The Guild (2007) s01e05 Episode Script

Well, uh, the meeting went great.
The Guild helped me explain to Zaboo that I like him, but only as a friend.
And he was totally cool with that.
He packed up his stuff and left and now, you know, I'm just hanging Hey.
Love monkey.
The dinner's ready.
So, whenever you're ready to come.
- Don't want to get cold, okay? - Okay.
This is nice.
- You should use these.
- Okay.
Bye.
Okay.
I was lying.
Lied to my own webcam.
Lied to my own webcam.
So my husband is in pharmaceuticals, and I stay at home with the kids, where I'm in pharmaceuticals, too.
Great! Thanks for sharing.
Tink? Well, I just got a job at a fashion magazine as the assistant to the editor.
It's a dream come true.
I know I don't have the looks to fit in, but I decided to stick it out.
Do whatever it takes to fulfill my dreams.
Yeah.
That's the plot to Ugly Betty.
- Oh, my God! It is! - Yeah.
What a coincidence! So what do you do, Vork? I was thinking of dropping metalworks for something a little more I'm a violinist.
You know.
Former child prodigy.
Now I'm old.
Oh.
Well, you know what I love.
This thing.
This one.
Um, what about you? Real life? Question.
Um, I was taking care of my grandfather full-time, but he passed away last summer.
Oh.
I'm sorry.
He was a great man.
He gave me this suit.
And his house.
I still, uh I still get his Social Security checks.
Isn't that illegal? What? Isn't that illegal? I'm very happy for you two.
What? Zaboo? Oh, no! Zaboo and me? No! No, I'm sorry.
It's just, um There is no circumstance under which we are together in any way, shape, or form.
It's just Yeah, so we're gonna have an in-game ceremony, and it's gonna be off the hook, frankly.
Because that's where it started.
Online.
So Zaboo? Can you? Yes, my love? Would you mind getting my sweater from the car? A quest! Oh! Do I get a reward if I turn it in? Like, maybe a I could get it now? No, no.
Okay.
I'll get it later.
With tongue.
Help me! Help you? With what? You and Zaboo have been sucking virtual face since the Gargoyle Fest.
That is not true.
That's rid That's ridiculous.
There were a lot of winkies in Guild chat.
It's because a semi-colon just slipped in.
I just Okay.
Can you guys help me explain to him that there's just no way? Why is there a pack of cheese on the table? Oh, thank you for asking, Codex.
The price difference here between a cheeseburger and a hamburger is one dollar.
Now, if you divide 12 into 2.
95, the cost of a pack of Kraft Deli Deluxe mild cheddar cheese slices, each slice costs 24.
5 cents.
If you bring your own cheese, that's a savings of 75.
5 cents per burger.
Anybody requiring cheese might pay me so accordingly.
Uh, go ahead and round up.
What the fuck? I want to grow my money, Tink.
Not spend it on cheese gouging! Okay.
Forget the cheese.
Yeah, you guys.
Cut it out.
Okay? Cut the cheese out.
Cut-the-cheese! Listen, you guys! How do I get Zaboo to understand that there's? Look, look, M'Lady! It's +15 to frost resist.
I thought of that on the way over.
Very funny.
Very funny.
That's enough socialization.
Let's turn to page two of the collated agenda.
Bladezz is one of the Knights of Good founding members, but his attendance as of late has been less than stellar and his attitude, worse.
Boot him.
No! He's like the retarded cousin of the Guild.
The right thing to do is let him play tag, even though he runs around hitting people.
Yeah.
Clara's right.
In theory.
Hey! I thought I smelled nerd stink coming from this booth.
Hey, Bladezz! My man! You guys have met before? I'm Clara.
I'm old enough to be your mom.
And that doesn't spring me.
But you other ladies Bladezz, I'm Vork.
We have been discussing you.
I figured.
Clara's post on the Officer's forum was titled "Cheeseybeard's meeting to discuss Bladezz.
" See? That's why I don't play a rogue.
So, you guys were gonna kick me out behind my back, huh? After all the hours I put in with you.
Well, wait, the meeting wasn't just about you.
It was about the Guild getting to know each other.
Ah! That makes me feel less left out.
- Hey, we've got your back, Bladezz.
- Don't speak for me.
Well, I just want to remind Vork that he transferred the entire Guild Bank to my other character last week.
So I have all the Guild gold, I have all the Guild equipment And yeah, that's it.
Have a nice meal.
Simon.
Two minutes are up.
Dad says, "Get your ass in the car.
" She's adorable.
I'm coming! These your Internet friends? They're old.
Any of them pervs? No.
No one's a perv.
Dina, you ruined my exit.
That was awkward.
You transferred the Guild Bank to Bladezz? - Let me explain.
- Let me.
One day, Vork decided to smoke a doobie, and his whole left hemisphere of his brain disappeared from his stupid bald head.
Then he gave the Guild Bank to Bladezz.
The end.
In the world of Management 2.
0, you have to trust all your widgets! Clear blue ocean.
Clear blue ocean.
I gave the greatest responsibility to the weakest link of the Guild chain in order to strengthen us as a whole.
You said "a-hole.
" So then Bladezz has all the gold, all the loot, and six months of gathered materials? Vork, the retarded cousin rides the short bus.
You don't let him drive it! My boyfriend's totally laughing at us right now.
Where is he? In the car.
Where I told him to wait.
Oh! Can you have him check on my kids for me? It's a green SUV.
You left your kids in the car? What? I cracked the windows.
Mr.
Fuzzy down there.
That's what I call him.
- "Mr.
Fuzzy.
" - Yeah.
You have a name? So does my husband.
I think that's so odd.
It's odd? Don't you think that's weird? - Mr.
Fuzzy.
- No.
So you have hairy balls? Whoa.
- Whoa.
It's more of a cutesy name.
- Probably.
That's funny.
Anyway, we're gonna have an in-game party