
is for Joe.
[bell dings]
I heard my name twice.
Now, I don't know who to trust.
I don't know if people told me the truth,
if they lied.
At this point, like, this is just
a awful game.
The next vote
-is for Teck.
-[bell dings]
That's three votes for Teck.
One more, and you'll be
leaving GOAT Manor.
-The next vote, for Justin.
-[bell dings]
The next vote
-is for Teck.
-[bell dings]
You have received four votes.
You are leaving.
You've been exiled from GOAT Manor,
and you're not the greatest
reality contestant of all time.
Teck, anything you want to say
before you leave?
Uh, I just want to say this was fun.
I had a great time.
Uh, I had a bad day and this
is what happens, this is the result of it.
I got tripped up on the slingshot,
you know.
Like, goddamn, you know,
I never saw this coming.
I guess my alliance wasn't the best
and I up.
Y'all have fun. Enjoy yourselves
in the house. And cheers to the winner.
We'll miss you, Teck.
[applause]
It wasn't in the cards for me.
I gave it my all.
I did everything I could
to become the GOAT,
but I'm gonna leave
with a smile on my face.
The party don't stop,
just Teck Money gotta leave the house.
[goat bleats, slows]
Slingshot! Goddamn!
Teck is gone, but
we're only halfway through.
One more person
will be leaving us tonight.
[intense music]
Teck is gone,
but we're only halfway through.
One more person
will be leaving us tonight.
So far, two votes for Justin,
two votes for Joe,
and one vote for Pao.
With only ten people in the house,
there's only one vote left.
Whoever has the most votes
will be going home.
The final vote
is for Justin.
[bell dings]
Justin, I'm sorry. Do you have anything
you'd like to say before you go?
I just really want to say that I walked
in this house a very confident queen.
And I want to send a heartfelt thank you
to all of you, to Tosh,
to everybody that has accepted me.
And I will leave with pride.
And I will leave the Capricorn goat
that walked in through those doors.
[Reza]
I love you so much.
A part of me wants to be disappointed,
but I can't.
I competed with my whole heart,
and I did it in heels
lookin' like a Muppet Baby.
And everyone here welcomed me
with open arms.
I love you so much.
[Justin]
Thank you, so much.
Are we hugging?
Oh, gosh, I'm excited.
[CJ] I am shocked,
and I'm shook. Justin's my friend.
Why are they taking out
all the fun people?
Any ounce of joy is just, just
This isn't a hand job, this is wring,
like, wringed out. Just
You Good luck to you.
Thank you, boo.
Good luck to you
in everything you do.
-Thank you.
-Damn it, I didn't get a hug.
Thank you all very much!
The queen has left the building.
[cheering and applause]
[Jill] You go, girl!
It's like worse than being left out
for a high-five.
My whole being is about inspiration.
I came, I saw, I conquered.
My poor goat.
I love you.
I'm not sad this is ending,
I'm happy that it happened.
And that's how I'm gonna leave
the GOAT Manor.
A goat.
[sighs]
[goat bleats, slows]
I feel like I'm Dorothy
on my yellow brick road.
Pao, how are you feeling?
Well, I'm gonna ask, please,
to remove my freaking name from this!
This freaking chair has my name on it.
No more. No more. I'm done.
Like, this is too much!
I am feeling wonderful.
Oh, this feels so freaking good.
One person voted for me; Reza.
He's going next and he knows that.
[chuckles]
Good night, sleep tight.
Okay, you bachelor, you!
A lot of things happened tonight.
-Still here, baby!
-Still here!
Our room was so strong. And now,
the men are getting plucked off.
I don't have
this super-strong alliance anymore.
[Reza]
Pour one out for the homies!
Justin we love you, Teck.
We love you, brother.
But we're like, halfway through this game.
We only have eight players left.
I still see the finish line
and I'm still in the game.
Things are gonna get interesting.
[goat bleats]
-Congrats on being in the final eight.
-[cheers]
Once all three of your balloons
are popped
Ooh!
Reza?
Aah!
After this, I'm gunning for Da'Vonne.
Pow-pow-pow!
[Reza] Pool party! Yeah!
Da'Vonne and Jill are off plotting
and planning and scheming.
-Now what?
-No, now what?
This is our one shot
at taking Da'Vonne out.
[Joe]
But now, the teams are four on four.
So, everyone's part they play
is just so much more crucial.
Previously, on The Goat
-[cheering]
-[Daniel] They were all fake doctors
We have a new GOAT!
Wendell got a fake check.
[all]
Whoa!
I'm gonna take the money.
-Give it to me!
-[laughs]
Kristen, I'm sorry.
You are not the greatest
reality contestant of all time.
To all of the men who voted me out
[Daniel] Everyone made everything
about themselves, as usual.
Like, are you that threatened
by the women in the house?
You're not playing fair.
No one wants to deal
with Hurricane Kristen anymore.
That was a spectacle
and it was despicable.
Bye, bitch.
We have to get Reza out
because he is toxic.
[theme music playing]
[goat bleats]
[Joe]
Good night.
[quietly] It's just you and me here, now,
I gotta talk to you about something.
You and I now,
we've grown so close together.
And I've been in this room,
I've whispered into your mouth.
You really haven't done anything back,
but you listen.
And that is what makes a good friend.
Back at home, I don't have, like,
somebody I can just really open up to.
Um, besides my wife. But like,
she also doesn't want to hear it.
There's rumors that if you win,
you get the whole house.
That's massive for me. So massive.
I would sell it.
If you were gonna compare
all the guys here,
do you think I'm the best-looking one?
'Cause I saw the way everyone looked
at me when I was dressed like a doctor.
And everyone was like, "Oh, my God,
this guy is Patrick Dempsey."
The 200k, yeah, it's 200 now,
but when I flip it into Bitcoin,
and Bitcoin goes to the moon,
then think about how much that's gonna be.
Like
this could be so much more for all of us.
I just can't go home.
[whispers] I love you.
[goat bleats]
[light upbeat music]
[Jason] Goats make almost the same sound
as a sheep.
It's like a southern baa. Baa.
-Baa.
-Baa.
Baa, child.
Waking up this morning, the mood in
the house, I guess, it's a little lighter.
I feel good that I do have
a super majority in the house.
I have an alliance of, like, six people
now, out of the ten people in this house.
I think Joe is next on my list of targets.
Because I want to prove to the women
that there's not a guys' thing,
and we're not trying to just get rid
of all the women.
I'll get rid of a guy;
kind of an easy guy target.
His name's been up before.
We can go with that.
-And then, there were three.
-And then, there were three.
-We need numbers.
-[both] I know.
I think there is a world
where we can flip Joe.
You said you can talk to Joe.
Joe can be a target for them too.
[Jill] Oh, he knows it.
He already got picked off once.
He's isolated.
He's so disposable.
He's an easy kill.
Yeah.
Step one; we gotta get safety.
One of us has to get safety
so we're off the table.
And next, we have to get the numbers.
Joe, I know, is at the bottom of the
totem pole when it comes to those boys.
And so, I think I can pull him in.
So I'm gonna make sure he knows,
they're gonna shoot at you.
So you might as well come to us
for protection.
Teck, is it your day to be the GOAT?
Yeah, it's my day to be the GOAT.
How 'bout that?
[Wendell]
Today's your day.
[Teck] I'm feelin' good, lookin' good,
smellin' good.
Today, I'm gonna be focused.
I'm not gonna try to find any loopholes,
but I am gonna try to win
the GOAT challenge
because I do want to know what
it feels like to be the GOAT for one day.
Don't we all?
I should've grew my beard out.
-The GOAT-tee.
-The GOAT-tee.
[goat bleats]
All right, ladies, what are we thinking?
What are we scheming up here?
We were gonna come talk to you.
All right. Well, what are we thinking?
I told you, I like you;
I want to work with you.
I've been saying that.
And this is an opportunity
-for us to make something shake.
-[Joe] Yeah.
I know I know, if it's put someone
on the chopping block, it's me.
There are definitely alliances
between all the men
and all the women.
You go with the numbers
if you want to stay low-key.
So, that's what I've been trying to do.
Go with the numbers,
don't up the system.
The heavy hitters are Wendell and Day.
And right now, the women,
they're short numbers, so they need guys.
And Day isn't threatened by me,
which means
she's more likely to keep me around.
So the plan is right now, see who wins
-[Da'Vonne] Just get the GOAT.
-Get the GOAT?
-[Da'Vonne] Step one.
-All right.
It's time to start swinging.
-I agree, I agree.
-It's time to start swinging.
Yeah. 'Cause you wait too late,
you're gonna be the one that gets hit.
-Done. I get it.
-Period. All right. All right.
[Teck]
What are we chatting about?
We were thinking, what if we would have
to actually have a spoon in our mouth
and run with an egg. Like
-Yes.
-You know?
I heard you can do things
with your tongue. [laughs]
And tie a cherry
[Teck] I'm good at a lot of things.
It's proven, I'm good at a lot of things.
I've been involved in reality television
for about 24 years now.
I think the moment
that made me what I am today is,
as far as being an entertainer
or being on television,
it was like second or third grade
and my mom was having a Christmas party
at her job,
I don't know what made me do it,
but just out of nowhere,
I started breakdancing out of nowhere.
And everybody was like, "What's going on?"
Like, the response from the crowd was
like, "Oh, my God, who's this little kid?"
So, yeah, that was the moment
that kinda, like, made me who I am.
-How could you do that?
-I had to do something in a bar one time.
-Did you not pay your tab?
-[laughs]
What do we think it's gonna be today?
-What in the world?
-Tosh, is that you?
Oh, boy, he's got props.
Some artwork for the manor.
[all]
Aww
-[Daniel] Really nice.
-[Jill] Right here, right here.
Come to mommy. Come to mommy.
-[Wendell] Yeah.
-[Jill] That's it.
Oh, look at the dogs.
That makes me miss my dog.
I love when Tosh walks in.
I immediately am drawn
to the pink shirt that he's wearing,
and the cute little sneakers
that he has on.
-[Daniel] Episode five!
-[cheering]
Anyone shocked to still be here
besides me?
I've actually got
some good promotion ideas for this show.
I want to go on all of the reality shows.
And then, I promote the show,
but by going on every reality show.
What are you doing lurking?
You keep nudging forward a little bit.
I don't like it.
This episode, we're giving you all
a taste of food competition shows.
-Okay, chef.
-[applause]
In the food world, when he says that,
I'm like, okay,
this is my GOAT challenge.
Food shows are less about cooking
and more about being absolutely panicked
and surprised.
-What is that?!
-[cook] This is
It's fucking raw! Raw!
[Daniel]
You won't be grilled by Gordon Ramsay.
You will, however, have to slice and dice
your way around a format change.
Uh-oh.
At the end of this episode
not one, but two of you
will be exiled from GOAT Manor.
Surprise! Panic!
Ah! Aah!
[clattering]
Aah!
Oh, my God, this show is crazy!
Excuse me.
Aah!
Oh, my God. Holy
That changes things.
It changes everything.
Double elimination!
Bom, bom, bom!
-Double elimination changes the stakes.
-Yeah.
It changes the stakes of
a GOAT challenge now.
And the GOAT's gonna have
a lot of power this week.
Everyone's nervous.
No one wants to go home before the final.
And having a double elimination
just brings more stress into the house.
Unfortunately, somebody's goose
is gonna get cooked.
I keep sayin' that
'cause I want that joke to get in there.
[Daniel] And remember, the two people
with the most votes will be sent home.
Now, throw on a chef's hat
and meet me in the kitchen.
Let's go cook!
[classical music playing]
-Ohh!
-Hi.
[Justin] I need to win this today
to be the GOAT and get that immunity.
It's a double elimination!
Paging Alyssa!
[twinkling]
The Texas-sized Barbie doll has arrived!
[Jill] Oh!
Hello!
I don't cook nothin'.
When y'all turn these burners on,
y'all better have a fire extinguisher
on hand.
Miss Alyssa might send this thing
up in flames.
Today, I'm dressed as Noel
from the Great British Baking Show,
the most soothing reality show to watch.
Today, oh-ho-ho,
will be the opposite of that.
For your GOAT challenge,
you will be doing a Yelling Bee.
What does that have to do
with actual cooking?
Patience
In this challenge, you'll have to spell
and yell common culinary terms.
I'll give you a word,
you'll spell the word.
Oh, and also, you'll have to stir
a pot of risotto for the entire challenge.
Don't you dare let it congeal.
Not in Tosh's kitchen!
Jill, you are up first.
-Oh. Jesus Christ!
-Jill!
[Reza] Go, Jill.
Guys, a reminder; if a rat is found
underneath your hat helping you spell,
you will be DQ'ed.
Little Ratatouille joke.
[laughs]
It's a good movie.
Jill, your word is "lobster."
-L O B
-[bell dinging]
-S T E R? Lobster?
-[bell dinging]
Uh-oh, I think I missed a letter.
Jill, that is correct.
-Oh, my God.
-Whoo!
Reza, your word is "crush."
-C R U
-[bell dinging]
-S H, crush.
-[bell dinging]
I'm sorry, that is correct.
[all laugh]
Wendell "sorbet."
-S-O-R-B-E-T, sorbet.
-[bell dinging]
Wow! The fastest and correctest!
Up next is Da'Vonne.
Your word is "cereal."
-C E R E A L, cereal.
-[bell dinging]
Correct! "Dice."
-D I C E, dice.
-[bell dinging]
[Daniel]
That is correct.
[CJ]
I think I can win this challenge.
You take a house full of reality stars
and have them spell,
because if they could spell,
they wouldn't be doing reality TV.
All right, CJ.
Joe
Yes, chef.
I'm very confident going into this.
From first to tenth grade,
I have won multiple spelling bees.
I'm gonna smoke all these mother
Your word is "hummus."
Hummus [laughs]
-H U M
-[bell dinging]
Ah me! Uh
-U S.
-[goat bleats]
Joe, that is incorrect.
-We just looked at this!
-Two M's! Two M's!
I just don't understand how you worked in
a grocery store
and you can't spell hummus.
I'm an idiot. How do I misspell hummus?!
God dammit!
Ugh!
"Celery."
-C E L E
-[bell dinging]
-R
-[bell dings]
-A R Y?
-[goat bleats]
Celery?
That is incorrect.
-[groans]
-It went off the rails at the end.
How did I black out in the spelling bee?!
I think I started spelling canary.
"Dollop."
-D-O-L-L-U-P, dollop.
-[bell dings, goat bleats]
That is incorrect. "Yolk."
Always so nervous when I'm here.
I already know my odds
and they are not in my favor.
I'm good at spelling, but in Spanish.
But in English,
am I even gonna know the word?
Like
-Y O L K. Yolk.
-[bell dinging]
-[Daniel] Yes!
-[cheers]
-[Daniel] Jason.
-Yes, honey.
Jason, your word is "dinner."
-Could you use that in a sentence?
-[laughs]
Hurry up and spell dinner.
[laugh]
-D-I-N-N-E-R. Dinner.
-[bell dinging]
-Whoo!
-[Daniel] Now it's time for round two.
Jill, your word is "poach."
-Oh. P-O-A-C-H.
-[bell dinging]
Poach.
Correct!
Good job, Jill!
Quite honestly, I'm not a great speller.
But I'm a better speller
than these idiots. [laughs]
[Daniel]
"Baste."
-B-A-I-S-T.
-[goat bleats]
"Kielbasa."
[laughs]
-K E
-[goat bleats]
"Enchilada."
-E N C H I L
-[bell dinging]
-A D A. Enchilada.
-[bell dinging]
That is correct again!
-Whoa
-[cheering]
-Pasteurize. P A S T U
-[bell dings, goat bleats]
"Braise."
-B R A Z E.
-[bell dings, buzzes]
-[goat bleats]
-[Daniel] Round three.
There's only three contestants remaining;
Jason, Jill and Da'Vonne.
[Reza] With Da'Vonne as GOAT,
what we went through last time,
it left just such a foul taste
in my mouth.
If she's GOAT again,
it's gonna be a shit-show.
I need Jason to win.
He's my sista!
Jason, your word is "quesadilla."
-Q U
-[bell dinging]
-E S
-[bell dinging]
-O D I L L A. Quesadilla?
-[goat bleats]
[Daniel]
That is incorrect, Jason.
If the word had been grits or gravy
and I missed it,
it would've really devastated me.
But quesadilla, honey? That's okay.
There are two chefs left in the game.
Jill, I'll ask you to spell your word.
If it is correct, you stay in the game.
If it's incorrect,
Da'Vonne will have to spell
her word correctly to win.
[Jill] As we were playing the game,
the boys were falling,
and who was left standing
was Da'Vonne and me.
If she wins or I win,
we're both in this good position,
because we've got each other right now.
Your word is "zucchini."
-Okay. Z U
-[bell dinging]
-C
-[bell dings]
-H I
-[goat bleats]
I'm sorry, Jill, that is incorrect.
-[Wendell] That's okay, Jilly.
-[Daniel] Oh, my goodness.
Da'Vonne,
if you spell this word correctly,
you will win the challenge.
Your word is "ceviche."
Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh, shoot! Okay.
My mama gonna kill me
if I don't get this right.
Um, ceviche.
Okay, chef, I'm here. Ceviche.
-C E V
-[bell dinging]
-I C H E.
-[bell dinging]
Ceviche!
That is correct!
[screaming]
[Daniel]
Congrats to our new GOAT, Da'Vonne!
You are safe from elimination.
You will pick the teams
in the next challenge
and your risotto was simply heaven.
Double GOAT. Double O, triple O, GOAT.
[laughs]
The evil warlord of the house
has all the power again.
It feels so cool to be the GOA
on a double elimination.
Please, return your hats
and I will see you tomorrow
at the elimination challenge.
[cheers]
The two that's going home
won't be me.
It's time to play.
[soft piano music]
[Justin]
I'm just manifesting good energy.
I'm manifesting good energy.
I'm manifesting a fun day.
Not thinking about the elimination
but knowing that it's gonna happen.
Yeah, but not dwelling on it or worrying.
It throws your mind off.
No, we're not dwelling on it.
We're manifesting good energy.
Manifest these nuts, bitch.
I brought these for you.
[Justin] Do we need to do a stretch class?
Do we need a yoga class?
What do y'all need me to do?
-[Reza] No, just get in the zone.
-Go ahead, girl, put your leg up.
Stop showing off.
Stop showing off for the cameras, bitch.
Stop stealing my scene.
I'm wearing Fendi and diamonds.
[Justin]
You have the audacity and the nerve
Listen, I've had it
-Gather yourself, sister.
-[laughs]
-I've had it up to here with you.
-Gather yourself before you get gathered.
I've had it up to here!
[Wendell] Don't land on my bed!
Ah! Reza!
[laughs]
Reza's trying to sabotage me
like Nancy Kerrigan!
-Ah!
-[laughs]
[Justin]
Tonight, two people will be going home.
I don't want that to be me.
I'm definitely out of my comfort zone.
I like to think I'm a human chameleon,
but I wasn't born to fit in,
but stand out.
Just for me, as a young boy in Mesquite,
I never felt sporty or athletic.
And stepping out of your comfort zone
is how you grow and you learn.
And that's really,
ultimately what I came here for.
When I got the call for this,
I didn't ask about anything other than
Are there challenges?
Okay, I'm going.
Two hundred thousand dollars
and the title of being the GOAT,
the greatest of all time
television reality star
Ha! That's me and I know it.
[giggling]
[rock music]
-Hey! I'm your mom.
-[bee buzzing]
-[applause]
-Oh, look how pretty outside!
-Oh, my gosh!
-Hey!
-Look at this.
-Yeah.
We thought we saw it all yesterday.
-Oh, my goodness.
-Okay.
Hello, herd!
[cheers]
Why am I dressed like a bee?
It's a political statement.
[all laugh]
[Daniel] We continue our celebration
of food shows this episode.
Even though the cooking networks
have sent a cease and desist.
It's time for
your fifth elimination challenge.
The winners will be safe. And remember,
two people with the most votes
will be going home.
Double elimination makes things
so much more complicated.
It's like,
it's a different numbers game now.
So, I'm going into this challenge
wanting to win.
You about to see the Mamba today.
This challenge is extremely important.
Da'Vonne
Hey!
-[Daniel] You are the GOAT this week.
-Whoo!
Come on up and choose your team.
Whoo.
Da'Vonne, who's your first pick?
-Teck. [laughs]
-[applause]
I got Teck on my team.
Teck is competitive
and he's super strong.
-[Daniel] Next pick.
-Joe!
Freakin' Joe was a football player
and a baseball player.
-Pao.
-[applause]
Pao, she's feisty, she's energetic,
she's gonna get the job done.
Final pick
Justin.
[applause]
My strategy is to make sure
I have the strongest team.
And the other team,
I need them not so strong.
Top priority; I need two men
out of this house.
Wendell and Reza is where my focus is.
This can be so easy,
and I pray that it is.
Today, you're playing a game
called Basket Case.
Uh-oh.
One team member will use a huge slingshot
to try to fling food
into a giant picnic basket being worn
by the other four team members.
-Okay.
-[laughs]
[Daniel]
You'll be catching six heads of lettuce,
six juicy tomatoes,
six loaves of bread.
There are three zones.
You will catch one ingredient six times,
two per each zone, before moving on
to your next food item.
The team that catches all their food
and makes it back to the mustard dump
-in the fastest time
-Mustard?
will win the challenge and be safe
from elimination tonight.
We're making a sandwich, and that's
what Joe does, he makes sandwiches.
Huddle up, pick your slingers
and let's get this train wreck going.
[cheers and applause]
Now huddle up. That's fine.
All right, so I think you ought to be
the slingshot guy.
Let's focus on winning.
Someone hit the bee. Get it away from us.
Get it away from us.
Who feels comfortable slinging?
-I feel comfortable slinging.
-You think so?
-I think I can be the slingshot guy.
-'Cause I can catch.
We have a strong team. I feel comfortable.
I know Teck really is into it.
I'm on it.
[slow motion]
I'm on it.
-Teck, you got it.
-I got it, I got it, I got it.
-Positive. Be positive.
-Okay, Purple Team.
Who did you choose to be your slinger?
Teck!
I'm on Day's team,
there's a lot of pressure.
Ain't no joke.
When Day looks at you, it's like having
your mama or your grandma look at you.
So, I'm not gonna mess up.
Hey, Orange Team.
Who is gonna be your slinger?
Wendell.
[cheers and applause]
Orange Team, you're up first.
We need to win this more than ever
because this is a double elimination,
and I don't need some of my peeps
going home.
The only thing that I don't want
to see happen with our team
is we all get hit in the face
with a big 'mater,
and then we can't see
what we're supposed to be catching.
All right, ready, set, goat!
-Get in?
-Yeah, I can.
-Ah-ooh! Little long. Little long.
-[Jill] A little lower.
Juice ball.
Nice. Ooh! So close.
-[Jill] CJ. Got it!
-Oh, nice.
You got it, guys!
-I got it!
-[Daniel] Ah, that was a great catch!
Jill's still bringin' it!
-Get it, get it.
-Oh
-You got it!
-[Daniel] Oh, good catch!
-There we go.
-There we go! Yes! Oh, that counts!
Oh, my goodness. It is so stressful!
Okay, right in.
-[Reza] Go, go!
-[Jill] Drop it!
Okay, right in.
I got it!
[Daniel]
Oh.
Feel good about it! Yeah!
Ugh!
-Call it.
-Call it.
[Jill]
If you look at the face on Reza,
he is giving me
absolutely no confidence at all.
[Daniel] I feel good about it!
I feel good about it!
Ohh, my goodness!
-Go forward.
-Now what?
[Jill] He's gotta figure it out.
Whoo!
-[groans]
-Oh, lettuce!
-You got it!
-Go, go, go, go!
Wendell's gonna be sore tomorrow.
-You got it.
-Got it!
Wow!
Wee bit outside. Strike!
-Get it.
-Yeah!
That's it. That is good enough.
You get it to mama! Get it to mama!
Give it to me!
Okay, the bread! Get the bread.
Yes!
Talk to me nice, Jilly!
-Reza's a catching machine!
-[cheering]
Oh, man! Who would've
Harder, baby, harder!
-A little bit harder.
-Give it to me!
That's you, Rez. Oh, Jill! What a catch!
Jill. Oh, man!
Oh, please, you're gonna get one in the
That's good!
Oh, man! Let me get a look
at one of these loaves!
Our team has what they need to win.
We're the underdogs,
but we have it in us.
-Give it to me!
-You got it.
-Give it to
-Ahh!
[Jill]
Give it to me!
You got this! It needs more height!
Pull it down!
-Jill, come on.
-Don't tell me shush!
That's it, Jill! Yes, you got it, Jill!
[overlapping shouting]
[Daniel]
To the mustard dump!
Oh, man! That took a lot of packs.
[applause]
-Nice job.
-Good job, guys.
Okay, Purple Team, get in your basket.
Let's go!
Da'Vonne is the GOAT.
The GOAT gives you immunity.
With immunity, you don't go home.
So, if we lose, there's four of us left
on the chopping block.
We got this, guys.
[Daniel]
Teck, let's hope you learned something
from watching Wendell and the Orange Team.
We got this, y'all! Let's go!
-Let's go! Let's go!
-Whoo!
Teck, ready to sling?
Ready to sling.
Goat! [buzzes]
Back up.
Right here, right here, right here.
Focus, Teck. Come on.
Oh, got it!
Oh, Pao. What a sweet catch, Pao.
Come on, Joe.
I gotcha, I gotcha, I gotcha.
-[Daniel] There it is.
-Come on, Joe.
Way to go, Joe. Sweet catch!
Go, go. We're good.
[Daniel]
Oh, man.
There you go, Joe!
Look at Joe snatch!
Good, they're doin' good.
All right, Teck, in between the numbers.
Let's go.
[Justin]
Come on, Teck. Pull it back.
[Day]
Teck, clean the thing off.
[Teck] For some reason, everything
just kept falling out of the slingshot.
Watching the other team, the slingshot
did seem easier than what it was.
They had a tough time catchin',
I had a tough time pitchin'.
-Is he doing it on purpose?
-Of course.
-Oh, wow.
-Are you kidding me?
[Da'Vonne] He's throwing it.
-There it is!
-That's yours! That's yours!
-Pull back, Teck.
-[Da'Vonne] Teck, for real.
It's a double elimination.
Throwing the challenge to save Wendell.
What are you doin'?!
You guys better hope
we don't get out of this.
Guys, he seems to be having
some technical difficulties.
-Yeah, we know.
-Yeah, he's throwin' it.
I'm being the fool.
Yeah, I'm being the fool.
Fuck!
The first time you use a slingshot,
it takes some getting it's not easy.
What do you think's going on?
He sold us out.
The way they're talking to him is crazy.
They're throwing him under the bus.
[Daniel] There it is, there it is.
Ohh, good catch!
I think that was good. I called good.
-[Justin] Pull back!
-Come on, Joe!
-Way to go, Joe.
-Pull back and not down. That's it!
[Daniel] Oh, nice catch! Lettuce!
-Let's go!
-I got it.
There you go, Joe.
There you go, Joe.
Joe works in produce.
[Joe]
I got it.
[gasps] Lettuce hope this ends soon.
Don't call it a comeback.
-Come on.
-Good catch!
Give it to me!
[Daniel]
Nice! Bread! Bread!
That was no!
Teck, come on, the game's over.
Just do it!
-No, it ain't over yet.
-We already lost, Teck! We lost!
-He's trying his best!
-Bullshit!
-He is trying is best.
-We already lost!
-He's trying his best.
-Jesus.
Throwing the challenge?
That's my ally in this game.
He would've tipped off his team.
Like, yo,
"This is what I'm gonna do
and these are the reasons."
He didn't.
[Daniel]
Come on, guys.
I got it.
[Wendell]
Good job, Teck.
I've never slung a slingshot,
so shout out to Good Hands Joe.
He was saving us. He had all the catches.
Once I got 'em in the air,
my man Joe did catch 'em.
Although, he did think
I was throwing the challenge.
I was not throwing the challenge.
I want to win.
-There it is.
-[Jill] There you go.
Come on, Teck. Come on.
Yeah. Come on.
[Justin] One more.
Come on, come on!
There it is.
We good? All right.
Good job, guys.
This is up.
Orange Team, you had this
in 11 minutes and 35 seconds.
That was the time to beat.
Purple Team,
you had it in 12 minutes
and 30 seconds.
That means the Orange Team is the winners!
Good job, guys. Good job, guys.
Great job. Way to play.
-That's a team effort.
-Great job.
[Daniel]
Wendell, Jill, Reza, Jason, CJ,
you are safe.
That means, Joe, Pao, Justin and Teck,
you are all up for elimination tonight.
And tonight, the two people
who receive the most votes
will be sent home.
Head inside. And please, no mustard dumps.
See you at the ultimation.
I apologize, Day.
I might be going home tonight.
-Not Teck. I'm talkin' to her about her.
-I'm sorry, Day.
Hopefully, I got enough friends
in house that'll keep me here,
but some of 'em are pretty pissed at me
right now,
so we'll see if I'll be here
in the morning.
[upbeat music]
-[Reza] Teck.
-My man.
Keep it 100.
You're not up for elimination, I am.
When my people are up for elimination,
I feel like I'm up for elimination.
I got you. I got you.
I'm the type of guy you can drop off in LA
and I'll make it back to New York
with no money and no cell phone
because I'm a good communicator
and I'm charming.
How do you say cheers in
[speaks foreign language]
[speaks foreign language]
Boom.
[Teck] I definitely feel like
I'm on the hot seat tonight,
that's why I'm politicking.
You know, trying to make sure
my alliances stay together.
I don't want to go home
and the last thing people see of me is
me struggling to put
a fucking tomato in a slingshot.
[Reza]
How you feelin'?
[Teck] I'm kicking myself in the ass
because I should've done better.
You have friends in the house, though.
I know my sisters aren't voting for you.
-I just want to see you stay in the house.
-I appreciate it. Me too.
-Absolutely
-[both] My man.
Thank you, brother.
Hopefully I can stay here
and redeem myself.
I believe I have a strong alliance,
but if not,
I want to make sure
I'm not put on the chopping block.
Everybody loves a good redemption story.
To be clear, you didn't throw that?
-No, no.
-[Wendell] Okay, good. I know who you are.
Maybe I'm blinded 'cause I'm a Teck fan.
I watched Teck on The Real World: Hawaii.
I was like, that's the coolest guy
in the world.
I'm like a super fan in here. I can't
believe I'm competing with this guy.
I know you want to stay,
so I'll just do recon.
-Right.
-I'll figure out where numbers are lying.
Teck should be worried 'cause
everyone's throwing him under the bus.
But I'm not scared of this position.
We can do it
and we can get to the end together.
Teck's my man. Let's keep rockin'.
-Let's do it.
-Let's do it. I appreciate you, bro.
-I'm gonna do the work, you do the work.
-Yes, sir.
-Don't do too much work.
-No, no, no, I'm chill.
[easy music]
Let's talk. Which way you votin'?
You votin' me?
No hard feelings.
I'm gonna have to teach you
the game talk, man.
You gotta warm me up first.
How ya doin', Wen?
-How you doing, Mr. Survivor?
-Tough day, long day.
How you doing?
What do you want to see happen tonight?
As far as my votes, obviously,
I'm not gonna vote for myself.
Right.
So, there's three other people
to vote for.
Exactly. The name of this game is
live to see another day.
Yeah.
You and I both need to talk
to a lot of people.
-But where are you going?
-Oh.
Where are you going?
-Where are you going, Mr. Survivor?
-That's a good question.
-'Cause honestly
-Bro.
[Joe] Tonight,
with four of us up for elimination,
between Pao, Justin, Teck and myself,
two people are going home.
This truly is the most exhilarating part
of the game,
trying to stay alive.
-I'm a smooth talker, baby.
-I know.
-You ain't gotta worry about that.
-The smoothest. You gotta teach me.
[Joe]
I'm making as many rounds as I can.
There's some crucial conversations
I have to have.
So, which way would you vote?
[CJ]
I'm still gathering data.
And then, I really just have to
do the math in my head
and see who I have to
which way I gotta go.
Joe
I'm still workin' still workin'.
[Justin] I know that's white big booty.
'Cause they didn't know
I had all this booty.
When I go big booty, da da-da da
Folks are acting crazy.
The shenanigans in the house
are running amonk.
Amonk, amonk, amonk.
I just want to say
-And
-Of course.
-I'm gonna be loyal to my people.
-Yeah.
-'Cause my people are loyal to me.
-Yeah.
Because I feel like I don't politick
enough and I don't have enough strategies.
But you have your friends.
My strategy, of course, is,
like, I try to, like,
chat with the people
that I've been very loyal with.
Showmanship that's all I can really do.
[CJ]
Obviously, I love Justin.
How I am with the gays here
I have a very soft spot for them.
What my dads had to overcome;
I am 100% in his court.
-I have loyalty
-That's the first thing you said to me.
You were like, "I don't do alliances,
I have friends."
-Then, so be it.
-Yeah.
-Thank you.
-Okay, let's see what happens.
[Reza]
Wow, Pao-Pao, sexy AF.
I'm trying to impress.
You look good!
[Paola] Our team is on the chopping block,
and tonight, it's double elimination.
So, it is convenient to vote two guys out.
[Reza]
I don't want to vote tonight.
Yeah, well, I don't want to be
sitting in there tonight.
You guys already made a decision?
-No.
-Not yet? Any names?
-I mean
-[Paola] Is my name in there?
So, you can only vote one girl
and it's you.
-Yeah.
-And then, there's two guys.
No, I can't vote for Justin,
that's my homegirl.
-I have a deal with him.
-Okay. Okay.
So that means you are voting for me.
I am not voting for you.
[Paola]
So you're voting for me.
I trust my gut, and I know I can't trust,
well, fucking Reza. Come on.
[Jill]
This is gonna be great.
[Paola] I need to find a way to talk
to Jason 'cause he's friends with Jill.
But I just don't know
if I trust him completely.
Honey, the mouse is a-squeakin' and
the cat is a-chasin' him around the house.
Let's see how this could work in any
Ready?
Well
-[Jill] Oh, hi
-[Paola] Hi.
Jesus Christ, girl, can't you wait?
[Paola] I need you.
It's gonna be a Jason sandwich.
It's gonna be a sandwich right here.
And I'm feeling very insecure.
I'm in my underwear.
At least she's got her eyelashes on,
you ain't got yours on.
She's here, like
No, and I'm glad you come talk to me.
[Paola]
I really hope you don't vote for me.
'Cause that would be a way
to get out of this house.
Okay, I love you.
Go do your interview.
Okay?
Okay.
[sighs]
Get your eyelashes on and your bra, Jill.
[Jill]
I know, really.
What can I say? I attract the crazies.
[goat bleats]
I'm not ready to vote. So, I just
had to follow my instinct, my heart.
But I think tonight's gonna be
some surprises.
[bell dings]
[pensive music]
[whispers] Pao.
[bell dings]
[bell dings]
-[whispers] I'm sorry.
-[bell dings]
[whispers] I'm sorry, Justin.
[bell dings]
[sing-song]
I hate this job it sucks.
[goat bleating]
I don't normally sway.
And now, I'm just constantly right now
in this mode.
Hello, herd!
-[Tech] What up, Daniel.
-[Reza] Hey, Tosh!
-Welcome to your fifth ultimation.
-[Wendell] Yeah.
Which-which is-is your-your first-first
double-double ultimation-ultimation.
That means double the drama,
double the speeches,
double the raw, sexual tension.
[laughs] Touché.
After this ceremony, not one,
but the two of you
that receive the most votes
will be evicted from GOAT Manor.
For two of you, your bid to be
the greatest of all time ends tonight.
As does your shot at $200,000.
And sadly, your tiny golden goats
will be melted down
and turned into a very heavy piece
for Jill Zarin's jewelry collection.
-[laughs]
-Thank you. I appreciate that.
Let's get to the votes.
The first vote
is Joe.
[bell dings]
I mean, have you seen Joe?
Those eyes
That body-ody-ody-odya.
Joe is so cute to look at.
I don't want Joe to go home.
I want some eye candy up in this bitch.
[Daniel]
The next vote
Pao.
[bell dings]
The next vote
is for Justin.
[bell dings]
The next vote
-is for Teck.
-[bell dings]
If you receive four votes,
you will be going home tonight.
The next vote
-it's for Teck.
-[bell dings]
The next vote
is for Joe.
[bell dings]
I heard my name twice.
Now, I don't know who to trust.
I don't know if people told me the truth,
if they lied.
At this point, like, this is just
a awful game.
The next vote
-is for Teck.
-[bell dings]
That's three votes for Teck.
One more, and you'll be
leaving GOAT Manor.
-The next vote, for Justin.
-[bell dings]
The next vote
-is for Teck.
-[bell dings]
You have received four votes.
You are leaving.
You've been exiled from GOAT Manor,
and you're not the greatest
reality contestant of all time.
Teck, anything you want to say
before you leave?
Uh, I just want to say this was fun.
I had a great time.
Uh, I had a bad day and this
is what happens, this is the result of it.
I got tripped up on the slingshot,
you know.
Like, goddamn, you know,
I never saw this coming.
I guess my alliance wasn't the best
and I up.
Y'all have fun. Enjoy yourselves
in the house. And cheers to the winner.
We'll miss you, Teck.
[applause]
It wasn't in the cards for me.
I gave it my all.
I did everything I could
to become the GOAT,
but I'm gonna leave
with a smile on my face.
The party don't stop,
just Teck Money gotta leave the house.
[goat bleats, slows]
Slingshot! Goddamn!
Teck is gone, but
we're only halfway through.
One more person
will be leaving us tonight.
[intense music]
Teck is gone,
but we're only halfway through.
One more person
will be leaving us tonight.
So far, two votes for Justin,
two votes for Joe,
and one vote for Pao.
With only ten people in the house,
there's only one vote left.
Whoever has the most votes
will be going home.
The final vote
is for Justin.
[bell dings]
Justin, I'm sorry. Do you have anything
you'd like to say before you go?
I just really want to say that I walked
in this house a very confident queen.
And I want to send a heartfelt thank you
to all of you, to Tosh,
to everybody that has accepted me.
And I will leave with pride.
And I will leave the Capricorn goat
that walked in through those doors.
[Reza]
I love you so much.
A part of me wants to be disappointed,
but I can't.
I competed with my whole heart,
and I did it in heels
lookin' like a Muppet Baby.
And everyone here welcomed me
with open arms.
I love you so much.
[Justin]
Thank you, so much.
Are we hugging?
Oh, gosh, I'm excited.
[CJ] I am shocked,
and I'm shook. Justin's my friend.
Why are they taking out
all the fun people?
Any ounce of joy is just, just
This isn't a hand job, this is wring,
like, wringed out. Just
You Good luck to you.
Thank you, boo.
Good luck to you
in everything you do.
-Thank you.
-Damn it, I didn't get a hug.
Thank you all very much!
The queen has left the building.
[cheering and applause]
[Jill] You go, girl!
It's like worse than being left out
for a high-five.
My whole being is about inspiration.
I came, I saw, I conquered.
My poor goat.
I love you.
I'm not sad this is ending,
I'm happy that it happened.
And that's how I'm gonna leave
the GOAT Manor.
A goat.
[sighs]
[goat bleats, slows]
I feel like I'm Dorothy
on my yellow brick road.
Pao, how are you feeling?
Well, I'm gonna ask, please,
to remove my freaking name from this!
This freaking chair has my name on it.
No more. No more. I'm done.
Like, this is too much!
I am feeling wonderful.
Oh, this feels so freaking good.
One person voted for me; Reza.
He's going next and he knows that.
[chuckles]
Good night, sleep tight.
Okay, you bachelor, you!
A lot of things happened tonight.
-Still here, baby!
-Still here!
Our room was so strong. And now,
the men are getting plucked off.
I don't have
this super-strong alliance anymore.
[Reza]
Pour one out for the homies!
Justin we love you, Teck.
We love you, brother.
But we're like, halfway through this game.
We only have eight players left.
I still see the finish line
and I'm still in the game.
Things are gonna get interesting.
[goat bleats]
-Congrats on being in the final eight.
-[cheers]
Once all three of your balloons
are popped
Ooh!
Reza?
Aah!
After this, I'm gunning for Da'Vonne.
Pow-pow-pow!
[Reza] Pool party! Yeah!
Da'Vonne and Jill are off plotting
and planning and scheming.
-Now what?
-No, now what?
This is our one shot
at taking Da'Vonne out.
[Joe]
But now, the teams are four on four.
So, everyone's part they play
is just so much more crucial.