The Perfect Couple (2024) s01e05 Episode Script

1
Good morning.
I'm sorry. I
My parents are still asleep and I didn't
want to use the machine upstairs.
I'm going to get us a hotel today.
The first week of July?
Oh. That's impossible. Don't worry.
No, no, you must stay.
I don't think
a lot of mothers like to admit it,
but there is somehow a fear
when our sons get married
that we are being replaced,
and I don't think anyone wants to line up
for second place. Do you?
He thought that you walked on water.
But now,
you're tethered to terra firma
just like the rest of us.
Greer, where's Tag?
He had to spend the night
at the police station,
so they must have had a reason
to keep him there.
Which is unfortunate,
since today is my book launch.
What are you going to wear?
Uh
I really don't think that Benji's going to
want to be in the same room as me.
Well, it's too late to cancel,
and everyone's going.
I, of course, don't want tongues wagging
about anything, but my book.
Okay.
When I was young ♪
Never needed anyone ♪
Making love was just for fun ♪
Those days are gone ♪
- Hey.
- Hey.
This is nice.
Hmm.
Yeah.
Can I ask you something?
Anything.
Do you know who Eric Carmen is?
Please don't laugh at me right now.
I'm trying to bridge
a very, very painful generational gap.
-No. Okay, of course, yeah. I'm sorry.
-Yeah.
He wrote a song that everyone
thinks is a Celine Dion song,
but it's not really a Celine Dion song.
It goes like this.
When I was young ♪
I never needed anyone ♪
And making love was just for fun ♪
Those days are gone ♪
Here's the part you'll know.
All by myself ♪
Don't want to be all ♪
Wow.
So did I do it?
-Bridge the generational gap?
-I think you did.
I did think it was Celine Dion, though.
-You did?
-Yeah.
You okay?
Yeah.
To the future.
What's up?
Um, I can't.
You can't what?
What are you talking about?
I can't have this.
I can't have it.
Oh!
Oh, shit. Oh, shit.
Yeah, "Oh, shit."
Oh Oh
Holy shit, sweetheart, are you pregnant?
I'm pregnant.
That's beautiful.
- Really?
- Yeah.
You are so beautiful.
I love you.
I love you.
I should probably get back.
-Yeah, of course. Yeah.
-Yeah.
-I'll go first.
-Okay.
All by myself ♪
Don't wanna be ♪
All by myself ♪
All by myself ♪
Lock me up 'cause I've been bad ♪
And I know I'll do it again ♪
Blue lights, red lights ♪
-We're gonna get real wild tonight ♪
-Come on ♪
Anything that feels this good ♪
Well, it must be illegal ♪
Must be illegal ♪
Call us criminals, criminals, baby ♪
Call us criminals, criminals, oh ♪
I mean, honestly, just
What are you, the morality police now?
Just because we had a connection,
okay, doesn't mean I killed her.
-And how long did this connection go on?
-A couple of months.
She was, um
She wanted more.
But you know how those things are.
Why don't you tell us
how those things are?
Uh, Mr. Winbury, your kayak
was left out overnight down by the water,
but the staff tells me
that boat was your baby
and you never leave it out.
You spoke to my staff?
Typically, in a murder investigation,
we talk to anyone who's in a position
to help us, even your staff.
So, normally, you lock the kayak
in the boathouse, right?
Yes, normally I would,
but I had a lot going on that day.
Like what?
Like murdering your pregnant mistress?
Uh
Well, for one,
my son was getting married the next day.
Anyone else have a key?
Pretty much every member of the staff.
Oh! So maybe someone on the staff
took Merritt out on your kayak,
dosed her with a barbiturate,
and then left her out there to drown?
I don't know. It's possible.
It sounds a little far-fetched to me,
then again, you are the police.
Well, you said it yourself,
she wanted more.
Look, I didn't take her out
on the boat, okay?
The last time I saw her,
she was under the tent
with Tom and Isabel. All right?
I have absolutely nothing
to hide from you.
That's why I haven't called my lawyer,
but if you insist
on this line of questioning, I will.
And you're not gonna want that,
because he's a very good attorney,
and, um, he also happens to be
one of the two or three people
who paid for the uniform
you're wearing right now.
Hmm.
"Under the tent with Isabel."
Would that happen to be Isabel Nallet?
Yes. She's a family friend.
Hmm.
You can ask her.
Uh, Merritt may have been
upset with me,
but she was very much alive
when I went to bed.
"Family friend"?
-Which side?
-Mine.
And how's your connection with her?
Thank you, Carl.
Yes, thank you, Carl.
I'm sure it will be
a delicious fucking cup of coffee.
-You want a donut with that?
-No donut.
If they have a problem
with me packing up her things,
then they can arrest me.
But they won't. Because I'm a white woman.
So gross.
Yeah, I I guess.
I thought you might want
some of this stuff.
Byredo Blanche. The literal best.
Oh, I'm sorry.
It's okay.
I can tell that you really loved her.
Sorry. It's just my friends are all like,
"What mommy-and-me music class
are you doing?"
And "Who's still wearing Golden Goose?"
I liked how you guys were just, like,
real.
Thank you.
I was looking forward
to being sisters-in-law, you know?
Maybe having an ally here.
So everyone knows?
Oh, I thought you'd be leaving today.
Yeah, me too.
But Greer wants me to go
to this book party thing.
What? Why?
I guess so no one will ask
why I'm not there.
Oh.
Okay. Makes sense, I guess.
No, you know what?
You should go. Wear something amazing.
Hold your head up high.
Show them they can't break you.
I'll be your wingwoman.
-Really?
-Yeah.
- Since I read Nightfalls on Nantucket
- Yes.
I just love looking forward
to your next book.
And I love knowing
what to get her for Christmas.
- Yeah. So true.
- Oh, I love you both.
-Greer, I am so sorry I'm late.
-Give me one second.
Oh, Enid.
-Where's your other half?
-Great turn out. He's not gonna make it.
-Everything all right?
-Yes, yes.
Greer, you remember Hyacinth?
-Hi, babe.
-And this is Brad.
It's such a big day.
Here's one for the socials.
-We'll do one for us as well.
-For Brad.
-I love it. That's so good.
-Yeah. Got that? Thank you.
So I'm going to announce
the new direction today.
I thought this could be Dash and Dolly's
going-away party.
Did you tell them? Last novel.
Mmm-hmm.
-Isn't that better?
-It's so much better.
Oh, my God. What's this?
I did text him to ask for a video message,
but I haven't heard back.
So I solved the problem.
-What do you think?
-No!
-Absolutely not. Why would you want
-No. Terrible.
-Really?
-Cover it. Roger, honestly, I told you.
You just say he is out of commission
for the day. Keep it simple.
Okay.
Hey.
Oh, hey!
I didn't know you were gonna
You were going to be here.
Yeah.
Um
Do you want to maybe hang out after this?
Want to have fun?
Um, I I don't think I can, actually.
Because of the boat.
-I I would. I'm just grounded.
-Totally. I get it. I'm sorry.
Okay.
Don't worry. It'll be fine.
We'll take one of those. Thank you.
Thank you.
Jesus. It looks like Lilly Pulitzer
projectile-vomited all over this place.
Who is gonna tell
the middle-aged men of the world
that they cannot wear shorts with loafers?
Is it going to have to be me?
You know, I'll deny I ever said this,
but I don't totally blame you.
Shooter's just so
He's just so
-rich.
-Interesting.
What?
"He's so rich"?
Oh!
Okay.
Well, at Deerfield, he had bodyguards.
He's, like, kidnap-rich.
He never mentioned that.
Yeah, he plays it down.
People with that kind of money
don't talk about their money.
Plus, I've always gotten the sense
it was, like, Middle Eastern in some way.
No, he's from India.
Exactly.
Hi. Excuse me.
Aren't you people supposed to be able
to tell when someone's shining you on?
I'm telling you the truth.
What We've known each other now,
what, ten, 15 years?
When you came here with, uh
Chloe.
Right, with Chloe in 2014
After her mother passed.
-Right.
-Hmm.
After that, yeah.
I'm so sorry.
-Congratulations! This is so amazing!
-Thank you. Yes.
-Look at you.
-You must be so proud.
I am. I am.
-That's great. Thank you.
-Oh!
In France, we don't let this kind of thing
get us down, you know?
Maybe you could get some
hot apology sex out of it.
Maybe, but we're not in France, and,
um, this really isn't helping. Thank you.
I'm just saying,
don't let it derail your life.
An affair is just the heart's way
to check if it's still alive.
The heart
Or the pussy.
Sometimes both.
This is interesting. Um
That's good advice,
and I'll take it onboard. Thank you.
Why me?
Um, again, we had a couple of glasses
of rum, a couple of cigars,
and that's where it ended, under the tent.
That's the last I saw her.
And you went to bed at 1:30?
Or thereabouts.
I don't keep a fucking diary.
We are all tired, Mr. Winbury,
but we are trying to nail down
Miss Monaco's timeline.
The drugs hadn't been in her system
for very long before Miss Sacks found her,
but we know she stayed out late,
and we know you were
part of the late-night crew.
I never said I wasn't.
Drinking rum, perfect opportunity
for you to dose somebody's drink.
So,
if there's anything you haven't told us,
this would be the time.
No.
Or you could just
let us do all the legwork
and eventually
we'll get to the truth anyway.
But even if you didn't do it,
you're still criminally liable
for not helping us find out who did.
Okay.
She really came at me.
So, I said, "Lady, I'm the one
who wrote the guest list,
and I promise you're not on it."
And then she was like,
"Well, check it again."
"It's 'Rockerfeller.'
R-O-C-K-E-R-F-E-L-L-E-R."
Idiot.
What an idiot!
I doubt she could spell it either.
-Oh, good night, guys.
-Good night.
Good night.
Anybody up for a paddle?
Perfect conditions for it.
No, thank you.
Hmm.
Here.
Take this.
-You look cold.
-Thank you.
Gotta keep yourself warm.
Don't wait for anybody else to do it.
Hey.
Hey.
-Are you seriously going out right now?
-Yeah.
Best time.
Look how glassy it is out there.
I need to talk to you.
-Yeah?
-Yeah.
What's up?
Are we really doing this?
-Are we doing this for real?
-Oh.
Hey.
You okay?
I need to know. You have to tell me.
Please.
-Tell you what?
-Just be honest.
I honestly adore you.
What's going on inside you right now is
one of the most beautiful things that
could happen between a man and a woman.
The thing is, for me, right now
it's a question of timing, you know?
No, I don't know. What do you mean?
What does that mean exactly?
Well, for one thing,
there are a couple of, uh
pretty inconvenient truths
that I have to address,
and that might take a little time.
Okay.
How much time were you thinking?
Merritt, please don't do that.
-Don't do that. I'm asking you a question.
-Putting a number on it won't
Yeah, there's a number on it
'cause the thing with babies
-What are you doing?
-is that in nine months, they arrive.
-So I'm just
-Why are we doing this?
Look at Look at this.
Uh
It's such a beautiful night.
I'm not having a good night.
I'm sorry.
You want me to get rid of it?
-I No, it's not
-You do. You want me to get rid of it.
-You want You want me to get rid of it?
-Honey Stop.
- Why? Why?
- Come here.
No, no, no! No, no!
Hey.
-It's a conversation. If you just
-You lied to me.
-I didn't
-You lied to me!
-Yes, you did.
-What are you doing? Hey, come here.
-Don't
-Come here! Stop!
-Don't touch me! No!
-Stop!
Hello!
Hello?
My watch.
My watch! My watch!
You said six o'clock, right?
-What?
-The body was found at 6:00 a.m.
Thereabouts.
Look, uh
I lied to you
about going to sleep at 1:30.
Merritt and I had an
Had an argument down by the beach
and I didn't want to tell
She told me
This doesn't lie.
This can prove without a shadow of a doubt
that I was in bed by 2:30.
That's almost four hours
before she was found,
and you said the drugs
hadn't been in her system that long.
This has an app.
It can track your heart rate,
your lung capacity, your sleep cycles.
It knows if you snore,
if your partner snores.
It knows if you so much as fucking fart
in your sleep.
Check it.
I've done some stupid things,
but, uh, I didn't kill her.
The data will be on my phone.
Check it.
Come on in.
Please come in. Take the center.
-Oh!
-I know she hates it.
"Greer" on three. One, two, three!
-Greer!
-Greer!
Champagne?
-You need it.
-Oh! Yes, please.
Mmm-hmm.
You are beautiful.
What?
- Thank you.
- Objectively
you are beautiful.
But that's not why Greer hates you.
She hates you because you're real.
That's why she hates me too.
Because I say what I think.
I don't think Greer hates you.
When people have spent their
whole lives caring about what others say,
they cannot stand to see someone
They just can't stand to see someone
Reminds them of their wasted life.
I I am
I really liked her.
Your friend.
Thank you.
Did you talk to her?
Mmm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah.
Hey, have you seen a phone anywhere?
I can't find my phone.
-Are you all right?
-No, I'm just having a day.
-Oh!
-Or, more of a life, actually.
I was going to have a nightcap,
but my date disappeared.
Do you want to join me?
Oh, no, thank you. Sorry, no.
Well, if you change your mind
But she looked so upset.
She did?
-About what?
-What else?
Amour.
Ah!
Bonsoir.
I changed my mind.
I see.
I don't know
why I keep picking the wrong guy.
The heart wants what it wants.
- Mmm-hmm.
- Yeah.
Isn't that just something people say
to justify cheating?
You don't approve of cheating?
I
Yeah, I guess I just
don't really consider it cheating
if it's more of an exit ramp.
Is that what he told you?
They never leave.
So you have to make the wife leave them.
One way or another.
Let's toast.
Hmm?
To the other woman.
- Oh, my God, are you okay?
- Shit! Oh, shit!
- Careful, don't
- No
Tomorrow is another day.
-Yeah.
-Amour.
Hey.
Oh, hey.
What the fuck do you want?
-What do I want?
-What are you doing here, man?
Your mom invited me.
Did she?
Benji
I'm sorry. Okay?
I don't expect you to say anything,
but I need you to know,
that kiss was the first time
anything like that happened.
- You're sorry?
- I want to be honest with you.
Okay.
Benji, you can't do that.
Do what?
You can't just hit someone here.
Your mom's going to kill you.
Why, are you jealous? You want to go?
-Come on, let's go. Wanna wrestle?
-Yeah, you want to wrestle me?
-You need to eat something.
-Come on, let's wrestle.
I fucking hate oysters.
Come on, let's wrestle.
-No, let's get out of here.
-What's wrong with you?
-Come on, just follow me.
-Why? Where are we going?
-You want to wrestle out there?
-Sure.
Come on. Come on. Come on.
Benji, what are you doing?
Oh, God. More oysters?
You need to calm down.
I need to take you home.
-I'm calm. It's fine. I don't want water.
-You need some water. Just Okay.
What What I need is this.
No, no, no! No more alcohol.
-Benji, no!
-You have some. You have some.
Okay. Mmm! Yum, yum, yum!
-Great, okay. Here, have some water.
-Oh, God, I'm fine.
Okay.
-There. Okay. Happy?
-Yeah. Great.
Look at you, huh.
You're caring about me now.
-I do care about you.
-It's so nice.
Yeah! Whoo!
-She cares about me!
-I'm so sorry.
-Don't apologize to him. Watch this.
-Sorry.
Watch, watch.
-I can take care of myself. Wait.
-Okay.
Oh, my God! Benji!
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
-Oh, dear.
-Oh, my God. Okay, Benji.
Okay. You're drunk.
- Yeah, no shit.
- Okay.
I'm gonna take you home now.
No, I don't want to go home.
I want to go out.
-That's not a good idea.
-Let's go out and party, just you and me.
Oh, that's right, I remember,
you don't want to party with me anymore.
You just want to go
and fuck somebody else.
It's fine. It's okay.
-That's not what this is about.
-It's none of my business.
What is it about, then?
What is it about?
Show me what it's about.
-Show me what you want.
-Benji
You know what I think?
-Do you want to know what I think?
-What?
I think you're the best fuck I ever had.
Thank you so much.
-All right?
-Go now.
Oh, hello! Good afternoon, everyone.
What a glorious sound.
-Such a joy to have you all here.
-Whoo-hoo!
Thank you so much for coming.
It warms my heart to think that you care
about Dash and Dolly as much as I do.
And you are the best fans in the world.
You really are.
I'm so lucky to have you.
You're like family to me, really.
So, I want to say, though,
this is exciting news.
This will be
the last Dash and Dolly novel.
No!
I'm sorry.
But, no, no, do not despair,
because I am working on something new,
possibly better.
Um, which I will share with you
when the time is right,
but right now
we are here to celebrate Death in Dubai.
Settle down, everyone.
"As Dolly"
Yeah!
You ordered a ginger ale, sir?
No, I didn't get anything.
I think you did.
"As Dolly navigated
the narrow alleyways of the souk,
her memory stimulated
by the smell of saffron and cinnamon,
she found herself yearning
for the early days with Dash,
when the world beckoned
like an unopened gift."
"Lately, it seems she was surrounded
by younger couples,
for whom
love itself still held the promise
of protection
against the cruelties of the world."
"And she envied their naivety."
"She had to remind herself
that the bond she shared with Dash
was now more desirable
because it was clear-eyed."
"It was battle-worn."
"More alliance than allegiance."
Uh, Roger, we need a little help
down here. Someone's
Um, come on, thank you! Thank you, Roger.
Send security in now.
"She would revisit this conviction
in the coming days
when their bond would be tested
in ways she could
never ever have predicted."
Um, sorry, everyone,
we just have a little
Roger, are we getting something Roger?
Yeah.
Sir, come on.
What a load of shit.
Excuse me? Let's go.
These for me?
-Um
-Fuck.
It's all right, everyone.
Good job, Greer.
Don't ignore me, Greer.
There we go, we've created our own drama.
Fuck off.
Obviously, not for him.
But, for all of you, we continue.
It isn't a party until someone crashes,
right, darling?
It's Dash!
It's Dash.
Back from the brink!
Oh, my God, Dash! We love you!
Get Tag. Get Tag.
A toast, ladies and gentlemen,
to my beautiful and brilliant wife,
Greer Garrison Winbury.
We're just in the middle of
Twenty-eight bestsellers.
Yay!
Twenty-nine years of marriage.
Miss Greer Garrison Winbury!
I've found the greatest wife of all ♪
Is right beside me ♪
All right. Thank you, darling.
I just want to say something.
If I can. If I may.
I love this woman.
I love
Do you know how much I love this woman?
-It doesn't
-I would kill for her.
I haven't, by the way, darling,
but I would. I could.
-Wonderful. Let's have this
-If I had to.
The thing about my wife is she cares.
I do.
She cares so deeply about her fans.
Oh, yes.
-Thank you. All of you.
-All of you.
-She cares so deeply
-All right.
-about each and every one of you.
-Stop.
she would like you to know
that our marriage is deeply, profoundly,
and terminally fucked.
Yes, it is. Absolutely right.
So you can all stop
comparing yourselves to us, you can.
And you know what?
You can stop sucking the giant cock
-of the paperback industry
-Tag!
because it's just a fucking story.
-Isn't it, you fucking twits?
-No. That's
It is. It's just a fucking story.
-I know you like your stories.
-We're done.
I know she tells them well.
"Oh, they met in a"
"They met at a gallery opening in London.
The bride wore white."
But my wife
Please, Tag.
-Tag, please. Darling
-My wife is much more colorful than that.
Yeah.
No. We're we're not the perfect couple.
In fact, we're quite imperfect.
Um, you know,
sometimes we're not even a couple.
Usually I mean, not usually,
but occasionally we have a third.
Don't make a habit of it.
Birthdays, anniversaries,
that sort of thing.
We are far from perfect.
I mean, how many women do you know
who would try to frame their husbands
for murder?
Come on. Come on.
Who would do that? And yet
And yet, I stay.
Huh?
Because I'm never going to give you up.
Because I'm never going to give you up ♪
Never going to let you down ♪
Never going to run around and hurt you ♪
-Everyone!
-Here we go.
Never gonna make you cry ♪
Never going to say good-bye ♪
Never going to run around
And desert you ♪
Come on, everybody!
Never going to say good-bye ♪
Never gonna make you cry ♪
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you ♪
Never going to say good-bye ♪
Never gonna make you cry ♪
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you ♪
-Come on. All right.
-You're all invited to our 30th.
Thanks very much
All right. We're getting an Uber.
Come on, let's go.
Yep.
Whatever happened
to a good old bathroom scale?
I don't even want to know all this
about my bodily functions.
Well, a scale can't tell other people
how fucking rich you are.
Supposedly, this is the data
from the sleep tracker app.
-It'll never hold up in court, though.
-You know what, though?
I think he's telling the truth,
which is weird,
because even when he tells the truth,
he looks like he's lying, but
Wait, hold on.
Hold on. Look. All these other nights,
look, there's two sleepers,
two sets of breathing,
but on that night,
there's only one sleeper
from, like, 3:00 a.m. to 4:30.
So there's no one else in the room
for, like, an hour-and-a-half.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey, can we talk?
Sure.
-I just want to make sure you're okay.
-I'm fine.
-You told me you didn't have any money.
-I didn't say that.
I said I didn't care about money.
And I don't. I never think about it.
Well, it's a lot easier to say
when you've always had it.
You're just like the rest of them.
No one around here tells the truth.
They're all lying.
All the time.
Amelia, I would have told you
You let me think that we were the same.
But we're not.
Not at all.
I'm sorry.
Why are you so upset about this?
I had sex with Benji.
At the party.
He was drunk, but I wasn't.
So now you know.
I'm just as messed up as everyone else.
So, good.
Good we realized this was impossible
before we did anything else stupid.
And hurt anyone more than we already have.
Glad that's settled.
Hey, Dan.
Second time in two days.
Becoming a regular.
I thought you'd be here.
-I would've never guessed whiskey.
-No?
Then you're not a very good detective,
are you?
The Mayor and the Chamber of Commerce
would agree with you.
-Here you go.
-Thank you, Joe.
What's that?
Dark 'N' Stormy.
I did not name it, but it is very good.
Joe?
Coming right up.
Oh!
Okay, Detective Henry.
You're gonna have to admit
you like me a little bit more after this.
You know that 3:08 a.m. call
to the Sand Dollar hotel
from Greer's office line
-the night of the murder?
-Yes. Yes!
Broderick Graham.
Graham?
Isn't that that guy they had to
kick out from Greer's book party?
-So she knew him?
-Looks like it.
And we did a background check.
He's a pretty tough customer.
Huh.
-What?
-What do you think?
-What do I think?
-Yeah. You like me any better now?
See? I'm growing on you.
-Oh, no, what happened?
-You had to ruin it.
Oh, it was so good, and then
I could help you.
I'm very good with motive.
I need to get my mind off everything.
I've had a hell of a day.
Please?
Okay, uh, I'll play. Um
Isabel Nallet.
Ah! Oh, she's been in love with my husband
for years.
She, um, finds out
that he's sleeping with Merritt
and decides to eliminate the competition.
Well, okay. That's an easy one.
How about you?
I would say what makes it so obvious
is what makes it so unlikely.
Yeah, well. But maybe that's your cover,
you know, hiding in plain sight.
Mmm. Mmm!
That'd be a good one.
Uh-huh.
Having a drink with me right now,
offering to help.
I mean, who would do that
if they were guilty?
It would take a very good liar.
-Well, you do write fiction.
-One Dark 'N' Stormy.
I see. But even the best of liars
get very tired juggling too much.
Or it gets too overwhelming,
and they snap.
Is there something
that you want to tell me?
That's good.
-Excuse me.
-Of course.
Carter.
Hello? Chief, are you there?
-You're on speakerphone with me and Carl.
-Hey, Chief.
-Yeah.
-Okay.
Um
Get this. The night Merritt died,
Greer was on the phone
with someone at the Sand Dollar
about a half-hour
before our estimated time of death.
Who?
Well, the guest is a guy
named Broderick Graham,
and he flew in from London that day.
-It gets better, Chief.
-Okay.
So, it turns out
that Graham is some low-level errand boy
for a gang with ties to the Turkish mafia.
Yeah, he got tattoos, and he looks
like some kind of British Scarface.
So this gang,
they run heroin out of Mumbai,
they dabble in the arms trade,
and Graham's been calling the house
ever since the night Merritt died.
He won't stop.
- He's called nine times since that night.
- Nine times!
- Okay.
- But this is the best part.
We found a record
of a wire transfer for $300,000
to Broderick Graham from
Drumroll, Carl.
Shooter Dival.
Yeah. Yeah.
Mmm-hmm.
Right.
Fuck!
Oh!
Hi.